Expression by camdcommunications

by noelle thorstenson

noelle thorstenson -Henri Matisse

Expression: The Artwork and Musings of Laurence Angeline

creativity takes courage

Some of the most poignant and powerful art stems from genuine human experiences and the expression

expre ssion the artwork and musings of laurence angeline

of deep and intimate emotions. Many artists who suffer from depression, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia utilize the canvas as a method of projecting their inner thoughts, fears, and passions. The concept of a connection between creativity and mental illness has been extensively discussed and studied for centuries. While there may not be any scientific proof of such a link, there has been a considerable amount of anecdotal evidence present throughout history. It is no secret that some of the most influential and brilliant artists have been affected by mental illness and substance abuse disorders, however, does that really influence and inspire their artwork? As Aristotle once said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;no great genius has ever existed without a strain of madness.â&#x20AC;?

by noelle thorstenson

expre ssion the artwork and musings of laurence angeline

by noelle thorstenson

expre ssion

/ik spreSHen/ noun the process of making known oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s thoughts or feelings.

the artwork and musings of laurence angeline

if you hear a voice within you saying,

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;You are not a painter,â&#x20AC;&#x2122; then by all means paint, boy, and that voice will be silenced

- Vincent Van Gogh

Dedicated to Jenna, Kaedra, Kim, and Jon and those who inspire me every day

Text: Noelle Thorstenson and Laurence Angeline Designed: Noelle Thorstenson Images: Laurence Amgeline Fonts: Calluna Scala sans Printed and Bound: Blurb Created: April, 2018

pre face The following pages are full of rich stories, moving art, poignant poetry, and deep conversations that shed light on the importance and steadfast beauty of art in the face of mental illness, addiction, and other life struggles. I chose to tell the story of Laurence Angeline, an artist and musician whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s work speaks to the depth and vulnerability of raw human emotion to illustrate the importance of creativity. The text is an accumulation of conversations, observations, and stories that have been gathered over the past few months, and the images are part of Larryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s personal collection. All of the text you read and the images you see were created by Larry and me to produce an authentic monograph. My hope is that this story inspires and moves anyone with a passion for art, and takes you on an illustrative journey filled with hope, perseverance, and beauty. 8

“you aren’t dying, you’re fighting,

THE DRAGONFLY

and that’s why it hurts so much”

I had the pleasure of meeting Laurence Angeline in January of 2018. Originally an old friend of the family, Larry and I reconnected in order to collaborate and create the book you are reading now. Over the past few months we have engaged in a thoughtful exchange of stories, art, and life through weekly phone calls, text conversations, and letters. He has shared profound parts of his life through his work, and it has been an honor to get to know another artist in a deeper way. I decided to begin the book with this painting because I believe it exemplifies Larry’s journey. Though seemingly beautiful and vibrant, this painting has a deeper meaning symbolic of an ever-present inner struggle. The dragonfly represents life, however, the deep, red background alludes to a chaotic environment.

I was sitting outside at one of those metal outdoor coﬀee tables, for lack of a better term, and it had an interesting surface texture with a worn-out, red painted finish. On the ground was a dead dragonfly. I picked the little fellow up, placed him on the table, and took this picture. It came out cool. The dragonfly represents an intense spirit flying and surveying a sea of blood red sand. It’s a little bit about deception: someone might look at this photo composition and think it’s clever and beautiful, but it’s really about destruction and trauma. This in some sense represents my inner battles.

THE PARADOX OF RECOVERY

This is the paradox of recovery. Particularly early recovery. The pretentious asshole on the right thinks he’s perfect and presumes he’s a better man than the one on the left, and therefore can judge him. When in actuality, the man

“molupiet

eos eatem natum quaeperum qui remquate sequis dolectorrum eossunt porrum fuga. Sediae omnis enimet”

on the left, who has been mistaken for an assumed bum, is practicing his 12 steps and is on his way to becoming far more mentally hygienic than the clean-cut business man on the right.

“molupiet eos eatem natum

quaeperum qui remquate sequis dolectorrum eossunt porrum fuga. 13 Sediae omnis enimet”

I remember you, You rode the parades

THROUGHOUT MY LIFE

That celebrated my life When I was young Then all time’s shields fell, and all wasn’t well

As a boy, I sketched all the time. I was always trying After listening to Larry talk about his life, it is evident he possesses a natural gift. His story gives his art so much power and depth, and creates an undeniable bond between artist and viewer. His journey is one fraught with empowering experiences and turbulent

And the ghost of time will tell, says I am done.

new things. I was obsessed with showing expression and movement. Even as an adult, when people see me sketch, they sometimes giggle because I make the

Time machine, take me to a dream that’s called tomorow,

expressions on my face that I want to draw.

Cuz this road I’ve been on,

I also bend and twist my limbs to bring alive the

Is filled with broken dreams and tales of broken will and sorrow,

movements I’m trying to capture in my work.

Sorrow, take me to tommorrow.

trials, however, his art represents a beacon of light consistently providing hope and power. I never called myself an artist, let alone a musician songwriter, but those have been my go-to places and provided comfort over the years when I didn’t have anything else to call myself. However, many of my friends that I grew up with

Skeleton of my past says that if I move too fast, I might

and other people that get to know me well would describe me that way. At first, however, they

forget I’ve learned.

always think I’m some kind of a bruiser that’s going to break things up. It’s weird how people

Skeleton of my future, my forever teacher says I move

tend to bank on first impressions which can limit their perception, and be dead wrong.

to fast and I might get burned. From lessons of street play down lovers way. She’s playing catch me if you can.

I think more so than any other reason for not pursuing art and music professionally is because

So, cry for lady dressed in maybe, you’ll never be her

the whole thing seemed so incredibly abstract to me. I kind of didn’t know what to do next. I

man.

know I can draw pretty well, but I don’t know how to do perspective and I don’t know technical

No you’ll never be, you’ll never be.

strategies which caused me to have low self esteem about my art and music. My wife even sent

Her everloving man.

me to drawing classes once, but I didn’t get it. I don’t know. I do think in a sense it would ruin me if I became technical.

Now the stadium of youth and love are bare, and all that’s there is everything that’s gone.

And the wind it tears through empty vials, And scars the with a junkyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dying song, A junkyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dying song. Always wanting all the love in the world. To a lonley world. Always walking on fire. Someone tell me where is the fire now? Sorrow, broken dreams and sorrow. Sorrow, broken dreams and sorrow

But the moon and the stars were out last night . All fear of future loss had taken flight. By three am shaking in my bed, by 4 am I put a gun to my head, by 5 am I bowed my head and cried. And prayed my friend this would be our last goodbye. Oh time machine. Time machine. Time machine . Time machine

PABLO: HITTING HIGHWAY 10 ON A BULLDOG MISSION

“Pablo: Hitting The Highway 10 on a Bulldog Mission” is actually a depiction of a really good friend of mine named Paul who lives out in LA. It doesn’t look much like him but it’s how I see him in my head. He’s a great guy. He was constantly going on these executive missions for a gentleman whose last name is very similar to the word bulldog. Paul doesn’t ride motorcycles as far as I know, but I picture him riding boldly with a very stoic look on his face thinking about what nobody else knows.

AM I FUCKING VAN GOGH? NO I’M NOT, I’M LAURENCE ANGELINE 18

REMY

“These are many different versions of my good friend Remy. She’s a very beautiful girl with many different aspects, so it’s hard to take them all in at once. She was quite the chameleon with her hair so she always looks different. “

...A hell of a good dancer too”

GIRL SITTING Larry claims that he isn’t a “portrait artist”, however, I believe his interpretations of the human form present the subject in a dynamic and thought-provoking way, bringing a new meaning to the word. The bright and deep colors used in his palette bring a new dimension to the paint, and demonstrate an astounding ability to draw the viewer in and capture their attention. The saturated colors provide an eye-catching display of ordinary scenes as he deviates from the neutral hues that are more commonly used. The primary colors in the scene combine to allow Remy to pop from the background and become the focal point of the This is one of my many versions of the same girl who I’ll call painting. Red is an emotionally charged color, and represents feelings

“Special K”. She’s actually an exotic dancer that I grew very

of strength, power, and desire.

close to over time and who I still consider a friend. Special

Remy is described as a passionate

K is simply a codename for my friend who wishes to remain

woman, therefore the surrounding

anonymous. After I got to know her a little bit, she opened

red encompasses her emotions and

up about her life and her past. She is quite a beautiful young

reflects her personality. Similarly, the

lady inside and out, so I use her as an archetype in a lot of my

exaggerated brush strokes give the

paintings. I also call her Remy in some.

painting texture, and stimulates the different senses of sight and touch. His focus is on capturing movement and representing the subject matter in a vibrant, unique way rather than focusing on specific details. Larry explores the human form with a stylistic approach reminiscent of past expressionist painters. Just as the expressionism movement was an intense reaction to the current state of the world, so is Larry’s art. He is a revolutionary artist. 22

HER INVERT

“I do artwork because i have to do it. I can’t do pieces when someone has told me i need to. it’s just an impulse”

REMI IS SERIOUS

These are all interpretations of the same woman. She’s very beautiful, but also dark and destructive in nature. If you hang around her too long she can take you apart piece by piece. Then when you’re laying on the floor dismantled, she would tell you to get your shit together. Her childhood was a nightmare, but you could tell she wanted to share some of those experiences with you. She is a very sensual woman programmed to kill souls.

“not everything needs to make sense, sometimes you just need to release the bullshit and perform an exorcism on the canvas” I think that Larry’s portrayal of women is unique and intriguing. Each figure has a different story, which is demonstrated through his use of various colors, brush strokes, and positions. For example, Remy is featured numerous times in his work, but appears solemn in this particular painting with outstretched arms and closed eyes, deviating from the bright, warm colors typically featured. It is truly fascinating how he can capture the personality and mood of each individual in a very distinct way. 28

BLUE CITY

Larry has the incredible ability to find inspiration and create art out of anything surrounding him. His uncanny ability to

I call this “Blue City”. It actually started oﬀ as a smear

utilize the canvas in innumerable ways

pad to wipe my excess paint oﬀ on glossy photo-paper

is shown through the variety of his work

used for printing. I kind of started seeing something

and his use of different instruments. After

and kept tweaking it. I started seeing a haunting

studying his art and hearing the process

industrial city at midnight. The blue represents my

behind his work, it is remarkable to see

frame of mind. The dark city is where I was hiding

how he can turn nothing into something

during my depression

and utilize anything as a canvas. So many times I have asked, “How did you make this?” and each time he responds with something different. From nail polish, to gel pens, to a computer mouse, he has done it all. “Blue City” provides a glimpse inside Larry’s mind, and expresses his feelings through abstraction. The dark and light are conflicting colors, representing two different contrasting emotions: hope and despair. This demonstrates how influential art can come from almost anything.

“most of it is out of my head. this is why creativity is more important than realism”

THE LAST BAND You’re going down the road,

No the morning’s awakend

and the road it is so lonely and so long.

you stopped shaking,

But those words are clouds a pain. Don’t want to worry about the rain . I just want to sing to this song. And passively you listened As I watched you slowly fade.

And I’m too young to have this trouble heart,

No you’re cold.

And I don’t want these tears to start.

Looks like the kingdoms calm in the kingdoms

I know it’s time you should depart,

will has been done,

My friend I wish you could stay.

my God I feel so old. But I will sing to you song to guide your way

But this is the last band

This is the last train leaving this trouble town.

through the mysteries of dusk

singing you your last song

You’ll be 1,000,000 miles away when the moon has

to your brand new day.

reached the dawn. I know you’re tired of the pain

And on the nighttime turns to day.

and soon you’ll be moving on

You’re the lonley listener.

This is the last band, this is the last song. This is the last train. This is the last town.

What do I have to say. Brother you and I Both tasted the breath of sky. No brother you and I Are both going to change. Brother you and I Oath swore we would never die No, you and I, Thought we just rearrange.

This is the last band.

LIFE, MUSIC, AND GUITAR

Since the beginning of time, music has been a core component of the brain and the soul. Music precedes language, and serves as a method of emotional expression and communication. Music also happens to be another element of Larry’s artistic persona. Like painting and drawing, Larry has not been technically trained in singing or song-writing, yet I believe this gives him a sense of artistic freedom that manifests from a lack of traditional structure and unbridled creativity. His songs are traditionally acoustic, and feature lyrics that allude to feelings of loss, love, and hope. Oftentimes his art and his music go hand in hand, and they intertwine to create powerful messages that tell meaningful stories. He paints and draws musicians as well, oftentimes starring

The music/guitar playing/singing and song writing is something that’s been going on since I was very young: probably from the age of about 12 or 13. I started oﬀ playing in coﬀee shops and other small venues, but I never performed in front of a large audience. Currently I don’t have a guitar,

funky guitar players and jazz bands. The highlights and

but I will get one as soon as I move into a

shadows are reminiscent of high and low tones, and

place of my own. The art and music come

aesthetically demonstrate pitches. The textural edges and

from diﬀerent places in my creative world.

brushstrokes mimic the movement and rhythm of chords

And the music, which is just a rough sketch

and notes, and represent music in a visual way. I tell Larry

of chords, pops into my head as clear as

the same thing about his music that I do his art; you don’t

a bell. As time goes on, that musical idea

need professional lessons or technical perfection to be

evolves into song. I have a lot of visual

good. Art is about passion, expression, and authenticity.

ideas to go along with the songs and they help propel me along as I’m writing music. Music is a natural thing for me.

GUITAR PLAYERS

“i live in my head when it comes to music, i like to make fictitious scenes in my mind

i play guitar and sing, so my art reflects that”

DR. BETH AT THE RONGOVIAN EMBASSY

A dear friend of mine, Beth M., is an adjunct professor at Tompkins community college which is near Trumansburg. There is a funky fabled bar there called the Rongivian Embassy, and Beth held satellite classes there. This is what I imagined it would look like. Beth has her back to the viewer. She’s a cutie and I love her. She’s one of the best friends I’ve ever had.

Oftentimes, Larry’s inspiration comes from personal interactions, and his representation of them denotes the feelings and experiences associated with the individual. The bold, red dress featured on Beth M. draws the focus to her figure, and intensifies her prominence within the painting. Beth appears to be floating in the air, portraying a sense of movement within a static environment. The image itself resembles an almost angelic scene, with the two figures uniting with the glasses they share in the sky.

SUSAN’S STORM

This is called “Pokies Big Aventura”. It is a depiction of my ex-wife Susan, who is a wonderful woman with a great sense of humor, but who also gets wound up sometimes. When she does I picture her strutting around swinging her arms and blowing everything up into a beautiful space

“Such a wasted beauty” is a play on the phrase. I was living in a condo complex on Indianhead Boulevard in Claremont California and hanging out by the pool

Both of these pieces are meant to represent the dynamic form

every day. This woman would come out and drink

of the female figure. “Pokies Big Adventura” epitomizes the

martinis. I could tell at one point in her life she was

personality of Larry’s ex-wife by demonstrating her mannerisms.

probably a very attractive woman, but her drinking

“Such a Wasted Beauty” depicts an ageing woman who has

habit had sadly taken a toll on her looks. I think she

fallen victim to her vices. Each work captures the essence and

knew this because her jargon was very cynical and

characteristics of a person,and highlights their unique traits.

self loathing. So anyways, she was a waste of beauty. She drank her pretty face away.

WILD WOMAN

This one is called “Wild Woman”, and it’s just done from my imagination. I hung some artwork in a local hair salon named Anousheh after it’s owner. It’s a pretty big piece of artwork something like 4 feet across by five feet long. I did it so it would take up some space on the wall. I was trying to depict living with some funky looking hairdos. The owner was a great guy who encouraged me to do it. 44

CONTINUING ON I think that having a depressive disorder has aﬀected I recently asked Larry how his mental state has affected his art, and what advice he would give to future musicians and artists struggling with low self-confidence and addiction. After taking some time to consider what was being asked, this was his response:

my life in general, but through my art and music I have been able to find redemption and deliverance from the depressive state I am in. If I had to oﬀer advice to any artists and musicians who struggle with depression, it would be to try and understand that their expression through art and music is a tool to deliver them from their mental chaos. You have to understand that written songs, paintings,

and drawings can be a living, breathing aspect of your depression. Creations in that state help process heartbreak in a healthy, reflective way. As far as drug addiction goes, I’m not gonna lie and say that I haven’t produced some pretty cool stuﬀ while high. However, the reality is that prolonged use of substances kills those creative instincts that make life bearable. So while you may have a good time being jacked up on God knows what and making some trippy paintings

“in any event, i have found comfort in music and art most of my life.

or writing cool songs, just remember that high won’t last forever. And the really tragic thing is that you might develop a dependency on needing to be high in order to be creative. I’ll tell you straight up that needed to be high to create is a bunch of bullshit. God gave you

both are something no one can take away from me”

creative instincts when you were born. I actually sing and play better and with more consistency when I’m sober. People get scared and insecure about being creative when they aren’t doing drugs and alcohol, but that’s just the disease of addiction trying to tell you that you cannot do what’s special to you without the help of substances, which is flat-out wrong.

PERGATORY FOR LOUSY FISHERMAN Larry has expressed that some of his most important work are his sketches and cartoons. He began drawing from an early age and it provided an escape from any tough times he faced growing up. The details show personality and movement, and while not highly technical, offer a unique way of getting an artistic point across. They demonstrate a sense of ironic humor and provide a commentary on societal biases and norms. “Purgatory for Lousy Fisherman” portrays a comical scene of three men attempting to fish. The title ‘purgatory’ compares the boat and the water to a place of suffering, relating the lack of a catch to the death

“Purgatory for Lousy Fishermen” is kind of a tongue-in-

of a fisherman. Cartoons are an

cheek idea. It’s just three fishermen floating on a raft in

important way to learn about

some kind in a surreal setting on some ocean somewhere.

the world around us, confront

They are stuck hoping for the best but accomplishing

life issues, and connect with

nothing. The fish arent biting, and the only thing they’re

various audiences. Larry’s satire

catching is a sunburn. Some woman in the French

and comedy is distinct in it’s

Quarter in New Orleans asked me to do a cartoon for her

influence, and oftentimes relates

boyfriend that had to do with fishing. This was it.

to some of his past experiences.

THE INCREDIBLE VOYAGE OF MISS BLUE “Every second is a miracle and celebration of life. she’s a teacher of these things, to anyone that knows her”

SOMEWHERE’S PATSY ANSIE

"this painting is of my mother who i love very much. she suffered from alzheimer’s the last 10 years of her life and she passed in november of this past year. i miss her very much, and i know she’s out there somewhere” 54

THE BEAUTY MACHINE

“Special K” or “Remy” is a frequent subject of Larry’s paintings. However, she is represented differently in each piece. “The Beauty Machine” is one of my favorite portraits because of the unique story behind it. In this piece, “Special K” has her back to the viewer, and appears to be swaying or moving. She stands out from the background due to the flecks of feminine, pink paint that outline her body, and the bold blue lines traversing her back. Her figure embodies the chaos in the surrounding scene, yet reflects her organic movement. Color plays an important part in this piece, as the darker tones create the atmosphere and the brighter colors illuminate the details.

The painting called “ The Beauty Machine” ended up just being another version of Special K. As I got to know her more she kept teasing me about being too shy

to see one of her shows, so I went to check it out. But, I drew her as the “Superhero Special K” who paralyzes her victims when she shows them her ass. She’s a very kind, young woman with a college degree and a full athletic scholarship. I guess the dancing gives her the cash she needs to buy the nice things she wants and to stay afloat.

SURRENDER It’s a man without a country, with no loyalties to pledge.

It’s a lonely soldier crying as he steps out on the ledge.

It’s a child without his father that has been taken from his home.

It’s a mother leaving family to their destinies unknown.

It’s more than the arms of a man can take. It’s watching the arms of an angel break.

“I can tell you this: i’ve never produced a piece of artwork or written a song with the intention of selling it.

Say goodbye to all you have known to an experiment called surrender. Say farewell to our you have known to an experiment called surrender.

i created them because i was compelled to”

SOMETIMES THERE’S ANGELS

“i felt like i was banished. i was thinking that i was an angel in many ways through the some of the good things i’ve done, but in the end, the gates of heaven were closed off to me forever. “

Art has the ability to profoundly affect our lives. It serves as a universal form of communication, an expressive outlet, a treatment to combat mental illness, and an enduring therapeutic tool. Many people utilize art in order to give way to realizations and express emotions that can’t be portrayed through normal vocalization. Larry’s work is an example of the power of the creative process, and the effect of art on the human soul. He has voiced how art has had the power to save his life during his darkest points, and expressed his gratitude for it’s healing abilities. “Sometimes There’s Angels” depicts a sorrowful face pointed upwards to the Heavens. The emotion portrayed in the piece directly correlates to the idea of hope and prayer while in the midst of anguish and darkness. It serves as a symbol of the effect of mental illness.

I made this painting in the fall of 2015. It’s the first time I had ever experienced depression. I had spray-painted a paper grocery bag and the next day noticed that the bleedthrough of the paint left a pattern on the other side. I worked with the pattern until it started to form the image you see. I went to the Dollar Store to get some paint. Didn’t have any. So I bought some mascara and used that. The painting depicts a cherubic figure I liken to an angel. The angel has a defiant, sad look on his face and is crying. He has become separated from God. It represents the living hell I was entering into and would be stuck in for two and a half years.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Your perception changes, you start guarding the disease, you become friends with it, and then it consumes your whole life and it progresses without youâ&#x20AC;? 62

PORTRAIT OF A MAN

This is really just a fictitious conglomerate of a frazzled but dashing English-gentleman-absent minded-college-professor -looking type, with a sort of a high grant-ish kind of flavoring. I painted it for the hell of it. I’m really not a portrait artist so this is the closest thing I have to one. As you can see, it’s not what you would typically describe as one.

These portraits are a representation of Larry’s artistic freedom. They don’t conform to the idea of a traditional “portrait”, yet they still capture the personality of the featured subject. Though it is not an exact replication, we still get a sense of who the man is based on his facial expression and his dynamic form. We are able to see the man for who he is, not necessarily what he looks like.

THE DANCERS

“i’m athletic and good at sports and that’s part of my identity, but my deeper soul is art and music” I call this “The Dancers”, I should call it the gymnasts. It’s kind of a surreal painting that shows some dancers or gymnasts dancing in an environment that almost looks like you’re underwater. I imagine this is what freedom feels like.

LIFE LESSONS There are many reasons as to why I create art. The Larry’s artistic journey is a unique one, and fellow artists and musicians can learn from his story and experiences. I asked him at one point, what do you want people to know about you from this book? After seeing your work and hearing your story, what do you want people to take away from everything?

most virtuous one is that I’m creating it for selfgratification, and I’m trying to work on something that needs to come out of me to completion. But in reality, I’ve been a tortured artist most of my life, and that is something most of my friends (or anybody that had the wherewithal to be in a relationship with me for more than a week) can definitely attest to. I see the world in a certain way, and it is through

this lense that I try to understand why things happen the way they do. As an artist, I think I have the power to create solutions to problems because I have the ability to think outside the box. My fatal flaw is that I tend not to give up when it is CLEARY time to. However, I guess what I would like people to know about me is that the most important thing I’ve learned about myself as an artist and songwriter is that you don’t need to be part of the club to create things.

“I get stimulated by art- i get really into it. it’s just impulsive

Everybody is given special talents and gifts, and life should be a celebration of people expressing those gifts. One of my regrets was that I never attempted to put my work out there in exhibitions or

I make a bunch of squiggly lines and it just takes shape. I get caught up in it so deeply”

perform live, but I think it’s important that artists and songwriters develop their own skills without getting trapped into simply competing with others. Don’t be scared to learn new things. If you see somebody doing something interesting that you identify with, don’t be scared to ask that person to share their techniques with you. The same goes with music. Think enough of yourself to train hard and be a good musician or artist. Collaborate with others, form a band ....you’ll improve. I didn’t do these things and it has limited me. However, I am learning how to regain confidence in my singing, writing, and artistic abilities.

ARIEL

Larry has disclosed many stories of the hardships he has faced throughout his life. These stories, while tough to hear, provide a glimpse into the journey of a person who has experienced dark times, yet emerged into a strong, wellversed man. Drugs have played a part in Larry’s artistic career, however, he has found a way to overcome his past addictions and live a healthy life. Still, some of his most moving and poignant art stems from these experiences as they demonstrate the pain and suffering that accompanies addiction. The dark tones within this image represent death and sickness, and the expression on Ariel’s face is one of inner pain and torment. The harrowing effect of the painting causes the viewer to see the impact of drug dependence in an intimate and personal way, and sympathize with those afflicted by it.

“i didn’t understand the darkness that was consuming me. I felt like i was being punished by god for anything bad i had ever done” This is called Ariel. It represents the first time I saw somebody withdraw from heroin. She’s a lost soul just trying to get some meds. The pain is a real strong likeness, but serves more as a filter that captures the torture that was going on inside her body, mind, and soul during that horrific period. I think Ariel is important because it represents a very dark part of my life that had an intense impact on me and drove me to change. 74

THE FATHER-IN-LAW

This painting is a depiction of my father-in-law, Jack and my mother-in-law Linda. They are two of the funniest people I’ve ever known. I could just picture them sitting in this ramshackle diner that is falling apart at the seams, and Linda saying something to the tune of, “Jack, this place is a piece of shit. Let’s get out of here.” And Jack just stating, “ok”

â&#x20AC;&#x153;this i just did of a friend who passed away, Laurie. I like to picture her in heaven, showing a bouquet of beautiful flowers.â&#x20AC;?

THANKING THE ELEMENTS This nude is called “Nzingha Thanking the Elements”. It’s basically a woman walking over a fire. And yes, a woman I know is the archtype represented in the painting. I actually copied and pasted an image of fire and saved it to Microsoft paint, then painted the image of the woman using a mouse.

I created this on the computer, using Microsoft Paint. I literally drew it using the mouse. Someday when I can aﬀord it, I want to buy a graphic interface that will allow me to “draw” and download it directly to the computer.

THE SAMURAI

PORTRAIT OF A WOMAN IN GOLD Life goes on for me. I’ve gone through a myriad of mood stabilizers to treat my bipolar cycles. Every day gets brighter, but I have to meet God and

One of the most important things I’ve learned from Larry is that it doesn’t matter where you’ve been or what you’ve done, but

modern medicine halfway to live a

rather what you’re doing to move forward.

productive life. I find that as I grow

Larry’s road to sobriety is truly inspiring,

in my sobriety, I am also developing

and he embodies hope and promise to

a deeper relationship with God and

those struggling. His art accurately reflects

becoming a more spiritual being.

the life and experiences of a man who has

faced the darkness and persevered through it. It’s fascinating to see the changes and fluctuations in his artwork, from bright, colorful visuals, to dark and solemn images. Each piece demonstrates a different point in his life and provides a glimpse into his thoughts, moods, and knowledge. A true artist is one who has the ability to create a meaningful relationship between the art and the audience, and has the influence to evoke powerful emotions and feelings. Based on this criteria, Larry embodies the purest form of an artist. His unique impressions capture the movement and changing dynamics of life, and portray the influence of emotion within art pieces. One of the reasons Larry’s art is so

I’m making some progress and I am

powerful is the pure authenticity of his

in a program at a facility to treat my

creative expression. He allows himself to

PTSD, addiction, and physical stuﬀ

be vulnerable, and utilizes art and music as

that was ignored for 30 years. I’m in

an outlet for both pain and happiness, and

the midst of completing my 12 steps

his work reflects genuine, raw emotion that

for recovery, and I’m on my way to

connects with our fundamental humanity.

becoming a sponsor. I’ve realized

“substance abuse is about your ego. it’s the thing that keeps you addicted because you think you’re in control, and you can’t admit you’re not”

alcohol changes who I am, and I’m an addict, but I’m a recovering addict. 88

DANCER WOMAN

in being her creator, i expressed my own energy through her conception. So, she is a teacher of strength and healing. This painting of a mystically beautiful woman is just another version of my good friend Special K. She knows me very well, and always knows what to say when Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m at my lowest. She is my dark, beautiful deity that guides me to a better place.

The Elephant is very powerful I think. When I created this, I felt very troubled and lonely because I knew I was manic and I couldn’t control it, and I was also heartbroken for the trouble my friend was having. I designed the elephant as a mask for myself and my problems. Remember that the elephant has great memories. And with its monarch winged ears it can magically fly away to a better place.

MONARCH ELEPHANTS

The elephant exemplifies power, strength, and wisdom, and is usually a symbol of protection and honest love. Naturally, I am drawn to Larry’s interpretation of elephants which represent a sense of personal hope and freedom. Elephants never forget, and they signify the places he’s been, and the memories he has created along the way. Elephants are revered and respected throughout the world, and it is said, “nature’s great masterpiece, an elephant, is the only harmless, great thing.” This is really just a funky magical elephant. I just got done doing a series of abstract elephants, and wanted to do one that had a little bit more fun to it. This guy is kind of a benevolent little character that lights the world as he moves through it. I think monarch elephants represent how important it is to reflect on where you’ve been, what you’ve learned from those experiences, and how important it is to move forward based on that knowledge. Sort of like freedom.

the monarch elephant represents the following sentiment

remember, learn, then fly 98

“Art is unquestionably one of the purest and highest elements in human happiness. It trains the mind through the eye, and the eye through the mind. As the sun colors flowers, so does art color life.” John Lubbock (1834-1913), “The Pleasures of Life”

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