Capilano Courier | Vol. 49, Issue 10. by Capilano Courier

VOLUME 49 ISSUE 10

SUIT YOURSELF

COLD CUT CANCER

Capilano University’s School of Business hosts a red carpet networking event.

Despite a cancer link, processed meats shouldn’t have you fearing the wurst.

NOVEMBER 09 - 15 | 2015

GIVING YOUR HEAD A SHAKE

CONTENTS

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Cover Art

Editor's Desk

News

Opinions

Features

Art Shorts

Columns

Humour

ZOE SOFIANOS

LEARNING TO MANAGE MY ANDYSOCIAL TENDENCIES

MAKING EVERY VOTE COUNT

THE ZOLAS, LEON BRIDGES, GANG SIGNS + MORE

REVAMPING THE MARKET: NEW COURSES AT CAP U

ALRIGHT, HEAR THIS: AMERICAN POLITICS

WOMEN OF BOND THROUGH THE AGES

IF WORLD LEADERS HAD TINDER PROFILES

THE STAFF STAFF THIS ISSUE COURIER COLUMNISTS Andy Rice

Therese Guieb

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

EXECUTIVE NEWS EDITOR

Carlo Javier

Gabriel Scorgie

EXECUTIVE LIFESTYLE EDITOR

FEATURES EDITOR

Kevin Kapenda

Mark Crickmay

OPINIONS EDITOR

ARTS + CULTURE EDITOR

FRED ULRICH JR. Fred Ulrich Jr. commonly known to the staff as F-U2 is a disgruntled alcoholic who once achieved his 15 minutes of fame playing the accordion for a now defunct band whose name we cannot publish due to, uh, standards. In this column, he’ll be talking about things that society just might be too caught up on. So he’ll be talking about a lot of things.

LEAH SCHEITEL

Christine Beyleveldt

Alva Tang

CAMPUS CORRESPONDENT

COMMUNITY RELATIONS MANAGER

Cristian Fowlie

Syd Danger

ART DIRECTOR

PRODUCTION MANAGER

Tianyi Bao

Brandon Kostinuk

BUSINESS MANAGER

WEB COORDINATOR

THE CAPILANO COURIER

VOLUME 49 ISSUE NO. 10

CONTRIBUTORS ERIC WONG

ZOE SOFIANOS

JESSICA LIO

MEGAN DIETRICH

RUBY WOODRUFF

MARIA CENTOLA

JACOB MUIR

NATALIE MURRAY

MILANA BUCAN

ANGELA ESTELLE

Leah Scheitel is really quite the polymath. She flew under the radar as one of the top students in the CapU business program last year, was a former triathlon superstar and knows the histories of both Saturday Night Live and each of the American secretaries of state by heart. However, in this column, she’ll talk about the two things she loves best — politics and men.

SABRINA KUHN Props to Sabrina Kuhn for being the most eager columnist of the year! Bonus points for being the first one to apply! After spending some time last year writing for the Courier to fulfill the obligations of the Arts and Entertainment Management program mandate, Sabrina is now writing without the requirements of her professor.

ANGELIKA MUZYKA This column will feature the members of Capilano University’s international education community. Each writer will come from a different culture and each of them will talk about their experiences being immersed in a society much different from where they came from. This week, we’ll learn about Angelika Muzyka from Scotland.

THE CAPILANO COURIER is an autonomous, democratically-run student newspaper. Literary and visual submissions are welcomed. All submissions are subject to editing for brevity, taste and legality. The Capilano Courier will not publish material deemed by the collective to exhibit sexism, racism or homophobia. The views expressed by the contributing writers are not necessarily those of the Capilano Courier Publishing Society.

EDITOR'S DESK

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LEARNING TO MANAGE MY ANDYSOCIAL TENDENCIES Andy Rice EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

As a child, I used to sing and play piano in front of thousands of people. Back then, it was no big deal. I was on stage at Powell River’s Evergreen Theatre so frequently that my teachers probably should have incorporated the staircase into the Phys-Ed curriculum. I was a member of three choirs, two bands and kept the lights on at the local music academy for about 15 years. At school, I wasn’t the smartest kid in the class but I was articulate, creative and always up for something new. I guess, by all accounts, I appeared to be a pretty confident little dude. I wasn’t nearly as confident as I appeared, though. I learned early that attention breeds scrutiny. For every moment I was on stage, there would be a week of teasing to follow, and even the most reflective of surfaces will absorb at least some of what comes their way. Most of my lasting on-stage memories aren’t actually of performing. I’ve long forgotten the words to “I Love Trash” from Sesame Street, but I can still remember how many clusters of speakers were hanging above me that day in 1996 when I sang it. As a kid, I always idolized the cameraman more than the newscaster and the lighting guy more than the rock star, and it’s been that way even as an adult. I still step onto the stage every now and then as a hobby, but my professional life has put me in an ideal spot just behind the curtain for most of the things that I do. The problem is, I’ve become so comfortable there, I’ve forgotten how to perform.

I’ve become what I call ‘Andysocial,’ meaning that, while I’m relatively shy if given the choice, I can usually muster enough confidence to improvise my way through even the most public of situations, although it doesn’t come naturally. In taking over as editor-in-chief of the Courier this year, I’ve had to learn how to be outgoing all over again. This isn’t a job for an introvert. I can’t hide behind the safety of a smartphone screen anymore. Suddenly, I’m responsible for attending meetings, making new connections and leading a team of people face-to-face. It’s probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. What’s particularly annoying is that the carefree, uninhibited child within me is playing the longest game of hide-and-seek you can imagine. I haven’t seen him in years. If he were to emerge out of the forest one day with a shaggy beard and bacne, that’ll be great, but I’ve had to explore other options in the meantime. As adults, we don’t have the ‘oh, they’ll grow out of it’ excuse anymore, and that’s terrifying. The same goes for our appearance. Sometimes I look in the mirror, studying every wrinkle and roll and think, “Dang, this isn’t what I’m growing out of — this is what I’m growing into.” But I’m way too hard on myself. I think most people are too hard on themselves. My sense of humour is rooted in self-deprecation and fairly quick to the draw in uncomfortable situations, but sometimes I wish I could summon my inner confidence just as easily. I’m certainly working on it. The ultimate test to my Andysocial tendencies has been our newest initiative, a weekly popup tent called ‘Coffee

THE VOICEBOX

with the Courier.’ You may have seen myself and a few of the staff last Tuesday in the Birch cafeteria, handing out free coffee under a big white tent. It was an idea I’ve had for a while, and something I think is long overdue for this newspaper, but boy was it ever a stretch for me socially. Intercepting randoms as they stumble dopily toward their first class isn’t one of my strong points, and it’s a good thing we have a community relations manager who is the bubbly yin to my awkward yang. We met a lot of great people on Tuesday and gathered some useful feedback. More importantly, we made a positive connection with our fellow students — even if it only lasted the time it took them to slam back a small dark roast from Ethical Bean. I’m still way happier stamping envelopes and typing out stories from the safety of my desk, but that can’t define me as a person and it certainly can’t define me as a leader. For some crazy reason, I’ve ended up with music and journalism as my two main career prospects. There has to be a reason I’m drawn to such public activities. Maybe one day that bearded child will come out of the forest and tell me why.

I haven't heard you guys call your office the dumpster all year? New EiC new name or just don't want to be considered trash?

with Carlo Javier

I saw some jackass parking his crotch rocket at Bosa, like seriously it is only a bit of rain, get a raincoat if you don't want it to get wet. Or take the fucking bus.

#CABINET

THE CAPILANO COURIER

What’s a crotch rocket? If you’re not getting it wet then I think you might be doing it wrong.

Because it’s not a dumpster anymore. I know it’s been right behind Dogwood, the ghost of the studio arts building (apparently named Willow) and that literal dump building beside Bosa as the ugliest space on campus for the past 10 or so years, but this summer Andy took the time to clean it and really reinvigorate this place. You should check it out on Tuesdays at noon.

TWEETS OF THE WEEK

Also there’s a reason why he promoted not one, but TWO Filipinos to managerial duties Right?!

Ohhhhh, I get it now! Just googled it.

Wow. That was far less inappropriate than I thought.

You guys gonna give away ASAP Rocky + Tyler tickets!? No, but are you?

They probably just wanted to get out of Cranbrook or something.

Or do you know anyone that is?

The Voicebox is back! If you have any questions, concerns or any other bitchin’ to do, text it over to our boy Carlo at 778-865-2649. “Please text me,” he says. “No one else does.”

VOLUME 49 ISSUE NO. 10

Any idea why there were more fans for the College of the Rockies volleyball teams than for the CapU teams? I mean they have a 10-hour drive…

NEWS

THERESE GUIEB

EXECUTIVE NEWS EDITOR NEWS@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

STUDENT APPEALS

Senate meeting presents new developments at CapU Christine Beyleveldt CAMPUS CORRESPONDENT Capilano University’s Senate gathered briefly on Nov. 3 to discuss affairs regarding the institution in the fall semester. According to the University’s website, the senate is composed of 26 voting members from all faculties of the institution, as well as a handful of students and instructors. The senate was created in compliance with the University Act and is the advisor to the Board of Governors at CapU. The first item on the Senate’s agenda was a brief presentation on the Cap Year Experience by Lydia Watson, Communication and Tourism instructor at CapU. Watson discussed her findings of students’ experiences, specifically within

the first year of each program, including orientation, commencement of studies and growth opportunities. Watson’s findings reported a need for the University to be aligned with Aboriginal success strategies and a need to incorporate outdoor education with recreation, which should be marketed to students. “I’ve heard students say it needs to be exciting, it needs to have elements of adventure and risk,” reported Watson. She also stated that students have expressed a need for a certificate of completion to be presented upon finishing their studies, as well as the need for transferable credits among other postsecondary institutions. The Senate members conclusively agreed to revise the Senate’s bylaws, and provided their mandatory one-month notice of reform before doing so, but were

unable to reveal the state of the changes. Non-voting member Sacha Fabry, vice president of University Relations at the Capilano Students’ Union, questioned the Senate’s right to make revisions without revealing the nature of the changes. However, the senate conclusively agreed that changes to bylaws will not be disclosed until the next meeting in December. The Senate called to attention the state of the current student appeals policy. Findings reported a lack of clarity among students regarding exam schedules and course offerings. Students have never been able to appeal individual assignment submissions, only final grades. The motion to approve one new quantitative analytical course was also carried at the meeting. Rick Gale, vice president of Academic

and Provost, followed up with his report on the success of the week of Truth and Reconciliation at CapU. The Ministry of Advanced Education was highly impressed with CapU, after receiving an 18page report covering all of the activities and events throughout the week of Truth and Reconciliation. Lastly, it was announced that the manager of Student Affairs, Peter Hedley, is stepping down from his position, and a new manager will join the committee on Nov. 23.

FINANCIAL SUPPORT FOR STUDENTS

Boston Pizza’s Give Back program contributes to general bursary fund Jacob Muir CONTRIBUTOR

According to Boston Pizza’s community relations coordinator, Nova Sekhon, “The sales going towards CapU’s bursary are around $300 or $400 so far.” She also added that she hopes to be able to create a named bursary so that they may “open it to anyone who needs financial help, including those who are struggling with rent.” The restaurant’s Community Give Back program has been highly successful in helping other community organizations, such as the North Shore Minor Hockey Association, who have been a part if it for many years. Usually, an organization goes to Boston Pizza and signs up for the program. However, Sekhon came to CapU because

she wanted to reach out to the students. She claimed that she “graduated with a lot of student debt” and is excited to launch this program as it’s the first time a university will be involved. Kirk and Sekhon hope that with the knowledge of this program, the community will be more keen to help CapU students. For more info on Boston Pizza’s Community Give Back program, contact (778) 3401514. For information on donating to the general bursary fund of CapU, visit Capilanou.ca/giving.

THE CAPILANO COURIER

VOLUME 49 ISSUE NO. 10

Since the beginning of the fall semester, a new donor has been contributing to the general bursary fund available for Capilano University students. Restaurant chain Boston Pizza, located on Esplanade North Vancouver, recently extended their Community Give Back Program to benefit students at CapU. The program calls for customers at the restaurant to sign “Capilano University” on the back of their receipt and be placed into a box located near the exit of the restaurant. In doing so, 10 per cent of

the customer’s marked bill will be given to CapU and will go towards the bursary. Anyone who wishes to support CapU through this program may do so and it is not restricted to staff and students of CapU. The 10 per cent is calculated off food sales only because BC liquor laws prohibit any encouragement of the sale of alcohol. Boston Pizza hopes to be able to create a named award in the future. “Ideally we would like for Boston Pizza to have their own named bursary, but the minimum requirement for creating one is $1,000. Otherwise, they can use the money to contribute to a general bursary fund,” said Jennifer Kirk, senior development officer at CapU.

EXTRA EXTRA: THE CAPILANO COURIER HAS RECENTLY UPPED ITS DISTRIBUTION GAME. YOU CAN NOW FIND CAPILANO UNIVERSITY’S STUDENT NEWSPAPER AT BOTH REGIONAL CAMPUSES IN SQUAMISH AND ON THE SUNSHINE COAST. HERE’S EDUCATION ASSISTANT STUDENT LORRIE KENT AND SUNSHINE COAST CAMPUS SUPERVISOR SUZANNE PERREAULT ENJOYING THE COURIER IN SECHELT.

NEWS

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A NETWORKING MIXER

CapU School of Business hosts red carpet event with style Ruby Woodruff CONTRIBUTOR

They say you shouldn’t mix business with pleasure, but the fourth annual Suit Up: A Red Carpet event will be doing just that. The event is organized by Capilano University’s School of Business and will give students and faculty the chance to mingle and network. Suit Up is taking place on Nov. 19 from 5:30 pm to 7:30 pm at the CSU Members’ Centre in LB 195. Sarah Johnson, Suit-Up organizer, believes that this is a great event for Capilano University because “[CapU] is a bit of a commuter school… There’s not a bar on campus or anything like that so it’s nice to get all the students together.” Appetizers, liquor, gift bags and raffle prizes will be available at the event. A professional photographer will also be taking free head shots for students to enhance their portfolios. Johnson adds that DJ O Show, a former CapU student, will be performing at the event. “She DJ's in Vegas and is very well known,” continued Johnson, “We’re really glad to have her.” Some of the prizes include two $25 gift certificates for Brown’s Restaurant, an emergency kit from WorkSafeBC as well as gift baskets from various other companies. More prizes will be announced on the event’s Facebook page.

DJ O SHOW Since it is a red carpet event, attendees are required to wear business professional attire with a white, black or red accent. The best dressed of the evening will win an award. Advance tickets can be purchased for $15 either online at Eventbrite.ca or at a ticket sales booth that will be set up in the Library building on Nov. 9 between 11:30 am and 2 pm and on Nov. 12 between 11:00 am to 1 pm. Otherwise, they will be sold at the door for $20.

All non-minors will receive a complimentary drink voucher with their ticket and are invited to attend the after party at Seymour’s Pub, which starts at 8 pm. There will be drink specials available for CapU students. Currently in its fourth year, Suit Up has become a very popular function. “They planned the first Suit Up in two weeks,” said Johnson, “[This] event broke a lot of ground in terms of rules at Capilano.” The event isn’t only for School of Busi-

ness students either. Anyone who studies at CapU is invited to attend this great opportunity to meet with peers and professionals in a casual setting. For more information, visit Facebook.com/ capilanouniversitybusiness or search for 'Suit Up: A Red Carpet Event.'

REVAMPING THE MARKET

University unveils new courses for Spring 2016 Christine Beyleveldt CAMPUS CORRESPONDENT

work in the field before they leave CapU, and it replaces 300 hours of required work experience. The practicum is community observation; students will spend two weeks observing behaviour and gathering data from various education services, including preschool, childcare, adult residential services and community recreational services. “So the… biggest barriers for folks coming in were [that] they had to have an associate’s degree and people who had other types of education were excluded,” said Stock. On average, the program predicts that over 50 per cent of all applicants are not eligible, simply because they have not yet received associates’ degrees. Now, courses will be available to all CapU students, whether for permanent study or simply elective credit. Overall, Stock suggests that with the upgrades, coursework will be readily available to all students with any level of interest in behaviour analysis. As for cost, “we already have one section in ABA that was unused,” he explained, so funds were transferred over from one year to

the next to cover the cost of upgrades. “The next budget year, there’ll be two budget sections added.” According to Primeau, new courses are approved at nearly every senate meeting, which adjourns on a monthly basis. Liberal Studies is frequently remodelling itself, and next semester Tourism will begin offering new courses specializing in hospitality. Criminology is also undergoing changes of its own. Criminology 101 is an immensely popular course according to Primeau. “I think Criminology is trying to tap into how many students want to take Criminology,” she said, so the department has approved the addition of 200- and 300-level courses.

VOLUME 49 ISSUE NO. 10

Shawna Primeau from the university’s Academic Advising department stated it more simply. “You do two years on Arts and Sciences, so you do an associate degree, and then the Applied Behaviour Analysis — autism — happens in years three and four.” A 400-level course will also be added to the roster, which will hone in specifically on the study of adults with developmental disabilities. “So it expands the continuum of client care, primarily at preschool and school age, then this opens up to folks who want to work with older people,” added Stock. The 100-level coursework will focus on the introduction to behaviour principles. “This is a general lump science of human behaviour,” explained Stock. At the 200-level, students will move into the applications of behaviour analysis. “So it’s going to include, you know, autism, education, relationships, the environment, business and industry,” he explained. The new practicum requirement will essentially allow students to begin their

THE CAPILANO COURIER

In January 2016, Capilano University’s Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA) program will begin offering a number of new courses as part of a transition from baccalaureate to Bachelor of Arts degree. The program encompasses a wide array of research-based education into the nuances of autism and other behaviour disorders. “The ABA program at Capilano has been around for six years,” said Richard Stock, ABA program coordinator and instructor. Currently the program exists as a two-year baccalaureate consisting of 300- and 400-level coursework only, with the minimum requirement that students have an associate’s degree upon application, so essentially it is reserved for specific program upper level students. “We’re in the process of changing the program profile for September to remove the associate’s requirement, and build into it a full four-year program,” said Stock, “[and] in an effort to move into the full four-year program we’re adding two courses at the 100-level and two courses at the 200-level, and there’s a practicum at each.”

CAP YOU

CARLO JAVIER

EXECUTIVE LIFESTYLE EDITOR CARLO.CAPCOURIER@GMAIL.COM

KICKING IT TO HIGH GEAR

Capilano Blues aim to bring home the national gold

— VANCOUVER SPORTS PICTURES

Carlo Javier EXECUTIVE LIFESTYLE EDITOR

Capilano Blues men’s soccer team is headed to Nationals. On Oct. 30, the team captured gold at the Pacific Western Athletic Association (PACWEST) tourney, beating the VIU Mariners 2-1 in the semi-final and the KPU Eagles 2-0 in the final. The provincial championship came after a tumultuous season that saw the team start the year with five losses, one draw and no victories. The team struggled right off the bat, receiving two red cards in each of its first two games, pitting the Blues in an early uphill battle. “We were making stupid mistakes, we weren’t getting the bounces, we had great opportunities and somehow the goalie would save it,” said Devan Woolley, centre midfield and team captain. Despite the early struggles, the Blues stuck to their goals and believed in the strength of their unity. “Things weren’t looking too good, but we knew we had a good team,” Woolley said. “I’ve been on the team for four years. Every year has kind of been the same story, start off slow and then we start playing, so we were expecting to turn it around and we did.” The Blues would go on to enjoy a fiery run, winning six games in a row and eventually finishing with the third best record in the PACWEST league. Trials and tribulations continued for the team even in the grandest stage of the PACWEST league. Their first game was against the Mariners, a team that beat them three

times during the regular season. The Blues once again found themselves undermanned after receiving a red card. “So we’re up a goal, and we got a red card,” Woolley recalled, “We were playing down a man for majority of the second half and they were just coming at us the whole time, shot after shot after shot.” Ultimately, the Blues were able to fend off the Mariners with defensive effort led by Woolley himself. “This guy was blocking everything, this guy was giving his all,” said goalkeeper Michael Girard. Woolley was awarded the Tournament MVP award for his efforts. The play of the Blues’ rookies was also instrumental in the team’s late season run and eventual provincial championship. One rookie that truly shone above the rest of the competition was Kristian Yli-Hietanen. The striker scored the goal that gave the team a comfortable 2-0 lead over the Eagles in the

championship match. His work throughout the season was also essential for the team’s much-needed winning streak, and was ultimately recognized by the league. Yli-Hietanen wound up winning the award for both Rookie of the Year and Athlete of the Year, as well as being CapU’s only player to be included in the Men’s Conference All Stars. He was also recognized as the leading goal scorer of the year. “I think they all just played like they were experienced players. I know my first year I was pretty timid, but they all played with tons of confidence, they know what they’re doing,” Woolley commented. For his guidance and effort in leading the team’s mid-season turnaround, Blues coach Paul Dailly was awarded the PACWEST Men’s Coach of the Year honour.

WHO YOU? LOGAN QUINN

Blurring the lines between a student and an instructor Christine Beyleveldt

THE CAPILANO COURIER

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CAMPUS CORRESPONDENT

Logan Quinn likes to describe himself as Tarzan out of the jungle, both in appearance and persona. Although his roots lie in Ontario, he has the British Columbian nature at heart. When the Courier met up with Quinn, he was found in the empty hallway of the Sportsplex, quietly meditating in a headstand. Quinn studies film in the Bosa Centre, as well as Kinesiology. “Humans are meant to be the ultimate generalists in the animal kingdom,” he responded when asked which of the two he preferred to specialize in. “It kind of robs you of the ability and opportunity to be fully human, you specialize too much and you lose your humanity.” It is precisely for that reason that Quinn dabbles in just about every field that takes his fancy, whether it’s martial arts or animation. As long as his body is moving, he’s happy.

Outside of his studies, Quinn teaches movement, what he describes as an organic form of motion that works all muscles and ligaments of the body. It’s not gymnastics, nor is it yoga – “My movement is basically my art form,” he remarked. “I can’t just perform with nobody being around, so if it’s stage or if it’s screen I need to have some sort of in on that.” That’s where his work in theatre comes in. Capilano University recruited Quinn to teach movement after he really put himself out. Already he’s worked with the actors for stage and screen, coaching them through movement, later joining forces with the Vancouver Circus School, teaching props, trampoline and aerial silk. “It is all over the place,” he said. “I’ve worked as a coach for bodybuilding and Olympic lifting, I’ve also studied music for many, many years. I used to be a percussionist.” As for his musical tastes though, Quinn can’t claim to have any. “I haven’t had a lot of chance to listen to music because I stay away from technology,” said Quinn. “If I listen to music its live performances.”

Quinn may only be 20 years old, but he’s enjoying his time. One can hardly say all work and no play when they’re one of the same. “[My free time] all revolves around my own education, basically, its just playtime,” he said. As for what you may find him doing in the future, it’s hard to say. “Big picture down the road would be opening my own gym in regards to movement education, but in natural habitats,” he remarked, as long as it has something to do with his movement. “It’s the full expression of what humans are supposed to be doing. If I don’t experience everything then I’m kind of robbing myself.”

This week, the Blues travel to Saint Lambart, Quebec with the goal of winning it all. The Blues will play a squad from Prince Edward Island with their first game, and the boys admit that their lack of knowledge about teams from across the country could be a challenge, “It’ll be interesting because PEI, we no nothing about their league, whereas here we know that any team in our league will be able to go to Nationals and compete,” Girard said. “They’re used to winning and they’re coming to win no matter what, while we’ve kind of been in the losing streak in the first part of our season.” The Blues travel Monday, Nov. 9 and play their first game on Wednesday, Nov. 11. They play their second game on Thursday and if they win, they get a bye to the final. The championship match is scheduled for Saturday, Nov. 14 at 5 pm.

OPINIONS

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BRINGING HOME THE BACON

Despite a cancer link, processed meats shouldn’t have you fearing the wurst Andy Rice EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

I just dropped $54.97 at an Italian deli the other day, mere hours after finding out that processed meats heighten the risk of cancer. It’s not that I think the World Health Organization (WHO) is feeding us a load of bologna here — they’re probably correct, but I simply prefer to live a life devoid of culinary fear. Chances are, I’m going to get cancer from something someday. I’d be proud, when the time comes, if bacon was the cause. You see, nearly everything causes cancer: salt, red meat, potato chips, hot tea, candles, birth control, baby food, BBQ meat, bottled water, bread, careers for women, chewing gum, Chinese food, deodorant, coffee, jewellery, kissing, mammograms, sausage, woodworking, orange juice, shellfish, soy sauce, peanuts, toothpaste, shaving your armpits, vegetables, wallpaper and winter. It’s not just microwaves and tanning salons anymore. You can get cancer from mowing the lawn or giving someone a blowjob. Do both at the same time and you’ll surely die within seconds, and it won’t even be from a malignant tumour. Back in October, the WHO reported that bacon and other processed meats were a Level One carcinogen, which essentially put them in the same category as ciga-

rettes, asbestos, alcohol and sunlight. While those things are hardly comparable, it was big news. Immediately, the media jumped to classify and quantify the risk using the opinions of various experts and scientific organizations. The WHO wasn’t one of them. Why? Because it isn’t the WHO’s job to define the risk. It’s only to tell you it’s there. The WHO is like Chicken Little. It will gladly tell you the sky is falling, but at no point will it tell you when it will fall, how much of it will fall or how badly it will crush you when it does. Therefore, on press day, there were many speculative and outdated figures floating around, and, of course, many members of the media chose the highest one for maximum fear-mongering potential. That’s how we ended up with statements like “1.8 ounces of processed meat daily will increase the risk of colorectal cancer by about 18 percent” from NPR on the same day the BBC was telling you “there is a 5.6 per cent risk of developing the disease over your lifetime; even if you pig out on bacon and ham every day, it only rises to about 6.6 per cent.” Here are the facts in Canada. According to the Canadian Cancer Society, colorectal cancer is the third most-commonly diagnosed cancer in the country, aside from nonmelanoma skin cancers. You have a one in 15 chance of developing cancer up here in the great white north. Of that number, approximately 25,000 people each year will be

diagnosed with colon cancer and 9,300 will die from it. In a country of around 35 million, that’s not too bad. I was quite happy to see Barry Carpenter, president of the North American Meat Institute, (yeah, that’s a real thing) giving many media outlets the reality check they needed. ”Scientific evidence shows cancer is a complex disease not caused by single foods and that a balanced diet and healthy lifestyle choices are essential to good health,"

he wrote in a statement. What he means is that even if you ate bacon for every meal, there’s a good chance it wouldn’t show up as a factor on your death certificate, although he still doesn’t recommend it. Even the WHO was forced to remind people of its role in the global scientific community. “The latest [International Agency for Research on Cancer] review does not ask people to stop eating processed meats but indicates that reducing consumption of these products can reduce the risk of colorectal cancer,” read an official press release dated Oct. 29. “WHO has a

standing group of experts who regularly evaluate the links between diet and disease. Early next year they will meet to begin looking at the public health implications of the latest science and the place of processed meat and red meat within the context of an overall healthy diet.” In other words, don’t jump to conclusions yet, because we don’t know all the facts. We don’t even know exactly which of the processed deli meats are the worst to eat, although just looking at a container of jiggly SPAM, or a flaccid Schneider’s wiener, I can almost feel my cells mutating from across the room. I’m going to bet those will top the list — and frankly, that’s fine with me. I prefer the more artisanal varieties anyways. Prosciutto, calabrese salami, capicola and bacon all landed in my cart with a thud the other day, and until I feel the thud of a terminal cancer diagnosis I’ll be eating them all in defiant moderation. If media big-wigs like NPR and BBC can pick their favourite number to use in their stories, then so can I here at the Courier. So I’ll tell you now right now that for every 100 people who stop eating bacon, only one will have avoided cancer. All, however, will have avoided the taste of cured pork, which is undoubtedly missing out on one of life’s greatest pleasures. When the universe (or your genetic history or your cells or your lifestyle) decides you’re going to die from cancer, there isn’t much a doctor can do to can save your bacon. You might as well eat it in the meantime.

ADS, BE GONE!

YouTube introduces $10-per-month commercial-free, premium version of platform Eric Wong CONTRIBUTOR

videos using Wi-Fi or data on the YouTube app and save them so they can watch them offline when there is no Wi-Fi or data connection available. This huge step will allow YouTube to keep its videos local and reduce the number of users using third party apps to download and save videos. In order to save storage space on the mobile versions, YouTube is giving its Red subscribers the ability to save videos in different video qualities, reducing the size of the video. In addition, there will be “10 web shows that will premiere exclusively for paying subscribers to Red, starting in January.” This is equivalent to Netflix which air shows that are only available to Netflix subscribers. Another huge benefit that comes with the subscription is an issue plaguing mobile users: multi-tasking. When the phone

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revenue through both paid subscriptions and regular videos with ads. The subscription not only says goodbye to ads, it also says hello to free music streaming. Currently, individuals who want unlimited Google Play Music are paying $9.99 per month. The music service Google Play Music is included in the Red package and lets subscribers stream an unlimited amount of music for free, making other music streaming services like Spotify virtually obsolete. One of the other perks of the subscription is the ability to download videos for offline viewing. Previously, if users wanted to watch YouTube videos without WiFi or a data connection, a third party app would be needed to download the video beforehand. With Red, users can download

THE CAPILANO COURIER

YouTube, the giant video streaming service, is stepping up its game. Starting Oct. 28 in the US, the Google subsidiary began releasing a one-month free trial version of its new service called Red. According to CNN Money, the $10-per-month service will include “no ads, the ability to save videos for offline viewing, and access to YouTube and Google's music streaming services.” This premium allows YouTube to compete with similar services like Netflix and Hulu. Unfortunately, there is no word as to when it will be released in Canada, but nonetheless, it is a subscription worth signing up for when it arrives north of the border. Nowadays, almost any video has an accompanying advertisement preceding it. Some ads can be 30 seconds or even 60 seconds long, and the video may or may not allow any skipping of the ad. A subscription to Red will remove these ads, a blessing to anyone who watches YouTube frequently. The move to adfree video sees creators receiving 55 per cent of the subscription revenues, a cut identical to the videos supported by ads. This way, YouTube will be generating

screen is off or another application is running, the video that is currently playing on the YouTube app will quit and the video will stop playing. There is no work around for this problem and it is frustrating when the background video needs to be playing but a different app is needed. Red eliminates this problem by allowing subscription members to have the videos playing while another app is running or the screen is off. Furthermore, there are options provided to a Red user which allows them to customize the settings when the YouTube app is closed while a video is still playing. This includes the ability to either continue the video in the background, or pause it and pick up where they left off later. Focusing on a premium subscription allows YouTube to tackle the other large competing video streaming services. Like all subscription services, there are many hurdles, but YouTube’s global dominance and large market share give it a much higher chance of succeeding. Plus, by offering other services such as free music and ad-free videos, it is able to reach a larger audience group. Price wise, it’s cheaper than Hulu which has an “$8-a-month version with additional shows and a $12-a-month without any ads,” compared to YouTube $10 subscription. Overall, Red’s all-in-one service will turn the hours into minutes without any ads and unlimited music.

OPINIONS

KEVIN KAPENDA

OPINIONS EDITOR OPINIONS.CAPCOURIER@GMAIL.COM

WOMEN OF BOND Christine Beyleveldt CAMPUS CORRESPONDENT

Spectre, the last instalment in Daniel Craig’s career as 007, hit theatres last Friday, and in anticipation of its premiere, critics have been lauding it for its unique feminine portrayal. Since the criticallyacclaimed secret agent first graced the screen in 1962 with Dr. No, James Bond has collected an assortment of boudoir candy according to Entertainment Weekly in the form of a harem of young women. Undoubtedly, they’ve undergone significant changes over the years, but Bond’s female accomplices are still just his arm decoration. We’ve seen them all, from secretary Tatiana Romanova, played by Daniela Bianchi in From Russia with Love in 1963, to fire and ice, portrayed by Halle Berry and Rosamund Pike respectively in Die Another Day in 2002. Without a doubt, Bond’s girls have evolved over the decades from damsels in distress to sharp-witted undercover agents and doctors, but they all have one thing in common: they have all been young women cajoled into Bond’s bed through their own vulnerability, usually sexual abuse at the hands of an antagonist. Let’s face it though, Bond is sexy, but he gets his women for the wrong reasons.

Spectre is offering something new, something that is sure to please the independent women of the world. Daniel Craig, who has played the infamous secret agent, womanizer and all around super-spy for the past 10 years, is set to go out with a bang. Not only is Spectre anticipated to be Craig’s fourth and final Bond film, but also the lead starring opposite him is making waves in the world of Bond. Italian actress Monica Bellucci, known as a screen siren, is the oldest woman to ever be cast as one of Bond’s girls. At age 51, she is significantly older than 007 himself. For women, this is a significant achievement in the film industry. Bond is famous for collecting an assortment of younger lovers, generally naïve but beautiful girls all significantly younger than himself, but an older actress just goes to prove that you can still be sexy into middle age and beyond as the actress herself puts it. “Women at 50 are nicer. We’re more seaworthy. And we’re sexier,” reported the National Post. For me, the concept of an older woman for Bond isn’t the revolutionary idea, but rather the fact that Bellucci’s character seduces 007. So often we see Bond taking women to bed, but for the first time fans will see a woman taking Bond to her bed. There’s nothing quite like a confident woman who knows what she wants, and isn’t afraid to go after it. In fact, Spectre adds another woman to the bevy of Bond’s sexual conquests,

— ANGELA ESTELLE

Spectre revolutionizes female roles in latest 007

though the actress doesn’t see her character as a conquest, but as a conqueror. French actress Lea Seydoux plays psychologist Madeline Swann, but she sees Bond for what he really is. “He’s an alcoholic, he’s a womanizer, he kills people,” she told the New York Daily News. “He’s not the best man to marry.” For Seydoux, her sexuality wasn’t what she wanted her character to be known for, despite it being the typical portrayal of a Bond girl. Seydoux matches Bond stunt for stunt, and just as aggressively in bed, but what takes the cake is that Bond will need to be saved by one of his women in the end. Bellucci has different ideas about

Bond. “The man is a protector, he is dangerous, mysterious and sexy, and a perfect English gentleman,” the Italian actress told the New York Daily News. Whether the actresses like Bond’s character or not, it’s a remarkable change for them to appear so sordidly independent from one another, and far more confident than any of Bond’s previous sexual liaisons. Over the course of Craig’s four-film Bond career, the women have certainly evolved. “These are strong human beings who have a major part to play in the movie,” he told Entertainment Weekly, certainly more selfposessed than previous Bond girls, who have had to be rebranded as Bond women.

PERMIT TO BIKE, PLEASE?

Vancouver city councillor calls for licensing of cyclists Jessica Lio

THE CAPILANO COURIER

VOLUME 49 ISSUE NO. 10

CONTRIBUTOR

In October, following reports of a cyclist nearly running over a pregnant woman in the Kitsilano area, Vancouver City Councillor Melissa DeGenova was inspired to bring forward a motion to enforce mandatory cyclist licensing and bicycle registration. While this proposal is mainly to make bike users more accountable for their actions, the rightleaning NPA councillor claimed that licensing would also benefit cyclists by lowering theft rates. While the concept of bike licensing isn’t new, it certainly hasn’t worked miracles in other North American cities where programs have been attempted. In most cases, the process is complicated; cyclists have to deal with layers of bureaucracy in order to register their bikes. Regardless of this barrier, many cyclists continue to ride unregistered bikes because of inconsistencies in enforcement. Keeping databases complete and current has proven to be difficult and expensive; many cities have discontinued their programs due to a lack of resources in staffing and funding to maintain licensing programs. Even if one municipality is able to come up with the

funds to keep the program running, there is no way to make other regions compliant. Licensing doesn’t focus on road safety education but rather on identification of bicycles, which leads the frustrated commuter to wonder: how can a cyclist be held accountable for obeying laws that they might not even know exist? Before any talk of licensing can even begin, it must be acknowledged that education should be a definitive goal of any mandatory program. There are three common claims that have been used time and time again to argue for licensing systems. First, it’s argued that cyclists should ‘pay their share’ for the roads. This reasoning stems from the misconception that roads and infrastructure are paid for only by motorists through vehicle registration and licensing fees. In Canada, transportation funds are mainly drawn from a city’s general fund; roads are a public asset and are paid for through taxes that are collected from nearly everybody. Expenditure reports show that only a fraction of these funds go towards bike-friendly infrastructure. Cyclists already do pay their fair share, if not even more. Second, licensing advocates say that a mandatory system will make cyclists more compliant to traffic laws. This has not been proven. The City of Toronto determined in its investigations that licensing itself did not

change the behaviour of cyclists who disobey traffic laws. The creation of a large bureaucracy to maintain a licensing system that does not include road safety education is simply not worth it. The third claim is that bike registration will reduce theft. The VPD has partnered with a Portland-based company, Project 529, to launch a free city-wide bike registry to reunite stolen bikes with their owners. The company keeps a photo database of each bike’s physical features and offers decals with unique serial numbers to deter bike thieves. Over 2,300 bikes were stolen in Vancouver last year, and while many wouldn’t deny the appeal of police-enforced anti-theft systems, a key part of the solution is teaching the public how to properly lock up their bikes to prevent bike theft. Without this knowledge, you could slap as many serial numbers on a bike as you want, but your bike could still be an easy target for thieves. If we wanted to support safe bicycling, we could take notes from Denmark and the Netherlands, countries where cycling is respected and depended on as the primary mode of transportation. We could fund education programs in primary and secondary schools that teach safe road skills at an early age, design our roads with protected bike lanes and reduce vehicle speeds to lower in-

jury rates for everybody on BC roads. The focus should be on encouraging safe cycling without wasting money on an inefficient and ineffective licensing program. The goals that licensing advocates claim to want to accomplish are not as simple as making bikers pay for a license. If Councillor DeGenova or any other politician declares that licensing is what cyclists need, it’s because they are trying to appear as if they’re “taking action”. It’s an audacious move to convince the public that no pregnant women are going to get run over on their watch ever again. What they are really proposing is an appeasement fee; make cyclists pay so that everybody else will shut up about it. The reality is, we develop habits based on what we’re taught. If we’re apathetic about road safety, it’s because we haven’t been taught to care about it. Let’s be clear about this. Safety should always be a cyclist’s top priority. The road is no place to show off or cycle carelessly. Improving pedestrian safety is just a matter taking responsibility; learn the traffic laws, be observant of your surroundings and share the damn road. And when you see a pedestrian crossing the street, the polite and Canadian thing to do would be to not run them over.

FEATURES

GABRIEL SCORGIE FEATURES EDITOR SPECIALFEATURES.CAPCOURIER@GMAIL.COM

MAKING EVERY VOTE COUNT

Alternatives to Canada’s first-past-the-post electoral system Kevin Kapenda OPINIONS EDITOR

RANKED BALLOTS

PR LIST VOTING Across many advocacy, and political groups’ agendas, including the NDP and Green Party, proportional representation is by and large the preferred alternative to first-past-thepost. International usage of the system also supports that position, with more than 81 countries around the world using some form of

proportional representation. Macanulty is optimistic that the new government will proceed with proportional representation after reviewing ranked ballot voting. “Proportional representation is a system of counting votes that puts voters first. It’s the only way to ensure that all voters are represented [in Parliament] after elections.” While the gist of proportional representation (PR) is rather ubiquitous, variations of the system do exist, including mixed member (MMP), single transferable vote (STV) and PR list setups. PR list voting is when parliaments are elected based on a party’s internal ranking of candidates. The percentage of candidates that are elected from each party will depend its share of the popular vote. STV, which had previously been voted on in two unsuccessful referendums in BC, is when candidates are ranked in large multi-member constituencies, forcing a candidate to receive a fixed percentage of the vote in order to be elected in a given region. MMP is a system that would allow Canada to keep its current FPTP system while also making sure Parliament’s composition is proportionate to the popular vote. This is done by reducing the amount of single member constituen-

cies, and awarding the rest of those seats by popular vote. Schouls believes that MMP would be the best way to conduct elections in Canada if proportional representation is to be proposed by government, after extensive review by the parliamentary committee for democratic institutions. While Schouls would like to see proportional representation in Canada, he believes that any attempt to change our electoral system should be subject to a national referendum. “My view is that if you’re going to change the system, you should consult the public by way of a national referendum.” After all, this would not be out of the ordinary, and does have precedent. Provincial referendums on electoral reform have been held on four Canadian provinces over the last fifteen years. If our voting system is to be changed, Schouls believes it should be greenlighted by the people who own and use it, the electors of Canada. “Ultimately, the electoral system belongs to us as citizens. It’s us who decide who get to office, and I think therefore it should also be up to us to decide how they get there.” As promised during the campaign, Trudeau will quickly establish an all-party parliamentary committee tasked with examining the various alternatives to FPTP, and eventually proposing what system they feel would best serve the Canadian people moving forward. What is certain at this point is that Canada will never use FPTP in federal elections ever again. While Trudeau’s position on proportional representation is gray and muddied, diverse support for that specific electoral system couldn’t be more decisive. Proportional representation in Canada is no longer a question of if, but when.

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With regard to ranked ballots in Canada, there is not much support for the system except from the new prime minister, Justin Trudeau, who expressed an interest in at least exploring the scheme during his early days as Liberal leader in 2013 and 2014. For Schouls, ranked ballots would not be a very substantive reform because the system does not seek to address disproportionality between the popular vote and seat count of third, and smaller parties. “Personally, I

do not feel that a ranked ballot system goes deep enough, because it does not necessarily get you a proportional representation of the popular vote in the House of Commons,” he said. Many candidates in Canada, often win their seats with more than 50 per cent of the vote anyways. Traditionally, it’s a party’s lack of support in certain regions of Canada that leads to them winning a majority government with less than 50 percent of the vote. Iain Macanulty of Fair Vote Canada believes that as long as we have a single member system, whether through plurality or ranked ballot, most voters would not be represented in elections due to a lack of proportionality. “Ranked ballots don’t solve the fundamental problem of first-past-the-post,” argued Macanulty. “In most elections with our system, only 50 per cent of voters are usually represented. The other 50 are not because of our single member system,” he said. “There are two classes of systems. One is proportional, and the other is not. Systems that are not include both first-pastthe-post and single member ranked ballots.”

THE CAPILANO COURIER

Last month, Canadians elected a new Liberal government led by our recently sworn-in prime minister, Justin Trudeau. Among the key proposals highlighted in the new administration’s platform are changes in the way we vote in federal elections. Electoral reform, as it’s commonly referred to, is an issue that has become popular in the years following 2011, when former Prime Minister Stephen Harper won majority government with only 40 per cent of the popular vote. Our current electoral scheme, known as a single member plurality (SMP) or first-past-the-post (FPTP) system, often results in single parties capturing more than 50 per cent of the seats in legislatures, with usually about 40 per cent of the popular vote and no more than half of it. In exchange for his majority, Trudeau promised that this would be the last time in which Canada used a system that many consider to be outdated and unfair to smaller parties. The hard part for the new government starts now though, in deciding which electoral system fits best, and how to go about mandating that change, whether through referendum or parliamentary procedure. Luckily for Trudeau though, two of the four opposition parties in Parliament, already have clear positions on what type of electoral form they want to see when our 2019 election rolls around. With regard to replacing FPTP, there are practically only two options that are widely used around the world. Those two electoral systems are known as proportional representation, which is widely used across Europe, and ranked ballot voting, which is most notably used in Australia. Capilano University political studies professor Dr. Tim Schouls described ranked ballot voting as a system that makes sure each member or representative receives a majority of votes at the riding level. “What a ranked ballot would ensure is that any individual elected in a riding carries at least 50 per cent or more of the popular vote,” explained Schouls. According to him, proportional representation on the other hand, is mostly concerned with making sure political parties’ seats in legislatures match their share of the popular vote, so majority governments cannot be elected by a minority of the electorate. “Proportional representation would be a system that seeks to ensure that the actual seat distribution is consistent with the proportionate share of the vote each party captured.”

FEATURES

Milana Bucan CONTRIBUTOR

THE CAPILANO COURIER

VOLUME 49 ISSUE NO. 10

Jacob Muir, an aspiring football player currently studying at Capilano University, suffered three concussions two years ago, and because of it his dreams of earning a university scholarship vanished. “I was heavy into football doing six days of training every week. During a game, I was tackling somebody, and my teammate was tackling them, and I collided with my teammate, causing a head to head collision.” After his third concussion, Muir had to take three weeks off from school but didn’t feel productive for another two months. “It took about three months until all of my cognitive capacity was back, until I could fully participate intellectually at school,” said Muir, who explained after the hit happened that he “blacked out for a little bit and was seeing stars for a while and had to go off field. I was seeing stars and I couldn’t get a full grasp of what was happening. I was very reactionary and couldn’t predict what was going to happen in 30 seconds, and felt quite out of it.” Concussions most often happen in football, hockey, rugby, soccer and basketball — sports that have body-to-body contact, or player-to-ground contact. “Especially in soccer there’s a lot of concussions from hitting the ball, tripping and just falling back onto the field, and from getting tackled and then hitting the ground,” explained Muir. The use of helmets in some sports such as football and hockey definitely reduce the risk of concussions and more serious head injuries, but they do not eliminate them. “People with traumatic brain trauma usually suffer in the areas of memory, typically around the frontal lobes of the brain,” explained Nathan Anderson, an advisor in the Accessibility Services department at CapU. “Someone with a concussion will have reduced executive functioning, which means the ability to concentrate, the ability to shift focus from one task to another — all these things are required for a university to succeed.” Dr. Cirelle Rosenblatt, founder and director of Vancouver Clinical Neuropsychology Services at Advance Concussion Clinic, explained that more serious injuries can also cause mental health problems, “because people can get quite depressed if they find they’re not as effective as they were and their capacity seem reduced.”

Symptoms that may not be evident right away may include “fogginess in the head, difficulty thinking, emotional changes, feeling very down or emotional in a way that is not typical for the individual,” she explained. According to Advanceconcussion.com, cognitive changes are easily recognizable with a brain injury in the form of “slowed processing of information, attention and concentration difficulties, problems learning and remembering new information, slower reaction times and feeling cognitively foggy.” Initial concussions that are not fully healed and are not given enough time and attention may lead to more serious long term consequences. “There is a cumulative effect, it magnifies the more concussions a person has. If there are one or two concussions and there is a lot of time in between for the brain to recover between these two, a person can reasonably expect to have pretty good recovery,” said Anderson.

If the first concussion is not fully healed, and the athlete returns to play sooner, a second concussion is likely to occur resulting in more severe consequences. “There is real vulnerability to that injured brain. Athletes are four times more likely to suffer a second concussion in their injured state and should they suffer a second injury before the first is fully resolved, it may cause complications [to the brain] and recovery may be prolonged and changes can become more permanent and long standing,” said Rosenblatt. The second concussion is known as Second Impact Syndrome (SIS) which happens when the brain swells rapidly. SIS happens when someone suffers a second concussion before the first one has fully healed. The second concussion can occur within minutes, days or weeks and can be fatal or leave athletes disabled for life. Sidney Crosby, one of Canada’s most famous and successful ath-

letes in National Hockey League (NHL), was hit in the head by Steve Downie during the 2011 Winter Classic. He finished the game and said he felt fine. Three days later, Crosby was hit in the head again by Tampa Bay Lightning defenseman, Victor Headman. Once again, he finished the game. It was the last game Crosby would play for 11 months, and it wouldn’t be until March 2012 that he was able to play regularly. On CBC’s The National, Peter Mansbridge sat down with Crosby to discuss his injury. “It’s a scary thing, there’s not necessarily a time frame where you feel like you’re getting better and then it could be just one day where everything seems to go back where you started,” said Crosby. He was one of the luckier ones to fully recover and be back in the game, without suffering any post-concussion consequences. He further explained that he was “glad that I didn’t come back until I was ready to come back, because you hear a lot, you see a lot of guys who come back too quickly and it could really affect their career.” Today, Crosby is not afraid to step on ice again, only because he has taken the adequate time to properly heal and complete his rehabilitation process. Problems with vision following a mild traumatic brain injury have been shown to affect up to 90 per cent of individuals who have suffered a concussion. Changes in vision can hugely impact daily functions such as driving and spatial awareness and can cause severe headaches if not treated in a timely manner. Depending on the severity of the injury, the recovery and rehab process can vary. “We have had some students who get right back at it, and don’t miss any time from school, but then of course others have a really severe brain injury and have to rehab for two years before going back to school,” said Anderson. “There are students who rebound after a few years, and within a couple of years they’re more or less where they were before and wouldn’t require any intervention or support. But then there are students who never regain their prior functioning and would constantly require both counselling support and support in terms of academic accommodation,” he said. Anderson explained that his team usually doesn’t see a student until they are back in school. “But, what we deal with is the longterm consequence of a head injury or postconcussion syndrome,” said Anderson. Offering services such as “extended exam times, adaptive technology for students, working with a tutor, and in some ways help with

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learning to re-learn, because they just find that they’re not nearly as effective as they once were.”

— ZOE SOFIANOS

VOLUME 49 ISSUE NO. 10

Educational institutions, coaches, sport facilities and individuals involved in sports should have a concussion management plan in place. “The [Advance Concussion Clinic's] mission statement is that this is a [preventable] and treatable injury, but there are still high-school athletes dying because of it,” said Rosenblatt. If someone does have a concussion, careful rehabilitation and care should follow immediately. It was once believed that staying in a dark place without using the computer, being on your cellphone, or really stimulating the brain was the best way to recover. Recent research has determined that may only be ideal for the first 24 hours. “Rest is really only recommended for 24 hours after

THE CAPILANO COURIER

Concussions or mild traumatic brain injuries are due to a hit to the head or the body, causing the brain inside the skull to rapidly shake. The brain is made up of soft tissues, cushioned by spinal fluid and protected by the skull. When a concussion occurs, the brain moves around in the skull which can sometimes lead to bruising, damaged blood vessels and injury to the nerves. This can lead to neurological, cognitive and emotional problems in a person. According to Statistics Canada, over 94,000 concussion and concussion-related brain injuries are reported each year. Nearly a third of reported concussions occur among youth between the ages of 12 and 19. Sixty per cent of those concussions are sports-related, and every year, a large number of concussions are not reported. The scariest of all is that deaths caused by concussions are both preventable and treatable, but the injury isn’t always diagnosed properly. “The most common symptoms are headache, dizziness and nausea,” said Rosenblatt. “Many people will experience some change in their vision, having blurriness and some alteration in vision functioning usually for a relatively brief period of time.” Any suspected treatment and follow up of a hit to the head or the body should be taken seriously and consulted by a physician. “Concussions are getting more media attention now, but years ago people didn’t take it seriously. You get a concussion no big deal, get back in the game,” said Anderson. “But now we are recognizing that it’s a significant long-term problem if it’s not addressed immediately.” “A concussion is a mild traumatic brain injury and all traumatic brain injuries are serious,” added Rosenblatt, “So, the language of mild brain injury or concussion is really misleading and it denies some of the seriousness and danger associated with the injury.” Many athletes may underestimate and neglect the symptoms associated with having a concussion. Headaches, inattention, fatigue, memory lapses and overall cognitive skills may be overlooked and not taken seriously. Regularly visiting a sports doctor and going through psychological counselling is a good way to keep track and noting any changes that may occur during the rehab process.

A lot of people are uninformed, or misinformed about concussions. “Education around [concussions] is still not well established,” said Rosenblat. “There is a lot of confusion about the symptoms and how concussions can occur, and without the awareness there can’t be any ability to track and determine whether the concussions result in a reasonable time period.” Rosenblatt believes that base line testing should be done for any individual involved in any sport, especially those where concussions could be more prone. Base line testing typically takes about an hour, assessing every system that would be injured in a concussion and establishing and documenting what the norm is for that individual. Base line tests act as something that the doctors can refer back to post-concussion. If an athlete has had a base line test done and comes into the clinic after their concussion, it is then easily determined whether the person has suffered a concussion and how severe it is.

the injury, and we have seen patients who have been fooled by their physicians to rest for weeks and months on end, and that is not the practice today for management of a mild traumatic brain injury, because it can increase sensitivity to the different triggers that cause the symptoms in the first place,” said Rosenblatt. “The brain needs to rest in the immediate aftermath of the injury and then careful introduction of what normal daily function is needs to begin almost immediately.” She also pointed out that “the management at that point should involve, first of all, returning to learn before returning to play, and that has to be fully achieved before any athlete should be back at play. That requires then that the school knows the student athlete who has had a concussion that is not fully resolved but who has the ability to be at school for a period of time. The BC education system need to manage this more efficiently, because they either have mistaken protocols or not protocols for how to manage these athletes.” Any individual involved in extra-curricular activities, especially sports, should have a concussion management plan in place and have a completed base line test to refer to. “[Students] should be active, they should be in sports, they should be able to suffer any injury including a mild traumatic brain injury, have recoveries occur as efficiently and seamlessly as possible, and get back to their lives fully after such an injury,” Rosenblatt explained. “And, the reason why we’re losing kids is because we are not doing our job.”

CALENDAR NEWS

09 MONDAY

PUSH FESTIVAL LAUNCH PARTY

FOX CABARET 7 PM • $20

Every fall, the PuSh Festival throws a big bash and announces its annual programming. “Artistic and executive director Norman Armour will unveil the full 2016 PuSh Festival programming and artist lineup,” says the website. “The evening will be hosted by local funnyman Charlie Demers.” The 12th annual festival will run from Jan. 19 to Feb. 7 at various venues around the city.

KURT COBAIN: MONTAGE OF HECK

VANCITY THEATRE 8:30 PM • $7 + MEMBERSHIP FEES

ANDY RICE

CALENDAR EDITOR EDITOR@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

15 10 TUESDAY

This is a documentary about the life of Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain. Though he’s been dead for over 20 years, his music and legacy still live on. Director Brett Morgan managed to achieve something rare these days in documentary filmmaking — the cooperation of Cobain’s family, widow, and daughter, resulting in a film that tells the raw and real story behind a troubled man and his everlasting music.

BIRCH 265 12:30 PM • $ FREE

Although CapU has inadvertently been the cause of several of my breakups over the years, I see now that the counselling department is offering some assistance to get you through your own. How nice. “Ending a relationship is always difficult,” says the website. “In this workshop you will learn how to become a stronger, better person… and how to deal with the emotional impact.” Go you.

In Coastal City Ballet’s five short years as a dance company, “Fall for Ballet” has become a popular tradition. In addition to excerpts from the classic tutu ballet “Paquita,” three original creations by renowned choreographers Wen Wei Wang, Joshua Beamish and Coastal City Ballet’s artistic director Li Yaming will be performed. I’m going to bring my tutu just in case they need me.

WEDNESDAY

Am I the only one that thinks Circle Craft sounds dirty? Yeah? Dang it. Well, this is opening night for one of the largest and longest-running craft shows in the city. It runs until Nov. 15 and features 306 vendors, most of whom you can meet, offering everything from woodcraft to blown glass, sculptures, pottery, clothing, toys and jewellery.

BROTHERS IN ARMS

ST. ANDREWS-WESLEY UNITED CHURCH 8 PM • $10 TO $40

Vancouver mens’ choir Chor Leoni offers one of the most beautiful Remembrance Day traditions around, at least according to my buddy who’s been in Chor Leoni for the past few seasons. He’s super humble, as you can tell. Anyways, the choir will present works ranging from Carl Orff and Dire Straights to Lee Hoiby and Billy Joel. Lest I forget the words to Piano Man.

12 17 THURSDAY

CREATIVE KISSING

13 FRIDAY

VOLUME 49 ISSUE NO. 10 THE CAPILANO COURIER

GOOD FOR GRAPES

THE IMPERIAL 7 PM • $15

When my band recorded a new album last year, we used a studio that was co-owned by Good For Grapes’ drummer. Their lead singer lived on the couch there, which always struck me odd because they won $102,700 in the Peak Performance Project just few months before. Currently, they’re touring their latest album, The Ropes, which I think is where all their money went.

BUYING AND SELLING ON CRAIGSLIST

If you’re desperate enough to pay $49 for a few smooching tips, it’s safe to assume that you’re probably a horrific disappointment in the bedroom. You’re also an idiot, because you can totally practice that shit at the Roxy for free. “Enjoy two hours of playful intimacy with your partner,” says the event page, and “please bring cushions and blanket to lay on!” Ugh.

In this 90-minute hand-on session, some random Craigslist expert will teach you how to buy and sell using the popular classifieds website. Craigslist has over 60 million users worldwide, with its headquarters located in San Francisco in what looks like just a regular old house. The Courier has classifieds too, but our office looks more like a bottle depot.

BURNABY BEER FEST

SPACERAFT 8 PM • $35 + SC

There’s nothing I love more than a good beer festival. I’m not sure if Burnaby Beer Fest is a good one per se, but there’s local booze running freely, so how bad can it be? You show up, pay your $35 and spend an evening tasting seasonal offerings from select micro-breweries. There’s also food and live entertainment, but it won’t get you drunk. Tickets at Eventbrite.ca.

JERRY SEINFELD

QUEEN ELIZABETH THEATRE 7 PM AND 9:30 PM • $79 TO $125

RICH AUCOIN

Usually when Rich Aucoin comes to Vancouver he plays at the Commodore but some country rocker beat him to it this time so he’s performing at the Fox instead. One of my friends saw him live a few years ago and recalls him being a total weirdo in the most energetic of ways. Apparently the onstage spectacle involved a parachute, glitter and the accidental shedding of his own blood.

14 14 SATURDAY

ONE MAN LORD OF THE RINGS

EVERGREEN CULTURAL CENTRE 8 PM • $15 TO $35

Okay, this is pretty impressive. Some dude named Charles Ross has condensed the entire 10hour Lord of the Rings trilogy into just 65 minutes, performing 42 character impressions all by himself. He’ll take you on an outrageous journey from the Shire to the fire, armed with elbow pads and a keen imagination. My first girlfriend had elbow pads and a keen imagination too.

FASHION AVANT-GARDE: NOW AND THEN

MUSEUM OF VANCOUVER 7 PM • $20 TO $25

This event offers a mash-up of past and present fashion trends “featuring the work of 12 Vancouver designers, active in diverse areas of contemporary fashion: eco fashion, wearable technology, Indigenous fashion, wearable art, fashion technology, and haute couture.” Their work will be juxtaposed with pieces from Vancouver fashion historian Ivan Sayers’ personal collection.

YOGA TEACHER TRAINING SAMPLER CLASS

SEMPERVIVA KITS BEACH 1:30 PM • $ FREE

If you’ve ever had even the slightest curiosity about becoming a yoga teacher, then this is the event for you. Not only is it free, but you get the chance to see what it’s all about before paying a bunch of tuition fees. I would imagine this requires some experience, but it doesn’t say that on the website so I’m going to show up full Lulu gear and troll the shit out of everyone.

MAIN STREET VINYL RECORD FAIR HERITAGE HALL 11 AM • $4

Vinyl is back, baby! Or maybe it never left. There’s just something about these cumbersomeyet-fragile discs that has stood the test of time. Unless, of course, they’ve been stacked poorly, ruined by fingerprints or stored in a place that’s too damp, too warm or too cold. This fair boasts over 50,000 carefully-preserved records from every genre you can imagine.

LAUGH YOUR SEXY ASS OFF

BILTMORE CABARET 8 PM • $9 TO $17

The name of this event makes it sound like a comedy show, but I promise you it’s a night of burlesque featuring several local and out-of-town performers I’ve never heard of. It’s sponsored by Womyn’s Ware and just by attending you have a “chance to win incredible sex toys” in a live-action game show. What makes them incredible? Lasers? Bluetooth compatibility?

“Led by genealogy experts, this workshop will teach you the concept of genealogy and family history, and provide you with easy steps to start finding your ancestors,” says the description on the website. Just be prepared for what you might find. You could either be related to someone really awesome or really terrible. What if your girlfriend is actually your cousin?! Awkward.

VPL CENTRAL BRANCH 2 PM • $ FREE

FOX CABARET 7 PM • $15 + SC

SUNDAY

GENEALOGY FOR BEGINNERS

WEST VANCOUVER MEMORIAL LIBRARY 2 PM • $ FREE

ART OF LOVING 7:30 • $49

The man who brought you the show about nothing is coming to Vancouver. Hopefully his standup show is about something, because that would really suck if it was just recycled Seinfeld jokes, as hilarious as they were back in the 90s. Lately, he’s been busy with a new show called Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, which is exactly what it sounds like.

A$AP ROCKY AND TYLER, THE CREATOR

ROGERS ARENA 7 PM • $29.50 TO $65 + SC

BREAKING UP AND LETTING GO WORKSHOP

FALL FOR BALLET

CIRCLE CRAFT CHRISTMAS MARKET

I didn’t know who this guy was until I watched the movie Searching for Sugar Man on Netflix. He was a struggling singer in Detroit back in the 70s and pretty much gave up on his career until someone finally informed him that he had a huge following in South Africa, outselling even Elvis there. In the 90s, two fans found him, made a documentary and now he’s touring again.

Oh look, it’s A$AP Rocky, Tyler, the Creator, Vince Staples and Danny Brown all rapped up on the same bill. According to our features editor, the last time Tyler was in town he had no voice and Brown was so high on Molly he forgot the words to his own song. Hopefully this time around these guys can top their last performance. I think they’re going to need more Molly.

CENTENNIAL THEATRE 8 PM • $20 TO $30

VANCOUVER CONVENTION CENTRE WEST 10 AM • $12

RODRIGUEZ

VOGUE THEATRE 8 PM • $60 + SC

CREATIVE KISSING

ART SHORTS NEWS

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THE INTERNET

LEON BRIDGES

THE ZOLAS

GANG SIGNS

Oct. 31, The Alexander

Nov. 3, The Commodore

Nov. 5, The Imperial

Nov. 5, Fortune Sound

Carlo Javier

Mark Crickmay

EXECUTIVE LIFESTYLE EDITOR

The Internet wasn’t always like this. The jazz/R&B band initially faltered out of the gate, as the duo of Sydney Bennett and Matt Martin, though they showed potential, seemed to have their style and intentions all over the place. Maybe the early struggles were due to the shadow cast upon them by their original claim to fame – they were members of Tyler the Creator’s uber-popular hip-hop collective, Odd Future, after all. Or maybe it was simply because they needed some help. During their Halloween show at The Alexander, The Internet displayed exactly why having a full band helped the group unlock its true potential. Vancouver stood as one of the last stops in The Internet’s North American tour in support of their acclaimed third album, Ego Death. The band opened their set with the album opener “Get Away,” a fitting song to start their show, considering the brewing rainstorm that marred most Vancouverites’ Halloween night. The costume-clad, sold-out crowd of The Alexander eagerly sang along with Bennett’s soulful, smoky voice, to the point that her Aaliyah-esque vibe would get drowned by front row fans who just couldn’t resist letting everyone know that they knew all of The Internet’s lyrics. Though Bennett consistently exhibited her skill, as songs like “Love Song -1” and “Palace/Curse” showed off her effortless range, it was bassist Patrick Paige — dressed as Pharrell Williams — and keyboardist Jameel Bruner who truly shined. Paige’s masterful work with the bass held the structure for the entire set list, as he skilfully guided each and every seamless song transition. On the other hand, Bruner, the younger brother of multi-genre bass virtuoso Stephen “Thundercat” Bruner, provided the shows eclectic tones. Not only did Bruner bring the exuberance through the keys, he also had the show’s best dance moves to boot. The Internet didn’t initially receive the critical acclaim that you would expect them to get, at least not until Paige, Bruner and understated drummer, Christopher Smith, joined the group on a full-time basis. On Halloween, by surrounding Bennett’s smooth vocals with talented instrumentalists and letting them shine, The Internet showed how exactly they transitioned from an overlooked Odd Future subset into a must-watch jazz/R&B band.

Timeless is the word that comes to mind when describing Leon Bridges’ music. His debut album, Coming Home, has been described as a breath of fresh air in the overtly electronic sound that’s taken over the pop and R&B music scene. His presence and overall style harkens back to the 50s and 60s, when soul icons such as Sam Cooke and Otis Redding walked the earth. It doesn’t do it justice to say that Bridges and his touring band simply brought their retro sound to Vancouver, as on Nov. 3, the entire Commodore Ballroom was seemingly transported back to the mid20th century. The singer from Forth Worth, Texas crooned, danced and at times “took the crowd to church” with some hauntinglybeautiful gospel tunes, “And I ain’t talking about no Hozier,” he joked. Before Bridges and his band took the stage and subsequently transported the crowd back to the 60s, Colombian singer Kali Uchis first treated the audience with an outstanding set herself. The songstress performed tracks off of her genre-bending EP, Por Vida, venturing into reggae, doowop and indie pop with tunes such as “Know What I Want” and “Loner.” Yet, it was a smooth cover of Bob Marley and The Wailers’ “Waiting in Vain” and her show-stealing guitarist that truly highlighted her set. As for Bridges, music wasn’t the only element. The velvet curtains and the entire band in suits only added further layers to his set’s ultra nostalgic feel. Songs like “Twistin and Groovin” and “Better Man” had the raucous crowd very much twisting and grooving. While his host of new material also generated an overwhelmingly positive reception from the enthused audience. Bridges’ new songs signal that the artist is sticking with his throwback sound, with some new hints of doo-wop and swing. Hit single, “Coming Home,” ignited a lovely sing along with the audience and the ultra danceable track, “Smooth Sailin,” juxtaposed with the earnest “Shine” best exhibited the range of Bridges’ retro sound. But it was in the end where the throwback soul artist truly showed the crowd why his ascent to stardom was as meteorically fast as it was. With the band exiting the stage, Bridges and back-up singer Brittni Jessie were left at the stage to play the album and show closer, “River.” It was nothing short of spiritual. Jessie was angelic and Bridges was captivating. Just like the tunes of the Reddings and the Cookes of the world, Bridges’ too could last forever.

It didn’t matter whether The Zolas were playing songs from their upcoming album Swooner, their breakthrough record, Ancient Mars, or their 2009 debut, Tic Toc Tic. The band was still going to get a raucous reaction from the sold out Imperial crow on Nov. 5. They’re hometown heroes after all. The show began with an energetic opening set from Fine Times. Although the band showed off the sleek and lively material from their recent EP, Bad::Better, the performance was hindered by lead singer Matthew Moldawan’s borderline obnoxious attempt at witty banter. The singer seemed to be caught up with an undisclosed desire for a failed stand up comedy career, to the point that he actually mind-bogglingly, joked about toilets in the Imperial. Those bathrooms are nice. Violinist Hannah Epperson followed and essentially became some sort of human Febreze. Epperson showed off the wit and connection with the crowd that was much needed after Moldowan’s lacklustre antics. Her raspy and smoky vocals provided excellent chemistry with her virtuoso violinist skills and her majestic set blended well with the venue’s classy and artsy vibe. As for The Zolas, their set featured a fair mix of songs from their discography. Hits like “Knot in My Heart” and “Ancient Mars” had the crowd singing along and jumping away, with the latter inducing a funny interaction with lead singer Zachary Gray and crowd. Gray changed songs midway through “Ancient Mars” simply to tease the crowd, “You think you know the lyrics?” he playfully joked, only to refrain back to the song’s infectious chorus. Songs from recent EP,Wino Oracle, included anecdotes and backstories for tracks like “Fell in Love with New York” and “Molotov Girls.” While throwback tracks from Tic Toc Tic, such as “You’re Too Cool,” drew a rave reaction from longtime fans, which Gray noted to be mostly the people standing in front of the stage. Towards the end of show, Gray grabbed one of the keyboards and headed to middle of the scrum to play show closer and Ancient Mars standout “Escape Artist.” The intimate performance had people standing on chairs and tables to see the The Zolas frontman sing in the middle of a very tight-knit space. The image of Gray, his detached keyboard and the crowd circling him best exemplified the overarching theme of the entire show: hometown heroes not only gave a terrific performance, they also got a much-deserved hometown welcome.

As the blue and red lights trickled through the smoke screen creating a soft ethereal flair, a chattering crowd looked towards the stage in anticipation. The energy in the room grew steadily as silhouettes moved back and forth, making preparations on the stage. Suddenly, the stars of the night lit up the front. With a sound as smooth and delicate as dark chocolate, Gang Signs opened their set. Peter Ricq, Adam Fink and Matea Sarenac delivered a solid performance while individually expressing their unique flavours. Sarenac and Ricq harmonize just as fluidly through songs live as they do on recordings. Sarenac sported a black and white speckled journal on top of her keyboard stand, likely containing lyrics and performance notes. Meanwhile Fink swayed with a focus and multitasking purpose that would have Stephen Morris shedding joyful tears. Ricq took to the forefront with a vintage-looking Stratocaster, a discerning look and utmost vocal sincerity. His guitar lines were soft like honey on a sponge cake — filling and gentle. Toting “I got something for you” during “Antidote,” the group picked the crowd’s spirits up and had an extended awkward dance from a couple that just couldn’t get enough. All egos were pushed aside, to the extent that Vancouver audiences allow, as the whole crowd was induced by chill vibes and slightly non-judgemental vibes. Gang Signs coasted through “Mate” and “Antidote” creating the chill-induced vibe that got people swaying. Hitting hard with “LA on Monday” and swelling into “Silver”, the group played to the crowd’s desire to groove and tear into their internal self with wrenching melodies and lyrics to question life to. The set ended with “SW” before anyone knew what had hit them. Some of Ricq’s final whispers, “when I opened my eyes, we were a single number,” united the crowd over top of a driving beat, a Joy Divison-like guitar line, and dancey hi-hats. Ricq put down his guitar and started drumming at the side of Fink’s kit and finally moving to mix with Sarenac as they closed the set. An entranced crowd roared clearly left wanting more, yet fulfilled by a focused set from a talented group of musicians.

VOLUME 49 ISSUE NO. 10

EXECUTIVE LIFESTYLE EDITOR

THE CAPILANO COURIER

EXECUTIVE LIFESTYLE EDITOR

ARTS & CULTURE EDITOR

NEWS ARTS & CULTURE

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CAP U ESSENTIALS: BRODIE WISHART Retail marketing graduate turned artist SILVER CHOKER NECKLACE

Mark Crickmay

THE CAPILANO COURIER

VOLUME 49 ISSUE NO. 10

ARTS & CULTURE EDITOR Not everyone dreams of working for a nonprofit organization while occasionally cameoing as a barista and backpacking their life across the world, but Brodie Wishart is that person. Clocking in at 24 years young, Wishart has already organized, designed and promoted a successful public art show called “Art Noise” in collaboration with To The Max Cycling Club which was held at the Settlement Building back in early August. “I [had] just got my Retail Marketing certificate and took an event organizing class. That’s when I threw Art Noise” stated Wishart. Art Noise was also held to benefit the BC Cancer Foundation with supplies provided by the Juice Truck, Vancouver Urban Winery and Postmark Brewery. Aside from being an artist and event organizer, Wishart attended CapU to obtain her Retail Marketing certificate. “I did two years of general studies at Cap where I basically just read all the class descriptions and picked something that sounded interesting to me. At one point I took criminology, painting, philosophy and environmental sciences. I went there on and off and went backpacking in between.” Here, we take a look at what items live and breathe with Wishart and have earned the right to be called her daily essentials.

“It's hard to get this thing off me, I even shower in it. I'm a 90's baby. I got it at Front & Co. this year and I’ve worn it every single day since. I bought it to replace an old one that I also wore all the time, that I made,” explained Wishart, modestly admitting that she has many hidden skills the world has yet to discover.

BURT'S BEES COCONUT FLAVOUR “Gotta keep hydrated and juicy. Coconut — original is the one I like, but this is the one I have at the moment.” An essential for so many, though given the significant wear on the packaging clearly this one is deserving of Wishart’s daily carry.

THICK RIM GLASSES “Got these non-designer thick frames for cheap — they’re practical and a statement piece. They’re from Visionworks Optical in Capilano Mall. I got two pairs of glasses, the lenses and my prescription checked for $200; that’s the kind of shopping I like to do.” Thrifty never looked and felt so good, the frames retain a vintage appeal without breaking the bank.

AURA CACIA TEATREE OIL Given the nature of Wishart’s other spirited items, it’s clear that a holistic approach to life is essential to picking daily carries. “Good for zits

and everything else. I have used this for years, my mom used to put it in my ear if I had an infection — it’s just been with me ever since.”

BLACK TOQUE “Just a black beanie, always tucked away for a chilly day or adventure” — essential to most Vancouverites — the black toque, or beanie if you’re from the US, adds an artistic dimension to any welcoming head of hair.

BLACK UMBRELLA “Vancouver,” stated Wishart. “Rarely do I buy these. I think I got this at Shoppers [Drug Mart], but I go through so many of them it’s crazy.” It’s nearly impossible to live in this city without having at least one defence mechanism for the rain, Wishart sticks to the classics with this one — black, compact and easy to replace.

POCKET MIRROR “I got this trippy mirror in Vietnam. I almost like the way it looks and what it reminds me of more than I actually use it. It was some time in 2014, backpacking on a trip to southeast Asia for four months with no itinerary. I think I bought this for like $1 less than it was offered from a street vendor.”

COLLECTION OF SILVER RINGS RINGS What may look simple on the outside actually holds vivid nostalgic memories for Wishart in-

ternally. “I have a ring fetish. Some of them are from travels and have little memories to go along with them. Two of these are from Nepal that I wear all the time. One is not a ring, it’s a foreign object that I found on the ground. Two of them are from my mom in Mexico — one is from a flea market by a local designer. They’re silver rings, always.”

BLACK ANKLE BOOTS Not showing too much wear yet, Wishart’s ankle boots dress up as much as they dress down. “Essential to my almost always black-on-black wardrobe. I got these at Urban Outfitters, just picked them up this season — I get one to two per season because I’m so hard on my boots.”

SIX-SPEED FREE SPIRIT BIKE Probably the staple “carry”, if it can be called that, within Wishart’s collection — this green six speed with the label ‘Free Spirit’ meshes seamlessly with her persona and sensibility. “My ex boyfriend’s mom found this bad boy beside a dumpster. It's my favourite colour and it's name is 'free spirit'. Who needs a car when you live in the city and have a bike?”

BLACK LEATHER PURSE What better to go along with Wishart’s blackimbued theme than a black leather purse to carry everything in? “It’s from Plenty. I like to try and have a small purse, otherwise things get lost — and this way [I’m] forced to carry less.”

ARTS & CULTURE NEWS

MARK CRICKMAY

ARTS & CULTURE EDITOR ARTS.CAPCOURIER@GMAIL.COM

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER

Arts & Entertainment Management students bring CapULive 2015 to life Brianna England CONTRIBUTOR

Four Capilano University students are single-handedly organizing a concert as part of their studies in the Arts & Entertainment Management (AEM) program. The event, entitled CapULive 2015, has been spearheaded by Jenny Bara, Rebecca Blaser, Jay Thomas and Olivia Wachter and will take place on Nov. 12 at Studio Records. All proceeds will benefit Vancouver Rape Relief and Women's Shelter. The two-year diploma program offers a variety of class and field work, allowing students to get a real taste of the arts and entertainment industry. Greg Robinson, the program’s laboratory supervisor, describes the program as “a blend of classroom work and practical experience… The classroom stuff is in a format familiar to anyone who's gone to school: you learn things, write tests and assignments and receive a grade for your work. The topics include tours, record labels, venues and festival management…” For AEM students, multitasking is the name of the game. “We [also] have a ton of projects and responsibilities on the go: keeping our concession

stocked, planning an opening night reception for Treasure Island [an Exit 22 Production], making sure we have enough ushers scheduled for every show, and planning a Christmas party for those same volunteers,” said Robinson. “All of this is to prepare students for two practicum placements that come at the end of the program and those are also real-world gigs that provide a transition to employment.” The program is fast-paced and handson with the students also volunteering for different shows over the school year. The type of shows range from those produced by CapU’s own theatre company, Exit 22 Productions, to concerts at the Kay Meek Centre and include roles such as artist liaison, front of house, concession and merchandise. The students are assigned the positions whether they have experience or not. With the guidance and support of their supervisors and other classmates they figure it out to the best of their abilities to ensure that the events run smoothly. Everything leads up to the CapULive event at the end of the year. Each semester a small group of students takes on the role of planning and organizing an event with a long to-do list and a limited budget. “Planning

CapULive is a rollercoaster of emotions. You start with one solid plan and somehow it all manages to take a complete different turn,” stated Bara Despite the stress and anxiety the students are faced with, there’s a sense of pride waiting after the final bow. “I know that after all this chaos and lack of sleep it will all be worth it because we’re bringing two amazing local musicians and giving them some spotlight while raising funds for the women's shelter who are always appreciative of any kind of donation,” she said. Planning the event has already opened a lot of doors for the students, from contacting industry professionals to developing the skills needed to make the event happen in a limited amount of time. “I am networking with people in the arts industry and building a contact list. I am learning how to put on events that can be applicable to many other situations. I can already see how many of the skills I am developing and learning through this process are going to be needed in the entertainment industry,” Bara explained. “This program is teaching me to be able to deal with many different situations, good or bad, and to find a solution,” added Wachter.

Planning a show at a young age is arguably one of the best ways to break into the industry and potentially obtain a job in the entertainment field after graduation. “If these students can express what they've learned in resumes, cover letters and job interviews, they'll be in a position to impress prospective employers,” said Robinson. However, there is a common misconception in the arts and entertainment industry: that there are no jobs and it’s a pointless path to follow. Robinson assures that may not be the case. “We often see our students hired by the businesses that have had them as practicum students, and of course we're very proud of that.” The CapULive 2015 event is set for Nov. 12th at Studio Records on Granville Street. The pre-sale starts at $10 but tickets will also be available at the door for $12. The event is 19+ and Vancouver’s own Eliza Smith and Missy D are performing, with an afterparty hosted by DJ Daniel Hogarth. Doors open at 7 pm with the show starting at 8 pm.

SPARK!-ING CURIOSITY

An evening of cultural and educational devices Mark Crickmay ARTS & CULTURE EDITOR

ing closely with artists and VIVO [Media Arts Centre] to coordinate SPARK!.” While SPARK! attempts a unique approach to integrating science and art, it also aims to expand into alternate target markets. “We hope that we can appeal to a wide demographic — not simply those who are keen on the scientific knowledge and information, but also those who are looking for new ways to share and experience science,” said Liao. “It has been really exciting to see a very mixed crowd in our past two events; we hope that will continue at SPARK! and our future events. We also plan to expand to other areas, such as music, culinary arts, writing, just to name a few — to facilitate more crossover between science and other disciplines and to break down the barriers.” Part of what makes SPARK! and Curi-

osity Collider stand out amongst the crowd is their focus on collaboration. “There have been organizations — Telus World of Science, UBC Beaty Biodiversity Museum, Nerd Nite and Emily Carr, perhaps more — to host events with flavours of art and science. From our understanding though, Curiosity Collider is the first to focus specifically on the interdisciplinary and collaborative aspects of science and art,” she said. SPARK! will be held at the VIVO Media Arts Centre on Friday, Nov. 13 from 6 pm to 10 pm. Tickets can be purchased in advance via Eventbrite or at the door — they will be sold on a sliding scale from $5 to $20. Proceeds will support future art-science co-labs and events. For more information visit Curiositycollider.org/events.

VOLUME 49 ISSUE NO. 10

provider for educational and intriguing events within Vancouver and the surrounding communities. “It was only Shelley, now the operations director, and I, community relations director — both of us have extensive science background,” said Liao. “We would like to provide our participants with a new experience of science, something outside of a laboratory and lecture halls.” Though an art show had been on their minds, “we didn’t have enough experience to pull that off at that moment,” stated Liao. “As soon as Char [became] a board member the art show idea went from a thought to be a real possibility, and now a reality. Being an artist herself, she has the experience participating in art shows, and her work in film as production designer and art director gave her the tools for work-

THE CAPILANO COURIER

SPARK! Is an educational event produced by Curiosity Collider that brings art and science together in one interactive environment. The show will highlight two- and three-dimensional art and its impression on the world of science. Featuring several local Vancouver artists, such as Char Hoyt, Curiosity Collider creative director, Christopher Rodrigues and Erick James, SPARK! aims “to support the community and to act as a catalyst for innovative experience,” said Theresa Liao, the organization’s community relations director. “Beyond SPARK!, we want Curiosity Collider to be an inclusive community hub for curious innovators from any discipline with a keen interest in science. We plan to continue foster participatory partnerships between science and technology, art and culture, business communities and educational foundations to inspire new ways to experience science.” Curiosity Collider had it’s humble beginnings back in March and is now accelerating to become a significant

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TAKING OUT THE TRASH

Directions presents Death in a Dumpster Christine Beyleveldt CAMPUS CORRESPONDENT

On Saturday, Nov, 7, Directions Youth Services opened to the public the culmination of two years of blood, sweat and tears — Death in a Dumpster: The Musical.The sorry tale follows a colourful cast of characters inhabiting the streets of Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside, notoriously known as the slums of the city. “Upon release you will see the struggles, triumphs, pitfalls, sacrifices and extremely hard work that everyone put in,” said Colin Ford, media programs coordinator for Directions. “This was a herculean task.” According to Directions’ website, “on any given night over 700 youth sleep on the streets of Vancouver,” and one can’t possibly hope to understand the dire straits of homelessness without experiencing it. “There is a divide between perception and the realities of street life,” said Ford. “[The production’s] goal is to engage the audience in a way that might put them out of their comfort zone, but hold nothing back.” There is a common misconception that the homeless are all addicts, drunks or bums, they are lazy and unwilling to search for work, not unable. This is what the character Daisy makes so plainly clear to the audience through her song, that you

can’t judge a book by its cover, or in this case homeless youth, based on their appearances. Danny is the foster child who moved out from Nova Scotia in order to track down his mother, who had left him when he was five years old. Daisy is the wild-eyed and purplehaired schizophrenic. She has a full heart for the people who are in her situation, but utter contempt for the welfare system that keeps her outdoors at night. Jack is the fallen man. Once he was a successful businessman, now a hopeless drunkard who roams the alleys searching for his next drink. Josie is the transgender sex worker with eyes only for Danny and a spirit-lifting story for everyone. Joined by a cast of varied characters, this group of youth illustrate what it is truly like to have to sleep in a dumpster every night. It’s not just the physical conditions, but also the hopelessness that accompanies it that makes it a difficult situation to emerge from. As the directors so bluntly put it, you can not hope to know someone’s story without walking in their shoes. “We hit our stride about a year ago,” said Ford. The story was given to youth director Trinity Firth over two years ago, and it was written and rewritten. Six months into the process, Directions began to lure prospective cast members out from the shadows, and that was how the team came together. “This has

been a challenge and huge learning experience from day [one],” explained Ford. “The group [has] grown into a team and the youth into actors worthy of respect.” In fact, it was not only the actors who poured their hearts and souls into the production over the course of two painstaking years. Directions recruited a number of musicians from the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra, whose haunting tunes lead the audience through the tales of neglect and despair within Vancouver’s neighbourhoods. In the end though, the system fails, and a bright young life is snuffed out through neglect. “We want the audiences to leave the

theatre and understand more about the realities of street-involvement and support legislation to fund organizations that open their doors to support the wonderful people of this great city that need our help,” added Ford. “No one is disposable,” the cast cried out as they swept to centre stage to take their bows. Everyone has a story. Death in a Dumpster: The Musical, is showing at Granville Island Waterfront Theatre on Nov. 11 and 14.

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ALRIGHT, HEAR THIS The American Freak Show Leah Scheitel COLUMNIST

Our new and sexually-exploited prime minister hasn’t even formed government yet, but most Canadians are still breathing an extended sigh of relief that the election circus is over. And now, it lets us cast our full attention to the freak show that is American politics, which somehow got even creepier during our election. John Oliver playfully mocked the length of Canadian elections by calling them “absolutely adorable” and comparing it to a woman who has only ever seen micro penises and thought that they all came in that size. But just because you have a big shlong doesn’t mean that the woman wants you to use it all the time, because that shit can start to hurt. When it comes to politics, I think the micro penis will do just fine (and I hope that’s the only time I say that.) To be sizing up and comparing candidates 18 months before a vote is cast is the same ideology that kept Winona Ryder and Jonny Depp together for three years, including the terrible tattoo decisions – purely doing it for the attention. And there has been no other election campaign as circus freak show-like such as the current one the

Americans are in the midst of. The most obvious reason for this is Donald Trump, the man that thinks toupees are socially acceptable and that he can buy his way to the White House. And the scary thing about it is that he might actually be able to do that. The underlying genius in Trump’s campaign is that he is intentionally turning it into a shit show, as he knows that is what gets attention and ultimately, it’s attention that gets votes. He’s treating the Republican debates like they are a World Wrestling Entertainment match and he is sparring off against some other ridiculous goof in a purple mask and spandex. The goof that he is sparring with is Dr. Ben Carson, the Republican answer to proving that racism doesn’t exist in America. This guy is almost the spitting personification of Dr. Hibbert from The Simpsons. He will give you life shattering news and then laugh to himself. This was most apparent after the most recent mass shooting in Oregon – when he was asked about the shooting, he said had it been him, he would have rallied the other victims and rushed the shooter, bringing him to his knees. And then he chuckled. Not only is this blatant victim blaming and stupidly insensitive, he had the gall to blame his laughter on the journalists interviewing him. Unless they

had dressed him in a feather-clad bra that was tickling him, his chuckles are all on him. And if he gets nervous in front of journalists, Trudeau is simply going to make him blush with his charming ways and his defined dimples. The last thing that I will say about the Republican presidential candidacy race is that they are arguing on ideals that shouldn’t be contemporary issues. To hammer on points about abortion, birth control and immigration for the simple reason that women’s reproductive choices and Mexicans are the only things that impassion you is not a strong platform to run off of. And, if they wanted a steadfast method of birth control, just produce a sex tape featuring all of the Republican candidates and their old white balls, make it mandatory viewing in Grade 11, and no one will ever have sex again. While I’m of a more democratic nature (Obama 2008!) it’s not like my team is doing much better. Bernie Sanders, the Vermont senator known for his socialist views, is more like your raving grandfather, with spit sliding down the side of his face when he starts yelling. His ideas, while not completely unsound, make him into some kind of dreamer, like he wants to create a world where unicorns and people can happily exist together. And while that would be nice, it’s

not real – unicorns just aren’t real. That leaves my girl, Hillary Clinton, who has inspired hordes of girls to be proud of their resting bitch faces. The only thing standing in her way are her numerous critics who keep throwing scandals at her to try and steal her spotlight. I haven’t heard someone talk about e-mails this much since my mother got her first e-mail account and didn’t understand where “the message disappeared to,” in 1999. The Democrats, while more tame than the Republicans, are still running a circus show. And because it’s tamer, more people are paying to see the Republican shit show. We are a year out from the next presidential election – an entire year that will have headlines conquered by these fools and the insane statements that they make, mostly just for the re-tweets. The Americans can have their large shlong, as it would exhaust me. I’ll be up here, cuddling my Canadian micro penis and hoping that it doesn’t suffer from performance issues.

INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PANCAKES What has my Canadian journey taught me so far? Angelika Muzyka GUEST COLUMNIST

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Which brings me to my second point: just do it. I used to love to play it safe. Putting some money into my savings account and never touching it, being afraid of approaching people in case I embarrassed myself and steering clear from extra-curricular projects at university because “there are people better than me.” Throwing myself out of my comfort zone

gave me a completely new perspective. To see yourself adapting and acting in a completely new environment is very empowering and leaves you thinking, “Yeah, I do have something to offer.” Two weeks ago, I applied for a summer business project in India – something that, before this trip, I probably wouldn’t have been able to do as I lacked confidence in my abilities. Now, I’m doing pretty well as I’m going through the second stage of the application process. Traveling teaches you how to believe in yourself. Your safety bubble is gone, the auto-pilot is off – all you have left is your inspiration, your focus and the desire to do new, exciting things. It’s not just the things you experience. It’s the people you meet. Canada has definitely taught me to be more open-minded. The contagious kindness of Canadians will stick with me as I move on from this experience. Canada taught me how to approach and be approached. It taught me how to listen and learn. Who knows what I’m going to find as I stumble upon the next person with a story – everyone has one. Challenge yourself and be curious. Analyze your actions and reactions. Reflect on your past and current beliefs. Life is short – the world is big. Wonder and wander.

THE CAPILANO COURIER

Two months ago, I woke up to the piercing sound of my alarm at five in the morning. I still couldn’t believe that in just four hours, I would be sitting on a plane heading across the ocean to the other side of the world. Even though I applied for Study Abroad way back in March, it never seemed real until the day of my departure. What came after the five seconds in which I opened my eyes and stretched my arm to grab my phone was a terrorizing feeling that froze me in place. There was a text, one that you never want to receive. But it was there, staring at me ominously from the screen. “Your flight from Aberdeen to London has been cancelled.” Studying public relations in Aberdeen, Scotland, I found my life feeling very repetitive and mostly based on school and work. When the opportunity to study abroad arose, I didn’t think twice about taking advantage of it. Four months of studying, travelling and meeting new people in Canada was an ideal chance to break the daily routine and monotony. Looking at that text, I panicked. I was right thinking this whole journey was too good to be true – there was no way I was going to get to London in time to catch my flight to Vancouver. It was over. After a couple of minutes of an utter storm

inside my head, I finally managed to calm down, come back to my senses, phone the customer service number and reschedule both of my flights. The phone call took what felt like forever and I was slowly losing hope, but in the end it all worked out well. Within the next few hours I was dragging my fat suitcase to the airport and heading for London. This little experience of mine brings me to the first thing that I’ve learned from my journey: expect the unexpected and be patient. Anything can happen to you while travelling. If these few minutes of panic made me realize anything, it was that no matter how terrified I was of this trip – it was still something that I wanted to do and cared deeply about. The fact that things didn’t run smoothly made me appreciate this opportunity so much more. Just be patient with the obstacles you come across. I myself am anything but patient. But all you have to do is embrace it and look at it from a different perspective. It will become easier to adapt and see the positives in situations like this one as they continue to happen. Choosing to come here was a scary choice. I had many other options, numerous countries in Europe that I could have visited. I was afraid to throw myself out of my comfort zone just like you throw a baseball across the pitch. But I did it, because I knew an opportunity like that might not come up again. I knew I had things to see and lessons to learn. And now I'm here.

COLUMNS

CARLO JAVIER

COLUMNS EDITOR CARLO.CAPCOURIER@GMAIL.COM

WHAT IF I LEAVE THIS TOWN Queer as Folk

Sabrina Kuhn COLUMNIST

When The Imitation Game came out almost a year ago, my mother warned me before I had the chance to go see it. “It’s going to make you angry. It’s a very, very good movie, but you will see red so wait until it goes out on DVD.” My mother learned an important lesson on taking me to political films after listening to me go absolutely off my rocker about the injustices that AfricanAmerican people still face in the United States, as well as how First Nations people aren’t treated any better north of the border, after we saw 12 Years a Slave. I had a mental breakdown in the parking lot of our local Cineplex and ever since then, I was not allowed to watch movies that would get me riled up like that in public. So I waited and Netflix delivered. I settled into my couch, balanced my laptop and watched. My mom was right, the movie itself is amazing and all the nominations and awards the cast and crew received were well deserved. My mom was also right that the movie’s emotional ending left me shaking and in tears. It made me beyond angry that the Alberta curriculum focused its Social Studies teachings on World War II, but yet there were no mentions of Alan Turing or his work at any time. I shook with rage because Turing would’ve been hailed as a war hero, probably with statues and all, if he weren’t gay. Due to the fact that he was gay, he was put on chemical castration and died at his own hand. Historians estimate that he shaved

two years off of the war and saved countless lives, but in the end it was such a massive crime for him to be gay that his own life couldn’t be saved. This hatred makes my heart ache. It burns me up inside to think about the millions of queer people who have existed and been secretive about their identity because they had to be, or who faced and still face violence due to who they are. It burns me up because I know that I am just like these people. As a queer person, I could face violence for walking down the street. All the good qualities, all the things that make me an amazing person wouldn’t matter to someone who was determined to hate me because of who I fall in love with. My heart burns because of all the queer people I know, who are all amazing, beautiful, thoughtful, joyful individuals who have nothing but wonderful things to offer the world… and they could be hurt or killed because they’re gay. Another layer of rage brought on by Turing’s story is how his scientific advancement is used by almost everyone on the planet without their knowing that he is the one who made it possible. The laptop I am writing with is a direct result of his creation. The irony of seeing anti-gay and anti-trans images on the Internet will never be lost on me, because in order to share those ugly words, someone who hates gay people has to use something made by a gay person. The Westboro Baptist Church, one of the most insidious groups out there, disseminate their hateful message via technology created by a gay man. This column has to end in a way that won’t leave my heart pounding and breath heaving. My heart breaks for Alan Turing, who

worked tirelessly and sacrificed immensely to save people and win a war, to break a code and a machine that was deemed unbreakable. My heart breaks for every queer person who struggles to be accepted. My heart also sings because with this movie, we are posthumously giving Turing the best gift. We are acknowledging him. We are acknowledging that queer people are, and always have been, and most importantly always will be, a part of history.

— CRISTIAN FOWLIE

WHY YOUR FAVOURITE THINGS SUCK Internet culture Fred Ulrich Jr.

THE CAPILANO COURIER

VOLUME 49 ISSUE NO. 10

COLUMNIST

I am sick and tired of the Internet. The technology itself is pretty much the best thing ever, but as is too often the case with anything, it was ruined as soon as people were introduced to the equation. What was supposed to be the pinnacle of global knowledge and communication has devolved into a race to the bottom in search of the lowest common denominator of popular taste, sophistication and intelligence. When I’m on websites like Facebook or Reddit, my hope is that I will keep in touch with friends, learn interesting new things and otherwise continue to inform myself and broaden my horizons. Instead, my regular experience more closely resembles wading through a cesspool of memes, cat videos, pugs, bacon, beards and other frivolous intellectually bite-sized bullshit. Instead of talking about an inspiring piece of music or

a thought-provoking video, you’ll find people posting a dozen different edits of Drake dancing with lightsabers and Poké Balls to the theme from A Charlie Brown Christmas. You can attempt to curate your lists of friends or subreddits or whatever it is you subscribe to in order to weed out the garbage, but your efforts will have much the same effect as trying to permanently defeat the eponymous foe in a game of whack-a-mole. It saddens and infuriates me that despite having immediate access to nearly the entire catalogue of human knowledge and creativity, this reactionary drivel is apparently the most interesting thing people care to spend their time on. The other puzzling aspect of Internet culture is how certain events will take on such apparently huge importance out of nowhere. Browse the internet on the wrong day and you’ll find that there is nothing being discussed other than a debate about what colour a dress is or how Kim Kardashian supposedly broke the whole damn thing with her butt. It’s like watching a school of fish — somehow everyone just decides to sync up and all go in

the same direction, but nobody really knows why. Remember the Kony 2012 thing? It seemed so important… until it wasn’t. Why do people keep flocking so fervently to these online “events” when time and time again they’ve been forgotten about and replaced by the following month? Unfortunately, the people posting and sharing this shit for fun are only half the problem. In an attempt to cash in on the thousands of views that can be garnered by the right kind of post, an entire industry has developed based around click-bait. Whether the classic “Top Ten Reasons Why You Won’t Believe What Happens Next,” a fake news headline from a satirical source that doesn’t try to be funny or an article on the challenges of having a mix of both introverted and extroverted personality characteristics – like pretty much every human on earth, thousands of websites have mastered the art of mass-producing crap that people can’t resist reacting to. Adding to it all is the overwhelming clamour of musicians and other artists trying to be heard above the din created by the per-

petual popularity contest between puppy videos and click-hungry advertisers. The mass democratization of media distribution online has not been a rising tide to lift the ships of artists, but rather a tsunami that smashed everything to hell and left a debris field too large to search through. Quality content is out there, but it’s smothered by every Internet-enabled business and individual seeking likes and up-votes for their clever video game references and TV show quotes. The worst part is, I know I can’t really unplug myself. On top of my susceptibility to Fear of Missing Out, I’m also a sucker for learning and there is simply too much good stuff out there to discover. I will stubbornly keep scrolling, filtering and scrutinizing until I find the next amazing article, video, website or whatever other quality discovery that always makes the search worthwhile.

HUMOUR

@CAPILANOCOURIER

WWW.CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

WORLD LEADERS NEED LOVE, TOO

“SWIPE RIGHT TO SEE MY CAUCUS”

GET TO KNOW THE COURIER STAFF Opinions Editor – Kevin Kapenda Carlo Javier EXECUTIVE LIFESTYLE EDITOR and ageism – particularly subtle and seemingly benign statements, except the ones that are directed at him. Now imagine if he channeled that incredible awareness towards the greater good. He’d be a real life superhero! Or a vigilante. COOLER CURATOR

Mr. Kapenda is known within the Courier office as a the “micro-aggression police.” He sees any and every form of racism, sexism

TALK SHOW HOST Some people may not know but the Courier

THE DOG WHISPERER Those who know Kevin well can testify that he’s no Caesar Millan. However, we’re not yet sure if he actively dislikes dogs or just puts on a front to be cool. We do know that he likes at least two dogs, Nate Dogg and Snoop Dogg, and that he whispers their lyrics in his sleep. And if you’re Olive, the office dog (pictured here), and you happen to steal Kevin's dinner while he's busy policing the latest office micro-aggression, you better drop it like it’s hot, nephew. That's what happened right after this photo was taken...

VOLUME 49 ISSUE NO. 10

THA POLICE

THE CAPILANO COURIER

Communications student Kevin Kapenda is known by many within the program and the campus overall as a pretty politically active guy. However, politics is just a sample of Mr. Kapenda’s many interests — he’s very keen on venturing towards other fields of expression, some of which are serious possibilities. (Other than being the prime minister of Canada of course — that’s just too obvious.)

You may not believe it, but our opinions editor is a big fan of coolers and alcopops. The fruitier a drink is, the better. For instance, two weeks ago, a few members of the staff went out to get drinks and the look on Kevin’s face after he realized that the bar didn’t have the specific watermelon-based drink he wanted was an unforgettable sight. He had to settle for a passion fruit mango spritz instead – he was not happy. Although the Courier staff has since routinely utilized Kevin’s infatuation for fruity drinks as a cheap way to ridicule him, Kevin has stood his ground and even openly states his desire of running a cooler company. Yes, you read that right.

staff is on campus every Friday to design, produce and proofread the newspaper. Other than the actual work that goes on during production, one of the things that happens every single Friday is Kevin’s bold proclamation – usually towards features editor Gabriel Scorgie — that he should have his own talk show. He often talks about how his intro would have him walking down the streets of Vancouver, buying food from every street vendor and throwing it on the ground, undoubtedly drawing inspiration from Andy Samberg and The Lonley Island.

THE CABOOSE THINKING CAP

WHO SHOULD BE THE NEXT JAMES BOND?

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HOROSCOPES IF YOUR BIRTHDAY IS THIS WEEK: You may think the hangover tomorrow is worth it, but you’re often wrong about these sorts of things.

“All the British actors that I can think of don’t really fit in the role. Like Tom Hiddleston, Martin Freeman, David Tenant, Matt Smith…” — Erin Van Zyderveld Second year Acting for Stage and Screen

ARIES (March 21 - April 19):

A broken clock is right only twice a day, yet it still has a better average than you.

TAURUS (April 20 - May 20):

“Benedict Cumberbatch would do a good job.” — Levi Wall Second year Acting for Stage and Screen

“Cillian Murphy. I have the biggest crush on him and he can really play a good asshole.” — Kate Boutilier Second year Acting for Stage and Screen

Your roommates will be happy about your new, relaxed approach to life, and that you haven’t noticed the weed-like aftertaste in those brownies.

GEMINI (May 21 - June 20):

Don’t let the weather get you down. Let the memory of how you totally blew it with that person at that bar last weekend do it instead.

CANCER (June 21 - July 22):

As an overly-sensitive person, most of this week will be spent mourning the death of your favourite living room lightbulb.

SCORPIO (Oct. 24 - Nov. 21):

Despite things going way better than expected with your new date, resulting in the two of you getting all hot and heavy in the middle of the movie theatre, remember that popcorn butter never was, nor will it ever be, a suitable form of lubricant.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21):

It’s generally considered inappropriate to fake your own death, but it’s the only way you’ll be able to clear your schedule enough to play Fallout 4 as much as you want to.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19):

LEO (July 23 - Aug. 22):

You’ll take your first step towards being a vegetarian not by cutting out meat, but by talking to people in a condescending and pretentious manner.

VIRGO (Aug. 23 - Sept. 21):

You will be caught off-guard this week when someone smiles at you on the street and doesn’t follow it up by asking if you’ve accepted our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, into your heart yet.

Last week, you decided to see how far you could go on a diet of Red Bull and Kraft dinner. This week you’ll learn that the answer is the emergency room.

“Dr. Gilbert Newtown Lewis, the American chemist famous for discovering the covalent bond and his concept electron pairs.” — Taylor Wilson VP external, Capilano Students' Union

LIBRA (Sept. 22 - Oct. 23):

You’ll question the legitimacy of your new doctor when they recommend doing a bit of cocaine with your coffee for those days you have trouble getting out of bed.

Watching The Martian has made you realize that you’re not nearly as smart as you think you are, and that you’ll never be as cool as any of the people in that movie.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18):

PISCES (Feb. 19 - March 20):

In an attempt to be more optimistic, you will now view getting blackout drunk and waking up in a bed as ‘drunk teleporting.’

THE CAPILANO COURIER

VOLUME 49 ISSUE NO. 10

“Tom Hardy because he’s edgy and he’ll give it the destructive feel that it needs.” — Mark Crickmay Arts and Culture Editor

TO ADVERTISE in the Courier’s pages, please contact us by phone at 778-855-9942 or email Alva Tang, our Community Relations Manager, at community.capcourier@gmail. com. We are proud to offer discounts to non-profit organizations and North Shore customers. A full media kit with sizes, rates and deadlines is available on our website, CapilanoCourier.com. Classified advertisements up to 50 words are free for students.

SUDOKU

LAST WEEK'S SOLUTION

— MEGAN DIETRICH