FR EE
YO UR S
REVEALED
Autumn 2013
S acred
birthing S ite
When it takes 3 to make a baby
Mother’s Day Special
Beauty in the Bush What TEACHERS
wish parents knew!
s d i k y Wh
PUSH
your buttons
Welcome Cape Yorkers!
Man About the House Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
n m u t u A 2 013
Why kids push your but tons!
42
editors’ note Welcome to our 1st edition for 2013! One of the great things about putting together a magazine is that you get to meet some amazing and inspiring people with some pretty extraordinary tales to tell. This edition has a fairly distinct ‘Indigenous’ theme as we welcome new readers from the Cape and show off Aurukun’s beauty in the bush, Cressida Korkatain. We have enlisted the help and expertise of local journalist, Jennelle Jeffery who has a passion for Indigenous culture, revealing for the first time to our readers a sacred birthing site located not far from Cairns. Have you ever felt your child was ‘pushing your buttons’? Parenting expert, Michael Grose returns with his advice on what to do; and there’s an insight into how teachers really feel with our candid story, ‘What Teachers Wish Parents Knew’! Don’t forget we have some awesome prizes to WIN and, as usual, we welcome your feedback or input. Have you got a great story to tell? Visit our website to contact us and here’s too ... happy parenting!
Juanita and Bec contact us SALES:
Juanita Soper
EDITORIAL: Rebecca Waqanikalou ADMIN:
Laura Franks
DESIGN:
Sheryn Bewert
www.engineroom.com.au PHONE: 0438 811 027 (Juanita) EMAIL: info@parentingcompanion.com.au ADDRESS: PO Box 4620 Cairns QLD 4870 www.parentingcompanion.com.au
this issue pregnancy
3 to make a baby new birth centre when should i stop work
10 13 15
baby learning through play how does your baby sleep
26 46
primary school 44 68
parents are our kids safe on-line
are you a ‘gunna’ like me
64
self managed superannuation funds
76
20 around town 22 top 5 finds 47 recipe page 48 date savers 49 school holidays 50 school holidays 59 the mummy challenge 70 dear dave 78 man about the house 81 couples confession box 82
39 why kids push your buttons 42
exposing the uncomfortable truth
finance
birth story
teaching children to protect themselves
pocket money
16
regular features
toddler
what teachers wish parents knew
To nam e or not to nam e
competitions
60 67
little lifesavers baby brag board
health
mummy makeover
54 retraining asthma sufferers 74
community photoboard
an inclusive education
teacher feature
9 18 32 62 53
feature sacred birthing site
28
Local journo, Jennelle Jeffery uncovers a sacred aboriginal birthing site located near Kuranda, revealing beautiful cave drawings and the old birthing ways of our Indigenous.
cover
welcoming cape york
34
Our front cover features Aurukun girl, Cressida Korkatain who’s showing off the handiwork of Cairns entertainer Rachel Bradley.
www.facebook.com/cairnsparentingcompanion DISCLAIMER: No part of this magazine, including advertisements within it, may be reproduced, in part or in whole without the expressed permission of the editor. Whilst the greatest care is taken to ensure that the information in the magazine is correct at time of publishing, readers are advised to check details before visiting. Cairns Parenting Companion cannot accept responsibilities for errors, inaccuracies or omissions. The expressions expressed within the magazine are not necessarily the views of the Cairns Parenting Companion, of the Parenting individual writers. Autumn 2013but Cairns Companion 5
s y a w a e v Gi AUTUMN
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Humpty is putting on a surprise show! Join him as he gathers together the Play School Toys to help with the big spectacular. There are starring roles for Jemima, Big Ted, Little Ted and Meeka and guest appearances from other Play School favourites. Filled with fun songs to sing and dance along with, this 40 minute show will delight Play School fans. CPC have three passes to give away three double passes to the Cairns show at Brothers Leagues Club. Head to our website to enter! www.parentingcompanion.com.au
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PHOTOGRAPHY As a mother of two I know how fast our precious babies grow and change. If I could stop time, I would! What I can do is a capture these moments and freeze time in a luminous, quality image. A wonderful split second in time you can revisit and take you back. That special smile, cheeky grin and wonderful laugh. My family and kids photography style is fun and passionate, steering away from forced and cheesy portraits - you will see lots of sparkly eyes and big laughs. My approach to your session is personal and relaxed, with the aim of making you comfortable with your surroundings, as this is the environment from which natural, beautiful photographs are borne. You should be able to enjoy your session for what it is – the capturing of a magical time in your lives. Your photo session can either be held at your home or at a location of your choice. I supply fun, toys and harmony to make your kids feel excited in their own little world. My mission is to create top quality photos into memories that last forever.
Phone: 0431 610 641
paulina.neumann@bigpond.com 6
Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
Have you got a Night Owl?
Light Owl Sets
To celebrate the release of the new ‘Owl Mobile’ Luminous Lights at the Pier is giving away one of these owl sets, consisting of the owl mobile and matching Owl night light, valued at $100. Do you have a night owl? Share your story on our website: www.parentingcompanion.com.au
ar Anti-slamming aDooraBe
TOP 5 Adoorabear GIVEAWAY WIN a cute but tough Adoorabear to help stop little fingers being jammed in doors. It’s one of our Top 5 Finds for Autumn page 47. Visit our website to enter: www.parentingcompanion.com.au
PLUS...
Don’t forget to enter your under 5 year old into the upcoming ‘Tiny Tots Competition’ and let their star shine! See page 8 for details.
For more information or to enter our competitions online visit:
www.parentingcompanion.com.au
Cortland (pictured)
Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
s r e v a s li f e lit tle
Local parents share their favourite tips for making life just that little bit easier.
Top Tip Car Seat toilet training saver Whilst toilet training, use disposable change mats on the car seat to save accidents. You can cut the change mat to fit around the seatbelt and leave it hanging over the sides, also great for the pram. The thickness doesn’t restrict the car seat; they soak a lot up and it’s better than putting nappies back on just for the car trip and making them confused about toilet training. I found this helpful when training my twins. Cassie M
Mummy SOS- sanity saver
bag in the boot (change of clothes for you and bub, nappy, towel, singlet, blanket). These items make last minute plans possible. Nyssa G
Fruit Freezies Make freezies for your kids afterschool trip home, cools them down after a hot day and crunching on the ice gives them some sensory outlet as well. We freeze fruit pieces in juice/water, you could just freeze water or juice on it’s own. We brought cheap little containers from Overflow and freeze a weeks worth at a time. Great for grapes or bananas etc that spoil quickly in this heat. Karen C
Ask for help! It doesn’t matter whether its a neighbour to mind your little ones for two hours while you go grocery shopping or a sleepover at grandmas house once a month so you can have a night out with hubby (or just a quiet nights sleep/sleep in!)...take time out when you need it! You’ll enjoy your kids far more when you have your sanity in tact! Sharnee D
Holiday Power Outages
Be prepared
We found a great way to get our prep age child more interested in veggies.... if he grows them himself, he’ll eat them, quite enthusiastically! Lola F
Have a swim bag always ready to go (towel, swimmers, sun screen, change of clothes, hat, swim nappy and normal nappy) and a
Fill up a little container with water and freeze it. Then put a coin on top. If the power ever goes off when you’re not home, you’ll know because the ice will melt and the coin will sink, then you’ll know if food in the freezer has started to defrost & refreeze so you can throw out unsafe food. Karen J
WIN $25 if t vouchers! one of three
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Email your little lifesaver (parenting) tips to win@parentingcompanion.com.au for your chance to WIN one of four, $25 gift vouchers to spend at any Overflow store in FNQ, from Ayr to Mareeba. Let’s go shopping at Overflow FNQ, Value, Variety, Rewards & Service ... Right here for you!
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Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
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s e k a t t i n e Wh
3
y b a b a e k to ma
Sometimes it takes more than two to make a baby. One in 6 couples have trouble falling pregnant. Marnie Hitchins talks to a family made with lots of love, donor eggs and help from specialist doctors. People who know Eve* say she was born to be a mum. Being the eldest of six siblings can do that to a person. But when Eve went to start her own family, nothing happened the way it was supposed to. After 10 years of trying to fall pregnant, four of those with the help of fertility
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
WORDS Marnie Hitchins * Names have been changed.
specialists, Eve was told her last hope was an egg donor. Two women - Eve’s youngest sister and a family friend donated eggs. Five years later Eve is preparing her ‘big girl’ for prep each day and thinking about toilet training her little daughter. Eve’s story, and variations thereof, is a common one. One in 30 babies born in Australia is conceived through IVF or assisted reproduction. Each year in Cairns, more than 150 couples will thank fertility doctors for helping them bring a baby
into their world. 20 couples will also thank sperm or egg donors. For Eve, making a baby was a long, heart-rending journey filled with medical treatments, soul searching and surprises. The biggest of which happened five years ago when she discovered she was 20 weeks pregnant; and not just tired and emotionally drained after a suspected miscarriage. “I had two embryos implanted. At an early scan, though, the doctor could not detect a heartbeat and three weeks later
I had a big bleed. I thought that was it. I would be everyone’s fantastic aunty and not a mum,” explains Eve. The tiredness would not go away. Eve went to see a doctor. He asked questions about pregnancy, explaining some people fall pregnant naturally after letting go of the baby they thought they would have. She was indeed pregnant - very pregnant. “We believe the heartbeat was masked by the embryo that did not develop. I was about 20 weeks and didn’t know it,” said Eve, who had a healthy baby girl from the egg donated by a family friend. Three years later, with the help of Eve’s youngest sister, Sam*, Eve gave birth to another girl. Eve was among the 300 couples who visit the Queensland Fertility Group Cairns office each year. QFG clinical director Dr Bob Miller said the trend to wait longer before starting a family explained the high number of couples needing help. “When I started in Obstetrics and Gynaecology a pregnant woman was considered ‘elderly’ if she was over 30. Now, it is not unusual for people to start trying for a baby at 35 ... (infertility) is a scourge of our age,” said Dr Miller. “It can, however, be a problem at any age and I recommend people see their GP after six months of trying unsuccessfully to fall pregnant if they are over 35, and 12 months if they are younger than 35. The younger you are the more options we may have available.” About half of the couples will fall pregnant with the help of medication. The other half will need IVF treatment, possibly with donor eggs or sperm. Donor sperm is almost always sourced from America and imported frozen. Eggs are usually donated by family and friends. Egg donors are ideally aged between 21 and 35 and go through physical and genetic screening and counselling to examine their motivations and expectations. Injections are used to stimulate hormones and the eggs are obtained in a day surgery procedure. In Australia, donation of egg and sperm must be altruistic. No payment can be made. The donor’s details are kept and the child, on turning 18, may request to meet the donor. Eve’s little ones will not need to ‘meet’ their donor at 18. They have already talked about how they will explain the girls’ conception to them when they grow older. Sam is a ‘special aunty’. “I had gone through the process to become an egg donor for Eve several years earlier but the doctor was not happy with the way I responded to the medication .... it was just not the right time. I was so upset. It all worked out in the end. I was able to donate the eggs after I had my own children,” said Sam. “If anyone was going to be a great mum, it was Eve. And being able give her daughter a sibling, I was ecstatic. We come from a big family and the kids really have been born from very loving relationships.” To find out more about egg or sperm donation, call the Queensland Fertility Group donation coordinator on 1800 111483 or the Cairns Fertility Group office on 4041 2400. Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
11
e r t n e C Bopeirnitnhg in cairns A NEW
WORDS Marnie Hitchins
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
Giving birth in a hospital simply does not feel right for some women. Maybe hospitals make them nervous. Perhaps they rationalize that pregnancy is not a disease and birth is not (usually) an emergency. Currently there are few alternatives in Cairns, but that is set to change. Redevelopment plans for the Cairns Base
during the birth. Women may also choose
has been a buzz growing around the plans
Hospital include provisions for a Birth
to be supported by family, friends and a
for the Birth Centre in Cairns.
Centre within the hospital building. Local
Doula.
maternity groups are trying to find out if there is a enough interest and demand to
“We are so excited to hear a Birth
One-on-one midwifery care, as is
Centre has been included in the plans. It
common in Birth Centres, is considered to
provides another choice for local mothers
be the gold standard of midwifery care. It
as to where, how and with whom they
is also known as ‘Caseload Midwifery’. The
would like to birth their babies. We would
type of care promotes strong relationships
really like to gain feedback from local
and trust between women and their
women and their families about what they
primary midwives. The midwife supports
would like to see in this particular centre.
that relaxed, secure mothers have shorter
the mother physically, emotionally and
Consumer feedback is critical to help build
labours and are less likely to require pain
socially, and offers her education and
a centre that the community really wants
relief medication or intervention. Research
empowerment.
and will use.” said Sarah.
consider creating a free standing or semidetached Birth Centre to care for women (classified as ‘low risk’) throughout their pregnancies and births. The philosophy behind Birth Centres is
shows stress hormones are produced when a woman feels fear or anxiety and this can counteract the natural hormones produced during labour. To this end, Birth Centres seek to create a space, separate from the hospital, which feels homely, relaxed and comfortable
Townsville Hospital opened a Birth Centre in 2009. Mum Marnie Wrigley gave birth to her baby boy there in 2011. “I chose the Townsville Birth Centre for a number of reasons,” explained Marnie. “Firstly, I find hospitals quite daunting
She said the group was holding a movie screening and discussion night in March to talk about the plans and gain feedback.
information night If you are interested in finding out more about the Birth Centre, or would like to
with the added reassurance that medical
and I wanted to have the care of a single
be involved in giving feedback, you can
back-up is available quickly if needed.
midwife - someone I could trust - not a
‘Like’ the ‘Birth Centre for Cairns’ Facebook
number of different doctors and nurses.
page or come along to the ‘Birth Centre
I really liked how my midwife was truly
for Cairns’ movie night. The movie night is
interested in my family and me. I wasn’t
being held on International Women’s Day:
Rooms usually include double beds, recliners and large bath tubs as well as labour and birth items. Many centres also have private courtyards and outdoor areas for women and their families to get some
just another patient.” “Secondly, the facilities were beautiful. It is calm and is set up to look like a home.
fresh air. One of the most important features of a Birth Centre is to provide a continuity of carer. Women are seen by the same midwife throughout their pregnancy and
We felt really welcome. Having access to a bath was really important to me too.” Maternity Coalition Cairns
Learn how to feed your family highly nutritious food Programs via phone/skype from the comfort of your home
Movie Night 6pm Friday 8th March 2013 at Smithfield YMCA This is a free event – gold coin donations
representative Sarah Baxter explains there
Be supported to get back to your pre-baby body
The ‘Birth Centre For Cairns’
for tea, coffee and cake stall.
A healthy, energised Mum means a healthy, happy family!
Angela Jackson B.App Sc (HMS), GradDipHlthSc
T: 3846 7418
E: angela@teapothealthcoaching.com
www.teapothealthcoaching.com Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
13
Bertie’s
ToTal InTerIors SpecialiSing in UpholStery commercial & reSidential loUnge manUfactUrerS
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
When should I
Stop Work?
A GP’s advice for soon to be mums
WORDS Dr Liz Chappel FRACGP MBBS Bsc (Hons) - Apple Tree Medical PHOTO MeFoto
I think many ‘already mums‘ would answer this question, “as soon as possible, you need all the rest you can get”. My advice to newly pregnant mums is to be as flexible in your thinking and planning as possible. So many factors will influence the choice as to when to stop work and these factors may change in an instant. Pressures to work up until your first contraction will include such issues as; financial concerns, being indispensable (perceived or real), loving work and not wanting to stay at home, being bored or socially isolated at home, and wanting to save up leave for after the baby is born. In my opinion, the health and safety of mum and baby is the absolute propriety. A complication in the pregnancy will dictate when mum should cease work. This may include maternal ill health such as hyperemesis gravidarum (morning sickness), insomnia, pre-eclampsia, DVT, depression, exhaustion, planned caesarian section or fetal complications that may require regular medical surveillance, intervention and maternal bed rest. Some jobs are less suited to pregnancy than others. Pilots and flight attendants have guidelines as to when they are grounded. Physical work in the midday sun is not good for a heavily pregnant mum, and being exposed to environmental toxins such as chemicals or radiation should be monitored and controlled. Mums may find they can physically cope with their usual workload (assuming that it is not too physically demanding) up until about 32 to 34 weeks gestation after which routine tasks often feel harder or involve substantially more effort. Psychologically, mums may mentally detach from work as the pregnancy progresses, viewing it as less important or not feeling as motivated about work issues as they were before they were pregnant. There are usually no hard and fast rules, but your aim should be to enjoy your pregnancy and ensure that you and your baby are as healthy as possible. Cairns local clothes designer, Karlie Jay (pictured right) worked right up until the week before she was due. “I was managing a clothing store in Port Douglas and would have kept on working but felt I needed to organise the staff roster so everyone knew what they were doing. I felt great”, she said.
Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
15
? e m a n o t t o n r To name o that is the question. Decorating a crib with flowers, warding off evil with a knife, and even rubbing an ear of corn over a baby’s body, are all ancient elements of Baby Naming Ceremonies from around the world. They have, in fact, been around longer than the traditional religious formalities.
Perhaps you have thought of the only
alongside traditional religious services,
ensue, and the baby is placed on the floor,
available Baby Name Giving Ceremonies
and do stand as a sacred ceremony in their
surrounded by grains, representing the
to be just that – a Baptism or Christening?
own right.
earth’s bounty.
In fact, a formal introduction to naming
Egyptian Pharaoh’s used the following
your baby in the presence of your family
ceremony to welcome a baby to the world;
and friends is almost as old as the
a time-honoured practice that is still used
human race.
today in Christian and Muslim homes.
For some of us a Baby Naming is a total
Their ceremonies begin by dressing
To ward off evil, the mother side-steps the baby numerous times, and then carefully, and momentarily, places a knife across the baby’s body. Other children
question mark – “What is it?” “I’ve never
the child in white and placing them in
participate by carrying candles in a
heard of it!” In fact, Baby Naming days
a sieve. Parents slowly rock the sieve to
procession throughout the home, while
have been around for thousands of years,
symbolise the motions of life. Festivities
others follow with incense burners.
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
WORDS Melanie Serafin – Love for Life Celebrations
Alternatively, the Southwest Hopi Native American tribe would place an ear of corn, representing Mother Earth, next to a newborn. Twenty days later, the corn was rubbed over the baby’s body, who was then held towards the rising sun; officially being named as the first rays of sunlight hit their forehead. In India, women decorate the cradle with garlands of flowers and sing hymns, gently rocking the cradle. Mothers and grandmothers play an important role here by offering a small gold jewel for the child. The baby is blessed with rice and the sacred dot is placed on the baby’s forehead. Buddhists believe all babies can hear within the first three months of life. A mother will create a banana leaf package with rice and write the baby’s name on the inside. She lays the baby on the leaf and whispers the child’s name three times, followed by all the guests. Special prayers are recited, animals are sacrificed, and the festivities are extensive and extravagant. In many traditions, the baby is named on the seventh day, including in Greek, Egyptian and Japanese cultures. In Japan, family and friends celebrate with a feast while the baby is clothed exclusively in white. A name plaque is eloquently etched in Japanese characters on special Japanese paper and hung on the wall. They call this a ‘welcome to the world’. A Baby Naming Ceremony is a beautiful way to introduce your new born to the world, with your family and friends present, and even participating if you wish. You can have
The Australian Broadcasting Corporation in association with Kids Promotions presents
Godparents, or Guardians if you desire, and you may include rituals or symbols throughout the ceremony that reflect your beliefs in life; ones that you would bestow upon your new addition to the family. A Naming ceremony also achieves an important social function. Of course it is a joyous time and a beautiful welcome to the family and your friends; but it can also assist you in identifying how you want to support your child as he or she grows. A ceremony is a way to show the wider community how much joy and pride you feel as a parent, and reminds you of the greater responsibility you have raising a child in the 21st Century. It is an awareness of the appointment of Godparents or Guardians, and ensures that others who play an important role in your child’s life (such as grandparents and other siblings) are recognised and honoured in a formal occasion. Finally, the ceremony provides you the chance to acknowledge your family and friends in the nurturing and support of your child’s life. As a Baby Naming has no legal or religious requirements, (unless you would like to add one such as a Bible reading, or any part from your religious background), you can assemble a ceremony as personalised and unique as you wish, making your baby’s Naming Day everything you dreamed it would be. Melanie Serafin is an Authorised Marriage Celebrant and prepares and performs personally written ceremonies for you. Phone: 0416 862 415 www. melanie.serafin.com abc.net.au/abcevents
Kids Promotions • Tel: 03 9739 6300 • www.kidspromotions.com.au www.abc.net.au/playschool
Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
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Baby BraG Board Eva Willis
Ethan Ross
Preston Bell-
Fitzgerald
Eli Williams
Show off your baby and you have the chance to win one of three $120 Twinkle Toes vouchers.
To enter upload your photo at
Siarra Alexander
www.parentingcompanion.com.au
nised! a rg o t n e s re p Y A D ’S R E H Have you got your MOT ber! m e m re to u o y lp e h ’ll e W Check out these great gifts! Hand and foot with Photo
Hands and Feet sculptures with Phot o
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twinkletoescairns@bigpond.com • Ph: 4034 3131 • www.twinkletoes.com.au 18
Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
Helping the Disadvantaged
y il m a F h it m S e Th Standing out at school is never fun for a child, especially when you stand out for of all the wrong reasons.
But when her husband was made redundant and finances became tight there was a need for her to seek support.
Many children don’t have the basics like a school bag, complete uniform or the schoolbooks they need to make the most of their education. They are often teased or left out by other students. And because they don’t fit in, they end up struggling at school, or failing altogether. For some, it can set up a pattern of underachievement that can literally last the rest of their lives.
“Through my work I heard about The Smith Family, and after some financial hardships I sought out help to get the basics needed for my child’s education. Through our school, I made contact and met with Donna, the local ‘Learning for Life’ support worker. She interviewed me and explained all about the assistance they offer. Donna was so supportive and understanding”
The Smith Family supports children and young people in need to achieve better futures for themselves. It creates opportunities for these children by providing long-term support for their participation in education. Last year The Smith Family reached more than 34,000 students, providing them financial support for their education through their ‘Learning for Life’ sponsorships. Families are identified by their school (Cairns has three partner schools Balaclava, Cairns West and Parramatta State School) and screened by The Smith Family staff. If the family fulfill the criteria the children are sponsored, which covers financial support and links them with a ‘Learning for Life’ worker. The Smith Family’s ‘Learning For Life’ workers provide individual support and encouragement. Workers also link students to local programs to help build their knowledge and skills, and connect students to supportive others such as mentors to increase their aspirations and confidence. As someone who works in the education sector, mum of 4, Edna LuiGigiba knows the importance of children getting a positive start and a good education.
You can help Anyone can become a sponsor of a Smith Family child. Sponsors donate a monthly amount, which is tax deductible and 100% goes to supporting the child and their education. The sponsor receives an introductory profile and annual updates by their sponsored child about their interests, hobbies and achievements over the year. Contact us today to become a sponsor, or to find out more about how you can help a young Aussie reach their potential.
Call 1800 633 622
www.thesmithfamily.com.au
With children in Year 2, 5 and 9 and the never-ending expenses of life, Edna really values the help from the Smith Family. “With three children in school the start of the year becomes very expensive and without the wonderful support I know we would really struggle to provide everything they need. And with my eldest in year 9 and I am so grateful for The Smith Family as peer pressure and bullying can make such a negative impact on children, I know she can go to school with her head held high and not having to worry about missing out on the things or being the odd one out”. Families can access support from The Smith Family if they are in financial hardship and on a concession or health care card; attending Cairns West, Parramatta Park or Balaclava State School; and the children have an attendance record at 90% or above.
Supporting education for brighter futures Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
19
There’s Nothing I Would Change... WORDS Brigid Lees PHOTOGRAPHY Lisa Footner
My husband David and I had been married for a few years when we decided that we wanted to become a family. I made the decision to get fitter and started eating healthier to prepare my body for the upcoming changes, and in the hope we would fall pregnant quickly. It must have worked as we were extremely lucky and fell pregnant pretty much straight away. I was lucky that I had no morning sickness, apart from a week of bronchitis and was able to work right through my pregnancy up until two weeks before our baby was due to arrive. At 19 weeks I felt and watched the baby do a somersault and at the 20 week scan we were told that I had a division in my uterus and that the baby had indeed turned and was now breech and stuck! Our obstetrician wasn’t concerned and said that the baby could very well turn back before our due date, and if not then we would more than likely have a caesarean delivery. I continued to eat really well and exercised on a regular basis doing PT sessions and pregnancy yoga every week throughout the pregnancy. As we got closer to our due date and our baby still hadn’t turned, I searched the net
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
BIRTH STORY
and started doing exercises, acupuncture, chiropractic, massage and we burnt Moxa candles at my toes all in the hope that this would encourage our baby to turn, but nothing worked! It was a stubborn baby and was happy and comfortable where it was!
doctors, nurses and our obstetrician
So at 36 weeks we were booked in for a Caesar to be done at 38 weeks and we started counting down the days. Since our 20 week scan I was mentally prepared for a caesarean and as I knew what day and time we had to be at the hospital I wasn’t stressed or anxious about the arrival of our new family member. The week before the caesar we had our last appointment with our obstetrician and discussed any preferences, choices or concerns we had. We had done some research into delayed cord clamping and asked if this could happen. We also didn’t want the sex of the baby to be called out, I wanted to see the “birth” of the baby and I wanted skin to skin contact. Apart from these requests, we just wanted a happy and healthy delivery.
umbilical cord delayed by three minutes.
On the day of our baby’s arrival we were wheeled into theatre at the Cairns Private, eagerly awaiting the arrival of our little son or daughter. The team of
were all fantastic and all of our requests were granted. Our son Noah John was born at 10.02am and with the help of the anaesthetist I was able to watch our obstetrician deliver our baby and we were also able to have the clamping of his My husband was the one to announce that we had a son and as soon as I was stitched up and wheeled out of theatre Noah and I were granted skin to skin contact and I started breast feeding him. During our whole pregnancy and the delivery of our son we felt that we were in control (apart from him being breech) and that all of our requests and concerns were answered. Noah’s arrival into the world was so smooth and relaxed that we didn’t hear him cry for a couple of days. Although the choice of a natural delivery was taken out of our hands, we felt that as all of our requests were granted, we were given the delivery that we wanted. There is nothing I would change about his arrival and with the help of our obstetrician it was a wonderful day and one we will always remember for all the right reasons!
“Keeping Our Generations Growing Strong” SERVICES CHILDREN & FAMILY CENTRE WOMENS, CHILD AND MATERNAL HEALTH HEALTHY LIFESTYLES PROGRAMS CHILD WELLBEING COUNSELLING AND SUPPORT GENERAL CLINIC ATHERTON SERVICES
PHONE 4080 1000 13 Moignard Street Manoora Cairns 22c Evans Street Atherton
Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
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G et in the know!
Around town... CER N A C R O F WALK 2013 so get Relay for Life is back for lp in the he your team together and is popular event fight against cancer. Th the 22/23 of is held at Barlow Park on reds of teams June and will see hund walk around the dress up, camp out and cancer. Celebrate. track all in the name of For more Remember. Fight Back! ancerqld.org.au. w.c information visit ww Proudly suppor ted by Cai
rns Parenting Compan
SHWE SHWE POPPIS DOLLS
You! C I T E L H T A The New re how
ion.
BE BRAVE AND SHAVE 14-17th March On any given day, 31 Australians will be given devastating news that they have leukaemia or a related blood disorder. As the Leukaemia Foundation receives no government support its up to us to fundraise to help support research to find better treatments and maybe one day, a cure. Visit www.worldsgreatestshave.com to find out how you can get involved.
Buy one of these unique handcrafted dolls - designed by the South African children of Zola in Soweto and hand sewn by woman in the community - and you’re helping to provide employment and fund their creche, providing a better future for the Soweto community. Stockists for the dolls, ‘For Them, For You’ is a socially conscious business which was created with helping others in mind. Visit www.forthemforyou.com.au for more information.
ENCE LOCAL CONFERob al Age
Childhood in the Gl
The Far North Early Childhood Network is holding an Early Years Conference on Friday 17th May and everyone is invited. Come to Rydges Esplanade and hear from international speaker, Maria Aarts. There’ll be a range of workshops, local speakers and a forum. Tickets are $20 with lunch and morning/afternoon tea provided. For more information visit www.jcu.edu.au/fnecn
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
ing but not su Interested in runn in Running is working to begin? Dynamic nners the Cairns Road Ru conjunction with er yone h and fitness to ev to promote healt of all st be ve a go. And who is keen to ha ers Companion read Cairns Parenting e ount to join in thes receive a 50% disc nt code $25! Quote discou clinics - now only booking. ‘Parent2013’ when it a clinic near you, vis For more details on ll ning.com.au or ca ww w.dynamicrun 798 444. Lorraine on 0417
FINDING A NEW NAME! After nearly eight years The Doyle Family Show want to rebrand their popular interactive family show to go national and hopefully, international. But they want YOU to choose the new name. Should it be ‘The Top Hats’, ‘The Doyle-ezz’, ‘The Great Aussie Kidz Show ’ OR do you have another name in mind? Email your suggestions to info@doylee.com for your chance to WIN a 3 CD pack!
The Benevolent Society’s
Cairns Early Years Centre
The Cairns Early Years Centre offers free services for all families with young children pre-birth to 8 years old living in South Cairns. Some activities we are running are:
We run playgroups in the following areas...
Drop-in Child Health Clinics Play & Grow playgroups—at the centre and at a number of parks. Infant Massage Singing and Rhyming Parenting Programs Play ideas and information for parents
Woree
White Rock Bentley Park Edmonton
Kindergarten (at a very reasonable cost) Connect to Kindergarten programs Toys and reading activities to loan and practice at home
Please contact or drop into our centre for more info or support
CALL 07 4045 0003
Gordonvale
Find us on
Cairns Early Years Centre
Northern end of Bentley Park College Just off Borrowdale Close via McLaughlin Road Bentley Park Qld 4868
e ceyc@benevolent.org.au t 07 4045 0003 www.earlyyearscentre.org.au Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
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o t t n Wa ? l o o h c s o t s Bike Bu 24
Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
WORDS Sonya Barber
Riding to school with a group of people or ‘bike busing’ is becoming more and more popular in Australia with many schools and local councils encouraging families to use this ‘safety in numbers’ approach. Many parents will appreciate that at school drop off and pick up times there’s plenty of road congestion with limited parking spaces a real issue. At two Cairns school pick up zones on the first day for 2013, saw many speeding tickets and two separate car accidents. Both the school principal and the local police said on the news that night, “families need to consider how we can reduce congestion at school drop zones and find alternative methods of transport, like riding to school and getting Bike Buses going through the school community!” There was a celebratory “yippee” in my household as we regularly enjoy riding to school! A bike bus is a group of people who cycle to a destination in a group. It’s called a “bus” because there is a set route and timetable so it can pick up more “passengers” along the way. It takes a bit of organising but after that it’s just fun and absolutely everyone benefits! • School zones are safer & less congested • Kids are more alert and awake, ready to learn. • Kids love it and burn the energy they are supposed to • Fewer cars on the road • It’s a green and healthy alternative • Saves on fuel costs • Burns fat from mum and dad too!
CAIRNS Active Cycle Workshop
So how do you go about creating a Bike Bus? Step 1 Design your ‘safe ride to school’ route. Draw up a map or ‘google’ map. Step 2 Do some bike maintenance. Pump up the tyres, oil the chain, tighten helmet straps, practise riding with school bags etc.. Step 3 Practise ride. Go for a ride with the family on the weekend to get the feel of the bike route when the traffic is lighter. Step 4 Go over some basic rules with your kids, a parent or teacher. Ensure there is an adult leading from the front and one supervising from the rear of the group. Talk about breaking and slowing and even create some cute little group signals. Step 5 Register with Cairns Regional Council to get some support. Contact Sarah Gosling, the Active Transport Officer s.gosling@cairns.qld.gov.au. Advertise in the school newsletter for parents, carers and teachers to join you. Step 6 Take your time. For at least the first week while everyone is getting used to the route, allow plenty of time to get to school. Step 7 Enjoy your own increased energy levels and confident, active, healthy kids. Remember, for exercise to be effective it doesn’t have to be hard work, just enjoyable and regular.
Active Cycle Cairns is holding an ‘Active Cycle Workshop’ on
Saturday March 9th Little Barlow Park, Cairns This workshop is aimed at inspiring us to get on our bikes and remain active. The cost is $30 per person. 8.00am – Arrive and check in 8.30am – 12.45pm Workshop 12.45pm – 1pm Lunch & questions
The 1st 40 registered riders will receive a cycling bag filled with cycling information. TO REGISTER email Russell at russjones@rucommuting.com.au or
phone 0404 887 676
GIVE YOUR CHILD THE JUMP START THEY DESERVE PHONE 07 4036 8111 PO Box 110E, Earlville Queensland 4870 email tas@tas.qld.edu.au | fax 07 4036 8222 TAS White Rock, Progress Road TAS Kewarra Beach, Poolwood Road
The first year of school sets a vital platform for your child’s future education. When you enrol your child in the TAS Prep Programme, Jump Start, you can be assured they will receive the best possible start to their schooling life. TAS Jump Start provides an enjoyable and nurturing environment with a stimulating curriculum that develops skills and confidence to set your child up for a prosperous TAS education from Jump Start to graduation.
Ju mp Start TAS PREP
TAS White Rock Kindy - Year 12 TAS Kewarra Beach Prep - Year 7
Visit www.tas.qld.edu.au or email our Admissions Officer at admissions@tas.qld.edu.au to make an appointment with one of our Early Childhood Specialists.
Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
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Leathrrnouging h
PLAY WORDS Bree Stoney - Earth Toys
play – developing problem solving skills, personal and Children learn about themselves and their world through nt. Yet our children’s play is so over saturated with low social skills and strengthening their physical developme developmental toys are often the simplest. Here are some quality, uneducational, disposable toys. In truth, the best captivating natural play throughout your baby’s first year. timeless classics that are guaranteed to provide hours of Mobiles are ideal for boosting baby’s
Break out the books and get a head
Playdough and finger painting
sensory development. Mobiles enhance your little one’s eye control, visualtracking skills and improve your baby’s concentration and, depending on it’s design, sound recognition. They can even improve your baby’s concentration.
start on baby’s language development. Reading with your baby will improve her cognitive development, memory skills and communication. Since baby’s hands and mouth are her primary tools for learning, wooden and washable fabric books are a good bet for the younger set. Both will stand up well to baby’s loving bites.
can be a wonderful tactile and sensory activity, as children must use their sense of touch in order to create new objects with the dough and patterns, lines and dots with their fingers in the paint. Use only natural materials with no toxic colours as young children love to explore everything with taste.
Rattles, teethers and musical Instruments make up the trifecta of
Play is how babies learn and develop, so make sure you’re in on the game. Singing to your little one, encouraging interactive games, plus talking and cuddling will all help him to learn and grow. In the end, the best toy to help your baby develop the skills he needs is you.
Blocks and Stacking cups help baby to develop his gross and fine-motor skills. As he grows, these classic toys will grow along with him, offering up lessons in problem solving, simple math and help refine his hand-eye coordination.
Balls will help your baby master visual and physical coordination and teach him about cause and effect.
sensory development. All three stimulate baby’s sense of touch and directional hearing. What’s more, as she learns to shake her rattle and bang her drum, they will help to teach her about cause and effect.
Earth Toys has the natural start to your child’s play, all our baby toys are crafted from eco-friendly and non-toxic materials and are perfect for baby to explore while stimulating their developing senses of hearing, smell, sight, touch and taste! ADDRESS Shop 6 Oceana Walk, 55 Lake Street Cairns • Phone 4041 7678 • Website www.earthtoys.net
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
A breath of
fresh thinking choose the hours and income you need to live the life you want.
Call Anne on (07) 4054 6559 to find out what an ENJO Business can do for you.
enjo.com.au
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Families wanted to host international students! Hosting an international student is a unique and rewarding experience. We do provide training and YES we do provide remuneration. We have students of all nationalities! So call today! 07 4041 7990 or email info@edrec.com “Locally owned and operated” • Give your children an international experience without leaving Cairns! • Share the beauty of our region and the Aussie lifestyle with our international visitors! • Learn another language and sample international cuisine!
Cairns Office: Phone 07 4041 7990 www.asap-biz.com ASAP– A division of Banora International Group, since 1996 Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
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S acred
bir t h in g s i te
Elders break silence on traditional birthing practices mountaintop PHOTO Rob Richardson of NQ Locations and Marcus Faber of Faber Films
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
WORDS Jennelle Jeffery
Government signage glares at onlookers: “officially closed to the public”; but the glint in Indigenous elder Ernest Brimm’s eyes says otherwise. The sacred site of ‘Bunda Bibanydji’ (Bare Hill) forms part of traditional lands of the Bulwaundji people – a clan of the Djabugandji Bama (local Aboriginal people),” he declared, armed with a two metre stick in case of taipans and death adders. “We’re right, we’ve got permission from Tribal Council and the Council of Elders,” he proudly proceeded. “Let’s go.” And with that he marched the expedition up the mountain trail, en route to a rare and sacred Indigenous birthing site situated in our very own backyard. Michell Kapteyn-Hunter, of the Djabugay clan, said she was pregnant when she worked as a ranger in the area many years ago. “It certainly put things into perspective,” she laughed. “I used to walk up here pregnant, women back then would have been fit and safe up here from the rains during the wet,” she said.
“They would have used crystals to cut the cord because they believed they had healing powers,” Mrs Kapteyn-Hunter also spoke of postnatal traditional practices at the site. “Or maybe they would have used nautilus shells,” added Mrs Brim. There’s no denying the site’s a far cry from the mainstream birthing suites of today. But Djabugay elder Mr Brimm was quick to point out it’s nothing short of an ‘open air maternity ward’ - formerly operating in the heart of ‘the largest pharmacy in the world: the Australian forest’. “Here we have a natural antiseptic: Cocky Apple. And smell this…it’s like Dencorub,” Mr Brimm openly shared his extensive knowledge of traditional medicines. According to custom, each woman assisted with the birth of a child in various ways. “It would have been one of the older ladies, most likely the mum, who cut the cord,” said Mrs Brim. And while the men
often reflected on what her ancestors must have endured during childbirth. “Being in a place where there’s no modern medical things for them and with the picture I see myself, when the mothers are in childbirth now having their children, it would have been a very severe pain, whatever they went through.” “But then again you look at it in a customary way, the beliefs they would have had might have made it easier for the woman going through birth.” Mrs Brimm said she wished she could offer more knowledge about the site but explained that a lot of Indigenous knowledge surrounding traditional birthing practices was either lost or kept secret. “I’m sure they would have had their bush medicines and the belief in bush medicine… that would have eased the pain for them in that respect,” she said. “I can remember Milton (Mrs Brimm’s late, beloved husband) and I telling you here about the gum tree for dysentery, we still believe in that.” She elaborated: “Say if there was something there that was made out of bush roots, the shrub roots – they (the female elders) might have eased the woman’s pain by telling her to drink it.”
... an open air maternity ward in the heart of the largest pharmacy in the world: the Australian forest.
Upon arriving at the sacred site, a cave ‘chamber’ existing under a large granite boulder with a glorious view of mountains and gullies, Mrs Kapteyn-Hunter reflected: “I can’t imagine giving birth in there…it’s so peaceful… but I had all four children in the hospital.”
Martha Brim, also a Djabugay descendant and mother of four, entered the cave. “It would have been hard,” she said, as she pointed to a traditional painting of a woman giving birth. However, she stressed her ancestors would have been prepared psychologically. “The women would have been chanting and singing,” she said. “They would have had mats covering the ground and traditional medicines.” An extensive range of vitamins and minerals were readily available and played an important role in prenatal and postnatal care. Highly valued by expecting mothers was the region’s abundant source of red termite mounds - a reliable source of magnesium and iron. “They crushed up chunks of termite mounds and mixed it with water before drinking it,” Mrs KapteynHunter shared traditional prenatal tips.
were locked out from ‘women’s business’, they still played a vital role of protection during the sacred birthing ritual. “Senior males would form a perimeter charged in making sure no-one was looking in,” Mr Brimm explained. Mr Brimm said all children born at the site, male or female, would have been eagerly welcomed into the tribe. “Even though we are a patriarchal tribe the females were held in high esteem.” “Everyone knows Grandma’s the boss.” Mr Brimm’s mother and Indigenous elder, Flo Brimm, who lives in Kuranda has 18 grandchildren and 48 great grandchildren. She didn’t walk the trek but laughed in affirmation when told of Mr Brimm’s remark: “That’s right! That is quite true, to all the children, Grandma is the top one that will be there and the person that they will go to – before they go to cousins or aunties - Grandma’s always the one.” Having given birth to her own four children at the Mareeba Hospital, just west of the traditional sacred site, she said she
Mrs Brimm said she recently called on her older sister, Martha Hunter – “who has a greater understanding of traditional birthing practices” – to learn more. “Martha told me that there would have only been witch doctors and also, she said to me that they would have boiled up their bush medicines…and that the Grandmothers would have been the boss and taken over.” Mrs Brimm stressed that there was also a scientific foundation to traditional medicine. Back at the sacred site, her second born, Mr Brimm pointed to an edible fig. “Taste floury?” He laughed. His flowing sense of humour mixed with extensive traditional knowledge ensured a thoroughly enjoyable and fascinating guided tour. Proud to showcase the sacred site, Mr Brimm was once a ranger working in the area, in 1994, when it was briefly opened to the public. “We built most of this track with a pick and shovel,” he said. “Unfortunately Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
29
Bulwaundji the government closed it off to the public as it wasn’t properly maintained – largely due to a lack of ongoing funding.” It seems a terrible waste, considering the myriad of educational signage already in place and the rare cultural experience to be had in far north Queensland. Mr Brimm said he would strongly support an official reopening of the site. “We were even going to have a four wheel drive to transport those people who couldn’t walk up the track due to health reasons,” he added. “If the track was reopened we could run guided tours and offer a unique, traditional adventure with the world. It would create a few jobs too. It’s hard to say just how old the site is but official documentation suggests roughly the 1700s,” Mr Brimm said. “Prior to that who knows how old because if you look at the early rock art when the anthropologists first viewed it the technology wasn’t available to accurately date it. So really it’s still in the research stage,” he gestured to the hues of red and yellow ochre coloured art gallery. “There another reason this site was chosen to bring forth life,” he eyes met with the largest figure imprinted on the boulder. “Ganandoran,” he announced. According to local legend, two Bulway women lit the fire which ultimately resulted in a ‘giant tribeman’s’ death. “Bulway people are a clan of the Djabugay tribe,” Mr Brimm explained. “They wanted to burn the grass to flush out cassowary - to eat - not knowing that he was resting.” A smaller image of a mother and child is artfully recorded in orange and yellow pigment - further highlighting the historical events of tragedy and blessing which unfolded at the sacred site.
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
Further up the mountain rests another rock inked in the same blend of ochre and blood, however this particular site flags ‘male territory’. “I view it as a big gallery…if they killed rock wallabies and other animals, they documented it here,” Mr Brimm said. “That way others would know it was a good hunting ground.” It’s also a gateway to a second Indigenous sacred site, an area once sanctioned for the initiation of Djabugay tribesmen. “The more times you were initiated with cuts the greater the status of your maturity, skills, wisdom and agility,” Mr Brimm said as he unveiled the sacred site which rests mountaintop. The walk to the initiation site requires a moderate level of fitness. But the view from the top is a picturesque reward for anyone granted permission by ‘Tribal Council’ to meet with the summit. “You can see why both traditional sacred sites were revisited by clans of the Djabugay tribes over the years,” Mr Brimm gestured to the stunning surrounds before calling it a day. The women were kept from men’s business; the men were kept from women’s business. “A baby always united the family,” Mr Brimm smiled as he passed the sacred birthing site on his descent. “They had food cooked traditionally, underground, and they also had a ceremony bringing forth the child into the world. “Now they do it differently these days…wetting the baby’s head in the pub,” he laughed. While the track is officially closed to the public, Mr Brimm welcomes inquiries relating to the site. He can be contacted via email at: wulambuwalbarra@gmail.com
LOCAL ABORIGINAL EXPERIENCES Only about a third of Australians know about Australian Aboriginal history but fortunately you won’t find a better place to learn, than right here in the Far North. Here are just a few of the places you can begin your education into Indigenous Australia.
Mossman Gorge Centre This new Indigenous eco tourism development will help assist you in planning your way around the Mossman Gorge. Browse through their art gallery, hear a Dream Time story from the Kuku Yalanji people and enjoy a genuine experience with Indigenous Australia. www.mossmangorge.com.au
Djabugay Aboriginal Guided Tours Take a 40 minute guided walking tour through the rainforest, walking in the footsteps of the Djabugay people. Make a day of it with a trip on Skyrail and the Kuranda Scenic Railway. www.skyrail.com.au
Tjapukai Cultural Experience Tjapukai showcases Indigenous culture, allowing guests to watch theatrical performances and engage in interactive activities, learning the traditional culture and customs of the Indigenous people. The 2013 redevelopment phase will see Tjapukai with new and exciting products and facilities giving more concept, diversity and direct interaction for visitors. www.tjapukai.com.au
PICTURED Mossman Gorge Centre
Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
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WORDS Jennelle Jeffery
Top Left: Pormpuraaw mother Natasha Charlie and son Ray Ray • Top Right: Nancy Woods and family. Bottom Left: Pormpuraaw Elder Maggie Koo-aga and Rachel Bradley • Bottom Right: Rachel Bradley with Napranum girls L to R: Raystrana Nglalatta, Rachel, Lilly York, Shalika Callope and Taniesha Charger.
l: ia c e p S y a D s ’ r e th A Mo
B ea u ty in th e B u sh Receiving flowers on Mother’s Day is undeniably sweet to say the least; but hearing that your ‘children picked and sold frangipanis to raise money for cancer’, on any given day, is priceless. Two amazing far northern mums bring home the meaning of motherhood and the importance of giving back to the communities in which we live. They’re worlds apart yet bound to a relationship ‘thicker than water’: motherhood; both women balancing this vital role with their livelihoods – successful businesses – and staying true to their convictions of ‘community contribution’ along the way. It’s no wonder Cairns-based Rachel Bradley and Nancy Woods, stationed south west of Hope Vale, were quick to connect during an impromptu meeting at a restaurant recently. Mum of two, Rachel Bradley is a successful entertainer, artist and businesswoman, while also having proved she’s tirelessly passionate about community development. Close to her heart is Mrs Bradley’s community-based “Beauty in the Bush” program. The creative and fun venture aims to highlight the natural beauty of girls and women living in far northern Indigenous communities, offering a fun experience of glamour face-painting and photography. “I get to paint smiles on people’s faces and (it) lifts their spirits for a moment, to see the reflection of their own beauty that
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PHOTO Taken by Peppermint Lane Photography. Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
is in us all,” Mrs Bradley said. The inspiring project came about after Mrs Bradley and her business partner, Terry Doyle, had been touring Cape communities for two years with their family fun show troupe – aimed at entertaining children with music, makeup and movement. Mrs Bradley has since brought Beauty in the Bush to 11 Indigenous communities including Hope Vale, Aurukun, Bamaga and Pormpuraaw – often accompanied by her two daughters 7-year-old Emily and Jasmine, 18. “They both have come on tours with me up to Cape communities and I will continue to try and incorporate them into my working lifestyle, so we all get to spend fun time together,” she shared. “It is very important to me these days to recognise and balance my community, entertaining work and odd hours with spending quality time with my children as much as possible.” But while the humble mum continues to unwittingly inspire so many, it’s her own children that effortlessly paint the smile on her face: “Recently on a Sunday afternoon, Jasmine my seven year old spontaneously picked some flowers from neighbourhood
gardens, with a friend named Lily,” she said. “They made a box and decorated it and decided to sell them to raise money for cancer, as a teacher at her school and a friend of ours had just died suddenly from the disease.” “Those flowers came from many gardens and people paid 10 dollars for one frangipani...what a lovely community and all it took was two little girls with kind hearts.” She said magical moments like these make every day Mother’s Day. When asked how she spends the official ‘Mother’s Day’ - celebrated May - Mrs Bradley’s response comes as no surprise: “I have celebrated Mother’s Day for the past five years by entertaining many other mothers and families at Mondo’s bar and grill. I invite my mum and my girls each time and am grateful to share a lovely lunch and have my family there to sing to. Maybe this year they will entertain me,” she added with a wink. Mrs Bradley explained that it was through being entertained by some young and talented School of Distance Education students at Mondo’s that she met mum of five, Nancy Woods. “She is tutor to her five children and teaches them from primary
Want to g et no t iced by t h e right p eo ple? to secondary levels,” she said. “Well I was blown away…as I struggle with grade two homework… I had to meet this mother.” And so did we!
“All communities have to develop… it is getting them to develop in a positive way that helps and suits all of the community that is the challenge,” she explained.
True to Mrs Bradley’s description, “Nancy is a humble, hard-working station mother from up remote Cape way.” Living south west of Hope Vale, Mrs Woods not only schools her five children, but also runs a full-time cattle station -Mount Olive- and trucking business with her husband Robert.
“We always try to go the rodeo and races in Laura and Cooktown and we do the local agriculture show as well.” Mrs Woods said as a mother she hopes more than anything that her children are grounded and value the things that are important: family and friends. Such values are also supported by the “Distance Ed” community. “Very strong friendships are formed when you do Distance Ed,” she added.
“I had all five (Ben, Penny, Anna, Don and Kali) in the school room together doing school for three years,” she said. “My youngest started when my eldest was in year nine.” Mrs Woods said schooling her children via “Distance Ed” offers many opportunities of friendship, while providing a flexible framework for busy, working families. “School has to fit in around the farm and truck business. They get to rear the orphan poddies, help with yard work with the cattle, do lick runs…work with the dogs exercising them feeding etc. They can ride four wheelers, drive vehicles and they help in fire season to check breaks.” And if time permits, the family also contribute to community based development projects and events.
“We have a school camp in Cairns in May where the kids come together and home tutors can meet.” This means Mother’s Day is usually spent preparing for camp. “Every day is Mother’s Day,” Mrs Woods laughed. “Our children usually make me something special on Mother’s Day – like a cake; and I always receive big bright yellow flowers later on in the year,” she paused. “My fifteen year old usually picks a big bunch of frangipanis, down past the old cattle yard, for our wedding anniversary because that’s usually the only thing around November that has any colour left… it’s usually pretty dry.”
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Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
s n o i t a l u Congrat
TRISTAN & LUCAS
! ! S N I W T s ’ It
No parent of multiples will ever forget that moment when they find out they are having two (or more!) babies. Most parents-to-be feel a sense of bewilderment and even shock at receiving the news, perhaps wondering “how are we going to cope?” or “how will this affect my pregnancy?” The Far North Queensland Multiple Birth Association (FNQMBA) offers support, friendship and education to families of multiples. The volunteer committee and members are all parents of multiples so understand the unique challenges of
raising more than one child of the same age. For parents-to-be, the FNQMBA offers regular Expectant Parent Sessions, helping to prepare you for the arrival of your babies. It’s a great opportunity to meet other expecting multiple parents and find out what local services are on offer. For new mums and those with pre-school aged children, they hold monthly ‘Coffee & Play’ mornings at Bentley Park, Edge Hill and Trinity Park. These social outings offer a chance for you to meet other multiple parents and talk about any issues you are experiencing. In addition to this, there are
WORDS Heidi Weyling
weekend family fun days and ladies nights throughout the year. Anyone is welcome to attend these gatherings, even if you aren’t yet a member. For members, the FNQMBA hires breastfeeding pillows and hospital-grade double breast pumps for a small fee and a free borrowing service from their extensive library. Plus, to help with the costs of twins, you will receive exclusive member discounts and be kept updated about any secondhand baby equipment other members have for sale!
Multiple Birth Awareness Week 10 - 17 March 2013 Held annually to celebrate the joy of parenting multiples and also to educate communities and professionals about the pleasures and challenges of parenting twins, triplets and more. Multiple Birth Awareness Week is 10-17 March. The FNQMBA will be hosting a Cairns Esplanade Walk from the Pirate Ship to Muddies Playground, followed by a sausage sizzle on Sunday 10 March. If you would like to join in with your multiples, contact the FNQMBA on 0439 797 221 for more information.
www.fnqmba.org.au
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
Bantoft Family
WILLOW & MAIAH
eco-fabulous finds for kids
J ACK & KAYLA
Bantoft Family JENNIFER, LUKE, TRISTAN & LUCAS (TWINS – 3 YEARS) Finding out I was expecting twins was a massive shock to the system, but being a compulsive organiser, I made sure I read as much as possible to be prepared for anything once Tristan and Lucas were born. However, nothing prepared me for the shock of going into premature labour and having them at 31 weeks. When we bought the boys home from hospital we had a lot of family visiting - so there were a lot of extra pairs of hands to help out but, once the visits were over and Luke had gone back to work, I found it hard to be organised enough to go out to playgroups. I also found that the twins received so much attention (not always good) that I didn’t want to go out. I then decided to join the Multiple Birth Association. The first person I spoke to was so friendly and understanding it
made me excited to go along to a play morning. The first time I went along, the boys were about four months old and I was frazzled. I walked into the room and instantly a few of the other mums jumped up to help me get the pram in; they made me coffee and made me sit and drink it while it was hot! It was the first time in ages that I didn’t feel like I was being judged for having two crying babies, or for feeding two babies at the same time or for having a meltdown when I didn’t know what to do anymore. Meeting people who had been through and were going through the same as me felt fantastic and I got so many helpful hints and tips along the way.
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The FNQMBA has been a sanity saver on many occasions and I have made some great new friends too.
Bradfield-Keary Family PAUL, KAREN, JACK & KAYLA (TWINS - 6 YEARS)
The best part of being involved with the FNQMBA is knowing that you have support from others that have already been in the same situation as yourself, and sharing experiences. Also getting
together with other families and watching how different our multiples change over the years and the lifetime friendships that are formed with other families.
O’Bryan Family ANTHONY, SARAH, XAVIER - 3, WILLOW & MAIAH (TWINS - 1 YEAR) Having twins means double the kisses, double the hugs, double the laughs and double the smiles. This greatly outweighs the double sleep deprivation, double teething and double the mess - my house looks like a baby shop exploded in it. Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
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n e r d l i h C g Teachin s
e v l e s m e h t t c to prote by Petra Lovey
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
For many years, parents have taught their children to avoid strangers. While this is important advice, the truth is that most sexual predators are already acquainted with their victims. Talking to your child about feeling safe and unsafe and understanding their feelings are perhaps the most effective factors in preventing child abuse. A child as young as three is able to say when they do not like something and when they are feeling scared or sad. As soon as a child is old enough to begin understanding their feelings and name their body parts, they are old enough to be taught protective behaviours.
2 Children need to be able to name and
hand onto a piece of paper and your
trust their feelings. Help your child
child chooses five adults they trust
name their feelings; for example when
to talk to when they feel unsafe. It is
they feel happy, sad or angry. Ask your
best if the adults come from a variety
child how their body feels when they
of environments to maximise access
are frightened, like butterflies in their
for your child. Tell your child to keep
tummy or shaky knees and hands.
speaking up until they feel safe again.
3 Teach your child about their bodies.
7 Practice how your child might respond.
Talk to children about the names of
You and your child can practice what
conclusively that children who have the
their body parts, including private
to do in possible risky situations. Teach
best safety knowledge and safety skills are
parts. Tell them the proper names as
your child that it is okay to say “no” or
those that are well informed.
well as the more commonly used terms
“stop that, I will tell”.
Research findings have shown
We don’t want to make them fearful and we don’t want to become ‘helicopter parents’ hovering to keep them safe, but we want children to be strong and confident in the knowledge that they have the right to be safe with people. So how do we keep our children safe? There are two themes that should always be emphasised with children regardless of their age: 1 We all have the right to feel safe all of the time.
and teach them that they are in charge
Protective behaviours can make a real
of their bodies. This includes speaking
difference in helping to keep your child
up if anyone touches any part of them
safe, especially in combination with
and they feel uncomfortable. Bath
a positive parent-child relationship,
time is a good opportunity to do this.
good communication and appropriate
Let children know that it is not okay
supervision.
for others to touch their private parts unless someone is helping them with toileting or at the doctors.
contact to you immediately, and that they
4 Discuss good touches and bad touches. Introduce ideas about good and bad touches by talking about how nice a safe hug from a safe person feels as
2 Nothing is so awful that we can’t talk about it with someone we trust.
opposed to feeling uncomfortable. 5 Discuss good secrets and bad secrets.
The following are the basic steps
In some families, children are taught to
in teaching your child protective
keep surprises but not to keep secrets.
behaviours:
A surprise is information that will
1 Children need to know what it means
eventually be shared, such as a present
to feel safe. Ask your child what sorts of situations they feel safe in and what they feel scared in.
Make sure your child knows that they should report any incident of sexual
or a party. 6 Make a Safety Network. You can do this by drawing around your child’s
will be respected and loved under any circumstance. References: Parentline-Parent Information Sheet, Protective Behaviours. Catholic Education Office Counsellors (Toowoomba)-Protective Behaviours - How Do I talk To My Child About it?
For more information or if you are in a crisis contact: BRAVEHEARTS on 1800 272 831 www.bravehearts.org.au Or call PARENT LINE - 1300 30 1300 www.parentline.org.au
Sunday 17th March 2013
The BIGGEST St Patricks Day Party in Cairns!
IRISH DANCERS from midday IRISH GAME Prizes & Raffles LIVE IRISH BANDS Get Reel from 12pm Mangrove Jack from 5pm Roving Leprechaun Face Painting KIDS ROOM open all day Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
39
Leading light 30 years on
A little known but much celebrated organisation in Cairns turns 30 this year, marking an important milestone in Indigenous Child Maternal Health Care. At the second annual Excellence in Indigenous Health Awards held in Darwin in 2011, Mookai Rosie Bi-Bayan was announced winner in the Child and Maternal Health Category and was awarded the National Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Health Worker Association Health Service Legend Award in 2012 for the “Development of the professional and delivery of Primary Health Care to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Communities”. But Lillian Simpson, CEO says that Mookai and its team is not about winning awards, which are only very minor in comparison to what we achieve daily.
“Importantly we’ve really made a difference in the quality care of Indigenous Women and Children from throughout North Queensland for over three generations; it’s something that we’re all proud of’. Only a small organisation Mookai Rosie Bi-Bayan which means Aunty Rosie’s Place was officially established in 1983 by Mrs. Rose Richards with help hands from Bonnie Simpson and Esme Hudson along with many others. Long before that Mrs. Richards would take Women and Children from remote communities in Far North. During the late 1970s, Mrs. Rose Richards (Mookai Rosie) an Aboriginal Liaison Officer with Cairns Base Hospital became aware of the abnormally high instances of Aboriginal children requiring treatment for diseases, many of which their mothers were not familiar with and therefore could not treat. Often after long-term hospitalisation these children were discharged and sent back to their communities in Cape York, Torres Strait Islands and the Gulf of Carpentaria where (in those days) follow up treatment was inadequate or impossible, causing patients and their families to return to Cairns to be seen time and time again.
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
Slowly, Aunty Rose began taking these patients into her own
With many of these cases being high risk pregnancies, Mookai
home where she provided nutritious meals, taught the mothers
Rosie has established a model of care that supports the women
to cook and instructed the mothers in the care of their children’s
through the period prior to the birth and after the birth. The
ailments, with favourable results. It soon became obvious that an
mothers of the babies who are born with a low birth weight are
appropriate place to house such patients was urgently required.
supported by the Health Workers and visiting specialists until they
Together with Mick Miller and Clarrie Grogan, Rose sought funding
attain the weight required for discharge and a return to their home
for a “Half Way House”.
community.
In 1983 the funding was approved and the “Half Way House began operations, firstly in McLeod Street and then relocated to Trinity Park where it became known as “Rosie’s Farm”. After attaining funding for a permanent residence, “Rosie’s Farm” was relocated and re-established as a 12 bed facility at 105
With the combination of a cultural safety net and the provision of best practice clinical services, Mookai Rosie provides the quality outcomes for families in this region. In August this year Mookai Rosie will celebrate 30 years of
Balaclava Road in Earlville, Cairns. In September 2010, Mookai Rosie
caring for our women from Far North Queensland with a number
Bi-Bayan (MRBB) moved from its 12 bed facility to a purpose built
of events culminating in a giant dinner to celebrate this historic
24 bed facility to meet the increased needs of our clients
milestone; not only a good time but achieving something very
During this time Auntie Rose developed strong relationships with the families from the communities and built trust which has extended throughout the years. There are now 3rd generation clients attending MRBB. Mookai Rosie’s 24 bed facility has two wings, one for the needs
worthwhile - raising funds for a new bus to take clients to and from their medical appointments. This will be an opportunity to pay homage not only to the committed people who were the inspiration behind Mookai Rosie but also thank the staff and community supporters or Mookai Rosie, past and present. This year is a great opportunity for
of women receiving antenatal care with a separate wing for
individuals, organisations and businesses to become a member
women requiring postnatal care. There is also accommodation for
of the wonderful Mookai Rosie family. More information is
women with chronic medical conditions. A client’s stay may vary
available on their website about how you can help and be part
from one night to six months.
of their future journey.
Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
41
s d i k Why
PUSH
your buttons WORDS Michael Grose
Have you noticed how your kids will behave one way with you but not with your partner? They may whine at you to get what they want, but they wouldn’t do the same to your partner. Maybe they’ll cry for your partner when they have done the wrong thing, but they won’t cry for you as they know that tears won’t work. As the good TV professor Dr. Julius Sumner-Miller would say, “Why is it so?” Kids tend to keep the behaviours that work in terms of getting a desirable response from adults, and discard those that don’t get a response. This may sound like a devious plot, but it’s just human nature. The Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler calls this ‘purposeful behaviour’. That is, kids repeat the behaviours that get a response and discard those that don’t work. Adler advised parents not to ask why a child behaves or misbehaves in a certain way but to ask, “What’s the purpose of a child’s behaviour?” And the purpose is usually tied up with your response. So the purpose of a child’s whining may be to get a parent to give in; similarly, tantrums are a form of emotional blackmail aimed at getting parents to giving in. There’s a simple test you can apply to check the notion of purposeful behaviour. If your child always whines at you, but he doesn’t whine to his or her teacher then it’s a fair chance that the whining is aimed at breaking your resistance ... it certainly does for me as whining is definitely a ‘hot button’ of mine. I can’t stand it.
Most misbehaviours fit under one of four broad purposes: 1 To get attention or be noticed; 2 To show power or regain control; 3 To hurt you or make you feel guilty; 4 To make you give up or lower your expectations of children. We all have ‘hot buttons’ that kids will press to make us feel guilty or to get a little control back. One of my children was an expert at making their mother feel guilty ... because guilt was a hot button for her. She’d only have to say ...”but you don’t really love me ...” to have her mother second-guessing a decision she made. I obviously don’t have a very big guilt gland because she never tried to squeeze mine!
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
Sometimes our ‘hot buttons’ will reflect long-held views about parenting, and we simply overreact when kids misbehave. Some parents have strong views about parenting and will respond harshly when even the mildest of words is uttered by a child. These types of hot buttons can make family-life hard work as everyone tends to walk on eggshells to avoid pressing these ‘hot buttons’.
Here are some ideas to help you respond when kids ‘press your hot buttons’: 1 RECOGNISE what gets you upset or gets a response that kids want. ‘Hot buttons’ always get a strong emotional response, including annoyance, anger and feelings of hurt. 2 AVOID the first impulsive reaction when kids misbehave. As a great deal of children’s behaviour is purposeful, don’t react impulsively when kids behave poorly. Stop and think what may be going on. Think, “Is this behaviour for my benefit?” 3 RESPOND differently. If the behaviour is for your benefit, try something different. Perhaps take the wind from the sails of a child who squeezes your guilt gland. Respond to “You don’t love me........” with “You know you could well be right.” Alternatively, smile and give a child a kiss saying “I love you though” and show that the comments have not had an impact. 4 GET a reality check. Sometimes we overreact to kids or have extreme views that kids will take advantage of, or that make family life hard work. Check with a partner or
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a friend to see if your views are healthy. I know I had an unrealistic view of bedroom tidiness for a time, which my wife reminded me wasn’t really in line with my child who was messy by nature. If a child continually presses your ‘hot buttons’, then recognise that you may not be able to change your child, but at least you can alter your response to their buttonpressing. Kids don’t act in a vacuum so they are less likely to behave in ways that get the response they want ... at least that’s how the theory goes!
For more information on the four goals of misbehaviour and how to respond effectively check out my book One Step Ahead at the Parentingideas.com.au bookshop.
Parentingideas.com.au Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
43
What Teachers
! w e n K s t n e r a P h is w
times be a little tricky. They have a It’s not hard to imag ine that life as a teacher can some many challenges. So we decided to go tremendous responsibility and are often faced with ver how they really feel and what inside the mind of a few teachers in the region to disco minds of our children. those challenges are as they strive to help shape the It’s not our job to teach your children everything!
We genuinely care about your children, and want them to succeed, but we aren’t miracle workers. It’s best if you start your child off with good personal hygiene, basic social skills and toilet training before they arrive. That way we can concentrate on helping them to blossom in the areas in which we are trained to help them!
Play is extremely important Children learn so much through play. It increases their attention span. Research has shown children who have lots of opportunities to play and manipulate the environment creatively, will be the most innovative and original thinkers as adults.
Reading should be fun Read with animation and joy. Recite nursery rhymes and read aloud to children every single day. Reading games are encouraged such as finishing rhymes, finding letters or small words. Children need all this language, rhyme, rhythm, repetition and story knowledge before they can learn to read. Don’t try to teach reading. Don’t turn reading time into a tense time. Some parents are competitive about their children learning to read. It’s not a race. Just as every child crawls, walks and talks at different times so too do they learn to read at a different pace.
Better communicators Getting children to listen to you is a skill that can be broken down into four simple rules. Firstly, you must believe 100 percent in the fact that you have something important to say that must be listened to. Children can smell a wavering adult a mile off. Secondly, you must rarely shout. If you talk quietly, children are forced to be quiet to hear you. Also,
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
it is good to keep shouting for emergencies. Thirdly, you must teach young ones to listen by listening yourself. Children learn by example. Lastly, try to keep speech to a minimum. That way, when you speak the child knows that you must have something important to say.
Be a Parent, first Concentrate on being a parent first, and a friend second, to your child. This may sometimes mean putting your foot down and making decisions that they don’t like for their greater good.
Let your children do things for themselves Allowing children to do things for themselves develops both their independence and confidence. These qualities will help them become successful learners. Support and allow your child to do things like carry their own bag, put their lunch box and school supplies away in the designated places in their classroom and pack their own bag in the afternoon. If in your child’s classroom they are able to choose their own reading books or activities let them do just that. If they initially have trouble give them a couple of alternatives to choose from.
Reading is much more than sight words Reading involves a search for meaning and understanding. To be effective readers children need much more than a knowledge of sight words. They need to learn the sounds of language and how they correspond to print. They need to know how to use language appropriately in different situations and they need to learn to understand and use different types of texts, such as signs, letters and computer games. Remember that reading to your child and talking about the story with them is still one of the most powerful things you can do to help your child become a great reader.
Stay Positive!
playdate at
Facepainting and MENT FREE ENTERTAIN
Bring your mothers group or meet some new people. Muddy’s are putting on a morning tea and all regular coffee, tea or hot chocolates are only $3. Money raised to benefit local char ities.
EVERY 2ND TUESDAY OF EACH MONTH 9.30 - 11.30AM 12th MARCH • 8th APRIL • 12th MAY Bookings are essential for catering purposes. Please email playdate@parentingcompanion.com.au
If you have a negative perception of school, don’t pass this on to your child. The world is becoming increasingly competitive, and it’s no longer easy to achieve things without a basic all-round education. Encourage your child to do their best at school, and set aside some time each day for homework. All children have subjects that they find difficult, or teachers they don’t get on with, but don’t let that get them down. Talk with them about what they do like at school and encourage them to make the best of the areas that they do enjoy.
We’re on your side A child’s success is our success so even when we may contact you with a problem, it’s only because we’re trying to work with you to resolve any conflicts that may be getting in the way of your child’s success.
HAVE YOUR NEXT PARTY AT MUDDY’S CAFE! Kids party, hot food and antipasto platters available. For more information email muddyscafe@gmail.com
174 ESPLANADE • Ph: 4051 0388 Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
45
How does your
Babysleep WORDS Pinky McKay
‘Sleeping like a baby’ is quite different from adult sleep. Like us, a baby’s sleep is divided into light (REM or Rapid Eye Movement) and deep (non-REM) sleep, but adults have several levels of deep sleep in comparison to babies, and researchers classify newborn sleep as either ‘active’ or ‘quiet’ sleep.
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
If you do some baby watching, you will notice that the label ‘active sleep’ is very appropriate: you may notice your baby’s eyes dart from side to side under his eyelids, he may frown or wriggle his arms and legs, his breathing is irregular and he may even cry or whimper – all without waking. In contrast, during ‘quiet sleep’, although your baby may have an occasional startle response or make sucking movements with his mouth, he is generally very still with quiet, regular breathing. The greatest difference between infant and adult sleep is that newborns and adults have different sleep cycles. While adults have a 90-minute sleep cycle and spend about 75 percent of their sleep time in quiet (non-REM) sleep and about 25 percent in active (or REM) sleep, babies have much shorter sleep cycles of about 45-minutes and spend twice as much time in active sleep than an adult does. Your baby’s sleep cycle will be divided into about 20 to 25 minutes each of active and deep sleep, and for the first three to four months, she will enter deep sleep through an active (REM) sleep state. This is why ‘self- settling’ is an unrealistic expectation at this stage. Babies also arouse frequently. Arousals are related to the maturity of your baby – the younger the baby, the more arousals
are normal. Premature babies, for instance, tend to spend more time in active sleep and may wake more frequently at night than full-term babies for the first few months or even longer. Then again, some premature babies sleep a lot and need to be woken to feed, at least in the early weeks. According to researchers such as Professor James McKenna, these frequent arousals that are characteristic of infant sleep are part of an infant’s inbuilt survival mechanism and may play a protective role against SIDS. It may be easier to accept your baby’s light sleep if you see this as ‘smart sleep’, playing an important role in brain development. During active infant sleep, there is an increase in the production of certain nerve proteins – the building blocks of the brain – and blood flow to the brain nearly doubles relative to the deepest sleep state. It is also thought that the brain uses active sleep to process information. This may explain why it is common for babies who have been sleeping well for weeks or months to become wakeful as they enter new developmental stages and ‘practise’ their new skills such as crawling or standing up. It must be rather like the difficulty we have trying to sleep after a busy day, a big night out or perhaps as we start a brand new job.
Gentle Beginnings... Pinky McKay’s books, parenting resources and her free newsletter Gentle Beginnings can be found on her website:
www.pinkymckay.com.au
Things we love
The Kiddysac Kindy Sheet Set The Kiddysac Kindy Sheet Set with drawstring bag is just one of the many versatile parenting products found at Mummys’ Little Helpers. Drawstring bag can also be used as a library or swim bag. Free shipping of Kiddysac until 31st May 2013 with code “CPFP”. www.mummyslittlehelpers.com.au
ADOORABEAR, cute but tough! Acts as an anti-slamming device creating a buffer to help prevent finger jams on little fingers. Toddlers love having Adoorabear “on guard” at sleep time. Fits on all door handles. $35 Ph: 0488 106 922 • www.adoorabear.com
Fish’n’Chips with a twist! Frydays Fish and Chippery, located in the heart of Cairns, is your number one spot for good ol fish and chips with a twist. Serving only the freshest local produce try one of their bang’n burgers, locally caught fish and seafood tempters, sumptuous salads or clever chip creations. There’s even cool kids meals. Corner of Abbott and Shield Street, Cairns
SPONGELLE Multi-age Bean Bags - $45 plus shipping Your baby will love their new seat to sit and view the world in, or to relax and sleep. Each bean bag seat comes with: 1 x baby harness cover, 1 x plain cover (for when your child is older) and PVC base. Easy to zip off and wash covers. Great range of fabrics, colours and styles to suit your needs. www.babyseatsdirect.com.au or phone 1300 700 427
Spongelle are a range of revolutionary sponges that cleanse, exfoliate and moisturise so your skin looks & feels amazing! Uniquely designed body buffers infused with body wash, hydrating olive oil, anti-aging lemongrass, soothing bergamot and detoxifying sea kelp extracts. www.joybells.com.au Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
47
Thanks to
Happy
r e t s a E
Sunday March 31
st
Get the kids creating in the kitchen! It wouldn’t be Easter without Chocolate Eggs! Sue from Cake Rescue gave us some great tips on how you can make & decorate your own chocolate or sugar paste eggs with the kids this Easter. You can either buy some plain solid eggs to decorate, or, if you’re feeling adventurous, hire an egg mould from Cake Rescue and make your own! PICTURED below are sugar eggs filled with little treats. Using a mould, make some eggs. Before sealing the halves together, add your own selection of treats.
Dip Chocolate eggs into cooled, melted chocolate then roll in coloured sprinkles. Baby Marshmallows snipped in half diagonally make great Bunny ears! Stick decorations to eggs with a little melted chocolate. Pipe patterns, flowers or an Easter message onto your eggs with royal icing or melted chocolate. TIPS: Sugar eggs are great for those who are lactose intolerant. Create the perfect Easter gift with cellophane bags, tied with ribbon or little baskets.
For dairy that is delicious, healthy and a great lunchbox staple, try Mungalli Creek. Award- winning local producers of bio-dynamic milk, yoghurt and soft cheeses. www.mungallicreekdairy.com.au
For all of your cake making and decorating ingredients, tools, tins, ideas and lessons – log onto
www.cakerescue.com.au Cairns’ Premier cake supply business! For a 10% discount across all goods purchased in the month of April, use the promo code ‘easter2013’ in the online shop!
For these and other great recipes visit In the Kitchen on our website 48
Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
www.parentingcompanion.com.au
s r e v a s e t a D Autumn
brought to you by
Visit www.cairnskidsactivities.com.au for more great ideas!
Wheelie Mad Hatter’s High Tea Party
Sunday 17th March
The Wheelie Mad Women are holding a Mad Hatter’s High Tea to raise funds for local kids with disabilities. High Tea, Champagne on arrival, Fashion Parade, Charity auction, guest speaker. Tickets $60.
Contact Trudy on 0417 569 602
Friday 10th May
Play School Live in Concert 10am at Brothers World of Entertainment The concert will have Play School fans singing, dancing and jumping for joy as they see Humpty putting on his very own show.
www.brotherscairns.com.au
17th - 26th May
Port Douglas Carnivale Loads of exciting events including Beach Day, Food, Wine and a Taste of Port, Longest Lunch, Street Parade and much more. www.carnivale.com.au
Wayne Leonards Motorcycle Muster
18th & 19th May
Listen out for the roar of Harley Davidson motorcycles making their way from Cairns to Undara, all to raise money for sick kids. Find out how you can support them by visiting www.fnqhf.org.au
www.parentingcompanion.com.au
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
FOR THE MUMS AND DADS Aerobic Pump Boot Camp Box Fit Fitness Challenge Fun Art Pilates Yoga Zumba Ladies Netball Mixed Netball FOR THE KIDS Creche (while Mum works out) 9.00am each day Kinda Gym Recreational Gymnastics
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Kindergarten
racing potential
WORDS Marnie Hitchins
Cairns Montessori takes a progressive approach to education by nurturing the whole child in a natural environment. The centre follows an education philosophy and practice created in the early 1900s by doctor and anthropologist Maria Montessori. She believed in the creation of harmonious environments which were synchronised with child development. Cairns Montessori offers a long day care and registered kindergarten, delivered by 4-year-trained teachers in collaboration with Montessori-trained teachers. “The pedagogy is as relevant today as it was during its inception in 1907. Maria Montessori identified what humans need to be successful and fulfilled and she found that these needs were the same, regardless of time, place and culture,” said centre director Amanda Munro. “We surround the children with beautiful objects they can touch, develop a sense of order that will eliminate some of the chaos from children’s worlds and become friendly with error as it is part of the learning process.’’ Other key features of a Montessori education are to work with materials which
are self-correcting (so children do not need to be told when they are doing something wrong); to develop a love of learning, and find the motivation to work without the need for praise and rewards. “Our Montessori environments are responsive to our human tendencies towards concentration, work, exactness, beauty, mathematical mind, order, adaptation, social interaction, movement, repetition, perfection and communication. When these tendencies are met, the sky is the limit. Each child has an independent education plan and there is no ceiling when it comes to learning.’’ Forest Gardens mum Lisa Ashfield watched her daughter Evie, five, flourish in the Montessori kindergarten last year. Now she sends her three-year-old son Charlie to the centre once a week. “We are originally from New Zealand where Montessori is much better known than it is in Australia. It’s just different; really unique. There are no plastic, fantastic toys. Everything has a place and everything and everyone belongs,” explains Lisa. “It sounds like a contradiction but Montessori allows the children freedom to learn, explore and use their imaginations but also stresses a
structure where everything has its place. I liked that combination of structure and freedom and so did my daughter.” The Early Years Learning Framework (EYLF): Being, Becoming and Belonging has many similarities to the Montessori philosophy. “In fact, the implementation of the EYLF for Cairns Montessori simply meant to continue what we were already doing. A sense of belonging is fundamental to the philosophy and each environment is set up as a mini community to which the children actively contribute,’’ explained Amanda. Mixed age grouping is important in a Montessori setting. ”We have found creative ways to deliver an authentic Montessori program whilst also providing parents with a sound option for kindergarten. Our Montessori program covers learning areas like sensorial, arithmetic, botany, geography, cultural, development of the writing process, reading, language/expression, music and movement. Japanese classes will also resume in term two.” For further information contact Cairns Montessori on (07) 4036 1055 or by email: cairnsmontessori@gmail.com
Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
51
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
*Terms & Conditions apply Valid for travel until 30th May 2013
cher Teafeature ABOVE - Principal Hansen with Cairns West Year 7 students.
(Photo by Luke Simon Photography)
Principal of Cairns West State School since 2008, Michael Hansen was recently awarded the “The Australian Government Minister’s Award for Excellence in Teaching or Leadership in Aboriginal and Torres Strait Education” (pictured above). A former Cairns State High School teacher, Michael has been heavily involved with Indigenous education since 1994 working in places such as Kowanyama, Weipa, Napranum and Doomadgee. What are some of the challenges of running a school? One of the main challenges to being principal of a school is to ensure that I articulate a clear vision. Everyone on staff has the attitude of “I’ll do whatever it takes” to deliver for the students and their parents, and a fundamental belief that “all students can and will be successful”. The Academic Success Guarantee is one program at the school that is delivering significant academic performance improvements for students participating. This guarantee is a signed agreement between the Parents and the School. In summary, parents commit to send the children to school 95 percent or more and the school guarantees that their children will meet, or beat their year level benchmarks. If they don’t, they are individually case managed with additional support until such time as they do.
also very proud of the staff at Cairns West State School, with over 90 staff with a morale of 96.6 percent, the school is well positioned to continue our relentless focus on student improvement..
To date, what has been some of your proudest moments at Cairns West State School? No doubt when we won the Queensland Showcase Award for Academic Excellence. This was the result of the significant improvement in academic results for our students through the Academic Success Guarantee. I am
Where do you hope to take your school are there any particular goals you would like to reach as principal of CWSS? What I want for the students at Cairns West is for them to be strong and proud of who they are; their heritage; their cultural identity, and smart enough to mix it with everyone else.
You have recently been recognised for your achievements in the field of Indigenous education with a national award. What’s the secret to your success? I have to admit I feel extremely humbled and proud to have won this award and am also fully aware that this personal accolade is due to the hard work and dedication of the whole team at the school. The secret to success? High expectations, a fundamental belief that staff and students can and will be successful; real partnerships with parents and carers; and a soul mate - my wife Marlene, who keeps me honest and grounded.
The Nomination
“Mike is the Principal at Cairns West and does an excellent job of making sure that all children are happy to be at school and have access to the righ t education they need. Wit h a high percentage of stud ents being of Aboriginal an d Torres Strait Islander descent, Mike tries his hardest to make everyo ne feel equal, and suppor t those who need it.” K Moorehead
WI N
WHO WILL BE OUR NEXT
TEACHER FEATURE? They could be an educator, mentor, coach or day carer.
Just by nominating you could WIN one of three $30 itunes cards from Talk to the Mac. PLUS our ‘Teacher Feature’ receives a $50 voucher from Harleys Educational Super Store and morning tea with thanks to The Cheesecake Shop Smithfield & Mulgrave Rd.
Nominate them now! Email your nominations to
win@parentingcompanion.com.au THANKS TO:
Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
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An Inclusive
n o i t a c u d E
WORDS Wendy Roche
PHOTOGRAPHY Paulina Neumann - Bumble Bees Photography Across the past three decades there has
by their teachers as having established
support staff, classroom teachers
been a clear shift in Australian schools
special needs and another 18% with
differentiate the curriculum and make
towards inclusive education. With student
emerging developmental difficulties ‘of
adaptations to cater for the various
populations increasingly reflecting
concern.’
abilities of their students. For example,
the diversity of their communities, it is
Schools are increasingly faced with
now common for classrooms to have
the challenge of using available resources
a significant number of students with
to help students with APD to focus on
to develop ways to teach that respond
special needs such as Auditory Processing
to individual differences and benefit all
explicit instruction whilst referring to a
Disorder and Autism Spectrum Disorders.
students. A team approach, which taps
A government endorsed national data
into the intimate knowledge of families
teachers may use an amplification system
visual checklist of what is expected for a student with ASD. Beyond ensuring ‘safety nets’ of
collection on students with disabilities is
and the expertise of professionals
due to begin this year, however data from
such as audiologists, psychologists
support are in place for teachers, students
the 2009 Australian Early Development
and therapists, is vital in developing
and peers, when catering for students
Index census found that 4% of children
individual educational plans. Usually with
with special needs, seeing children first
in their first year of school were reported
the support from learning enrichment/
and their difficulties second is paramount.
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
In Partnership with Parents
Living with Auditory Processing Disorder (APD)
WORDS Cynthia Slattery
My 11 year old daughter, Ashleigh, is truly an inspiration to me. Each day she heads to school, she gives nothing less than 100 percent. This is not extraordinary for most children, however the basic tasks of reading and comprehension are a struggle for Ashleigh as she has Auditory Processing Disorder, or APD.
solution; it did give us a starting point.
When Ashleigh initially had problems with her reading, it was put down to her not having an aptitude towards English and skipping a year level when we moved from interstate. However all attempts with her teachers to improve her reading skills failed. Homework became an incredibly stressful time for us at home, with both of us in tears due to the sheer frustration of not knowing why Ashleigh was not able to read, spell or comprehend the task. When her Year Four teacher recommended that she receive further assessment by a speech pathologist, not understanding the full scope of a speech pathologist’s role, my husband and I were confused. After all, she could speak perfectly fine! This assessment and subsequent report from the Audiologist confirmed that Ashleigh had APD.
auditory processing is critical to ensure
The fact that we had a diagnosis of what was causing the problems for Ashleigh did not provide an immediate
become a teacher, specialising in Learning
Ashleigh attended lessons with the speech pathologist and receives additional help from her Learning Enrichment Teacher at school. She is being given the tools to apply to her work. Her Learning Enrichment Teacher, Wendy Roche explains, “An understanding of Ashleigh’s
Catholic schools recognise parents as the first and most important educators of their children. We aim to support parents and enhance a home/school partnership, as we strive to deliver a quality, caring education that focuses on the development of the whole child – not only academically, but also socially, emotionally, spiritually, physically and culturally. In partnership with families, we nurture social and emotional learning that is key to success in school, home life, work and the world of tomorrow.
that classroom adaptations and learning support is targeted to meet her individual learning needs. This individualisation, alongside ongoing collaboration with Ashleigh’s family, and ultimately Ashleigh’s ever positive approach to learning and life, is a winning combination. Ashleigh reports that she now feels understood.” Understandably Ashleigh struggled not only with the APD, but with not being “normal” like her peers. Students have made fun of her “baby” reading and having additional help. But my daughter is strong and is truly amazing. She completes
Experience the Catholic school difference and empower your child to reach their true potential. Visit our website for contact details of all our schools.
her schoolwork in conjunction with additional tutoring she is undertaking and is learning to ignore any negative comments. And her career aspiration? To Disorders to help children in the future. Yes, she truly is my inspiration.
55 www.cns.catholic.edu.au
Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
Living with Aspergers WORDS Torstyn Harold PHOTOGRAPHY Paulina Neumann - Bumble Bees Photography
I live, breath, walk and talk the word. It’s the reason I chose my husband . It’s the most incredible and deeply sincere smile on my son’s face, it’s the sudden outbursts of pure frustration that I will never understand, it’s the conversations with teachers, it’s the heartache in the playground, it’s the pride of incredibly high achievements and the agony of disappointment, it’s the little toys called ‘figits’, the lists and the charts, it’s organisation, prevention, support and understanding, it’s many, many things, but mostly, it’s my husband and my son. So how does it feel to be married to a person who has Aspergers? If you’d asked me a few years ago, I would have had to ask you to explain what Aspergers was. Now though, when I look back, I not only see the young, good looking guy that he was, I not only hear his brilliant accent and his words of wisdom and wonder, I see the innocence and honesty that drew us close. I see the way he looked at me and understood things in ways I never could. I see him eating with his hands because he loves the feeling of the food. I remember how tightly he pulled me to his side as we walked, I could barely manage a step. I hear him tell me stories
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
of his childhood, playing with cars even when he was 15 years old, not ever really having any friends and how surprised I felt at the thought. I remember walking into his bedroom for the first time, confused as to why it looked like a bedroom for a little boy. I see him grow every day, learning from the guys that he works alongside, talking about their behaviour as though it was a foreign language. I hear him asking questions after the birth of our children, why do they do that? He is making sense of all things. He is constantly choosing his path. I see all the things that make him, him … this beautiful man. I see all of the things that make him special and unique … all the traits of Aspergers. There has never and will never be anyone quite like Alex. I love him because he is unique and beautiful, I love all the traits that squeeze him ever so neatly under the title of Aspergers, but even though these are the things that I love about him and the reason that I was drawn to him, they are equally my frustrations and the very things that could tear us apart. I wage a war against myself over desire and instinct, to have things just happen
and occur and figure themselves out, instead of writing another damn recipe in our ‘how to’ book. How do you explain to someone that you want oomph and passion returned and what that even is? That although it was fun to be the leader for a while, it’s half time and you want to change sides. I don’t know, I don’t think that you can, but I don’t think that you can always go without it either, or maybe I don’t think that I can always go without it. I look at him, he looks at me and he wants to figure this out, he was a misunderstood child before we met, he never belonged there. They didn’t know him because they didn’t look for him. I did. I looked for someone exactly like him, I saw all that he could be and now he is scared that no one will ever feel like this again. I am home to him. It is a beautiful gift and an incredible burden, I want him to see me too, but his world is so complicated that most of the time he sees only what I am to him. I confuse him and so does our little girl, while he confuses me and so does our little boy. They say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, so where in the hell are people with Aspergers from and how do I get there?
Williams Graham Carman Solicitors Family Law Team Accredited Specialists* Arbitration and Mediation Children’s Matters De facto Relationships Separation and Divorce Binding Financial Agreements Estate Planning
Expert Legal Solutions
* Eddy Lago and Amanda Millyard are QLS Accredited Specialists in Family Law
COMMUNITY - VALUE - CONVENIENCE
WARREN ENTSCH IS WORKING TO MAKE CHILD CARE AFFORDABLE!
• ABS figures show the cost of child care has risen by 22 per cent in two years; a result of Labor’s sweeping changes to providers’ regulations and staff ratios. • Child care providers don’t want child care to be inaccessible, but are struggling with growing costs and excessive paperwork. • Parents are finding it hard to return to work because child care isn’t affordable or available when they need it. • Child care options can be limited for families in regional/remote areas.
Phone: (07) 4046 1111 Email: cairns@wgc.com.au Visit: www.wgc.com.au 1 A Water Street, Cairns City
Information Packs for Parents My office has a limited number of packs available for parents in the electorate of Leichhardt. These include: • useful details on paid parental leave • a growth chart to record your child’s milestones • handy stationery for around the home • a booklet outlining how a Coalition Government will help families • a copy of the ‘Kids Alive, do the Five’ Living with Water DVD, a guide to water safety for under 5s. If you would like a pack, or if you have a Federal issue that I can help you with, please contact my office.
The Coalition has pledged a Productivity Commission inquiry into child care — we are committed to ensuring child care becomes more affordable, available and f lexible, meeting the needs of both local parents and the child care sector. Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
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k r o w e Hom The
SLOUCH!!
Between heavy school bags, slouching on the couch with ipod in hand or doing homework at the kitchen table, our children are often laying horrible foundations for their posture. WORDS Amanda Gale - Amanda Gale Physiotherapy
Poor posture is one of the elements that leads to injuries later in life. How many times did you hear your mother tell you “don’t slouch, shoulders back, tummy in”? Well, Mum was on the right track and now with children spending more time in front of computers the problems could potentially grow. Children’s poor posture may be due to the lack of core stability but sitting at the computer or an incorrectly set up homework area should also be addressed.
what good posture should feel like. Mums and Dads if your posture is poor then there is a high chance our little ones are sitting and standing just like we do!
Sitting in front of a computer shortens shoulder and chest muscles and elongates back muscles, leading to a hunched-over posture. To help your child learn good posture, instead of nagging, try to make it fun, instead. Here are some quick tips:
A heavier backpack may encourage your child to lean forward. If we buy children shoes to grow into then they often trip over their feet – it is the same for backpacks as it should fit now to avoid dragging the shoulders back. There is also a lot to be said for being organised and only packing what you need for each day!
Copy cat Demonstrate good and bad posture, and have your child copy your movements. Our do this in front of a mirror so they can actually see what they look like. If your child normally slouches, he may not know
School bag check Ensure there are wide shoulder straps and check that your child’s backpack weighs no more than 10 percent of his body weight. If the load is on the heavy side consider chest or belly straps to help transfer some of the load.
Trade in the bean bag Have your child sit on a ball during television time as sitting on stability (fit) balls works the core muscles.
AMANDA GALE
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
Chair Desk and computers chairs need to be suitable size for your child. Check that there are approximately 2 inches between the front edge of the seat and your child’s knees. Make sure the chair has arm supports so that their elbows rest within an angle to the computer key board. Legs should not be crossed and tucked under their bottom but rather knees positioned to the floor at an approximate 90 to 120 degree angle.
Rest, stretch and be active Encourage your child to take stretch breaks during the day. Have your child reach his hands above his head and lean back for short stretches. Encourage your child to be physically active, this will help them build and maintain a strong spine Consult your family physiotherapist if your child’s posture is a consistent problem. Physiotherapists can teach you more exercises and explain the benefits of good posture.
Friday 29th March Sunday 14th April
MM7155
s y a d i l o School H small Whitewater FUN!
The Young Company Discover the magic of drama with TYC. Participants make lots of new friends and improve their self-confidence, communication and presentation skills, finishing with a performance. Holiday and term programs available for 2yrs – 17yrs. Work shops available from South Cairns through to Northern Beaches.
Aussie Drifterz off ers you a unique an d eco-friendly tour wi th small whitewater fun, suitable for ch ildren and adults ali ke. Tube through tree tunnels, freshwater snorkel, make natur al facepaints, swim or just chill out: it’s the best value tour in Ca irns!
Awarded the 2011 Certificate of Excelle nce by TripAdvisor
Ph: 0401 318 475 www.aussiedrifter z.
Multi-sport Madness! Friday morning 9am until 10:30am
net
until 10.30am 9 am2844 ing4032 Friday morn Ph: Cairns Indoor Sports 164 Mayers Street Manunda www.cairnsindoorsports.com.au
20/01/13 9:44 PM
7155 1pp A6.indd 1
169 Bunda St Cairns City
Ph: 4041 4066
164 Mayers Street Ph: 4032 2844 www.cairnsindoorsports.com.au
www.theyoungcompany.com.au
BULLYPROOFING
Early childhood development th rough age specific mar tial ar ts program s gives your child the ed ge. We specialis e in “Bullyproofing” your child. This program provides unpara lleled confidenc e in the shor test possib le time.
HAVE A CROC!
The award win ning Hartley’s Crocodile Adventures is a favourite scho ol holiday destination. Se e the daily show s as they feed the crocs, koalas & cassow aries and get out th e snakes! More crocodile experiences w ith the lagoon cruise and a visit to the croc farm.
Captain Cook Highway, Wangetti Beach ph 4055 3576 CA IR NS w w w.crocodile adventures.co m
Ph: 4057 7869
WIPE OUT FUN!!
www.bradhopef
ma.com.au
These school holidays come have some real WIPE OUT fun! Woree and Babinda pools will be host to the awesome Wipe Out water obstacle course. Visit the website for opening times.
WOREE Phone: 07 4054 6964 BABINDA Phone: 07 4067 1211
www.cairns.ymca.org.au
www.parentingcompanion.com.au/events
Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
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EXPOSINtaGblethTeruth Uncomfor
We’ve all heard the stories or maybe even experienced for ourselves the cruel reality of domestic violence. CPC’s Juanita Soper sat down with Sarah Fraser O’Brien, Executive Officer of the Good Sams Foundation to learn more. This is a must read for all women. You have an important message to share with our readers - what is it?
You mentioned this is a huge issue - how common is it?
Juanita, firstly I’d like to ask all your readers to take 5 minutes to read this article and share it with a friend. It could be life changing.
The statistics are shattering and show that in Australia, one in three women over the age of 15 have reported experiencing physical or sexual violence.
Women throughout Cairns need to bring an important and ugly topic out into the open. It’s difficult but we need to face the truth about domestic and family violence.
The impact on children is immense. Every week in Australia, two family members including children are killed by loved ones.
Domestic violence is incredibly widespread and it affects all women whatever their social status or educational back ground. It can happen to any women throughout her life. Yet it is something people rarely talk about because of shame and because it occurs behind closed doors.
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
Violence outstrips obesity, drink driving, breast cancer, and smoking as the leading contributor to death, disability and illness to women in the prime of their life (Statistics source: White Ribbon Foundation). Domestic and family violence is not just physical then?
A relationship where there is verbal or emotional violence can be just as damaging to a person’s self esteem as being hit. Domestic violence is about control. It is using ones power to control the behaviour of a person and it can take many forms including: • PHYSICAL - punching, pushing, being injured with objects/weapons. • VERBAL - constant put-downs, name calling. • SEXUAL - any forced or unwanted sexual contact. • SOCIAL - controlling where you go, who you see, geographically isolating you. • FINANCIAL - being refused or denied access to money.
• DAMAGE TO PROPERTY - kicking a hole in the wall, scratching your car. • PSYCHOLOGICAL - behaviour or comments to undermine your sense of self. • SPIRITUAL/CULTURAL - not allowing you to practise your chosen religion or cultural beliefs. • STALKING - worrying or frightening you by watching, phoning or following you. Stalking is a crime. • ABUSE TO A PET - as a way of controlling your behaviour.
Are there any signs that our readers should be aware of? Chances are someone you know - your neighbour, co-worker, friend, sister or mother is a victim of domestic and family violence. The following are some signs that might alert you that someone you know may be affected by domestic and family violence: • She may have bruises or injuries or she has frequent “accidents” for which she gives vague explanations. These “accidents” sometimes cause her to miss work. • Her partner controls her activities, the family’s finances, the way she dresses or her contact with friends and family. • She frequently cancels plans at the last minute or seems afraid of making her partner angry. • Her partner ridicules her publicly or you sense volatility in his comments. • Her partner seems overly attentive, remains constantly by her side or is watchful about who she talks to. • You notice changes in her or her children’s behaviour. She appears frightened or exhausted.
Listen without judging her. For most people the decision to end a relationship is not easy. Leaving a violent relationship is even harder. A woman’s emotional ties to her partner may be strong, giving her hope that the violence will end. She may be financially dependent and on leaving she will likely face severe economic hardship. She may not know about resources, or social and justice systems may have been unhelpful to her in the past. Tell your friend that you care and are willing to listen. If she is willing to talk, listen carefully and empathically in a safe place. Believe her. Never blame her for what’s happening or under estimate her fear of danger. Let her know that no one deserves to be abused, beaten or threatened. Guide her to a specialist domestic violence support service.
SUPPORT NUMBERS: DV Connect women’s line (24 hrs seven days): 1800 811 811 Cairns Regional Domestic Violence Support Centre: 4033 6100
Who are the Good Sams Foundation? The Good Sams have been working with women and children in Australia for over 150 years. In Queensland we operate a number of safe houses for women and children escaping domestic violence who would otherwise find themselves homeless. We are also passionate about education and prevention programs to help reduce violence and run parenting workshops to help build better family dynamics. We rely on the generosity of the public to run these programs.
What should someone do if they suspect something?
FREE Info Session
Domestic violence is not just a family problem. It is a crime with serious repercussions for your friend, her children and the entire community.
Come to the free 1 Hour Domestic Violence Awareness Session between 3-4pm 16th May at Cairns Library - run by the Good Sams. For more information you can email info@goodsamsfoundation.org.au Ph: 07 3350 4032 or visit www.goodsamsfoundation.org.au
For many women, friends and family are often the first people they talk to about domestic violence. It takes a lot of time, planning, help and courage to escape domestic violence. It is important for women to know that help is available from people who know and care about the situation.
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y t i n u m m o C p h o t o bo a r d Happiness is bet ter shared... Saya Jinno with her dad Taka
WI N N ER
Send us your favourite Family PET pic & WIN thanks to Officeworks! To enter visit our website for all the details and you could be in the running to win a $100 Voucher towards canvas prints with thanks to Officeworks Cairns. www.parentingcompanion.com.au
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
Get your back to school supplies here! For all your printing, canvas, office and back to school needs. 1-15 Water St, Cairns • Ph: 4052 9400 www.officeworks.com.au
WORDS Marnie Hitchins PICTURED Debra Wigmore - IFYS Foster Care Recruiter
Foster Carers:
We need you!
With close to 1000 FAR NORTHERN CHILDREN NEEDING FOSTER CARE, recruiters need to be ever-more inventive as they try to find new carers. Marnie Hitchins talks to Debra Wigmore, foster care recruitment and training specialist with Integrated Family and Youth Services (IFYS).
The day before I visit the office of IFYS, an electrician has come by to test and tag; fix a few things. He walked out with an armful of brochures and the start of a conversation in his head about becoming a foster carer with his wife. Debra Wigmore starts many such conversations. She starts them at markets, in shopping centres, community events, on the street, at fetes, in any place or way she can. It is her job to find people willing and able to care for some of the children (930 at last count in the Far North) who are in foster care. It is a very serious business – the business of young lives. Many children needing foster care have suffered some form of abuse at home. They may bear the scars of trauma, visible ones like a broken arm; behavioural ones like sadness or anger; or invisible ones. Above all else, they need a place – a foster home - where they can settle, be safe and begin to heal. The ultimate goal of foster care, says Debra, is to provide enough space for parents to rebuild the family environment in a healthy way, then reunite brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers. Carers come from all different backgrounds and social situations, and finding a great variety of people to become
blog
carers is important. The more carers Debra can recruit, the more likely she is to find just the right fit for a child. She says there are some traits which are common to all carers– compassion, commitment and an ability to relate well to children. Foster care need not be a full-time, lifelong commitment, she said. There are many levels of care which children need. Among these is respite care, where the children of full-time foster carers stay with other carers one weekend a month. Emergency care involves looking after a child (or children) for a few days or weeks until a more permanent home can be found, “(Strong and committed)people can give children a safe and secure place where they might start to play, flourish, do well at school, and think that the world can be a nicer place,” explains Debra. There are never enough carers. Some days their organisation might receive 10 calls for help but they will only be able to place a few of those children. “A good day is being able to say that we have three families who could be an option. The child will be going to strangers which is traumatic in itself, but I might be able to enable them to go to the same school or
place them near their family so they will be able to have regular contact. That is a good feeling,” said Debra. “If you have ever thought of becoming a carer, please call us. We can explain what we do and what you might one day be able to do. We would love to speak to anyone who has ever considered becoming a carer,” said Debra. IFYS is a not-for-profit organisation funded by the Department of Child Safety and Disabilities. It has been operating in Queensland for 32 years. For more information about foster care contact Debra at IFYS on 4032 9000 or visit the website www.fostercare.com.au If you can answer ‘yes’ to the following questions, you might like to ask about becoming a foster carer. • I have a desire to change a child’s life. • I have room in my house to provide a peaceful and caring environment for a child. • I can work as part of a team. • I have a consistent approach to parenting but am an adaptable person. • I can pass a criminal safety check and can or do hold a Blue Card.
The team from the Bentley Park Early Years Centre shares some of their knowledge and expertise of those very important early years in a child’s life. www.parentingcompanion.com.au Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
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“Gunna”me? Are you a
l i ke
WORDS Kim Kelly - BEC
So the new year is now behind us and all those new year resolutions we made are hopefully well underway, or maybe your reality is more like mine and they have become ‘gunnas’; that is, I was going to start a health kick in the new year, but unfortunately my festivities continued well into the new year so I thought I’ll just have to wait until next year to start. Sound familiar? So how do you avoid becoming part of my ‘gunna’ files? Follow my lead and join me in a revolution to rid the ‘gunna’ files for good!
1.
3.
C ommit Be realistic P r ior i t ise The reason so many files are stored in my ‘gunna’ files is because I can be unrealistic in setting my goals and because I want to do so many things which all seem like good ideas. The reality is, life is busy – families, work, kids birthday parties, school runs and my list goes on and I’m sure yours does to.
We need to keep ‘life’ in mind when agreeing to a new idea, but more importantly we need to be realistic about the start date that we set ourselves, so we don’t find ourselves not being able to start, with the idea fast becoming part of a ‘gunna’ file.
2.
If I look at my bucket list of things to do for both myself and my business, I am not at all surprised that I have created the ‘gunna’ files. It’s a long list, some more important than others and some that are realistically never going to happen. For example, my Mandarin lessons I decided I would do after a holiday I had in China? Seriously really, I don’t think this will be something I will ever cross off my ‘gunna’ list. So take a good look at the list of things you’ve set yourself to achieve and prioritise what’s most important to you and accept that some things will happen later. From my experience, it will be a mix of both business and personal goals as the reality is our work life readily impacts on our personal lives and sometimes need to be prioritised so we can achieve our personal goals.
Once you have your shortlist, it’s time to commit to the idea….and by commit I mean no more ‘gunnas’. I found this extremely hard to do as I have had a long list of ‘gunnas’ for a long time. I think for me, it was about getting real with myself, accepting that I have been a ‘gunna’ and for once really sticking to my commitment. A shorter list has made it much easier too. So this week, my healthkick has started. To be honest, I’m not loving it, but I know I will.
4.Reflect
When I look back over the various lists I’ve made for myself, the reality is when I have actually done what I’m suggesting we all do, the results have been amazing. So when I’m looking back at my somewhat slimmer self in 12 weeks I know I will feel great. So what are you waiting for, get out there and do it!
If you need assistance with setting business goals, contact the Business Enterprise Centre on 4080 2913.
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FREE After Hours Venue for Charity Events! Nominate your charity, community organisation or school to hold a FREE fundraising event after hours at Gecko’s! That’s right! We are opening our doors FREE of charge for Charity events once a month. Visit us in store or check out our website for details. Conditions apply.
Proudly supported by
Smithfield Centre (next to Overflow) • Ph: 4038 1181 • www.geckosplay.com.au Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
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With completion of your First Aid Course you will confidently be able to deal with emergencies at home & at work, including: ✚ Performing CPR ✚ Using a defibrillator ✚ Anaphylactic Shock
✚ Burns & Scalds ✚ Asthma ✚ Poisoning
✚ Drowning ✚ Bandaging
Relay For Life “Relay For Life is such a fantastic opportunity to get together with your community, family and friends to celebrate, remember and fight back against cancer.” Karen Prain, Team Captain
Cairns Relay For Life June 22 & 23, Barlow Park, Cairns Visit www.relayforlife.org.au or call your local relay on 1300 65 65 85 to register your team or for more information about an event near you. 66
Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
Celebrate Remember Fight Back!
Are Our
e f a S Kids Online? Just what sorts of trouble can our children get into online? At KT Computer Solutions we understand the risks and can provide you with an intuitive approach to tackling the vast unknown of the Internet.
The Internet is completely laden with
in” at a said restaurant or movie theatre.
content and activities that are essential to
People leave themselves open to criminal
if anyone mistreats or insults them. It’s only
the development of our kids in the modern
attacks such as this.
common sense. For additional protection,
era. Modern kids have access to resources infinitesimally greater than their forebears,
Unfit website content
Tell them you want to know right away
especially if the kids are home alone, consider installing parental control software
and beyond what most grandparents could
Young kids may encounter pornographic
ever comprehend. We have all heard of the
or adult contact on websites by accident,
apparent dangers that the Internet also
whilst hormonal teens may pursue them
facilitates, and that we must protect our
actively. Along with these inappropriate
The simplest parental control utility should
children against these dangers. But what
sites are gambling sites, sites selling and
prevent access to inappropriate websites.
does that really mean to a parent?
encouraging drugs or weapons and many,
It should also limit the amount of time
many more unsuitable websites where
spent online, set a schedule for what time
our kids shouldn’t go, but ultimately have
of day Internet use is permitted, or both.
unlimited access to without intervention.
And of course it should be hardened against
Direct contact to unknown recipients Social Networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter, instant messaging services and email all offer an opportunity, although you
Cyber Bullies
may think they are benign, to make contact
The Internet facilitates the ability to connect
with practically anybody at all, at any time,
with peers and family simply and easily.
from people that parents may not be able to
Whilst this has incredible positives, it also
evaluate.
has its negatives.
Having said that, people have often fallen
Children can be disrespected and
into the trap of thinking they are talking to
intimidated online, sometimes to the point
a person they know, when in reality at the
of feeling suicidal. Unlike physical bullying,
other end of the communication it is not
parents can’t see cyber-bullying when it
who they think they are talking to!
takes place. What can you do to intervene?
Paedophiles groom contacts, forming trust
As a parent we model proper behaviour for
which can possibly lead to a dreadful real-life
our children and educate them on how they
meeting! It has also been studied that sharing
should behave.
“too much” information over the internet can
This education must extend to their
lead to criminal operators knowing when you
behaviour online also. Let them know when
are going to be out of the house because you
they’re allowed to use the computer and
“are going out to dinner” and have “checked
where they’re allowed to go on the Internet.
such as Trend Micro Online Guardian. Traditional Parental Control
hacking, so a clever teen can’t disable it. Among many other features, these software utilities can limit access to games based on ratings, monitor instant messaging conversations, and can monitor an entire household in the holistic sense by interacting with router software to ensure total protection. One form of parental control uses no software or hardware. You situate the family computer out in the open, keep an eye on the children’s activity, and talk with them about appropriate behaviour. If you feel you need more, there are many choices with a wide range of features that KT Computer Solutions can help you with. If you feel you don’t have the technical savvy, we can do the work for you.
Shop 17, Bentley Village Shopping Centre • McLaughlin Road • Bentley Park Ph: (07) 4045 4666 Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
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Pizza
Pasta
M o n ey WORDS Marnie Hitchins
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The high-flying world of childhood finance is not quite Wall Street (although stressed-out traders and money-hungry seven-year-olds can look and sound similar at times – Buy! Buy! Buy!). Marnie Hitchins looks into pocket money – why, when and how much is enough? It is a powerful and grown-up moment for a kid: using their Own Money to buy that first gadget, toy (or hyper-colour t-shirt, as it happened to be for one of my siblings in the 1990s). Pocket money can be a strong motivator. It can also set in train financial habits and skills children will carry with them throughout their lives. How to make them good ones? Cairns dad of four, John Dash, and principal at KH Accountants, believes pocket money should be earned and school-age is a good time to start. “When children are about 6 or 7 they are starting to understand that money and possessions do not just appear. Someone works for it,” John said. “I don’t believe in children just being given an allowance. It tells them they can sit on their backsides, be given something to spend and it is not a worry when it is gone because more will be given to them next week. ” John also sees pocket money as a way of helping children to set priorities and gain independence.
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Roasts
Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
In the Dash household, eldest boy Ryan, 7, is given a list of age-appropriate chores to do. When he finishes his jobs he gets $5 which he spends or saves this
as he pleases. At the age of 10, however, he will be asked to put some money into a savings plan to teach him the benefit of long term investment. The allowance will increase as he grows and takes on more difficult tasks.“He’s a bit of a spendthrift already, ” said John. John said he and wife Rose-Marie decided on $5 because it was a significant enough amount to allow Ryan to save up within a month or two for many of the things he wanted. Paying too little may make saving up for a goal item seem impossible for children, said John. Alternatively, paying too much can lead children to take the money for granted. Some experts say pocket money should be calculated by the age of the child - $8 for an eight-year-old and so on. This becomes expensive when you have more than one child. And how often do you hand out this amount? It is important to think about what you can afford and talk to other parents when deciding on the amount and frequency of pocket money. Teacher Jocelyn Mogg started a pocket money system for daughter, Ella, when she was 5. She has a chart and Velcro symbols she sticks on as she completes a job. She is given a weekly amount. Ella puts the money into one of two jars, labelled for saving and spending. “I started to give out pocket money because my daughter was always asking for things in the supermarket. I did a fair bit of research before I introduced pocket money because I didn’t want to start something and not follow through with it.”
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an Le Comte
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ley
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Jackley’s Bakehouse is a local success story with bakeries at Raintrees Shopping Centre and Mt Sheridan Plaza. CPC decided to talk to the man behind the scenes and head baker, Evan Le Comte, who brings to the table over 22 years experience. CPC: You were described as the “bald one” by the owner Dale, but do you go by any other title at Jackley’s Bakehouse?
CPC: The worst thing about being a baker (I imagine) is the early hours, but what would you consider as being the best thing?
EVAN: ‘The Sheriff’ because I keep everyone in line!
EVAN: Actually I don’t mind the hours as I get out early and have the daytime to myself, to go to the beach or play golf. I love the physical and creative side of baking.
CPC: As head baker, what are your responsibilities? EVAN: My job is to keep production flowing on time, quality control and testing new recipes.
CPC: What is you favourite Jackley’s Bakehouse product?
CPC: Do you encourage your two girls to bake or cook at home?
EVAN: Ciabatta, Turkish bread, Pies and all the pastries.
EVAN: My daughters, Phoenix (7) and Ulysses (4), love to bake and cook at home. Cup cakes are their favourite, they get to decorate them. Phoenix has also started to cook on the BBQ.
CPC: What do you get out of working in a local family business? EVAN: It’s a tightknit team here. We work hard but we still know how to have a good time. We all share the same goal - to see the business grow and succeed. Also, to bring high quality baked goods to Cairns.
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RAINTREES SHOPPING CENTRE PH. 4053 3992 MOUNT SHERIDAN PH. 4036 0694 jackleysbakehouse@bigpond.com Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
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The
y m m u M
Challenge
After having her first child, Clare-Marie Nielsen decided to leave her job to become a one-income family. CPC will be following Clare as she sets herself a series of challenges to adjust to her new lifestyle.
Challe nge 1’
r a J e g n a h C ‘ e Th Lifes ty le GOALS:
FUEL: Living in a rural area = spending lots of money on fuel. Therefore, plan fewer trips into Cairns, and more activities based around our local area.
FOOD: Make every thing from scratch
and be better prepared. Make snacks for trips out. Even make dog food for our spoilt pooches!
REJECT ALL NON-ESSENTIAL ITEMS! Follow Clare’s blog at : makedoandmendincairns@wordpress.com or visit www.parentingcompanion.com.au
An old friend of mine in London (with a rich husband and a penchant for Marc Jacobs) would always say to me ‘Darling, people never live within their means’. Whilst her means were more generous than most, I have to admit that she had a point. As a doubleincome-no-kids-yet couple we were always broke, but then we never budgeted. Our new status as a single-income-one-kid couple forced me to rethink our way of life. What can we cut down on? What do we buy that we don’t need? What do we waste? One of my biggest problems in the past was my habit of mentally downplaying my spending. By using Eftpos, never writing anything down, and not counting ‘essential’ items in my mental budget calculations, my perception of what I was spending made my outgoings seem modest, when in reality they were mounting up to a small fortune. The ‘Change Jar Challenge’ defied me to spend nothing for one week except for money I found lying around the house and car. I hoped this would not only save me money, but also teach me about my spending habits. We are habitually careless with change, and it turned out that there was plausibly enough money in one and two dollar coins found
Phone 07 4036 8111 Po Box 110e, earlville Queensland 4870 email tas@tas.qld.edu.au | fax 07 4036 8222 tas White rock, Progress road tas Kewarra Beach, Poolwood road
piled next to the washing machine, in the change jar, and in various places scattered around the house for me to manage food, fuel and any other real essentials for the week. I didn’t tell my husband what I was doing for fear of ridicule, so with a bit of a ‘cloak and dagger’ attitude I set about the task. The shock news that it was Nanna’s 86th birthday led to a web search for ‘how to homemake gifts’, a baking spree, and an impromptu party at our place. All in all I had an enjoyable week, was never bored, and managed to make sure that no one in the family went without. During the week of the ‘Change Jar Challenge’ I managed to keep my costs for the week to $204. We ate well, felt relaxed from spending more time at home. Nanna commented that she’d had the best birthday in years, partly due to the family sharing my husband’s home-made chocolate cake. My hair-brained scheme had led to a reduction in spending, a better insight into my personal spending habits and a general feeling of well-being about the house. Whoever said that happiness comes from simple pleasures may have had a point and, to end on an overused cliché, try it, you might like it.
The lasT Time you were in school,
PluTo was a PlaneT.
It’s tIme to dIscover a tas educatIon. a lot has changed since the days of the ‘old school yard’. education continues to move forward at a great rate and since its foundation in 1983, tas has been setting the pace. tas has built a reputation for academic excellence, service to the community and leadership in technology, the arts and sport. this dedication to excellence ensures every tas student is given the tools to reach their potential. visit www.tas.qld.edu.au or email admissions@tas.qld.edu.au for more information on how a tas education will give your child every chance at success.
www.tas.qld.edu.au
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
embracing potential
A holistic approach to education, health and wellbeing during the early years. Equip your child with the skills to become a successful lifelong learner. • QLD Government approved Kindergarten program • Owned & operated by Montessori early childhood teacher/local mum • Whole/raw food focused program • Daily yoga sessions • Extended day operation 7am till 6pm (CCB available) • 15 months to 6 years
9 Brose Street White Rock QLD 4868 Contact us at cairnsmontessori@gmail.com • ph: (07) 4036 1055
www.cairnsmontessori.com.au
Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
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parenting
AUTHORITATIVE WORDS Keran Thomas - Birdwing Therapies
Society, cultural norms and beliefs have changed in Australia, which has impacted significantly on how we now raise and parent our children. For most of us parenting is the most joyous, demanding and toughest job ever! Families are busier than ever and this can lead to lots of extra stress and fatigue if not well managed. New parents have so much to get their heads around, and then try to somehow agree on how the child will be raised. Then parents start considering what discipline style, if any, will be used in parenting the child. Our own childhood experiences are either adopted or discarded; depending on how we view our childhood experiences. Many parents keep the best of their own childhood parenting memories and throw out what they don’t value or believe in for their own children. So, do we adopt the Authoritarian parent style of ‘my way or the highway’ where the word compromise does not exist? Or in absolute contrast do we use a Laissez Faire notion by not intervening and promoting children to work things out for themselves through their experiences? I believe that good parenting takes lots of love, patience, time and effort. Parents, like their growing children will make mistakes and re-think things to discover what works well or doesn’t in their family. Parents find ways to balance a child’s learning, whilst their children
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are trying to make sense of the big wide world. Developing a child’s healthy sense of self and emotional competence can foster ‘having a go’ at things that are new or daunting and these skills are important components in developmental problem solving. Authoritative and democratic parenting allows this to occur. Many parents have already thought about their values and beliefs in raising children well before their first baby arrives. In two parent families, coming to a point of compromise in regards to expectations and boundaries for their children isn’t always smooth sailing. Authoritative parents encourage their children to develop age appropriate independence by listening to them and encouraging their children to express their thoughts and views. Boundary setting and compromise is reached by the parents providing a loving and nurturing home where learning through experience is nurtured. Authoritative parenting supports firm, fair and consistent discipline. Children of authoritative parents soon learn good negotiation skills and are often very savvy at discussing alternate options to problem solving and become comfortable with compromise. Research suggests that these children often have a higher sense of personal competence and emotional
self-confidence and a greater sense of accomplishment during these important developmental years. In my professional experience the emotional and physical wellbeing of a child are absolute priorities in helping children develop into reasonably well adjusted and stable adults! If possible, and it isn’t always, keep any disagreements about parenting decisions you don’t agree on until out of ear shot. Parenting in united ways helps children to feel emotionally safe and secure. As parents you will never always agree. Boundaries, compromise and patience are an everyday necessity in raising happy and competent children. Parents are their children’s first and most significant teachers in life. Talk often and openly about what matters for members of your family; your children will benefit immensely from these times with you and you will enjoy the rewards of parenting. Birdwing Therapies facilitates the ‘Tricky Kids’ - Stressed Out Parent Program throughout the year. If you are after some new ideas to manage some tricky behaviours at your place contact us on 4039 0004 for our registration information. The four-week after hour’s program is held at Birdwing Therapies Rainforest Sanctuary, Redlynch.
Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
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g n i n i a r Ret
Asthma Sufferers WORDS Tina Taylor - Asthma & Respiratory Educator & Orofacial Myologist PICTURED Tina Taylor with Savanah Schwertfeger
According to the National Asthma Council of Australia (NAC), one in six children and one in nine adults in Australia have asthma. Asthma is a condition of the airways that produces distressing symptoms of wheezing, breathlessness, chest tightness and coughing as a result of airway narrowing. In severe cases, asthma can be life-threatening. Asthma symptoms can be triggered by exposure to allergens such as house dustmite and cockroach faeces, moulds, pollens and animal dander (e.g. cat fur). Symptoms can also be caused by non-allergic triggers including exercise, respiratory infections, cold/dry air, cigarette smoke, chemicals and dust particles. Research shows that emotions can trigger airway constriction, which may worsen symptoms associated with asthma. The NAC also points to a strong association between asthma and anxiety disorders. This means asthma patients (including children) are likely to develop anxiety disorders, and vice versa. The NAC also reports that dysfunctional (abnormal) breathing patterns can occur in asthma patients highlighting anxietyrelated breathing difficulties in adults and children with asthma. The NAC promotes the use of medication as the first line of
defence in treating asthma. Tina Taylor of Optimal Breathing and Orofacial Myology is university-trained and certified through the Australian Asthma and Respiratory Educators Association (AAREA) to teach asthma patients how to use their asthma medication devices correctly. Tina also delivers breathing education and retraining programmes for children and adults with asthma. This addresses dysfunctional breathing patterns and helps patients manage their asthma symptoms and associated anxiety. A programme called Breathing Education and Retraining for Asthma will be offered in Cairns during the July school holidays (Tuesday 2 – Friday 5, July). A programme for children aged six – 12 will be offered 10am-midday Tuesday to Friday, and a programme for teenagers and adults will be offered 6pm-8pm Tuesday to Friday. The programme allows children, teens and adults to continue using their asthma medication as prescribed by their doctor while also learning how to manage anxiety, reduce asthma symptoms, and maintain good asthma control through appropriate breathing techniques and lifestyle modification. Participants are encouraged to maintain regular consultations with their
Got a Question?
doctor and, as their symptoms improve, discuss with their doctor the possibility of reducing their medication to the minimum amount necessary to maintain good asthma control. In this programme participants will learn how dysfunctional breathing patterns can worsen asthma symptoms and panic/ anxiety and contribute to the development of obstructive sleep apnoea (OSA), gastro-oesophageal reflux disorder (GORD), as well as adversely affect jaw, teeth and facial development in growing children. Participants will learn and experience the beneficial effects of capnometryassisted breathing re-training, relaxation techniques and the Buteyko method, as well as lifestyle modification tips to help minimise exposure to asthma triggers and improve quality of life. This programme is comprehensive and incorporates the latest research in this field. The programme also includes an individual breathing assessment prior to the programme and a post-programme evaluation. For more details, email tina@optimalbreathing.com.au or call Tina on 0488 040 242. Highlight 2–5 July on your calendar today and book now to avoid disappointment as places are strictly limited.
every Wednesday you can...
Just message or post your question on our Facebook page to find out what the locals say. You never know what you'll find out. ASK A LOCAL every Wednesday at
www.facebook.com/cairnsparentingcompanion Facebook local.indd 1
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
20/11/12 9:05 AM
DON’T BE A
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The Seven Secrets to Raising Happy Kids! Are you a stressed out parent or carer? Don’t miss this fun, interactive workshop designed especially for you because kids aren’t born with instructions! Learn the secrets to happy kids & more enjoyable parenting Using positive language and a positive focus Understanding your child’s communication style Expressing love for children the way they like to receive it Create empowering beliefs for yourself and your child AND learn how to align your values Discover how to be a happier you and MORE!
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Date: Thursday 16 May 2013 Time: 9.30 am - 1.30 pm Location: Cairns City Library, 151 Abbott Street, Cairns
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Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
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$ $ $ $ $$$ $$$$
$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $
$
$
$
$
$
When I’m talking to trustees of SMSFs’ (Self-managed superannuation funds) I am regularly asked if the family home or a home for a son or daughter can be purchased within their super fund? In short the answer is no. The ATO strictly prohibits the purchase of a home that will be used as their family home or for any of their associates. An SMSF can only purchase a house if rented to a third party, somebody at arm’s length and at rental price at market rates. Although the answer is no, it is also yes but with a twist. I will now go through an example of a case study in which an SMSF can buy a house that the trustees and members will eventually retire in. In this example I will show you how Cairns residents Bob and Margaret can get their super fund to pay off their dream home for when they retire.
Can you buy$your $ $ $ $dream $ retirement home with $ your super? $ $ $ $ $
$
$
$
WORDS Alfio Sciacca (Alfio Sciacca Accountants)
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
Bob and Margaret, both aged 40, have about $300,000 in Super between them, so they have decided to set up a SMSF. They have also identified a unit on the Gold Coast costing $400,000, which is where they would like to live in retirement. They want to purchase the unit without going into personal debt so Bob and Margaret approach their bank and they approve their SMSF to borrow up to 70 percent of the purchase price. This requires that the SMSF puts up the cash for the other 30 percent, (cash $120,000,loan $280,000). -As per ATO regulations the SMSF will own the unit and rent it out to non related parties. Bob and Margaret spend the next 20 years investing in their SMSF growing it to a substantial size while also paying off the debt for the Gold Coast unit. It is important to note that
at this stage Bob and Margaret have not lived in the unit. Bob and Margaret decide to retire at 65 and move to the Gold Coast. They convert their SMSF accumulation fund into a pension fund and apply for a lump sum withdrawal but not as cash. They take their lump sum withdrawal in the form of the Gold Coast unit by transferring title to their own names tax free (in simple words Bob and Margaret have transferred the property from the SMSF to their own names). They are now free to move in to this Gold Coast unit with no consequences. For those astute readers out there, you will be asking what is going to happen to Bob and Margaret’s home in Cairns. I would like to point out that Bob and Margaret didn’t need to own their home to buy the unit, they could have rented their family home, it really isn’t relevant. However if Bob and Margaret needed funds to flow back to Super after withdrawing the Gold Coast Unit, they could sell the house and put a non-concessional contribution into the SMSF so long as they met certain work and age criteria. It really depends on the individuals and their situation. It is important to remember that the only purpose of an SMSF is to provide for the benefits of the members in retirement. This is only one scenario and it may not suit everyone. Always seek the advice of an SMSF expert before creating an SMSF or investing using an SMSF. This advice is generic in nature and should not be depended on to make financial decisions.
Far North Early Childhood Network (FNECN)
Early Years Conference: Childhood in the Global Age Friday 17th May, 2013 • 8.30am - 5pm Rydges Esplanade • Cairns
Featuring International Guest Speaker, Maria Aarts with insights into being a child today and supporting their development. Afternoon workshops with a range of local speakers.
embracing potential
$20 per ticket: lunch, morning tea and afternoon tea provided.
Visit www.jcu.edu.au/fnecn for more information
FREE CHILD MINDING GYM + FITNESS
FREE CHILD MINDING NOW AVAILABLE Monday to Friday 9am - 11.00am Ph: 4053 1532 Web: cairnspcyc.org
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$31.80/MONTH
NO LOCK IN CONTRACTS Autumn 2013 Cairns Parenting Companion
77
Dear Dave We have many three to four year old boys come into Gecko’s for a play and some are going through the ‘lets kill them all’ phase. I have read in a book on raising boys it is an increase in their testosterone that is the cause of this behaviour. Have you got any tips for some very concerned mums and dads? Heather - Gecko’s
G’day Heather,
Dave DEAR
wa r ner
Parenting advice dished out, Dave style!
I remember going through the same phase when I was a lad. And by ‘lad’ I mean 20 (with a mental age of four), with my aggression directed at every smarmy, gloating, toothless Collingwood supporter, which is all of them BTW, after Essendon’s loss to the Pies in the 1990 grand final. I got over it pretty quickly but I wanted to knock their teeth out, clearly I’d been beaten to it. Or they’d simply pawned their pegs to buy new Collingwood themed moccasins because car-jacking wasn’t as lucrative as it is now. Alright, time out, I’ve had my fun, that’s enough pushing and shoving of Collingwood supporters! Whether it be a pride of lions, a mob of kangaroos or a murder of magpies there are always those in any group that challenge for the role of alpha male and I reckon four year old boys, juiced up on testosterone, push and shove their own boundaries to see how far they can expand them. I’ve noticed in the last few weeks that our three and a half year old son Lloyd is entering the ‘phase’ and it’s mainly directed towards his six year old sister Summer. Whenever he displays that sort
102.7 www.radiozinc.com.au 78
Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
of behaviour he’s removed from our collective noun, our ‘family’, and sent to his room with the explanation that until he can interact in an acceptable social manner, he’s on his own. It’s not much fun being the alpha male in a group of one. So, at the end of the day Heather, the solution here is to spike their cordial with oestrogen and to never allow Collingwood supporters onto the premises, regardless of age. Happy, happy, joy, joy. Dave
Dear Dave As a single mum, I’d love to get a dad’s opinion on how to explain boys bits to my four year old daughter? Michelle
Hi Michelle, Boys bits … a subject as delicate as the area itself. Especially when they’re on the receiving end of a cricket ball, errant knee, airborne slot car or plastic pirate sword. In fact anything harder than a strawberry blamange can create more pain than a ‘Can-Do Campbell’ cost cutting binge. A lot of parents like to use euphemisms when educating their kids about male genitalia, which I don’t subscribe to as it hardly demystifies the topic. So when talking with your four year old I’d suggest you avoid terms like pickle, plums, noodle, nads, nuggets or jatz crackers. They’ll hear all of that when they’re in high school. Boys’ bits are what they are, penis and testicles, correct biological terms, and I reckon it’s best to be matter of fact and honest. That way, if she ever becomes a Urologist, the diagnosis won’t contain the words Buster McThunderstick. Dave
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
Man
! e s u o h e h t t u o ab None of the following is representative of the views of Cairns Parenting Companion and for reasons of personal safety the author wishes to remain anonymous. Yep! He’s a bloke and he’s confused.
That word ... WHY! Newborns take in information at a great rate of knots. I guess that’s because they’re starting from scratch; learning to smile, reach, grab, crawl, walk, feed themselves and eventually talk. I say eventually because our firstborn was past three before he communicated with anyone. He was definitely walking and feeding himself before then, because twice he had climbed up on a chair to terrorise and eat one of his grandmother’s goldfish. All this before he could even say “pass the salt”. Most kiddies usually starting with single words like “mum”, “da”, “bottle”, “toot toot”, “gimmie” and all too often “no”! From then, words get strung together into sentences like; “No toot toot mum! Gimmie da bottle”. Then they reach an age when for some reason they seem to regress into saying things in as few words as possible. Like when you ask; “Why did you mix milk and sweet GI cordial in your tummy when you know you’re going to up-chuck green cottage cheese all over the kitchen floor?” “Because,” they reply. “Because .. why?” you
ask, to which they inevitably reply; “dunno”. Now there’s a communication cul-de-sac if I ever heard one. “Dunno”. Translated it means; “Look, get off my case. I don’t have an answer right now and quite frankly I’ve moved on and so should you. So go get the mop and bucket, clean up this mess and then go find my toot toot”. It’s too late though. You’ve already introduced them to a new word. The linguistic ‘big gun’; Why? It’s a powerful little word. Probably one hundred times more potent and irritating than “because” or “dunno”. Here’s how it usually plays out from here on. “It’s time for bed oh wonderful child of mine,” you say. “Why?” they ask. “Because you need your sleep, dear one,” “Why”? “Ah, it’s so you grow up big and strong.” “Why?” they persist (by this stage not even taking their eyes off the telly as they ask). “So you can play popular and well paid sports at an elite level and financially support your tired and frustrated parents.” That got their attention. A blank stare. A pause. And then; “Why?” Arrgh. “Because Y’s a flaming
crooked letter and you can’t darn well straighten it so get into bed now!” “Why” is basically a delay tactic meant to drive parents bonkin’ bananas. It’s a fine line though. We need to keep our sanity, but we also need to encourage our kids to pursue healthy enquiry. And when it’s all said and done the word “why” is a key to knowledge. Why do I have a belly button? Why is broccoli green? Why are the kids at school mean to me? Why do you have a big nose? Why does grandma have blue hair? Why does GI and milk make green cheese? I hope when they get older they still search for the answers to questions that should always be asked. Why are things going wrong? Why is there injustice in the world? Why don’t we find a better way? Whether it’s inventing the stump jumping plough or ticking a different box in the voting booth, asking “why” is what really starts the ball rolling. So be happy about being asked “why?” It could be the start of a wonderful adventure. And you could eventually find out why grandma goes the blue hair dye.
Man about the House is proudly sponsored by First Aid Academy. Book a first aid course today and receive a discount when you mention ‘Parenting Companion’ Ph: 07 4039 1715 • www.firstaidacademy.com.au
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Couples n o i s s e Conf
BOX
“Anonymous confessions of a household!” OUR COUPLE’S PROFILE: It was nine years ago that our couple met for the first time, no doubt shouting to be heard over the noise of revellers at local Cairns nightspot, The Mad Cow. With a common interest in sport, movies and music, it wasn’t long before a New Zealand engagement followed soon after by marriage in front of 80 of their closest friends. Now with two boys (aged five and three) and a dog called ‘Bundy’, their family is complete. Let’s find out a few more things about this couple.
What’s your ‘me’ time? He says: Time out with my mates, which might include a drink or two or even a little punt on the horses She says: Having a morning of pampering
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at the hairdressers; getting a good massage or just being at home with no kids, watching a movie.
Not forgetting to put on the aftershave I
What could your partner do better?
chance to go away for the night (which
He says: A question that can easily get me in trouble so what I will say is, she could let me have more control of the remote control.
doesn’t happen that often), but I do love
She says: He could be a better handyman. When he does have a crack at fixing the problem it ends up becoming twice as big! Best he leaves it while I call Dad.
Southside Shopping Centre
WOREE 4033 0929
Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013
TRADING HOURS MON: 8am-5.30pm TUE: 8am-8pm WED: 8am-8pm
THU: FRI: SAT:
the cuddles I get in bed just as much too.
What do you like most about your partner? He says: Her smile. She laughs at my bad jokes and understands the time I have to spend away for work…well, most of the She says: He cooks great spaghetti and he
He says: The odd night out together including a nice dinner, a bottle of fine wine and a couple of rums for me. A night away from the boys at a nice hotel is always a hit.
MANUNDA 4032 5888
She says: I do love it when we get the
time.
How do you keep the ‘romance’ alive?
Cnr Pease & Anderson Streets
received at Christmas.
is a great father to our boys. I love him just the way he is and wouldn’t change a thing. He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.
8am-8pm 8am-5.30pm 8am-4pm
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Cairns Parenting Companion Autumn 2013