The Clue Issue by Buzzsaw Magazine

BUZZSAW The CLUE Issue and we would have gotten away with it, too

One small step for man, one giant leap… well, you know the rest. Areas of vast darkness that stretch for trillions of li

comment It was Miss Scarlett in the billiard room with a rope! No, it was Mr. Green in the solarium with a lead pipe! Clue is the game of wild accusations. It led to screaming matches when your parents innocently sent you and the cousins off to the unfinished basement to play it postThanksgiving dinner. It is the way to carry your childhood obsession with Nancy Drew and Agatha Christie into adulthood. So get out the spy kit you received for your 10th birthday. Break out a magnifying glass. Buy red string at Michael’s and construct your own CSI board. Whodunnit? I have no clue.

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Run? Hide? Fight. Responding to active shooters on college campuses // by Julia Batista, Web and Social Media Editor

NEWS AND VIEWS

n October 2, Josue Chavez, a SUNY Oneonta student, had already finished classes for the day and was inside of his dorm, attending to some busy work when he received a text message from the college. “University Police have received notification that a current student believed to be on campus is threatening to shoot members of the campus community,” it stated. “Please shelter in place.” Although not knowing how real the situation was, Chavez found himself closing his windows and blinds in a rush so that he could hide in the safest corner of his dorm, a procedure that was taught to him and many other students since the beginning of middle school. “I was lucky that I was in my dorm because I didn’t have to deal with the fear of being outside,” Chavez said. According to Chavez, students and professors who were in class during the threat didn’t know what to do. Some professors did not take the threat seriously and continued to teach. Others who thought about locking the classrooms could not, given that some of the doors would not lock, while other professors had to look up the kind of procedure to follow due to not having the proper training or knowledge of what to do, while some decided to abandon their students. As reported by the Oneonta Daily Star, after another text message was sent to students saying that it was safe to go outside, the emergency siren of the campus began to wail, causing more havoc and fear because some did not know what it meant. The university decided to use the siren as an all-clear message, but this was unclear throughout as it caused students to scream and panic. “The way the college handled the situation was very poor,” Chavez said. “It was very traumatizing because a lot of people thought that they were going to die. It’s just very baffling how our university was so underprepared when it came to this situation.” Since the incident and a petition with over 8,400 signatures started by a student, Chrystal Savage, there

are pushes for active shooter drills to be taught to all of the faculty and staff on the SUNY Oneonta campus. The lack of a protocol from the professors and campus police angered many. “We’re not the ones who need the drills,” Chavez said. “It’s the faculty that need the drills. We’ve been doing this since we started [primary] school. We don’t need this anymore, the faculty do. They’re the ones who are out of touch with reality. Maybe we’ll be more prepared when we’ve done some drills but still, we should’ve done that before this happened, not after.” Since the Columbine shooting in 1999, primary schools across the nation were shocked into preparing for a duplicate event, and this became a recurring incident after Sandy Hook in 2012. This included scheduled lockdowns, where teachers usher students into the corner that is most out of sight of the windows or the door. Students are shushed to silence in the dark as faculty and staff act as the intruders in the hall trying to break into the classrooms. Now 96 percent of public schools conduct these lockdown drills, some of them enacting them once a month and others just a handful of times throughout the school year. The drill has been repeated so much that it is engraved into our behavioral reaction, as proven by Chavez. Since faculty and staff have never experienced nor trained to protect students during an active shooter threat, they are left to be the most unprepared. This essentially outlines the differences between lockdown drills within primary schools and college campuses, although there have been a number of mass shootings at universities such as Virginia Tech. With the ever-growing fear of an active shooter threat, will universities start to acknowledge that the possibility of these threats are growing? What will they do to improve their active shooter drills? What has to happen next so that we can effectively and proactively protect children and future generations from feeling unsafe in school?

Julia Batista is a second-year IMC major who wants justice for all and for schools to be safe again. They can be reached a jbatista@ithaca.edu.

Five Demands,

Not One Less

Breaking down the political unrest in Hong Kong // by Alma Guardado, Staff Writer History of Hong Kong Until 1997, Hong Kong was a British colony. Under the “one country, two systems” policy, Hong Kong became part of China. It’s called a Special Administrative Region (SAR) of China. It operates as if it is its own country in certain ways. Hong Kong has a separate legal and economic system. Hong Kong would be allowed to “keep many liberties denied to citizens on the mainland, including free speech, unrestricted internet access and the right to free assembly.” This was guaranteed under Hong Kong’s Basic Law. This system was to remain until 2047. People in Hong Kong describe themselves as “Hong Kongers” instead of “Chinese.” They do not want to involve themselves with the Communist Party.

What started the protest? According to Hong Kong Public Opinion Research Institute, about 80 percent of the public is dissatisfied with the government’s performance. In recent years, anger has increased. They believe their freedoms have been attacked by China’s increasing influence on Hong Kong. Protestors feel politically powerless. Under the government committee of 1,200 residents dominated by Beijing allies select the leader for Hong Kong. Protests began in June 2019 over the extradition law, which has been removed. Protestors put forth “Five Demands, not one less.” 1. Withdraw the extradition law (Already Met) 2. Protest not to be characterized as a “riot” 3. Independent investigation into police brutality 4. Amnesty for arrested protesters 5. Implementation of universal suffrage

What are the effects of the protests? Protests began with peaceful marches. Since July 21, when a mob attacked protesters in a subway station and about 45 people were injured, protests have escalated. Protestors have set off fires in subway stations, smashed business windows and vandalized those who oppose them. At lunchtime, bankers and lawyers gathered outside their offices to yell at the police. “If there is still any wishful thinking that by escalating violence the government will yield to pressure I am making this clear and loud here.” Carrie Lam, Chief Executive of Hong Kong said. “That will not happen.” School campuses have become battlefields. Police have sprayed tear gas. Students have attacked the police with flaming arrows and bricks. On-campus lectures have been canceled in numerous universities, including PolyU, Chinese University, Hong Kong Baptist University and the University of Hong Kong. Protestors have been in battle with the police since the beginning of the protests. Brutality on both sides has escalated. About 3,300 people have been arrested, and this number continues to increase. China’s General Secretary Xi Jinping supports city police. Jinping states they are “stopping violence and controlling chaos while restoring order.” Hong Kong’s subway transport system MTR has been closed down, and stations have been damaged by protestors, causing the cancellation of many buses and trains. Protesters have blocked roads and Key tunnels linking Hong Kong Island with Kowloon peninsula. Hong Kong’s economy has pushed into recession. Tourists, business travelers and foreign exchange students are afraid. Many businesses and shops have been shut down.

How will this affect Beijing (Mainland of China)? Hong Kong is the gateway between China and the rest of the world. This will continue to affect multinational companies. China uses Hong Kong as a financial stop to trade with other countries. For China, Hong Kong is a symbolic representation of the Communist Party working with free-market societies. Local and mainlanders’ tensions have increased tremendously. Protestors have burned Chinese flags and written phrases like “Chinazi” and “Hong Kong is not China!” in public places. Due to this, mainland Chinese fear has increased. The population of Hong Kong has refused to talk to Mandarin speakers. To avoid any violence in Cantonese-speaking cities, parents have told their children to stop speaking Mandarin in public.

Underage Drinking in the U.S.

Teenagers can vote and fight in wars...so why can’t they legally drink alcohol? // by George Christopher, Staff Writer; art by Guinevere Fullteron, Staff Artist

any teens in America have come into contact with alcohol, and plenty have consumed it well before reaching the age of 21. So if teens can so easily get into contact with alcohol, then why has the government maintained its regulations against it? After prohibition ended in the 1930s, most states set their drinking age at 21. After the passage of the 26th Amendment in 1971, which lowered the voting age to 18, many states lowered their drinking age as well. State laws varied with ages ranging from 18 to 21. In 1984 in response to the rising level of drunk driving fatalities, especially among teens, the Reagan Administration raised the national drinking age to 21. Since the drinking age was widely seen as a state matter, the Reagan Administration threatened to withhold federal money for Interstate Highways if the states didn’t concede. Eventually, all states raised their drinking age to 21 leaving us with our current system. So that’s the story of how we got our current drinking age. But, does it make sense? Should it be lowered? Raised? Drunk driving was certainly a pervasive problem in the 1970s and 80s. According to the Department of Health and Human Services, alcohol was involved in over 60 percent of traffic deaths in the mid-70s. It was involved in two-thirds of traffic deaths of 16 to 20-year-olds. So the concern was certainly well-founded. And since the 1980s, the number of alcohol-related traffic deaths has declined including among

16 to 20-year-olds. But perhaps even more interesting is the question of governmental ethics. Why should the government be stopping legal adults from consuming alcohol when those same people most other privileges and requirements of adulthood? One of the most prominent of these responsibilities is to serve in the military. A little over 5,400 people have died in the global War on Terror since 2001. The 26th Amendment, passed in 1971 to lower the voting age to 18, was pushed for by young people who argued that if they were old enough to be drafted, sent to war, and potentially die, then how were they not old enough to vote for the people who may make those very decisions? If 18, 19, and 20 year-olds are old enough to be in the military, why can’t they drink? Still, drinking remains a national health issue. According to the NIH, 14.1 million American adults suffer from Alcohol Use Disorder, and 443,000 children from the ages of 12 to 17 suffer from the disorder. That’s 5 and 2 percent of the respective populations suffering from a serious mental disorder that can not only affect their own well-being, but also that of those around them. Despite the higher drinking age, almost 20 percent of people aged 12 to 20 reported drinking over the previous month and over 5,000 American adolescents die from underage drinking every year. 88,000 Americans die every year from alcohol-related issues, making it the third leading preventable cause of death in the United States. In 1985, shortly after the drinking age went up, 59 percent of teens reported drinking in the previous month. This shows that that number has gone down. But on college campuses, the numbers are much more similar to those of the 1980s. 53 percent of college students reported drinking in the previous month compared with 49 percent of noncollege students in the same age range. There are some massive inconsistencies in how our country allows adults to live. There can be no doubt that alcoholism is a scourge on our nation’s collective health, but to change this we cannot look exclusively to legislation. We must alter the way we view alcoholism and addiction in general and allow comprehensive health care to help heal Americans. America must also alter how we drink. We must stop the scare tactics used in schools that only encourage teens to drink and perform other dangerous activities as a form of rebellion. This cannot be a governmental change, it has to be a societal and cultural one.

George Christopher is a first-year journalism major forever thinking complexly about the status quo. They can be reached at gchristopher@ithaca.edu.

Alma Guardado is a second-year social studies major waiting patiently for democracy to prevail. They can be reached at aguardodo@ithaca.edu.

The Newsroom Conspiracy

by Christian Maitre, Staff Writer; art by Adam Dee, Art Editor

UPFRONT

he line between line between objective news and opinion is fading at an alarming rate. Corporations with political objectives own local news stations across the country. One of these companies is the telecommunications giant known as Sinclair Broadcast Company. According to Vox, Sinclair-owned news stations reach 40 percent of American households. Although Sinclair denies having any political sway, it is publicly known that the company is right-leaning. Their Chief Political Analyst Boris Epheshteyn was a former member of the Trump administration. He can be seen giving biased statements on how the left is attacking President Trump during multiple newscasts. Epheshteyn’s statement is an example of what are called “must-runs”. Must-runs are right-leaning political statements that are scattered throughout most of Sinclair’s newscasts. Although these statements are subjective in nature, broadcast journalists are required to say them on air. These must-runs reach all local news stations owned by Sinclair, talking about exclusively conservative issues. Broadcasters, viewers, and free speech advocates have all publicly criticized these must-runs, but pushback against them became national news when the website Deadspin.com released a compilation of Sinclair TV stations across the country, which featured newscasters repeating the same must-run on screen. Sinclair received intense backlash on social media but pushback against these must-runs was not new. Broadcasters contracted. Edie Magnus, a former broadcaster and correspondent for 25 years—working until 2007—revealed that Sinclair was effective at getting anchors to say must-runs

on camera. According to Magnus, refusing to show Sinclair’s must-runs would have resulted in a breach of contract. This could result in the anchor’s job getting terminated, and Sinclar could sue them for breach of contract. A friend of Magnus who worked for WKRC in Cincinnati, Ohio, said they did not enjoy their time under contract to Sinclair. “He was miserable about having to do it, but had been told flat out that he’d be in breach of contract if he didn’t.” Magnus also stated that knew of many other Sinclair broadcasters that did not enjoy their time working for the company. Sinclair apparently made it “...a very unpleasant place to work.” Sinclair released a response to all the backlash they received as a result of the viral video. They called must-runs their “corporate news journalistic responsibility promotional campaign.” This description is similar to one given by a current Sinclair broadcaster, who asked not to be named. They simply described it as “political commentary” put out by Sinclair. The public’s trust in news dwindles when media conglomerates like Sinclair get exposed. People often look to local news for stories without commentary that are informative and factual. However, it has been discovered that local news is not even safe from corporate and political bias. In an age where more and more people are developing distrust in the media, companies like Sinclair are only adding to the problem.

Christian Maitre is a sophomore Journalism major who has nightmares about Fox News. They can be reached at cmaitre@ithaca.edu.

Job RAing— AforFull-Time Full-Time Students

Lights, Camera—Ticket?

The secrets behind closed doors // by Mateo Flores, Ministry of Cool Editor; art by Adam Dee, Art Editor

Red-light cameras are robbing commuters, who’ve had enough // by Peter Tkaczyk, Staff Writer

n 2016, the amount of revenue generated annually by

red-light cameras—meant to catch motorists in the act of running a light—in Nassau County, New York, increased. The program’s profit jumped by 44 percent, likely due to a $15 increase to one of the fees involved in a camera-related violation, which brought the total cost to $150. Nassau is not the only county in the country to utilize red-light cameras or the crushing fees associated with them. Americans must live with the threat of these cameras as part of their daily commute, and the public response to these impositions comes in the form of license plate covers. License plate covers are plastic frames that cover a license plate, which obscures them in some way. Some are impossible to see through at an angle, while others use special lenses to make it impossible for cameras that use flashes to pierce them. Some are more than opaque plastic that partially obscures the plate. The exact method and level of technology can vary, but the core function remains the same. As stories like the ones of Nassau County continue to proliferate, the use of license plate covers persists among frustrated commuters. It is by no means difficult to get your hands on a license plate cover. You can buy anti-camera plates and sprays online for as little as $50, and if that’s still too much for you, there are DIY videos on how to make your own. The demand for these covers becomes obvious when you look at the facts of this modern traffic policing strategy. Red-light cameras represent a dire philosophy. They reduce a single type of crash: that of cars smashing into each other mid-intersection. These cameras are either ineffectual or downright detrimental to the rates of other types of crashes, as they encourage drivers to make sudden, dangerous stops rather than cross a line and get a ticket that could cost them hundreds of dollars. The word best used to describe this relationship is hostile, or perhaps predatory. Why else would Nassau County’s own website declare that they will not allow citizens to review the footage that has so indicted them unless they come prepared with a court order, subpoena, or warrant? It is difficult to describe a set of circumstances that would produce such a conviction without describing one of the parties as a target. As long as people consider themselves to be targets, they will devise defenses. For as long as police attempt to surveil any population, that population will seek out means of subverting and working around whatever they

use, through both high and low tech. The massive and ongoing Hong Kong protests, for instance, have been a proving ground of these techniques. You’ve perhaps heard of the apps used to track police movements, but other methods have included using laser pointers to blind cameras, wearing bizarre hairstyles that confuse facial recognition algorithms, and even simply using massive poles to cover cameras with boxes. Of course, whenever such a solution emerges, the law quickly responds through litigation, and that holds true for license plate covers. In section 402 of New York’s traffic law, subsection 8, it states the following: “It shall be unlawful for any person, firm, partnership, association, limited liability company or corporation to sell, offer for sale or distribute any artificial or synthetic material or substance for the purpose of application to a number plate that will, upon application to a number plate, distort a recorded or photographic image of such number plate.” Fines can range from $25 to $200, but, of course, much of that range falls under what you might expect to receive for a red light camera fine. This is not a new opinion. In the 2010 edition of the Washington University Journal of Law & Policy, Joel O. Christensen wrote in his article, Wrong on Red: The Constitutional Case Against Red-Light Cameras, “Automated enforcement of this sort raises significant constitutional red flags; red-light cameras‘ validity is questionable under both general constitutional principles and the expanding jurisprudential frameworks established by state courts assessing similar schemas. Red-light cameras unduly impede constitutional liberty by depriving motorists of their Fifth Amendment presumption of innocence and Sixth Amendment right to confrontation, and as such should not enjoy protection from Missouri courts.” More worrying is his preceding comment: “Absent legislative or judicial intervention, red-light cameras‘ continued presence seems assured.” Thankfully license plate covers, at least, may not be a measure that is necessary forever. The number of communities utilizing them has decreased each year since they peaked in 2012, on account of being unnecessary, financially unviable (often due to those victimized choosing not to pay their fines), and evil. Despite this, the predatory mindset which created them continues to survive. However, for as long as it does, human ingenuity will rise to meet it, and whatever method of surveillance is attempted will in time be circumvented.

Peter Tkaczyk is a junior Writing major who counts their Mississippi’s before making a right-on-red. They can be reached at ptkaczyk@ithaca.edu.

o be as transparent as possible, last year I was a resident assistant (RA). I quickly have to ask you to let the narc comments fall to the wayside, as they’re largely undeserved. When you tell people you’re an RA there’s a certain type of answer you become trained to expect. “Really?” Was a big one for me. Hell, even I felt that way applying and getting hired. My presentation on why I wanted to be an RA was titled: “Me? An RA? Sure!” Then, you’re usually met with a comment somewhere along the lines of “I could never be an RA. Sounds like so much work.” Maybe this was just me, but I couldn’t help but think: If only I knew what I was in for. Perhaps this comment comes from those who had a good relationship with their RA, to the point where their RA would tell them the laundry list of things they had to do for their resident director (RD) or the Office of Residential Life, to the point where they would be shocked at all an RA truly does. Odds are, if most people knew even a fraction of what RAs had to do for ResLife—their residents and their RD—they might be a little more understanding towards their or other RAs. RAs all sing a similar song at Ithaca College—for the shared experiences, frustrations and stressors are the notes to a similarly frustrated tune. I became an RA for the Fall 2018 to Spring 2019 semesters before I stopped. It wasn’t a split-second decision to leave… the desire to leave the RA position for me was already strong after three months into the job. The money that came with being an RA was the most attractive thing about it, and the friends that I made along the way that have made an impact on my life for the better were a priceless bonus that went on to shape the way I looked at college. One of those people, thankfully, is Jake Catalanotto. Jake was already an RA for a year when I met him and was a valuable mentor in the way I looked at the job and working with other students as a whole. For the three semesters he served as an RA, Jake lived in East Tower. I recently sat down with him to get an understanding of his perspective and experience as an RA. Pretty early into our conversation Jake shared with me the feelings of isolation that he felt. “Honestly it was incredibly lonely at times,” he said. This loneliness was compounded by the fact that his friends outside of the RA role were moving into upperclassmen housing together. “At the end of the day you’re a resource for [residents] and not the other way around was incredibly stressful and isolating.” Jake’s feelings of isolation were catalyzed by a lack of support and the constant stressors of the RA role. While the RA role differs from college to college, at Ithaca College, RAs are expected, to a certain degree, to be on at all times. “Someone might knock on your door at 4 a.m. cause they’re locked out, or at 8 a.m. because they need an earring put

in—people will go to you for personal things.” Jake was not alone in feeling anxious towards his job responsibilities. I also sat down to talk with Diana Castillo, another dear friend and mentor, who was my RA Buddy when I first started. RA Buddies are a way for returning RAs to lend support to new RAs and Diana, was an answer to my questions, a person to lean on when I felt the most alone and most importantly a friend whose support became crucial to keeping my head above water those first couple of months.When I asked her about her experience in the role, she shared that the hardest part of the role was her encounters with mental health concerns of her residents. “There can never be a training that prepares students to help other students in situations that could be life or death,” Diana said. “I didn’t expect to confront as many mental health incidents where it was very scary. I didn’t feel as though I had the proper training, nor do I think it should be put on students, that should be a counselor or therapist or someone who has the degree. I don’t think that was talked about enough at all.” Being a resident assistant is a very specific job that contains within it a plethora of responsibilities for a full-time college student to take on. From an outsider’s perspective, it can seem like a relatively simple job; bulletin boards, door tags and events are some of the more tangible responsibilities that RAs do for their residents. In a video published by The Ithacan titled “#ICHowItWorks: Resident Assistants,” Alexandra Adams and Clare Nowalk, who were RAs at the time of the video being filmed, listed some of the responsibilities of RAing. Adams discussed “provid[ing] for the well-being of residents,” “staff meetings,” “keeping everyone informed.” She also discussed “always having the phone on” and always being “on the clock.” Clare Nowalk said that outside of the responsibilities that Adamas listed that RAing also involves “a lot of paperwork,” “throwing events,” and “making bulletin boards.” When I spoke to Diana, she added checking her mailbox “almost every day” for posters and flyers to hang on bulletin boards, One on One meetings with residents, that she had spaced out an hour of time to do for somewhere around “twenty to twenty five residents,” lockouts, Judicial responsibilities, floor meetings and office duty. She elaborated on the events process; adding that planning, budgeting and shopping for the event added extra time to having an event on top of throwing the event– she also mentioned that shopping for events was challenging because she didn’t have a car. To all the people I spoke to, the amount of time that they had dedicated to the job seemed to be indeterminable. Jake said it was: “Really hard to define,” because the hours that were more concretely scheduled and defined (like staff meeting, two hours every week) conflict with things that

are not concrete, like interactions and the arts and crafts of bulletin boards and door tag making. Diana said it was “Hard to put a number to it because you live in your job.” Diana also mentioned that in her experience, residents became so comfortable with her that they brought their friends of other buildings to her so that she could help them. Something that wasn’t touched upon in that video was but everyone I spoke to mentioned was duty. RAs perform duty almost every night of the semester from 9 p.m. until 6 a.m. the next morning. Duty responsibilities include having the duty phone and going on rounds. The duty phone is the phone number you call when you get locked out or when you need any other assistance. One RA is responsible for answering it for the entire night. Through all of this, ResLife’s main method of support for their over one hundred student staff are RDs. RDs are ResLife’s professional staff members that supervises an entire cluster of residents and their RAs. You may have met your RD, or you may not have. Either way, their presence in the cluster is of the utmost importance to RAs. RDs are RAs’ direct supervisor, they offer to their RAs a lot of what RAs offer their residents in terms of emotional support. Every other week, one-onone meetings take place where RAs and RDs discuss the job and if you have a good relationship with your RD, the effect that the responsibilities are having on RAs as people and students. RDs offer advice—when an issue with a resident comes up that you have to address, your RD can give you some of the most direct instructions for how to address it. RAs need RDs as much as RDs need RAs. When your RD is inexperienced or apathetic it can be extremely challenging to do your job as an RA. When the relationship between an RA and their RD is good, things go smoothly. But when the support is not there, the consequences seem to fall back upon RAs. “There are a lot of responsibilities on an RA and some of them are as simple as clerical duties and some of them are managing the mental health of college students,” Jake said. “And the mental health of college students, especially freshmen, is not an easy thing to handle. Sometimes you’re dealing with really serious life or death situations and you are kind of on the frontlines. Being guided by someone who also has no idea what they’re doing, who can’t give you the answers you need after an encounter ends—you still have to deal with it in a lot of ways.” Jake said. Jake went on to explain that to his residents, he was the face of ResLife. When Jake did not get the support that he needed from his RD, it fell upon him to find the solution himself, with the help of the other RAs on his staff. A vicious circle begins, students supporting other students who don’t

necessarily have the resources or training to support those students. It seems to come with the territory—that’s what you signed up for when you decide to become an RA. It’s what is expected of you in order to receive compensation. The RAs that I spoke to were RAs for 2017-2019 academic years and they all said that compensation was a big part of why they decided to become an RA. Diana needed compensation in order to stay at Ithaca College. “I had heard that RA compensation was about $12,000 and change and I knew that that would significantly bring down my bill and the school was expensive as it was my freshman year so during the year I was looking for scholarships and ways to decrease my bill so I could come back for a sophomore year.” Diana isn’t alone either. Taylor, an RA who worked during the 2017-2019 academic years, and would also prefer to remain anonymous also needed compensation to remain at IC. “It was 75 percent of room and board that I got. I got a single, but I still paid to live in that single.” Taylor stated that while an increase in compensation was part of the reason why they stayed, they also couldn’t leave the job as they wouldn’t be able to attend IC. RA Compensation isn’t a fixed number, but rather it’s a percentage of room and board that IC pays for upfront. The number has been marginally rising over the years, but during the 2017-2018 academic year it was 75 percent of room and board for new RAs (People who have been in the job for less than two semesters) and 90.1 percent of room and board for returners (RAs that have worked for more than two semesters). “I was still paying to be an RA.” Jake said. The increase in compensation was a huge motivator for all of the RAs that I spoke to. Though they felt that it wasn’t necessarily justified. Diana said “There’s not a huge difference between the responsibilities of a new and returning RA.” The only tangible difference is that returners are paired with a new RA as an RA buddy. “There’s a difference in responsibility in the beginning but afterwards it’s the same thing. We have the same deadlines, the same stuff to do in general.” Diana felt that new RAs may even work harder because they’re eager to prove themselves. The 15.1 percent difference serves more as an incentive to remain in the position than it is a justifiable difference in the job. The following year returning RA compensation rose 1 percent and for the first time since the 90s, according to The Ithacan for the 2019-2020 academic year RAs finally accomplished full room and board. However, the only RAs that receive full compensation are yet again returners. While full compensation was granted for returners, new

RA compensation rose to 80 percent. While the gradual rises between both are excellent for RAs still working, the discrepancy between new and returning compensation has also drastically increased. The discrepancy went from 15.1 percent to 16.1 percent to now 20. Still, responsibilities for the two have not changed, except for the addition of Orientation duties. The overarching sentiment echoed by the RAs that I spoke to was that a lack of full compensation led to them not feeling valued by the college. Though out of the role, this song sounded all too familiar. “It’s a 24-hour job and that’s something that people don’t really talk about,” Devon said. Devon was an RA also during the 2017-2019 years and they’d prefer to stay anonymous. “I could be in class and a resident could text me. I personally had a rule where I would not respond to that sort of thing unless it were an emergency.” It’s common in the RA role to hear that you’re a person first, a student second and an RA third. This hierarchy of responsibilities is a practical way to manage the responsibilities in and out of the role. Though, Devon felt that the RA role constantly interfered with their academics. “There would be some nights where I had a bulletin board and three other things due the next day for the RA role–but I also had a five-page essay and needing to make a choice between the two. It’s easy to email my RD and ask for an extension but needing to make that choice is something that’s very common for RAs. And it’s not always something that you can put off— sometimes you have this five-page essay but then you have this student that comes up to you and says: ‘Hi—I am in crisis and I need immediate help.’ And that’s not something you can put off.” Taylor felt similarly: “If I actually did everything by the book as an RA, I wouldn’t get my work done. I had to constantly half-ass all the things I did so I could get it all done. I never did my readings for class I would just show up and listen to everyone and get the gist from the readings because I didn’t have time to do the readings because of all the things I was doing as an RA. Sometimes I would slack in the RA role or slack in academics—it’s one or the other, but most of the time both.” These words too, sounded all too familiar. On the hierarchy of needs established for RAs, many of the people I spoke to felt that their personal needs and desires were constantly in conflict with the RA role. Many mentioned “normalness” in college and how the RA role did not allow for the average college experience. Mostly they mentioned an interference with the social life that they lived before they became RAs and how the RA role impacted the way they moved about campus. Among Jake’s “loneliness,” Diana’s “caution,” Taylor’s “anxiety” and Devon’s conflict between their friends going out and maintaining the responsibilities of the job. This all centered around one thing: the fear of being fired. “I think when you’re a first time RA, it is because they almost scare you. They have that training with boundaries, but it comes off as ‘here are the things that will

cost you your enrollment’ possibly for a lot of people.” Diana said. Devon said that the fear of being fired was constant. “Even when I was doing absolutely nothing wrong, I was worried that I was somehow forgetting something, or I would make one misstep or literally anything—they would fire me. I was constantly so stressed about that: knowing that if I was fired mid semester, my compensation would be changed and suddenly I’d have to come up with that money for school. That reality was terrifying and so I felt that ResLife had a huge power imbalance over me. They know that they could just fire you and there’s nothing I can do about it. They know that RAs are replaceable. Because school and housing are so expensive, there’s an incredibly long list of people that want to be RAs. I know that if I slipped up even the tiniest bit, they could fire me and get someone new and it would not be hard for them at all.” Devon said. In the hiring process, there is also an alternate pool where certain applicants are placed, in case an RA that does have the position leaves or is terminated from the position. Each RA I spoke to mentioned the “Life in a Fishbowl” training, where the RA role is examined through “The Fishbowl Effect,” which according to the University of Miami’s Office of Residential Life is “The idea that your residents look up to you pay attention to what you do and take queues from your actions… We’re role models wherever we are, similar to how a fish can always be observed in its bowl.” The message to a new RA seems to be clear, however nerve wracking: you’re always being watched. This all sounds too familiar, a melody I’ve heard before and associated with a distinct memory. Upon hearing it all again, it all comes back. Long nights, indeterminable hours, stressing for my residents and for myself, feeling unvalued by the college despite all that I was doing, strains in my social life, communication errors with my RD, debating whether to lose sleep doing RA responsibilities and homework, anxiety that the duty phone would ring on my desk, feeling watched and above all just wanting to be a “normal college student.” RAing, was to me, a battle I could never win, a puzzle I could never solve and a song that played ad infinitum, on loop. Though I did learn a lot undeniably, about myself, about the world, about interacting with others. I made my closest friends and found my most trusted confidants in the RA role and they’ve stayed with me long after I left the positon. As my first conversation with Jake came to an end, I shared with him—still probably subconsciously seeing him as a mentor—my concern of how this article would be perceived. Stepping up like he did in my first semester, he said: “RAs feel like they’re in between the organization of Ithaca College and students. Students most of the time just look at us like cops: people just trying to get them in trouble. It’s really hard for them to connect with us—to see that role—yes, gets them in trouble sometimes—it’s can also be horrible for us too.” And he’s right. It can be.

Mateo Flores is a third year Writing for Film, TV and Emerging Media major and they are off duty. You can reach them at mflores3@ithaca.edu

Mint Production for Sustainability New Tech is Revolutionizing the Pacific Northwest Mint Industry // by James Baratta, Upfront Editor

int, of the Mentha genus, has its uses as a culinary and homeopathic product. Peppermint (Mentha piperita) and spearmint (Mentha spicata) are mostly grown in Pacific Northwest states like Oregon, Washington and Idaho. Although it was predominantly grown on farms in Upstate New York in the late 1800s, mint agriculture saw a shift in the early 1900s to states in the Great Lakes region like Michigan, Indiana and Wisconsin. Come 1950, mint farmers encountered a devastating, plant-eating disease called verticillium wilt. This drove mint production farther and farther westward to temperate areas where Mentha plants ultimately flourished. The production scale of these items has evolved to meet the needs of a growing consumer base. Over the last decade, the mint industry has developed more and more uses for the plant, sparking a lucrative industry whose outputs include commodities like hydrosols, salves, incense, candles and essential oils. In recent years, most of the industry’s essential oil production practices have changed in response to climate change. Condensers manufactured for steam distillation processes were once diesel-powered, but have since been converted to use cleaner fuels like propane and natural gas. Other than this change, the industry’s harvesting processes have remained largely unchanged since their development in the Pacific Northwest. Shane Johnson, Executive Director of the Washington Mint Commission, explained that the Mint Industry Research Council (MIRC)—a nationwide collective of mint manufacturers, buyers, growers and researchers— works constantly in all spheres of the industry to enhance the production and quality of the plant through scientific research. “They’ve been funding studies on pain management and alertness,” Johnson said. “Those are the kinds of things they’re looking at using mint products for.” The MIRC Spring 2019 newsletter showcases advancements in distillation practices. VSG Associates, a company based out of Boise, Idaho, proposed its innovative mint distillation technology to the MIRC but was turned down despite promising beta tests that yielded wetter, supervenient steam. The methodology developed by VSG Associates involves the trapping of energy that is lost in traditional distillation practices—mostly by eliminating steam headers, which are responsible for the loss of pressurized steam in boiler systems. Although Weigold’s request for funding was turned

down, Steve Salisbury, research and regulatory coordinator for the MIRC, said that he plans to oversee the tech’s further developments. “We don’t feel at this time that it is in our scope to look for a capital venture type of project,” Salisbury said in a MIRC newsletter. “If VSG can get this beta project off the ground, that could generate the need for some further distillation research and the MIRC may be interested in helping fund it.” Salisbury went on to say that VSG’s tech is promising and has the potential to reinvent traditional methods by allowing for a greater quantity of steam to be captured by condensers. As for the irrigation of both spearmint and peppermint, MIRC has improved spray application technology through testing completed in 2018. Through the use of low-elevation spray applications (LESA) and lowelevation precision applications (LEPA), fewer mint plants are destroyed during irrigation. Mid-elevation spray applications (MESA) have been considered less effective than LESA and LEPA because unlike MESA, low-elevation applications are able to pump up to 20 percent more water per gallon to the ground. Thus, preserving sustainability through the use of more effective spray applications decreases the amount of water lost as runoff. Results from the testing have shown that through the use of improved spray application technology, yields of spearmint and peppermint alike increased. The mint industry is on the verge of implementing tech that will revolutionize the way growers harvest and manufacture their products. According to the MIRC, VSG Associates have provoked the attention of companies in food processing, power generation and agricultural chemical application equipment. Canadian producer Dale Thacker explained that this innovative steam distillation technology has a solid scientific backing that will likely ensure future funding by the MIRC. “It generates steam in a fashion that traditionally we haven’t even considered… and it appears to have good science behind it.” Thacker said in the same MIRC newsletter. The implementation of VSG’s nuanced steam distillation methods would be a stunning breakthrough for the mint industry as a whole and have the potential to accelerate the already rapidly-evolving agricultural sustainability movement.

James Baratta is a sophomore Journalism major who buys mint by the bundle. They can be reached at jbaratta@ithaca.edu.

Hacked, Hijacked or

Lost at Sea?

How commercial aviation technology is preventing another MH370 // by James Baratta, Upfront Editor; art by Adam Dee, Art Editor

ive years ago, Malaysia Airlines flight 370 disappeared over the Indian Ocean carrying 239 people and undoubtedly became the most elusive mystery in the history of missing flights. Of the numerous theories surrounding the incident, none have established a concrete cause for the flight’s disappearance. Three countries—Malaysia, Australia and China— spent around $151 million searching over 441,000 miles of the Indian Ocean for MH370. Although this operation ended in January 2017, the Malaysian government-commissioned Ocean Infinity, an American seabed intelligence company, to continue the search until May 2018. Even with the company’s fleet of AUVs (Autonomous Underwater Vehicle), which can operate in water as deep as 6000 meters, the extended search had inconclusive results. The United Nations’ International Civil Aviation Organization (ICAO) convened in Montreal, Canada, and held a Multidisciplinary Meeting on Global Flight Tracking after MH370 vanished over the Indian Ocean. ICAO announced its guidelines for commercial aircraft in March 2016 and coined its three-point-plan the Global Aeronautical Distress and Safety System (GADSS). Aircraft Tracking, which became applicable to commercial aircraft across the globe in November 2018, is the first component of GADSS and mandated the installation of a satellite tracking system capable of pinging an airplane’s location every 15 minutes. This system is said to activate once a commercial flight enters oceanic airspace—which is any area over water 12 or more nautical miles from the border of a country—regardless of whether or not the plane is in distress. Although this is a requirement, the ICAO also recommends that operators update the location of their aircraft throughout the course of the flight, even over land. “You can see that the idea is to make sure that someone, somewhere knows where this aircraft is at least every 15 minutes,” Ian Knowles, Technical Officer of Operations with the ICAO, said during a livestream on Youtube in September of this year. The agency is also pushing for the implementation of Autonomous Distress Tracking (ADT), the second concept proposed in GADSS, by 2021. ADT will reduce pinging time from 15 minutes to every minute after an aircraft detects distress. According to Time, ADT is triggered by “turbulence, mechanical difficulties or an unexplained change in course, such as during a hijacking or if the crew became unconscious.” ICAO is a normative agency, which means they

are not involved in the implementation of standards for commercial aviation. In the United States, this responsibility falls onto the Department of Transportation and the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA). FLYHT Aerospace Solutions Ltd., an aeronautics company based out of Calgary, Canada, developed what they have coined an Automated Flight Information Reporting System (AFIRS) that has the same functionality as the ICAO’s ADT technology, but features an even faster 20-second ping. Tom Schmutz, CEO of the company, confirmed during their quarter 3 press conference on Nov. 27 that the $60,000 technology has been installed on 2,600 aircraft According to a FLYHT press release from Nov. 25, 2019, the company recently received an investment of almost $6.7 million to fund the development of new technology. If the FAA implements the ICAO’s guidelines as law, companies like FLYHT will continue to grow by providing the technology needed for commercial airlines to operate lawfully. FLYHT has minimal competition because of the company’s “heavily patented” technology. Despite the FLYHT’s many competitors—which include the FAA’s Next Generation Air Transportation System (NextGen)—in developing satellite communication and GPS tracking technologies, others are working to develop health monitoring systems for commercial aircraft. According to Transparency Market Research, some of these companies include Bombardier, Airbus, Ventura Aerospace, EADS, AIRMAN, Infosys, ASTYANAX and more. “So from the time that airline starts flying to the time that information is issued back… depending on the airline, that could be [anywhere from] three days [to] three weeks.” Schmutz told me over the phone. “FLYHT’s take is to change that information cycle into three seconds, so we monitor the aircraft in real-time.” What makes the health monitoring systems developed by FLYHT different from those of other companies is their immediate accessibility. Airplanes undergo an array of service checks throughout their lifetime. According to Forbes, A-checks occur every 500 flying hours — making this method of service the fastest out of those available. Although A-checks are “the least invasive,” they can take days to process. Charlie Schumacher has been an analyst at Gateway Investor Relations, an American strategic consulting company that “connects compelling companies with top institutional investors and analysts,” since 2018. Schumacher and colleague Matt Glover helped to organize the multi-million

dollar investment recently acquired by FLYHT. “Let’s say you discover that there’s an issue with the engine that needs to be addressed, but you’re planning to land somewhere where you don’t have the resources to be able to address it in that location,” Schumacher prompted. “FLYHT can tell you in real time if something’s going on— and if so—where to land the aircraft [and] how to address [the issue].” Although the proposed ICAO guidelines don’t cover health monitoring technologies on commercial flights, GADSS in its own right has the potential to decrease the margin of error that permitted the disappearance of MH370. Using the final, ill-fated journey of the missing flight as an example, we can analyze the functionality of the standards set forth by the ICAO and how they could change the future of aviation. The most widely believed theory surrounding MH370’s unsolved disappearance turns our attention to the 53-year-old pilot Zaharie Ahmad Shah. Experts and media outlets alike concluded that the only way MH370 could have crashed was purposefully, after any potential malfunctions of the aircraft were ruled out. Shah had a home flight simulator he recorded himself using and uploaded those videos online. He also frequently engaged in aviation and pilot forums. Coverage of the mystery alludes to Shah’s deteriorating mental state. While it still hasn’t been confirmed that the pilot was clinically depressed, many media outlets have attempted to justify the loneliness he experienced weeks before MH370 was wheels up. Shah was awaiting a divorce from his wife, who claimed he “‘retreated into a shell’ weeks before” the flight disappeared. One of Shah’s friends corroborated the family’s claims of the pilot’s growing isolation. “He’s one of the finest pilots around and I’m no medical expert, but with all that was happening in his life Zaharie was probably in no state of mind to be flying,” Shah’s unnamed friend told the New Zealand Herald. According to The Sun, Shah spent most of his time using a home flight simulator where he replicated the flight path executed by. A report released by the Ministry of Transport Malaysia confirmed that MH370’s flight path was remarkably similar to the one Shah rehearsed. To this day, no suicide note has been uncovered. The Sun also depicted the plane’s movement before it met its oceanic grave, claiming MH370 climbed to over 40,000 feet and maintained elevation long enough to starve its passengers of oxygen, which took approximately 15 minutes. As soon as the plane began to stray off course, ADT would have been able to detect that the plane was in distress. Thus, leaving it up to on-the-ground operators to act accordingly. Military radar only began tracking the flight 66 minutes after it diverted course. By the time military radar located MH370, it had already flown over 100 miles from its expected flight path. Malaysia Airlines began its search for the plane at 2:40 a.m.—79 minutes after ADT would have detected distress. The Atlantic wrote that “doppler data indicated a steep descent—as much as five times greater than a normal descent rate,” which means the plane was in nosedive for enough time that its impact with the surface of the ocean

likely caused it to “fracture instantly into a million pieces.” BBC reported that out of 20 pieces of debris found from MH370, “only a handful have been confirmed” to have come from the aircraft. On March 8, 2014, the world bore witness to the most devastating and mysterious tragedies in the history of aviation. To this day, the families of those who lost loved ones continue to lack a concrete answer as to why or how the plane fell off the face of the Earth. One can only hope that with the implementation of new standards and technology for commercial aviation, those who take to the skies will be a little bit safer soaring above the clouds in the enormous metal vessels we call planes.

James Baratta is a sophomore journalism major who claps when the plane lands. They can be reached at jbaratta@ithaca.edu.

MINISTRY OF COOL

Why the Clue Movie is Better than Citizen Kane

the audience in a way that the ‘80s blockbusters weren’t. If the classical Hollywood style is a genre historically associated with straight white male directors, camp is its subversive polar opposite. While the sexuality of Clue’s director is not clear, what is clear is that he is using the camp genre to expose the hypocrisy of American culture in the ‘80s. It’s clear that we aren’t writing this article without a bias; we both grew up on Clue and carried our love of it into adulthood. And now that we are both pursuing filmmaking, we understand that it had a profound influence on our cinematic style. We clung to Clue because it gave us something that other films did not: it was fun to watch, well-written, and politically prescient. Our obsession wasn’t random: it has endured because it is ahead of its time. And hey, having a scene where the characters make out with corpses while “Sh-Boom” by the Crew Cuts plays in the background does not hurt its case.

by Alex Coburn and Mateo Flores, MOC Editors; art by Guinevere Fullerton, Staff Artist 1985 marks the middle of former president Ronald Reagan’s two-term presidency in a decade when American masculinity and conservatism reigned supreme. It also marks the release date of the cult-classic ‘80s murder mystery film Clue, based on the popular Parker Brothers board game of the same name. These two facts are seemingly unrelated, but during a time when Top Gun and Risky Business ruled the box offices, a campy comedy featuring a gay main character, sexually liberated women and discussions of communism was a subversive stand against the money-guzzling blockbuster. While initially not well received or financially successful, the film shocked audiences with three different alternate endings, irreverent humor and an ensemble cast. It follows in the vein of Rocky Horror Picture Show, which premiered on film ten years earlier, and like its spiritual predecessor it should join the ranks of celebrated camp films that were ahead of its time. Taking the blueprint of the board game– the characters, the weapons, the setting and the set-up– the film diverges almost immediately from the source material with the insertion of Wadsworth, played by Tim Curry. Through a performance that only Curry could give, Wadsworth introduces us to the world of Clue. It’s 1954, we’re in New England and someone’s about to die. Into the mansion walk six strangers, all given pseudonyms– the astute Prof. Plum, the alluring Miss Scarlett, the suave Mr. Green, the secretive Ms. White, the bumbling Col. Mustard and the let-me-speak-to-your-manager-ness of Mrs. Peacock. None of them have ever met, but they’re all connected, and it’s when Mr. Boddy enters that the chaos begins. Wadsworth reveals that the reason why they’re there is to confront Mr. Boddy, the man who has been blackmailing all of them for the transgressions they’ve committed while attached to esteemed government jobs and positions. Wadsworth has already called the police and the group can now see justice come to fruition. Mr. Boddy has a trick up his sleeve however, six gifts for his blackmailed guests. A candlestick, a wrench, a leadpipe, a rope, a knife and of course, a gun. If Mr. Boddy is arrested, than the guests’ secrets will be revealed– if the group wants to get away with whatever they did, than Wadsworth must die. Confident that he’s going to get away with it, Mr. Boddy strolls with a kick in his step to the light switch, encouraging them to kill Wadsworth and then they can all walk away innocent in the eyes of the law. With the lights out, panic ensues and when Mrs. Peacock turns the lights back on, Mr. Boddy is on the floor– dead. And thus, the whodunit game commences... On the surface, Clue is a quirky whodunnit, but the political moment that this film came out during cannot be overlooked. The post-Vietnam defeat (or win, if you’re delusional enough) that ushered in the era of Reaganomics and nationalism mirrors the zeitgeist of the ‘50s that Clue evoked. The distrust between the characters and wild accusations of guilt not only mirror the Red Scare of the ‘50s but also the Red Scare redux of the ‘80s. And with the AIDS crisis looming over the United States, people were even more scared of their neighbors being gay than being communists. The ‘80s were defined by fear and secretism. There was a dangerous urge to alienate yourself from the other and an unwillingness to admit to anything that might make you the other. With each of the Clue characters obsessed with proving their innocence at the expense of everyone else, it’s not hard to see how this taps into the paranoia that ruled the American psyche in the ‘80s — a trickle down (ha ha) from the traditionalism of the ‘50s. Clue’s characters contain the majority of its intrinsically understated political themes. Clue or Cluedo, depending on where you played the boardgame, contains no political indication of anything– probably because it’s a board game for children. The film and its characters are wrapped in the Red Scare mentality that was typical of the ‘50s. Their backstories show the chaos of a post-WWII America, with Ms. White’s dead husband working on the nuclear bomb and Col. Mustard being implicated in it. The characters are so wrapped up in hiding their secrets that they’ll commit murder for it — and they do. Clue also discusses sexual politics in a way that was taboo at the time. Mr. Green’s only “crime” was his homosexuality, while Mrs. White’s husband was literally responsible for perpetuating the nuclear arms race. Mrs. Scarlett is blackmailed for running a brothel that several of the men in the room patronize. Not only this, but Ms. White’s dead husband also slept with one of Miss Scarlett’s escorts, the maid of the mansion Yvette. Clue acknowledges the fallacies of criminalizing non-heteronormative sexual practices through these characters. The power of camp is that it can address these things without being preachy or pedantic. Clue works because for all of its valid political points, it is also invested in delivering them in a hilarious, over-the-top, aesthetically interesting package. Camp has also been a genre historically utilized by marginalized people because it is the opposite of the classical Hollywood style: all of the seams are visible, and it’s not afraid to look like a movie or diverge from narrative verisimilitude. It’s winking at

IsPaulReally

Dead?

How the cute Beatle became the dead Beatle // by Brennan Carney, Contributing Writer; art by Adam Dee, Art Editor

n November 1966, Sir Paul McCartney died. His car crashed, leaving the Beatles decapitated. In the midst of chaos, the legendary Beatles bass player was replaced with look-alike Billy Shears. Shears, born into an underprivileged family, was the winner of a McCartney look-alike contest. The transition was impeccable; Shears looked, talked and sang just like McCartney. The remaining Beatles could not deal with the guilt of lying to their oh-so-dedicated fans, so they began dropping hints. This is the basis of the “Paul is Dead” conspiracy theory, whose clues include everything from photo evidence to hidden messages in songs. Said clues began being dropped in on Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. Not only does the album include the name Billy Shears, but its album cover also features the band’s heroes attending the funeral of McCartney. The band members, dressed in all black, look down upon the fresh flowers and dirt in the foreground... but these clues are just the start. On Sgt. Pepper’s vinyl album cover, all three living Beatles are seen facing the viewer, whereas McCartney is the only one facing backward. These types of odd things have been interpreted as The Beatles trying to drop subtle hints about the new replacement. Several songs include lyrical messages that have been taken as references to Macca’s death, including the album Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. On “A Day in the Life,” Lennon sings “He blew his mind out in a car/ He didn’t notice that the lights had changed/ A crowd of people stood and stare/ They’d seen his face before.” Here, Lennon alludes to the car accident that killed Mccartney. On the Magical Mystery Tour album from 1967, you can hear John Lennon say words that sound like “I buried Paul” if you slow down the final section of the song “Strawberry Field Forever.” Off of the same album, “I am the Walrus,” is a relatively nonsensical song that is known as such. However, rumors circulated that the titular Walrus is a symbol of death and that if the Walrus is Paul, as suggested in the song “Glass Onion” from the White Album, then the song alludes to his mysterious death. In addition, there is an excerpt from a live performance of Shakespeare’s King Lear at the end of “I am the Walrus” where a character cries out “O, untimely death!” The clues are not just in the regular lyrics themselves. The Beatles became famous for the idea of backmasking in songs. Backmasking is a deliberate process where audio is recorded, sometimes a message, and then cut and pasted into a song backwards. Therefore, you can only hear the clip if the audio is played in reverse. Backmasking was found on several Beatles tracks and theorists found hidden messages in the audio. This technique was used several times on the White Album. For example, “Revolution 9” included messages like “Turn me on, dead man” and “He’s dead, nobody knows.” People have also shared that parts of the song sound like a car crash, referencing the tragic car accident that killed McCartney in 1966. From the same album, “I’m So Tired” also got lots of attention when listeners heard the backwards version with the lyrics “Paul is a dead man, miss him, miss him.” The biggest clues came from The Beatles’ album Abbey Road. The album cover appears to be the four band members crossing the now-famous Abbey Road in London, England. Upon further examination, several things are hidden within the cover. For one, all of The Beatles, except McCartney, are walking with their left leg out first. In addition, McCartney is holding a cigarette in his right hand, despite being left-handed. Then comes the interpretation of The Beatles that created the backbone for the “Paul is Dead” theory. This album cover is not simply the band crossing a road; it is a funeral procession. The angel or preacher comes first, followed by the undertaker, then the corpse and finally the gravedigger. Lennon leads the group in celestial all white, like an angel or god. Ringo, dressed in all black, is the undertaker. McCartney follows as the one who died; he is wearing a nice suit but no shoes, as they are unnecessary in death. In a full denim outfit, Harrison is the gravedigger (perhaps also an allusion to him always doing the grunt work of the band). The funeral procession idea is one that swayed more to believe something suspicious was going on with the world’s favorite band. Perhaps, if Billy Shears was right-handed, it would make sense that he was holding the cigarette in that hand. Finally, by taking a close look at the background of Abbey Road, you can see a Volkswagen Beetle with the license plate “20IF.” If you do the math, you discover that Paul McCartney would have been 28 at the time of the album being released IF he was not killed in the car crash. The “Paul is Dead” theory is often considered a sort of branch to the chaos of Beatlemania. But why did such a theory gain so much recognition? With 73 million viewers watching their first TV performance, fame seemed to be a possible factor.

For example, when The Beatles did split up, many blamed Yoko Ono, wife of John Lennon. Though fellow band members had stated that they disliked how intrusive she was with the band, there was no reason to jump to that conclusion. Yoko was generally disliked by hardcore Beatles fans, whose hatred was often attributed to jeaolousy. Their insanely large fan group held a lot of power; certainly enough to shed some bad light on Lennon’s love. Though not the first person to investigate the “Paul is Dead” theory, Tim Harper was one that fanned the flame. In 1969, Harper, an editor at his college newspaper in Iowa, published an article that took a deep look into the clues. In later years, Harper told one publication “A lot of us, because of Vietnam and the so-called ‘Establishment’ were ready, willing and able to believe just about any sort of conspiracy.” Interestingly enough, The Beatles theory was believed by more in America than in the U.K. People today suspect that the conspiracy theories about the Beatles also happened to come at a time in history where paranoia and skepticism ran rampant. Events like the Vietnam War, President Johnson, JFK and MLK assassinations and the Manson murders all lead Americans into the Golden Age of Paranoia. This created the perfect storm of a society that allowed conspiracy theories to seep through into society. People were feeling uneasy and scared, especially of those who held a lot of power. In this case, The Beatles were the target. While Beatlemania left the band with many devoted followers, people were suspicious of a group that could attract so much attention. John Lennon once went so far as to say “We’re more popular than Jesus now. I don’t know which will go first – rock & roll or Christianity.” When the quote was published in a British article, there was no controversy associated with it. But, when the article was reprinted in America, it blew up and threatened the band’s reputation. The anxiety within the country caused for everyone to be extra cautious. The Beatles have ended up being more than just a band. They have provided insight into what the world was like and how that contributed to making them known by many as the best rock band ever. Such a massive, international obsession with four people can turn toxic quickly. In response to the Paul is Dead conspiracy, McCartney told Life magazine that “Perhaps the rumor started because I haven’t been much in the press lately. I have done enough press for a lifetime, and I don’t have anything to say these days.” The obsession with The Beatles is something that is perhaps unmatched by any other to this day.

Brennan Carney is a second-year Journalism major who fell asleep in seventh grade while listening to “Revolution 9” backwards. You can reach them at bcarney2@ithaca.edu.

RAW SAW FROM THE

Hot Pink - Doja Cat By Brianna Diaz, Contributing Writer

After her 2018 hit single MOOO! went viral online, hip hop artist Doja Cat rode the hype to her debut studio album Amala. The follow-up album Hot Pink is a new high for her musical career. “Won’t Bite (ft. Smino),” “Bottom Bitch,” “Talk Dirty,” “Streets,” and a version of “Juicy” featuring Tyga are clear standouts of the album. These tracks are linked by catchy lyrics that connect Doja Cat’s words to pop culture references from various forms of media while also showcasing the odd yet extraordinary features of Smino, Gucci Mane and Tyga. Some standout lyrics include: “On a boat like I’m Noah / On Xan like I’m Noah,” from “Bottom Bitch.” “Now, when you talk like that (When you talk to me), I be in my bag / I be in my bag, now, baby, I’m all in my bag (When you talk dirty back)” (Talk Dirty), and “We play our fantasies out in real life ways and / No Final Fantasy, can we end these games though?” (Streets). As seen from her livestreams on Instagram, she makes, writes and produces her own music. Even though Hot Pink has sexual themes, that’s Doja Cat’s now signature theme. She produces a distinct sound that many other artists don’t do today. The same applies to her previous 2018 album, Amala. With Doja’s album being overtly sexual, they seem to call back to old and new successful hip-hop artists such as Lil Kim, Nicki Minaj and Queen Latifah, among others. With that being said, Doja clearly seems to be influenced by Erykah Badu, Pharrell, Jamiroquai, PartyNextDoor and Drake as well. Doja mentioned that despite her obvious influences on Hot Pink, she’s finding more of herself. According to an article from FADER, she stated: “With my first album, it was a little bit like I was practicing […] It’s like, you know the first time you do anything, you kind of have to figure out who you are? I feel like with this second project I know who I am and I know what I want and I know what I want it to sound like. I’m really proud of this.” Doja also stated to Exclaim, the reason why she gave the exceptional album its name is that: “...I wanted people to feel that before they got into the music that it felt passionate, warm and welcoming […] I think that the color hot pink describes those things the most. It’s my favourite colour and has been for my whole life so for my second project where I’ve found myself and I’m more refined, I felt that this title was the best choice.” Just as she said in her interviews with FADER and Exclaim, I do believe that Hot Pink is an upgrade to Doja’s growing musical career. Each song on the album contains a different kind of sound and vibe. One song is catchy and upbeat with discussions of sex, while another song is auto-tuned and contains a sad message. Hot Pink overall is the kind of album you can vibe to, dance to and, of course, simply listen to.

“Lights Up” & “Watermelon Sugar” By Julia Batista, Web and Social Media Editor

After the release of Harry Styles’ self-titled debut solo album, Harry Styles, the artist has reemerged into the music scene with his single, “Lights Up,” which was released on October 11, National Coming Out Day. Besides the potentially symbolic meaning of the title referring to his musical reappearance since his last album, “Lights Up” has fans wondering whether or not the song alludes to his own coming out as bisexual. Other than being released on National Coming Out Day, the lyrics, “step into the light… lights up and they know who you are… I’m not ever going back”, support this theory. The lyrics repeat throughout the single until they reach a crescendo. The drop-off of sounds besides the simple keys of a piano before the chorus is followed by a burst from the backup choir, elevating Styles’ voice with soulful and reinvigorating energy. Since the single’s long awaited release since his last album, Harry Styles, “Lights Up” resonates with an explosion of energy and an uplifting type of expression in direct comparison to his somber single, “Sweet Creature.” Before its anticipated release, Styles decided to release yet another single from his album Fine Line. “Watermelon Sugar” carries just about the same energy that “Lights Up” does except that it creates its own environment that makes the listener yearn for a sweet summer day. The lyrics, “I don’t know if I could ever go without… baby, you’re the end of June, I want your belly and that summer feeling, getting washed away in you”, illustrate Styles’ desire for someone who equates to the sweetness and delightfulness of a fruit, contributing to the rejuvenating vibe of the song. The repetitiveness of the chorus and the echo of “watermelon sugar high, I just wanna taste it” really drives home the uplifting energy of the single as well. The components of both “Lights Up” and “Watermelon Sugar” essentially match, as they both lack the lyricism that Styles repeats throughout both songs which increases to a climax. The singles exhibit a spirit that Harry Styles lacked, his 2017 album mostly demonstrating new sounds such as its attempts within the realm of rock such as in his songs, “Only Angel” and “Kiwi.” Since his separation from One Direction, Harry Styles gave fans another taste of music style that hadn’t been illustrated before by either Styles or the band. Especially from Harry Styles, songs such as “Meet Me in the Hallway” and “From the Dining Hall” serve as stark contrasts to “Lights Up and “Watermelon Sugar”. On November 4, Styles himself tweeted the release date and album art for his sophomore album. The fish-eyed photo style of the art with Styles posing as if caught in a dance most accurately represents what to expect from the album, as both “Watermelon Sugar” and “Lights Up” generate a need to dance and belt the lyrics at the top of your lungs. Hopefully when Fine Line releases, this kind of energy is consistent throughout the album, although it would be nice for a little deviation from the repetitiveness and crescendo of sound found within the first two singles.

The End of F***ing World - Season 2 By Sara Borsari, Contributing Writer; art by Caitlin Breslin, Staff Artist

Coming off a season one cliffhanger that has had fans on the edge of their seats for two years, The End of the F***ing World has returned with its signature characters and soundtrack, as well as its witty writing and editing style. Due to the miniseries-esque nature of the first season, as well as the full development of its source material, many fans were skeptical that a season two would ever come. The new season occurs two years after the events of season one and showcases all that has been happening in the lives of the characters since we last saw them. Alyssa has moved away and gotten engaged, while James has recovered from his injuries and lost his father. Joining the group this season, we are also introduced to Bonnie, an ex-convict with a vendetta against the two main characters. This season, while still employing the same style and themes of the first, has branched off a great deal from the original tone. Season two has opted for a much slower pace, trading in rapid plot points and high action for emphasized emotion and character arcs. While some have argued this new pace is boring, it feels like the show has finally honed in on what made it so great in the first place: its characters and their interactions. This emphasis on characters can be seen in the introduction and development of Bonnie (Naomi Ackie). Her acting specifically stood out as one of the stronger performances of the season, as she portrays a character who is manipulative, damaged and genuinely scary in many scenes. Bonnie’s character, in general, is another strong point for the season, as the first episode is completely dedicated to her backstory, while not dwelling on it to the point that you lose interest. Her character also serves as a major source of tension in the season, as often the audience is aware of what she is plotting while the main characters aren’t, similar to James’ role in the first season. Another notable part of season two is the development of James’ and Alyssa’s relationship. After the events of the last two years, the two have almost completely switched sides—James now has more emotions than he knows what to do with, and Alyssa is sad and devoid of feelings. Watching the dynamic switch completely makes the investment in the characters more real, and creates an environment where you only wish the main characters can find a way to be happy together. The comedy also lands well as it did in the last season, and the spinning of the typical story of “tragic young lovers” makes the story more compelling and striking. However, this season does have some problems with pacing, as the episodes take place over a span of three days, with episodes like Bonnie’s introduction moving very quickly, and the rest of the season moving slowly. However, this aspect is more forgivable as the length of the whole season is about the same as the length of a film. This season also encounters some trouble with its plot, as often it feels like the characters are running in circles. There is only one villain in the series who is the cause of most of the conflict, which makes the episodes feel a bit re-hashed. This is also due to the on-again-off-again nature of James and Alyssa’s relationship, which feels tired by the middle of the season. As of now, Netflix and the creators of the show have not released any news regarding a potential third season. While season two did end on a final note, there is still much to be explored about these characters and their lives, and it would be interesting to watch them grow more. However, if season two is revealed to be the official end, the show left off on a great note.

Cancel Me By Your Name

How fictional pedophilia perpetuates real-life rape culture // by Bridget Hagen, Contributing Writer

17-year-old boy falls in love with a man seven years older than him in Call Me By Your Name, the novel-turnedfilm by André Aciman. Despite the criticism the author faced for the age gap depicted in his book, the story ultimately attained critical acclaim. The movie, based on Aciman’s work, was nominated for four Academy Awards. The success of the film effectively halted the discussion about its controversial relationship; concerns about the age gap became mere footnotes in our cultural memory. Aciman, riding on new recognition and fame, continued to write and enjoy respect within the literary community. Then, in an interview from June with the Spanish news outlet eCartelera, Aciman said the following: “The other day, talking with a friend, I told him, ‘I see 12-year-old girls and I already find them attractive,’ and he told me, ‘Me too, but you can’t talk about it.’ And I replied, ‘No, never.’ Because if you talk about it, you’re almost guilty of it. I do not commit the act, but you have no idea of the scabrous and disgusting ideas that come to our minds.” Aciman’s language rationalizes sexual attraction to young girls. When he mentions the ideas that come to “our minds,” he seems to refer not only to himself and his friend but to men broadly. Aciman knows he is not alone in this experience. He expresses no issue with the thoughts as long as actions do not follow them. Aciman refutes the idea that he is guilty of anything because he keeps his actions under control. However, the normalization of pedophilia has real impacts for children, especially girls and women. Plenty of men do act on their thoughts, and comments like Aciman’s only serve to empower them. It’s a bigger issue than the author recognizes: a Cornell University study from 2015 found that 85% of American women experienced street harassment before they turned 17. The perpetrators apparently agree with Aciman that their attraction to underage girls is okay. While Aciman complains about not being able to discuss his feelings publicly, he fails to realize the larger implications of his words. His platform gives him the ability to influence many people. His fans may internalize his assertion that these thoughts are perfectly normal and acceptable. Aciman’s trusting readers may take his words as proof that their own pedophilic thoughts are not a problem, or survivors of sexual trauma might interpret his statement as evidence that they are somehow at fault for what happened to them. This perpetuates the predatory culture that subjects girls to sexual harassment before they are even done with puberty. This interview was the first time Aciman said anything overtly pedophilic, but his recent comments call to mind the past controversy surrounding the romanticization of Elio and Oliver’s relationship in Call Me By Your Name. The uproar over the age gap between the two main characters did not stop the book and movie from achieving

success, but perhaps the story raised red flags. The idea that a fictional story, however troublesome, is harmless, is similar to Aciman’s suggestion that pedophilic thoughts are permissible. Aciman portrays the relationship in Call Me By Your Name in a positive light, thus romanticizing age gaps. If the author had described the process of an older man grooming a teenager, the plot would not have been so problematic. His audience would have put the book down with the message that what the older character did was manipulative and wrong. Instead, fans justified and endorsed the romance just like Aciman. Overtly promoting deviant ideas affects our culture in very real and dangerous ways. The sequel to Call Me By Your Name, Find Me, came out in October, four months after Aciman’s statement about his attraction to 12-year-old girls. Mainstream media organizations, including The New Yorker, The New York Times and The Guardian, reviewed the book. None mention the author’s comments to eCartelera. Despite recent media attention on sexual assault and the #MeToo movement, the handling of Aciman’s comments proves that rape culture persists. Aciman has not been sufficiently held accountable for what he said. His fears that our so-called “cancel culture” would derail his career did not come to fruition. Instead of reporting on this incident, the mainstream media continues to publicize his work, thereby helping him advance his career. Our culture does not always “cancel” people who do wrong—in fact, men often get away with serious infractions. The 2016 presidential election revealed just how prevalent rape culture remains. Just weeks before election day, a tape from Access Hollywood came out of Donald Trump saying, “When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything… grab them by the pussy.” His comments were met with swift backlash from both sides of the political spectrum, but in the end, his supporters were apparently undeterred. Trump admitted to using his status to sexually assault and intimidate women, and he became the most powerful person in the country. The future president explained it away, dismissing it as “locker room banter.” His justification echoes Aciman’s. He normalizes disrespect for women by suggesting that many men speak that way behind closed doors, similar to how Aciman alluded to the “scabrous and disgusting ideas that come to our minds.” The basis of both men’s arguments is the same: they’re just words! Neither Trump nor Aciman were ever punished for their words. In fact, they were practically rewarded: Trump became president, and Aciman retained the respect of major media outlets. Predatory men complain that “cancel culture” unfairly harms their careers, but our culture is actually forgiving. When we dismiss comments like these as harmless words, we contribute to a culture that places powerful men’s careers above the safety of women and children.

Bridget Hagen is a second-year Journalism major who wants men to stop getting away with saying this shit. You can reach them at bhagen@ithaca.edu.

The

From Ted Bundy movies to Richard Ramirez fan accounts, our obsession with killers has become a lifestyle // by William Porter, Contributing Writer

True Crime Community I

had just binged the TV show Lost on Netflix when I inevitably came across that feeling of emptiness you get after finishing a show you were so immersed in. I had thought at the time no other TV show could captivate me as that one had, until I gave Criminal Minds a chance. Although this show does not focus on “true crime,” it was my gateway into what would become an obsession with killers and how they think and operate. It wasn’t until later that I gathered such an interest in true crime stories. True crime media is where the author gives a detailed account about a crime and the real people involved in that crime. These range in format from books to movies, and from podcasts to TV shows, all offering different takes on the stories and events of heinous crimes. In recent years true crime media has blown up, gathering a cult following. Why are we so fascinated with learning about killers? People enjoy being scared in a controlled environment. In other words, people like the adrenaline rush of not knowing what is coming next, whether that be who is killed next or if the perpetrator is going to be caught. There is something enjoyable about watching a story where things are unclear and no one is safe. Psychologist Dr. Meg Arroll said “true crime stories allows us to explore the darker side of nature in a safe way.” There is something entertaining about cuddling up on a cold day and watching something that gets our hearts racing, skin crawling and mind churning. Professor of criminology at Drew University Scott Bonn said in his book that true crime “triggers the most basic and powerful emotion in all of us– fear,” and he’s right. Being able to be scared in a controlled environment is oddly entertaining. We cannot fathom the actions we are watching, which adds a sense of the mystical and unreal to the story that in fact is real. There are different forms of true crime media; in some the killer is known to us and the events we follow could be how the police went about the capture, or how the known killer avoided being caught for so long. Others are more a mystery, where the killer is unknown and we are left guessing with the police over whodunit. Each are entertaining in their own way; however, the slow burn of a mystery might be more appealing to audiences. Being able to slowly piece together a story activates our inner detective and keeps us more engaged. True crime media has taken off in the past decade because of streaming sites. One example is The Ted Bundy Tapes on Netflix, a documentary series that follows the story of Ted Bundy and actual conversations he had on death row. This was a captivating series that dealt with the inner thoughts of such a composed criminal. Another interesting example is a new true crime podcast Radio Rental, with star Rainn Wilson from The Office. This podcast takes the everyday person’s real stories of crime and has that person tell the story themselves. It is an interesting concept that is both creepy and, at times, elating. True crime in the current day has gathered a huge following that allows audiences to get an adrenaline rush while figuring out some of the greatest mysteries of all time. Buzzfeed Unsolved is a documentary series based around this concept of unsolved cases. It has 48 episodes that span across five seasons. The show has massive popularity with fans, and 96 percent of google users like the show. People enjoy playing armchair detective; we like piecing together mysteries and being spooked by the unknown. There is a reason Netflix has invested so much money into their true crime documentary series. Within the same year Netflix released a documentary series and a feature length film, both on Ted Bundy. That’s not all either, as there are countless documentary series and movies based upon real life crimes and investigations that have gotten a big budget treatment. I think part of us enjoy watching these unbelievable true stories because it is so hard to imagine them actually happening.

William Porter is a second-year Exploratory major who stays up all night on the Ed Gein Wikipedia page. You can reach them at wporter@ithaca.edu.

buzzbye It feels very weird to be writing my Buzzsaw farewell. I joined Buzzsaw when I was 18, and now I am 21 and moving to New York City in less than a month. I remember watching this transition happen to old Buzzedz—the impending doom of “real adulthood.” I’d rather stay in the Buzzcave with its cursed microwave and closet of random Old Spice products, but alas. I’m pretty sure if I tried I would get asbestos poisoning. Joining Buzzsaw was a decision I made before I even stepped foot on campus. The gritty zine style stood out to me as the epitome of cool. And even though our design has changed and become more sleek and polished, I think the middlefinger-to-the-establishment spirit remains. That’s probably why I was initially so afraid of all the senior Buzzedz. As a wee freshman, I thought they were the coolest people in the world. I could never be as funny or interesting as them. As the years passed and I became an editor myself the fall of my sophomore year, I suddenly found myself in their position—just nowhere near as funny or interesting. I mean, I keep a list of hilarious quotes in the Notes app on my phone, and almost all of them can be attributed to the Buzzedz of years past. I want to be you all when I grow up. To the Buzzedz I am leaving behind: God, I have no idea how you took Buzzsaw from a ragtag group of endearing misanthropes to a well-organized, journalism machine. We went from staying in the cave every Sunday until 2 a.m. (or even 5 a.m. #NeverForget) to getting out before 9 p.m. almost every production cycle. You’re the reason I’m going to stop talking shit about Gen Z, because dammit, you all know how to run things. Please allow me to be sentimental for just a moment when I say that I met most of the best people through Buzzsaw. Being a freshman Buzzsaw writer during the 2016 election of Trump was tumultuous and scary, and I felt much less alone knowing all of the older Buzzedz were just as afraid as I was. If the duty of youth is to challenge corruption, I think Buzzsaw is surely doing that. I hope you all continue to hold those in power accountable and never back down from printing the truth — whether it’s for an Upfront piece about global warming or an MOC review about a film. Buzzsaw is a publication that celebrates the underdog, and its success and growth shows that sometimes, the underdog wins. And lastly to my co-MOC editor Mateo: please don’t stop sending me TikToks. You have single-handedly convinced me that they are not all inherently evil, even if they’re being used to sell our data to the Chinese government.

alex coburn, moc editor

PROSE AND CONS

Escape

by Gabrielle Topping

The glorious world of social media was able to distract Amber long enough, to completely steal all of her attention. Her hazel eyes were glued to the screen of her new cellphone, unaware that she had exited the safety of the glowing neon letters of the store. The sound of car horns booming like thunder awakens Amber from her fantasy, as she finds herself blinded by the headlights of the vehicles instantaneously approaching. Amber’s sneakers are suddenly glued to the pavement like gum clinging to one’s hair. The driver detects the girl in his path, slamming on the brakes with great force. The car haltingly barreled toward her as she frantically scurried away, seconds before becoming roadkill.   Relieved that she has escaped death, her thumbs begin tapping wildly at her cell phone screen, informing everyone of her hectic day. Amber’s crisp white sneakers barely skimmed the surface of the rugged curb, as elongated arms wrapped around her tiny waist, swiftly pulling her into the ghastly van. Rough, icy hands gripped her jaw, as her head violently shook, but unwelcoming fingers shielded her screams. Her cellphone hit the ground with a ‘thunk,’ flashing, “Be careful.” Devious fingertips slithered around Amber’s wrists, inspecting her ivory skin, like a boa constrictor before it devours its prey. Brief compressions, tightening the ropes bound to her slender ankles. Tacky tape pressed against her lips, threatening against a bitter altercation. The tires skidding on uneven terrain, jerks her torso repetitively. A thick strip of fabric secured behind her head, conceals Amber’s eyes from the interior of the van, casting a pitch-black shadow.  The captor appears to be a lone man,. Amber can hear the low mumbling of his raspy voice behind the steering wheel. Her body jerks to the left after a brief pause at a red light. Extending her fingers to the opposite wrists behind her back, she begins to fidget soundlessly with the ropes, until they become loose.   A piercing ringtone sounds and the captor groans in response before taking the call. “Where are you?” the voice of a woman screeching through the speakers, “I’ve been waiting for over an hour!” Nervously the captor replies, “I ran into a small snag…” While her captor was distracted, Amber carefully untangles her ankles. “What kind of a snag?” his wife screams, her voice like daggers piercing through his soul. Amber, lifts the cloth covering her eyes up an inch and peers through the window. The captor is steaming with frustration, “It’s not my fault, why does it always have to be my fault?” With echoing words his wife replies, “Because you can never do anything right!” Simultaneously, Amber springs forward at the sliding door, propelling her body from the van. Tumbling down the edge of the highway, her jeans rip at the knees, blood oozing from her wounds. Amber tugs the fabric that once covered her eyes and wraps it around her leg to stop the bleeding. She shoots up and darts into the forest.  The captor now realizing that his hostage has escaped, angrily smashes his cellphone with his thumb to dismiss the phone call and aggressively pulls over on the side of the highway. He hops out of the van onto the dried grass, with the moon as his only source of light. Dressed in all black, the captor blends into the night. Amber’s heart is beating, adrenaline pumping through her veins as she anxiously formulates a plan. She emerges into the darkness of the forest, thousands of trees shading the land before her. Twigs snapping beneath her feet with each stride, as she heads to the calming sounds of running water. Peeking over her shoulder, Amber detects the captor chasing behind her. She scooped down, fisting a handful of sizable branches and chucked them at his malevolent face, causing him to stumble backward. Without hesitation, Amber sprinted toward the cable bridge.  She peered down at the rushing water and colossal boulders deposited beneath the cable bridge. A single roped line to walk upon and two parallel ropes above for her hands to grip. Falling was not an option. Positioning one soiled sneaker in front of the other, Amber cautiously crossed the bridge and reached the opposing edge of the forest, stumbling onto the tranquil terrain.  A pearly white SUV with three women inside slowed down along the highway. The captor not far behind with his wicked smile, yanked out a polished pocket-knife from his waistband. The woman with concerned blue eyes in the backseat uttered, “Hurry, get in, he’s coming…” Amber spotted the woman’s purse shoved underneath the front seat. The woman seated on the passenger side rapidly dialed 9-1-1. Amber took a chance and leaped into the car. The side door was still open as the driver sped away, leaving the captor to cough up dust.

Aurora

trigger warning: kidnapping

by Dariene Seifert

For Ari

We lay down in the trunk so other cars’ headlights don’t catch us, acting a little rebellious, despite the party being only a couple of minutes away. While our seated friends were enraptured in conversation, we were in our own iridescent bubble. As the car drove down the bumpy road, we embraced each other, so neither of us would collide our head on the wheel well. I remember looking out the rear window, and seeing the stars scattered across the somber sky. Immersing myself in their quiet spectacle, I wondered: Did a goddess lose her pearls? Were jellyfish traveling across the murky ocean? Then you laughed, my entrancement focused on you, and the same luminous light was in your eyes.

Like a rubber ball, I’ll come bouncing back to you

by Alex Coburn

I stole every book you let me borrow. I’m sorry, but you will not be getting them back. After all, I already accidentally ripped the cover off of A Moveable Feast. And I sold your copy of Ulysses to the campus bookstore. I think the theft evens out since you stole my adolescence. If you want to try and make it up to me, you can send me a check if you’d like. It won’t make up for the time you called me “honey” in front of the whole class, or the time you gave me 100 points on an assignment I didn’t even do properly. That was very irresponsible. It wasn’t like you were movie-star hot or anything. But when you’re a high school senior, no one is more attractive than someone who indoctrinates you. I would have been the perfect Manson girl. You dressed like free love was still free and told me, “I don’t put much stock in astrology, but Hamlet was a Virgo.” You asked me if I believed in psychoanalysis. I told you, “No, I get along well with my father.” My friends often listen to me recount stories about you. They ask me, “How do you know he felt the way you thought he did?” As if they’re the jury, and you’re the plaintiff, and I — hysterical and feral, but attractively so, of course — am on the stand in cuffs. Because young women must always be beautiful, even when their lives are being torn apart. If we were in court and your lawyer asked how I know you loved me, I wouldn’t reveal the illicit rendezvous’ or the late-night correspondences. I wouldn’t even tell them about how you bought me a gift when I turned eighteen. The only evidence that matters is this: I was seventeen. It was Olivia’s birthday. We were celebrating at a restaurant downtown that I could hardly afford to enter. I wore that floral, strapless black dress with the whale boning in the bodice and a full tulle skirt. I debated taking it off, worrying it was too fancy, but I distinctly remember thinking, “What if he’s there?” There was no reason for you to be at that restaurant. But all things seem like signs when you’re in love. During dinner, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. While descending the perfectly cinematic sweeping staircase, I ran into you. You stopped and looked up at me, and suddenly I believed in telekinesis. I summoned you. I was a good witch, and I had powers. But even good witches get burned at the stake. You hadn’t taken a love potion, but from that glance I felt it: You were smitten with me. I could have melted into the stairs beneath your gaze, oozing down each step in a drippy puddle of teenage fantasy. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, it was THEN I knew!” I knew that you did not owe me an answer, that I would not get the Annie Hall ending I felt I deserved. The court reporters type furiously. You roll your eyes at my childish hallucinations. The crowd shrieks and begs for my crucifixion. Your new wife and son sit milk-white and silent. The officer carries me off as I snap my jaws like a rabid dog, kicking and scratching and clawing back, back, back to you.

T S U D W A S

An Open Letter to Mystery Incorporated

GameStop Backroom Now Takes

Gently Used Organs And Plasma

Fred lives in fear of what else the daog will take from him Dear Mystery Gang, I am writing this letter from the cafe on the corner that doesn’t allow pets, because I fear my apartment isn’t safe anymore. Do you all remember when the gang first formed? It was just the four of us. Taking down bad guys and uncovering crooks, we were unstoppable! I think about that time a lot, the days when I used to shine and lead this group to victory with my charm, wit, and unnecessarily complicated traps. Shaggy, remember when we used to be the boys? We would spend a long day solving mysteries and then an even longer night bro-ing out with a couple brewskies and my PS4? Now you won’t even come over unless I have Scooby Snacks. I just sit in my empty apartment and watch all the stupid Snapchat stories of you and Scooby eating large sandwiches together. Speaking of Scooby Snacks, does nobody else care that I’m allergic to them? I have to keep one in my pocket at all times just in case I say something wrong and Scooby catches wind of it; I only have 2 pockets, and keeping my EpiPen right next to it has proved pretty problematic. Still, you guys just keep tossing snacks at him left and right as I go into anaphylactic shock. Also Daphne, have you not noticed the way he looks at you? I know we’ve been going steady for a while now, but you’ve turned down my last few dates. Then I find out the two of you went to the movies last week? Plus he met your parents? I mean he’s a dog! He walks on four legs, eats food from a can, and poops in the yard. Is that really what you’re into? You’re going to leave me for a guy who can’t pronounce the word “thanks”? Plus whenever he comes after me, you all just sit there! I have been wearing my ascot for the last 50 years, but now, all of a sudden, it clashes with his collar? He told me next time I showed up with it on, he’d use it to “rangle” me and you all laughed! He also changed my catchphrase. You all get to keep “Jinkies” and “Zoinks,” but now mine is “It looks like we’ve got another mystery on our paws.” And he told me it doesn’t make sense to say the catchphrase anymore so he should just take over. I wish I could say he stopped at my work life, but no. He found out my mother’s maiden name at her funeral last month, and suddenly I’m $10,000 in debt from buying Scooby Snacks in bulk! My Instagram was hacked into last month, and I apparently trolled Obama about his voice until he cried on a livestream. He hacked my Linkedin and changed my skills to “looking like a shithead” and “being murdered by a dog,” which makes me fear what he’s planning on a whole new level. Plus he felt the need to emphasize my criminal charges. For the hundredth time, I didn’t do it! I think we all know who planted my ascot at the scene of the crime. I was not the Cardboard Caper. I don’t even use cardboard for my traps. No, Scooby isn’t this innocent dog you all think he is! I spent two weeks in jail for that crime and now I have to take a second job because nobody wants me investigating their mysteries! Who is going to want to read my future crime novel series when it’s written by an ex-criminal? Maybe Reddit users, but that’s it! Fine, think what you’re going to think, but I’m not going to let some mutt take over my life and kick me out of this group. How can you not see that I’m the good guy here? You let that stupid dog take over your minds and dictate your lives and do nothing about it! You’re all a bunch of sheep; he’s the sheep...dog! Mystery, Inc is cancelled. Hope you have fun being ‘rystery rink’ because I’m out of here!

Sincerely, Fred

GameStop Stresses That They Are Not a Substitute for the Black Market // by Sarah Moon, Staff Writer

he local Ithaca GameStop has announced that in addition to video games and other electronic devices, it is now accepting gently used organs and plasma. The new policy change comes shortly after Cayuga Medical reportedly ran out of blood during the multiple hospitalizations that occurred after the “Run with Scissors” 5K. When I interviewed GameStop manager Vladimir “Vlad” Johnson about the change, he said in a thick accent, “We realize that people have lots of things besides video game consoles and games just lying around that could be put to better use. I think the good people of Ithaca could make good use of organs at an affordable price.” I was curious about what the retail value of these organs was and how it compared to the other goods GameStop buys back and resells. I asked Vlad if I could exchange a Legend of Zelda or Mario Kart video game for a new lung for my grandma. Vlad was very confident in his response: “New lung? No, definitely not. Maybe for a few bags of O+ or even a kidney if the game was in good condition.” On a sign at the register, GameStop defines “gently used” as, “can’t have been removed from the body more than two weeks before donating.” Vlad also assured me that the company is working closely with the police to monitor Ithaca graveyards to make sure all donations are legitimate. When I asked him to clarify his thoughts on why Ithaca townspeople might have organs “just lying around” at home, he merely smiled at me and said, “We’ve already received many callers asking how much money they could get from their donations.” I was curious how Cayuga Medical staff felt about this update. I asked ER doctor Jamie Corest about this. She said that she thinks it’s a good alternative because it’s cheaper to get organs and plasma from GameStop than from the hospital, and this can help save lives. Plus, customers can also pick up a new video game to play after organ transplant surgery: a winwin situation!

Sarah Moon is a second-year writing major who is hoping to trade part of their liver and a few pints of blood for a Nintendo Switch. You can reach them at smoon1@ithaca.edu.

Sarah Borsari is a first-year cinema and photography major who was once a lucrative detective before their dog took everything. You can reach them at sborsari@ithaca.edu.

Surprising Controversy Strikes Standards of Medical Education

Samantha Ridley to Star as

Lead Pipe

in High School Production of

Clue: The Musical

“Operation” Is No Longer Fun and Games, Experts Say // by Peter Tkaczyk, Staff Writer

onight, trouble brews in the medical community, as an old controversy shoves its way into the modern-day. Old conventions threaten to be overturned, and institutions doubt themselves. The cause? An Ithaca alumnus named Stephen Newell, a man who spent many hours during his education playing the Operation board game. Has this given him false, dangerous ideas about the medical practice? Reportedly, the game was introduced to the man through one of his teachers, Dr. Jim Stewart, who used it in the classroom as a teaching tool. “It was never intended as anything serious,” said Stewart. “It was only meant as a model or a demonstration. While it has been long embraced as a surprisingly accurate representation for certain types of surgeries, it does fall short in several major ways when compared to actual medical experience.” What harm has this “model” already caused? For more, we turn to Sarah Bilham, our subject’s current supervisor. “Stephen’s a good worker and a good doctor, really,” said Bilham. “It’s obvious that he made the right choice when he picked ‘medical professional’ out of three randomly drawn cards from the career deck as everyone does when they graduate college. He just has some bad habits he needs to unlearn.” As an example, she brings up a recent operation that she had to step in on. “It was a routine Comically Large Object Removal Procedure (CLORP). Any dedicated surgeon will do hundreds of them over their careers. He had the patient open when he accidentally brushed against the side, and he just freaked out. He had to be removed, and I was forced to complete the operation by myself. He honestly thought that he’d killed her.” As Bilham went on to elaborate, the game had given Newell the false impression that his small slip-up would have caused rubrum nasum pulsum, colloquially known as buzzy-red-nose, a sign of serious internal bleeding and a likely precursor to death. While avoiding contact with internal walls is important to any CLORP, a small brush is not enough to cause the onset of RNP. This is not the only issue Newell’s faulty knowledge has caused. Recently, he was written up for performing an unnecessary procedure to remove a patient’s butterflies from their stomach. While stomach butterflies can occasionally become malignant and cause damage to their human hosts, they are for the most part mutualist symbiotes and entirely harmless. Due to the commonality of these unnecessary operations, the stomach butterfly is now considered a vulnerable species, despite the valuable role they play in pollination when they fly out of their hosts’ mouths in the night. This case has drummed up old controversies about the board game’s use in the medical co across the nation. Many are asking if a game made in 1964 should have the right to appear in modern classrooms when the science behind the game has oftentimes moved on. Many point to the recent rise in ankle-bone-connection-to-knee-bone surgeries as another of Operation’s damaging legacies. While originally thought to aid in joint health at the time of the game’s release, it is now thought to either have no effect or to be slightly detrimental, and many now say that it cannot be considered anything other than a cosmetic surgery. No matter how everything ends up, there’s one man whose future has certainly been darkened by the game: Stephen Newell. According to Bilham, “It’s simply difficult to trust him on any operation now, for me and the other doctors, and while most of his bad behaviors can be trained out, that sense of trust will be more difficult to regain. I find it highly unlikely that he will ever make it to the other end of the board and have a second, upside-down version of himself placed on top of him to represent his promotion to hospital administrator.”

Peter Tkaczyk is a third-year writing major who has played Scrabble often enough to be a highly respected writer. You can reach them at ptkaczyk@ithaca.edu.

“Lead”-ing Lady Gives Thanks to Her Cast and Crew // by Sara Borsari, Contributing Writer; art by Adam Dee, Art Editor

amantha Ridley is a senior at Wilmington High School, and she is honored to be playing the role of “Lead Pipe” in this year’s production of Clue: The Musical! She is so excited not only to be taking on such a challenging role, but also to finally have a space in the playbill this year. She has participated in over 15 past productions and her favorite roles include: Shrubbery in Spamalot, Tentacle in The Little Mermaid, and the umbrella in Mary Poppins. She would like to thank her parents for being so supportive over the years, and her teacher for trusting her with such an important role. More than anything, she would especially like to thank Brenda Sanchez’s mom for petitioning the school board after Brenda was cast in ensemble and insisting everyone be given a part in the show this year. Without her, none of this would be possible. Samantha deeply appreciates her director for spending hours not only helping to block and stage the show, but also rewriting the script to accommodate the new roles, and sitting through seven performances of the six-hour show. She would also like to thank the leading cast for allowing their roles to be cut down significantly to give each cast member their time to shine. Really, what would Clue be without the Lead Pipe’s murderous monologue? Or the Billiards Table’s song about the gossip of the house? She is very proud of all the work she has put into perfecting this role. From memorizing and developing her character to calling in a professional coach to critique her performance, Samantha believes that she has truly unlocked the emotional depth required to play a role as demanding as the Lead Pipe, really bringing to light the emotional struggles of being an unwilling accomplice to a crime. She hopes that this performance will remind audience members of the importance of humanity in hard times and that moving on is one of the most difficult parts of life. Samantha wishes to give a shoutout to Lindsay and the rest of the costume department for making her a costume she feels so confident and proud to kill in. They have done an exceptional job with the paper-mache and with adjusting the bottom so she would stop falling on stage, especially during the crowbar ballet. Additionally, she would like to formally condemn Kendra, who is playing Ms. Peacock, for her accusations that Samantha was in any way “stealing her spotlight.” The spotlight chooses the star; sorry, Kendra just didn’t shine bright enough. Plus, if Kendra wanted the spotlight all to herself, she should have considered strangling the victim. Samantha also knows that jealousy is a sickness, and she hopes Kendra will recover soon. Samantha is so excited for audiences to see all the hard work that has been put into this performance. She hopes that they will consider returning another night to see the show again, so their budget for the spring show could be a little higher and she can live her dream of playing Greased Lightning in Grease!

Sarah Borsari is a first-year cinema and photography major who is currently writing the script for a multi-day musical opera featuring 400 characters. You can reach them at sborsari@ithaca.edu.

Local Athlete Starting to Think

Hide-and-Seek Would Be More Fun If They Had Any Friends

buzzsaw asks why... we keep hiring butlers if they’re so untrustworthy?

Hiding Champion opens up about loneliness // by Sarah Moon, Staff Writer

should have realized that spending four hours alone in my wardrobe was a red flag, especially since I live by myself. Is there like a five-second rule for hide-and-seek? Like, if you don’t get found within 30 minutes, you can come out of hiding? It was almost as bad as when I was hiding in my laundry hamper the other day, and I fell asleep for three hours after I’d already been hiding for two. It took $75 and a chiropractor to get all the kinks out of my neck. I’m beginning to think I need to invest in a portable charger to keep my phone from dying during my long hiding sessions. I’ve run out of levels in Candy Crush, and I can win Sudoku on expert level in under five minutes. I’ve recently downloaded a language app to kill time. Now that I’ve become fluent in Spanish, I think Norwegian is my next conquest. The game doesn’t even get any better when I’m doing the seeking, which is not usually my forte. If there were Olympic Games for hide-and-seek, I would be a gold-medalist in hiding. For seeking, I wouldn’t even make the trials. I ran into a group of stoners outside the dining hall, and when I insisted I had finally found them, the one who was clearly the alpha male said, “Oh, I didn’t know we were playing “high-and-seek.” I spent all of last week being a seeker, and in that time I was slapped twice and cursed out five times, once by an elderly lady crossing the street. (In my defense, the middle of the street is a terrible hiding place.) One time I hid in a construction zone overnight. I hid in one of the big ditches and covered myself in dirt. I made the mistake of falling asleep. I woke up in the morning 25 feet in the air because one of the Cat construction machines scooped me up. That was the only time I’ve ever been found, although the construction worker didn’t seem very excited. My mom tells me I should make friends to play with me, but that sounds like work. Time for me to go find a new hiding place. I’m thinking the sewer. I’ve heard there are clowns there. I like clowns.

Sarah Moon is a second-year writing major who once counted to 1,000 before realizing they had no one to look for. You can reach them at smoon1@ithaca.edu.

It’s no secret who done it, and frankly, we should have seen it coming. Every year, more and more of the 1% die senselessly at the hands of their butlers. Though Buzzsaw does not recommend suspicious lurker-types like gardeners or royal viziers, we would like to state plainly that butlers are by far the worst choice of companion for you in your remote villa. I understand the allure. You don’t want to answer the phone, you don’t want to answer the door, you don’t want to answer when someone asks why your wealth makes you exempt from paying taxes. But there are far better alternatives. You could hire a secretary, a maid, a security guard. You could get off your ass and answer the door yourself. Even hiring butlers under another name might be safer than putting up an advertisement specifically for shady, butler-type characters. If you do, for whatever stubborn reason, decide to keep a butler, we’ve compiled a list of warning signs. If your butler: • • • • • • • •

Lurks around corners and in shadows, not announcing himself until you feel that you are truly alone in the room Gently reminds you what the combination is on the vault of your family’s vast fortune Is prone to saying, “Very good, sir,” instead of counselling you on your foolish decisions Carries a small towelette draped over his right hand which could easily conceal a dagger Has been in the family for years and has therefore been grandfathered in from a time when there were no background checks Turns his back on you while preparing your favorite cocktail Has accidentally cut the phone lines multiple times and blamed it on the storm Generally creeps you out

… Then it may be time to consider letting go of your house staff, boarding up the windows, cutting the telephone lines and becoming a recluse shut-in for the rest of your life. We wish you all the best. Your Editor in Boddy Mansion, Isabel Murray