Culture City Informer

striving to pick someone who will execute weddings with the appropriate dignity and grace: e.g., that special someone who is able to listen to the phrase “I can’t believe I’m marrying my best friend” 900 times a year without getting their eyes stuck mid-roll.

Vital Stats establishes a specific number of commissioner positions for each city in B.C., based on the area’s population. This totals around applicants are “retired or semi-retired,” not involved in activities that could be a conflict of interest and are active in their communities. In other words: if you’re a busy divorce lawyer who just emerged from a decades-long entrapment in a bomb shelter (a.k.a. Blast from the Past syndrome), this might not be the side hustle for you.

Of course, there is another avenue toward making your wedding (administration) dreams come true: a little loophole I like to call “religion.” B.C.’s Marriage Act gives religious bodies the freedom to appoint their own reps—so if you’re interested in performing a wedding ceremony, maybe now’s the time to finally commit to a leadership role at the Sacred Circle of the Great Mystery Shamanic Society. Or if you don’t have time to explore the riddles of human existence, you can always pony up $2,500 USD for a fast-tracked six-month online course and become an ordained minister at the Canadian International Metaphysical Ministry.

370 across the province. Marriage commissioners are allowed to serve for 10 years, which means opportunities to apply for this plum role come up infrequently—who would want to walk away from $75 a gig plus bottomless wedding cake? Those are the sort of benefits labour unions across the world are fighting for.

Unlike the pay-to-play model that’s common in the States, our Vital Statistics Agency is looking for a very particular type of person. Successful stacey.mclachlan@vanmag.com

In sum: those of us without a passion for sacred shapes or spending half a year on Zoom at a “metaphysical university” will just have to apply the old-fashioned way, and then wish and wait for that special day when the government finally pops the big question: “Will you marry them?” Those who pass the interview process do have to complete a three-hour training session, which presumably entails listening to Lonestar’s smash hit “Amazed” on repeat to test your wedding fortitude.

But once you’re in, much like a marriage, you’re in it for life 10 years. Step down the aisle to your rightful place at the altar, finally the unapologetic Officiantzilla you’ve dreamed of being since you were a little girl.

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Construction on the largest hospital redevelopment in BC’s

The new St. Paul’s Hospital on the Jim Pattison Medical Campus will usher in a new era in health care that will drive innovation and save lives. Find out how it will transform health care for all British Columbians at helpstpauls.com/newstpauls

Between inflation and real estate prices and the climate emergency and civil unrest, there are plenty of good reasons for Vancouverites to feel a titch stressed right now. Luckily, we live in a city where there are equally as many ways to chill back out. From high-end body treatments that soothe the soul to surreally serene sound-bathing to sumptuous cedar tub soaks, consider this your ultimate guide to finding a moment of peace in these chaotic times.

WRITTEN BY KERRI DONALDSON, ALYSSA HIROSE, STACEY M cLACHLAN AND ANICKA QUIN ILLUSTRATIONS BY KATY DOCKRILL