living with synergy
TURN OVER A NEW BELIEF
Grow Better Beliefs and Watch Your
Life Blossom!
Have you ever felt blocked or sabotaged when striving for a goal? Do you experience the same struggles over and over? If so, you may have certain limiting childhood beliefs holding you back.
E
veryone falls into the “negativity trap” at one time or another— that place where we’re overly self-critical or judgmental of others. Whatever the cause, whether physical exhaustion, overwhelming emotions, work pressures or family stressors, when we become aware of strong negative thoughts it’s essential to call a timeout to flip them to positive before they grow into damaging beliefs. Napoleon Hill, a Virginia native and business consultant, once said, “Our mind is a fertile garden spot in which weeds will grow in abundance if the seeds of more desirable crops are not sown there. Don’t let negativity find its way into the rich garden of the mind.” Author Bill Meyer reinforces this sentiment when he writes, “Be intentional! Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don’t count on harvesting Golden Delicious.” Beliefs are thoughts we have over and over until we believe them to be true. Empowering beliefs such as “I am happy, healthy and strong” bring out our best and help grow a positive mindset. Limiting beliefs such as “I’m fat, stupid and not good enough” undermine our confidence, creating shame and self-doubt. We have the power to choose by design what we believe. We’re free to change our minds and, as we change our minds, we inch steadily toward achieving our goals. So how can you grow better beliefs by design? Begin by using the follow-
36
healthQuest | Fall 2014
ing tips to intentionally plant better beliefs—those that grow your ability to rebound quickly with grace and ease.
Take a Timeout You can’t give to others if you’re running on empty! So step out of the fast lane, grab a pen and paper, and clear your mind. Take a long, deep breath and ask for guidance. Slow down and look within for inspiration and wisdom. Be honest and take responsibility for where you are by giving your feelings a voice. Seeing your thoughts on paper provides fresh perspective and renewed clarity. Without regularly connecting to what’s most important, you’ll find yourself tired, depleted and serving everyone’s needs except your own. Now think about your beliefs. Try to identify any that are working against you. Which are keeping you from reaching your full potential? Your goal will be to start eliminating these, one by one, from your belief system.
Accept and Love Yourself Exactly as You Are Don’t beat yourself up. Instead, celebrate the awareness that you can do better. Focus on progress, not perfection. As poet Leonard Cohen says, “Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack, a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in. I am asking you to love your pockmarks, your scars, your size, your inability to be articulate, your awkwardness and all your imperfec-
By Christina Kunkle, RN, CTA Certified Life and Wellness Coach
tions. Do not run from these very welts that are a part of you. Stop, turn and embrace your humanness, ALL OF IT. Nurture yourself. Get used to loving who you are right now, with no excuses, no conditions.”
Stay Positive It’s tempting to jump head-first into a busy day, yet that’s the fast track to negativity. It’s more empowering to start heart-first, setting a clear intention about who you want to be and how you want to feel, no matter what’s going on around you. This determines whether you respond or react to circumstances as they unfold. Every thought, feeling and action will either take you closer to or farther away from who you want to be. Belief is the key to your success. You’ll need grit and courage to master your mindset, so get tough! “Keep your thoughts positive, because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive, because your words become your behaviors. Keep your behaviors positive, because your behaviors become your habits. Keep your habits positive, because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive, because your values become your destiny.” — Gandhi
Counter Negativity Formulate a positive affirmation that counters your negative belief and reaffirm it daily. Write your affirmation in
Keep Taking Action
Choose to be Happy! your diary, on your bathroom mirror, next to your computer—anyplace where you will see it often and can say it out loud as often as possible. You will be happily surprised by the results! Affirmations are most powerful when we: đ Say them in the present tense đ Write them down đ Feel them strongly Say your affirmations every day, first thing in the morning and last thing at night. This daily practice gives attention to what you want more of, promotes healthy self-talk and bolsters self-esteem. Here are a few examples: đ I choose foods to keep my mind focused and energy steady. đ I commit to being happy, fit and strong. đ I am relaxed, productive and centered. đ I find a way to let better beliefs grow strong.
To stay happy, focus on your blessings. Cherish each morning and give thanks for each evening. Close your eyes and call to mind something to be grateful for, paying particular attention to your feelings. What are you grateful for? What are 10 things you can choose to be grateful for right now? I’m reminded of a story in Marci Shimoff ’s book, “Happy for No Reason,” in which a Cherokee elder told his grandson about the battle that goes on inside people. “My son, the battle is between the two ‘wolves’ that live inside us all,” he said. “One is Unhappiness. It is fear, worry, anger, jealousy, sorrow, self-pity, resentment and inferiority. The other is Happiness. It is joy, love, hope, serenity, kindness, generosity, truth and compassion.” The grandson thought about it for a minute, then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?” The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.” Which wolf are you feeding?
Yes, even on days when you don’t feel like it, even when you feel you’re not making progress, know that by taking action, you are moving forward. Have faith in yourself and stay empowered. Big changes come with small choices. So, if you haven’t taken a look at the beliefs you are holding, DO IT! Take small, frequent steps forward in keeping your mind clutter-free. Cultivating new beliefs will bless your life from this time onward. Take action today toward helping your better beliefs grow stronger, and watch your life blossom! ■ ■ Christina Kunkle, RN, is a CTA Certified Life and Wellness Coach, founder of Synergy Life and Wellness Coaching, and creator of the “Synergy Success Circle.” en prevent burnout by She helps busy women promoting bounceback resilience to stay focused, positive e and excited about the challenges of work and life. For more information, visit her website, www. synergylifeandwellnesscoaching.com, or call 540-746-5206.
RMHonline.com
37