Blunt Advice

By Ellie Carr

Dear Ellie,

I ran out of papers and don’t have a piece to smoke with. All I have is an old lime that’s been sitting on the top of my refrigerator for too long. I’ve seen people smoke out of fruits before, but not expired ones. Can I smoke weed out of a rotten lime that is hard and discolored? -Sativa Sinner

Dear Sativa Sinner,

I’ll admit, I’ve done this with an old lemon, and it wasn’t too bad. Your biggest risk is tainting the flavor of your bud. However, the sourness and rotten flavor of the lime is worth a quick trip to your local grocery store. Even when the fruit is ripe, it still dampens the flavor of the flower. If your concern is food poisoning, you’re in the clear. I did some research, and unless you’re in a pinch for food, too, and choose to eat it, you can only get sick if you actually ingest the rotten lime. And even then, you might get away with it. Prepare yourself with something to wash it down, because those sour, pungent flavors of old citrus will linger on your tastebuds. If you’ve never smoked out of a small fruit before, I have some quick tips:

● Make sure to carve a good sized hole at the top of the lime for the bowl piece, about the size of a nickel. (You want to get the most out of one hit, so you don’t have to keep tasting the lime.)

● Once you’ve carved a hole, stick a pen through the center until it pokes through the bottom

● You should have one hole at the top for the bowl piece, and one hole at the bottom for the mouthpiece

● Clear out as much of the center of the fruit as possible so there is a clear pathway

● Pack your bud into the nickel sized hole, light up, and smoke from the bottom.

Do not poke a hole on the top of the lime and then on the side, the way you would with an apple. I’ve done this, and ended up with a singed eyebrow and hardly any smoke. Don’t worry about the weed falling through the hole to the bottom, don’t be stingy when packing the bowl and it will hold.

Since your lime is rotten to the point of hardness, you might need to carve it with something stronger than a pen, maybe a butter knife or the neck of a fork. Get creative. Because of the firmness of the zest, this will be a tricky endeavor, a bold one even. With enough stamina, and ability to endure bad flavors, you can make it happen.

Dear Ellie, I moved in with a new roommate who doesn’t smoke weed. She says it’s fine to smoke in the house, but I smoke a lot, and I feel bad lighting up in our shared spaces. Any tips on how to live in a non-smoking home? - The Good Roomie

Dear The Good Roomie,

Hopefully you have some sort of porch, or yard—even sitting in the doorway will do. My advice is to find a spot that works for you, and make it your own space for smoking. Preferably somewhere within five feet of your home that you have access to during all hours of the day. You might want to try making your own edibles or buying aTHC pen that allows you to smoke more discreetly than bud.

I remember my first group of roommates in college. There were four of us in a three-bedroom home, and, luckily, we were all pretty big stoners at the time. We were practically eating weed for breakfast, so the answer to smoking in the house was an obvious “Yes”. After three years, I moved out of that little kush cave and into a small, two-bedroom

apartment with a friend who, like your roommate, did not smoke. She was adamant on no smoking in the house, not even in the privacy of my own room.

Not smoking in the apartment was difficult after coming from a home where people were lighting up at all hours of the day. I had my habits of smoking a bowl in bed before going to sleep, or on the couch before watching a movie, and in the kitchen while cooking. I blazed in practically every corner of that home, so a no-smoking zone was an abrupt change for me.

Eventually, I came to love my nights alone on the patio, listening to music and smoking a joint as the sun went down. But the patio is not your only option. With legalization more and more lounges are being opened for smoking weed as cities determine where to allow them. With the growing approval of legal use, there is a high demand for marijuanaaccepted lodging. I don’t know if we’ll ever be as cool as the weed cafes in Amsterdam, but we are certainly making promising moves towards a more inclusive and expanding cannabis culture. There are even Airbnb-style rentals and events that allow marijuana smoking on their premises.

This might be the time to hit up friends who you know allow smoking in their home, but whatever you do, don’t resort to the gutters behind grocery stores like I did as a teenager. Find a space that is close to you and make it yours! C S

Got a cannabis question? Send it to Ellie at ellie@cbtsmagazine.com