Coffee/Cake

BUZZSAW MAY 2018

Coffee: Now Made with Cancer pg. 6

Rerouting pg. 10

DEATH BEFORE DECAF

An Interview with Screaming Females pg. 18

Buzzsaw presents...

EDITORS’ COMMENT

The Coffee Issue Welcome to the coffee issue!

When the edz came together to pick this theme, we did so quickly, panickedly, and yet despite all odds— thoughtfully. Like getting ready in the morning after oversleeping your alarm (not once but twice) and somehow making it on time (or without getting reprimanded), this issue, this magazine, and this group is nothing short of a haphazard, almost-never-happening, absolutely coincidental miracle.

Especially with our morning coffee.

I suppose the drama of watching a messy miracle unfold and reveal itself is a reason why issue after issue for the last four years, I have been a part of Buzzsaw. 5 AM production nights, scrambling to gather pitches, working with writers to find their voice, running out of magazine money, and being a part of a family that I didn’t know I needed all fall under the umbrella of the unforeseen tragedies and pleasant surprises that constitutes Buzzsaw.

Sometimes dark, sometimes sweet, sometimes hot, sometimes cold, sometimes rich with flavor, sometimes just glorified water, Buzzsaw let me become a person in which thinking, writing, and community could come together to make something robust, necessary, and apart of my daily life.

Thank you buzz peeps for all the hangs!

Your dark and sometimes sweet editor, Michele Hau

BUZZSAW News & Views Upfront Ministry of Cool Prose & Cons Sawdust Seesaw Layout Art Website Social Media Production

Anna Lamb Owen Walsh Michele Hau Audra Joiner Alex Coburn Kimberly Caceci Will Cohan Julia Tricolla Tara Eng Brianna Pulver Rachel Geary Claire McClusky Christine McKinnie Kevin Swann Emma Rothschild

Adviser Founders

Jeff Cohen Abby Bertumen Kelly Burdick Bryan Chambala Sam Costello Thom Denick Cole Louison

Buzzsaw is published with support from Buzzsaw is also funded by the Ithaca College Student Governance Council and the Park School of Communications.

BUZZSAW:The Coffee Issue

Vanguard Printing is our press. (Ithaca, N.Y.) Divider and Table of Contents Photography

By Michael Seitzinger Michael Seitzinger is a first-year Cinema and Photography major from Cape May, NJ. His interest in visual art began with film and developed into a passion for photography. His mostly shoots street/urban photography but has started experimenting with portraiture.

Buzzsaw uses student-generated art and photography and royalty-free images.

Views expressed in this magazine are not necessarily those of the editorial staff or of Ithaca College.

Feedback and contributions should be sent to buzzsawmag@gmail.com.

Front cover art by Alexa Salvato Center art by Lexie Farabaugh Back cover art by Alexa Salvato

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Write Us

Our magazine exists to inspire thoughtful debate and open up the channels through which information is shared. Your comments and feedback are all a part of this process. Reach the editors by email at: buzzsawmag@gmail.com.

Table of Contents Seesaw ..........................................................4 Print media is dead, check out multimedia on the web.

News & Views .................................................5 Current events, local news & quasi-educated opinions.

Upfront ........................................................9 Selected dis-education of the month.

Ministry of Cool ........................................16 Arts, entertainment and other things cooler than us.

Prose & Cons .............................................21 Short fiction, personal essay and other assorted lies.

Satire threatening the magazine’s credibility since 1856.

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BUZZSAW News & Views

Sawdust .......................................................25

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Strong Man of Russia

Assessing Vladimir Putin’s abysmal track record

By Austin Wolcott, Contributing Writer

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s politics across the world appear to be mired in internal struggles and military conflicts, a growing trend in leaders has become apparent. In the face of strife and opposition, numerous global politicians have sought to create an image around themselves that resonates both power and influence. This is the image of the “strong-man.”

In a broad, historical sense, the strong-man politician is not a particularly new take on leadership, nor is it a surprising one.The post-World War II era has defined itself through partnerships and coalitions such as the European Union and NATO. As a result, world-leaders have typically tried to work together and at least give off the appearance of cooperation.

However, in recent years populism and nationalism have risen to new levels seldom seen in modern history, and with that has come a rise in leaders attempting to exert their strength off the backs of their citizens. Out of the numerous strong-man style leaders developing across the globe, one man named Vladimir Putin stands out,

the globe use leadership that they find effective and worthwhile in the realm of trying to uphold a positive image of themselves in the eyes of their fellow countrymen, Putin has been trashing the name of Russia.

In the game of power politics, the strong man is one who theoretically holds the might of his country and wields it in ways that exude influence and control. In Vladimir Putin’s game, however, his view of the strong man is evidently one who attempts to push others around, and then pull back. For example, in the instances of American election interference and the poisoning of the ex-Russian spy, he has vociferously denied any involvement in both. Although he may have thought this would make others possibly fear or perhaps cooperate with his country, each of these events have collapsed in a pile of trashed relationships and punishment directed his way, due to his sheer arrogance in thinking he could execute tasks that have harmed global relations and get away with them with just a smirk and wink.

If President Vladimir Putin seeks to join the ranks of powerpoliticians, he must act like a respectable leader and wield influence in ways that other leaders can appreciate, not in ways that disgusts them. Putin is running a destructive course that is only going to drag his name through history’s mud and crush his country if he doesn’t start respecting other global politicians. There are battles to be won and power to be gained, but Putin is never going to be a part of this game Not if he doesn’t shape up his own. ___________________________________ Austin Wolcott is a third year journalism major who’d move to Russia if he could. You can reach them at awolcott@ithaca.edu

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News & Views

Image by Claire McCluskey

and not because of his success.

A strong undercurrent of ego seems to fuel Vladimir Putin: his apparent desire to be viewed as a very powerful, intelligent, strong-man politician.

However, in a sense of efficacy, his attempts to bolster his position on the global stage have each fallen flat.

While President Xi Jinping has been working to earn the respect of the Chinese people and consolidate his power in a way that would make his tenure most effective, Vladimir Putin was orchestrating a vast, topsecret campaign to interfere with the United State’s presidential election.

While President Recep Tayyip Erdogan was cracking down on opposition towards him throughout Turkey and bolstering his rule in a way that might raise his approval ratings in the country, Vladimir Putin was shoving his militaristic fist into Syria.

While President Donald Trump was appealing to his base and seeking to keep both the appraisal and attention of the Republican party directed towards him, Vladimir Putin was sending out Russians to kill an ex-spy on the grounds of another sovereign nation, let alone the fact that it was Great Britain.

Through all of this, each of Putin’s moves on the global stage have been executed in pathetic, disgraceful ways. Instead of improving the status of his country and creating better relations between Russia and the rest of the world, he has focused on being the tough guy in ways that not only have damaged his international appeal, but have dragged Russia’s reputation down into depths not known since the Cold War. As other leaders across

Coffee: Now Made With Cancer A look into the industry’s most controversial science.

By Sam Fuller, Contributing Writer

BUZZSAW: The Coffee Issue

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ou walk into your local Starbucks on your busy Monday morning. Rather than filling your caffeine intake for the day, you can tap into your inner hypochondriac. Coffee: now made with your favorite local carcinogen!

But don’t pour out your cup too fast.

In 2016, the International Agency of Cancer Research sent out a press release regarding potential serious health risks connected not just to coffee, but other hot beverages as well.

This press release claimed that there was, in fact, a link between drinking coffee and developing cancer of the esophagus, but not for the reason that the public might expect.

Dr. Christopher Wild, IARC Director writes, “Drinking very hot beverages is one probable cause of esophageal cancer and that it is the temperature, rather than the drinks themselves.”

The study involved participants from a variety of countries including China, the Islamic Republic of Iran, Turkey, and South America.

In these countries, beverages such as tea or maté are traditionally served much hotter than the average Starbucks coffee served in the United States. The researchers identified one hundred forty-nine degrees Fahrenheit as the point at which beverages could be life-threatening.

Through this study, they noticed an increase in individuals with esophageal cancer. The researchers’ conclusion implied that drinking extremely hot coffee may in fact increase your likelihood of developing esophageal cancer thanks to the temperature. However, other research suggests that the ingredients themselves lurking within your favorite cup-of-joe could pose serious health risks, regardless of temperature.

The bigger concern with coffee is the amount of acrylamide found in the popular beverage. Acrylamide was not mentioned in the IACR press release.

According to the National Cancer Institute, acrylamide is a chemical used in the production of paper, dyes, and plastics. It also can be found in

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a variety of food products, and exposure can increase one’s chance of developing several types of cancer.

The acrylamide produced in coffee becomes activated through the roasting process. Most researchers identify acrylamide as either a “likely” or “probable” carcinogen, when researched on animals.

There has been little research done on how humans are affected by it.

It is also found in many plant products. Some examples are potatoes, grains and nuts. According the Food and Drug Administration, sometimes these products can have even more acrylamide than coffee.

The levels of chemicals in specific foods can be found the FDA’s website.

There is little to no research on whether the brewing process itself increases the amount of acrylamide in coffee. However, the FDA released a guideline for preparing foods that contain acrylamide in March 2016, in hopes to reduce the levels.

For example, with potato farming, simple planning on the times of harvest, variety of potatoes and storage conditions can assist in lowering the chemical. With certain practice, farmers can lower the amount of sugar in the potatoes, a process that makes it more difficult for acrylamide to become present.

Acrylamide is also more commonly known for being in cigarette smoke.

This ongoing research has led to a debate over whether or not coffee should come with a cancer warning, like cigarettes.

A small non-profit group called The Council for Education and Research on Toxics has been fighting to get big coffee companies to either remove the chemical or label their products informing the customers of the risks involved. In a recent court decision, a California judge has ruled in favor of the non-profit, demanding that companies like Starbucks and many others provide a proper label informing the public of links to cancer.

Big coffee could go a different

route, however. Years ago, potato chip manufacturers faced a similar lawsuit, but were successful in removing acrylamide from their products.

Coffee-makers argue, however, that this removal is not a feasible option in the case of coffee and maintain that the health risks posed by the chemical are negligible.

The scientific community has been somewhat equivocal on just how dangerous the levels of acrylamide in an average cup of coffee are. In 1991 coffee was placed on the World Health Organization’s “possible carcinogen” list, but was removed in 2016.

The National Cancer Institute says more research is needed to form a better understanding about the risks involved with the chemical. According to their website: “Additional epidemiologic studies… are needed to help determine whether dietary acrylamide intakes are associated with increased cancer risks in people. It is also important to determine how acrylamide is formed during the cooking process and whether acrylamide is present in foods other than those already tested.”

It is unlikely that any drastic measures will be taken in the meantime. __________________________________ Sam Fuller is a third year Cinema and Photography major who likes her coffee extra deadly with a dash of sugar. They can be reached at sfuller@ithaca.edu

Up in Arms How I sorted through my feelings about gun safety...with a gun.

By Kimberly Caceci, Prose & Cons Editor

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AR-15 in his home state of Florida where he went to his high school and killed seventeen people, leaving seventeen more injured.

The instructions were over and it was time for me to get a handson experience. Sitting in the back of my cousin’s truck, nervousness and excitement stirred and my mind couldn’t stop cycling through all the different reasons I wanted to shoot for the first time. I didn’t want to be influenced by my pro-gun family about why guns shouldn’t have restrictions, but I didn’t want the antigun talk from my college overrun my opinions. I needed to form my views with proper education about guns and gun safety; I didn’t want to jump to any conclusion.

After going over the rules about how to safely and properly hold a gun one last time, my cousin handed me a .22 caliber rifle, the metal cool against my sweaty palm; I placed the protective headphones over my ears and lined up the gun. I took a deep breath and BAM. I had just taken my first shot.

My cousin walked over to me.

“How did that feel?”

I had no words; all I could do was smile.

“Do you want to go again with more rounds?” he asked, proudness marked in the corners of his smile.

I excitedly nodded my head and Matt laughed, filling up the gun with more bullets.

“Just try to aim for the paper. Don’t worry about hitting the black center,” he said.

Five minutes later we took a look at the paper target, thirteen out of nineteen shots were in the black small circle in the center of the target.

“Are you sure this is your first time shooting?” Matt asked.

“Yup.” In recent years and in the wake of several mass shooting, gun control has become an increasingly partisan issue.

“Republicans and Democrats have

stark, fundamental differences on questions relating to the causes of gun violence and even whether gun violence is a serious problem in the country,” according to a survey at the Pew Research Center.

In response to Cruz’s shooting, gun control advocates push for bipartisan support on universal background checks, mandatory reports of loss or theft, smart policing, restriction of gun purchases or people with risky behavior and improvement of health care for mental illness.

The purpose of the Second Amendment right is to protect the people against government tyranny as well as from others who wish to do harm.

Before I went shooting with my thirty-year-old cousin, I was anti-gun.

After I experienced my first round, I was pro-gun. But seeing the violence and destruction, I believe in our Second Amendment right to bear arms with regulations to prevent future aggressive events.

New York already fulfills some of the advocate’s demands. Perhaps change comes from other states and New York acting on the areas their laws lack in. Gun control doesn’t mean creating new systems or putting in place impossible processes for gun purchases. But control means preventing people with ill-intent to own guns and cause more harm. ___________________________________ Kimberly Caceci is second year Writing Major who just bought a holster on ebay. You can reach them at kcaceci@ithaca.edu.

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News & Views

esting my already tired legs after two hours of working in a stuffed warehouse, I built up the courage to grab my phone from my bag and began to type: “Hi Matthew, I know we talked briefly but I’m here for the summer and was wondering if there was a day or weekend or something this summer you could teach me more about guns, gun safety, shooting, etc?”

Only having ten minutes for my break, I go back to work with no reply. But I keep my phone near me in case he texts back. Thirty-four minutes later, my cousin does: “Absolutely! I’m honestly thrilled to know that you want to learn more about them!”

Almost a month later, our calendar and schedules aligned, and I’m able to go to his house before we do anything further. Matt and I go through each component of a gun, the different types of safeties external and internal the difference between concealed and open carry, the type of holsters and how they fit a specific type of gun, and briefly through the laws of New York regarding different types of guns.

In New York State, any person above the age of twenty-one can purchase a gun after they receive a permit and pass a lengthy background check, at the discretion of law enforcement or except in the cases of private transactions. In cases where a gun is stolen or lost, someone must report it to the police.

In 2013 after the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School, New York passed the SAFE Act, which banned all assault-style weapons, except for those considered antique or purchased before January 2013.

In those circumstances, individuals would have to register their assault weapons.

Parkland shooter Nikolas Cruz was not from New York and was legally able to purchase and own an

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Selected dis-education of the month.9

Rerouting

Indie Media Sites See Decline in Traffic After Change in Google’s Algorithm

By Evan Popp, Staff Writer

BUZZSAW: The Coffee Issue

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ollowing Google’s announcement in April of 2017 that it was shifting its algorithm in an attempt to combat the flow of fake news, some independent news organizations have reported a precipitous drop in traffic to their sites.

According to a New York Times report from September of this year, the change in Google’s algorithm came as a response to the influx of fake news appearing in Google search results. In a blog post about the move, Ben Gomes — vice president of search engineering at Google — wrote that the tech company had improved its “evaluation methods and made algorithmic updates to surface more authoritative content” and to “demote low-quality content.”

However, despite Google’s intention to fight the spread of fake news with its algorithmic change, the shift has dramatically reduced the viewership of independent, left-wing outlets. In an article from July of 2017, the World Socialist Web Site reported that traffic to its site dipped after the change in Google’s algorithm and also pointed to reductions in the viewership of left-wing sites such as AlterNet, Counterpunch, Consortiumnews.com, Truthout and others. But despite being relegated by the new algorithm to a lower position in Google search results alongside actual fake news sites, all of these outlets are well-known in the left-wing community for doing factbased articles.

Steven Rosenfeld, a senior fellow at AlterNet, said the website’s traffic dropped by approximately 40 percent after the change in Google’s algorithm.

Rosenfeld explained that because AlterNet — which has won awards for its journalism — does analysis and opinion pieces from a left-wing perspective rather than unbiased reporting, the site has been downgraded by Google’s new algorithm along

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with sites that actually spread fake news.

“Google has tried to create these algorithms to grade content and the bottom line is it’s demoting independent, alternative voices,” Rosenfeld said.

Google did not respond to a request for comment on how the shift in its algorithm has impacted independent news sites.

But Rosenfeld said the drop in traffic caused by the change in Google’s algorithm is a significant problem for AlterNet because the site relies on page views to generate advertising revenue. With a smaller audience coming to the site, Rosenfeld said there will be fewer financial resources available for AlterNet to use.

However, in addition to AlterNet and other left-wing news sites, Rosenfeld said right-wing, alternative media outlets have also seen a reduction in viewership due to the change in Google’s algorithm.

Conservative sites have taken notice. Multiple right-wing outlets, such as the Blaze and the Daily Caller, published articles about Google’s supposed bias toward left-wing sites over right-wing outlets. Neither the Blaze nor the Daily Caller responded to a request for comment about how Google’s attitude toward right-wing, independent news sources and the change to its algorithm have impacted these sites.

However, Rosenfeld said many of the conservative sites affected by the algorithm change do a propagandistic style of journalism. He said this stands in contrast to the largely fact-based reporting published by most of the outlets on the left that are losing traffic due to the change in Google’s algorithm. As a result, Rosenfeld said the filtering out of some right-wing sites is more in line with Google’s goal of fighting fake news and low-quality content than the filtering out of left-wing sites.

Robert Parry — editor of the left-

leaning, investigative journalism site Consortiumnews.com, which also saw a drop in traffic after the change in Google’s algorithm — said the new algorithm will lead to fewer media voices reaching the public.

Parry said since alternative media content is being demoted by Google’s new algorithm, the public is more likely to consume news solely from a mainstream media point of view and less likely to see news from alternative sources.

“Just because we don’t march in lockstep with The New York Times or the Washington Post or CNN, it doesn’t mean that we, or other organizations like ours, should be punished and somehow downgraded so that people have a hard time finding our content,” Parry said. “That seems to be the way Google has decided to go.”

Parry said holding the mainstream media up as the gold standard of journalism isn’t accurate, as traditional news outlets don’t always get the story right. He pointed out that the mainstream media largely went along with the invasion of Iraq even though it was later shown that the war was conducted under false pretenses.

While Parry acknowledged that fake news is an issue and that tech companies like Google should be involved in fighting misleading information, he said in this case Google has gone too far.

“While it is true that there are conspiracy news sites and other places that do terrible work … the idea of the cure being worse than the disease may be true here,” he said.

Jeff Cohen, founding director of the Park Center for Independent Media at Ithaca College, agreed that Google’s change in its algorithm is problematic. He said Google’s marginalization of content outside of the mainstream media could lead to fewer instances of journalists challenging those in power.

“What independent journalists

Image by Claire McCluskey

dent media sites. He said AlterNet has had difficulty reaching anyone at Google to talk about the impact of the new algorithm.

Parry agreed, saying he doesn’t hold much hope that Google will be receptive to complaints by independent sites because the tech-giant has been heavily influenced by those demanding it do more to fight fake news.

“Google has been under a lot of pressure from Congress and from government agencies in general on this,” he said. “So I think they have been somewhat coerced into moving in this direction.”

Overall, Parry said that while Google’s intention to fight fake news may be virtuous, allowing such a powerful corporation to be the arbiter of what is real and what is fake gives the tech giant far too much

power.

“To simply have some Google coalition deciding what’s true and what’s not is a recipe for a much worse situation,” he said. “It’s something that borders on Orwellian.” ___________________________________ Evan Popp is a fourth-year journalism major who plans on hacking into Google in order to give Buzzsaw more views. You can reach them epopp@ ithaca.edu.

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Upfront

have done throughout history is question official wisdom,” Cohen said. “And those who question official wisdom and New York Times wisdom could be, by some algorithm, deemed fake news. So it’s very dangerous.”

Cohen said the influence Google’s algorithm has in determining what information the public sees is the reason the tech giant needs to be more heavily monitored.

“Google has got huge power,” he said. “And when you had the power of what used to be considered public utilities, you had to be regulated.

Google has to be watched by democratic forces and commissions and not left to its own devices.”

However, Rosenfeld doesn’t believe there’s an easy solution to the problems that Google’s change in its algorithm have caused for indepen-

Q+A: Why is Poetry so Emo? Examining gothic culture in a modern context

By Dariene Seifert, Contributing Writer

BUZZSAW: The Coffee Issue

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dmit it, you’ve been through an emo phase.

You can imagine yourself right now back in middle school, wearing black clothes, stomping down the hall in your matching combat boots, holding your iPod, blasting My Chemical Romance’s “Welcome to the Black Parade” into your ears, as you planned on logging into MySpace later to write another poem about your “tortured soul.”

Despite growing out of that phase (to your mom’s relief), your poetry, as well as most poetry, has not. Why is poetry like this? Do we intend this right when we put pen to paper, or do our emotions get the better of us and we spill our guts? Poems seem to have this repeating “emo theme,” that gloriously continues no matter if the poet is an expert or amateur.

To try and solve this mystery, I interviewed three people with knowledge on poetry, or just emo culture in general.

Interviewees: Shandi Putzbach, peer from high school who never grew out of her emo phase (Emo Enthusiast™) Mr. Matt Lauer, sixth grade English teacher (jealous that he wasn’t emo) Mr. Thomas Gorman, twelfth grade AP Lit teacher (never emo, but is interested in it) Before we can really dive into the liquid eyeliner, we must first ask: how would you define emo?

SP: The G Note from “Welcome to the Black Parade”.

Me: Could you elaborate?

SP: If you look up the definition of “emo” that’s what you will find.

TG: I’m not too familiar with it.

ML: That’s a good question. I would define emo as a way of thinking independently and not worrying about what others think.

The varying answers were surprising, and they only got more interesting as we made our descent down the rabbit hole. Obviously, now it

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was time to ask the million-dollar question: Why is poetry emo?

SP: If you go back into history of poetry, like with Edgar Allan Poe, you’ll find a lot of similarities between that and emo.

Me: Can you name some similarities?

SP: “The Raven” imagery and prose remind me of My Chemical Romance’s “Helena”.

TG: I think poetry can be poetry for it allows us to get into the crevices of human nature; it allows us to see [what is] disturbing yet revealing about the human condition.

ML: The best poets are people that would write and [not] care about what people [think]. [Poets] are writing for themselves and not for anyone else which I think is cool. When you write poetry, you are independently writing something to make yourself or someone else feel better.

It’s free thinking and emotion, and not trying to please others.

Despite all agreeing that poetry can be emo, I wondered if poetry can be classified as that “genre.”

Me: So, you believe that poetry can be classified as emo?

SP: Oh, yeah, for sure.

Even if it’s a happy poem, you can still see it as emo.

TG: I absolutely do. Poems can be classified that way. Various poets like Edgar Allan Poe, Sylvia Plath, and others can be considered emo. But there are poets that are not known for the genre but are known to explore the depth of the human condition as well.

Writers like Emily Bronte, who is known as a novelist, is also an accomplished poet who explores gothic ideas through her poetry.

ML: Absolutely. I would say, by the way, it’s independent thinking, and the

best poetry would be in the realm of not thinking about others.

When asked if they could think of any poets/poems that expressed emo, I soon figured out that Edgar Allan Poe was highly favored and could be considered the king of emo influence due to his writing’s dark themes.

Me: Obviously you mentioned Edgar Allan Poe. Can you name any others?

SP: Shakespeare. Most of his writings were about death.

Me: Do you favor them or not?

SP: Yes. Writings about death and sadness are more interesting.

Me: Are you saying that people prefer tragedy over happiness? How come?

SP: People can relate more to the sad poems than the happy poems.

TG: I absolutely favor them. I think emo/gothic is a very important genre to explore because it’s through the exploration of darkness that people

Image by Rachael Geary

Selected dis-education of the month. more depressing emo songs can make everyone feel a certain type of way. And just like poetry, this music can be interpreted in different ways.

TG: Absolutely. Music is poetry.

In fact, I use emo/gothic music to correlate with pieces of literature that I read. For example, playing Smashing Pumpkins’ “Bullet with Butterfly Wings” to compare with Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights character Heathcliff.

ML: Most forms of music can be considered poetry, depending on what you are listening too, and emo music could be [poetry], yeah.

It helps a lot of people and kids because they’re feeling the same way.

They aren’t worried about making hits on YouTube and breaking records.

Since this underground phenomenon isn’t going away anytime soon, why is emo poetry so popular? Is it more popular than “nonemo” poetry?

SP: Like I said in the beginning, everyone can relate to it. Everyone has been sad at one point or another. It’s not more popular because I feel like there’s enough sadness in the world to the point where people don’t want to read about it.

TG: I think [emo culture is] popular because it helps people explore themselves. I don’t think it’s more popular, but I do think it’s important. It helps people discover who they are and who they want to be.

It provides a roadmap in how to get there.

ML: If you walked into high school, there are so many kids that have emotions they need to get out, and some kids are probably writing emo poetry and don’t even know it.

There’s so much pressure on people nowadays, and it’s a good outlet for them.

And, of course, the two most important questions must be asked.

They are the epitome of emo after all…

Will you stop wearing black when they make a darker color?

SP: I definitely won’t because you must stay true to yourself. All emos started this way – we were all born with guyliner and MCR shirts.

TG: No. I’m always going to wear black. I think black symbolizes

classic ideas, and because I don’t care how dark it goes, I’m sticking to it.

ML: I do enjoy wearing black. Sure, I would wear darker colors if they made them.

Do you think My Chemical Romance will get back together?

SP: I would love to say yes, but in all honesty, the answer would be no because it’s the best thing for their mental health. As an emo, you care about your band more than anything else.

TG: Old guy doesn’t know!

ML: I guess we can all only hope so. __________________________________ Dariene Seifert is a first-year Writing for Film, TV, and Emerging Media major whose goth icon is Avril Lavigne.

You can reach them at dseifert@ithaca. edu

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often can see the light in things.

ML: I would say Edgar Allen Poe. He wrote just to get stuff out, and most of his stuff wasn’t even read until he was dead. His writing connects to kids and helps them get their emotions out.

It was now time to expose those poorly-dyed roots and get personal: Did you go through an emo phase?

Did you write any emo poetry?

SP: I’m currently in my emo phase.

Me: How’s that working out?

SP: It’s depressing. Twenty One Pilots is still on hiatus, My Chemical Romance isn’t back together, and my crops aren’t thriving.

Me: Did you write any emo poetry?

SP: Yes. It wasn’t really poetry; it was a list of things that made me sad or mad. Mind you, I was in day care.

TG: Yes, I did go through an emo phase. My emo phase took place in my junior/senior year of high school.

The emo phase I was going through was the typical teenage angst where I would explore gothic topics to find out who I was. I think most people go through this phase because it’s a necessary part in developing who you are as a human being. If we don’t question things and the world around us then how in the world will we ever be prepared to develop ourselves, our ideas, and ultimately make an impact?

ML: I did not go through an emo phase, and I did not write any poetry myself until I was in college. I was friends with people who were considered to be emo, and I liked how they didn’t care what people thought. I was a little jealous because of the way they thought. I wrote stupid fluffy poetry in college.

If poetry can be emo, then it makes sense to question if emo music can be considered poetry. The dark themes, everlasting sadness, the screams of pity and regret, among other emo things. With there blaring similarities, can this genre of music be called poetry?

SP: Yes. “Northern Downpour” from Panic! At the Disco is one of the most well-known examples. There is a lot of meaning and emotion behind that song.

Me: Can you name any others?

SP: “Save Rock and Roll” by Fall Out Boy. The one lyric is: “I cried tears you’ll never see.” Some of the

True or False?

The sharing of the news online

By Owen Walsh, News & Views Editor

BUZZSAW: The Coffee Issue

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he dawn of social media has irrevocably changed what the news media are and how they inform the public. It has also significantly impacted the way the public consumes daily news stories. Of the many transformative components of social media that have touched and affected society at nearly every level, there is one such aspect that has probably shaken up the news media most of all: the share button.

By having the ability to share specific news stories from a wide variety of sources to their own personal profiles, Facebook users can do what used to be done solely by newspaper editors. Users can choose what story is important for their followers to see, what social movement deserves attention, what celebrity should be talked about and what article is most entertaining.

The problem with giving average social media users the power of newspaper editors to comb through stories and select the most “worthy” is that social media users’ livelihoods do not depend on accuracy. Someone’s uncle is not going to be sued for libel or defamation if he shares a story about Tom Cruise that turns out to be a hoax. Worst of all, it is these kinds of stories, without any basis in truth, which often garner the most buzz on the Internet.

Inaccurate news stories are not a new problem for the news media, but there is reason to believe the problem is growing. According to a BuzzFeed News analysis, fake news stories in 2017 received more engagement on Facebook than in 2016.

In the same article, BuzzFeed listed the top fifty fake news stories of 2017, ranked in order of “engagements,” which include likes, reactions and shares. The fake stories that generated the most engagements reveal society’s fascination with the depraved and the disturbing. In the top ten headlines alone,

14

two involved somebody getting “stuck” inside another person’s vagina, two involved severed penises and two involved somebody dying.

These bizarre headlines illuminate the extremely dangerous power of hoaxes and the websites that spread them. However, this issue encompasses more than patently fake news. When reputable news sources unwittingly publish inaccurate information, the falsehoods can spread through Facebook and Twitter like wildfire under the aegis of authoritative journalism.

In December of 2017, Glenn Greenwald published a story for The Intercept titled, “The U.S. Media Suffered its Most Humiliating Debacle in History and Now Refuses All Transparency Over What Happened.” The humiliating debacle Greenwald is referencing involves a claim made by CNN reporter Manu Raju that Wikileaks had tipped off the Trump campaign in early September about leaked emails from the Democratic National Committee which Wikileaks had yet to make public. Greenwald writes, “As CNN sees the world, this would prove collusion between the Trump family and WikiLeaks and, more importantly, between Trump and Russia, since the U.S. intelligence community regards WikiLeaks as an ‘arm of Russian intelligence,’ and therefore, so does the U.S. media.”

This supposed bombshell story, presented by CNN as the “smoking gun” that categorically implicated Trump with the Kremlin, quickly gained traction on the Internet, causing other major outlets like MSNBC and CBS to publish their own stories affirming that Wikileaks had given Trump a tip-off in order to give the candidate the edge over Hillary Clinton.

Aside from these major outlets, several Democratic pundits, and even a California congressman posted links to the story on their social media accounts.

There was one major problem: The crux of the story was completely false. Raju wrote in his original article that the email the Trump campaign received was dated September 4, which would have been ten days before Wikileaks made the DNC’s emails public. In actuality, the email was dated September 14, a day after Wikileaks had already made the leaked emails public. Worse yet, the email’s sender, Michael J. Erikson, was not affiliated with Wikileaks at all, but was a “random person from the public,” as Greenwald writes.

By failing to perform the simplest of fact-checks, several mainstream media outlets disseminated information as untrue and harmful to the public as any common hoax or Internet rumour.

Greenwald further asserted that it was these mainstream outlets’ anti-Trump zeal that led to such an egregious mistake. What Greenwald seems to be referring to is a phenomenon called confirmation bias.

Confirmation bias, or motivated reasoning, is defined by researchers of cultural cognition as the tendency of people to accept information that supports their preexisting worldview and beliefs, while rejecting information which challenges these things.

Confirmation bias may or may not be behind Raju publishing his erroneous Trump-Wikileaks story without proper fact-checking, but it certainly helps explains why it was shared so heavily.

Psychological research has shown that when well-informed readers are presented with information which affirms a worldview, they accept it as truth without assessing its accuracy. Furthermore, they are quick to reject information that confronts a worldview, even if it is based in solid evidence. Basically, a reader who strongly opposes Donald Trump will readily accept whatever criticisms a news outlet publishes about him; a Trump supporter is likely to read a pro-Trump article without objec-

Journalists do not have the power to change people’s fundamental, problematic behaviors like confirmation bias. They also do not have the ability to totally undo the damage done consistently by hoax sites.

What journalists are capable of, though, is committing themselves to accuracy over speedy reporting and building a loyal following of readers that trust their dedication to the truth and not just their ideological leanings. ___________________________________ Owen Walsh is a third-year Journalism major who never forgets to use the plural form of “news media.” You can reach them at owalsh@ithaca. edu.

15

Upfront

tively assessing the veracity of the arguments being made. The antiTrump reader then shares an antiTrump article, and the pro-Trump reader shares the pro-Trump article, whether or not either article is based in truth.

Clearly, human behavior combined with the culture of Internet sharing is a perfect storm for the dissemination of rumours, hoaxes and misinformation. Some have suggested that websites dedicated to fact-checking and debunking can help solve this problem. However, sites, which do this very task, such as Snopes and Politico, have been present on the Internet for years and yet the problem still remains.

In an email interview, Andrew Hunter, journalist and co-author of All Your Friends Like This: How Social Media Took Over the News, discussed the limitations of factchecking sites: “We don’t think [it is possible for fact-checkers to receive as many shares as hoax sites do]. The story that something isn’t so is just not as compelling as the original. Generally the audience is not aware they are sharing or consuming misinformation, so it’s not a simple case of valuing the sensational above substance.”

Fixing this problem must start in the newsroom. Media across the board needs to shift away from their obsession with publishing a story first, and rededicate themselves to publishing a story only after it has been scrutinized for accuracy.

Fortunately, the Internet economy is evolving in a way that promotes the truth rather than devalues it. Websites once relied solely on advertising to make money, so they were incentivised to publish intriguing headlines (or “clickbait”) which would attract a high number of shares and “clicks.” Today, however, sites make money by building a loyal following of Internet consumers who will return to the sites on a weekly basis, subscribe, purchase merchandise, and attend live events hosted by the web-company. “With all these [new] kinds of monetization, the revenue is more closely associated with the reputation of the brand, and therefore there is more incentive to protect that reputation,” Hunter says.

OL. MINISTRYofCOOL. M

16

Take a Sad Song, and Make It Better Why do we listen to sad songs when we’re already sad?

By Julia Tricolla, Seesaw Editor

S

coll. Browse. Click.

Genres & Moods. Playlists. “Life Sucks.”

An appropriate playlist title, I think to myself.

Description: “These songs will probably make you feel worse, but at least they’ll let you know you’re not alone.”

What’s the deal with listening to broken-hearted ballads after our significant other has just broken up with us? Why do we subject ourselves to sappy songs about our angsty teenage years? No one enjoys being sad and miserable, so why does doubling down on the sadness somehow make us feel a little bet-

Image by Rachael Geary

Adele’s “Hello”? Because I know that I haven’t called someone a thousand times to say that I’m sorry? Perhaps.

The research also suggests that one of the reasons we experience pleasant feelings when perceiving particularly melancholy art forms is because it poses no actual threat to us. We can objectively experience others’ sadness because we know the music itself won’t hurt us. Sure, Lord Huron’s “The Night We Met” might bring a tear to my eye for the sixth time in a row. But I don’t feel any actual fear that his misfortunes will be cast upon me because I’ve listened to his song. When we listen to sad music we have the ability to feel its effect, but no reason to accept its inherent tangibility. The distance between ourselves and the music provides comfortability and safety.

What I’m trying to say here is go ahead and submerge yourself into sad music when you’re feeling less than subpar. According to science, you might even feel better afterwards. And who doesn’t trust science? ___________________________________ Julia Tricolla is a third-year Communication Management Design major who invites you to listen to her specially curated sappy ballads playlist on Buzzsaw’s Spotify. You can reach them at jtricolla@ithaca.edu.

Ministry of Cool

ter?

A 2013 Tokyo study, “Sad music induces pleasant emotions” published in Frontiers of Psychology suggests we listen to sad music because it might actually evoke positive emotions. Generally, humans don’t enjoy being miserable, which means we have to experience some variety of pleasant emotions when listening to sad music. The researchers found that listening to sad music evoked two feelings from participants: vicarious emotion and safety.

When we listen to sad music we often compare ourselves to the speaker in the song; we draw comparisons between the singer’s misfortunes and ours. Often times, the songs we listen to are caked in hyperboles and metaphors of their tragedies and setbacks. This means we feel better about ourselves when listening to sad music because we perceive our lives as more pleasant than the speakers singing the song. We are thankful that our lives aren’t as bad as others. The positive feelings we experience while listening to sad songs about other people’s lives can be credited to a theory called downward social comparison.

Downward social comparison is the act of comparing ourselves to others who are less fortunate than we are. Basically, we feel better about ourselves because Lana Del Rey is probably having a worse day than us. Could that be why I don’t feel horrible when listening to

17

An Interview with Screaming Females The punk band speaks about their new album, “All At Once”

By Hannah Fitzpatrick, Staff Writer

N

BUZZSAW: The Coffee Issue

ew Jersey punk rockers Screaming Females dropped their latest record All At Once February 23.

They are coming to play a show at The Haunt in downtown Ithaca April 12 for their tour supporting their new record.

Staff Writer Hannah Fitzpatrick spoke with lead singer and guitarist Marissa Paternoster about the making of All At Once, how Paternoster originally got into music and what she likes most about playing in Ithaca during tours.

Hannah Fitzpatrick: Who were your biggest influences while making All At Once? Or for your overall sound?

Marissa Paternoster: For all of our music, our primary influences are usually the people we go on tour with. We tour a lot, so it’s kind of hard not to be influenced by them, and since we’ve been actively touring for most of our career, it would be odd if touring didn’t influence our writing. Aside from that, we play whatever excites. We definitely draw inspiration from older bands, but usually it comes from our immediate surroundings and the people we hang out with.

HF: How has your music evolved since you first began playing together?

MP: As a band, I think we’ve become more confident when performing, and more honest with each other when we’re writing songs together.

We’ve been writing and playing songs together for about thirteen years now, so at this point, it doesn’t matter whether or not we write something that becomes a hit. We just do what feels good.

HF: Can you describe the writing process that you and your bandmates went through when creating All At Once?

MP: It was kind of all over the place.

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The only difference for this record was that we had a lot more time to write and record the songs than for the others. Because of the amount of time we had, we could record demos and other stuff that could contribute to a song. Other than that, it was basically “anything goes.” Sometimes someone will bring in a guitar or bass riff, or I can bring in a whole song, and we just see what happens from there.

HF: I’ve read in previous interviews that you guys started off as a DIY group but then signed to a label.

How involved are you in making decisions for the group?

MP: We do value autonomy as a group. However, there are lots of DIY bands out there, so we don’t want to give the impression that we are completely autonomous. There are other people outside of the band, like our label, that we hook up with. We appreciate creating long-lasting friendships and trust with other people, but at the end of day, we have the last call.

HF: What originally got you into music? What made you want to form Screaming Females with the other members?

MP: I don’t know really. I’ve been playing music since I was a kid, and from the time I started I just really liked it. I’ve always loved punk bands and the punk scene and I wanted to be in that world, and that feeling has never stopped. When I finally found the punk scene in my area, it felt like I was home.

HF: Have you played Ithaca before?

If so, what are your favorite spots to go to around the area?

MP: We’ve played about four or five times now. I can’t remember the exact spots, but there are some classic Ithaca tourist stuff we like to do when we’re up there, like walking around the Cornell campus or grabbing a coffee at Gimme! Coffee. Ithaca is such a pretty town, so I’m always glad to be up there when we’re

on tour.

HF: What do you want people to take away from the new record?

MP: We want people to have fun, and if our music resonates with them, that makes all the hard work we put into this band worth while. We hope you like All At Once, we hope when you come to our shows, you can see that we did this all ourselves and we’re here for you. We want to get to know you and put on the best show we can. ___________________________________ Hannah Fitzpatrick is a first-year exploratory major and punk rock girl.

You can reach her at hfitzpatrick@ ithaca.edu.

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RAW SAW

Show Review

FROM THE

Everything Sucks!

Mateo Flores Staff Writer

time to Luke’s journey to learn more about his father who left him and his mother when he was too young to understand.

This show also fails to deliver any distinct laughs and is rarely actually funny. I can count on both hands the number of times I laughed while watching the entire season, and even then my amusement never surpassed a short chuckle. The show leaves a lot of the comedy to Luke’s friends and the Drama Club members, but they’re more annoying than they are funny.

The show also fails to ever really justify its 1990’s setting. It adds nothing of real substance to the show or its telling of the story.

While Stranger Things was set in the 80’s and felt like a movie from the 80’s, Everything Sucks! could’ve really been told in any modern decade. There is nothing about it that justifies the 90’s setting, besides just a visual aesthetic. It looks at the nineties with rose colored glasses, as a simple time divided between Blockbuster Video and Alanis Morrisette. In this way, I guess the show’s portrayal of the nineties and the show itself are similar. Everything Sucks! is a sweet show that focuses on the past, handles its two leads with great care, and carries promise of potential and improvement for later seasons. As for what it is presently, it’s not half bad, but not quite special either.

19

News & Views

It seems that decades of the past have become a new aesthetic trend in film and television. We can arguably trace this back to the massive success of Stranger Things, but shows like The Goldbergs technically did it first. Regardless, our newest addition to the aesthetics of the past includes Netflix’s new original dramedy Everything Sucks! While Netflix has revolutionized the decades aesthetics choice with Stranger Things, this new show centering around a high school in Oregon in the nineties is unfortunately not as strong as its older spiritual brother. It has its moments, but I don’t think anyone’s going to remember the choice to utilize the nineties as a big necessity to the show’s storytelling.

Everything Sucks! doesn’t suck, but it’s not that great either.

We focus mostly on two underclassman – freshman Luke (Jahi Di’Allo) and the girl he has a crush on, sophomore Kate (Peyton Kennedy). What could’ve been a typical set-up for a cheesy highschool romance diverges in its realism with the way it follows these two diverse leads. First off, they look like ACTUAL high school underclassmen and not

attractive, chiseled 20 year olds posing as early bloomers. Luke is a young black aspiring filmmaker in a single-parent household. He’s independent and outgoing, and while at first glance we’re given the impression that he and his two dorky friends Tyler and McQuaid would be the kids to get beat up in this high school, Luke’s easygoing and driven nature keeps him from being a social outcast. Five episodes in, Luke becomes wellrespected among his peers.

Kate, on the other hand, is more of an outcast and loner by choice.

She struggles socially because her father (Patch Darragh) is the school’s principal, and people distance themselves from her. She values the distance, because she hides her blossoming homosexuality with a faint interest in A/V Club where our two young stars meet. While Kate’s own personal storyline about her coming into her sexuality is more interesting than Luke’s student film, their friendship is truly special and is a definite shining point of the show.

The show also loosely follows the characters around them: Kate and Luke’s parents who eventually meet and start seeing each other, the Drama Club members that act in Luke’s film, and Luke’s own dorky friends who strive to find confidence on their own. This is unfortunately where the show starts to falter, as most of the plotlines often fall to the wayside when Luke and Kate’s stories are so engaging. The other plotlines are especially rushed in comparison – which is detrimental to Ken (Kate’s father) and Sherri (Luke’s mother) eventual courtship. We get the sweet beginnings of it, and then suddenly we’re in the middle of it. The show takes a huge leap in order to give more

Show Review BUZZSAW: The Coffee Issue

They narrowly escape life and death situations on a daily basis, and the show smartly shows how that affects them, even incorporating Abby when necessary. In a profound moment in “A Change of Heart,” Joel tells Abby that they’re starting to run out of steam and they’re not sure how much longer they can keep their family afloat. Sheila’s condition has been a thing that they’ve mostly (and somewhat unsuccessfully) been trying to keep away Mateo Flores from Abby, and to see that the show is willing to take risks and Staff Writer Santa Clarita Diet makes the openly admit how much the Hamunconventional conventional. At monds juggle is a bold choice. The this point in television, many sitshow is rightfully grounded mostly coms are trying to twist the telling in the drama of its situation as of suburban towns. Shows like much as it’s grounded in comSuburgatory and The Neighbors edy. Sheila and Joel rift with each (both programs on ABC) have tried other about the absurdity of their and ultimately failed to keep a situation, and Abby constantly long standing impression on their gives them shit when they succeed viewers while they aired. Suburban and when they fail. satires definitely aren’t new, but Abby rightfully takes a backSanta Clarita Diet manages to stay seat for most of season one. When fresh well into its second season. season two rolls around however,

The show is undoubtwe get to see how much the conedly weird in its concept: One stant violence of her parents new day, Sheila (Drew Barrymore) and lifestyle has started to affect her Joel (Timothy Olyphant) find their and how she starts to mirror her peaceful family life thrown into mother. While Eric isn’t necessardisarray when Sheila dies and ily similar to Joel, he does serve as comes back to life craving human a good foil to bring Abby back to flesh. This not only adds tension to reality. The show does try to push their marriage but also their relathese two together, to varying suctionship with their teenage daugh- cess. ter Abby (Liv Hewson). Serving

However, what I think the as an undead consultant is their show does best is balancing the neighbors’ dorky son, Eric (Skynormal with the abnormal. The ler Gisondo). As if being undead show knows that this new condiand forced to kill to survive wasn’t tion Sheila has does change their enough, Sheila and Joel constantly family’s life forever, but it also have to sneak around their cop tries to remind us of how they do neighbors to avoid jail-time. try to live normal lives. A lot of

Santa Clarita Diet is great. the episodes subplots come from It constantly surprises with how it Sheila and Joel trying to balance chooses to progress its story. While the activities of a normal suburthere are some floating mysteries ban couple with constantly needaround Sheila’s new condition, ing to commit murder and discovthe show knows not to spend too er the truth of Sheila’s condition. much time there, because ultiAs season two ends, there’s still mately it’s about Joel and Sheila. a looming threat over the HamTheir marriage may not have been monds as well as a new situation perfect before, but they’re dedicat- they must deal with, and I can’t ed to each other. The first season wait to see how my favorite Santa established how far they’ll go for Clarita couple deals with it in a each other. Season two is about third season. seeing how much they’ll be able to do for each other.

Santa Clarita Diet, Season 2

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“A ll

NS. PROSE&CONS. PROSE&

A

Prose & Cons

21

Engaged

by: Courtney Ravelo

She says it in passing, like an errand she forgot to mention “He got engaged” Engaged, you repeat with your mouth The word tastes silly against your tongue, So foreign and unused and blasphemous Engaged, you say again Not liking the sound of the g against the d Or the e against the n To whom?

You regret the question before you ask it.

She pulls up a picture of her.

Her name is Angela.

She has her arms wrapped around him And it feels as though they’re wrapped around you Too tight, squeezing skin against fabric until you can’t breathe Oh, you manage to muster She dated him too and yet she’s not upset because she has someone else But you?

Have been alone since him.

Have felt nothing since him.

Have been waiting for him.

He got engaged at the age and place that he said he was going to do with you You feel your brain splintering into a kaleidoscope of colors, with reds taking over after a minute, not letting you see You feel the sting of your tears prick the corners of your eyes Just before they spring, Jumping from your tear ducts the same way you wanted to jump once, Reaching your lips before you can say “oh” again but this time, smaller

BUZZSAW: The Coffee Issue

You feel the panic coming on, A while since this has happened, Your medication keeping you from experiencing these like you used to But not preventing them entirely.

The oxygen you’re taking into your lungs suddenly feels unfiltered Your bronchi can’t fathom the particles in front of you And you can feel your lungs collapsing Landing in the cavern of your stomach Deflating like stale balloons as they sink into your hip bones You are floating now Gripping onto the kitchen table in front of you for dear life Your bare hands just barely keeping you in your body When the strings keeping you here snap like guitar strings being cut The air is gone, The table is gone, Your body is gone, He is gone.

For good.

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Adelina’s Ancient Anthology

by: Lauren Eng

You came to this town in search of a book. Well, many books. Classics, mostly, first editions and originals. Your family didn’t really care what you brought back as long as it fetched either a high price or prestige. Trudging up a steep hill, your messenger bag thumps against your thigh, the books inside safely wrapped in layers of plastic and newspaper.

The rest of your family had left to cover other parts of town: antique shops, flea markets, and used book stores.

All of them would spend the rest of the day haggling. But you, the youngest, were forced to spend a better part of the day embarrassing yourself going door to door, tripping over the short speeches your parents had given you to memorize.

Two books are the goal. At least, that was what you tell yourself as you undid the gate to a regular suburban home. The two books were more than the last time you went out. But the last family you visited, who was not forthcoming with a book, gave you information for another one next door.

“It’s old,” was the only response you got from the old man. “Old and that family guards it well so it must be valuable.”

“We must have seen a dozen of you people trying to buy it in that past year,” his wife added.

There isn’t a doorbell, only an iron knocker in the shape of a lion’s head. You grasp the ring dangling out of a heavily fanged mouth and tap it against the metal plate fixed to the wood.

Clunk Clunk Clunk You hear someone yelling something unintelligible before a curtain by the door is lifted to reveal a pair of narrowed dark eyes. Upon seeing you, the eyes blink and the curtain drops. You hear a lock click and a deadbolt turn before the door is opened by a teenage girl about your age. There’s a smile plastered on her face as her eyes inspect you with suspicion.

“Can I help you?”

“My family is new in town,” you begin, counting fingers off behind your back as you launch into a pre-prepared speech, “and I just wanted to introduce ourselves before—“ “Another magpie,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest. “You’re, what, the third one we’ve had this month?”

Taken aback, you ask, “I’m sorry, what?”

“Never mind, the book’s not for sale.”

Your face drops. You couldn’t go back to your family like this. “…but maybe we could talk about it over dinner,” the girl says with a sigh.

“I would have to check with my family first,” you say, still reeling. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go.

“It’s the only way you’re getting anything off of us,” the girl says. “I know you already swindled the Brooks and McInnis’ today. Not very impressive, mind you. Only second editions and nothing before the 1900s.”

“They’re still good books,” you protest.

“Mine is better,” the girl states with confidence. “Come inside, my mother and I are already tossing food together.”

Walking through the door, the house doesn’t look anything like yours. You grew up in an old Victorian mansion where the creaks and groans of the house settling had lulled you to sleep. The furniture was old, formed for look and not function with thin cushions and hard edges. Most rooms were surrounded by display cases filled with artifacts and antiques. You used to spend long hours as a child wearing latex gloves, flipping through the pages of old books on the floor of the library.

The room you enter is lined with sunken, overstuffed couches with piles of fantasy books are on the coffee tables.

A cheap shelf seems to be set with trinkets from travels: a jar of sea glass and a few conch shells, a bundle of dried flowers in a blue and white porcelain vase, and a picture of the family in front of a random landmark.

This home isn’t a place you expect a rare book to be kept in, much less a relic from ancient times. Above the mantle is a picture frame with a faded black and white photo of an old woman with a wide smile on her face holding a massive leather-bound book.

That’s it, you think. It looks so much like the others kept safe in your bag.

“Who’s in the picture?” you ask the girl.

Read the rest of this piece online at www.buzzsawmag.org Prose & Cons

23

Reality Check

by: Christine McKinnie

How are we supposed to live if everything is YOLO and we all suffer from FOMO? At what point do we stop, slow down, and stand by?

Do we take in the moment to see what can be possible without the need to dive in head first without looking back?

I’ve had my fair share of adventures — going to places and seeing things both good and bad.

Life is supposed to be a journey.

Is there a way to travel along this path without jumping off cliffs?

Is there a way to become a jack-of-all-trades, learning everything?

Should we still hold on to handlebars and guide wires, carving out a path, that won’t lead to regret?

We lie, make our lives into stories — more alternate reality than what we can see with our own two eyes.

We create mountains out of molehills to make people notice the exciting in the mundane.

It all gets you buried in the end.

BUZZSAW: The Coffee Issue

People fall in love but are broken-hearted easily, only to move on to new and exciting people.

We put so much pressure on finding the right person.

But what does it really feel like to be content just with one’s self?

There’s no easy way to cope so we smile through everything, never allowing ourselves to show how we really may feel.

There is a way past this feeling, to express and stay strong, showing that we can do anything but not be crippled by doubt inside.

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Sawdust

AWDUST. SAWDUST. SAWDU

25

I Only Smoke Coffee and Drink Cigarettes How to write sad poems about sadness

By Isabel Murray, Contributing Writer

I

t’s possible that you’ve read a book or a collection of poems and thought, “Hey! I could do that!”

Well, you can’t. Being a writer is incredibly hard. It requires a certain temperament, a certain gift, a certain je ne sais quoi (whatever the hell that means), and it cannot be learned – it has to simply be.

On the other hand, even if I can’t give out tips that would make anyone a better writer – or a writer at all for that matter – I can tell you some of the things that I do to get into the right frame of mind.

I smoke coffee.

I drink cigarettes.

I open the window when it’s cold; I open the fridge and aggressively turn up the air conditioning when it’s hot.

I sit on the cold hard floor and write on an authentic typewriter that once belonged to someone who died tragically.

I strive for authenticity and I found artificial rain sounds online to be too

obviously fake, so I’ve hired a man to sit in a dark corner of my room and play the rain stick for me.

I down half a shot of cheap vodka.

I burn candles that smell like earth and decay.

Before I sit down to write, I prepare the room by lowering the temperature using whatever means necessary (see above). Once the room reaches a temperature similar enough to my cold, unfeeling heart, I spray the windows with water to simulate the aesthetic of a rainy day. The rain is crucial because it subconsciously evokes memories of anytime I’ve ever cried, which is excellent fodder for poetry.

I find it best to smoke my coffee grounds while my cigarette is steeping in my “Every Day Is a Rainy Day” mug. That way, I’ll have already chainsmoked two espressos by the time my cigarette tea finishes steeping, sits out for a bit, and becomes cold. At this point, it’s time for me to sigh forlornly and snap at my rain-stick man to pick

up the pace. I’m considering hiring someone to create thunder with sheet metal because Larry just isn’t keeping up the illusion of a thunderstorm anymore, but I digress.

If you are already a writer by birth and you find that these tips don’t work for you, remember: it’s about evoking a vibe. To write my sad poems about sadness, I have to be feeling a certain sort of way. I have to feel sad, poetic, poetically sad and sadly poetic. To measure this, I use my Poetic Sadness Graph™. It can chart sadness and poeticness on an easily followable scale and will be available in the inside cover of my upcoming book of poetry: How to Live with Your Mother When The World Makes You Ache, which will be available worldwide by the end of the century. __________________________________ Isabel Murray is a second-year writing major who burns all of their poems immediately after finishing them. You can reach them at imurray@ithaca.edu.

Students Really Hate Using Stairs Ithaca College removes all stairs from campus in response

By Christine McKinnie, Web Editor

BUZZSAW: The Coffee Issue

I

thaca College announced yesterday that it will be getting rid of all stairs as a way of decreasing the amount effort students have to put into walking up and down.

This announcement comes after a three-month petition and strikes made by the students, led by junior biology major Kara Swartz. Swartz started the petition after she broke her leg falling down the stairs on her way to class one morning.

Her petition was met with hostility on the side of the administration, including Thomas Klein, vice president of student affairs. Klein claimed students needed the exercise and there is not much they could do, as the college was situated on a hill.

Faculty and staff were supportive of Swartz and other students’ protests.

Professors like Maya Nicols pointed out many faculty members have offices on the top floors of academic buildings, making it a hike to get to their office everyday.

After Klein’s statement, student out-

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cry increased. Protests started and students demanded the school take action to get rid of stairs now. The protests accumulated in a student walkout on February 17, where Swartz and other students gave speeches on the dangers of stairs. As a part of the protest, students sat down in front of the stairs instead of using them. These protests made national news, lighting a fire under the administration to do something about the issue.

Construction is underway to replace the stairs with slides and escalators, as well as to add working elevators to every building on campus. While the construction is taking place, students are being required to use ladders to get up and down floors. Students seem to find the ladders more convenient and have used them to play practical jokes on the construction workers.

Senior Jason Miller expressed his excitement for the forthcoming escalators, saying he doesn’t always have the stamina or energy to get from the bottom of the hill to the top on a daily

basis.

“Cornell has buses to get them everywhere, so why should we be forced to climb up a hill,” Miller said after the construction was announced.

Swartz has encouraged other colleges to take the path Ithaca College is on. She points out escalators and elevators are better for students who have asthma and those who might not be able to climb flights of stairs. She said she wants to make sure no student has to walk up stairs on crutches again, something she faced after she broke her leg.

No statement has been made about whether the college will increase the time between classes to accommodate the additional time it will take for students using escalators, but a response is expected in the next few weeks. ____________________________________ Christine McKinnie is a third-year emerging media major whose least favorite gym equipment is the StairMaster. You can reach them at cmkinnie@ ithaca.edu.

My Journey into Veganism As told by Darius, the Vampire

By Kimberly Caceci, Prose & Cons Editor

Day 1 Hello, Journal. It is I, Darius Mihai, Vistier under the reign of Alexandru Ioan Cuza, writing to you through this intricate and intriguing screen of the digital contraption. It is strange, I must confess, to record such thoughts with this mode but nevertheless I find myself able to adapt to the times just as I have done since Romania.

I write to you, my Journal, during a time in which I find myself desiring to cleanse my soul of my past from when I was once living. I have made the honorable decision to swear off the bloodthirsty and barbaric, albeit enticing, practice of drinking one’s delicious blood from their body.

Today is the first day I hold myself accountable for my past actions against the living and strive towards a better, moral future.

Day 82 Greetings my friend. I wish to stop for a moment to write to you about my progress with my fasting of all blood. I must commend myself for my actions thus far. You see, my Journal, I was walking along the concrete roads when I came across an infant riding a colorful running machine. Suddenly, the infant fell off and crashed rather harshly onto the ground. The child screeched horrifically and it gave me a nasty headache, I must admit to you.

But as I drew near the fallen child, I smelled the luring metal scent and saw the sweet crimson liquid fall from the child’s knees and elbows. Oh, how I wanted to act upon my bloody desires.

Nevertheless I restrained myself when a lady came rushing out to help the poor child. All but applaud me, my Journal, for I am too modest to receive such praise.

Day 135 My dear Journal, I come at a time in which I would like to update you

BUZZSAW

Do people make coffee so complicated?

I avoided drinking coffee for a long time. I drank caffeine, but usually in the form of soda. I wasn’t worried about coffee making me jittery or the taste or anything like that.

I was mostly put off by the excessive number of options.

So many times I would be in a coffee shop and look up at the menu. I was confronted by big scary words like cappuccino, latte, espresso (which I pronounced as “expresso” for years), café au lait, mocha, dark roast, light roast. I’d see

I want to go vegan. But nevertheless, I shall prevail against the enemy.

Day 68432 My journal, I am in need of your guidance.

Day 285636 I… can… no longer…

Day 285637 I have realized, Journal, that a problem does not live in me but in the entirety of vampire kind. They are the source of my agony and everlasting pain. How dare they put pressure on my morality of drinking blood and become a foul creature like themselves or to remain any shred of humanity we have after our first turn. Perhaps I should just disassociate myself with the corrupt society that makes up that community.

Day 288621 Journal, I must write a confession to you I can take nowhere else, as the only other place wishes to stake me in the heart if they were learn of my true identity. I have failed you, Journal, as my only wish was to show everyone of the good left in my soul. But now I have completely blackened and find no ability for redemption. I was so ashamed and sickened, I even retched up the metallic liquid when a drop grazed my tongue.

To any outsider, I will still hold face and remain the model young vampires need. But I hold a dark secret no one must utter again. To this I bid you adieu.

Your once faithful companion, Darius Mihai _____________________________________ Kimberly Caceci is a second-year writing major who tried veganism for a couple days but thought it was too much effort. You can reach them at kcaceci@ithaca.edu.

this and just think, “Fuck it, I can’t be bothered with this nonsense.”

I think part of my frustration was due to my lacking coffee vocabulary. Through research, I have discovered a latte is just coffee and steamed milk, whatever steamed milk is. A mocha is coffee flavored chocolate milk. I thought espresso was just extra caffeinated coffee but, apparently, that’s a misconception. Dark roast and light roast continue to

puzzle me but the good news is you can ignore all of this. You can honestly walk up and order a plain coffee and they’ll just give it to you. Easy as that!

The question that still remains is why is it so complicated. The anti-climatic answer is I have no idea. Maybe people feel fancy to drink something really pretty with an unusual name.

Maybe some people are just really particular about what they drink.

Nothing against them. It’s just not for me.

Your editor in ordering a regular damn coffee, Will Cohan

Sawdust

ASKS WHY…

on my position to never drinking the main source of my diet ever again.

My progression seems to continue smoothly. But I must admit to you, my friend, of a step in my plan, as I could never lie to you. I have discovered that my senses have heightened since my declaration to be free of that sinful act.

As I walk through the town with the rest of civilization around, I notice that I can hear the villagers’ heartbeat, the flow of their blood through their veins as each breath, each step they take their glorious muscle pumps the thing I wish and live most for. But alas! I used to live for the blood of men. This century is a new day for me to live for something else. I have successfully withheld for 135 days; I can make it many more moons.

I don’t understand Edward’s problem of sustaining life without blood or even endangering those around him. It is not such a difficult task, he just lacked the willpower to control himself! Those vegetarians think they are better than the rest of us. I will show them and those ladies that do nothing but swoon over the mention of that family. I will show them all being vegetarian isn’t as pure as swearing off blood for all creatures.

Day 4653 Journal, I apologize for my late reply as it has been a struggle abstaining from the liquid that sirens me close.

Even now as I write, I can sense blood—I mean the human creatures that hold delicious—I mean I can hear humans from miles away.

I decided that the best course of action for me would be to seclude myself in an area as far away from the temptation. I am surrounded by nothing but green, but do you know what compliments the color green, my dear Journal? The color red. Curse me, I must stop these thoughts when

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coffee

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Sawdust

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cake

BUZZSAW BUZZSAW: Roots Issue

Muffins Corrupting American Youth Police and teachers speak out against misuse of baked goods

By Christine McKinnie, Web Editor

“Think of the muffins as another version of the cinnamon or tide pod challenges, and not so much as a debate about what is right or wrong,” Miller said.

“Students do what they want to do and at the end of the day, our only responsibility is to make sure they can express themselves in a way true to who they are.”

School superintendent Miles Rodgers pointed out his worries in a recent State Of Our Schools speech. He pointed out that because muffins are just ugly cupcakes. According to Rodgers, the existence of muffins teaches the students to accept inadequacy and become underachievers. Recent standardized test scores seem to confirm this suspicion.

Math scores have dropped by nearly fifty percent since this epidemic began. English scores have reached a record low – coming in at nearly eighty percent less than only two years ago.

Students seem to be questioning the legitimacy of the claims by their elders, but the evidence against them is astronomical. __________________________________ Christine McKinnie is a third-year emerging media major who tries to steer clear of the muffin crowd. You can reach them at cmckinnie@ithaca. edu

ASKS WHY… Satire threatening the magazine’s credibility since 1856.

Another day, another two hundred students drop out of school due to the muffin epidemic. Teachers from all over the country report their students come face-to-face with these frostingless cupcakes and lose. In Michigan, lawmakers have proposed a bill to ban muffins from schools, but with little success.

“The problem is students find ways to smuggle them in, or are able to find them outside the school yard,” Michigan State Senator Don Fez said.

Fez pointed out that muffins were turning into the new pot brownies, giving students the ability to smuggle in pot and heroin without the consequences of being caught selling drugs.

Parents at Michigan schools have pointed out that their children had started asking to use the kitchen, something unbeknown of teenagers. Their children bake dozens and dozens of muffins, laced with enough drugs to take down an entire city.

“We must take back our kitchens and stop these children before they are forced to go through a painful withdrawal,” a parent, Sandra Mason, said.

Principal Dan Ventro commented that students were selling muffins to their peers at alarming rates, causing the drug riddled food to course through the veins of the school itself.

“There must be a way to stop this epidemic,” Ventro said.

Students appear to be using the muffins as defensive weapons against one another. Police chief Ransa Pablo assures citizens that those using muffins as weapons “will be charged to the fullest for their actions.” Pablo said no one has died from the weaponry, but she is sure any deaths will be treated as suspicious.

Proponents of muffins in schools strike back just as hard. Colin Miller, a ninth grade English teacher at Point Park High School in Lansing, Michigan, argues this muffin epidemic is just another way for students to express themselves.

30 Do cakes have layers?

Everyday, the truth behind cake continues to elude me. On the outside, a cake is a cylindrical or cubic dessert coated in frosting. On the outside, it appears to be one solid object, sweet, spongy cake through and through. But upon cutting into a cake, one will find it actually composed of multiple layers.

Why is this?

One possible reason for the structure of cakes would be the convenience in baking them. When completing any kind of project, including baking a cake, it’s easier to approach the task in parts rather than doing it all at once. However, this answer is much too practical so I think it’s kind of a cop-out. I need to dig deeper.

To explore the meaning of a cake’s layers, I think we have to know what it means to have layers. If something has layers, it is often more elaborate than most people realize. If a person is layered, then the personality they show to the world is different than what’s on the inside. Without a doubt, this logic can be applied to cakes as well as people. I think cakes are more complicated beings than most people realize

This raises the question of why cupcakes don’t also have layers.

Are cupcakes simply not real cakes?

Does a cupcake’s simpler structure devalue it in some way? I don’t think so. I like to believe cupcakes are just a less mature version of regular-sized cakes. Cupcakes don’t have the life experience and wisdom of normal cakes, so they don’t have more than one layer. The same can be said about trees or onions. So the next time you wonder about a cake’s layers, it might be beneficial to think about the cake’s life experience and what we can learn as a result.

Your editor in over-analyzing everything, Will Cohan

BUZZSAW: The Cake Issue

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New Restaurant Opens in Ithaca Literally everything is served smushed into a mason jar

By Isabel Murray, Contributing Writer

A

new Ithacan restaurant, Stuffed, opened last Friday in The Commons.

The company is using new and innovative s u s t a i n a b i l i t y techniques to reduce waste. Instead of using plates, bowls and cups— which can produce spillage— the company takes your order and mushes the entire meal into a mason jar of adequate size, complete with a leak-proof cap.

If you bring in your own jars from home, instead of purchasing a new one at the restaurant, you’re given a “0.25% OFF” coupon, good for the next two days, upon purchase.

The waste that the restaurant produces is entirely recyclable and eco-friendly. They even take care to go through their trash and fish out all the jars that patrons have thrown out whole, after posting a photo of the meal on Instagram. The new restaurant is very thankful for the free publicity.

The jars are not just for sustainable eating, however. They’re also for sustainable design.

The light bulbs, candle holders, tip jar, afterdinner mint dish and trash bins are mason jars. Even the urinals in the bathrooms have been replaced with jars. The urinal jars are emptied at least once every three hours into the “In-House Garden” – a lot in the back of the restaurant by the dumpster, where the owner plans to use the soon-fertile soil to plant a couple of lilies and maybe a begonia.

“We could plant some basil out there, or cilantro, I guess,” said the owner, Ed Paulsen. “But I don’t know how I feel about using something that comes out of the ground, ya know?

Seems pretty unclean. We just buy our greens from the supermarket and spray them with a little extra pesticide. You know, to be safe.”

Paulson first came across the idea for “Stuffed” when he was 6. At that age, Paulson was given a mason jar full of small chocolates as a Valentine’s

Day gift from a classmate. He began stuffing the jar full of anything he could.

“I kept plenty of shit in there,” says Paulson. “Shoelaces, bugs, Oreos, pencil shavings, trading cards… you name it.” The story of how he built his jar-stuffing resume is packed with jarring twists and turns, and deserves more time than this piece will allow. If you’d like to hear the full interview with Paulson, please take a listen to his new podcast, Stuff It. You can also check out our Facebook for a satisfying video of one of their chefs packing a chicken salad sandwich, a dill pickle, coleslaw, a red velvet cupcake, and a caramel macchiato into a single jar before sealing it up and writing the person’s name on the jar in lead paint. __________________________________ Isabel Murray is a second-year writing major who likes to eat spaghetti out of a wine glass. You can reach them at imurray@ithaca.edu.

Christian Senator Outed as a Lover of Devil’s Food Cake Tearfully resigns from office

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By Will Cohan, Sawdust Editor

ne week ago, Mississippi Senator Patrick Bakerson was caught by his secretary passionately eating devil’s food cake in his office. This revelation came as a shock to his supporters and the nation as a whole and has since been seen as a scandal for the senator and his staff.

In the past, Sen. Bakerson has focused his role as senator on promoting traditional Christian values. He has given numerous passionate speeches condemning homosexuality and the teaching of evolution in public schools.

However, what he is most known for is his hatred of devil’s food cake.

One year ago, Sen. Bakerson was quoted saying, “The prevalence of devil’s food cake in America is a crime against God and what this country stands for. I will not stand by and watch as this wonderful nation is corrupted by the Devil’s chocolaty temptation. This disgusting cake has no business in a Christian country and all bakeries selling it should

be shut down.”

Abigail Jones, Sen. Bakerson’s secretary, described the incident to us. She explained, “I opened the door to his office and saw him there. He was just shoveling whole pieces of the devil’s cake into his mouth. It was horrifying. I can’t believe it. I always thought he was a decent man. I never knew he could sink so low.”

This afternoon, Sen. Bakerson gave a speech publicly apologizing for his actions. He stated, “I’m truly sorry for my actions. I’ve tried to be a model citizen for this country but I’ve failed you. I’ve given into the temptation of Satan.” Sen. Bakerson began to cry before continuing, “I’ve secretly been a lover of devil’s food cake my entire life.” He then apologized again to American citizens, Christian bakers around the country, and angel food cake.

Sen. Bakerson ended his speech by resigning from office saying, “I can no longer perform my duties in good conscience. I need to spend time to heal myself and rebuild my relationship with angel food cake. I ask that you all pray

for me in this difficult time.” Many of Sen. Bakerson’s supporters have turned against him, saying he betrayed the country; while others are hoping he finds help. Many supporters simply don’t believe the scandal and say the whole thing is a liberal conspiracy.

Not everyone was surprised by Sen. Bakerson’s secret love of devil’s food cake. Chris Thompson, one of Sen. Bakerson’s interns, stated, “I always kind of suspected that he liked devil’s food cake.

He was always so angry about it, like he had an obsession. I mean, it’s just cake.

I don’t know why he would care so much if he didn’t secretly love it.”

Many devil’s food enthusiasts around the nation were quoted saying, “I knew it.” __________________________________ Will Cohan is a third-year cinema and photography major who refuses to vote for anyone that likes carrot cake. You can reach them at wcohan@ithaca.edu.

Scientists Create First “Micro Cupcake”

It consists of nineteen molecules and is completely worthless

Will Cohan, Sawdust Editor

T

and add some more details. But that probably defeats the purpose of it being a micro cupcake.”

The lab also explained its inspiration for attempting this ambitious project.

Smithward explained, “Well, most science is a really slow and boring process.

Unless the results are exciting, it’s hard to get people interested.

And people really like cupcakes, so that’s what we did.” Based on the overwhelming public response, it looks like this lab made the right choice. People do love cupcakes, after all.

Smithward also seemed more than willing to share the culinary secret with the rest of the baking community, saying, “Sure, let ‘em have it. It’s not really a secret. I don’t give a shit.” Everyone is anticipating the next development in cupcake science.

Smithward responded, “Sure. I mean, we could be putting money into cancer research. But whatever, more cupcakes. Fine.” __________________________________ Will Cohan is a third-year cinema and photography major who loves eating food that can’t be seen or tasted. You can reach them at wcohan@ithaca. edu.

Sawdust

he world rejoiced this weekend as the Institute for Molecular Engineering announced a breakthrough in one of its labs. Through careful research and countless hours of work, the team has assembled the world’s first “micro cupcake.” The scientists involved described the creation as being “composed of exactly nineteen sucrose molecules and absolutely fucking worthless.”

Buzzsaw decided to investigate to find out exactly what this means for the future of cupcakes.

The lab’s director, Frederick Smithward, explained to us, “Honestly, who even cares? It’s a cupcake. Not even a cupcake. It’s just some sugar molecules put together to look like a cupcake.

You can’t even really eat it.” With enthusiasm like this, it’s hard not to get excited about the new confection.

When we asked to see the micro cupcake, the lab was happy to let us take a look. The cupcake, which can only be seen under an extremely powerful microscope, is a two-dimensional shape. It consists of three rows of four sugar molecules stacked under one row of five molecules under a row of two, taking the basic shape of a cupcake. Marissa Simmons, designer of the shape, commented, “Yeah, I guess it kinda looks like a cupcake. I don’t know; I’m not an artist.”

Bakers around the world are excited to begin selling micro cupcakes in their shops. Adam Flourman, a bakery owner, stated, “I really can’t wait. This is the cupcake I never knew I needed in my life. I don’t even care if it’s microscopic and I can’t see it. I just feel better knowing a micro cupcake exists in the world. The fact helps me sleep at night.”

On the subject of the future of cupcake research, the lab discussed some possibilities.

Simmons suggested, “Well, we can make the cupcake a little bigger

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Sawdust

AWDUST. SAWDUST. SAWDU

33

BUZZSAW: The Cake Issue

Sweet Tooth

by: Dariene Seifert

Before his big day, I was invited to Dave’s bachelor party at a rented penthouse by the shore. I thought we would hang out on the beach and enjoy the calmness of the waves and sunset. But I knew I was wrong when I arrived at the party in the late evening.

I could feel the vibration of the pumping music from outside. Taking a deep breath, I rang the doorbell. The front door swung open with great force and I was face to face with Dave, his goofy smile shined and his hand strongly clasped a glass filled with brown liquor. “Hey, Vincent! Glad you could make it! C’mon in!”

As I walked in, friends greeted me in a tipsy stupor, constantly giggling at their own giddy antics. Dave attempted to hand me a beer but spilled most of it onto the floor.

“Sorry about that,” he slurred. The others shrugged and sipped from their glasses.

I also ignored the spill and grabbed the half-filled cup. I let the party ambience slowly suck me in and eventually I joined the drunken foolery.

When the doorbell rang, Dave jerked his head toward the door and sheepishly smiled. “Our ‘surprise’ is here…”

Before I could ask Dave anything, the three-tiered white cake exploded and a woman dressed in black panties and bra appeared. The guys cheered, making dog-like sounds and ogling over her.

“Hi,” she cooed. She was beautiful with her golden hair and doleful eyes. I just stared at the wall, not sure how to react to all of this. Somehow, I managed to block out the guys’ whooping and drooling and the woman’s “sexy talk”. But it sounded unusual like she was nervous instead of excited. They didn’t care; they all got lap dances and slapped her behind. Frozen in my seat, I dug my fingers into my knees, the room becoming a kaleidoscopic blur. My heart was about to burst out of my chest when I realized she was heading over to me. I tried to say I had too much to drink, but all I heard was slurring.

The guys’ cheering burst into my ears as my turn began; my body was rigid as she did her routine.

She timidly asked, “What’s your name handsome?”

“Vincent.” My eyes remained glued to the wall behind her.

“Ooo, I like that name.”

“Thanks…”

She danced a little more and I collapsed with relief when she went back to entertain the others. My stomach began reject the alcohol and I ran into the bathroom to throw up as the room turned pitch black; I passed out.

I woke up again with a pounding headache. Glancing at the clock, it read 4:03 a.m. I knew I wasn’t going to fall back asleep, so I went on a search for aspirin.

After checking the empty cabinet, I begrudgingly headed downstairs. I was not surprised when I saw my friends passed out on the sofas and the fancy carpet. Just as I was about to enter the other bathroom, a cry rung out.

Curious, I traced the cry to the front entrance. I was taken aback when I discovered the woman from the cake.

She was trying her hardest to contain her sobs. Her eyes were rimmed with crimson, and she was only wearing a faux fur coat and black stilettos.

Standing in uncertainty, I finally said something, “Hi... What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

She looked at me with scared eyes. “I’m sorry. I-I just want to go home, but I don’t have a ride. I would’ve called a taxi, but...” She tilted her head down and stared at her outfit. “I’m not really wearing anything.” Cheeks glowing red with humiliation, she began to cry again.

I ended up in a mental battle of whether or not I should kick her out. I didn’t ask her to show up, but then again no one else was conscious to help. Before I could stop myself, I blurted, “I’ll take you home.”

Her eyes sparked with gratitude, but she was hesitant to grab my hand. We headed out and I ignored my headache as we drove off. She told me her address and the rest of the car ride was followed by silence. I wanted to attempt at small talk but became nervous when I saw her leaning the window, shedding tears.

I pulled up and right before she could leave, I asked, “What’s your name?”

“Elena,” she whispered.

“That’s a pretty name.”

“Thank you.”

Elena hopped out of the car. She took a few steps, turned suddenly towards me, smiled, and sadly waved. “Thanks for the ride, Vincent.”

When she disappeared from my sight, I couldn’t help but think that her smile was just as hollow as the cake she popped out of.

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Prose & Cons

ONS. PROSE&CONS. PROSE&C

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Do you remember the first time you gave a blowjob? If you’re like me and your years of Catholic school made you too guilty to watch porn, you went in cold. How does this thing work? Is it supposed to do that?

The first time I gave a blowjob was approximately an hour before I volunteered at a nursing home.

This is just the first of many sexual incongruencies that have continued throughout my life. Because I’m Type A and anal as hell, I had planned it out. I remember texting my thenboyfriend and letting him now that I was DTS — down to suckhisdick.

The catch, of course, is that I had no fucking clue what I was doing.

I barely even knew what a penis looked like (see above: Catholic guilt). So when he pulled down his boxers and that sprung out, I was like, “Shit, this looks a lot more like the Sandworm from Dune than anything else.”

We only had an hour before we had to go volunteer with old people, so naturally, I got right to the point.

Foreplay who? I wasn’t sure what I was doing, but I had read several fanfictions, so I kind of did, right? I decided a fun and sexy thing to do would be to bite his dick. You see, I had no idea how anatomy worked, and I thought that would show how experienced and seasoned of a sexual partner I was.

I did not expect, however, for him to say, “Um, can you like… not bite my dick?”

I looked up, shocked. “Why not?”

“Because now it like… hurts.”

Needless to say, the ride to the nursing home was a silent one.

Though I got better at giving head, it never got any less onerous. Honestly, there is nothing less rewarding that requires more effort than sucking a dick. No matter how much you love the dick you’re sucking, your mind starts to wander. Remember that time in fifth grade when I called my teacher dad? Did you leave your curling iron plugged in? Where do we go when we die?

Once, nearly two years later after

Do you remember?

Anonymous

my disastrous first blowjob, my mind wandered so far that I cried.

In my defense, my cat had died two weeks prior, and I hadn’t had time to, “Process his death.” I was giving a guy a blowjob, and everything was going well, until I started sobbing.

Power through, I told myself. If you can get through the fact that this guy listed Clerks as one of his favorite movies, you can get through this.

I tried to stifle my tears, and I did a pretty good job of it. That is, until he looked down and noticed I was, in fact, crying straight into his penis.

Blowjobs are inherently awkward and messy. It’s like watching a dog try to eat ice cream. If you’ve never given a blow job, just take my word for it on this metaphor.

But, weirdly, blowjobs are kind of sweet. There’s no activity that requires more vulnerability from both parties. You’re really putting yourself out there. Good job, champ.

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Movie Review

RAW SAW FROM THE

A Quiet Place Kimberly Caceci Prose & Cons Editor

BUZZSAW: The Cake Issue

“If they hear you, they hunt you,” is the description for the movie A Quiet Place, and I would think it’s safe to say that most people will not have the problem of someone talking in the theater during this film.

A Quiet Place takes place in the year 2020 where almost the entire population of humans has been wiped out due to an attack from blind creatures with a high-sensitivity to sound.

The film follows the story of one family: wife and husband, Evelyn Abbott (Emily Blunt) and Lee Abbott (John Krasinski), and their three children, Regan (Millicent Simmonds), Marcus (Noah Jupe), and Beau (Cade Woodward). The reason the Abbott family has survived for so long is because instead of speaking, they use American Sign Language to communicate, as Regan is deaf and uses a cochlear implant. Throughout this film, two questions are raised for the Abbott family: how do they protect each other and what is the creatures’ weakness?

I took a cinema production class my freshman year of college in which my professor told us, “There

is no such thing as a silent film.”

However, A Quiet Place challenges everything we know about sound.

The film varies with the sound, or lack thereof throughout the film, in order to show the different perspectives of the characters and action in that scene. Many times, Simmonds character would be the single focus point in a shot and there would be no sound, forcing the audience to question if the sound system was broken or their hearing was off. Then, on the flip side, in the moments where the blind creatures attacked or when Krasinski’s and Jupe’s characters were by the river, the sound levels almost seemed too high because the preceding and following noises were so contrasting; the viewers could even consider this contrast jarring. But I liked this element because it kept me on the edge of my seat. I wasn’t scared, but I was rooting for the family to win at the end.

A Quiet Place is one of the few films I didn’t need to have closed captioning glasses, a fact that I appreciated. As a person who is Hard-of-Hearing and knows American Sign Language, I was excited that the director chose to hire a Deaf actor and use ASL, not as a necessity but as a fact of life before the apocalypse began.

My major problem with this film, though, is that the framing of shots prevented me from seeing the signs. Instead of shooting waist up, as one should to get the signs, the shots were shoulders and up.

Another question I have for the film is the use of Simmonds’ character’s cochlear implant as the symbol and reason for the future survival of the human race.

These blind and sound sensitive creatures hate technological

feedback at high frequencies--as anyone who wears a hearing aid or cochlear implant would and does.

There are still many debates within the Deaf community over cochlear implantation, a controversy even briefly portrayed in the movie. So the fact that the cochlear implant is what distracts the creatures enough to kill them makes me question the stance the director has on cochlear implants.

After watching the movie, I have came to one conclusion: if we were to come to an attack with sound sensitive creature, I know I would want to align myself with the Abbott family.

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He even goes so far as to say these rebels will be outdated before they even begin, and maybe this is what makes them the “real rebels.” I’m not sure how much The Bachelor upholds this rebellious nature, but there is definitely something to be said for a changing landscape that dares to just put content on the screen, not wiggle around and hide it in the subtext.

Not everything is so black and white. Ironic or sweet. Some films fall in between, a lot like most people do, which in my opinion makes them even more post-postmodern and closer to truth. Take for example the film Lady Bird. The main character embodies angst: a suburban white girl with big dreams centered in the big city.

She is bumbling and charming and repulsive and naïve. She embodies postmodernist film with detached yet ironically invested persona. She is smarter than her parents. Her classmates. All of Sacramento and everyone in the movie theatre. And at points this gets as nauseating as what Fick describes as 90s irony.

Except, where Lady Bird crosses an interesting intersection is poking fun at postmodernism and its detached irony while presenting us with this character and this movie that in its presentation is postmodern.

No spoilers, but Lady Bird makes a transition that I think marks the same transition that film is taking.

Drowning in her angst and last night’s alcohol poisoning, she comes to terms with this obstacle that makes new sincerity in film possible: feelings.

She calls her family. Standing alone in America’s biggest city, she leaves a voicemail. She realizes that it is okay to care and have these feelings about what her life is and who she is without falling victim to melodrama.

Lady Bird’s monologue on her parents’ answering machine, to me, sits cozily on the corner of sweet moments and ironic imagery — an intersection I think we will all be seeing more of in film and can already see from filmmakers like Wes Anderson and Sophia Coppola.

I guess now it’s cool to drop the cynicism and pick up on the sweet. I hope we continue. Because frankly, we should stop being ironic and thinking that makes everything edgy. Let’s try genuineness―Lady Bird did and scored a nomination for Best Picture.

Try telling a joke and getting a laugh because it’s funny, not because it’s so horribly unfunny. Self-aware anti-comedy is so 90s, and not cute

Jennifer Aniston 90s. It’s robotic and stagnant.

Film isn’t about being ironically detached and above it all. Film is about humanity, and it’s okay for humanity (preferred, even) to be genuine.

One last question, then class is dismissed: why does any of this matter?

Being angsty is kind of lame.

Especially in film where we’re working toward better understanding ourselves through this universal experience called life. Life is film.

And film is about storytelling, and storytelling is necessary for humans to make sense of their world. So let’s try being straightforward with our storytelling and stop making people so uncomfortably distant from humanity.

There’s something innately human about sincerity, and there is something human about stories on screen. And I think it’s okay to have both together.

Maybe it even makes us rebels! Yawn. __________________________________ Jordan Szymanski is a first-year Writing for Film, TV, and Emerging Media major who unironically loves white-text Facebook mom memes. You can reach them @ jszymanski@ithaca.edu

Ministry of Cool

A simple example of postpostmodern media that might be easier to digest is Glee. To sum it all up, an article titled “Sincerely Ours” in Wired mentions Rachel Berry, our favorite diva, proclaiming, “There is nothing ironic about show choir” in the pilot episode. So Rachel Berry birthed New Sincerity? Not exactly.

But as the article explains, sincerity is in, and irony is out.

Post-postmodernism is a laissezfaire type of “anything goes” when it comes to what we see on screen, so long as it is “pure” or “real.” Sure, throw a handful of 20-somethings playing high school kids in a classroom and let them sing. Sure, make a human fall in love with a vampire and a werewolf, then give it a franchise.

So long as it just is. Not could be this or should be that, but just is. Like Angela Watercutter for Wired points out, “It seems a generation of ironists is finally running out of steam.” The days of sneaking off on Monday nights to guilty-binge The Bachelor are long gone. Guilty pleasures are totally normalized and mainstream — or in Twilight’s case — $300-million-dollar franchises (nothing about that number is ironic.)

Why the change?

Who knows. Some point to the geeky-but-cool fad of even the popular kids liking comic books and wearing knee-high socks with flooded jeans as the culprit. Others like Jesse Hawthorne Ficks, a film professor at the Academy of Art University in San Francisco, are just plain exhausted of outsmarting the movies. She writes for Wired that “There was this very strong sense in the ‘90s of irony, of everyone being in the theater and being really ironically funny, and [thinking] that they were smarter than the movie.... It just seems played out to me.”

To be fair, without postmodernist film, we wouldn’t have a culture of media that hangs its hat on subjective perspective and signs and means. And maybe without this unapologetically aware lens for film, we wouldn’t be able to move toward this new sincerity of saying what we mean and meaning what we say in our mediums.

David Foster Wallace, the man cited for coining the term “New Sincerity” and breaking down his definitions of what it means for film and other media, says that the new “rebels” will be ones “who treat of plain old untrendy human troubles and emotions in U.S. life with reverence and conviction.”

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It’s Cool To Be Sweet: New Sincerity in Film Pulp Fiction posters are out. Telling your friends you love them is in.

By Jordan Szymanski, Staff Writer

I

think somewhere along the line, it became cool to be detached and self-aware. Film theorists call this phase of metatextual art postmodernism. This type of cinema breaks down typical narrative structure and conventional characterization. It plays off of the audience’s suspension of disbelief, meaning it does not revel in a world that is defined by war, revolution, economy, but rather in media culture.

According to The Atlantic, Postmodernist film is interested in contradiction, fragmentation, and instability .

Okay so, what does this mean for—as

the kids say—the culture?

Well, without postmodernism in comedy, we wouldn’t have dank memes, which are by nature postmodern: ironic and self-conscious.

What are dank memes for the parents in the back?

Dank memes are memes that make fun of other memes. It’s a postmodernist approach to comedy, liking something for how awfully unlikable it is. Really, your grandpa invented dank memes decades ago with the “why did the chicken cross the road” joke, but we’ll give it to Twitter for the sake of consistency.

Is something so awful it’s actually funny what we still want, or dare we try to actually be funny?

The New Sincerity film movement might be trying to answer that. And so, begins, post-postmodernism.

For all those folks as confused as I was when I first learned about new sincerity in film, let me try to break it down for you.

What the hell is postpostmodernism?

Postpostmodernism is heavy, film-buff talk for bringing a little sweet purity back to the screen and leaving some teenage angst irony at the door.

BUZZSAW: The Cake Issue

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Image by Claire McCluskey

BUZZSAW: Dunk Issue

COOL. MINISTRYofCOOL. M

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BUZZSAW: The Cake Issue

A Post 9/11 Feminism

Amani al-Khatahtbeh and the Muslim-American Experience

By Rae Harris, Staff Writer

W

hile feminism represents a withstanding effort to achieve equality between the sexes, the term differs across cultural contexts.

Although feminism is a concept applicable to women around the globe, it’s often mistaken as a Western construct. Western feminists idealize their own form of feminism — one that lacks consideration for women from cultural backgrounds outside of their own.

Because Islamic women are often disregarded in this close-minded Western feminism, some Muslim feminists have discovered their own methods to promote gender equality within societal norms.

Following the Islamophobia that pervaded mainstream culture after the 2001 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center, Muslims were seen differently in American society.

The rights of Muslims diminished tremendously and innocent people were abused and manipulated in a multitude of ways.

In the first chapter of his book, Introducing Islam, William Shepard, an associate professor of Religious Studies at the University of Canterbury, addresses the shift in dynamic between Americans after the terrorist attacks on 9/11. He explains that a great deal of post-9/11 Islamophobia was spawned from negative media coverage of Islamic peoples in America, not strictly Muslims.

This generated a stigma which linked Muslims to violence and other acts of terror. Shepard continues to discuss how Christians specifically ignore parts of their religion which are violent in order to project negative tropes onto Muslim minorities.

He writes, “Christian apologists may contrast Christ’s teachings of love … with violence of Muslim conquest. … downplaying violent Christian history.” Shepard indicates that the

violence within The Bible often goes unaddressed, while violence in The Qur’an are spotlighted in American society to follow this narrative.

This Islamophobia persisted beyond the terrorist attacks. In 2010, Pastor Terry Jones vowed to burn a copy of The Qur’an on the anniversary of 9/11. The same year, antiSharia movements were established across the United States. Hate crimes directed toward MuslimAmericans increased.

In this unsettling time for most Muslims, one Muslim-American feminist emerged a heroine: Amani al-Khatahtbeh.

In 2007, seventeen-year-old alKhatahtbeh was searching for an outlet for the Islamophobia she experienced firsthand. She soon created a blog, MuslimGirl.com, to form connections with other Muslims women. In time, MuslimGirl.com developed into an online magazine for Muslim women in America which publishes content daily.

In a 2016 interview with The Guardian, Al-Khatahtbeh said her commitment to MuslimGirl began as a hobby and shifted to a movement.

She said, “It’s turned into a social movement, one that young women – many of whom are the same age I was when I started it and some of whom don’t even identify as Muslim – are cultivating into something unique to themselves individually.”

MuslimGirl is now the most-read platform for Muslim women’s voices in the country. It has over one million unique readers and a staff of over 50.

However, Islamophobia in America has not diminished. In fact, the New York Times released an article in late 2016 explaining that Islamophobic hate crimes in America increased 78 percent in 2015. Some scholars argue that this is a response to President Donald Trump’s aggressive and derogatory attacks against MuslimAmericans.

While al-Khatahtbeh’s creation of Muslim Girl is not resolving Islamophobia directly, it’s integrating a Muslim’s narrative into Western media. Muslim Girl stands alongside other female-oriented magazines in America, such as Teen Vogue, Seventeen and Cosmopolitan. It is emerging at the forefront of Muslim women’s issues in mainstream coverage. Al-Khatahtbeh is redefining feminism by spreading the Muslim-American experience. By acknowledging her role as a MuslimAmerican in the Trump era, she’s explaining the difficulties of MuslimAmericans that some Americans don’t consider. The magazine has spotlighted a minority group that often goes unaccounted for.

Al-Khatahtbeh’s was granted the Digital Diversity Network Award in partnership with NBCUniversal and the New York City Council Resolution by shifting the media representation of Muslims in America.

Al-Khatahtbeh’s efforts to fight hatred go far beyond her website. In 2016, she released Muslim Girl: A Coming of Age, an in-depth look at her experiences as a Muslim-American after the success of the website.

It was chosen as the Editor’s Pick on the New York Times Bestsellers’ List. She has also worked with MTV for the series “Uncovered,” and often appears on American media outlets such as CNN, BBC, and more.

While no one can defeat the hatred tied to our Islamophobic America, al-Khatahtbeh is working toward equality and taking steps toward feminism in a way that benefits her and people around the globe. AlKhatahtbeh is interconnecting women of every background — redefining feminism. ___________________________________ Kate Nalepinski is a fourth-year journalism major who rips on six-grade hegemonic feminism for free. You can reach them at knalepinski@ithaca. edu.

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success of many Asian Americans

during this time was not solely a product of education.

“Asian Americans — some of them at least — have made tremendous progress in the United States,” Guo writes.

“But the greatest thing that has ever happened to them wasn’t that they studied hard, or that they benefited from tiger moms or Confucian values.

It’s that other Americans started treating them with a little more respect.”

Despite its packaging as a positive stereotype, the model minority myth is just as destructive as any other stereotype. Studies show that mental health issues are more common among Asian American youth than their immigrant parents, yet second-generation Asian Americans are three times less likely to seek out mental health services than their white peers. These mental health issues among young Asian Americans like me are caused by a variety of factors, with one of the most prominent being the high standards and expectations we are asked to meet because of the model minority myth.

Beyond these clear mental health issues is another, more insidious impact of the model minority. At its most innocent, the model minority myth is a complete overgeneralization of the fastestgrowing minority group in the country.

But at its worst, it is a stereotype masquerading as a Trojan horse to uphold white supremacy.

Indeed, one of the causes and effects of the model minority myth is the division it creates between Asian Americans and other communities of color.

Because the model minority stereotype is predicated on white America’s perception of Asians as a docile and welleducated group, it subsequently demands that Blacks, Latinxs and Native Americans pass this threshold as well.

If they can do it, the model minority myth asks, gesturing to successful Asian Americans, then why can’t you?

The model minority stereotype has the effect of making Asian Americans palatable enough for white supremacy while perpetuating harmful stereotypes of Black people and Latinxs being lazy, dangerous and unmotivated. It gives a pass to Asians at the expense of fueling bias and even anti-Black racism within Asian communities, creating categories of the “good minority” versus the “bad minority.”

So as long as Asians remain docile and obedient, the model minority myth attempts to convince us that we will remain relatively safe from the same oppressive forces that lead to poverty,

discrimination and a lack of economic opportunity in other communities of color. But the catch to the model minority myth is its intrinsic connection to American meritocracy and the “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” mentality that is achieving the American Dream. The narrative of educational and economic success is predicated on an Asian person’s individual drive — his or her willingness to stay up all night in college studying for a test or the obsessiveness with getting into top universities during college admissions season.

The meritocratic undertones of the model minority narrative, however, completely ignore the systemic barriers that continue to harm Asian Americans and other communities of color. It ignores the “bamboo ceiling” that keeps Asian Americans from leadership positions in tech companies and corporate businesses. It ignores the wealth inequality that permeates Asian American communities, in which Bangladeshi and Cambodian Americans have lower household incomes.

Instead of recognizing the ways institutionalized racism and systemic discrimination impact communities of color, many Asian Americans have been manipulated into believing that systemic violence and discrimination doesn’t exist. In the fight for racial justice, we become completely invisibilized, and our collective and intertwined histories of oppression and hardship in this country is erased. The murder of Vincent Chin and the solidarity between Mexican American and Filipino American farmworkers are reduced to dust in our collective memories.

When I was little, my mom would tell me that I needed to work twice as hard as my peers to make it half as far.

It is a piece of advice that many immigrant and Black parents often tell their children, as it subtly hints at the extra barriers faced by marginalized communities without clearly defining these obstacles as products of systemic racism. But at the same time that my mom told me these words, she would scold me years later for participating in Black Lives Matter rallies at my college. These reactions present a numbing juxtaposition I feel is common among other second-generation Asian Americans like me: Our parents may hint at the existence of institutional obstacles that impact our ability to succeed, yet they still believe following the path set by the model minority myth will be the most beneficial to us.

Because our race is invisibilized by

the model minority trope, Asian Americans are often disconnected from modern-day social justice movements, such as the Black Lives Matter movement mobilizing against police brutality. Instead of standing up against injustice with our Black, Latinx and indigenous brothers and sisters, many of us largely remain silent and complacent, for this is how the white man told us to behave to ensure our own survival.

Be obedient, they said. Work hard, they said. Sit down, they said, and you’ll make it in this cutthroat, capitalist world of ours.

And, for the most part, we believed them.

Asian Americans have been fooled for decades, tricked by white supremacy into believing that stepping on the backs of other people of color is necessary for white acceptance. But in this “race for second place” instigated by the dominant group, Asian Americans will never win. When the system is gamed to benefit only rich, white, cisgender men, the marginalized groups — Asian Americans included — are always programmed to lose.

Now, with the current anti-affirmative action crusade waged by the Justice Department, Asian Americans are once again being wielded as convenient pieces in a game solely for white people’s benefit. After the news broke, I was comforted to see a number of high-profile Asian Americans use the hashtag #NotYourModelMinority to combat the Trump administration’s attempt to use us — or at least, a caricature of us — for their own benefit.

But just having a few famous Asian Americans reject the model minority stereotype is not enough. All Asian Americans need to wake up and realize that the race for second place will lead us nowhere. That buying into the model minority myth — and satisfying those at the top of the racial hierarchy — comes at the expense of Black folks, Latinxs and indigenous communities. We must abandon our suffocating silence and vocally and unapologetically join the fight against systemic injustices.

We must wake up from this white supremacy-induced dream that has been projected onto us. We owe it to our black and brown brothers and sisters, to the Asian immigrants that were scapegoated centuries before us, to ourselves and to our future. ___________________________________ Celisa Calacal is a fourth-year journalism student who refuses capitalist classification despite what you think. You can reach them at ccalacal@ithaca.edu.

Up-

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BUZZSAW: The Cake Issue

Seductions of Meritocracy

Asian Americans and the Model Minority Myth

By Celisa Calacal, Staff Writer

W

hen I was busy applying to colleges four years ago, my mom gave me a piece of advice she thought would boost my prospects.

“Don’t tell them you’re Asian,” she told me. “Then maybe you’ll have a better chance of getting in.”

My mom was specifically referencing the several University of California schools I was considering applying to, many of which have large Asian student populations already. And it was because of the predominantly Asian student bodies at these campuses that she thought I wouldn’t have a good chance of getting in: Why would those schools accept another Asian student when they were already overrepresented? My mom thought it would be best if I hide my Asian heritage by checking another racial group, one that was more of a minority at these UC schools — I considered selfidentifying as “Pacific Islander” in my applications instead, reasoning to myself that the Philippines was an island nation in the Pacific Ocean — to increase my chances of being accepted.

This idea that Asian students are slighted by the college admissions process — even discriminated against — because of affirmative action has become a common talking point among many Asian Americans. This belief has even made it all the way to Attorney General Jeff Sessions and the Department of Justice, which was announced in August that the DOJ would be looking into affirmative action policies amid allegations that they discriminate against Asian Americans. According to the New York Times, the DOJ will specifically be investigating a lawsuit in which a group of Asian Americans claim that Harvard University’s affirmative action policies discriminated against them.

The announcement has reignited a debate within the Asian American community about the merits of affirmative action. Those opposing affirmative action believe colleges and universities use quotas to limit the number of Asian applicants accepted, even though the Supreme Court ruled racial quotas to be unconstitutional in the 1978 case Regents of the Univer-

sity of California v. Bakke. The antiaffirmative action group Students for Fair Admissions is quick to cite the fact that the enrollment of Asian Americans at elite schools have largely remained static, despite enrolling in colleges at higher rates.

In contrast, Asian American organizations supporting affirmative action say it benefits particular communities within the Asian diaspora that are underrepresented in higher education, such as Laotians and Cambodians.

Furthermore, the 2016 Asian American Voter Survey found that 64 percent of respondents said they favored affirmative action, compared to the 25 percent who opposed it.

For the vocal number of Asian Americans who disapprove of affirmative action, the Justice Department’s announcement may lead them to believe that the Trump administration is willing to fight for them and that the DOJ truly cares about issues affecting the Asian American community. Yet this thinly veiled facade of “fighting for the victim” positions Asian Americans is nothing more than a convenient racial wedge for the Department of Justice to advance the agenda of the Trump administration.

White supremacy is the game, and Asian Americans are the pawns.

The debate among Asian Americans over affirmative action, in combination with the current administration’s supposed support for their cause, stretches far beyond the implications of admissions policies. Rather, it is reflective of a racial history that has purposely placed Asian Americans in a gray area on the racial hierarchy.

That position in the racial ladder’s gray zone stems from the centuries of racist love and racist hate — terms first coined in 1972 by Asian American authors Frank Chin and Jeffrey Paul Chan — Asian Americans have received since immigrating to this country. Pinpointing the periods of racist hate — blatant discrimination fueled by racialized animosity and fear of the immigrant “other” — against Asian Americans is, sadly, easy enough to identify. There was the roundup of Japanese Americans during World War II into internment camps and the wave of anti-Asian sentiment throughout those wartime

years. The Chinese Exclusion Act in 1882 barred Chinese laborers from immigrating to the U.S., fueled primarily by a fear that Chinese people were taking job opportunities away from other Americans. Sound familiar?

Racist love, on the other hand, is not necessarily defined by particular exclusionary policies, but rather exists as an ever-existing force of manipulation that has heavily shaped the modern-day experiences of Asian Americans. It is defined as the approval given to a minority group by those dominant in society as a result of behavior that is pleasing or satisfactory to said dominant group. The primary form of racist love bestowed upon Asian Americans by white people is that of the model minority myth — the perception that Asians are smart, obedient, and financially well-off.

Like many Asian Americans I know, I became a victim to the model minority myth as soon as I started school.

Other kids would think I was the smartest in the class at math. Sometimes my non-Asian friends would tease me for receiving a test grade lower than an A — an “Asian F.” My fellow peers and teachers often said I was “quiet” and “soft-spoken” in class.

Others admonished me for being “too shy,” only to be taken aback at how outspoken I could be once I opened up to them.

The modern-day model minority myth primarily developed after World War II as a tool of comparison between Asian Americans and African Americans. A 1966 New York Times piece by William Petersen, former sociologist at the University of California, Berkeley, entitled “Success Story, JapaneseAmerican Style,” further solidified the stereotype of Asian Americans as obedient and industrious. Not only did the piece paint the picture of Asian Americans succeeding against all odds, but Petersen created this trope in direct juxtaposition to African Americans, further perpetuating negative stereotypes against them as a result.

With this increased social acceptance of Asian Americans post-World War II came better job opportunities, adding more fuel to the model minority myth. But as Washington Post reporter Jeff Guo wrote last year, the

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BUZZSAW: Dunk Issue

PFRONT. UPFRONT. UPFRON

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BUZZSAW: The Cake Issue

Shaping Up Shamelessly

Balancing a health-campaign with a body-positivity campaign

A

By Anna Lamb, News & Views Editor

young girl, heavy-set with her arms folded across her chest and her features twisted into a mean mug, stares straight ahead in a black and white poster. The caption: “It’s hard to be a little girl when you’re not,” is written across the bottom.

That poster, and two others just like it have appeared on billboards, buses and train platforms with captions such as: “Fat prevention begins at home. And the buffet line,” and, “My fat may be funny to you, but it’s killing me.”

The ads, put out by Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta, have stirred controversy in the continued debate over what the media call “fat shaming,” in conjunction with new struggles to combat the supposed obesity “epidemic” in the United States.

The obesity “epidemic” has been a hot-button topic of the 2000s, at its height becoming the focal point of former first lady Michelle Obama’s platform in the White House.

“In the last twenty years scientific, medical, and public health interest in obesity has skyrocketed,” writes Dr. Natalie Boero, a professor of sociology at San Jose State University.

Boero has written a book titled Killer Fat, about how the media has framed obesity in the terms of a traditional epidemic, creating moral panic and decreasing quality health care approaches. Her research comes at a time when the number of overweight people in the world has surpassed that of underweight people--a global tipping point that has ushered in new problems unknown to previous generations.

One of those problems is fat shaming. A phenomenon widely discussed in the era of the epidemic and in the dawn of the Internet, fat shaming has started to occur in large numbers, both online and in real life.

“Renee Engeln, a psychology

professor and the director of the Northwestern University’s Body and Media Lab, notes that our imageheavy (pardon the pun) culture has brought out the critic in everybody.”

Todd Leopold writes in a CNN article from 2016, “We’ve always cared about appearance, particularly for women, but technology has made the focus stronger than ever.”

It is a common belief throughout Western medicine that obesity has adverse health effects, leading to a justified sense of alarm. Stanford Health Care states on their website that obesity can lead to an increased risk for heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and bone and joint disease. So treating the aforementioned ailments requires doctors time and added stress for patients. That’s why there have been advocacy campaigns to mitigate what is largely a preventable condition.

Campaigns have included the aforementioned posters, speaking engagements at schools by health advocates, government restrictions on school diets, corporate weight loss incentives, and edgy documentaries.

In a 2012 Newsweek article, journalist Gary Taubes, asserts, “The problem is, the solutions this multilevel campaign promotes are the same ones that have been used to fight obesity for a century—and they just haven’t worked.”

Taubes goes on to be vindicated in this claim, with a concession by from a National Institute of Health head saying, “We are struggling to figure this out.”

The media that are covering these efforts relay their messages, becoming an echo-chamber of anti-fat heralders of health.

A study by Paul Komesaroff and others of the Centre for the Study of Ethics in Medicine and Society looked at the experiences of obese people and perceived adversity.

“Participants described in detail

the pervasive culture of blame and shame that they believed was directed at obese individuals in news reporting using words such as ‘ridicule,’ ‘mocking’ ‘unfair,’ ‘discriminatory,’ ‘alienating,’ ‘derogatory,’ ‘spectacle,’ ‘exploiting,’ ‘offensive,’ ‘vile,’ ‘disgusting,’ ‘humiliating,’ ‘belittled,’ ‘cruel,’ ‘sensationalism,’ ‘dehumanizing,’ and ‘taunting.’ Many described how the discrimination evident within news reporting went almost exclusively unchallenged.”

So, in all of this, there seems to be a fine line between shame and advocacy. A fat acceptance movement has cropped up to combat the shamers. The central claim being that any size can be healthy, and some people can’t help being big.

The science on both sides of the fat and fit argument differ significantly. Some studies say it is possible to be metabolically healthy, while being overweight, and others say it’s impossible.

Perhaps both sides need to approach the issue with more nuance.

What is left at the end of the day is obesity can have some nasty sideeffects, but not for everyone. And intense health campaigns perhaps unrightfully shame people who are either overweight through no fault of their own or just don’t give a fuck about society’s idealistic standards. ___________________________________ Anna Lamb is a third year Journalism major who’s on a mission to shame the shamers. You can reach them at alamb@ithaca.edu.

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Image by Rachael Geary

pleasure anyway. Joyner says this orgasm gap is most prevalent during hookups. Casual sex is really only pleasing men. In a study of involving 24,000 college students, only 40 percent of women said they had an orgasm during a hook-up. Of those surveyed, 75 percent of women reported having an orgasm the last time they had sex in a committed relationship.

Don’t get me wrong, casual sex can work, but it often doesn’t. And that’s not for a lack of trying. Instead, it is because the nature of sex is so stigmatized and gendered that casual sex is just another piece of an inherently sexist society. We can’t use sex to dismantle sexism.

Casual sex can and should exist in theory as a way for men and women to experience sexual gratification and experimentation without premature commitments. However, inside of our very gendered, very patriarchal society, we must use caution when justifying something dissatisfying and possibly sexist with, “It’s just sex.”

Casual sex is as much a woman’s right as it is a man’s, but until we redefine what makes sex casual and what we want it to be for both men and women, casual sex is not helping to sexually free or satisfy the modern woman. It’s just expecting her to play a man’s game. ___________________________________ Jordan Szymanski is a first year Writing for Film, Television, and Emerging Media major who isn’t casual about critiquing the patriarchy.

You can reach them at jszymanski@ ithaca.edu.

News & Views

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BUZZSAW: The Cake Issue

Caked Up

The reality of casual sex

By Jordan Szymanski, Staff Writer

W

e’ve been there.

Not exactly sure where your bra is? Can’t remember if she said her name was Lisa or Lizzie? Ah, the idiosyncrasies of casual sex. Except, what happens when the covers fly off and the rushed goodbyes and declined cups of coffees are left upstairs? That walk across campus can make anyone stop and think: does casual sex work, and more importantly, who is it that we want it to work for?

Thinking about it critically, it can become quite clear that casual sex doesn’t work. It’s not the “sex” part that doesn’t function properly in real life scenarios, it is the casualness that doesn’t hold up outside of theory. This is because fundamentally, in my opinion, women approach casual sex differently than men do. And more so, heterosexual couples approach casual sex differently than homosexual couples do.

Because I am a cisgender, heterosexual woman, I’m going to speak about how casual sex falls apart in practice during heterosexual interactions, specifically. I acknowledge this is only one point of view.

Now, I am not saying that casual sex (sex outside of the ramifications of a relationship) is something that women cannot experience. I am arguing that women fundamentally experience it differently than men within heterosexual relationships.

And that is not necessarily a conscious choice on their part.

Men have generally been the ones to define the parameters of casual sex. Sex is more or less the product of a “man’s world.” It is tradition that men make a majority of the rules, and that includes classifying some sex as meaningful and other sex as casual. Women, on the other hand, have been taught for generations that there are repercussions, such as pregnancy, that come with casual

sex, and that it is not a “feminine” thing to do. In an article for news. comau, relationship therapist Lynda Cyle is quoted as saying that the discrepancy can be found in sex education classes.

“In sex education, girls learn about their periods and pregnancy and boys hear about masturbation, arousal and their sexual urges being OK,” Lynda said.

Sex Ed classes devote entire curriculums to waiting-until-marriage style birth control. Women hear about abstinence more than men do because the consequences are also proposed as more dire for them. Two of the biggest warnings against casual sex are pregnancy and STIs. Although STIs affect both men and women, pregnancy is pushed as a greater conundrum for the women to deal with. This contributes to the gendering of casual sex, implying that if all goes awry, women are stuck with their hand in the cookie jar —or another weird food metaphor— with a bun in their oven. As an article by Sara Rense in Esquire says, “In a perfect world, casual sex would be low-risk for everyone.” It’s not. At least, not when there is a lack of communication between genders about casual sex and the context we view it in.

Men and women can view casual sex on a spectrum ranging from onenight-stands to friends-with-benefits. After the sexual revolution of the 1960s, women have been using it much more freely and unconventionally. However, this spectrum is not designed to satisfy women because it has been created and dictated by men for so long. A study about casual sex conducted by psychologist Anne Campbell found that 80 percent of men had overall positive feelings after a one-night stand, while only 54 percent of women expressed positive feelings. It makes it much more difficult for women to operate freely in a system that was

created in spite of us rather than by us, for us, or for our satisfaction. Although it may be tempting to negate the historically sexist conceptions of sex and instead focus on a progressive push that allows women to have sex casually, it would be irresponsible to ignore how gendered casual sex really still is, even in today’s “post-sexist” society.

If casual sex as we know it perpetuates gender inequalities, where do we as a culture get our information about it and persuasion toward it? Most of it comes from media in the form of TV shows, movies, books or magazines. Shows like “Sex in the City” help destigmatize the woman’s role in casual sex, but also help illustrate the messy situations casual sex can create for women. Like Jennifer Joyner explains in her article for Verily, casual sex is not always as empowering for women as it seems on TV. The problem is that women aren’t allowed to actually enjoy casual sex.

Despite problematic assumptions and debunked evidence on the contrary.

One problematic stereotype is that women use casual sex is in the name of “feminism.” Natalie Portman’s character in No Strings Attached — an ultra-modern, anti-settling down woman— uses casual sex to avoid a relationship. But maybe this is an entirely different beast to address: Why do women think casual sex is the answer to avoiding intimacy?

Maybe because men have done it for decades now. Or maybe because they think they have to. This stereotype harms the women who just want to use sex in the same way men have been using it since the dawn of time, just as sex. It’s unfair to link a singular woman’s sexual liberty to her willingness for domestication.

The two are not intertwined.

Another problem: Not only are women not allowed to enjoy casual sex, their counterparts overwhelmingly are ill-equipped to provide any

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Started from The Bottom

A look into why we love big butts so much

By Kaitlin Watson, Contributing Writer

C

G. Mendieta, a Miami-based plastic surgeon who wrote The Art of Gluteal Sculpting. “After they saw her, people started asking us, ‘Hey, how can I get a backside like that?’”

When discussing the rise of the behind, one of the most profoundly talented lyricists of the twentieth century, Anthony Ray, better known as Sir Mix-a-lot, should be acknowledged for largely popularizing the butt trends of today. “Baby Got Back,” the 1992 ode to the buxom behind that spent five weeks at number one and sold two million copies, shifted the public opinion.

Mix-a-lot, stating “Fonda ain’t got a motor in the back of her Honda,” and “I’ll keep my women like FloJo,” made the curves of Olympian Florence Giffith Joyner seem more desirable than the mainstream waif-thin body type. This musical evolution was drastic, considering that neat, perky butts were all the rage in the Jane Fonda workout craze of the previous decade.

No matter how they got their booties, these women helped lead a body-positive trend.

“You have Kim K. and different models really using their butts to promote themselves,” says Nicole Winhoffer, a fitness trainer responsible for some of the most famous bodies in Hollywood. “But I love that they are curvy and they love themselves. If you have the power to change the world and you have people paying attention to you — either through social or whatever — and you use it the right way for the right message, I am all for that.”

One thing is clear: The message in pop culture right now is that your backside can be your greatest asset. Beyoncé came on top of Forbes 100 Most Powerful Celebrities list, raking in $105 million in earnings.

Kardashian West brought in an estimated $51 million and also made the Forbes Top 100 list. Azalea is currently the only artist since The Beatles to have the number one and number two record in the country at the same time.

As for the original face of the booty campaign, Jennifer Lopez is

still Jenny from the Block, but the 48-year-old mogul raked in $37 million in the past year and came in 65th on the 2017 Forbes Top Celebrity 100 list. Used to be a little, now she’s got a lot. ___________________________________ Kait Watson is a bootylicious third year Integrated Marketing Communication Major who thinks you should have your cake and shake it too!

They can be reached at kwatson@ ithaca.edu.

News & Views

ake, donk, booty, buns—the obsession with butts, primarily of the ample variety, is engrained in popular culture. But in 2018, what makes for good ass? According to data recorded by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, there has been a 58 percent increase in buttock implants since 2013. Women have taken drastic — often dangerous — measures to achieve the derriere results they desire.

An article recently published in the New York Times, called “For Posterior’s Sake,” by Marisa Meltzer, argues the case for butts even more strongly: “The rear is fast becoming the erogenous zone of choice in America, vying for eminence with breasts, abs, and legs… Captivating back-end views of amply endowed personalities have stirred the popular imagination, prompting many women . . . to chase after gawk-worthy curves of their own.”

Ten years ago, women were enhancing their backside shape through silicone implants. Today, a quickly growing percentage of women, and even men, are increasing the size and changing the shape of their butts through fat injections, a process better known as the “Brazilian butt lift.” The cost of such a procedure, which can increase your buttsize roughly one to two full sizes, can be upwards of a cool $10,000.

No doubt, butts have never been bigger, both in physical and cultural proportion. Many celebrities like Kim Kardashian West (shout-out to the Kardashian clan for promoting belfies, or butt selfies), Nicki Minaj, Iggy Azalea and Beyoncé Knowles with voluptuous curves. “Bootylicious,” the title of one Destiny’s Child most popular songs, was even added to the dictionary in 2004.

Some credit Jennifer Lopez for kicking off the bum fad in early 2000 with her plunging, derriere-hugging Versace ensemble.

“It started when J. Lo showed up in that green see-through dress at the Grammys,” says Dr. Constantino

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We Love to Hate It

Breaking down the reality of reality television

By Christine McKinnie, Web Editor

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hen I was a kid, I used to sneak into my mom’s room to watch “American Idol” and “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” past my bedtime. I wanted to be like the people I saw in those shows. I used to imagine myself auditioning for “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?” and was disappointed when I finished fifth grade and wasn’t on television proving that I was smarter than those around me. There was a point in high school when I was a little bit obsessed with “The Glee Project” and wanted nothing more than to meet the cast and crew.

Reality television covers a broad range of areas. The Primetime Emmy Awards categorize it into three different sections: unstructured reality like “Deadliest Catch” and “Keeping Up with the Kardashians,” structured reality like “Shark Tank” and “Mythbusters,” and reality-competition like “Dancing With the Stars” and “American Ninja Warrior.”

Reality television isn’t a new concept. In fact, it has been around since the 1940s, when people were put into unscripted situations and recorded in shows such as “Candid Camera.” The late 1990s and early 2000s saw the big boom of what we now know as reality television, with successes such as “Big Brother” and “Survivor.” It was at this time that channels like TLC and MTV began airing mostly reality programs.

Is there a reason for America’s obsession with watching other people’s lives? The answer depends on what type of show it is. For instance, in some competition shows, viewers have the ability to vote for who they want to stay on the show. This gives them the chance to feel like they have some control in their viewing of the show. Another reason specifically related to competition shows is the competition itself. We are given the chance to pick a person and root for them, becoming dedicated to their successes and failures as the show progresses. In contrast, we watch shows like “Keeping Up With The

Kardashians” because we can see them living the lavish life that many people wish to live. Some people suggest that reality television acts like an escape from the real world, showing other people’s lives and allowing you to forget about your own.

Reality television has become such a profitable industry that many TV producers are making “bad” shows to appeal to those who avidly watch reality programming, writes Charles McCoy and Roscoe Scarborough from The Washington Post. Even though we watch these shows, we usually still consider them full of pointless and terrible content. What then, makes reality TV a guilty pleasure? These shows stand as a way to fill in the mindlessness that we seek after a long day, or to make fun of it in a so-bad-it’s-good type of way.

CBS News reporter Patti Connor points out that reality television blends fantasy and reality in a way that displays “ordinary” people in situations in which we can envision ourselves.

But don’t we compare ourselves to characters in scripted shows as well? Shows like “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Law and Order” have been on the air long enough to gain devoted, lifelong fans whose own life choices have been influenced by the fictional events of these shows. For its 300th episode in November of 2017, the cast and crew of “Grey’s Anatomy” did a segment on Good Morning America about those who the show has influenced to go into medicine.

Are scripted shows better than reality at depicting human behavior in relatable, realistic situations?

For the most part, probably not.

The shows that I’ve seen or am currently watching are often portrayed through rose colored glasses, showing very little of the reality of how careers in medicine and law really work. And then there are the supernatural shows with almost no basis in reality.

The thing is, however, there are some incredibly powerful and interesting television shows that can actually show how things are, or were.

These are often the shows that win

Image by Rachael Geary

BUZZSAW: The Cake Issue

awards, like Netflix’s “The Crown.”

Because “The Crown” is based in history, it is engaging and powerful television.

But shows don’t need to be powerful and accurate to attract viewers. There are just as many guilty pleasure scripted shows as there are reality programs: hence, I’m still watching Grey’s Anatomy even though the show has been going downhill for seasons.

Watch reality television if you want; either because it is mindless or because you want to see yourself in “real life,” unscripted situations.

Keep in mind, though, that reality television might be affecting our perceptions of modern society, creating unrealistic expectations for ourselves which very few of us can get anything out of. This is problematic even if it might be nice to fantasize about living as extravagantly as the Kardashians.

There is nothing stopping anyone from watching what I consider pointless shows. We are able to change our viewing habits rapidly and suddenly. Netflix has made it possible for us to binge watch a show, but it also lets us jump around between many different shows until we find one worthy of the binge.

My suggestion is that instead of watching mindless crap of people’s unrealistic lives, watch something that actually has a storyline and characters that we can see grow and change. Your brain will thank you in the long run. ___________________________________ Christine McKinnie is a third-year Emerging Media major who just wants to be on “Deadliest Catch.”

You can reach them at cmckinnie@ ithaca.edu.

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BUZZSAW: Dunk Issue

Write Us

Our magazine exists to inspire thoughtful debate and open up the channels through which information is shared. Your comments and feedback are all a part of this process. Reach the editors by email at: buzzsawmag@gmail.com.

Table of Contents News & Views .................................................4 Current events, local news & quasi-educated opinions.

Upfront ........................................................9 Selected dis-education of the month.

Ministry of Cool ........................................13 Arts, entertainment and other things cooler than us.

Prose & Cons .............................................18 Short fiction, personal essay and other assorted lies.

Sawdust .......................................................20 Satire threatening the magazine’s credibility since 1856.

BUZZSAW

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News & Views

51 Buzzsaw presents...

The Cake Issue

EDITORS’ COMMENT

My time at Buzzsaw has been a lot like cake.

It is sweet and fluffy and best in small portions.

I’m not good at small portions. I keep going, vigorously searching for the perfect bite. It isn’t often that one gets the perfect frosting to cake ratio. I eat it ‘til I’m sick anyways.

With every cycle of Buzzsaw we start out hungry, getting a little more content from our writers each week. It keeps some of us fed. As the art editor, I wait patiently for dessert. The hunger grows, the spreadsheets are filled out, and then I get to binge.

BUZZSAW News & Views Upfront Ministry of Cool Prose & Cons Sawdust Seesaw Layout Art Website Social Media Production

Anna Lamb Owen Walsh Michele Hau Audra Joiner Alex Coburn Kimberly Caceci Will Cohan Julia Tricolla Tara Eng Brianna Pulver Rachel Geary Claire McClusky Christine McKinnie Kevin Swann Emma Rothschild

Once we move into the digestion part of the process, we have to trust ourselves. We let our systems do what they do and begin gathering ingredients again. This time I don’t get to do it again. My digestion has ended and I have left my fork to Rachael Geary. I trust her. I can only hope that I haven’t left her a pile of shit from my unbalanced diet.

It’s been a sugar rush. Thank you, Buzzsaw. Good luck, Rachael.

Adviser Founders

Best Wishes, Claire McClusky <3

Divider and Table of Contents Photography

By Michael Seitzinger

BUZZSAW: The Cake Issue

Michael Seitzinger is a first-year Cinema and Photography major from Cape May, NJ. His interest in visual art began with film and developed into a passion for photography. His mostly shoots street/urban photography but has started experimenting with portraiture.

Jeff Cohen Abby Bertumen Kelly Burdick Bryan Chambala Sam Costello Thom Denick Cole Louison

Buzzsaw is published with support from Buzzsaw is also funded by the Ithaca College Student Governance Council and the Park School of Communications.

Vanguard Printing is our press. (Ithaca, N.Y.)

Buzzsaw uses student-generated art and photography and royalty-free images.

Views expressed in this magazine are not necessarily those of the editorial staff or of Ithaca College.

Feedback and contributions should be sent to buzzsawmag@gmail.com.

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Front cover art by Alexa Salvato Center art by Lexie Farabaugh Back cover art by Alexa Salvato

BUZZSAW MAY 2017

We Love to Hate It pg. 4

Seductions of Meritocracy pg. 10

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THIS SHIT HAS LAYERS

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Cool to Be Sweet: New Sincerity in Film pg. 14