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Embrace Your Emotions for Balanced Success
“Oh, you’re so sensitive!” “Stop wearing your heart on your sleeve!” “Don’t be a sissy!” How many of us have been told something like this before, especially when it’s said with a negative connotation? Most of us can remember being sensitive as children. But we quickly learned that letting our feelings show was judged as a weakness, while being tough was rewarded with praise and high-fives. Rather than risk being rejected or making others uncomfortable, we conform to the expectations of those in authority, showing only our acceptable “good” emotions and burying those we consider unacceptable or “bad.” At some point 20
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we’ve all heard “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” right? 1SPCMFN JT PWFS UIF ZFBST XF MPTF UPVDI XJUI PVS BVUIFOUJDJUZ unable to identify or express how we really feel in ways that bring us the meaningful connections we crave. We find ourselves feeling one way yet acting another, saying what others want to hear instead of what’s on our heart. /PX BT BEVMUT NBOZ PG VT BSF XPSLJOH UPP NVDI BOE QVTIJOH too hard in ways that sometimes feel like they hurt even our soul. In the interest of efficiency, we feel pressured to leave our personal identity at the workplace door and stick to business. At the end of the day, instead of being supported, energized and inspired, we are left isolated, numb and misunderstood. Yes, it is important to exhibit strong qualities of intense focus, competitive drive, and task-driven purpose. But it’s also important to completely honor our tenderness, weaving our unique gifts
and intuition into our work. This approach creates the balance necessary to sustain an exceptional level of fulfillment and productivity without burning out or breaking down. The old paradigm of “emotions have no business in the workplaceâ€? creates a culture of workers cut off from their own ability to empathize with those they serve. How true are the XPSET PG 5IFPEPSF 3PPTFWFMU ĂĄ1FPQMF EPOäU DBSF IPX NVDI you know until they know how much you care.â€? Luckily, today there’s an exciting shift happening, as more businesses than ever are recognizing the value of emotional intelligence in the workplace, sending staff through leadership development training to learn the art of assertive communication, empathy, team-building, resilience and DPMMBCPSBUJPO 1SPBDUJWFMZ CVJMEJOH MFBEFST BU FWFSZ MFWFM PG BO organization will surely cause both customer satisfaction and employee retention to skyrocket. (I can imagine the late Stephen Covey, author of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective 1FPQMF â TBZJOH ĂĄ/PX UIBUäT B XJO XJO â
I realize there are certain things you don’t have power to change, but I challenge you to look for progressive ways to combine competence and compassion. What could you accomplish if you woke up in the morning excited to work in a way that feeds your soul while serving others, and offers more freedom to just be yourself? Yes, with feelings and all! Instead of trading your authenticity for approval, use these tips to embrace wholehearted success.
1. Start your Day with Intention: Establish a meaningful morning practice where you connect with spirit, focus your mind and nurture your body. This inner-to-outer approach fosters a calm, positive attitude no matter what life throws at you throughout the day, helping you lean into the person you most want to be. Decide how you want to feel— authentic, courageous, mindful, compassionate—and let that clarity provide strength and focus when you’re in the midst of circumstances you cannot control.
2. Trust Your Intuition: (VU JOTUJODU JT POF PG PVS NPTU WBMVBCMF BTTFUT 0VS GFFMJOHT XIFO XFMM NBOBHFE BOE FYQSFTTFE constructively, are invaluable to our success. Acute sensitivity is designed to guide us, and the most successful people say they often make their best decisions based on this powerful inner feeling of “knowing.� The following quotation speaks to the urgency of listening to our inner wisdom: “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma—which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your own heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.� —Steve Jobs
3. Find Freedom to Let Go: Did you know the word emotion means “energy in motion�? Emotions are meant to rise up and be expressed constructively or released altogether if they do not serve us. Instead, we often suppress emotions by excessively watching television, drinking, using prescription and
non-prescription drugs, exercising, and engaging in a host of other activities that help take our attention off our emotional QBJO MPOH FOPVHI UP QVTI JU CBDL EPXO 0OF USBOTGPSNBUJWF UPPM I use to clear negativity and relieve stress is called the “Emotional Freedom Technique,� also called Meridian Tapping, which is a powerful blend of Chinese acupressure and modern psychology. Another is Reiki, a Japanese form of stress management with many healing benefits. Forgiving yourself and others, journaling, drawing, painting, dancing, singing and screaming out loud also provide supportive outlets for releasing negative emotions. Experiment and find what works best for you.
4. Be Proactive: Knowing your core values and priorities XJMM IFMQ HVJEF ZPV JO DPOOFDUJOH PQFOMZ XJUI PUIFST 1FSIBQT JUäT time to hire a mentor, join a mastermind group, or subscribe to an uplifting magazine that can help you stay true to yourself and set healthy boundaries as you navigate relationships in work and life. 5. Hold Positive Expectation: Confidently expect others to honor the differences you bring into organizations and interactions. Don’t try to “be like everyone elseâ€? to fit in. Allow your warm spirit to shine through by doing what you need to do the way you need to do it—without apologies.
6. Honor your Sensitivity: Surround yourself with empowered, collaborative and like-minded individuals. There are many heart-centered service and networking groups in every community. According to motivational speaker Jim Rohn, “We become the average of the five people we spend the most time with.� So whatever you do, avoid hanging out with toxic people or allowing naysayers to bring down your average!
7. Celebrate Yourself: All of us love recognition, so appreciate your own efforts with praise or an honest compliment. Don’t wait for others to validate and affirm you. An ongoing commitment to personal growth will help you naturally apply UIF 2 5*1 BQQSPBDI å2VJU 5BLJOH 5IJOHT 1FSTPOBMMZ â -PWF and accept yourself when you make a mistake, allowing room to correct course when necessary. Aim for progress, not perfection. Remember, at the core of our sensitivity lies our greatest strength. Let’s not settle for anything short of heart-centered success, allowing feelings to merge with focus so we can really thrive with less stress and greater happiness in all areas of life! Q
“At the core of our sensitivity lies our greatest strength.â€? $ISJTUJOB ,VOLMF 3/ BOE $5" $FSUJGJFE -JGF BOE 8FMMOFTT $PBDI JT GPVOEFS PG 4ZOFSHZ -JGF BOE 8FMMOFTT $PBDIJOH --$ DSFBUPS PG UIF Ăœ4ZOFSHZ 4VDDFTT $JSDMFĂ? BOE Ăœ40"3 Ă? B )FBSU $FOUFSFE -FBEFSTIJQ %FWFMPQNFOU 1SPHSBN 4IF IFMQT CVTZ XPNFO QSFWFOU CVSOPVU CZ QSPNPUJOH CPVODF CBDL SFTJMJFODF UP TUBZ GPDVTFE QPTJUJWF BOE FYDJUFE BCPVU UIF DIBMMFOHFT PG XPSL BOE MJGF 5P MFBSO NPSF WJTJU IFS XFCTJUF XXX TZOFSHZMJGFBOEXFMMOFTTDPBDIJOH DPN PS DBMM
Winter 2013
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