Capilano Courier | Vol. 49.5, Issue 1. by Capilano Courier

VOLUME 49.5 ISSUE 01

BLUES SOCCER

SAFE CINEMA

A look at the Capilano University men's and women's soccer teams as they head into a new season.

Why Hollywood has been playing it safe by rebooting old classics instead of taking risks on the unknown.

SEPTEMBER 12 - 18 | 2016

AN EDUCATION MADE IN CHINA

CONTENTS

Cover Art

News

Campus Life

Sports

Arts & Culture

Opinions

Columns

Humour

ANNIE CHANG

YOUR GUIDE TO VANCOUVER FRINGE FEST

THE STAFF Andy Rice EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

editor@capilanocourier.com Carlo Javier MANAGING EDITOR

carlo.capcourier@gmail.com

KOLSTEE 1-ON-1: MEET YOUR NEW CSU PRESIDENT

WHY APOLOGIES TODAY ARE LACKING SINCERITY

A LOOK AT THIS WEEK'S BACK-TO-SCHOOL CARNIVAL

SIP, SIP HURRAY! HOT DOGS & RED WINE

COLUMNISTS

NEWS EDITOR

Jessica Lio OPINIONS EDITOR

opinions.capcourier@gmail.com Gabriel Scorgie

Marissa Del Mistro Your favourite voice of reason is back, and this time, she’ll be a voice for the people and organizations making Vancouver the best Vancouver it can be. Titled “Reign Vancouver,” this column strives to inspire and challenge the meaning of happiness, community and inclusiveness with each individual interview.

ARTS & CULTURE EDITOR

Christine Beyleveldt CAMPUS LIFE EDITOR

reporter.capcourier@gmail.com

VOLUME 49.5 ISSUE NO. 01

Megan Collinson ART

Fred Ulrich Jr. The irrepressibly bitter Fred Ulrich Jr. is back to spread even more of his angry, old-man observations. This time, he’ll be talking about all the crap he’s had to put up with from his wealth of experience travelling the world. This man has racked up his Air Miles, and that might be the only joy he’s gotten out of travelling.

Pamella Pinard ART

Angela Martinez ART

Taylor Lee ART

Juliana Vieira Leah Scheitel Leah Scheitel understands your pain and frustrations. School can be tough and life can be even harder. So the ever-gracious Scheitel has dedicated her time to searching the Internet for the saddest and most laughably terrible events, all for the purpose of reminding you that no matter what’s happening right now, someone out there is always having a worst time than you.

ART

Scott Barkemeyer PHOTOS

Graeme Findlay WORDS

Cristian Fowlie

Leah Scheitel

ART DIRECTOR

WORDS

artdirector.capcourier@gmail.com

THE CAPILANO COURIER

COVER ART

ART

specialfeatures.capcourier@gmail.com

arts.capcourier@gmail.com

Annie Chang

Kyle Papilla

FEATURES EDITOR

POSITION AVAILABLE!

BUS CHICKEN

CONTRIBUTORS

Kevin Kapenda news@capilanocourier.com

BLUES MEN'S & WOMEN'S SOCCER PREVIEW

Syd Danger LAYOUT DESIGNER

pm.capcourier@gmail.com Noah Penner

Max Ley More wine! One of last year’s most popular columns is back to expand your wine pairing horizons. As always, Max Ley will be keeping his choices to a student-friendly budget, making the pairings ideal for your pre- and post-exam drinking sessions. Bonus: this year, Max will also be touching on the world of beer and cocktail pairings.

MULTIMEDIA EDITOR

multimedia.capcourier@gmail.com Therese Guieb COMMUNITY RELATIONS MANAGER

community.capcourier@gmail.com Tianyi Bao BUSINESS MANAGER

Lars Henrik Ahlstrom If you like the psychologically-provoking ways of Mr. Robot and the subtle social commentary of Woody Allen, then Lars Henrk Ahlstrom is your man. He’ll be taking you on a deep dive into the grim politics surrounding the educational system and hopefully, by the end, we’ll all come out feeling a little optimistic – or inspired.

businessmanager.capcourier@gmail.com Brandon Kostinuk WEB COORDINATOR

web.capcourier@gmail.com

THE CAPILANO COURIER is an autonomous, democratically-run student newspaper. Literary and visual submissions are welcomed. All submissions are subject to editing for brevity, taste and legality. The Capilano Courier will not publish material deemed by the collective to exhibit sexism, racism or homophobia. The views expressed by the contributing writers are not necessarily those of the Capilano Courier Publishing Society.

EDITOR'S DESK

PUTTING ON YOUR GROWN-UP PANTS Andy Rice EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

just have to start to adult, start doing things like paying bills on time, start saving so you can do stuff other than travel around the world.” That’s exactly where I’m at. I spent my entire childhood wishing I was an adult, not realizing even for a second the responsibility that comes with age. Six-year-old me wanted to drive a fancy car, but never once thought about the stress of rush hour or the legalities of insurance claims. Nine-year-old me always wanted to push the grocery cart around the store, but would inevitably disappear when it came time to take out this mythical thing called a credit card. Twelve-year old me was begging the universe for a beard, but never imagined what it would feel like to get bludgeoned by puberty on opening night of the school musical. Until it happened, on stage, during a long, sustained high note. (I paid handsomely for my beard, let me tell you!) In the hour I spent lurking at Staples last week, I saw hundreds of kids who were perfectly oblivious to the responsibilities that lay ahead of them this year, or this decade, or this lifetime. But regardless of our age, I think there’s always a pair of ‘grownup pants’ that’s been made to fit us at that particular stage of our life. And whether or not we actually try them on in the fitting room or throw them in the basket alongside the rest of our back-toschool purchases, they’re there. It’s that invisible part of growing up that grows right along with us. But the difference is that when we get older, not only do we have to wear our grown-up pants, we have to pay for them with our own money. Happy adulting!

THE VOICEBOX with Carlo Javier

When’s the pizza party? Why do we always have to give the pizza around here?

What did you guys do over the summer? Not much. You?

What do you think about that new coffee shop?

THE CAPILANO COURIER

Haven’t tried it yet! But I heard some rumour about a $6 cold brew so idk.

How can I contribute to the Courier? Our first contributor meeting will be on Sept. 20 at noon. It’ll be at Maple 122, which is right beside the dumpster by the CSU Maple Lounge. The dumpster is where the trash goes but don’t associate us with that. If you’d like to be added to our mailing list, send your info to community.capcourier@gmail.com. The Voicebox is back! If you have any questions, concerns or any other bitchin’ to do, text it over to our boy Carlo at 778-865-2649. “Please text me,” he says. “No one else does.”

VOLUME 49.5 ISSUE NO. 01

I found myself wandering around Staples the other day in an attempt to soak up a little back-to-school spirit. It’s the same reason I go to the mall around Christmas time or listen to death metal whenever I’m stuck on the toilet: sometimes you just need some extra inspiration. To be honest, I haven’t really been looking forward to the arrival of September. The freedom of having four months off is a hard thing to give up, and even scarier is the fact that I’m probably down to my final year of being able to plan my life around the school calendar. Yes, the real world is waiting for me. In fact, it’s waiting right outside the Courier office while I type this. As much as the Canada Revenue Agency likes to consider this a real job, it’s reasonable to say that I’m not going to spend the rest of my life in Maple 122 making newspapers until my staff is somehow younger than my own children. I have no doubt that I could work happily as a writer or editor for the rest of my life, but I can’t do it here. Some of you are likely beginning a new chapter of your life at Capilano University this September. Others may be at the halfway point of their studies. But me, I’m at the end of the road. My own post-secondary journey is coming to an end and adulthood is calling my name. How do I know it’s calling? Well, for starters, those bastards from MSP finally found out where I live and started sending me invoices for medical coverage. Then, my investment advisor called me into his office to give me “the talk” about saving for retirement. And of course there are the little things — the fact that I can’t seem to pull all-nighters like I used to, or that hangovers seem to hurt a lot more now, or that I’d rather spend my Saturday nights watching Seinfeld reruns on the couch than hop-scotching my way through puke puddles on the Granville Strip. You know you’ve grown up when. One of the articles in our Arts & Culture section this week is about Vancouver Fringe Festival, which features a local production called How to Adult: The Musical. When I was interviewing the actors about their roles and getting a rundown of the show’s synopsis, the things they were saying hit really close to home. Almost too close. “It explores the life of four 20-somethings who are for the most part just fresh out of college within two or three years and there is that adjustment period where you realize that you can’t be a kid anymore,” explained Aaron Lau, who plays the role of Graham. “I think it’s something that we in this day and age try to avoid doing. We all try to act as young as we can but there comes a point where you

NEWS

FROM THE DRAWING BOARD TO THE STUDIO Jamaican students win scholarship to study animation at CapU Christine Beyleveldt CAMPUS LIFE EDITOR

The KingstOOn animation festival, a joint initiative between the Jamaican government and the World Bank, was first held in Jamaica in 2013. Originally a competition for Jamaican

CARSHARE COMPANIES SWAP SEATS AT CAPU AFTER PARKING CHANGES Evo fills void left by Car2go Andy Rice

THE CAPILANO COURIER

VOLUME 49.5 ISSUE NO. 01

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Car2go, car2going, car2gone. That was the situation at Capilano University’s North Vancouver campus this summer when the popular car share company vacated the premises. “Recently, the university made some changes to our parking agreement and that prompted us to take a closer look at our offering on campus,” stated car2go in an email sent to customers on Aug. 2. “Our data showed that car2gos parked

animators, the festival was held again in 2016, sponsored in part by Capilano University and opened internationally. Approximately 90 countries participated this year, including two winners from Jamaica, JoWayne MacFarlane and George Hay. Hay won first prize for character design, while MacFarlane won for concept design. Both students were then shortlisted and selected by CapU to further their studies. “They had over 900 entries and they narrowed it down to us,” said MacFarlane. “We had to submit our portfolios online and then Capilano selected [us].” MacFarlane and Hay received sponsorship to study animation fundamentals at CapU during the summer, an experience they agree has

broadened their horizons. “I did a concept for an animated show, this short online series that I plan to put on YouTube. But I’d rather develop that myself because I don’t want to be rushed to do it, and that’s what I submitted – the character turnarounds and the synopsis of the story and the whole layout of it,” described MacFarlane. As a self-taught animator, her biggest challenge this summer has been learning to manage deadlines. “It’s a dramatic change in a sense where I am used to taking my time on artwork versus being prepared to match the industry standard of producing stuff in a week or in a day,” she said. “In my case it was the character design. You come up with a concept for a character and you do the back-story and you know supporting cast members for the story, so I mean my character was Obadiah and the Jade Crystal,” explained Hay. Both MacFarlane and Hay relate to being out of their comfort zones in the Bosa Centre’s top-notch animation program. “I’ve only really dabbled in animation,” said Hay. “I know the concepts, so to be professionally taught, for me it’s like a whole new learning experience.” “The thing is with animation there are quite a few different programs that you can use for animation, and different schools and different students specialize in different programs,” explained Hay. An animation network may be aligned with particular software, so the

challenge for animators is to be familiar with as many animation programs as they can to broaden their career prospects. “In Jamaica they’re trying to teach you in a sense of ‘if you don’t know the program, you can’t animate,’ but when you come here it’s about the principles and not necessarily the programs,” added MacFarlane. “The whole course is just helping me understand a lot more,” she said, and for that reason she is considering applying to come back to CapU next year to continue in the animation program. Hay received membership to the Jamaica Animation Nation Network (JANN) after participating in the KingstOOn festival. JANN hosts several seminars and animation workshops, and Hay intends to pass on what he has learned from his time at CapU to aspiring animators after completing the summer-long semester. In turn, two CapU animation instructors, Don Perro and Adam Sale, journeyed to Jamaica to teach animation. Perro and Sale were first invited to Jamaica in 2013 after the first KingstOOn competition to impart their knowledge on animation students. In 2015 they were invited back to teach Jamaican animation instructors how to effectively teach the art of animation, and again this year when Hay and MacFarlane arrived at CapU. Canadian and Jamaican animators operate differently, but can teach one another how to animate with more skill, precision and fundamental knowledge than they could on their own.

at Capilano University sit idle five times longer than the rest of our vehicles in the Vancouver home area. This makes vehicles parked there unavailable to the rest of Vancouver’s over 118,000 members.” Car2go is known for its careful analytics and the company hasn’t shied away from redrawing the boundaries of its home areas in the past. Last January, the far-west side of North Vancouver was scaled back significantly while the city of Richmond was discontinued altogether. CapU became the latest casualty on Aug. 12. According to Sandeep Narwal, site supervisor for WestPark Parking Services at CapU, car2go customers can still effectively park their vehicle in any available spot on campus, but will now pay regular posted parking rates while the car’s meter runs. The nearest places to end a trip are now located along Mountain Highway, near Phibbs Exchange, and the Park and Tilford area, both a 30-minute walk from campus.

However, all is not lost for carshare enthusiasts. As the old saying goes, when one car door closes another opens. Before car2go had even fully removed its vehicles and signage, its Vancouver-based competitor, Evo Car Share, began moving in. In August, the BCAA-owned company announced plans to triple its fleet of fourdoor Hybrid Toyota Priuses, to a total of 750. The move also included an extension of service into student-concentrated areas like CapU, SFU and BCIT. Since August 1, customers have been able to start and end trips on campus using an app-based interface similar to that of car2go’s. “North Van residents and students have been asking for Evo since we first launched so it’s a great feeling to bring Evo to the City of North Vancouver and CapU,” said Tai Silvey, Evo’s director of car sharing. “As a local company, Evo is designed for life in British Columbia. North Vancouver, including CapU, encapsulates the BC lifestyle and is a wonderful example of a city and school offering creative transport solutions for

travel within the area and throughout the Lower Mainland.” For students who had found limitations with the two-passenger Mercedes Smart model previously offered by car2go, Evo’s Prius fleet will be a welcome sight. The cars boast five seats, additional cargo space, as well as bike and ski racks. Rates, excluding taxes, are $0.41/minute, $14.99/hour and $89.99/day. The parking arrangement on campus remains roughly the same as it was during the car2go era. “They have four reserved stalls in Lot 1 [below Birch] and eight reserved stalls in Lot 3 [beside the Bosa Centre],” said Narwal. Lot 3 will serve as an overflow lot in all areas except those marked for employees and Evo will pay separately for the overflow number of cars on daily basis. Any drivers parked outside of Lot 3 and designated stalls in Lot 1 will be required to pay for parking, otherwise a violation notice will be issued. For more information in Evo at CapU or how to locate a car on campus, visit evo.ca.

@CAPILANOCOURIER

/CAPILANOCOURIER

NEW YEAR, NEW CSU PRESIDENT Jullian Kolstee ready to serve students through CapU’s administrative transition Kevin Kapenda NEWS EDITOR

For a third consecutive year, students will return to Capilano University with a new Capilano Students’ Union (CSU) president. Taking the reins this year is Jullian Kolstee, who was elected to the position in July. Kolstee will also serve as Vice President of University Relations during the 2016-17 year, after a two-year stint as Accessibility Justice Coordinator. CSU PRESIDENT While some people assume that the CSU president is a very powerful role within the organization, Kolstee views the position as more collaborative and representative. “I see the CSU governance structure as an upside-down triangle, where I’m at the very bottom of triangle,” said Kolstee. “To me, the board serves the membership, the executive committee serves the board, and the president serves the executive committee. My role as president is really about service. Everything the board wants to do, I do too, because I ultimately serve them.” According to Kolstee, some of his key priorities as president are to increase CapU’s sense of community, and review the CSU’s vision for the future. “A lot of the changes I’d like to propose are actually internal to the CSU,” said Kolstee. “[As a student union], we should be constantly striving to improve the service and advocacy we provide our members and looking to better the organization.” Kolstee is also excited to help review the organization’s five-year strategic plan, which came into effect in 2014. “There were a lot of things that [the board] wasn’t satisfied with in that first plan, so the executive team last year started the [review] process and we are continuing it,” said Kolstee. “As president, I am very proud that

CSU discusses membership in national student association in August board meeting

NEWS EDITOR

During the Capilano Students’ Union (CSU) board of directors meeting held on Aug. 19, CSU directors passed a motion to begin the process of seeking membership in The Canadian Alliance

of Student Associations (CASA), as just one of many proposals students will surely hear more of in the coming weeks and months. The CSU external relations committee, chaired by vice president Sachy Fabry, has been tasked with drafting a referendum question on the fees associated with CASA membership, which would then be presented to the student body. The vote on whether to join CASA would most likely run concurrently with the CSU elections in spring 2017. CSU vice president of student life Beatriz Miralles had a motion passed to release $2,050 in union funds to facilitate the hosting of Disorientation, a welcome back event for CapU students.

Also passed at the CSU meeting was a motion put forth by CSU vice president of external relations, Sacha Fabry regarding a housing campaign for students. This motion requested that $1,825 be put towards the housingthemed campaign which is expected to be discussed further at the next CSU meeting.

BACKGROUND Kolstee, 25, is a fourth-year communications student from North Vancouver. Outside of school, he dedicates much of his time to community affairs, and working with youth as an improvisation teacher. For Kolstee, his background in community service is what encouraged him to participate and eventually run for CSU directorship. For Kolstee, attending university, yet alone being elected CSU president, was not really in the plan. “In high school I didn’t care much about my grades. In many ways, I was sort of self-sabotaging myself as a teen. I didn’t feel that university was something I could do,”

said Kolstee. “Going to school wasn’t really on my radar until around 2011, when it got to a point where teacher job-action was going and I realized that [teaching drama] is not really something I can keep getting away with or getting by on. I finally came to the realization that I needed an education.” To complicate matters, Kolstee was diagnosed with dyslexia as a teen, increasing his doubts about whether or not he could succeed in university. “In the eighth grade, I got designated both gifted and special needs, which was at that time kind of new,” described Kolstee. “Ninety-eight per cent of the population reads faster than I do, yet somehow I became CSU president and receive decent grades.” Kolstee credits his success to the community members and support staff who helped make his transition to CapU enjoyable. Kolstee, who will graduate in April of 2017, is confident that no matter what he chooses to do as a career, public service will be a part of his life for many years. “The work I do in the community with youth and the underprivileged is what I feel is my most important me,” explained Kolstee. “The reason why I feel I have something to give to society because I feel I’m making a difference in the community. Whether it’s working with youth, those who are underprivileged or the students with disabilities I spent the last two years with, I consider that to be very noble work.”

the public, the length and technicality of those documents don’t always make them easy to understand. Therefore, CSU membership outreach coordinator John Morrison and meeting assistant Sera Kasicki will team up during the year to produce “Board Shorts”, which involves translating dense and technical board minutes into more casual passages.

BOARD SHORTS In his report to the CSU board, General Manager Chris Girodat highlighted the need to make CSU records more accessible. Girodat mentioned that while all of the CSU’s proceedings, including meeting agendas and minutes, are available to members (students) and

The next CSU board meeting will take place on Friday, Sept. 23.

VOLUME 49.5 ISSUE NO. 01

Kevin Kapenda

be CSU president at time where there has been so much change to the school’s administration. As VP of university relations, Kolstee is eager to begin working work with the different new faces that will take up posts in the Arbutus building this fall. “In terms of my VP of university relations portfolio, I’m really excited about having a new president, a bunch of new deans and a ton of other new people in the administration,” said Kolstee. “During my term, I’ll be tasked with developing those first relationships between [the administration] and CSU, particularly with the president. I feel very lucky to be president when CapU has a new president and I really want to start that relationship off on the right foot.”

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WHAT’S NEW WITH THE CSU

we have that opportunity, because not every board has the chance to review its strategic plan, which is a legacy for future [directors].” For Kolstee, building a greater sense of community on campus is hard to do when schools lack housing. However, he still views community building as a challenge the CSU and university administration must address despite the various obstacles in their way. “Let’s not kid ourselves. Everybody knows that there’s a lack of community at Cap,” said Kolstee. “Most of that probably boils down to the fact that we don’t have housing on campus.” Without student housing, Kolstee argues that it becomes much harder to develop a sense of community at CapU. “Nobody lives on campus, so we don’t have the infrastructure to support community at Cap, like a campus pub and other amenities on campus,” said Kolstee. Getting people to feel closer to CapU is also challenging in the eyes of Kolstee because of the school’s rich history as a college. “There’s also the longstanding perceived notion that we are a commuter school or transfer school where people do their two years then head over to SFU,” explained Kolstee. “That can lead to a combination of people being uninvested in CapU or unwilling to lay down roots at the university.” While trying to foster a greater sense of community at CapU may be his hardest objective, Kolstee is excited to

CAMPUS LIFE

CSU TO HOST LARGEST BACK TO SCHOOL EVENT IN CAPU HISTORY Carnival to pop up in Cedar courtyard on Sept. 13 Christine Beyleveldt CAMPUS LIFE EDITOR

Capilano Students’ Union (CSU) is bringing back its annual Welcome Week festivities to provide students, both old and new, an exciting series of events before they settle into the grind of school. This year’s Welcome Back expands from the usual barbecue format and will feature a host of events that will be anchored by a carnival on Sept. 13. The week's festivities will commence with a free magic show in the Blueshore Centre, followed by a carnival-themed afternoon of activities and ending with Disorientation, a night out at Library Square. “CUSP (Capilano University Street Party) is getting bigger and bigger and bigger because there are more students applying, it’s like orientation. So that’s the thing that we’re trying to do, every year it’s getting a little bigger until we can have a Frosh week. Besides, since we are doing the student housing campaign we are going to have students living on campus so we want to have events that might improve the living situation of students,” commented Beatriz Miralles, vice president of student life. Early in 2016, former vice president of external relations, Taylor Wilson, began a campaign to approach the municipal government for funding for student residences at CapU. According to Miralles, the campaign has gained momentum over the summer with many more student initiatives joining the petition for housing.

SEPTEMBER 12 On Monday, Sept. 12, renowned mentalist and hypnotist, Spidey, will perform in the Blueshore Centre from 11:30 am to 1 pm. Students are encouraged to arrive 10 minutes prior to the performance.

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VOLUME 49.5 ISSUE NO. 01

CROSSED PATHS Two Syrian students find each other at CapU Christine Beyleveldt CAMPUS LIFE EDITOR

It’s a small world after all. From war torn Syria to Capilano University, two students travelled around the globe and met each other at the CapU Street Party (CUSP) on Sept. 6. Visual Animation student Khaled Akkad and Human Kinetics student Razan Alhalabi met in the Birch courtyard at CUSP. Alhalabi arrived in Vancouver in 2010 and Akkad came on a student visa in Sept. 2015. When

— JULIANA VIEIRA

“Many people think [Spidey is] not going to be that popular, but I do believe that we need to start incorporating more students who are not that outgoing or don’t feel comfortable going into crowded places,” said Miralles. “Welcome Back Carnival is a crowded place. Disorientation is a crowded place so, for example, Spidey might be a safer environment for students who don’t like a crowded place so we can start targeting all the student bodies. We have different events so everyone is comfortable.”

However, Welcome Back traditionally is a place to learn about the clubs and collectives run by the CSU.

“Welcome Back always felt lacking in something,” Miralles explained. “[Welcome Back] has always been something that the CSU does.” Instead of opting for the traditional barbecue, Welcome Back 2016 will have a carnival theme featuring a two-lane bungee run, a snowboard simulator and Dance Dance Revolution at the Cedar Courtyard. A beer garden and mechanical bull will

be operating in the CSU Maple Lounge from 12:30 pm to 3:30 pm. The Carnival is going to be more expensive than any other Welcome Back event because of the scale, and also a challenge to pull off because the CSU’s events budget has been reduced. Sponsors including Chartwells, Capilano University and the Narrows Pub, are helping to cover the event and Disorientation. The Narrows Pub will also be the venue of the after party, commencing at 4 pm after the conclusion of Welcome Back. Two shuttle busses will transport students from the University to the pub, ensure that no one will be tempted to drive under the influence. ICBC will also be present with a booth and drinking goggles to inform students of the risks of intoxicated driving. “Mostly what I’m trying to empower are student organizations, especially clubs, anything that is run by students,” said Miralles. CUSP is a place for new students to get to know the different services and faculty at the University.

they discovered their commonality, they were overjoyed. “When he told me he got a student visa I was so happy and I was proud of him,” said Alhalabi. “I’ve been here since 2010 and I always get this question from my friend in Syria, ‘how [can we] get a student visa to Canada’ because it’s impossible to get a student visa.” “Ninety-five per cent of cases get disapproved,” Akkad added. “I was super lucky. When I applied there were 50 other people and I was the only one who got accepted. When I applied I guess it was still Harper’s time but people are still treating Syrians very badly.” Between Nov. 2015 and Feb. 2016 more than 25,000 refugees were resettled in populous communities throughout Canada, 1,700 of those came to British Columbia.

“I know so many people like Khaled in Syria who are very qualified, but unfortunately these people will stay in Syria and the ones who come here are the refugees,” said Alhalabi. “They have a very bad situation, but most of them when they come here don’t have any qualification. They don’t speak English, they go through hardships to start, but people who are really qualified like Khaled are in Syria and they can’t get out of Syria.” The majority of refugees who arrived in Canada came with just the clothes on their backs, ready to begin life anew. Akkad has integrated himself into the CapU community with ease, and feels encouraged to pursue his education. “I’m thankful for any place I can go to pursue my goals,” explained Akkad. The conflict in Syria began in 2013

and has showed no signs of abating. Akkad believes the situation will only get worse, and could take several years to resolve. In a world torn apart by catastrophe, two students were reunited on the other side of the world.

SEPTEMBER 13

SEPTEMBER 16 Concluding every new student orientation is Disorientation at the Library Square. “Disorientation is going to be fun, it’s going to be from 7:30 pm to 10:30 pm just for Capilano students,” Miralles remarked. Entrance is $10 and a raffle organized by The Hive is offering Capilano Suspension Bridge passes, Drake tickets and other prizes. “For Disorientation we’re getting half of it sponsored by Donnelly Group and The Hive itself,” said Miralles. “This year we’re starting to build a sponsorship letter so one of my goals this year is to have a sponsorship package by the end of the year.” This will be largely dependent on student turnout, and the success of the event will set the precedent for campus activities throughout the year.

How’d your summer go?

We asked and you told us. Watch the video online at CapilanoCourier.com!

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PHOTOS: CAPILANO UNIVERSITY STREET PARTY 2016 Tuesday, Sept. 6 marked the official kickoff to the fall semester, with food trucks, free swag, and a host of frosh activities taking over the entire campus.

â&#x20AC;&#x201D; PHOTOS BY ANDY RICE AND SCOTT BARKEMEYER

THE CAPILANO COURIER VOLUME 49.5 ISSUE NO. 01

SPORTS

MEN’S SOCCER PREVIEW Blues look to start strong and avenge last season’s heartbreaking finish Carlo Javier MANAGING EDITOR

VOLUME 49.5 ISSUE NO. 01

The Blues’ next game will be against the Vancouver Island University Mariners on Sept. 17, after winning their home opener against the Langara Falcons 5-0 on Sept. 10.

Scouting Report

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From early-October until halfway through the penalty shootout of the national championship game, the Capilano Blues Men’s soccer team looked like the best unit in the country. However, a disappointing shootout performance brought their season to a screeching halt. The Blues finished with the Canadian Collegiate Athletic Association (CCAA) Silver Medal and a question that permeated around the team: can the troops rally back into contention after last season’s heartbreaking finish? Slow starts have plagued the Blues throughout the years. In both the 2014 and 2015 season, they finished the first month with a losing record. Last year was no different. The team didn’t get its first win until after a month of play, followed their slow start with a furious run and then bookended the regular season with another slide. This year however, the Blues came out of the gates a different team, beating Quest Kermodes 1-0 in their season opener on Sept. 7. “I’ve told them I definitely don’t want to limp out of the gates this year,” said head coach Paul Dailly. “If we can get a good early win hopefully in the first two games it will settle the team down, especially the first years, they’re going to be a little bit nervous come game one and not really knowing what to expect and I think it will be big for them just to get three points under their belt and get a victory and settle them down a bit.” There is room for excitement this season, a lot of it. Not only does the team feature a healthy dose of returning players that have experienced the gruelling competition at the national level, they also feature one of the most dangerous offensive forces in the league. Last season, striker Kristian Yli-Hietanen illustrated why he’s considered as one of the best players in the entire country. Yli-Hietanen’s magical run saw him lead the PACWEST in scoring, win Rookie of the Year as well as the Most

Valuable Player award. Finally, YliHietanen closed the season with a CCAA All-Tournament selection and an AllCanadian award. Joining the top striker is forward, Keith Jackson. Jackson has played for the Blues in seasons past, but took a break last year after finishing his two-year Global Stewardship program. “[Jackson] and Kristian are gonna be two horses, two lanky dudes who can just run all day long, so I think this year our offense is gonna be our biggest threat,” said Devan Woolley, centre defender and team captain. Although the Blues will most certainly feature some creative scorers, Dailly is keen on maintaining a smart offense that values possessions and efficient attacks. Scoring flare from their forwards is expected, but if the defense is tight, Dailly encourages his squad to be judicious with their attacks and survey the other side of the field. Defensively, the Blues are set to be anchored by returning keeper, Hudson Nelles. Nelles is coming off a terrific playoff run, one that saw him win the top goalkeeper award at the PACWEST Provincial Championships. “We are definitely going to be defensively responsible first and foremost, we want to keep the goals against limited this year,” said Dailly. Another mainstay in the Blues defense is Woolley. This year, the versatile captain finds himself switching positions from central midfield to centre-back, removing himself from an attacking role, but instead focusing on being the team’s defensive linchpin. “I’ve played a lot of centre mid or centre defense in my soccer career, but it’s a bit different, you know less of an attacking role and I don’t get into the action as much but its still fun for me,” Woolley said. With 10 rookies on the roster, the Blues look to be a team that demonstrates a healthy dose of youthful exuberance and stout veteran experience. “It’s been great, we’ve got a great core of veteran leadership there so I think they have made the transition very easy for the new guys coming in,” said Dailly. Chemistry will be the key this season. If the Blues can get out of the gates fast, then competition must watch out.

+ Robust defensive line with top

STRENGTHS

+ Dynamic offensive unit that might be the best in the conference

+ Stand up group of veterans with National Championship experience notch defenders and goalkeepers WEAKNESSES

- Tendency to struggle early - Prone to hot and cold streaks 8

— PAUL YATES — PAUL YATES

@CAPILANOCOURIER

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WOMEN’S SOCCER PREVIEW Blues aiming for cup run despite last season’s disappointment Kevin Kapenda NEWS EDITOR

VOLUME 49.5 ISSUE NO. 01

Capilano University’s next game will be against the VIU Mariners on Sept. 17, after finishing with a 1-1 tie in their home opener against the Langara Falcons on Sept. 10.

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— PAUL YATES

2015’s campaign saw the team finish dead last in their division, conceding four times as many goals as they scored and amassing only two victories. According to second year striker Jaimi MacCara, inexperience played a large part in those results, with 15 of the squad’s 20 players having never played at the collegiate level until that year. “I think our main struggle [last season] was that there was only a handful of people that actually knew each other,” said MacCara. “We were all first-year university and no one really had that confidence yet.” For midfielder Natalie Leclerc, understanding each other was one of the big caveats that held her team back in 2015. “I feel like it was mostly our team chemistry and not everyone [being] on the same page” said Leclerc. “Last year we were really divided [as a team] with our different ages and what not.” However, after having a year of getting used to teammates and the philosophy of their coach, optimism amongst the players for this season is sky high. “This year, it’s totally different,” explained MacCara. “This year, you can tell that the caliber of skill is definitely higher, and because we know it’s higher, we all want to succeed that much more.” Second year midfielder Natalie Leclerc believes team organization will be better because of last season’s experience. “Our second year players really want to win this year and we kind of all know who are main competition is and how we need to play [to win]. We’re kind of like a big family,” said Leclerc. Much of the turnaround MacCara expects her team to make is possible due to a formation change and style of play in the team. “We changed

our formation this year to a 4-4-2 [formation],” said MacCara. “Last year we played 4-5-1 and that’s really hard when you’re a striker because you have to score goals on your own and slow down the play when you have the ball.” This year, having two strikers and a more offensive crop of players is what MacCara feels will be the key for the Blues, having already made strides in pre-season action. “This year, with our 4-4-2 [formation], we’ve scored so many goals already in our preseason by just having two strikers up there,” explained MacCara. Quality and skill has also improved among the players, which is something Leclerc believes will help the team keep possession and better control play. “Last year was kind of a kick and run type of game,” conceded Leclerc. “This year I feel we have the skill to kind of keep possession and play more with the ball at our feet.” After losing more games than they probably should have last year, the Blues are anxious to get back on the field and mount a division challenge. As for Leclerc, she is excited to play against Quest, who they defeated 2-0 in the season opener on Sep. 7 and will host on Oct. 6, by the Sportsplex. “I’m excited to play Quest, mostly because they’re another young team and they were really good last year,” said Leclerc. “I think we can put up a good fight against [Quest] this year.” For MacCara, kicking-off against Douglas College and Vancouver Island University is something she’s been itching to do for almost a full year now. “Other than Douglas, we had one game against VIU where we lost 8-1 I think,” said MacCara. “So obviously it would be really nice to show [VIU] that we’re a totally different team this year that’s capable of beating them.” Building on the strides she made last year, Leclerc is confident she can increase her goal contribution from midfield this season. “Last year I was more defensive and scored three goals,” recalled Leclerc. “This year I definitely want to be more attacking and score five goals”.

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VOLUME 49.5 ISSUE NO. 01

FEATURES

â&#x20AC;&#x201D; MEGAN COLLINSON

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Gabriel Scorgie FEATURES EDITOR

Right now isn’t a very good time to be in charge of a big movie studio. “We won't know for a couple more years, but this seems like the worst year on record for movies,” said John Penhall, a Motion Picture Arts instructor at Capilano University. Independent movies such as The Nice Guys and Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping both failed to break even, despite heavy advertising and positive reviews from critics, while the summer’s big blockbusters Suicide Squad, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, and the new Ghostbusters film all managed to make money, but failed to receive good reviews from fans and critics. But with both blockbuster films and independent movies failing, studios are deciding to play it safe, continuing to remake films and order sequels instead of taking a chance on a new one. The reason for this seems to be a simple: the safe option is still making money. “It doesn’t matter how good the film is, all that matters is if it makes money or not. It’s a cycle. We’ll give you more

easier for filmmakers to make their movies, and cheaper,” Beaulne began, “However, this doesn’t mean you’ll be picked up by a big distribution deal, nor does it mean theatre chains will accept your film. You need notoriety. Film festivals are still the standard tool for getting recognition and a following, but

they are flooded every year with three times the submissions they used to receive. Getting into a big film festival like Sundance takes a lot of luck because there is no way the judging panel can watch all the films that have been submitted in their entirety, it’s impossible. Not only has it become harder to get your indie film in front of an audience, it’s also harder to convince your audience to pay attention to it. “No one has the attention span or dedication to watch something original a lot of the time. If we don’t like something right away, we click away,” said Beaulne. Penhall agrees with the idea that another problem is that there is just so much out there that it’s hard to pick anything. “There are so many different kinds of films out there. There's some really edgy stuff being made,” he said. “The problem is maybe there's too much of it. It's not just that people are looking elsewhere, there's almost too much content out there. I think this is something everyone's struggling with.” Hidden gems on Netflix or YouTube are almost like a currency that can be traded amongst friends. Someone sees a good film that they missed in theatres and tells a friend in exchange for a TV show they just watched three seasons of in a weekend. Penhall said that despite having almost infinite choice in what to watch, people still tend to lean heavily on the recommendations of others. “We need things to be simplified for us. Maybe someone saw American Ultra and we all decided that it was really good, but instead it fell through the cracks and nobody saw it. Thank god everyone can agree on Stranger Things.”

VOLUME 49.5 ISSUE NO. 01

it. Losing touch with the audience now.” In the 1960s, the way the studio got the audience back in theatres was largely through luck. The first stroke of luck was that people still wanted to consume media and there was a very limited way to access content at the time. There were the four big studios, a couple minor studios and the four big networks. Penhall describes it as “a very small pipeline.” Their second piece of luck came with the massive success of movies such as Bonnie and Clyde and Easy Rider. “The studios had done everything in their power to not get those things made, only to discover that when they were finally released, they made more money than anything else that year. Peter Fonda has this great quote where he said, “Easy Rider was the point where the studio heads went from shaking their heads in confusion, to nodding their heads in confusion. Suddenly they had the keys to the kingdom,” said Penhall. “It was artistic cinema competition, with profit,” added Beaulne. However, everything is a cycle in the movie industry and even this had to end. Two movies changed the landscape of filmmaking, slowly turning it into what people see today. “Jaws and Star Wars both showed the studio executives how much money could be made if a movie was made correctly and marketed correctly,” said Penhall, “That's when the studios took back over and said 'enough with these prima donnas trying to make art, we've got better ways to make money.' So the accountants won and studios went from being owned by the Warner Brothers to getting sold to oil companies. Paramount became a Gulf and Western company in the 70s and 80s. Gulf and Western was a huge rape and pillage oil company that exploited people in the third world.” The film studios suddenly had a board of directors that knew nothing about movies and cared only about the bottom line. Penhall believes that was the beginning of movies becoming safer and safer. These days, studios don’t have the luxury of controlling one of the few content pipelines and their plan of making safe movies is beginning to crumble. “For about 30 years it worked but now we're at a period where people are getting their content from other places. One of the big ones is television,” said Penhall. Now there’s almost an infinite number of pipelines available for people to get content — and that might be part of the problem both as a creator and as a viewer. “Since the switch from film to digital, it is now

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money for superhero films so we can cash in on the marketing of it,” said Cole Beaulne, a third year Motion Picture Arts student. Penhall believes that part of the problem is that studios don’t know how to make a good movie that makes money anymore. “We've got too many choices now,” he began. “I think there's a similarity between the late 50s, early 60s where Hollywood didn't really know what it was doing anymore. All the guys that were running the studios were now in their 70s and 80s and they'd lost touch with what people wanted. I think there's a similarity now. We don't know how to keep people in movie theatres and we don't know what they need so we go for the safe bets. I think there's more to it than that, but I think that's a large part of

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Christine Beyleveldt CAMPUS LIFE EDITOR

In April 2016, Capilano University’s School of Business travelled abroad to China. The trip was advertised as an immersive experience that would introduce students to the wonders of 4,000 years of civilization compressed into three weeks. I was fortunate enough to be able to accompany the School of Business across the Pacific Ocean and experience for myself China’s history in the making. After three weeks abroad, it was clear that China was one of a kind in that two entirely different worlds coexisted. Extreme poverty was a single block away from splendid wealth, the most basic of infrastructure existed on the same city corner as engineering feats and the illiterate and the most highly educated individuals interacted on a daily basis on their commutes. All of this is possible because of the enormous changes the country undertook in the last half-century, which began with industrialization.

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“Industrialization has led millions of people out of poverty and led millions of people in China to not have to worry about where their next meal is going to come from and whether they’re going to survive. So, in a way, it’s been incredibly successful in a short period of time,” said SFU professor of modern Chinese history, Jeremy Brown. “The problem is that it’s led to lots of inequality in Chinese society, so you do see incredible wealth, which is making its way to Vancouver and affecting us here. You see this incredible wealth in China right next to just abject poverty in the same city block or in very close proximity.” In many of China’s industrial areas, the squalor is vivid in the outlying districts while the city centres are proud testaments to China’s contributions to the world economy. Guangzhou, one of Vancouver’s sister cities, is the birthplace

of the Silk Road and the epicentre of world trade. The million-square-foot Canton Fair is one of the largest trading expos in the world, where foreign buyers and sellers conduct their business. The city lines the heavily-polluted Pearl River and gleaming glass towers graze the skyline. Standing out against the backdrop of a steel jungle is the Canton Tower, a work of art in itself, constructed of twisted iron bands spiralling high into the sky that light up at night. More barges than you would ever see floating in English Bay permeate the mouth of the river, and the same could be described of the Huangpu River that cuts through the heart of Shanghai. However, the city limits are clusters of ghettos and shantytowns. Stray animals roam, grubby children run around and the homeless, many of them mutilated, beg

for alms. Some of them have been blinded, others have lashes or burns scarring their bare backs, some are missing limbs and a few women bare their bound feet hoping to elicit sympathy from passersby. Damp laundry hangs from every surface at their disposal. Shelters have been assembled from scrap metal and rivulets of dirty water run through the cracks in the streets. The sights, sounds and smells of rural and metropolitan China are akin to straddling two worlds. In Huizhou, CapU students had the opportunity to tour two factories that highlighted the differences between the old Chinese standard of employment and western caliber. First, we were taken on a tour of Ledman Optoelectronic, the producer of LED lighting. Ledman shone as an example of China’s progress,

making use of the assembly line to manufacture and test LEDs. We were also shown the factory grounds and the residences provided to workers and their families. After, we toured Dubon, a smartphone manufacturer. We were hustled in and out of the factory quickly, and only after our tour we learned about the piecemeal system the factory operated on. Dubon’s workers were paid based on the number of products they put out per shift, and if they fell behind their daily quota they wouldn’t earn enough to provide food for their families. The contrast between the two factories lay in assumed product quality and the treatment of employees.

The key difference between east and west lies in its industrial history. Britain began to develop new technologies, such as the steam engine, and built the first factories in the eighteenth century. Countries of the east, including Russia and China, were still considered feudal societies well into the twentieth century, but in just a few short decades had become domineering forces. Infrastructure grew so quickly that China was metaphorically thrust into the 21st century before the general populace had a chance to catch up in terms of a cultural shift. From an outsider’s perspective, China possesses the air of a first-world country, yet in many senses it is still very much a developing nation. The last emperor of China, Puyi of the Qing Dynasty, was forced to abdicate in 1912 at the age of six. The Dowager Empress Cixi was inept and spurred on a reform movement led by revolutionary Sun Yat Sen that launched China into the modern age. A struggling republic governed China until the end of the Second World War, and in 1949 the Communist party headed by Mao Zedong assumed power. Mao is a glorified figure in the modern People’s Republic of China, known for his political and industrial reforms, but outside of China’s borders he is best remembered for his bloody purges. “The Cultural Revolution was Chairman Mao’s attempt to revitalize the

revolution; he was a turning its back on M The purges that ens populace as a libert of old Chinese cultu it drove ancient tra practices undergrou In Taiwan and ot Asia, Chinese c “Confucianism is g great contribution to the world.” expla what was damaged the Cultural Revolu of trust in society resurgence the Chin reluctant to relinq values and spiritu purge. As a result, abide firmly by the o “Fascinatingly, i change in leadershi came into power,” e the Chief Marketin in Shanghai. “Ima country that has g revolution and pr outside contact.” “The communist economic path of during the 50s an that they had a where the state co quotas for differen followed five year had to meet develo Brown. The first send ambassadors development in Eu States and Southe saw was China…n economy to have m economy and China the world in terms trade with other co Deng implement that launched forei and opened Chin western world afte struggle and isolat did everything Mao up the country, bu pieces”, said Moin. Guangzhou was t country to be open

afraid that China was Marxism,” said Brown. sued were taken by the ty to erase all evidence ure in society. Instead, raditions and religious und. ther parts of Southeast culture is revered. glorified as a proper that China has made ained Brown. “I think d much more during ution was just a sense y.” Since the cultural nese people have been quish their traditional ual beliefs to another many of the Chinese old system of beliefs. in 1976 there was a ip and Deng Xiaoping explained Shakir Moin, ng Officer of Coca Cola agine the paradigm, a gone through cultural retty much shunned

t party followed the f the Soviet Union nd 60s, which meant steep lined economy ontrolled and planned nt industries and they r plans where they opmental goals,” said thing Deng did was abroad to report on urope, in the United east Asia. “What they needed to open up its more of a market style a needed to open up to s of having more open ountries.” ted an open door policy ign business ventures nese markets to the er a decade of violent tion. “He came in and o didn’t do. He opened ut he opened it up in It began in the south. the first port in the ned for international

trade and now conducts business with over 300 ports in 80 countries worldwide. “There’s never been a growth of middle class, or emerging middle class, as fast as it has happened in China in the history of the world,” Moin described. The country still bore the physical scars of a cultural revolution when it opened its doors to the western world, and is still in many senses a developing country. But it has grown faster in recent decades than most developed countries managed over the span of centuries. “It’s the largest factory in the world. I would just see trucks,” Moin described upon arriving in China for the very first time. “It was fascinating for me to see so many trucks on the road but no cars.”

During the 80s and 90s, China continued to grow exponentially, and then it slowed. In 2013, leadership changed hands again. “President Xi [Jinping] came in and he said ‘It is not growth at any cost, it is growth at right value,’” said Moin, “so he just called out things like corruption, he’s called out pollution, he’s probably the first leader in China who’s said ‘yes, there is pollution in China.’” Corruption throughout the ranks of Chinese society takes the form of money laundering and the circulation of false currency. However, street crimes and petty offences such as pickpocketing and trafficking are the main targets. Military presence is strong in public, especially in historically- or politicallysignificant spaces, such as Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City in Beijing. It provides a sense of safety and security to the Chinese. However, as Canadian students we found it all quite alarming upon the discovery that our bags were being scanned and we were being filmed every time we stepped onto the metro platform. “China always knew about corruption, but corruption was the price of doing business in the early days. The growth was so rapid that if [Xi] went in at that time and started to clamp down on corruption, it would have hindered the growth. Today, corruption is a tax on the

business,” Moin explained. Essentially, corruption among high-ranking officials was the only path toward progress in the early days of reform, but now it has become a hindrance on business. Despite the Communist Party’s efforts to boost business through preventative measures, the economy has slowed ever since the global recession of 2009, making it even

harder for businesses to thrive while abiding by new environmental policy. “[Xi’s] number one priority is to keep the Communist Party in power and to keep himself in power, and he seems to be doing it pretty effectively,” said Brown. “It’s a very selective attack on corruption. He’s not attacking people who he has personal ties with or people who are part of his faction; he’s attacking the opposing faction. So that’s part of consolidating his power but it’s also a genuine broad attack on kind of petty corruption of officials dining out too much and being ostentatious with their wealth, and that’s been popular among the general population of China.” The price of development is steep. Smog-infected Beijing serves as an eerie reminder to the rest of China and to the rest of the world. “Pollution [is] another factor that really affects the quality of life and is really having a negative effect on millions of people and on the economy,” said Brown. “Tourism is going down, students from abroad who want to study Chinese are choosing not to go to China just because it’s not a very liveable place with the air…as bad as it is.” Coal-powered plants belch thick, black smoke into the sky day and night, and as a result a permanent haze shrouds

the capital city. It’s not just an aesthetic problem when one can feel the dust and dirt particles entering their lungs at every breath. Shanghai also faces this dilemma. On even a clear night the grey clouds of pollution swallow up the tops of buildings. It makes for pretty pictures but comes at a deadly cost over the course of one’s lifetime. According to the National Academy of Science of the USA, air pollution in northern China has decreased the average life expectancy by over five years. The effects on one’s health aren’t as noticeable in the south, but the streets aren’t clean either. Guangzhou’s Pearl River was named for the pearlcoloured shells that lie on the riverbed that once gave the water a lustrous shimmer, but today it is an oozing brown sludge littered with industrial waste. “It’s a balancing act,” Brown concluded. “At what point does the environment get so bad that it threatens [their] power?” In three years, Xi’s policies have drastically altered Beijing’s skyline. On the Air Quality Index (AQI) scale Beijing ranks at 200-plus on most days, on a few occasions climbing to dangerously unhealthy levels as high as 400. To compare, the average AQI reading for Vancouver is a mere two. But ever since smoking was banned indoors and in public places, and the number of private cars permitted on the roads has been restricted, the bank of smog has noticeably receded. We were even lucky enough to wake up to blue skies and fluffy white clouds on our final morning in Beijing. China is more than what it appears to be. An ancient civilization unconquered to the present day, it has survived times of turmoil, battles with the Mongolian hordes and the Huns, and of peaceful coexistence with its neighbours. The terrain has been ruled over by nomadic warlords and imperial bloodlines to arrive at the present, a westernized society that is set to become a global superpower. China’s rise has come at a cost that the country has been preparing to face. But with an uninterrupted timeline spanning millennia of political and cultural conflict, China has successfully maintained its cultural traditions while proving to be a 21st century superpower.

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ARTS & CULTURE FRINGE FEST GUIDE

CAPU STUDENTS READY FOR THEIR CURTAIN CALL AT VANCOUVER FRINGE FESTIVAL Musical theatre alums reunite for How to Adult Andy Rice EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Imogen is about to turn 25. It’s the age she’s always believed to be the tipping point into full-blown adulthood, but somehow it snuck up a little sooner than she’d imagined. Her two roommates are feeling the strain as well, so the trio decides to make a list of adulty things to help get them back on track. How to Adult: The Musical follows the follies and failures of Imogen (Erika Babins), her gal-pals (Natalie Moon and Jill Raymond) and her brother Graham (Aaron Lau) as they each begin to put on their grown-up pants, one reluctant leg at a time. “They’re all kind of in various stages of life upheaval,” explained Babins over a quick break between rehearsals. “My character, she works from home and she finds it really hard to leave the house and make friends because she’d rather just stay in and watch Netflix. The other characters, one just lost her job and the third was perpetually in a relationship but was recently broken up with and finds herself single. And then my estranged brother shows up, which throws a wrench into things because he brings up some stuff from my past that I

don’t want to have to deal with.” Babins and Lau are both graduates of Capilano University’s musical theatre program, though they actually met outside of school while working on a Theatre Under the Stars production of Bye Bye Birdie. “Our paths have crossed a few times since then, but I don’t think we’ve worked on a show since 2011 so it’s been nice to reconnect,” she said. “I was several years ahead of Erika at Cap,” explained Lau. “I actually started in the music program back in the fall of 2000. I did two years in the music program and somehow fell into the musical theatre elective class and kind of found a new love for theatre, which I had never explored before. I went to Cap expecting to do one thing and stayed another two-and-a-half years doing something completely different and ended up making that my career.” Neither are strangers to the Vancouver Fringe Festival, where their latest collaboration is being mounted at The Cultch Historic Theatre. “This is actually my sixth Fringe Festival in a row,” said Babins. “I’m a little bit obsessed with the Fringe. I always kind of find a way to get myself involved with it.” Last year, she served as the choreographer for TITUS: The Light and Delightful Musical Comedy of Titus Andronicus, which was awarded Pick of the Fringe before being remounted this past August as part of the Vancouver Fakespeare Festival. Lau has been a part of four Fringe productions, including the very popular Hunger Games: The Musical in 2016. “I love the Fringe,” he said. “It’s a great way for artists to get together and create a lot of passion projects and especially small ones where you’d be hard pressed

to find a theatre company to put money into your show to produce it, much less put it up yourself. The Fringe Festival gives people that opportunity to test the material or to just put on something that they’ve always wanted to put on at a lower budget cost than they would otherwise.” The cost for theatre-goers is significantly lower as well, with tickets for How to Adult available for only $14 — perfect for young people whose own road to adulthood involves pinching their pennies wherever possible. “There aren’t really any honest shows about what it’s like in those three or four years after graduating university,” added Babins. “You see a lot of shows about college kids or about high school kids or about the 30-somethings about to be married with kids, but this age of kind

REVIEW: THE FAMOUS HAYDELL SISTERS COMEBACK TOUR Sept. 8, Performance Works Andy Rice EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

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With a backstory that could have been pulled right out of a late-night CMT documentary, the fictional Haydell sisters have embarked a comeback tour. As they take the stage for their first concert in 20 years, it’s clear there are still some underlying issues, but they power through and deliver their old hits like it’s 1996 all over again. The Famous Haydell Sisters Comeback Tour showcases the talents of Sadie Bowman and Donna Kay Yarborough as Maybelle and Mattie respectively. The Portland-based duo has a sisterly chemistry and musical prowess that makes the show far more believable than one might imagine. As they play their instruments and belt out nearly a dozen numbers live on stage, it’s easy to find yourself forgetting that you’re not at an actual concert. Spoof songs like “Wrangler Butt” and “Your Broken Heart (Is No Excuse to Be and

of floating… is, I think, a pretty universal feeling and pretty under-represented in mainstream media. I think it’s a really cool show for that reason, particularly.” For more information, vancouverfringe.com.

visit

www.

HOW TO ADULT: THE MUSICAL - SHOW TIMES MON, SEPT. 12; 6:15 PM TO 7:25 PM WED, SEPT. 14; 7:30 PM TO 8:40 PM SAT, SEPT. 17; 9:15 PM - 10:25 PM SUN, SEPT. 18; 3:30 PM TO 4:40 PM AT THE CULTCH HISTORIC THEATRE

Asshole)” will have you cracking smiles and slapping your knee in amusement, even if the country genre isn’t your favourite thing in the world. The performance isn’t all gags and wit, however. There is seriousness, too. Midway through the play, the sisters take a moment to dissect the flaws that broke them up all those years ago – and while this is an understandable place to go in the narrative by all logic, this flashback does feel a bit forced and out of place in the script. More jarring are a series of unintentionally pitchy moments from Bowman, who can undeniably carry a tune but might not be best suited to the country genre. But overall, the Famous Haydell Sisters are worth far more than the Vancouver Fringe Festival prices they’ve been charging for their reunion spectacle. Perhaps they should tear a page out of the Eagles’ book and add a couple zeroes to those figures.

THE FAMOUS HAYDELL SISTERS COMEBACK TOUR - SHOW TIMES MON, SEPT. 12; 7:45 PM TO 8:45 PM WED, SEPT. 14; 9:15 PM TO 10:15 PM THU, SEPT. 15; 5 PM TO 6 PM SUN, SEPT. 18; 7:45 PM TO 8:45 PM AT PERFORMANCE WORKS

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Andy Rice EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

If ever there was an unsung hero in the musical theatre world, it would have to be the humble piano player. The endless sight-reading, the long rehearsals, the dark orchestra pits — only to be an anonymous placeholder for the full band that appears on show days as if by magic. But what if the piano player was the full band? And what if he or she got to make a little on-stage magic of their own? Enter Matt Grinke, who will lend his talents alongside the And Bella Collective for their upcoming Vancouver Fringe Festival production of Sally Stubbs' And Bella Sang With Us. The show, which follows two female pioneers of the local police force, plays at VanCity Culture Lab until Sept. 17. Over the past several months, Grinke has been hard at work adapting music from the early 1900s, which he will bring to life on an antique upright piano. The Courier caught up with him during last week’s dress rehearsals to learn more about his latest musical adventure. HOW DID YOU END UP WITH THIS GIG, PLAYING PIANO AND ARRANGING THE MUSIC FOR AND BELLA SANG WITH US? Sarah Rogers (co-director) and I have been working together for several years now. On the first show we did together (The 13th Chair at Studio 58) she brought me on board because my brother, who had recently graduated from the same program and worked with Sarah in his time there, told her that I would be a great fit. The show called for melodramatic shots and stingers, like something from old Charlie Chaplin flicks, and those just seemed to come naturally to me. I think I was 18 or 19 at the time. The same type of era music is called for in 'Bella', so I'm guessing that's why I'm here now!

There is so much to know about the world of music, jazz being only a small part of that world. Cap has been like my semi-omnipotent tour guide on the continent of Jazztopia. Let's face it — the profs don't know everything.

seeing the world via multiple cruise ship gigs, and being the ragtime piano player in Disneyland. For more information on And Bella Sang with Us, visit www.vancouverfringe. com or www.sallystubbswriter.com.

WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF AFTER GRADUATION? I will be leaving Vancouver, definitely. Maybe not right away, but I have to leave. The jazz and musical theatre communities here are not that big, and once people know your name and you start getting a lot of work, it's very difficult to break away from that clique. There is so much world to play for, and to learn from. The eventual goals are playing in Broadway orchestra pits,

AND BELLA SANG WITH US - SHOW TIMES WED, SEPT. 14; 7 PM TO 8:30 PM FRI, SEPT. 16; 5:15 PM TO 6:45 PM SAT, SEPT. 17; 2:45 PM TO 4:15 PM AT VANCITY CULTURE LAB

DO YOU HAVE A LIFELONG PASSION FOR THEATRE AND MUSICAL THEATRE? DID YOU WORK ON ANY PRODUCTIONS AT CAP AS WELL? IS THIS YOUR FIRST FRINGE FEST PRODUCTION? Oh yes, definitely. I grew up with my brother listening to musical theatre, and I naturally fell into it too. I took my first musical theatre class in grade nine, and was music directing shows two years later. It's definitely been a lifelong passion, and will continue to be one forever, I have no doubt. I've played for a few of the Cap musical theatre shows now. My first one was Drowsy Chaperone, and then the Secret Garden, Rocky Horror Show and Cabaret. This is my fifth VanFringe show, and the third one where I've worn the same bowler hat. All of them have been on solo piano, with no other instruments. My first fringe show was nine years ago, with Gutenberg the Musical, an incredible production I will remember forever. HOW HAVE YOUR SIX (GOING ON SEVEN) YEARS AT CAPILANO UNIVERSITY SHAPED YOU AS A MUSICIAN OVERALL? Well, my doodling skills are quite good now, hah! Before I started in the CapU Jazz program, I had trained in classical music for 11 years, so it was quite the switch. I thank my classical training for the technique I now have, but Cap has allowed me to dive into the more complex harmonies that jazz music offers. My understanding of harmony and chord movement has certainly expanded in my time at the Asylum.

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Old timey jazz and ragtime have always been some of my favourite genres, so playing in the style was not a stretch for me by any means. I've also played two summers of the Vaudeville show at Burnaby Village Museum and spent some time playing up in Barkerville, so the repertoire came fairly easily too. The tricky part was getting together with Sarah and Sally and figuring out which songs from that era fit with the mood of the scene. The rest was just... playing what sounded good, I suppose. Sometimes you just know how the scene transition should sound, so you just play what comes to your fingers.

The actors on stage provide foley and sound effects on stage, but I'm the only one playing music in the show. One of my specialties is playing for improvmusicals, where the songs, score, script, scenes, and everything else is made up on the spot. I'm very good at following action on stage. Shameless plug moment, come see Friday Night Live in Lynn Valley, starting Sept. 23, where we improvise everything! The key to adding music to an intimate show like 'Bella' is listening, listening, listening. If a serious or sad scene has just finished, I'm not going to play something peppy and ragtimey. Likewise, I'm not going to play Chopin's death march if a scene ends in a joke. It's all a matter of transferring what you hear and feel emotionally, through your fingers.

/CAPILANOCOURIER

THE CAPILANO COURIER

THE CAPU JAZZ PROGRAM PREPARES ITS STUDENTS FOR MANY THINGS, BUT ADAPTING MUSIC FROM THE 1900S CERTAINLY ISN’T TOP OF THE CURRICULUM LIST. WAS THERE MUCH RESEARCH INVOLVED IN ORDER TO WRITE AND PLAY IN THE STYLE REQUIRED FOR THIS PARTICULAR PRODUCTION?

IS IT JUST YOU PROVIDING THE MUSIC ON STAGE? WHAT TECHNIQUES DO YOU PULL FROM YOUR BAG OF TRICKS IN ORDER TO CONVEY ALL OF THE DARKNESS OR DRAMA REQUIRED THROUGH A SINGLE INSTRUMENT ALONE?

@CAPILANOCOURIER

CAPU GRADS BEAUTIFY THE CITY AT VANCOUVER MURAL FESTIVAL Local initiative added 35+ permanent murals to the city, involved 40+ artists Leah Scheitel CONTRIBUTOR

Q&A WITH YOUNGBLOOD: From Design Grad to Dream Pop Carlo Javier

THE CAPILANO COURIER

VOLUME 49.5 ISSUE NO. 01

MANAGING EDITOR

About a year after graduating from Capilano University’s Illustration and Design (IDEA) program, Alexis Young landed herself a contract with Lululemon. She worked in the head office, helping the team’s branding division by creating digital campaigns for the community – a promising start for a design graduate. However, design wasn’t the only creative outlet that Young entertained. I caught up with Young, better known as Youngblood, to talk about her transition from design to music, how her visual inclination seeps into her sonic landscape and the lessons she’s learned in her young music career.

“What the 60s thought the future would sound like” is a pretty prominent mantra throughout your online presence. What’s the origin behind this quote? I think I instinctively chose that to represent my music and my sound because I’ve always been really obsessed with the aesthetic of the 60s. There were a lot of films, particularly soundtracks to those films that came

how we could mesh ideas,” said Milne. Elliott painted the Fontile Building, near Main and Terminal. As she explained it, “It’s a vignette of birds eating tiny naked men.” While Elliott did receive some help for the project, majority of the design and execution was done on her own, running into a few challenges throughout the week. “I got certified to use a boom lift for this piece, which is an extremely scary and hard to operate machine that puts you 40 feet in the air. I’m terrified of heights, and it was the hottest week of the year, so it made for some crazy difficult working conditions,” she said. Both Milne and Elliott agree the

projects were a success and think similar public art projects are needed in Vancouver. “We’ve had an overwhelmingly positive response from the community. Most of Vancouver’s public art is depressingly corporate and trite, killer whales and bears and that kind of thing,” said Elliott. “It’s nice for people to see work by up and coming younger artists with a fresh take on things, or international artists who can be like, ’this is what’s going on in the rest of the world’.” As for Milne, she believes the festival has done great things for the city and hopes it will continue. “I think undoubtedly the festival has

already had and will continue to have a positive impact on Vancouver – from creating an unprecedented number of opportunities for existing and emerging local artists, to transforming the accessibility and perception of art in the city as a whole,” she said. “Public art is incredibly equalizing and inspiring, and hopefully the city will continue supporting it on this level after seeing the success of the festival.”

songs available online?

you’ve learned so far in your music career?

Be sure to check out Elliott and Milne’s wild work on Instagram (@ s h a n n o n e l l i o t t y 2 k / @tierneymilne) or visit www.vancouvermuralfestival. com for updates on next year's festival.

out in the 60s that were set in the future and they were science-fiction films and it was around the time that the synthesizer was really coming into play.

You’re a design student, but when did you realize that music was going to be one of your primary creative outlets? I’ve been writing and playing music my whole life and design and music have always played a significant role in my life equally. I chose to study design, but throughout my studies at Cap, I was on tour with my previous band playing shows and was very active in the music scene.

— ROB SEEBACHER

On August 20, three Capilano University IDEA program grads joined over 40 talented artists in the 2016 Vancouver Mural Fest. Katie So, Tierney Milne and Shannon Elliott took to the streets from Main to Prior, expressing their bold and unique art style on the previously blank walls. Milne and Elliott were asked to participate in the program by Andrew Young, festival curator, who also runs SNAG, the weekly live art show at The Cobalt. For both artists, the experience of painting their art on the side of a building in Vancouver was exciting. “I worked on about 150 feet of the Makerlabs building at East Cordova and Hawks in Strathcona,” explained Milne. “The mural breaks down the coastal landscape into simple shapes, textures and patterns to create an abstract scene with familiar elements and some hidden faces.” Milne collaborated with fellow artist, Colin Moore, taking a week to complete even with two extra sets of helping hands. “[Moore] is incredible at creating complex patterns and it was inspiring to see his thought process in action and see

What motivated you to pursue music over design? I find a little bit more satisfaction in my creative fulfillment with music. I feel music as more of a part of me that I’m sharing with the world, versus, I think, design is a tool for me to help other people share their ideas with the world.

That’s a good question. I think that I’m pretty shameless with my self-promotion at times. I put myself out there a lot and I try to just create songs that I’m really stoked on and hopefully other people will be stoked on them as well.

There’s a projection of setting and imagery from your music. Is that something that you intend to do with your music?

Do you do your own branding and merch designs?

Definitely. I wouldn’t say that I’m synesthetic, but I definitely see things as I’m creating them, and creating soundscapes that I want to evoke a certain feeling or visual with.

I predominantly do all my design work but as with many artists, you’re so picky and particular with your own work, there’s always stuff that you could be changing and want to be altering. When someone else does something, you kind of accept it for what it is.

How did you get a pretty considerable following despite having only three

What are some of the lessons that

I would say that the hustle pays off and anything you can do tomorrow, do today. That’s my new favourite quote.

Can you tell us a bit about your upcoming EP? It’s five songs and the two tracks, “Feel Alright” and “Easy Nothing” are gonna be in it, so there’s three new songs. They’re all a little bit diverse in their sounds. There is cohesion with them, but I think that each one kind of has its own story, and its own visual vibe or a feeling. Youngblood’s EP release party will be at the Fox Cabaret on Thursday, Sept. 22 at 8 pm. Tickets are $12.

CALENDAR

12 MONDAY

ACTION BRONSON COMMODORE BALLROOM 8 PM / $40+SC Action Bronson is a chef-turned-rapper who hosts a pretty popular web series on VICE about his culinary adventures. I can’t attest to his cooking skills, but I can tell you that he’s a better web show host than he is a rapper. He’s a fun-loving dude, though – you wouldn’t want to miss the inevitable Vancouver episode of Fuck that’s Delicious.

16 FRIDAY

TUESDAY

BIRCH CAFETERIA

LIBRARY SQUARE PUBLIC HOUSE

CSU WELCOME BACK CARNIVAL CAPILANO UNIVERSITY

10:30 AM / FREE The Capilano Students’ Union (CSU) is going all out with this year’s back to school festivities. On top of the carnival games, snowboard simulators and salsa dancers, they’re also making alcohol available at the Maple Lounge, in the middle of the day, and renting a mechanical bull. You’re going to wish you didn’t opt out of your CSU Health Plan.

7:30 PM / $10 Disorientation is most likely going to be the first and only school-based social event you’ll be attending all year. For just $10, you can make new friends, get a complementary shot and make memories that’ll last forever! Don’t leave early though – they’re raffling Drake tickets and a Superstore gift card.

17 SATURDAY RIO THEATRE

LOCATION TBA

DIGESTIVE HEALING NOURISH CAFÉ & COOKING SCHOOL

6 TO 8 PM / $180 This is my first step towards becoming one of the most celebrated Crohn’s Disease patients in the world. This event is all about understanding your digestive tract and finding out what causes inflammation and bloating. It’s about learning some of the easy, soothing recipes you can make at home. This is about trying to understand why they’re charging $180 to help you hit the bathroom.

CHARLES BRADLEY & HIS EXTRAORDINAIRES 8 PM / $29.50+ Charles Bradley is akin to pioneers like James Brown and Otis Redding, and tickets to his show are selling for as low as $30! Don’t waste your money on Drake tickets and go see this man instead, then use the rest of your Drake money go to his after party – he’ll play the same exact songs there anyways.

18 SUNDAY

TERRY FOX RUN ACROSS THE LOWER MAINLAND

8 AM / BY DONATION The last time I did the Terry Fox Run was in middle school. I got sent to the office for dragging my then-friend who was about to cross the finish line ahead of me. What can I say? I was a competitive teenager. If you can call 3 km in 24 minutes competitive. Come to think of it, that was the last time I ran.

SIGUR RÓS

THE ANNEX

QUEEN ELIZABETH THEATRE

8 PM / $56.50+ One of Iceland’s foremost bands staked their claim to fame with their innovative contributions to the art rock world. Then, they became the first ever band to play at a Westerosi wedding. Here’s to hoping that the show casts dreamy, ethereal vibes without the side effects of The Rains of Castamere.

BIBI BOURELLY

THE CAPILANO COURIER

THURSDAY

ROGERS ARENA

8 PM / $ - HOWEVER MUCH YOU CAN SCALP Last time I saw Drake, he only played songs from his then album, Nothing Was The Same, and a handful of featured singles, no older material. See, that’s not so bad considering NWTS was a very good album. However, if this happens again, run away and demand for a refund because VIEWS – let’s just say it was less than stellar.

BUG 8 PM TO 9:15 PM / $20 If psychological thrillers filled with dark comedy, sex, drugs and a bug infestation problem is your thing, then this production is the right Wednesday night activity for you. Ditch the local pub trivia night and enjoy what The Hollywood Reporter describes as “a riveting thriller of paranoia and an instant guilty pleasure.”

DRAKE

ORPHEUM THEATRE

7 TO 10 PM / FREE Apparently this happens every second Tuesday in more than 30 cities around the world. Each city’s respective organizers post a location puzzle on the Puzzle Pint website which then leads to a local pub where more puzzles are waiting. Sounds fun until you find out that’s the whole point, because there are no prizes, not even a single pint.

WEDNESDAY

6 TO 9:30 PM / $10+ The perfect microcosm of Vancouver: 10k nocturnal bike ride laden with beards, fabletics and Swell bottles. A single ticket will get you a free Momentum magazine, free basic mechanic services from Reckless Bike Stores and a chance to win an electric bicycle. It’s just like the Tour De France, except you won’t get in trouble for taking other substances.

DISORIENTATION

PUZZLED PINT

KITSILANO

CAREER WEEK: WHAT IS YOUR DREAM JOB? 11:30 AM TO 1:30 PM / $ - YOUR PRECIOUS TIME My dream job was to be in the NBA, but then I stopped growing taller and started getting wider. But don’t let my sob story discourage you from opening up to a bunch of strangers and the good people of Career Services. Not only will you get an idea of how realistic your dream job is, you can also win a $20 Tim Horton’s voucher.

BIKE THE NIGHT

ALEXANDER GASTOWN

9 PM / $13+SC Though Bibi Bourelly may be a relative unknown at this point, it won’t be long before her tunes become staples in clubs and generic remixes. The Berlin-based soul singer is part of the writing team that completely shifted Rihanna’s career from mega pop star to ultra mega pop star with their work on ANTI.

VANCOUVER PUBLIC LIBRARY CENTRAL BRANCH

10 AM TO 5 PM / $ - VARIES This is the first of a three-day seasonal sale at the Vancouver Public Library. Thousands of books will be up for sale and any item that remains unclaimed by Saturday will be available at a 50 per cent off discount. Such generosity and incubation of knowledge and learning couldn’t happen with school textbooks.

DRAKE

VOLUME 49.5 ISSUE NO. 01

FRIENDS OF THE VPL: FALL USED BOOK SALE

OPINIONS

THE SAINT THAT AIN’T Whether you like it or not, Mother Teresa did some bad things too Jessica Lio OPINIONS EDITOR

In light of the recent canonization of Mother Teresa, the western media has responded with mixed reactions. While some have published inspirational, feel-good articles crediting the global icon with dedicating her entire life to charitable work to help poor and sick people, there are journalists, academics and doctors who have been questioning the validity of this perception for years. The fact that the mainstream media is still praising the impact of her benevolence, without providing a full picture of the realities shaped by her work, only goes to show that audiences are expected to consume what’s handed to us, regardless of the complexity of the issues at hand.

BAD BREADTH? Why Canada needs university electives Kevin Kapenda

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NEWS EDITOR

If you’ve spent any time at university, you have probably heard one of your peers complain about not wanting to learn things that aren’t directly related to their degree or major. This mindset of not caring about other topics, while personal, can be quite harmful to societies when it becomes widespread. For indifference and lack of concern for others, is why we see so much division in Canada and the world today. In recent years, universities have introduced breadth requirements for which undergraduates, regardless of their program, must complete. These stipulations typically mandate students to take a specific number of electives with limits on how many courses can be taken from one subject group (humanities, life or applied sciences) or discipline (sociology, chemistry, etc.). While some students have embraced these policies, many have voiced the opposite, regularly questioning the utility and fairness of the requirements. Though these policies aren’t popular, it is important that universities stand their ground for the sake of building a more competent and inclusive Canada. When students take an interest in other cultures and subjects, they develop tools that allow them to do so much more in their careers and communities. For example, to contribute to our political system as a voter, organizer or candidate, one must have basic knowledge of the institutions they wish to impact. Furthermore, most working adults must have a fundamental understanding of government to understand the influence

So why, when hundreds of millions of dollars had been raised for Mother Teresa's cause, were her hospitals that were supposed to provide aid not what we’ve been made to believe? This is a question that many of her proponents would rather not have raised. Instead of providing peace and healing, the hospitals were reportedly poorly equipped and unhygienic, along with providing inadequate amounts of food, painkillers and lack of actual medical attention and care for sick patients. Despite that the life and work of Mother Teresa has been inspirational to the work of many humanitarians to address poverty and its effects, many people aren’t willing to brush aside the hypocrisy of the belief that the suffering of poor folks would bring them closer to Jesus, which was demonstrated by the refusal to provide the dying with pain relief, while the Good Samaritan herself sought treatment at modern American health care facilities when she was in need of the service. This view is quick to be disregarded, with arguments following the logic that “People who are complaining should stop complaining and do something good for humanity”

and “She might have made her own mistakes but she dedicated her life to helping people in need. Hate all you want but she still was a saint.” Another example of the public’s tendency to overlook “mistakes” occurred over the past few months, as news of the allegations of sexual assault against actor and producer Nate Parker resurfaced. Arguments in defence of Parker which go along the lines of: “The man made a mistake 17 years ago, people are just trying to bring him down because he’s successful now.” Following the tradition of rejecting any criticism of a well-respected person without regarding the unique facts of the situation, Mother Teresa’s apologists are quick to supply inspirational quotes and platitudes about the number of lives that were touched by her, rather than acknowledging that somebody they’ve been taught to admire may actually have been flawed and should have been held accountable for it. While optimism is nothing to frown upon when browsing through today’s news, the tradition of bystanders who consume mainstream western media and are more than ready to silence

any opposition to those who they deem worthy of praise and fanfare is an unhealthy and detrimental to the way our society views and comes to understand the world around us. The banners of peace, benevolence and good faith, while having the ability to make people feel good about their own beliefs, have also been used to mask the effects of oppressive forces, to wage wars and destruction against nations and even entire religions. This is prevalent now, just as much as it was over a decade ago. In our lifetime, propaganda is nothing new, it has just become easier to camouflage as it integrates into our everyday lives without being recognized as such. History books, communications and media networks and even dictionaries have always been owned by those who have monetary control and the ability to shape and influence society’s dominant ideas and acceptable norms. While there’s no harm in highlighting the positive impacts of past and present leaders on our society, the silencing of those who are not ready to overlook major flaws for the sake of someone else’s profit doesn’t make any of us winners.

regulation can have on their profession, trade or industry. Without breadth, you are leaving college without the tools to understand complex institutions or policies. You are graduating without the knowledge you need to thrive in a liberal democracy. It is no secret that those who work as executives and high-level bureaucrats tend to come from educational backgrounds where culture générale, or knowledge of many different subjects is encouraged. In fact, this tradition has given birth to many fields including medicine, law, business, sociology, public policy and urban planning. Being willing to learn about different things is not only good for society but the wallets of young people too. To succeed in the 21st century as an entrepreneur or professional, you must be able to draw from different subjects and theories to innovate and improve whatever product, service or technology you sell or market. If you think breadth is useless, consider these 20th century leaders who used their varied knowledge to create products and movements mankind had yet to dream of. Henry Ford understood the economic and societal remodelling that would be needed to make the automobile accessible to all, while Martin Luther King Jr. recognized the legal, cultural and social barriers Americans would need to overcome to extend civil rights to all the country’s inhabitants. If you can’t find the value in opening yourself up to different subjects and issues, it’ll be very difficult to think outside the scope of your ad-libbed certificate known as a degree. While not wanting to learn other subjects may appear harmlessly lazy, it quietly relates to many of the larger divisions present in our country today. For example, most non-immigrant Canadians don’t understand (or want to learn) the true nature of colonialism and violence Aboriginal peoples have endured for centuries, yet promptly

assert they “receive too many benefits from the government”. Furthermore, if you know little about economics and sociology within the context of each other, it is much harder to understand issues like poverty or income inequality, especially if you haven’t experienced it yourself. No provincial education minister is

demanding that you know a little bit about almost everything. Nevertheless, Canada cannot afford to abandon the tradition of breadth requirements because certain students don’t care about other subjects, cultures or issues. That’s because the prejudices that develop as a result of mass disinterest is why such policies were enacted in the first place.

— PAMELLA PINARD

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SORRY NOT SORRY What ever happened to sincerity? Carlo Javier MANAGING EDITOR

A public apology is a lot of things. It’s a mark in a things-to-do checklist, it’s a PR move and it also works as a subtle explanation on why a publicised racist tweet gets suddenly deleted. It has everything a celebrity needs to further their time under the spotlight. What it doesn’t have is the only element you need when apologizing: sincerity. This past month, American cult commander Donald Trump issued an unexpected apology after making some – no surprises here – offensive campaign comments towards several groups of people. Over at the Olympics, swimming medalist Ryan Lochte bookended his bizarre summer by releasing a public statement that had an excess of everything, but a noticeable lack in apologies. On the Hollywood front, actress and writer Lena Dunham issued her own public apology after publishing some head-scratching observations regarding her interaction – or lack thereof – with NFL star Odell Beckham Jr. at the Met Gala. Across the seas, the United Nations Human Rights Council (UNHRC) is still waiting for some sort of apology from the Philippines’ favourite tyrannical president, Rodrigo Duterte. There are very few constant variables between Lochte and Dunham – even less when Trump and Duterte are thrown in the mix. One of the only commonalities

SOCIAL MEDIA POLICE? IDFWU Why policing other people is destroying social media Leah Scheitel CONTRIBUTOR

/CAPILANOCOURIER

you might find about the crop, is that they were recently involved in some of the most high-profile examples of a public apology from a celebrity. The other is that when the apology did come, they all ended up skirting around the issue and portraying the pressures of their environments as reasons to blame for their actions. Remember when people used to own up to their mistakes? Trump cited the heated nature of debates as driving force for his vitriolic comments. Clearly he forgot that he’s regularly made racist and sexist comments in the most comfortable of settings, like, say, a TV show that he owns, hosts and has complete creative control over. Lochte blamed the “trauma” of being out late with his friends in a foreign country as the main reason for his lies and tomfoolery, while Dunham pointed towards her insecurities and “narcissistic assumptions” as to reasons for making her comments. Yes, Lena Dunham, the HBO star who presents herself as the beacon of hope and glory for smart feminism and body image advocates, cited her own insecurities for perpetuating racially motivated stereotypes. In an interview with Amy Schumer for her Lenny Letter newsletter, Dunham said, “The vibe was very much like, ‘Do I want to f**k it? Is it wearing a … yep, it’s wearing a tuxedo. I’m going to go back to my cell phone.’” Dunham’s comments about Beckham Jr. can be interpreted in many ways, but here’s the simplest retelling: “I’m wearing a tuxedo and a bow tie and because of that, this handsome black athlete doesn’t consider me as sexually attractive and thus, does not have any intentions of talking to me.” Yes, blame insecurities. As serious as the underlying issues in

these incidents are, they can seem truly trivial when put in perspective with the words and the crimes of a president. At the time of the writing of this article, Rodrigo Duterte had publicly called Barack Obama a “son of a bitch,” adding to his rapidly growing list of offences and defiant measures against the many human rights commissions that condemn him. Unlike Trump, Lochte and Dunham, Duterte has shown no signs of bookending his controversies – he just piles them on.

The state of the public apology – whereas it marked the beginning of the process of atonement or walk back towards re-acceptance – doesn’t carry the same philosophies anymore. Apologies no longer come as sincere acceptance of errors, they’re simply footnotes to bookend a controversy, and preludes to the next one. So the next time you fuck up, don’t waste your time pondering whether it’s too late now to say sorry. Sincerity is a lost art and it’s not coming back anytime soon.

Behind the anonymity of a keyboard and the internet, people not only feel that it’s their privilege to spout their unsolicited opinions with ease, but also their right. However there is a limit to it what is an acceptable amount of social commentating. Just as in real life, spouting too many opinions makes you seem like a jerk. That threshold is the same on social media. In society, we have always found a way to co-exist with governing authorities and the police, and with people who have contradicting opinions to our own, but we don’t go and throw a block party in their backyard. Nowadays, scrolling through Facebook feels like constantly tip-toeing past the backyards of those self righteous, fingerpointing, name-calling neighbours that nobody wants to invite over, ever. The general consensus is that social media has done wonders for catching people doing shitty things. One example of this is from my small town, where an image was captured from video footage of someone stealing art from the local art gallery. The image was an instant hit on social media, getting shared over 75 times, with captions like, “Let’s catch this creep,” and “Make them pay for their choices.” It wasn’t long before the thief saw the images herself and turned herself in. The art was returned, and there was no real harm done, so the social media police could rest. But they

didn’t. That thread got shared another 50-plus times, this time with people commenting on the thieves’ appearance, lack of grooming skills and the overall attractiveness of her face. “I wouldn’t let my worst enemy sleep with her,” was the last caption I read before I turned off my computer and hated humanity. If this case had happened before the internet was around, it would have been handled in a traditional method, with the people involved figuring it out amongst themselves, without an entire chorus of unknowledgeable opinions. Thanks to the ever-present triggerfingers of the social media police, the situation deteriorated into simple name calling, something that was, at best, helpful to nobody, and at worst, completely detrimental to someone’s self esteem and personal life. This case is by no means isolated. Everyday, the internet is bursting with people’s opinions on everything from parenting to political views and sexual preferences. Just recently, following the MTV Video Music Awards, there was a thread of people talking about how ugly Blue Ivy is, which is absolutely ridiculous. For one, she is a three-yearold child and no three-year-old deserves to be judged on their appearance. Also, Blue Ivy already has more wealth in her life than most of us can even imagine.

And there is absolutely no way the spawn of Beyoncé and Jay-Z is going to be anything less than gorgeous. Here’s the point: social media policing is killing the internet. It’s turning the greatest knowledge-sharing tool of all time into a playground of unsubstantiated opinions from people who think it’s perfectly okay to lecture people they have never met on things that they know very little about. It’s making for a hostile environment from what starts as, and should remain as, a communication channel. It’s true to that old saying – if you don’t have anything nice to say, please don’t say anything at all, even if you can with the click of a few buttons. No one wants it and you’re making Facebook and Twitter suck.

— ANGELA MARTINEZ

VOLUME 49.5 ISSUE NO. 01

THE CAPILANO COURIER

Man, it’s easier today to police other people’s behaviour on social media than it is to find tickets to a Police concert. The number of opinions bouncing around on Twitter, Instagram and the big one, Facebook, is astonishing. People are ready and waiting to pounce on any opinion that contradicts theirs, for no other reason than that they can. It’s no secret that the internet has given birth to more trolls and online bullies than we know what to do with.

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COLUMNS

Max Ley COLUMNIST

THE CAPILANO COURIER

VOLUME 49.5 ISSUE NO. 01

Welcome back to school, everybody. How were your summers? Did you spend a lot of time on our lovely beaches drinking a hefty amount of Bomber Brewing’s Park Life Ale? I know I did! But we are back at school and once again need to keep our drinking and eating habits on a budget. For those of you who are new to the column, my goal is to help you pair your favourite cheap meals with inexpensive and tasty wines – sometimes beers and cocktails. Throughout the year I will be guiding you through these pairings and teaching you a thing or two about all your favourite drinks along the way! Today, I decided to make a last ditch effort at clinging onto summer by trying to pair a wine with a perennial favourite of BBQs and baseball games, the hot dog. Of course, there are tons of variations on the sausage-between-two-buns format, but I opted to go with the classic form: a simple hot dog topped with ketchup, mustard and relish. Filling, satisfying and full of all kinds of sweet and savoury flavours, the common hot dog is a beloved food all summer long. The bun provides some starchy goodness but is rather plain on the flavour side, leaving the wiener and the condiments to provide all the character for this food’s flavour profile. The sausage supplies a reasonable amount of fat while the ketchup and relish provide a hefty dose of savoury flavours with a sweet backbone. The mustard gives a bit of heat to the whole thing, which leaves the hot dog as a huge mess of flavours that need a good wine to cut through them all and elevate the rather varied elements of this dish. The wine I went for today was the 2010 Caves Sao Joao Dao Porta dos Cavaleiros red blend from the Dao region of Portugal. Readers from last year will know how much I tout the values of inexpensive Portuguese reds in terms of their quality for the price. This red from the esteemed Dao region

was no exception. Dao is the primary source for Port’s main grape, Touriga Nacional. However, Dao is known for using Touriga in a number of delicious table reds much like this one, which is composed of Touriga Nacional, Tinta Roriz, and Alfrocheiro Preto. This red is beyond delicious. The nose is full of aromas of ripe raspberries and blackberries, some light smokiness and just a faint touch of oak. It’s a light to medium bodied wine and rather dry with flavours of raspberries, faint vanilla, with a touch of earthiness. All accompanied by moderate tannins and a medium finish with balanced acidity. This wine retails for $16.99 at Liberty Wines Commercial Drive and is a hell of a bargain considering its quality and vintage appeal. This wine was absolutely perfect with my hot dog. The Porta was light enough that it didn’t overpower the meat and the bun of the hot dog. The bun and the wiener are so plain in flavour that it’s super easy to overpower them with whatever you pair them with. However, you do need something with a little bit of intensity to match the fat that the sausage provides and the variety of flavours from the condiments. The ripe berry flavours of the wine were perfect with the relish and ketchup and elevated their sweet decadent notes. Although the mustard did have some heat and kick, the wine managed to match it without getting disrupted by arguably the strongest flavour among the condiments. The acidity was prominent yet balanced and was able to cut through the fat of the sausage perfectly. I was extremely impressed with the pairing of this wine and the hot dog! One of the things I love about writing this column is finding pairings that I will gladly return to in the future. This delicious, dry, fruit-forward wine was an absolute gem with the easy convenience of a tasty hot dog. Check out past editions of Sip, Sip, Hurray! on the Capilano Courier website, and be sure to follow all of my wine and foodrelated posts on Twitter and Instagram @sipsiphurray!

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NEWS TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD 500 stolen cows to save your day Leah Scheitel CLINICALLY CYNICAL

How much effort would go into stealing 500 cows? This isn’t some lame riddle that my dad told me, and it’s not some adage to teach a lesson. It’s a legit question – how much effort would go into stealing 500 cows? According to Willy Leferink, a lot of effort goes into stealing that many cows. Leferink is a farmer in New Zealand, and his friend on a neighbouring farm had 500 cows stolen from him, valued at over $750,000. Leferink estimates that a trailer-truck would have to be loaded to the tits, or udders, 13 times to steal that much cattle from the farm on the South Island of New Zealand. This story, which was reported in the Toronto Sun on Aug. 30, didn’t name the farmer who was the victim of the beefy theft for the simple reason that he was mortified. He was so mortified, in fact, that he didn’t even want to talk to a Canadian news outlet, one that he would likely never see or have anything to do with. According to Leferink, his neighbour is “absolutely gobsmacked” – as he should be. If you owned a Ford dealership and someone came and stole an F-150, you might not notice. However, if someone managed to steal 10 trucks right from your lot, and you went about oil changing the vehicles that were left, yeah, people might start wondering about your sanity. The only question bigger than how the farmer didn’t notice the theft of his cows is what in the hell would thieves

REIGN VANCOUVER The sounds of Sara Sukkha Marissa Del Mistro COLUMNIST

sound like a dedicated and thuggy bunch. But, more important than that, is the lesson of keeping shit in perspective. When I attended Capilano University, there were times when I felt utterly overwhelmed with school and more than once I very seriously mused about running away to Wyoming – they put vodka straight into the Slurpee machines there. Every feeling of exhaustion, devastation, embarrassment and annoyance you will have this year, I also felt during my time at that campus. I once lost it because I couldn’t find a parking machine to accept the $3.50 that I needed, and fumed for the rest of the day. Another time I forgot

an easy deadline and cried in the library in front of my group members. Believe me – I get you. What I hope to give to you through this column is some perspective. Yes, it’s going to be hard, and yes, there are weeks that are absolutely going to suck and you might irrationally cry at a tampon commercial, but that’s okay. If you do, remember that you’re not that sad sack farmer in New Zealand who had 500 cows stolen from him. Life does get messy, complicated and busier than a prostitute’s tit at a brothel, but there are stories out there that will remind you that it’s not so bad. I’m here to tell them to you.

of electronic dance music (EDM) after seeing High Contrast, an intense artist whose sound radiates with heavy drums and bass. Instantly, she was hooked on the unfamiliar sounds, wildly different to the classical environment she had grown up on. Like every music lover, she began to explore the different genres within EDM, compiled playlists, fell in love with various DJs and of course, attended festivals. Arguably one of the most popular festivals for EDM is Shambala: a yearly celebration of art, music and community taking place in Nelson, BC. While attending two years ago, Sukkha met her boyfriend, also a DJ, who doubled up as her mentor and teacher. Eventually, she bought her own decks and hasn’t looked back. Sukkha enjoys the independence and freedom that electronic music allows her. A self-described “lone-wolf,” getting on the decks is a trance that has built confidence and autonomy, a complementing metaphor to how she lives her life. Through her influences and experiences, Sukkha has cultivated a specific style that she likes to bring to each show. “My first love was indie and folk music so my goal is to have really heavy

techno, house beats, with contrasting folk music harmony floating on top,” she said. Believe it or not, she is also a singer and plans to sample her own voice as an abstract instrument on her tracks. She prefers her sound to be bass heavy, grimy and is unafraid of being “weird.” One of the most important things she has learned in her career thus far is how to read a crowd. The ultimate goal is to have everyone dancing and happy. A hungry crowd can be intimidating, but Sukkha is always prepared. She is sober by choice, in contrast to the stereotype that often surrounds EDM music and night club life in general. “Some people are really surprised by it, but I really love it. I can really appreciate each experience,” she explained. Sukkha is passionate about spreading the “okay-ness” of sobriety in night clubs, whether as a spectator or behind the decks. “Going out should be about appreciating the music.” It is no secret that dance music is predominantly a boys' club. Unphased, Sukkha explains she hasn’t received negativity in Vancouver because of her gender. Instead, there are lots of venues that hire female DJs around the city, as well as competitions to encourage female artists to get their sound out.

Acknowledging that sexism certainly exists in the industry, Sukkha feels lucky to be a part of a city that has welcomed her regardless of gender. “DJ-ing should be a genderless talent,” Sukkha explained. She loves to surprise those who are doubtful of female DJs, by getting on the decks, holding her own and sticking to her self-described “grimy, bass heavy” style. Fortunately, it’s not just females that are welcome – everyone is. “I haven’t felt as much community or been so overwhelmingly welcomed in a scene, anywhere I’ve lived,” Sukkha exclaimed, “I’m proud of be a part of it.” A family of welcoming, like-minded, kind people makes it a great way to meet new friends in Vancouver. Sukkha added that no one should be afraid to enjoy these events, as the community is so friendly. You can find Sukkha behind the decks or dancing at shows all across Vancouver. Be sure to check out one of her biggest bookings yet, at Celebrities Nightclub in November, and support Vancouver’s local artists! For more info, visit https://soundcloud.com/sarasukkha or http://sarasukkha.com.

VOLUME 49.5 ISSUE NO. 01

do with 500 cows? It would be a sane argument to say that stealing $750,000 in cash – the value of these 500 cows – would be easier to steal than the actual cows themselves. They’re big, loud and, well, not the smartest animals to herd. I have seen cows run and poop themselves at the same time, and while that might be impressive to an Olympic speed walker, it’s odd that someone would want to steal 500 of those animals. The owner was right – it’s gobsmackingly odd. Okay, so maybe there is a lesson in this story – to notice the shit going on around you or to not fuck around with cow thieves from New Zealand, as they

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By swapping band practice for heavy bass and her flute for turntables, Sara Sukkha is finally making her mark in the electronic scene of Vancouver. Bold and passionate, Sukkha challenges the norm through unique mixes and original ingenuity. “I want to be unpredictable. You never know what I am going to do,” she gushed to the Capilano Courier over a hot coffee. Recently, Sukkha finished as a top five finalist at an all-female DJ battle and her 45-minute mix earned her a residency spot at Gastown’s mysterious Are you MIA? nightclub. The opportunity to perform at a popular venue has given Sukkha the confidence to explore her creativity and become an integral part of the community. Six years ago, while living in England, Sukkha dove head first into the deep end

— TAYLOR LEE

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OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL NO When in Rome, go back home Fred Ulrich Jr. COLUMNIST

You should travel while you’re still young so that you can get all the disappointment out of the way early on. Or, if you’re wise beyond your years, you’ll heed these bitter words of warning from your favourite human train wreck’s new biweekly column and

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save yourself the time and money. Life is hard enough already without throwing yourself into unfamiliar places where you don’t know the language, the culture or the weed dealers. If you still need more convincing than that, I’m here to help. From my years of experience touring the world with a now-defunct band of folkpunk dickheads, I’m here to make sure you know exactly why visiting anywhere that isn’t here is a bad idea. Let’s begin with Rome. I came, I saw, I considered getting back on the train but some angry men in uniforms wouldn’t let me. Resigned to seeing my itinerary through, I hauled my gear out from Termini station onto the grimy, anklebreakingly degraded cobblestone streets

— KYLE PAPILLA

THE UNLEARNED SOCIETY Reclaiming the freedom to learn Lars Henrik Ahlstrom

THE CAPILANO COURIER

VOLUME 49.5 ISSUE NO. 01

COLUMNIST

“It is, in fact, nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry; for this delicate little plant, aside from stimulation, stands mainly in need of freedom. Without this it goes to wreck and ruin without fail.” — Albert Einstein We believe ourselves to be free and enlightened. We are the true beneficiaries of the age of Wikipedia. We are the custodians of a bottomless, saturated world wide web which provides virtually any answer, should you care to look for it. We pride ourselves in being the generation that finally hoisted the banner of gender and race equality, and that, truly – this time, we mean it – all men (and women) are created equal! And yet we seem to have all but lost our ability to critically tap into these sources, and even with the aid of our pricey, hyper-specialized educations,

we have failed to restrain the spread of all information and doctrine, which is demonstrably false. We are quick to blame the overabundance of information, and the overwhelming distractions of the entertainment industry, for our disengagement from the issues that are arguably the most urgent for the survival of our species or the functioning of safe, stable societies. Ecological crimes, old prejudices, remote-controlled weaponry... all thrive before our enlightened eyes. While it is more than common to see young people clamouring against the cost of their education and the financial burden it creates for years or decades to come, it is much rarer to hear them argue about the quality of their education. In making such a judgement, it is customary to rate an education in terms of how well it prepares you to be successful in the labour market, rather than how well it prepares you to belong harmoniously in an ecosystem and a society. This tunnel vision eclipses the bigger picture: the trend of transforming us into a lifeless mob of consumers, consuming education like any other product or investment. We become fearful, self-obsessed, ashamed to speak out against the status quo, and oblivious of belonging to the commons on which we depend. Who, then, is to blame, if we are simply making decisions that are in our best personal interest? The reality is that, regardless of our political ideas,

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of the ancient city. Now, there were a lot of shitty first impressions that hold true for lots of other places and aren’t uniquely Roman. It was too hot, too dirty, too smelly, too crowded and the traffic was its own unique brand of insane. I don’t want to dwell on these points because they’re really not all that special, but please keep them in mind as the persistent backdrop for the rest of this revue. It had been a long night of travelling and I was in the most desperate need of some caffeine in my bloodstream. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the aftermath of somebody trying to run a gasoline engine after accidentally filling it with diesel, but that would make a fair comparison to my brain’s state of operations at that time. As I stumbled my way through the winding streets in my sore and tired stupor, I held on to the hopeful glimmer of knowledge that Italy is apparently kind of known for having coffee. I found a hole in the wall that had an espresso maker and made my order at the counter. Then I ordered again because there is no way in hell that one tiny cup can hold enough coffee for a grown-ass man. Dainty coffee shots in hand, I had shuffled halfway towards the table in the corner before the guy behind the counter started shouting at me in broken English, wanting more money. I had definitely paid enough for the coffee (and even tipped a little!) so I assumed this was part of some bullshit scam or something. I pounded my tiny coffees in a hurry and made my exit. As it turns out, the “culture” here regarding coffee is that you’re supposed to pay an extra fee for the privilege of sitting down for the whole 30 seconds it takes to do a micro-shot of joe. While I definitely

appreciate the efficiency of their approach, it felt like an ugly extension of my next complaint. I learned very quickly to keep my hands in my pockets and to say, “yes” to nothing here. I’ve been to lots of big cities with plenty of pickpockets and scammers, but oh boy does Rome ever take the cake for people trying to part you from your hard-earned cash. Even legitimate businesses will be trying to rip you off. It’s sad that you can’t ask for a recommendation at any of the restaurants here because the answer will always be literally the most expensive thing on the secret menu. It sucks that the friendly, smiling manager will make a big show of being buddy-buddy with a local cop (or someone dressed like one) moments before casually dropping a bill five times higher than what you ordered at your table, hoping that you won’t risk making a scene. As for the actual attractions and historical marvels, I’m sure they’re nice if you ever get a chance to really appreciate them. Unfortunately, I only got to experience the claustrophobic crush of being in the middle of a throng of pushy and noisy tourists in and/or near these undoubtedly fantastic sites. I saw a corner of Trevi Fountain, a sliver of the Colosseum’s interior and a few partial and angled glimpses of that famous painting I recognized in the Vatican.

we are slaves to a capitalist economy that dictates the model of our education. And capitalism flourishes on one-sizefits-all models. We are told that it’s simply impossible to educate millions of young people taking their individual personalities, needs, talents, skills, etc... into consideration. By that, it is really meant that it is impossible to indoctrinate them if their curiosity is indulged, and if their knowledge of absolute truths can be used to challenge the instruments of control. When an education becomes nothing more than a necessary product to purchase – a golden key to a golden gate, a life safe from scarcity (or so we are told), it loses its most powerful drive: curiosity. Any attempt of rating the quality of capitalist education systems also inevitably relies on measurable, comparable data, such as literacy rate, or scores on standardized tests. In our blind “necessity” to quantify every unquantifiable thing (intelligence, knowledge, competence...), we have allowed fear and arbitrary thresholds to become the markers of our wisdom. Though we have a basic freedom of eventually choosing our area of study, everything else is arbitrarily imposed on students: the length of degrees, the amount of credits required, the minimum grades to pass, the amount of credits required, the restriction on the number of electives they are allowed to take... Though alternatives have been built

outside of the mainstream governmentsanctioned system to allow us a greater level of choice, the vast majority of us is still at the mercy of an old-fashioned, broken system that would struggle for its life if it had to justify its own existence to a court of rational jurors. As influential education philosopher Paulo Freire once wrote, “any situation in which some individuals prevent others from engaging in the process of inquiry is one of violence.” We are, whether knowingly or not, subjects to that violence for the better part of our youth. We have embraced our freedom to roam, to worship, to publish, to speak our minds and travel, only to give up the most important freedom of all: the freedom to learn. Legally and culturally bound to subject 20-plus years of our lives in exchange for credentials and the promise of a stable financial future, we have become terrified to reject what we're fed. Even if we know its poison. If there is any collective will to attempt to revert the suicidal trends in our societies drunk on the myth of limitless growth, education must be at the core of the effort, and the ones who suffer the violence of an indentured education must be at the front-line, demanding change and creating change. Otherwise, with the solutions at our disposal, the communication network reaching across the globe, we will march together like highly intelligent lemmings... towards the last abyss.

Fred’s local substitute: Try to get a seat at Anton’s Pasta on a Friday night. Be suspicious of everyone. Go home and drink coffee from a shot glass while standing. Finish by viewing art on your smartphone with the brightness turned way down.

HUMOUR

THE MYSTERY OF THE BUS CHICKEN Because Snakes on a Plane is old news Graeme Findlay CONTRIBUTOR

It was a rainy Vancouver evening. I had just left the gym at the Hastings Community Centre, where I’d acquired a cheap membership to tide me over while the CapU gym was undergoing some much-needed renovations. I had put in a full, busy school day followed by a workout and I was ready to get home and make some dinner. Unfortunately, this required a little grocery stop, so I boarded a bus on Hastings and headed up toward Safeway. Before my Compass card had even beeped on the scanner, I’d already begun planning my meal for the evening. Something filling, and something with optimal protein. Preferably cheap. And that’s when I saw it: The bus chicken. Yes, there it was, right in front of my eyes, stowed away under the seat as if it was the life-jacket on a Boeing 747. It was still wrapped in its original packaging, too, seemingly un-phased and untouched by all the rigours of an early evening commute. I looked around. There was nobody sitting on the seat above where it lay. Nobody beside. Nobody behind. I decided

to give the chicken a little squeeze. It was still cold. My dinner prospects were looking better by the second. Could someone have actually forgotten to take their dinner with them when they disembarked? Might it have rolled out of their bag by itself, or was it pushed? Perhaps it was an obscure religious offering from a particular denomination I wasn’t familiar with? (I mean, you never know in Vancouver…) Just to be sure, I asked some of the passengers around me if it belonged to them. It did not. They all had the same confused and puzzled look that I had. One then said, “Well, I guess it is yours now!” As my stop approached, I grabbed the chicken off the ground and took it with me to my house. I was ecstatic. I even made a Facebook status about it, thanking the mysterious donor for allowing me a meal that evening at their expense. Of course, the comments soon began flooding in. My friend and fellow writer Taylor MacPherson told me, “Don’t eat bus chicken, Findlay.” Erika, my sister, was far more specific. “What if it is injected with AIDS or poisoned?!” Others just thought it was unhygienic and strange. I even wondered myself, who could have left such a thing behind? What if it had been tampered with? What if it came pre-stuffed (with a bomb, perhaps) and I ended up exploding into a thousand unrecognizable pieces all over my kitchen and living room? What if it was loaded with laxatives from a prankster and I would be out of commission for the next week? I was too hungry at this point to be

concerned any longer. Even if I were to die from eating chicken that had been maliciously tampered with, that wouldn’t be a bad last meal to ask for. So, after removing the plastic packaging, I applied some olive oil and a spice rub and in the oven it went. The fact that I was trying a new rub recipe made it even more exciting. Talk about living on the edge! It turned out to be a very good meal, and one that I’ll never forget for many reasons. First, that spice rub didn’t disappoint. Second, it was a free dinner for my broke student ass, and completely at somebody else’s expense. Best of all, I no longer needed to go grocery shopping that evening, and I had leftovers for days. A few weeks later, just to put my sister at ease, I went and got tested and I’m proud to inform you that I’m 100 per cent disease free. That is, until I take a

chance on the next food staple I happen to find left unattended on public transit. I should mention that this was a free-run chicken, so who knows how many buses or places it had been before it found its final resting place in my oven. For all I know, it could be like the original Wilson volleyball from Castaway, except bussier — and chickenier. I could’ve been very privileged to be the one who claimed it. I want to once again send a shoutout to the kind man or woman who left me with a full stomach and a good story to tell at the end of a rainy Vancouver day. And if you’re a pretty lady, I hope I can thank you in person by taking you out for the dinner you sadly missed out on. But until then, the mystery continues. One thing, however, is for sure: the term “Winner winner, chicken dinner!” has never been more true than on that evening.

10 Fill in the Blank clichés to comfort a recently dumped friend

4. Oh that’s too bad. You guys 8. Don’t worry, your ________ were so _________ together. still loves you.

1. He wasn’t good enough for you because ____________.

a. Cute; wanna-be curmudgeon b. MSNBC; Fox News c. Stephen Hawking; averagely intelligent man d. Rachel; Ross

Leah Scheitel // Contributor

a. He never liked your cat b. His fridge was broken the entire time you were dating him c. He never even saw an episode of Buffy d. He could never make a free throw

a. Heal by eating tubs of ice cream b. Bathe in testicular sweat c. Masturbate more d. Finally admit that Tinder works

a. Drink heavily b. Want to eat cheeseburgers and cry in a dark room c. Oblivious d. Irrationally angry

6. It will happen when you least expect it. I met my love at _________.

a. Build-a-Bear b. My ex’s family reunion c. A Little League game while I was looking for all the men without rings on. d. All three major dating sites. Serendipitous.

7. Now you can __________ without _________.

9. I never really liked him anyways. His/he ________.

a. Handshake was way too strong b. Fridge was always broken c. Never even had Facebook so I could properly creep him d. Already knows that though. I told him all the time

10. He won’t know what he is missing until ________.

a. He spends hours trying to figure out his Plenty of Fish profile b. next Saturday morning c. He realizes that only going full crazy-girl twice in one year is actually pretty sane and respectable d. Gets a strange rash that requires three weeks of Penicillin

a. Clip your toenails; leaving the kitchen b. Watch baseball; his boner in your back c. Workout more; reason d. Die alone; disruption

VOLUME 49.5 ISSUE NO. 01

3. What doesn’t kill you makes you ____________.

5. It’s his loss! You’re so ________ and he’s so ________.

a. Cluster of overly-supportive friends b. Pizza delivery guy c. Overweight cat d. Third cousin, once removed, so therefore technically legal in some places

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2. You’ll learn to love again. You just have to ____________.

a. Disgustingly, vomit-inducingly adorable b. Brangelina c. Prefect & grumpy d. Drunk. Like all the time drunk.

CABOOSE

HOROSCOPES

THINKING CAP

IF YOUR BIRTHDAY IS THIS WEEK: It defies logic and reason that you’ve managed to make it this far.

What did you do this summer?

I went to Portland. LIBRA (SEPT. 22 - OCT. 23):

ARIES (March 21 - April 19):

Jessica Lio, Opinions Editor

Your dinner party was doomed to fail the moment you thought that chicken was

It’s another year of school and this time your teacher is confident you’ll make it out of the fourth grade.

‘pretty much cooked.’

I had a lot of triple dates. In Portland. SCORPIO (OCT. 24 - NOV. 21):

TAURUS (April 20 - May 20):

School really isn’t as hard as it seems - you’re just very, very stupid.

Every time you open your mouth people start counting down the seconds until you’re quiet again.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22 - DEC. 21):

All relationships fail in the end, but yours

GEMINI (May 21 - June 20):

seem to sprint to the finish line.

Describing everyday tasks as ‘adulting’ just proves that you aren’t moving out of your parents’ house anytime soon.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22 - JAN. 19):

The new iPhone might give you more room for apps, but it still won't make anyone reply to your messages.

CANCER (June 21 - July 22): You’re just the best. Keep it up, kiddo.

LEO (July 23 - Aug. 22):

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20 - FEB. 18):

Everyone notices that thing about you that you’re self-conscious about. In fact, it’s all they think about when they see you.

Summer may be over, but it looks like those 15 pounds are here to stay.

PISCES (FEB. 19 - MARCH 20):

VIRGO (Aug. 23 - Sept. 21):

You’ll prove to everyone around you that they’ve once again underestimated how lazy you truly are.

Everything you do is lame. You’ve even found ways to ruin cool things just by being yourself.

TO ADVERTISE in the Courier’s pages, please contact us by phone at 778-855-9942 or email Alva Tang, our Community Relations Manager, at community.capcourier@gmail. com. We are proud to offer discounts to non-profit organizations and North Shore customers. A full media kit with sizes, rates and deadlines is available on our website, CapilanoCourier.com. Classified advertisements up to 50 words are free for students.

SUDOKU

THE CAPILANO COURIER

VOLUME 49.5 ISSUE NO. 01

Puzzle 1 (Hard, difficulty rating 0.62)

7 3

6 4

5 7

4 1

Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku on Sat Sep 10 04:02:53 2016 GMT. Enjoy!

Christine Beyleveldt, Campus Life Editor

I wasn't invited to Portland. Carlo Javier, Managing Editor