living with synergy
What to Do in the Meantime “
I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.
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CULTIVATE SERENITY IN THE MIDST OF UNCERTAINTY
here are times when the clock seems to stop abruptly, reminding us that we’re on God’s divine schedule. Many life scenarios throw us into an uncertain “meantime� where things are happening that we can’t control, explain or understand—the meantime between losing a job and finding another, between having a breast biopsy and receiving the results, the positive pregnancy test and a fullterm delivery, a high-risk surgery and the improved quality of life a loved one is seeking.
— Martha Washington
.]-5 5( ./, &5. ( ( 35.)5 0)# 5 discomfort and insecurity. So when our supporting walls in life threaten to fall in on us—or fall apart altogether—we can retreat by default into helplessness, or react out of panic. We distract. We .85 5-')% 85 5 ,#(%5 5!& --5B),5 .", C5) 51#( 5 ), 5 #(( ,85 51 . "5 ")/,-5) 5-./Ŀ5)(5 5." .5' (-5()."ing to us. But when we escape into numbing behaviors, we miss out on how the experience can grow us. Luckily, there’s a third alternative, which is to respond by design with a serene disposition. The meantime can be a rich opportunity to grow personally and professionally if we replace fear with faith, and worry with action. These resilient perspectives will help transform the period of in-between into a positive experience, using uncertainty to your advantage:
CHOOSE: Serenity means “a disposition free from stress or negative emotion.� While you may not have a choice about the circumstance you’re in, no matter what happens you can always control two things—your breathing and your perspective. When you feel out of control and confused, the
By Christina Kunkle, RN, CTA CertiďŹ ed Life and Wellness Coach
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fight-or-flight reaction is easily triggered, causing a cascade of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline ." .5- ( 53)/5#(.)5 5 , ."& --5* (# 85 )5 3* --5."#-65 pause to focus on breathing deeply and slowly for a few minutes while mentally repeating a word such -5^* _5)(5 "5#(" & 65 ( 5 5*", - 5-/ "5 -5^ 5 '5 calm� on each exhale. This promotes relaxation in your '#( 5 ( 5 ) 385 5*)--# & 65-. *5)/.-# 5#(5." 5 , -"5 #,85
APPRECIATE: Genuinely look for the good in your life, exactly as it is here and now. An attitude of gratitude fosters optimism and keeps your heart open. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn’t here yet, so have positive expectation that a favorable outcome will unfold. Yes, you’ll need to adapt as circumstances arise, but the best investment of your time and energy is to be grateful for what you do have going for you instead of being anxious because of what you don’t have. Cultivate a reassuring stance for yourself and others 350)# #(!65^ 5 (].51 #.5.)5- 51" .5!)) 5 )' -5 ,)'5 this!â€? Allow the joy that creates to feed your faith. QUESTION: Ask “howâ€? instead of “why.â€? Let go of the struggle to understand why things happen as they do. Saying “poor me, why is this happening to me, 1"35 )5 5 - ,0 5."#->_51#&&5)(&35% *53)/5 &#(!5&#% 5 50# .#'651"# "5#-5-/, 5.) % *53)/5-./ %85 (-. 65- 35 1#."5 (5 #,5) 5 /,#)-#.365^ )15 (5 5Ĺ€( 5." 5*)-#.#0 5#(5 this and get back into taking inspired action?â€? You see, ^ .#)(5#-5." 5 (.# ). 5.)5 -* #,_5B ) (5 4C8 Äť 5 ")# 5#-53)/,-65 /.5 ]0 5 )/( 5." .5." 51 35 forward with the least amount of suffering is to accept the reality of what is, and to keep asking to be shown ")15 5 (5 ( Ĺ€.5 ,)'5 "5( 15-#./ .#)(85 /,5 , #(-5 are programmed to answer questions. You’ll receive answers if you stay attentive. Answers may come to you through a flash of insight, your intuition or a hunch, something that is said to you, or through a person you meet. When you catch yourself asking “why,â€? flip it to “howâ€? and do your best to move forward with the answers you receive. TRUST: Believe that things happen for you, not to you. When you realize everything that happens is for your highest good and holds a gift, it serves to deepen your faith and keep you focused. Even if you can’t see them right away, stay open to the lessons your life experiences are teaching you. This resilient point of view reminds you that you’re seeing just a snapshot, but in time you’ll see the bigger picture. At unexpected moments, things often happen to reveal why you needed to experience the hard times. The following poem reminds us there’s a higher purpose in the things we encounter. And although a
certain outcome may not be what we asked for, our best interests are always being considered. I asked for strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong. I asked for wisdom and God gave me problems to solve. I asked for prosperity and God gave me a brain and willingness to work hard. I asked for courage and God gave me dangers to overcome. I asked for love and God gave me troubled people to help. I asked for favors and God gave me opportunities. I received nothing I wanted. I received everything I needed. My prayer has been answered. ~Author unknown
NURTURE: % 5 , 5) 53)/,- & 5*"3-# &&365 spiritually, mentally and emotionally so the best version of you can rise to the occasion with more grace and !,#.85 ( /&! 5#(5, -.), .#0 5 #-., .#)(-5&#% 5 2 , #-#(!65 spending quality time with friends and family, reading inspirational books, listening to soulful music, enjoying nourishing food, watching amusing movies, napping, taking nature walks, or otherwise enjoying your favorite meaningful hobbies. TEACH: Give friends, family and colleagues a priceless gift by being a brilliant example of what it takes to persevere through uncertainty with dogged . ,'#( .#)(5 ( 51 &&7 & ( 5*)#- 85 .]-5().5 1" ." ,51 51#&&5 5" , 5 " && (! -5#(5&# 85 .]-5 5' .ter of which ones we will be called to face, and when. ,# &-51#&&5 &1 3-5 )' 65. -.#(!5)/,5-*#,#.85Äť 5+/ -.#)(5 is whether we will give up when meeting the unknown, or resolve to grow stronger. Of course there will be days where you know you could have done better. When this happens, remember this inspiring comment of author Mary Anne Radmacher: “Courage does not always roar, Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying \ 51#&&5.,35 ! #(5.)'),,)18]_ â– â– Christina Kunkle, RN and CTA CertiďŹ ed Life and Wellness Coach, is founder of Synergy Life and Wellness Coaching LLC and creator of the “Synergy Success Circleâ€? and “SOAR,â€? a heart-centered leadership development program. She helps busy professionals prevent burnout by promoting bounce-back resilience to stay focused, positive and excited about the challenges off work and life. To learn more, visit her website at www.synergylifeandwellnesscoaching.com or call 540-746-5206.
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