mys tery Issue 13 2011
Guest Editor Sean Ripple Art Direction Sean Ripple Design Shea Cadrin MEDIA & Promotion Sean Gaulager
Contributors Lisa Kirk Bridget Collins Adreon Henry Kate Watson-Wallace Paul Cavazos Cover image Photograph by Adreon Henry Printed by American Printing and Mailing www.americanprinters.com http://vimeo.com/31005322
ASSISTANT Rebecca Marino Advisory Board John Mulvany Shea Little Sean Gaulager Debra Broz
Cantanker magazine is proudly sponsored by Big Medium, a non-profit visual arts organization. For more information visit: www.bigmedium.org
This project is funded and supported in part by the City of Austin through the Cultural Arts Division and by a grant from the Texas Commission on the Arts and an award from the National Endowment for the Arts, which believes that a great nation deserves great art.
Build teams of hyper-rational people.
Create access to consumable water not distributed by public agencies.
Paper burns well, so acquire as much paper as possible before the distribution of paper ends.
Collect objects with a high use value and store them in a safe place for later trading.
A couple weeks ago I met my friend Martha at a café near my office for lunch. She’s a tall, pretty woman, even at the age of 83. It’s not strange to say that by appearance she could be 60, but I know her real age. We meet a few times a month to share stories and she gives me excellent advice. She’s remarkably intuitive. Our last meeting was different, though. Martha seemed uncomfortable once she sat down and instead of ordering her usual drink she stood suddenly, pulled an envelope from her pocket and placed it on the table. She quickly began to leave after squeezing my shoulder and giving me a toothy smile. I asked if she was feeling all right and she flicked her hand in the air as she turned around and exited as if to say, “It’s nothing.” She takes pleasure engaging in the world at her whim, a luxury she’s earned after a lifetime working in art in New York City. She’s educated, long ago free from associating with anyone she doesn’t like and is content to act and be as she wishes at anytime. Perhaps we get along precisely because I don’t care how she behaves at all. That day was no different. Her behavior didn’t alarm me. I had trouble getting to the letter because she had sealed the entire envelope with long strips of clear tape. I recall thinking that Martha was teasing me, playing a game. I looked out the café window to see if she was standing there on the street watching me struggle to open the thing. She wasn’t there. No one was on the street. Finally, I got to it. It initially seemed like a sort of list. The note was written in her script. You need not agree.
.yletavirp ,elbissop sa elpoep ynam sa mrofnisiM
.sdeen cisab ruoy noitseuq reveN
ro recorg tsesolc eht ta boj emit t rap a teG .recorg tsesolc ruoy dneirfeb
.ylimaf ruoy raen evil ot nruter dna ecalp siht evaeL
ecalp ruoy no etartnecnoc dna noitatidem ecitcarP lacisyhp ruo taht elbissop s’ti ,ecaps lacisyhp ni .su evieced ot tes emoceb llahs sgnidnuorrus .yzarc ton era uoY
Times are dangerous amongst innocents.
.os od ,demra ton er’uoy fI tneloiv ton era snossel ognat dna sessalc etaraK .gniniart hguone .esac tsrow eht rof eraperP
ni ekirts dluohs uoy dne eht pid dna sehctam yuB neht erutsiom morf meht tcetorp ot xaw detlem .sgab foorpretaw ,elbalaes ni meht kcap
lanoitidda na htiw xobkcol a y rub dna kcaP .noitinumma ,nug
.slliks gnikcart lamina cisab nraeL
elpoep lanoitar-repyh fo smaet dliuB
rof ecnediser ruoy dnuora aera eht erolpxE elbamusnoc era hcihw yduts dna egailof elbide .suonosiop era hcihw dna
llac snopaew reporp ot ssecca evah t’nod uoy fI .mp 2 ta yadseuT txen emoh ym
.ssel sthgil ruoy esU .keew rep semit rewef rewohS .ycnedneped lacimehc pu eviG .etardyH ton retaw elbamusnoc ot ssecca etaerC .seicnega cilbup yb detubirtsid sutats evitaerc hgih htiw stcejbo yrassecennu tcelloC .gnidart retal rof ecalp efas a ni meht erots dna sa repap hcum sa eriuqca os ,llew snrub repaP .sdne repap fo noitubirtsid eht erofeb elbissop no tfi lliw tahw ot smeti y rassecen ecudeR .kcab ruoy .sselesu si lufesu ton si tahW .drah thgiF .noitpo na ton si ediciuS .dlo eb ot eviL
The answer hides in the question This is for real.
.neddih llew slatem suoicerp dna selbaulav peeK
eht fo mottob eht ta detanimret tsil ehT .noisulcnoc on htiw egap dnoces
erehw ton tub ecalp siht fo wonk uoy tahw tegroF .xobkcol eht gnipeek er’uoy erehw eloh eht gud uoy no semoh s’elpoep rehto ni gnidih ecitcarP .syadkeew .sgnidnuorrus ruoy hctam ot sroloc raeW klaw dna emityad eht gnirud gnipeels ecitcarP elbat rofmoc ,railimaf emoceb ot thgin ta dnuora .krad eht ni yawa yats thgin ta dnuora gniklaw er’uoy nehW s’ ti nehw sblub eht kaerb dna spmalteerts morf .os od ot elbissop ot elba eb ot hguone llew aera gnivil ruoy wonK .detcetednu evirra dna t raped .gniklaw rof seohs doog raeW eriw ot elba eb ot slliks lacirtcele elpmis nraeL .hcus dna syek tuohtiw krow ot sgniht ot ti esu yam uoy taht os gniraeh ruoy tcetorP .egatnavda ruoy roivaheb yksir fo tnuoma eht ecuder yletaidemmI .ni egagne uoy .lla ta fi ,ssel ylcilbup etacinummoC
Never question your basic needs.
Misinform as many people as possible, privately.
Leave this place and return to live near your family.
Get a part time job at the closest grocer or befriend your closest grocer.
Keep valuables and precious metals well hidden. If you’re not armed, do so. Karate classes and tango lessons are not violent enough training. Prepare for the worst case.
Practice meditation and concentrate on your place in physical space, it’s possible that our physical surroundings shall become set to deceive us. You are not crazy.
Pack and bury a lockbox with an additional gun, ammunition.
Buy matches and dip the end you should strike in melted wax to protect them from moisture then pack them in sealable, waterproof bags.
Build teams of hyper-rational people
Learn basic animal tracking skills.
If you don’t have access to proper weapons call my home next Tuesday at 2 pm.
Explore the area around your residence for edible foliage and study which are consumable and which are poisonous.
Forget what you know of this place but not where you dug the hole where you’re keeping the lockbox. Practice hiding in other people’s homes on weekdays. Wear colors to match your surroundings. Practice sleeping during the daytime and walk around at night to become familiar, comfortable in the dark. When you’re walking around at night stay away from streetlamps and break the bulbs when it’s possible to do so. Know your living area well enough to be able to depart and arrive undetected. Wear good shoes for walking. Learn simple electrical skills to be able to wire things to work without keys and such. Protect your hearing so that you may use it to your advantage. Immediately reduce the amount of risky behavior you engage in. Communicate publicly less, if at all.
Use your lights less. Shower fewer times per week. Give up chemical dependency. Hydrate. Create access to consumable water not distributed by public agencies. Collect unnecessary objects with high creative status and store them in a safe place for later trading. Paper burns well, so acquire as much paper as possible before the distribution of paper ends. Reduce necessary items to what will fit on your back. What is not useful is useless. Fight hard. Suicide is not an option. Live to be old.
aht raM dneirf ym tem I oga skeew elpuoc A ,llat a s’ehS .hcnul rof ecfifo ym raen éfac a ta ton s’ tI .38 fo ega eht ta neve ,namow ytterp dluoc ehs ecnaraeppa yb taht yas ot egnarts wef a teem eW .ega laer reh wonk I tub ,06 eb sevig ehs dna seirots erahs ot htnom a semit .evitiutni ylbakramer s’ehS .ecivda tnellecxe em aht raM .hguoht ,tneref fid saw gniteem tsal ruO dna nwod tas ehs ecno elbat rofmocnu demees doots ehs knird lausu reh gniredro fo daetsni tekcop reh morf epolevne na dellup ,ylneddus ot nageb ylkciuq ehS .elbat eht no ti decalp dna em gnivig dna redluohs ym gnizeeuqs ret fa evael thgir lla gnileef saw ehs fi deksa I .elims yhtoot a denrut ehs sa ria eht ni dnah reh dekcifl ehs dna ”.gnihton s’ tI“ ,yas ot fi sa detixe dna dnuora ta dlrow eht ni gnigagne erusaelp sekat ehS emitefil a ret fa denrae s’ehs y ruxul a ,mihw reh ,detacude s’ehS .ytiC kroY weN ni t ra ni gnikrow ehs enoyna htiw gnitaicossa morf eerf oga gnol ehs sa eb dna tca ot tnetnoc si dna ekil t’nseod ylesicerp gnola teg ew spahreP .emityna ta sehsiw tahT .lla ta sevaheb ehs woh erac t’nod I esuaceb mrala t’ndid roivaheb reH .tneref fid on saw yad .em ehs esuaceb rettel eht ot gnitteg elbuort dah I spirts gnol htiw epolevne eritne eht delaes dah saw aht raM taht gnikniht llacer I .epat raelc fo éfac eht tuo dekool I .emag a gniyalp ,em gnisaet eht no ereht gnidnats saw ehs fi ees ot wodniw ehS .gniht eht nepo ot elggurts em gnihctaw teerts .teerts eht no saw eno oN .ereht t’nsaw t ros a ekil demees yllaitini tI .ti ot tog I ,yllaniF .tpircs reh ni nettirw saw eton ehT .tsil fo .eerga ton deen uoY noitseuq eht ni sedih rewsna ehT
The list terminated at the bottom of the second page with no conclusion.
.laer rof si sihT .stneconni tsgnoma suoregnad era semiT
I rang her home the following Tuesday at 2 pm thinking she might reveal to me the purpose of the note. No answer. I tried again several times but her telephone line was busy for the following 2 days. I called back later in the week only to get her answering machine. Another letter prepared in the same manner arrived to my home, but I never had the chance to read it. Unopened, folded, the contents of Martha’s letter read: Life is shared attention and emotion. Human beings find statistical evidence from devices. Detectable changes occur in the attentions and emotions of people driven by structure, data. The bottom line shows evidence that the physical world is possible. Design complete public access to data the result of freedom or degrees of freedom. Events identify the question. Periods of collective attention or emotion in populations will correlate in physical precedents. The events and their timing are valid for further analysis. The result of design is the cumulative deviation of the data. I placed the letter with the rest of my mail and forgot about it. Before I had a chance to read the second letter I quickly had to leave on an unexpected business trip for a few days. I was upset to have to leave so quickly because I had planned to have a party at my place with some friends and spend time with a cousin from out of town. Although I was no longer to be in town, I still let my friends and cousin use my place. My friends celebrated a birthday for a former
lover there. As I suspected, once I returned, the place was a wreck. It smelled of stale beer and cigarettes. As a tease of some sort, I began to find Polaroids stuck in awkward places like under my bathroom sink. The photographs were shot in low light perhaps clandestinely and reveal discarded clothing, female and male genitalia, parts of bodies mostly unrecognizable. Perhaps a photo looks familiar. I can’t be certain, and I’ve asked no one. I boxed the pictures up and stored them under my bed. Another negative outcome was that I found Martha’s mailed letter submerged in dirty water at the bottom of the kitchen sink under unwashed dishes. I dried the letter as best as I could. Despite being taped shut the ink was washed out almost entirely. The only words remaining were the first words and the final few words on the page resulting in, “Life is the cumulative deviation of the data.” I rang Martha’s home immediately upon opening the letter to ask her if she had another copy or could explain the note a bit more to me. No answer. Yesterday, I moved all the mail out of the kitchen. I’m still finding photographs inside books on my shelf and amongst my clothing, inside jacket pockets and drawers. I can’t tell how many may remain. The party as I’ve seen it documented must’ve been sexy. My friends have said to me in various ways that they had the time of their lives and hated that I couldn’t attend. I haven’t spoken to my cousin yet, but he was kind enough to leave me a written note, which he posted on my refrigerator.
.esuoh ecin ruoy kcuF .uoy kcuF ?nisuoC ,pu tahW kcuF .nwot siht kcuF .sdneirf toh ruoy lla kcuF ssa ecin ruoy fo riap a elots I .sehtolc ecin ruoy doog eht lla knard ohw eno eht m’I dna snaej ruoy dekcuf I .esuoh ruoy tuo aliuqet nmad-tog esuaceb luferac eb dna deb ruoy ni dneirflrig-xe saw tahT .uoy knahT .ekorb si deb ruoy kniht I f fo deppord kcihc dlo laer emoS .emit ssa nuf a eht ni tihs taht tup I .enog erew uoy elihw xob a laer emos otni eb tsum uoY .tesolc ruoy fo kcab .tihs pu dekcuf ,evoL odnaloR .regnfi elddim sih fo dioraloP a dehcatta eH tesolc ym fo kcab eht ni dnuof I xob ehT ecni S .llew ti dih odnaloR .dekcol ,dlo etiuq saw a htiw nepo xobkcol eht deirp I yek on saw ereht dnuof I .krow emos koot tI .revirdwercs daehtafl xob a dna ,dedaolnu ,htolclio ni depparw nug a deniats ,dlo na saw nug eht rednU .noitinumma fo tI .xob eht fo mottob eht ot depat ,dedlof-irt rettel eht koot I .enomiS degnis ,hcnerF ni nettirw saw ehT .ybraen sevil taht siraP morf dneirf a ot rettel etamitni na s’ ti em dlot eH .0691 detad si rettel .enomiS deman namow a morf aht raM ot rettel dna ytirohtua fo enot a sah enomiS rettel eht nI dnoyeb evil ot si ehs fi taht aht raM snoituac tahw rof eraperp dluohs ehs taht 08 fo ega eht ehT .raw redneg tuo-lla na sa ot srefer enomiS ekat“ ,ekil gnihtemos ot setalsnart eton eht fo dne deb ni eil dna smra dna srevol regnuoy ruoy pu .tiaw dna ”.su neewteb ecnatsid on si erehT depat epolevne na ni devirra yek a yadretseY .desolcne saw eton oN .rennam emas eht ni
What up, Cousin? Fuck you. Fuck your nice house. Fuck all your hot friends. Fuck this town. Fuck your nice clothes. I stole a pair of your nice ass jeans and I’m the one who drank all the good got-damn tequila out your house. I fucked your ex-girlfriend in your bed and be careful because I think your bed is broke. Thank you. That was a fun ass time. Some real old chick dropped off a box while you were gone. I put that shit in the back of your closet. You must be into some real fucked up shit. Love, Rolando He attached a Polaroid of his middle finger. The box I found in the back of my closet was quite old, locked. Rolando hid it well. Since there was no key I pried the lockbox open with a flathead screwdriver. It took some work. I found a gun wrapped in oilcloth, unloaded, and a box of ammunition. Under the gun was an old, stained letter tri-folded, taped to the bottom of the box. It was written in French, singed Simone. I took the letter to a friend from Paris that lives nearby. The letter is dated 1960. He told me it’s an intimate letter to Martha from a woman named Simone. In the letter Simone has a tone of authority and cautions Martha that if she is to live beyond the age of 80 that she should prepare for what Simone refers to as an all-out gender war. The end of the note translates to something like, “take up your younger lovers and arms and lie in bed and wait. There is no distance between us.” Yesterday a key arrived in an envelope taped in the same manner. No note was enclosed.
eht ,denruter I ecno ,detcepsus I sA .ereht revol dna reeb elats fo dellems tI .kcerw a saw ecalp ot nageb I ,t ros emos fo esaet a sA .setteragic rednu ekil secalp drawkwa ni kcuts sdioraloP dnfi tohs erew shpargotohp ehT .knis moorhtab ym laever dna ylenitsednalc spahrep thgil wol ni ,ailatineg elam dna elamef ,gnihtolc dedracsid spahreP .elbazingocernu yltsom seidob fo st rap dna ,niat rec eb t’nac I .railimaf skool otohp a dna pu serutcip eht dexob I .eno on deksa ev’I evitagen rehtonA .deb ym rednu meht derots rettel deliam s’aht raM dnuof I taht saw emoctuo eht fo mottob eht ta retaw yt rid ni degrembus eht deird I .sehsid dehsawnu rednu knis nehctik tuhs depat gnieb etipseD .dluoc I sa tseb sa rettel ylno ehT .yleritne tsomla tuo dehsaw saw kni eht lanfi eht dna sdrow tsrfi eht erew gniniamer sdrow eht si efiL“ ,ni gnitluser egap eht no sdrow wef ”.atad eht fo noitaived evitalumuc nopu yletaidemmi emoh s’aht raM gnar I rehtona dah ehs fi reh ksa ot rettel eht gninepo .em ot erom tib a eton eht nialpxe dluoc ro ypoc fo tuo liam eht lla devom I ,yadretseY .rewsna oN .nehctik eht no skoob edisni shpargotohp gnidnfi llits m’I tekcaj edisni ,gnihtolc ym tsgnoma dna flehs ym yam ynam woh llet t’nac I .sreward dna stekcop detnemucod ti nees ev’I sa yt rap ehT .niamer em ot dias evah sdneirf yM .yxes neeb ev’ tsum rieht fo emit eht dah yeht taht syaw suoirav ni t’nevah I .dnetta t’ndluoc I taht detah dna sevil hguone dnik saw eh tub ,tey nisuoc ym ot nekops ym no detsop eh hcihw ,eton nettirw a em evael ot .rotaregirfer
2 ta yadseuT gniwollof eht emoh reh gnar I fo esoprup eht em ot laever thgim ehs gnikniht mp semit lareves niaga deirt I .rewsna oN .eton eht gniwollof eht rof ysub saw enil enohpelet reh tub teg ot ylno keew eht ni retal kcab dellac I .syad 2 deraperp rettel rehtonA .enihcam gnirewsna reh I tub ,emoh ym ot devirra rennam emas eht ni .ti daer ot ecnahc eht dah reven s’aht raM fo stnetnoc eht ,dedlof ,deneponU :daer rettel .noitome dna noitnetta derahs si efiL .secived morf ecnedive lacitsitats dnfi sgnieb namuH dna snoitnetta eht ni rucco segnahc elbatceteD .atad ,erutcurts yb nevird elpoep fo snoitome lacisyhp eht taht ecnedive swohs enil mottob ehT .elbissop si dlrow tluser eht atad ot ssecca cilbup etelpmoc ngiseD .modeerf fo seerged ro modeerf fo .noitseuq eht yfitnedi stnevE ni noitome ro noitnetta evitcelloc fo sdoireP .stnedecerp lacisyhp ni etalerroc lliw snoitalupop rof dilav era gnimit rieht dna stneve ehT .sisylana reht ruf fo noitaived evitalumuc eht si ngised fo tluser ehT .atad eht liam ym fo tser eht htiw rettel eht decalp I ot ecnahc a dah I erofeB .ti tuoba togrof dna no evael ot dah ylkciuq I rettel dnoces eht daer saw I .syad wef a rof pirt ssenisub detcepxenu na dah I esuaceb ylkciuq os evael ot evah ot tespu emos htiw ecalp ym ta yt rap a evah ot dennalp fo tuo morf nisuoc a htiw emit dneps dna sdneirf ,nwot ni eb ot regnol on saw I hguohtlA .nwot .ecalp ym esu nisuoc dna sdneirf ym tel llits I remrof a rof yadht rib a detarbelec sdneirf yM