IN CALGARY 2013
Camp fYrefly empowers LGBT youth to stand up for social change BY PAULA TROTTER
W TAKING FLIGHT
Photo submitted by Kris Wells
Monica McCree was one of the more than 40 youth to attend the first Calgaryarea Camp fYrefly, a fourday leadership retreat for LGBT youth. McCree, who is bisexual, says the experience strengthened her resolve to advocate for sexual minority and gendered rights.
hen Monica McCree came out as bisexual in January 2012 and started dating another woman, she didn’t know how her friends and family would react. “I didn’t know what to expect, but my friends were so cool,” says the 17-year-old who graduated from Sir Winston Churchill this year. While friends and family have embraced her sexuality, McCree knows others are not as fortunate. “There are a lot of people who aren’t in the situation where they can safely be out or they’re being bullied,” she says. “Even if people don’t face direct discrimination, there’s still the overall oppression that you get from society. Our society is very heteronormative.” Sexual and gendered minorities continue to face discrimination. A few examples of this include: sex education in schools is only directed toward straight students; police-reported hate crimes motivated by sexual orientation increased by 10 per cent between 2010 and 2011, while incidents motivated by race, ethnicity and religion decreased during the same period, according to Statistics Canada; lesbian, gay and bisexual youth are at higher risk of attempting suicide than heterosexual youth; and the Alberta government approved Bill 44 in 2009, which allows parents to pull their children out of class when lessons of sexual orientation and other contentious topics are being discussed. “We can have all the legal equality we want, but that doesn’t rapidly equate to social equality,” says Kris Wells, a researcher with the Institute for Sexual Minority Studies in Edmonton and co-founder of Camp fYrefly, an Alberta-based leadership retreat for LGBT youth. “They don’t need to change,” he says of young sexual minorities. “It’s society that needs to change — and the best way to change that is to empower these people.” That’s the goal of Camp fYrefly, which got its start in Edmonton nine years ago and just offered its first retreat to Calgary-area LGBT youth in Cochrane this July. The four-day camp includes a plethora of workshops that educate teens and young adults on issues such as healthy relationships, knowing their rights, self-defence, what community resources are available, basic life skills such as financial literacy.
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AT FYREFLY, PEOPLE CAN FULLY BE THEMSELVES WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT BEING DISCRIMINATED, I FELT A LOT MORE CONFIDENT IN MYSELF AND KNOW THAT I ALWAYS HAVE THE SAFETY NET OF THE LGBT COMMUNITY TO FALL BACK ON.
The camp also provides participants with a safe and unconditional sense of belonging, says Wells. All of this helps inspire campers to stand up for social change the remaining 361 days of the year. McCree was one of the more than 40 youth who participated in the first Calgary-area Camp fYrefly. “At fYrefly, people can fully be themselves without worrying about being discriminated,” she says. “I felt a lot more confident in myself and know that I always have the safety net of the LGBT community to fall back on.” McCree’s experience at camp further fueled her desire to advocate for sexual and gendered minority rights. The teen established a Gay-Straight Alliance at her high school the year she came out, helping to foster student discussion about sexuality and organizing awareness events such as a Pride Day. She would like to be a youth leader at Camp fYrefly next year, and has signed up to volunteer with fYrefly in Schools. An evolution of camp, Wells says fYrefly in Schools goes directly to where the students are to raise awareness about the consequences of bullying motivated by sexuality and gender. He believes standing up to injustice within the school environment will result in rapid social change. “I think resistance is still largely based in stereotypes,” says Wells. “Misinformation, stereotypes, prejudice — all of these can be rectified through education.” McCree and Wells will be walking with other Camp fYrefly members as parade marshals at this year’s Pride Calgary. Calgary’s first Premier’s Pride Brunch in support of Camp fYrefly will be held Aug. 31 in conjunction with Pride Week. Tickets are $50 and can be purchased at www.premierspridebrunch. eventbrite.ca.
IN CALGARY 2013
All in the family
BY MEGHAN JESSIMAN — Calgary Herald Archive
Our Pride is growing Pride 2013 Parade & Street Festival , MEGHAN JESSIMAN BY
E
veryone loves a parade — even more so, it seems, when it’s rainbow-themed. It’s understandable, really. I mean, what’s not to love about a weeklong festival dedicated to equality, acceptance and, well, pride within Calgary’s homosexual community? If that’s not a reason to go all out with a celebration, I don’t know what is. Though YYC’s festivities still pale in comparison to Pride festivals that take place in cities such as Vancouver, San Francisco and Sydney, Calgary’s festival growth rate is on a remarkably speedy trajectory. Since the first Pride Festival in 1990, which only involved a few hundred people, Calgary’s celebration has grown into a multi-day extravaganza, with more than 30,000 attendees in 2012. “We have seen a huge growth in attendance over the last five years,” says Pride Calgary president Stephen Wright. “Attendance for the parade and festival seems to be expanding by about 5,000 people each year, so within the next five years we hope to see 50,000 people here in Calgary.” This year’s festival kicks off Friday, Aug. 23 with Q the Arts, a performing arts presentation and dance party in partnership with Fairy Tales Presentation Society. The party continues with a variety of events the following long weekend. From club events to socials and brunches, this festival has a lot to offer in terms of diversity. Of course, the main draw is always the parade and street festival itself. Starting at noon, Sunday, Sept. 1, the parade, floats and all, begins at 8th Avenue and 1st Street S.W. and ends at the festival grounds at Shaw Millennium Park. With participants from all walks of life in YYC, the parade is a testament to our city’s shifting attitudes. “Calgary really comes together for this festival, sometimes in unexpected ways,” Wright says. “We have entries from the Calgary Police Service, RCMP, Hazelle the Ga(y)zelle from Gay Friends in Calgary, churches and all sorts of community associations. It’s a true mix.” It is important to note that the parade and street fest that follows are a family-friendly event, and always have been. Featuring live performances, great music from out-of-town and local DJs, food trucks, and a family zone, the festival is the ideal place — the beer gardens excepted, of course — to bring the kids for an all-access lesson in acceptance and celebration of diversity. “Everyone is welcome at Pride Calgary,” says Wright. “People of all ages, genders, sexual orientations and nationalities.” THIRTY-SIX
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hat’s a good party without a theme? This year, Pride Calgary will be focusing on bolstering the familyfriendly aspects of its festivities and drawing attention to an important aspect of LGBTQ life in Calgary: same-sex families. Today’s family unit is no longer just comprised of a mom, dad and their children. Canadian families come in a multitude of formats, and, as long as they contain love, that’s something to celebrate. Calgary Pride has not always operated with a theme. In fact, last year was the first time it took on a social message. For 2013, the board of directors has decided it is important to raise awareness of the challenges faced by same-sex families.The hope is that the regular Pride festivities, as well as the familyfocused events taking place this year, will allow same-sex parents and children the opportunity to connect with others like them. Pride Calgary 2013 features an expanded Family Fun Zone run by a local LGBT youth organization and a family-friendly barbecue (Bi-B-Q) held on Saturday, Aug. 31 from 5 to 8 p.m. at James Short Park. Pride Calgary president Stephen Wright says that when it comes to daytime events in Calgary, the focus is on fun of the good, clean variety. “The Pride parade and the street festival that follows are have and always been completely family-friendly events,” Wright explains. “They’re open to all ages and as such, public indecency will be prohibited.”
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IN CALGARY 2013
True love
Calgary couple lets go of fears and judgement to embrace who they are and take a walk down the aisle BY PAULA TROTTER
M
— Paula Trotter photo
The day after Maureen Phillips, left, and Nadene Rogers married in B.C., the federal government announced it was going to legalize same-sex marriage across Canada. THIRTY-EIGHT
arriage is the ultimate commitment, not just to another person but to being honest and transparent with yourself about who you are, says Calgary-area reverend Nadene Rogers. It’s a sentiment her partner, Maureen Phillips, agrees with. Phillips, 69, was married to a man for 33 years. She struggled to come to terms with her sexuality even after that relationship ended. “It was a huge turmoil for me at that time because I had to decide between following where my heart was and what I really desired, or staying where I was in that limited thinking and restricting myself from what I felt was truly right for me,” says Phillips. Her apprehension entering into a same-sex relationship was largely based on how she thought other people would perceive her. “I feared there would be some negative reaction, even though this was the relationship that I wanted to enter,” she says. Rogers, 60, who first openly dated another woman in 1990, also let potential societal judgment steer her away from marriage. “One of the reasons I didn’t marry was because I feared the stigma,” she says. “It’s very painful to not be able to own and love yourself because society labels it as right or wrong.” But after finding one another in 2004, both women found a way to let go of their fears and the judgments of others, and embrace who they are. “I have changed and grown to accept and love myself exactly as I am,” Phillips says. With that growth, Rogers and Phillips realized they wanted to marry to declare their love for one another and for themselves. The morning after their 2005 wedding in British Columbia, news that the federal government was going to legalize same-sex unions made the front page of the local paper. (B.C. was quick to follow Ontario’s unprecedented lead in 2003 to legalize same-sex marriage provincially). “Love is love. Marriage is marriage. To have that recognized, it was a real relief,” Phillips says. Prior to the legalization of same-sex marriage in Canada, Rogers, the senior minister at the Joy of Life Centre for Spiritual Living, performed numerous commitment ceremonies. Today, about 40 per cent of the weddings she performs are for same-sex couples. In addition to its having granted everyone equal rights to declare their love and commitment, Rogers celebrates how the legalization of same-sex marriage helps challenge the discrimination some individuals face because of their sexuality. “These couples want to solemnize their relationships in the eyes of society, really, because it’s already done in the eyes of God.”
IN CALGARY 2013
— Paula Trotter photo
Lyn, left, and Brianne Langille are newly married. As pleased as the couple is that same-sex marriage is legal in Canada, they are looking forward to the day when it’s simply referred to as marriage.
Legal unions lessen discrimination BY PAULA TROTTER
D
espite coming out as a lesbian when she was 15, Lyn Langille married a man in her 20s. “Going back into the closet, a piece of me died,” she says. “I let family pressure, my own fear and lack of self-esteem pile up and push me into some really bad choices that included marrying a man I didn’t love.” But it wasn’t unhappiness that motivated Langille to stop suppressing herself. Instead, it was elation. She vividly remembers feeling overjoyed when Michael Leshner and Michael Stark became the first same-sex couple to legally marry in Canada 10 years ago. Langille’s emotional reaction to that civil union could not be ignored — she knew the time had come to divorce her husband and be true to herself. This August, she married her partner of five years, Brianne, in an intimate service in British Columbia, Langille’s children from her first marriage acting as ring bearers and Brianne’s father serving as the marriage commissioner. Their union comes just eight years after the federal government formally legalized same-sex marriage — a precedent first set in 2003 by Ontario, the province in which Leshner and Stark married. The Langilles, who call Calgary home and first met at a social outing arranged by
a local lesbian group, say the introduction of a gender-neutral Civil Marriage Act was a major step in acknowledging the equal rights of the LGBT community. “Looking at the bigger picture, it’s erasing one more thing that’s different,” Langille says. Same-sex marriage can be seen as giving gays, lesbians and transgendered — such as Brianne, who was born male and started transitioning at the age of 21 — the same opportunity as heterosexual couples to declare their love and commitment, she adds. It also has an even broader impact on society, Langille says. Giving samesex couples equal rights to marry has lessened, and will continue to lessen, discrimination, like that which pressured her into entering a heterosexual relationship. She also says couples no longer have to feel like straight marriages are their only opportunity to have a family, something many of her older friends felt and acted on prior to the legalization of same-sex marriage. “I believe that in the generations coming up behind us, you’ll see fewer and fewer people having to come out of choices like that,” Langille says. Despite progressive legislation in Canada, Brianne says the LGBT community continues to face inequality, including where marriage is concerned. “One day it won’t have to be called same-sex marriage — it will just be called marriage,” she says.
THIRTY-NINE
IN CALGARY 2013
Planting a seed
Gay-straight alliance provides safe environment in schools for LGBTQ students
BY MEGHAN JESSIMAN
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ust over a year ago, March 2012 to be exact, the Calgary Gay-Straight Alliance was officially born. The brainchild of 31-year-old Nick Moore, the sexual and gender minority youth education co-ordinator for Calgary Sexual Health Centre, the CGSA seeks to create safe and supportive environments for lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transgender and queer students who, unfortunately, often feel like outcasts in their schools, communities and even their own families. While working within Calgary’s schools as a comprehensive sexual-health educator, Moore discovered that many teachers were looking for ways to support LGBTQ students in their schools, but weren’t sure what action to take. “Myself and our other educators continuously encountered caring and compassionate teachers who recognized the trials and tribulations of being a LGBTQ youth in our city’s schools,” Moore explains. “We found that the teachers who were inviting us into their classes were usually also supportive allies to their LGBTQ students, but didn’t necessarily have the resources to support and engage them.” Moore began to host monthly meetings of the CGSA, as well as facilitating individual schools to start their own groups. The rate of growth in their first year has been phenomenal. FORTY
“What started with about four different schools participating has now evolved into 25 or 30 within Calgary and a number of participants from surrounding communities like Lethbridge and Okotoks,” Moore says. “That original meeting just carried along getting stronger and stronger and better at linking more and more GSAs together.” Bringing together a group of 35 to 75 folks each month — mostly youth, but often parents, grandparents, counsellors and community members — these meetings are equal parts fun and socializing and round-table discussions on pertinent issues the LGBTQ community is facing. “We focus on social advocacy, identify community opportunities as they arise, and work on cultivating leadership,” Moore says. “Participants then turn around and take these lessons, ideas and skills to their own GSAs.” It may not sound like much, but it all comes down to connection. CGSA plants a seed and it grows from there. For those individuals who so often feel ostracized or excluded, building a network of people who support and understand them can be an unparalleled, and often life-altering, gift, says Moore. Moving forward, Moore hopes the important conversations the CGSA facilitates not only continue, but continue to grow rapidly. “We hope to further support and connect the GSAs of Calgary and area,” he says. “We hope to find new and creative ways to engage the youth and their supportive teachers, as well as the greater community, to make all communities — especially schools — safe and nurturing for the typically marginalized LGBTQ youth.”
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IN CALGARY 2013
Don’t worry, be happy An abundance of travel companies offer vacation-planning that caters to same-sex families craving travel adventure BY MEGHAN JESSIMAN
T — Thinkstock photo
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he nuclear family our grandparents and parents grew up with is no longer the rule. Between 2006 and 2011, the number of samesex families living in Canada grew from 7,465 to 21,015, and continues to expand with every passing year. Canadian families are now a beautiful hodgepodge of foster, adopted and step-siblings, blended colours and ethnicities. and parental genders.
IN CALGARY 2013 But while Canadian society has come a long way in terms of accepting one another, same-sex parents still face challenges that heterosexual couples just don’t come up against. This is especially true when it comes time to plan a family vacation. While it’s one thing to battle intolerance on one’s home turf, taking one’s family to a new environment where they may not be understood or respected, can be an intimidating, even overwhelming prospect. This is one of the main reasons why over the last decade or so an abundance of travel companies have begun offering vacation-planning catering specifically to gay and lesbian families who crave travel adventures. One of North America’s largest purveyors of same-sex family-specific tours is R Family Vacations. Founded in 2003 by Rosie O’Donnell and her partner Kelli, the New York-based operation offers cruises, resort stays and even family summer-camp programs to the LGBT community. While there are plenty of companies offering fun and sun to homosexual travellers, R Family’s distinctive vibe is its family focus. Along with activities like cooking and yoga classes, Broadway reviews and concerts by big-name celebs, R Family often offers discussion groups on adoption, surrogacy and gay parenting. While this niche travel industry isn’t about creating vacations away from heterosexual parented families, options offered by R Family do provide a certain comfort zone for travellers and allow them to meet and interact with
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WHILE THE FOCUS OF THIS NICHE TRAVEL INDUSTRY ISN’T ABOUT CREATING VACATIONS AWAY FROM HETEROSEXUAL PARENTED FAMILIES, OPTIONS OFFERED BY R FAMILY DO PROVIDE A CERTAIN COMFORT ZONE FOR TRAVELLERS . . .
many other families like theirs. “Most kids with samesex parents don’t live in communities with many other same-sex parents, so our vacations provide an environment where they are the majority,” explains Gregg Kaminsky, a founding partner of R Family. “Some couples may feel like they can’t hold hands outside of their home and that isn’t fair to them, or the kids.” This isn’t to say that LGBT holidays are only open to homosexual families. According to Kaminsky, R Family’s trips are all about inclusion. “Everyone is welcome and we have all types of families and extended families who travel with us — both gay and straight,” he says. If it sounds utopian, that’s probably because it is. “Kids on our vacations ask other kids, ‘are those your moms?’ or, ‘are those your dads?’” Kaminsky says. “Absolute acceptance and love is the theme of every trip.”
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pride week events Friday, August 23
12th Ave. S.W.) 7:30 to 9 p.m. Presented by: The Calgary Queer History Project Admission: free More info at calgaryqueerhistory.ca Friday, August 30
Q The Arts: The Official Pride Kickoff Location: Hyatt Regency Calgary 7:30 p.m. to 2 a.m. Presented by Fairy Tales Presentation Society, Pride Calgary, and Swallow-ABicycle Theatre Tickets: $25 Early Bird, $30 Regular Admission: $35 at the door Featuring: The Cliks and plenty of local artists. Tickets available at qthearts2013.eventbrite.ca
Louder: Turn Up The Volume Preparty Presented by: YYC Bad Boys & The Backlot Location: The Backlot (209 10th Ave. S.W.) 6 p.m. to 2 a.m. Featuring: DJ Nico (Calgary), Drag performances by Dynamite & Voodoo No Cover www.facebook.com/ events/342522825880810/
Location: Vinyl Nightclub (Downstairs, 213 10th Ave. S.W.) 9 p.m. to 3 a.m. Featuring: Phon3hom3 (Edmonton) and Special Guest DJ Tickets: $20 presale, $30 at the door www.facebook.com/ events/290392137772722/ Saturday, August 31 Apollo Pride Hike Presented by Apollo Outdoor Pursuits Visit apollocalgary.com for details
Premier’s Pride Brunch In Support of Camp fYrefly Location: Hyatt Regency Calgary 11 a.m. Tickets: $50 +GST premierspridebrunch.eventbrite.ca
Tuesday, August 27 Calgary Women’s Centre Movie Night Location: Women’s Centre (646 1st Ave. N.E.) 6 to 8 p.m. Featuring: Gen Silent, a critically acclaimed film addressing the challenges faced by aging LGBT women and men. Admission: Free; open to anyone who identifies as a woman. RSVP to 403-264-1155 or caterina@ womenscentrecalgary.ca
PurePride Calgary (Official Pride Dance) Location: Flames Central 9 p.m. to 2:30 a.m. Tickets: $40 and up Featuring: Alaska Thunderf**k of RuPaul’s Drag Race www.facebook.com/ events/299906333479914/ Sunday, September 1
LOUDER Presented by: YYC Bad Boys Location: Vinyl Nightclub (213 10th Ave. S.W.) 9 p.m. to 3 a.m. Featuring: Stephan Grondin (Montreal) Tickets: $20 presale, $30 at the door www.facebook.com/ events/290392137772722/
Wednesday, August 28 Calgary Gay History Walk Start Location: CommunityWise (223
Second Annual Possibilities Bi-B-Q Location: James Short Park (115 4th Ave. S.W.) 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. Admission: Free Featuring: Live entertainment and an all-bodies, all-genders fashion show www.facebook.com/ events/610317025680179
LOUDER Pop Lounge Presented by: YYC Bad Boys & Tornado Productions
Calgary Dyke March Start Location: William Aberhart Park (24th Avenue and 2nd Street S.W.) 11:30 a.m. Follows 24th Avenue to 4th Street, down 4th Street to 18th Avenue, finishing at Rouleauvillie Square (18th Avenue & 1st Street S.W.) After Party to follow Admission: Free calgarydykemarch.tumblr.com/
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Pride Parade Location: Stephen Avenue, beginning at Olympic Plaza Noon Presented by: TD Canada Trust Admission: Free
6 p.m. to 3 a.m. Tickets: $30 presale Presenting: DJ Tatiana (Denver CO), DJ Fierce Tease (Louisville KY), Lisa Delux (Vancouver) www.facebook.com/ events/409547119162617/ Monday, September 2
Pride Street Festival Location: Shaw Millennium Park 12:30 to 6 p.m. Presented by: TD Canada Trust Featuring: Live entertainment, beer gardens, family zone, community vendors, food trucks and more Hershe Day Club Presented by: Flygirl Productions Location: West Rooftop Patio (225 7th Ave. S.W.) 1 p.m. to 8 p.m. Tickets: $35 +GST Presenting: DJ Rikki Rocket (Vancouver) and Jenna J (Vancouver) www.flygirlproductions.com/event/ hershe-day-club-rooftop-partycalgary/
Fused 2 The Official Calgary Pride Wrap-up Party Presented by: Les Girls and YYC Bad Boys Location: Commonwealth Bar & Stage (731 10th Ave. S.W.)
—Calgary Herald Archive
Mayor Naheed Nenshi, 2011 marshall for the Pride Calgary’s parade. Donnie Peters Memorial Cut-A-Thon Presented by: The St. Asia Foundation Location: Thompkins Park (17th Ave. & 8th Street S.W.) 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. In support of the AIDS Calgary Positive Living Lunch Program www.facebook.com/ events/180427142131399/
The Big Gay Pride Brunch Presented by Gay Friends in Calgary Location: National on 10th (341 10th Ave. S.W.) 11 a.m. Tickets: $25 gayfriendsincalgary.ticketleap. com/big-gay-pride-brunch/
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