Testing times

Testing Times One hot morning, a.er a par0cularly disturbed nights sleep, Owl awoke with what he thought was a VERY good idea. He gathered all of the animals of the woodland and addressed them from on high “Ahem, I have decided that it would be a good idea if we tested everyone so as to see who is best at what so that we can all dooo what we are best at doing” The animals all looked at each other, never had such a thing been suggested. But it is the nature of groups to follow the voice of authority and when Owl spoke with his chest puffed out and in the convincing manner of one who knew what he was about, they all listened… and obeyed.

“Line up” said Owl “That’s the way, in front of me, in a line, quickly now.”

So they did. Badger and Fox, Deer and Squirrel, Weasel and Stoat, all of the animals of the woodland.

“Now the first test will be climbing the tall oak tree to gather acorns. One, Two, Three, Go!” Cried Owl Off the animals went. Squirrel scampered fastest of all to the top of the tree and out onto the branches where the sweetest acorns were then back again while some animals were s0ll sizing up the best approach to the problem. Deer stretched up on hind legs and managed to get a few of the low down acorns. Badger rooted around for last years crop amongst the leaves. Weasel and Stoat fought over who was the best at collec0ng and Sly Old Fox stole acorns from everyone else un0l he was caught and disqualified.

Owl hooted to signify the end of the test and got the animals to line up again. Plucking a long feather from his wing, he proceeded to write down the scores. “What are you doing?” asked the animals “Well you see, this is the See Hooo Is Top test and I declare that Squirrel is the best at collec0ng acorns and that this will be his job from now on” “Well, er, actually, some0mes I like hazel nuts too and I have always fancied having a go at fishing” said Squirrel.

“Nonsense” said Owl “The results are clear, you will be an acorn collector and that is that. Next is the race to see who is fastest. On the count of three you will all run to the end of the woods and back. One, Two, Three, Go!” Owl cried and off they ran.

Deer took the lead, sleek and fleet of foot she raced through the woods. Squirrel, determined to be seen as more than a harvester of acorns jumped through the trees in hot pursuit, bounding from branch to branch overhead. Badger ambled along gamely while Weasel and Stoat fought over who was the fastest runner. Sly Old Fox ran into the woods un0l he could not be seen then lay down to sleep for a while, planning to jump out in front when the animals were almost home.

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Seemingly in no 0me at all, Deer came bounding back into the clearing where owl was wai0ng followed in short order by squirrel who came running down a tree trunk out of breath. Weasel and Stoat were separated and they all sebled down to wait for badger who came in slowly but surely three hours later. Fox, who had fallen asleep and missed the end of the race, came in last of all which only goes to show that cheats do not prosper.

Plucking out a second feather from his wing, Owl wrote down the results of the race on the See Hooo Is Top test and decreed that Deer was the fastest and as such should do all of the running whenever it was required.

“And finally we will see hooo is the best at digging holes. One, Two, Three, Go!” Cried Owl for the last 0me and off they went, digging furiously.

Squirrel’s hands and claws were made to hold branches, not for digging in the earth, and soon his they were too sore to con0nue. Weasel and Stoat fought over who was the best at digging. Deer scratched feebly at the soil, becoming increasingly upset at her inability to dig any sort of hole.

Badger dug with gusto. With huge claws and his strong paws he dug and dug, thrus0ng great mounds of each aside un0l he had made not only a hole but a badger house, into which he moved with his wife, his children, his brother, his sister in law and their children. Sly Old Fox, s0ll 0red from all the running he did not do, curled up in a ball and went to sleep.

“And the best digger of all is Badger” said Owl once again wri0ng everything down in the See Hooo Is Top test then pinning the list to a tree for all to see.

Then a small voice at the end of the line spoke up “Ahem, er, excuse me but what am I good at?”

“Hooo said that?” said Owl “It’s me, Hedgehog” said Hedgehog. “What am I good at? What can I do?”

“Well” said Owl, puffing out his chest and turning his head this way and that “Well, not everyone can be good at something. Some folk are just, well, ordinary. Yes that’s it, you are ordinary and you can do ordinary things. Now it is late and we should all be off to bed. You all have a busy day tomorrow now you know what you are best at” And as it is the nature of groups to follow the voice of authority, they all listened… and obeyed.

So with some re0cence, the next day, the animals set about their tasks. Deer ran here and there seemingly for no reason at all. Squirrel collected yet more acorns. Badger dug yet another hole, which pleased him immensely as he was quite seb in his ways. Following further tests it was decided that Sly Old Fox had an affinity with numbers and was able to count chickens in a coop at a glance. He could then half the number and half it again, all before lying down with a very full tummy.

Weasel and Stoat fought over who was the best at figh0ng.

In the a.ernoon, when the sun was high and everyone was 0ring from the endless drudgery of their meaningless tasks, Deer suddenly raised up her head. Her nose twitched, her ears moved first this way then that “I smell fire! FIRE! F I R E” she called while running around in circles in a state of Be More Outdoors is a registered charity 1155946 bemoreoutdoors.org

panic. Sure enough the woodland was on fire. Flames were making their way quickly to the clearing where the animals were, they were surrounded and there was no escape.

Suddenly, from under a bush, a spiky ball of Hedgehog came rolling out. Round and round he rolled, his spikes picking up leaves in a great circle all around the animals un0l the ground was bare and free from anything that might burn. The fire came closer and when it reached the bare earth there was nothing to keep it going. It died down then went out. The animals were saved.

“Well done, three cheers for Hedgehog” the animals shouted “Well now, I can see we will have to have a test for rolling on leaves, which you will surely be best at” said Owl “Actually, I don't think I want to take a test for rolling on leaves” said Hedgehog “I don’t really need a test to tell me if I am good or bad at something. A.er all we may not be good at everything but EVERYONE is good at something” All of the animals turned to each other, nodding their heads in agreement “Hedgehog is right” they said and one by one they did what THEY wanted to do, not what the tests said they should.

Squirrel went fishing, Deer walked SLOWLY through the woods browsing on good things to eat, Badger dug more holes, because that was what HE liked to do. Sly Fox counted chickens before they hatched and Weasel and Stoat fought over what they liked to do (though I would suggest that figh0ng is perhaps what they like to do most of all).

Owl, convinced that further tes0ng would be the route to efficiency in the woodland, took to staying awake late into the night forcing him to sleep in the day.

As for Hedgehog, he did what he wanted, when he wanted and was the best at being himself.

This story was wri,en for our 3rd May 2016 Family Forest Schools session. We do not normally run a Forest Schools session on Tuesday’s but felt it was important to offer something worthwhile, nurturing and enjoyable in the outdoors to those families with children who are taking part in the “Let our Kids Be Kids” protest Please feel free to use this story, adapt it, make it age appropriate in any way you like but if you publish it anywhere, please credit the Be More Outdoors charity. with thanks Alan Scully Lead Prac55oner Be More Outdoors

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