Capilano Courier Vol 45. Issue 1 by Capilano Courier

“Pushing buttons since 1968”

Issue N o. 01

N O R T H V A N C O U V E R / / S e p te m b er 5 , 2 0 1 1

Volume 45

with Clean Teeth // The Great wall of china // Car Helmets // and so much more ...

TABle of contents Vol. Fourty-Five | Issue 01

Pushing buttons since 1968

Contac t u s Praise? Damnation? Let us know what you think:

Phone

604.984.4949

Online

www.capilanocourier.com

Fax

604.984.1787

editor@capilanocourier.com Cont rib u t i n g

Are you a writer/illustrator/photographer? We'll pay you! Come to our story meetings:

TUESDAYS at NOON in MAPLE 122 Caveat lector

The Capilano Courier is an autonomous, democratically run student newspaper. Literary and visual submissions are welcomed. All submissions are subject to editing for brevity, taste, and legality. The Capilano Courier will not publish material deemed by the collective to exhibit sexism, racism, or homophobia. The views expressed by the contributing writers are not necessarily those of the Capilano Publishing Society.

Sta f f

N e ws The CSU welcomes you With Arms Wide Open

C al e n d a r

The Capilano Courier is brought to you by the following people ...

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What If we gave you a schedule of awesome events around Vancouver?

editor-in-chief

Samantha Thompson

Sarah Vitet

Fe a t u r e s

Learn how to Overcome Cap’s hurdles or Are You Ready to take a trip to China?

Ar t s production mngr.

a rt d i r e c t o r

f e at u r e s e d i t o r

news editor

Shannon Elliott

JJ Brewis

Adélie Houle-Lachance

Gurpreet Kambo

Don’t Stop Dancing at Earthdance Global Festival for Peace

Columns

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Let our religion column take you Higher, while JJ is Torn over the death of Amy Winehouse

a rt s e d i t o r

opinions editor

Claire Vulliamy

Marco Ferreira

humor

fiction editor

Kevin Murray

copy editor

Celina Kurz

Opinions

What’s This Life For‚ if you don’t feel comfortable pooping on vacation?

C ab o o s e s ta f f w r i t e r

Evelyn Cranston

events mngr.

Jonty Davies

business manager

web editor

Ricky Bao

Natahsha Prakash

How many Creed song titles could you spot in this table of contents? If the answer is any number over one, go straight to the Caboose and stay there. You disgust me.

the cove

JJ Brewis This summer, JJ went to Florida for two weeks and came back with a half-dozen songs under his belt, a love of animatronic hippos, a wand from Hogwarts, and a tan that doesn't expand beyond his ears or chin. JJ is the Art Director at the Courier, so get at him if you want to draw some things. Bribes to get his attention include dark chocolate, Ryan Gosling's phone number, or a subscription to Juicy.

{ WORLD* } This

WEEK in the

What’s got us all riled up in the office this week?

Oxford commas still relevant

Hurricane Irene ... but it’s on the other coast!

Who was the sexiest Weasley?

Beyoncé finally preggers and acting like a total dick about it

Jack Layton :'(

from the editors //

All for you

ith the death of Jack Layton we saw a very ugly side of the media. Images of his grieving wife were plastered on newspaper covers, hours of insensitive television coverage was aired on the same day of his passing, and every public figure who had something to say about Layton's life was given a platform to speak on. Not one media source calmed down long enough to realize that they were exploiting a very real and personal event for Layton's family and friends, and as a result they were tastelessly using this man's death in order to garner pick up and views. Thankfully, the Capilano Courier is not the same as the Vancouver Sun, the Metro, or other corporately-owned media sources. The Courier is student-funded and autonomously run, which means that we do not have to write sensationalist headlines, censor ourselves, or worry about our funding being cut if we report on controversial events. We also have the power to pick and choose who we accept advertisements from, which keeps us away from the influence of any corporate agenda. We do not have to compromise our paper in order to stay alive, and for that we have you, the students, to thank. Your role is not limited to being a reader, however. As a resource to students, the Courier is here to give you the opportunity to write, take pictures, or illustrate for a newspaper. You can work with our editors to write articles and develop your writing skills, all the while earning extra pocket money to help you afford the outrageous cafeteria food prices . The only requirement for working for us is showing up to one of our story meetings, and being open to working with our editors and within our deadlines. The Courier is a resource for you, and for this campus. Running this newspaper is a job we take very seriously, and even just getting this issue on stands is an accomplishment that we feel extremely proud of. Keeping a publishing society alive and functioning requires a lot of time, effort, and consideration that often goes unnoticed or forgotten. With every new year, the Courier administration changes hands and the staff is changed. As we prepared for our year as joint Editors-in-Chief of the Courier, many things came to the surface that we hadn't realized before we got elected. For example, we are a registered non-profit society in BC, and staying on the registry requires a certain amount of paper work and correspondence with Government bureaucracy. Because of the transient nature of our organization, we are currently a “society not-in-good-standing” on the verge of being dissolved. Now that the matter has been brought to our attention it will, of course, be resolved, but this kind of housekeeping is just another aspect of keeping the newspaper running. In addition to being your student newspaper, we're also proud members of the Canadian University Press – an organization that connects student media sources across the country. Not all of the

members of CUP are as lucky as we are in terms of autonomy, however. At conferences it is common to hear about student journalists from other newspapers having struggles to to publish stories about their University administration or student associations, who have the power to cut their funding. The most recent example of this is the Runner, the student newspaper at Kwantlen Polytechnic University. The Kwantlen Student Association saw a new executive board come into power earlier this year, and the Runner has been covering their activities diligently over the summer. One of the biggest concerns was when the KSA voted to freeze a lawsuit which had been launched against the Reduce All Fees party, a group of students who previously controlled the KSA and were less-than-accountable with students' money. Research by the Runner's news editor, Matt DiMera, exposed that some of the board members on the current KSA executive were related to members of the RAF party, who the court case was against. DiMera and the Runner continued to unearth new controversies regarding current KSA executive members, and eventually the KSA made a startling announcement that they would be withholding the Runner's funding, ceasing all further publication. Although the Runner is an independent student newspaper, they rely on the KSA to hand over the money that is collected in a levy from students. Put simply, the Runner is being punished for going after an important story and attempting to hold elected officials accountable to the people who put them there – in this case, students. By silencing the Runner, the KSA is saying a big “fuck you” to freedom of speech and political accountability. So yes, we are extremely lucky at the Courier, because the Capilano Students' Union cannot withhold our funding simply because they don't like what we're writing. We will work hard this year to hold your representatives accountable, as well as to create a publication that you will find both useful and entertaining. Ultimately, the Courier belongs to you. We won't always be perfect, but we will always be vital. In these pages you will find all kinds of writing, ranging from professional and informative, to entertaining and just plain raunchy. We employ both new and experienced writers from all walks of life, with an emphasis on students and student issues, though our coverage is not limited to on-campus relevance. This newspaper is not only made up by the writers, editors, managers and illustrators that work every week to put it together; it is every reader, and every student. If you want something covered, come and talk to us. Better yet, come and do it yourself. As always, feel free to email us at editor@capilanocourier.com. — Samantha Thompson and Sarah Vitet // Joint editors-in-chief

Fat animals – cuter despite diabetes?

The Voicebox Katy Perry in Cube 2: Hypercube

Taylor Lautner doppelgänger attends Cap U – I saw him!

HST regret

with Jonty Davies! Look for the Voicebox on Tuesday afternoons in the Birch cafeteria, to anonymously “voice” your “opinion” on any “topic.” Introverted alternatives include emailing your opinion to voicebox@capilanocourier.com, or texting (778) 228-0048. “I know it would probably suck, but getting your heart ripped out in the Temple of Doom and being lowered into a pit of lava while a manic witchshaman grips your still-beating heart as it bursts into flames would be a pretty awesome way to die.” Galli-ma, friend. “Masturbating in bank line-ups? What’s the big deal?” Sounds like a real stick-up. “You snooze, you lose. Unless it’s a sleeping contest.”

Mister Weasley

I’m tired of these jokes. “Big muscles? Check. Little dog? Check. UFC hat? Check.” Warped sense of self-esteem? Check.

* List not comprehensive

“Whatever happened to Jonathan Taylor Thomas?” Oh, he’s on that show. You know, “Whatever Happened To?” “If a short person is vertically challenged is a fat person horizontally gifted?”

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Text

The beast of political correctness rears it’s aesthetically deficient head. “If I hear one more person ask what the new black is they’d better be prepared to deal with a flying GTFO Bruce Lee dragon kick to the dome. For real.” It’s purple. Purple is the new black. “I really like that place Fishworks. Try the Wellington!” Fishworks a good restaurant and all, but it has got to be the worst name ever. It seriously sounds like a factory down by the docks. “Geoff’s advice of the day: Never put too many craisins in your homemade cookies because then it becomes pretty much one giant craisin.” Thanks, Geoff! It’s so hard to find good non-pornographic advice these days!

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EDI T OR // Gurpreet Kambo // ne w s @ c api l ano c o uri e r. c o m

WHAT HAPPENED WHILE YOU WERE SOMEwHERE BETTER Rather a lot, actually By Samantha Thompson // Editor-in-Chief

or many people the season of summer is meant to be one of freedom, sunshine, and fun. For universities, however, summer is the time when they can get a lot of work done without pesky students getting in the way – and this past summer was no exception. Since we know you weren’t paying attention to the politics of it all while you were soaking up your vitamin D, here’s our summer news round-up, just for you. BOARD OF GOVERNORS APPROVES CONTROVERSIAL BUDGET

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 1

The Capilano University Board of Governors started off the summer months with a bang, voting to accept a budget that made significant cuts to Adult Basic Education programs, along with cuts to other sections of the Faculty of Student Services and Developmental Studies. As a result, the Capilano University Faculty Association officially opposed the budget, releasing a report that made suggestions for alternative financial decisions that would place “education ahead of business”. More than forty members of the faculty attended the meeting where the budget was discussed, lining the hallway outside the meeting room with placards requesting the Board of Governors to reconsider. “Capilano University has a mandate to help students succeed,” said John Wilson, President of the CUFA, “[and] these cuts contradict that mandate.” Wilson suggested that the University look for additional funding from the province for the operating costs of the film building, as Capilano is allegedly shouldering much of the cost for a product that will “support the development of talents and skills in B.C.’s billion-dollar-plus film industry.” Although several amendments to the budget were proposed, the budget was still accepted as originally presented, with two student representatives and two faculty representatives opposing. This is the second consecutive year where cuts have been made to this faculty.

Clarkson, Kelsey Didlick and Brandon Hofmarks for student representatives to the Senate; and David Clarkson and Jordon Liden for student representatives on the Board of Governors. Some of the candidates elected in the original vote were not elected in the re-vote, including Azam Ansary, who was originally elected to Senate in the first vote, but was replaced by Parker Busswood in the second. The first time around, voter turnout was 289 students voting in the Senate election and 365 UNIVERSITY ELECTION SEES A RE-VOTE WITH voting in the Board of Governors election. In the NO DISQUALIFICATION re-vote, however, the voter turnout dropped to Right as the spring semester was coming to an 195 for the Senate election and 225 for the Board end, the results of the Board of Governor and of Governors. Senate student representative elections were being announced. However, soon after the results UVSS TO LEAVE CFS were announced, an election complaint was submitted and a re-vote was called by University The University of Victoria Students’ Union held a referendum on continued membership in the Registrar, Karen McCredie. Under the University’s election rules, candi- Canadian Federation of Students earlier this year, dates in the election are not permitted to cam- and at the CFS’ Annual General Meeting in May paign during the voting period. The complaint their referendum results, to cease membership was submitted against David Clarkson and Justin in the CFS, were accepted by the delegates at Lew, and it suggested that they had violated this the meeting. Although Dave Molenhuis, former election rule by campaigning on Facebook dur- national chairperson of the CFS said he was “surprised, saddened, but respectful” of the students’ ing the voting period. Despite the complaint, none of the candidates decision in the referendum. The condition to the acceptance of their rewere disqualified from the re-vote, and McCredie oversaw the second vote in mid-April. The suc- sults, however, is that all outstanding fees owed cessfully elected candidates as a result of this to the CFS are paid off before the UVSS can ofelection are as follows: Parker Busswood, David ficially leave the CFS. Previously, the CFS has

claimed that the UVSS owed them fees dating back to the 1990s; however, this has been disputed by the UVSS. The UVSS is yet to be told the exact amount of money that they have in outstanding fees to the CFS, although the UVSS’ understanding is that “outstanding fees” refers to the membership fees they owe for the 2010-11 academic year. “The fees will be remitted as soon as we have them from the university, which will complete our departure from the CFS,” Tara Patterson, chairperson of the UVSS, told the Canadian University Press. NORTH SHORE CREDIT UNION DONATES BIG BUCKS Capilano University announced at the end of June that the North Shore Credit Union would be providing a $1 million sponsorship for performing arts at the school. The sponsorship will be divided up over fifteen years, and will result in the performing arts theatre being officially renamed the North Shore Credit Union Centre for the Performing Arts. “Their valued contribution will enable us to continue to offer quality programs and services that are specifically tailored to meet the needs of the local communities we serve,” said Dr. Kris Bulcroft, Capilano University’s President, about the sponsorship. The renaming of the theatre is the first time

// Katie So a building on campus has been named after a business; however, these re-christenings of buildings are not uncommon at post-secondary institutions. SFU, for example, has the Alcan Aquatic Research Centre and the controversial Goldcorp Centre for the Arts, and Kwantlen Polytechnic University has the Coast Capital Savings Library. GOVERNOR GENERAL UNVEILS NEW COAT OF ARMS His Excellency the Right Honourable David Johnston, the Governor General of Canada, made an important visit to Capilano in May so that he could help the institution unveil their new coat of arms. “Speaking as someone who has spent over four decades working in the academic world, it is fitting that my first presentation ceremony of corporate arms is to a university,” said the Governor General in a press release. Interestingly, he used to be a history instructor at Capilano in the 1960s. The coat of arms is blue, with two winged bears staring at each other while they hold a shield decorated with a salmon in a West Coast First Nations style. The University’s slogan cascades across the bottom of the image, reading, “Through Learning to a Greater Good”. The unveiling of the coat of arms is another step in Capilano’s transformation into a university.

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Bright-Eyed and Busy-tailed Capilano Students’ Union offers health and dental plan to students By Celina Kurz // Copy Editor

he new school year is often accompanied by change. This year at Capilano, students are now being offered something our school has never had in the past : a health and dental plan. After much deliberation and careful planning beginning in 2009, and with 97% of voting students voting in favour of implementing a health and dental plan in a referendum last April, the Health and Dental Committee has finally solidified a 3-year contract with insurance broker Student Care. Student Care also provides health care plans for UVic, UBC, SFU, Langara, and a huge number of other student associations across Canada. At the cost of $219 per year, all students taking 9 credits or more will be automatically opted into a plan that fully or partially covers them for a variety of medical services. Part-time students are also eligible to self-enrol at the slightly higher cost of $328.50 per year. In addition, Student Care also offers the option of enrolling family members (spouse and/or dependents). You can also choose to opt out of either the health or dental plan, or both, if you have an equivalent plan through a parent or workplace. Student Care has a network of both pharmacies and medical practitioners of all kinds across Canada. Students will still be covered if they use practitioners outside of the network, but if they choose to stay within it, extra bonuses can be applied. For example, when students use their “Pay Direct” card at pharmacies within the network,

// Natahsha Prakash they will receive their 80% discount immediately at the till. The CSU plan offers the best coverage for physiotherapy, vision, and psychotherapy of any student plan in BC, and requires no deductible to be paid before receiving benefits. According to research conducted by studentcare.net/works, an equivalent plan to the CSU’s purchased privately would cost over $900 per year, and an equivalent plan supplied by a workplace would cost over $600 per year. “We picked a plan we thought we could use, not just something that was nice to have,” says David Clarkson, chairperson of the Health and Dental Committee. “As the director of the Capilano Students' Union responsible for the plan, I'm comforted to know that all full-time students will have affordable access to this basic necessity…The survey we conducted in early February

was a real wake-up call in terms of how few students were actually covered by both a health and dental plan [35%] and how this lack of coverage affected students.” The wide variety of benefits, plus the relatively low cost, have some students very excited. Jen Ellin, a Capilano student, says, “It’s better than my mom's coverage, and she's a judge! I’m stoked to have massage therapy and the chiropractor covered, right now I'm paying $40 a visit.” And while Katherine Alpen, a student about to enter her first year in the musical theatre program, is “sceptical” about the new plan, she admits she looks forward to her first dental check up in a while. “I have crappy teeth.” However, not all students are as excited about the new plan. Because all full-time students are automatically opted into this plan, students who already have coverage through a parent

or spouse are required to opt out from the plan. Some students who have attempted the process were disappointed and frustrated by how difficult it was. “Opting out was a total pain,” says student Ingrid Rondel. Lyle Hopkins agrees, adding “[I] wish they didn’t automatically opt you in. [There] should be an opt in function.” Students who wish to opt out can do so between August 15 and September 27. This “change of coverage period” is also the time frame given to students who wish to opt their dependents or spouses into the plan as well as part-time students. Upon opting out, the cost of the plan will appear as a credit on your student account. As part of their service to Capilano University, Student Care has created a website providing extensive information about the plan, www.ihaveaplan.ca. On the site, you can find a full listing of the services covered and practitioners within the Student Care network, as well as instructions on how to place claims and use the plan to one’s best advantage. In addition, you can find comprehensive information on who exactly can self-enrol or be opted into the plan, and how to do so. The website is very transparent, easy to navigate, and offers helpful video guides which explain various aspects of the plan. Clarkson makes it very clear that that the CSU is “making sure people can make the most of the plan...we don’t want people to not take advantage of it.” To find out more about your new student plan, visit www.ihaveaplan.ca, or phone their student help line from Monday to Friday between 9 am and 5 pm at 1-866-416-8701.

U-PASS NOW AVAILABLE IN A VENDING MACHINE But ‘U’ Are No Longer on your ‘U-Pass’ By Christine Jamieson // Writer

masse, and shipped to the institutions. However, despite the passes being mailed out in bulk, Capilano students were not able to get their U-Passes until August 31st, the same day that the summer U-Pass expired. “I’m unimpressed with the organization of the distribution process. For one, the new passes aren’t available any sooner…and the new passes require us to switch passes every month,” says Eric Seeley, another Capilano student. Fraud was a major issue with the Vancity U-Pass program. Translink estimates that $15 million worth of U-Passes were reported lost or stolen. Many of these found their way into the hands of other, non-student users, typically through outlets such as Craigslist. “While the former U-Passes had a magnetic stripe on the back that were required to be inserted into the coin boxes on board buses most students and drivers did not do this for the sake of faster load times and convenience, as you can probably imagine,” says Honkanen. “TransLink and schools had no way of ‘deactivating’ a lost or invalid card, [and although] the new U-Passes BC do not have a photo of students on them, TransLink can cut down on fraudulent reproductions by integrating new security features into the card.” Although the new U-Pass is coming with many changes, students can look forward to adapting to another new U-Pass system in a few years. “For now, the new U-Pass BC is a better system that allows the program to add almost 50%

more students,” says Ken Hardie, spokesperson for Translink. “Students are going to really like it when TransLink integrates the new U-Pass BC with the Compass Card in 2013.” The Compass card, currently in development by Translink, is an electronic fare card with a micro-chip inside which passengers will use to pay for their transit trips. “With the electronic chip from the Compass Card embedded in student cards student cards would then double as U-Passes.” Hardie added.

// Katie So

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 1

or several years now, Capilano students have enjoyed the benefits of the U-Pass. However, with the implementation of a new province-wide U-Pass program, students will quickly notice several important changes with their ticket to transit. The Vancity U-Pass, which was originally implemented at Capilano, Langara, UBC and SFU, is being expanded to post-secondary institutions across the province. Following an announcement by former B.C. Premier Gordon Campbell in June 2010, students all over B.C. will now have access to a U-Pass at the cost of $30 a month. At that time, Campbell said to News1130, "Students in all publicly-funded post-secondary institutions in British Columbia will have a universal U-Pass to help them have access to transit across this province." The program, called U-Pass BC, is scheduled to commence this September. According to the Translink website, each participating university and corresponding student society will have to execute two contracts : the new U-Pass BC Agreement, a document covering the universities’ agreement to administer the U-Pass program; and the U-Pass BC Risk Mitigation Agreement, a document which ensures only eligible students are receiving the benefits of the program. Under the previous program, each institution had its own separate

agreement, but “part of the initiative [of U-Pass B.C.] included taking all of the past contracts and concerns and unique language, which was complicated and time-consuming for TransLink to administer, and putting it into one truly universal contract,” says Richard Honkanen, a member of the Capilano Students’ Union’s U-Pass working group. The new U-Pass no longer contains the student’s personal information such as their name, their picture, or the name of the institution at which the student is studying. Because this information is no longer included, students will now have to simultaneously present their valid student ID and their U-Pass or risk receiving a fine and having their U-Pass confiscated. Amy Maycock, a Capilano student, is unimpressed with the security of this new method. “I think the new way they did it makes it easier for people to use other students U-Passes, which is surprising to me that they’d allow [that to happen].” The distribution of the U-Passes will also be different from the mail-out system that was used for institutions on the previous Vancity UPass program. Students will now have to line up monthly to collect their U-passes from one of four vending machines located in Library building or the cafeteria in Birch. Translink argues that this change is to avoid the security risk of sending valuable U-Passes through the mail. With the U-Passes now being uniform across the province, they can easily be produced en

t h e ca p ca l e n dar C e l i na W i th

Kur z !

C A L E N D A R @ C A PI L A N O C O U R I E R . C O M

w e d n e s d ay s e p t. 7 Breakfast Giveaway Free breakfast sandwiches, courtesy of the CSU! Why not? 8 – 9 a.m. at the walkway near the bus loop

This Crazy Time: Living Our Environmental Challenge “Greenpeace International climate and energy codirector Tzeporah Berman discusses her new book and the environmental movement.” Sounds like a crazy time to me! 7:30 p.m. North Shore Credit Union Centre for the Performing Arts (previously Capilano Performing Arts Theatre), $15/12

Vancouver Folk Song Society This sounds awesome! I didn't know this existed. Listen to some folk music, or join in and jam out hard. 7:30 p.m. Friends Meeting House, 1070 West Pender St. Free for members, by donation for nonmembers

Goalball According to the BCBSRA website, goalball sounds kind of like indoor football for blind people. Hardcore! The CSU is hosting a game in the Sportsplex, which sounds like the kind of thing I could get pretty jacked on. 11:30 a.m. – 1 ish in the Sportsplex

BOLDFest 2011 “This three-day celebration for lesbians features workshops, entertainment, social events, and discussions.” Woop woop!!! Check out www.boldfest.ca for more info and a full schedule of events. Goes until Sept. 11.

Ke$ha, LMFAO and Spank Rock Get super wasted and cover yourself in glitter! That's what I'm gonna do. That's also probably what Ke$ha is gonna do. 8:00 p.m. Rogers Arena, $32.75/46.75

Ryan’s Going Away Party I went to high school with Ryan Jack and he's the broest dude I've ever met. He'd probably love it if you came to his going away party! It will either be at the Lamplighter or the Blarneystone, so if you go to either of these places you have a 50/50 chance of seeing him. He's a mediumheight blond kid, just tell him that you hope he has a good time in Australia. 10:00 p.m. The Blarneystone or the Lamplighter

Sounds from the Fringe: Teen Angst Poetry & Kidnap Kids! This is my band lol. But also, people are going to read out of their teen diaries. Also maybe, if you bring your diary, they'll let you do a reading too. This sounds so awesome! Plus, later in the night, DJs playing sweet Britpop and rare soul music from the 60s and 70s. 8:00 p.m. till late, Wild Horse Canyon Stage at the St. Ambroise Fringe Bar at AGRO Cafe, 1363 Railspur Alley

Fetish Night X Okay!!!! 10:00 p.m. Club 23 West, 23 West Cordova St.

The Backyardigans I had the theme song for this TV show on my computer for some reason. It wasn't that bad! “Pablo the penguin, Tyrone the moose, Uniqua the purplespotted creature, Tasha the hippo, and Austin the kangaroo lead families on a heroic quest in their Quest for the Extra Ordinary Aliens show.” This sounds better than a lot of things that exist!1:00 p.m. or 4:00 p.m. The Centre in Vancouver for Performing Arts, 777 Homer St. $

Ross Taggart at O'Doul's Restaurant and Bar Ross Taggart is a teacher here at Capilano and a super duper jazz pianist! O'Doul's provides a great atmosphere and tasty beer. 9:00 p.m., O'Doul's Restaurant and Bar, 1300 Robson St. Free.

t h u r s day s e p t. 8 The Walkabout Check out student spaces, get free food! The CSU loves to give away food. 11:30 a.m. – 1:00 p.m. in the Treehouse (LB131), Women's Centre (LB137), Queer Centre (LB191), and First Nation's Centre (BR160)

f ri day s e p t. 9 CSU Lounge Party Learn all about the different clubs and committees at Cap! There will probably be free food here too, but I'm not sure. 11:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m. CSU Lounge (MA116)

s at u rday s e p t. 1 0 VCD Contra Dance Learn to do some easy dance steps and make some new friends! If you're okay with holding a stranger's hands, and you don't hate folk music, this is a genuinely a fun way to spend a Saturday night. St. James Hall also sells really excellent beer. “Soft shoes” and “light clothes” are reccommended. 7:45 - 11:00 p.m. St. James Hall, 3214 West 10th St., $12

s u n day s e p t. 1 1 September 11 Never forget! Everywhere

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m o n day s e p t. 1 2

Separation Anxiety Forum Do you have separation anxiety? Does your child? Learn more about this common anxiety disorder at the VPL, where a panel of psychologists will answer your questions. You can also watch a movie about it. 7:00 – 8:30 p.m. Vancouver Public Library. Free

t u e s day s e p t. 1 3 Speed Friending MORE free food from the CSU. Also, you also could meet a new friend (or lover)! But all I can guarantee is the free food. 11:30 a.m. in the Lower Cafeteria (Birch). Free

Perpetual-Motion Inventors & Gadgeteers Meet Have you invented a sweet gadget lately? Alternatively, are you looking for a cute, nerdy, gadgeteer boyfriend or girlfriend? Both inventors and people who think inventors are cute/“steampunk” are likely to find what they want at this forum which meets every second Monday of the month. Midnight, MYSTERY LOCATION: find out by emailing informant@justice.com

Taylor Swift I'm so jealous of you if your mom bought you a ticket to this. It's totally sold out and I wanna go so bad. Wahhhhhhhhhhh! 8:00 p.m. Rogers Arena, sold out :(

Taylor Swift She's got two concerts in a row and they are BOTH sold out! FML. 8:00 p.m. Rogers Arena, also sold out :(

news Welcome back from the CSU Summer may be finished but Breakfast Giveaway // Wednesday Sept 7 party including popcorn, music, and tables from CapBetween 15 and 20 informational groups the party isn’t over yet For the first full day of classes, the CSU will be giving ilano’s clubs and constituencies. The CSU is also using will be present, some from the community out an assortment of free sandwiches by the Purcell Way bus stop from 8 am until 9:30 am to help promote healthy eating, and as a pick-me-up for those students with early classes. Come early as sandwiches are limited.

this as a chance to showcase the CSU lounge in the Maple building, and all that it has to offer. “The Lounge party is an informational event to support the booksale and for entertainment for the people in there, with music and slideshows,” says Koebel.

The Walkabout // Thursday Sept 8 A self led tour of all of Capilano University’s constituency rooms to show what they can offer students, such as the First Nations Lounge, Queer Centre and Women’s Cenre. The tour will begin outside the Treehouse (LB131) at 11:30 am and will end at approximately 1 pm. The Treehouse can be located on the first floor of the Library building. Free food is included with the tour in each room, including bannock bread in the First Nation’s Lounge, CSU 40th Anniversary // Tuesday Sept 6 fruits and veggies in the Women’s Centre and desserts During the University’s new student orientation on the in the Queer Centre. The CSU’s constituency represenfirst day of school, the CSU will be hosting a table tatives will be present in each room to answer quesand giving away cake to celebrate the Student Union’s tions, and tell you more about more about the rooms. 40th anniversary. The CSU’s Social Activities Coordinator, Amelia Koebel, says to “come by the party table to Lounge Party // Friday, Sept 9 learn more about the CSU and have fun.” Come up to the Lounge between 11 am and 1 pm for a

Speed Friending // Tuesday, Sept 13 Having trouble making friends? Want to meet more people? The CSU is hosting a speed friending event in the cafeteria from 11:30 am to 1:30 pm. This event was previously held in the spring semester, and it was well attended and enjoyed by many students. Desserts will be served at the event, and little slips of paper with questions on them such as “If you could be a colour, what colour would you be?” It is great way to meet new people from different programs.

By Cecilia Yus // Writer

ith the start of the fall semester upon us, the Capilano Students’ Union (CSU) bi-annual Welcome Back Week is upon us. These events take place the first two weeks of the semester, and provide a variety of events which promise to have something for every discerning student out there. It is meant to welcome new students (and welcome back old ones), introduce them to the CSU, and help students meet new people on campus.

Harvest Moon Festival // Thurs. Sept 15 The CSU will be hosting a party in Library Square located between the Library and Cedar buildings from 11 am until approximately 2 pm. The Whiskey Dicks will be playing Celtic rock from noon until 1 pm, followed by BBQ hotdogs, chips, and pop.

and some from the school, including our own Capilano Courier. “There won’t be any vendors that are selling,” says Koebel. “[It will be] mostly just informational vendors, with free stuff to give out.” The events are meant to “welcome back students and give them a chance to make new friends right off the bat.” says Koebel. Many students skip the events each year, but as general studies student Megan Cheung says: “I’ve always wanted to go to one of the events, [but] I just never hear about them until after they’re over!” Summer is over and school is back in session, but that’s no reason for the fun to stop. Whether you are brand-new to Cap or a returning student, stop by one of the CSU’s events to meet new people, have fun, and maybe learn a thing or two about your student union.

w e d n e s day s e p t. 1 4 Are Comics the Most Jewish Medium? I have no idea! This sounds awesome, I love comics. I had no idea Will Eisner was Jewish until I read the description for this event. 7:00 – 9:00 p.m. Jewish Museum and Archives of B.C., 300-950 West 41st St. By donation

Sexy Games “Evening of stories and titillating tidbits woven into interactive games that you can take home to your friends or lovers and play with them.” Friends OR lovers? Are you sure? 7:30 p.m. The Art of Loving, 1819 West 5th St. Free

KOOL KEITH aka ULTRAMAN 7000 I saw this guy once at Richard's on Richards (RIP). He's totally crazy! He has a million personas, and is a rapper. At the very least, you should google him. 9:00 p.m. Fortune Sound Club, 147 East Pender St. $20

t h u r s day s e p t. 1 5 Harvest Moon Festival Apparently there are going to be 500 free hotdogs at this event! Also, live music, vendors, and info booths. Party hardy! BYOB. 11:00 a.m. - 2:00 p.m. in the Library Plaza (outside). Free

f ri day s e p t. 1 6 3rd Annual Fishbone Festival This is in Squamish, and it's free! Featuring “lasers, lights, mirror balls, smoke machines and loud ass music to dance your face off to,” this could be the party for you, if that sounds like fun to you and you live in Squamish. 6:30 p.m. “near the River” (I'm not sure exactly where that is, but presumably people in Squamish do).

Ice Cream Social All the cool kids go to this, and frankly, it sounds pretty fun. 60s sockhop influenced, this dance party features local DJs Cam Dales, Trevor Risk, and Tyler Fedchuk. 11:00 p.m. - 2:00 a.m. Biltmore Cabaret. $8

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s u n day s e p t. 1 8 Lower Lonsdale Fall Festival Family-friendly festivals for all! This one features “free Royal Express Train rides through the pumpkin patch, face painting, balloon creations, roving entertainment, and reptiles, as well as best pie and home-grown produce competitions.” Reptiles. Did you catch that? I'd say it's worth checking out just for those. 11:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. The Shipyards (foot of Lonsdale Ave. in North Van), free

Devo, with special guests Definitely better than Il Divo. 8:00 p.m. Vogue Theatre. $45/100

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Autumn Shift Festival Free popcorn and cotton candy? Sounds good to me! Also, arts and crafts (awesome), a prize pond (I love prizes), and a “duelling grand piano performance” (once in a lifetime), among other things. 12:00 – 6:00 p.m. on Main St. from Broadway to 12th. Free.

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F e at u r e s

ell, here we are. It’s September, which means that we’ve had to say goodbye to our summers and head to North Vancouver to hit the books. Don’t worry though – Capilano University has worked hard to become something of a small sustainable town: You can get food, books, healthcare, and a host of other services without leaving the safety and comfort of our campus. We’ve waded through the excessive amount of information available and picked our favourite things on campus that we think you should know about. In advance, you’re welcome. WHERE TO BUY TEXTBOOKS

Believe it or not, the university offers many services that are just sitting around, waiting for people to use them. The unfortunate thing is that too often we don’t find out about them until the end of our time at the school, and then the good opportunities have been wasted. These places are practically guaranteed to help you succeed in your classes. The best part is that most of them are located in Birch which makes them really easy to find. The Writing Centre is actually not located in Birch. In fact, it’s located on the fourth floor of Fir, which is why it takes a solid year for students to start using it, despite professors pushing students to go to the writing centre for the first several weeks of school. “It’s too far,” we complain. “Who wants to climb up a million stairs just to do better on a paper?” Here’s the good news: there’s an elevator. And you really will do better on your assignments. There are information sheets about Works Cited pages and doing research, as well as computers and a printer that are generally more available than the ones in the library. Best of all, there are faculty up there all the time ready to read your writing and give you pointers about how to make your assignment better. They also have this vending machine up there that gives you “students’ and visiting writers’ chapbooks” for a nickel. Apparently a chapbook is a “small pamphlet containing tales, ballads, or tracts, sold by peddlers.” I had to look it up, but now it sounds pretty cool. The Counselling Department is a resource that almost all of us will need to use during our time at Capilano. University is stressful, and life is hard. Counselling normally costs money, but at the counselling department, it is free. They also provide learning support by offering disability services, First Nations services, and learning skills development. The counsellors can even help you with potential grade appeals. Go talk to them. They like to listen! You can call them at

EVERYTHING you ever

WANTED to

KNOW (and (and more!) more!)

about

CAPILANO By Samantha Thompson E d i tor - i n - C h i e f

(Illustrations by JJ Brewis)

very nice person to talk to. You can talk to him if you have been the target of harassment, have been accused of harassing someone, or if you’re having difficulties with any member of the university community. Academic Advising is the place where you can go to ask questions about your future. Although they are not psychic fortune-tellers, these people are friendly, and will meet with you to discuss transferring credits, which courses you should register for, and to help you with general education planning. They’re located in BR238. The University Administration is located on the fourth floor of Birch. Their offices are all really fancy and decorated with wood, and some of them might even want to talk to you. If you really want to talk to them about something, however, you should probably book an appointment. Sometimes Kris Bulcroft, the University President, leaves the fourth floor to meet real-life students. Last year the Courier reported that she might be a leprechaun, but unfortunately we haven’t been able to prove or disprove this theory. Health Services and Sports Medicine Clinic is exactly what it sounds like. If you head over there on Tuesdays and Thursdays, general medical services are available to you, for free! The centre also provides physiotherapy and massage therapy, although probably not for free. They have lots of pamphlets on drugs and diseases that you can take as well. 604.984.1744 to book an appointment, or walk The Math Learning Centre is a hidden room in right into their office in BR267. Birch (BR289) that could be very useful for those Harassment and Conflict Resolution is also of us being forced to take a math requirement available at Capilano. Keiron Simons is our even though we strongly believe that mathematconflict resolution advisor, and his picture on ics is some sort of cruel, cruel joke (insert math the university’s website makes him look like a lover here saying something along the lines of

“math is not a joke! It is a beautiful form of art! It makes sense because there’s only ever one answer!”). Anyway, you can go here for math help. Also there is space to study, as well as a video room where you can watch videos about … math. University Workshops happen fairly frequently, but almost nobody goes to them. They’re free, and they happen over lunch. Officially entitled “Student Success Workshops”, they cover everything from textbook reading and stress management to healthy relationships. The full calendar of workshops is available on the university website. The Child Care Centre is a fun place that offers child care for infants, toddlers, and 3-5 year olds. The centre is the reason that you will often see cute little kids being happy and wandering around campus. If you have kids yourself, you can apply for childcare online, as the centre gives priority to CapU students. PLACES YOU SHOULD GO TO GET GOOD FOOD Let’s face it – cafeteria food has a reputation for being very hit or miss. In Capilano’s cafeteria, for example, their breakfasts are amazing. The biggest issue with the cafe, though, are their outrageous prices. There are some alternatives, though unfortunately not too many because Aramark is the University’s official food service provider on campus, and they have the exclusivity contract to prove it. Superstore is a short jaunt down the hill, and carries food typical of your average grocery store. The food that can be bought is generally better for you, cheaper, and offers you greater variety. The Random Corner Store in the Bush is a little harder to find. You have to walk around the back

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Textbooks are expensive. For some reason, many students choose to purchase their books from the on-campus bookstore which, although it provides convenience, is the most expensive place to buy your books. There are several places, both on and off-campus, that provide cheaper alternatives where the primary purpose is to sell books, not make a profit off of them. The Capilano Students’ Union holds a used book sale and book consignment for the Fall, Spring, and Summer semesters. If you sell your used textbooks through them, you will get 60% of their retail price paid back to you. The CSU’s booksale is useful because they will take your textbooks, regardless of condition, as long as it is being used by a course in the current term. They sell textbooks at 70% of the bookstore’s new condition books. Last year the CSU decided that they wanted to make their booksale more interesting so they were even showing Planet Earth and giving out chocolate. Cheap(ish) books and chocolate sounds like a pretty great time to me. The Capilano bookstore sometimes is the only place you can get certain textbooks. While you’re there, you may as well get a Capilano University notebook, mug, or sweatshirt – something luxurious to get you through finals in a couple of months. The benefit of selling your books through the bookstore is that they will give you the money right away. If you buy your books from the bookstore, you also have the opportunity to get one of the reusable Capilano bags, which everyone is using these days. Online stores are also a good place to look for books. Sometimes you can get them really inexpensively, because the people who are selling their books really just want to get rid of them. Places like Amazon.ca are your standard marketplace, but websites like LocazU connect you directly with other students at Capilano who are selling books. LocazU is a new service, but as it becomes more popular it has the potential to be very useful – they’ve even developed a free App that allows you to scan the UPC on the back of a book and find a seller. Other online sites include places like Better World Books, which donates a portion of the book sale to one of the many charities that they support. Renting your textbooks is a relatively new concept, but is worth a try. You pay a fraction of what it would cost to buy the textbook and rent it for the semester. At the end of the semester, you return it and move on with your life. The downside to this is that you make no money off your books at the end of the semester, and, as it is a new development in the textbook world, their book selection isn’t always the best. Furthermore, many of the rental companies have yet to ship books up to Canada.

PLACES THAT EXIST ON CAMPUS THAT MORE PEOPLE SHOULD USE

ED I TO R / / Ad él ie Houl e- Lachance // s pe c i al fe ature s . c apc o uri e r@ gmai l . c o m

F e at u r e s of Seymour’s pub, and it’s nestled in amongst the housing complexes. I’ve never been here but I hear it has quite the variety of quick snack food. Seymour’s Pub is not our “almost on-campus”

can book to use when you have to work on the dreaded group projects. Downstairs, there are more secluded study areas, as well as a place with cushioned benches which make good temporary

one level higher than there are actual floors. As University Services also employ students. a result, it makes the perfect studying spot – it’s There are students working in the bookstore, in secluded, and people generally won’t bother you the library, and in the cafeteria. Getting a job with if you were there first. them seems pretty fun, too. MAKE MONEY ON CAMPUS

pub. Their food is expensive, as are their drinks. Although they provide some sort of discount to Capilano students, the discount makes it so that their prices are only a little bit higher than somewhere in downtown Vancouver. Basically, go here if you have so much money you’d throw it away. WHERE TO EXERCISE The Sportsplex obviously provides the best way to stay fit on campus. Although there are sports teams that you can try out for, the Sportsplex also offers a number of programs that are inexpensive or free. This Fall, they’re offering Hatha Yoga ($5/ drop-in), ultimate frisbee ($20/semester or $2/ drop-in), indoor soccer (free), therapeutic yoga ($190/semester), badminton and table tennis (free), drop-in basketball (free), Karate ($20/ semester), and the use of the weight room. Your other, less-strenuous alternative is to attend one of the Capilano Blues’ games. The Capilano Grind is the staircase that takes you from the basement of Fir right up to the top floor. Called the Capilano Grind because of its steep nature, students sometimes run up and down it for exercise, or climb up to the top because they need to talk to a professor about a paper they forgot to write. Hills are everywhere on Capilano’s campus. If you really want to get your exercise, you should run up and down them a bunch of times, just for fun.

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THE BEST SECLUDED AREAS

Everyone needs their personal space, even on campus. There are several secluded areas that make ideal spots for napping, studying, making out or whatever else you choose to use them for. I will provide these locations to you, but with one disclaimer: please do not have sex on any of the couches. The CSU recently had to pay more than $2500 to have their couches cleaned, and I’m pretty sure the couches were that dirty in the first place because too many dirty people were having sex on them. So stop. The Writing Centre is mostly useful for studying. There are computers and tables, as well as windows which make you feel less like you are in a jail. As it is on the top floor of Fir, the writing centre also receives any sunlight bestowed upon Cap first. The Language Lab is filled with people learning languages. Again, it is mostly useful as a good place to study, but I also hear that you can play Monopoly in different languages with your other language-studying friends. Donnez-moi l’argent! The Library is useful on several levels. Upstairs, there are a million study cubicles for you to study in, as well as little private rooms that you

Going to university is guaranteed to make you very low on money. Luckily, there are places on campus that you can make/take some of that money that you paid out in September back for your own bank account. Student Employment Services has a frequently updated list of employers seeking employees, as well as non-profits looking for volunteers. The list is on their website, but they also have an office in BR270 where you can talk to an advisor about job opportunities. The Capilano Courier is the autonomous student newspaper on campus. You are, in fact, beds. Be forewarned, however – as the library is reading it right now (you thought I was going the most logical place to go for everything, it is to write an entire article about Capilano and always busy with people who can’t think of any- not promote our own paper? Ha.). The Courier pays everyone who contributes to it – illustrawhere else to go. The CSU, in addition to providing a lounge tors, photographers, writers, editors, columnists, filled with couches and tables, also has an office that can provide you with photocopying, printing, popcorn, movie passes, free condoms, stationary supplies and other useful things that will help you study – all for a nominal fee. Their couches are the comfiest on campus, but too often have PDA-loving couples sleeping entangled in each other’s arms. It is an image that sometimes makes it very difficult to fall asleep. The only downside to the lounge is that it is often taken over by loud theatre students practising for their next assignment – if you can tune that out, you can actually get a lot of work done. The trees are everywhere, and provide seclusion where there would not normally be any. In fact, there’s a hole in a bush between Fir and and even the people who hand out our papers Cedar, and if you’re lucky enough to find it (not around campus. Arguably the easiest way to many people can) you will be privy to many art make money, you can get involved by dropping installations as well as some one on one time by the office in Maple 122 or by going to one of the story meetings, which happen every Tuesday with Capilano’s greatest nature. The Treehouse is another place provided at noon, also in Maple 122. The CSU hires a number of student employees to you by the CSU. Located in the Library Building, it often is the home to a variety of stu- every year, who work around the CSU and man dent meetings. When it isn’t, though, it is a great the front office, selling things like popcorn and place to be alone, or alone with somebody else ski passes to other students. You can also run for – the windows are high above the benches that an elected position (such as the Queer Students’ line its walls, so you can finally get some well- Liaison, Women’s Liaison, Social Justice Coordinator or Educational Issues Coordinator) in deserved privacy. The Staircase With No Purpose is one of the upcoming elections. All elected positions on Capilano’s greatest mysteries. Found to the left the CSU executive are paid a minimum of $400 of the library entrance, the staircase goes up a month.

FUN FACTS ABOUT THINGS The Egg of Knowledge can be found in the library building outside the Treehouse. Are you standing there? Good. Look up. See? It’s an egg! Not just any egg! THE EGG OF KNOWLEDGE. I have no idea why this is there but it is. The Drums of Capilano are actually buildings, made out of cement. Birch and the library building both have rounded portions that are meant to look like drums. In fact, the library was designed by the same architect who made the building down by English Bay with a tree growing out of the top. The library building also has trees hanging down from the ceiling, which is meant to represent where real trees used to be before they were cut down so that Capilano could be built. Outdoor art can be found all around campus. There are plenty of examples, but some of the key ones include the outdoor chess set in front of the

library; the bike covered in bike locks next to Fir; and the cement toilets at the top of Fir. One of the more subtle ones, however, is the planted heart outside the top entrance of Birch. If you take a creative picture of this one and send it to editor@ capilanocourier.com I’ll give the best submission a prize or something. There you have it: everything you need to know about Capilano. Ultimately, you should prepare yourself to complain non-stop about feeling tired, the waitlist process, transit, the weather, and the cafeteria food. Knowing that thousands of students before you have felt the same pain will make you feel significantly better as you make your way through the Fall semester. Welcome to university.

f e atu r e s

EAT DRINK AND BE FRUGAL The culture of cheap food in Vancouver By Claire Vulliamy // Arts editor

ne of the many challenges of a busy academic lifestyle is finding the time and money to feed oneself. As life is continuously frittered away on school and work, food tends to fall by the wayside. All things considered, coffee doesn’t count as a meal. On top of that, in an expensive city like Vancouver, just keeping a roof over one’s head is a top priority. Eating out is by no means a way to save, but it’s something that most people like to do (go figure). In 2007, the average British Columbian household spent $2,106 dining out, a figure that represents a quarter of all their food expenses for the entire year. Life on the go, with little time at home to cook, makes this occasionally necessary. Often, people find themselves buying overpriced food solely because of geographic proximity. Restaurant mark-ups often sit in the range of three times the cost of wholesale food. Considering everything that goes into maintaining a sit down establishment (staff, rent, appliances, hydro), these markups are necessary for making a real profit. A moderately successful restaurant typically keeps about 5% of its income. This is not to say that reasonable food isn’t out there; it’s just hard to find. Social networks, blogs, and other online resources have contributed to the quest of living affordably. Poor Starving Students (poorstarvingstudents.wordpress. com) is a Vancouver based blog that posts reviews of things such as Costco samples and inexpensive pho (Vietnamese noodle soup). Cheapcouver.com is another great website that covers all bases, with the modus operandi to “live like the prince/princess of Vancouver on a pauper’s budget.” This blog points out various deals on not only food, but gas prices, shopping, and groceries, to names a few. Smart restaurants operate based on target market, so when looking for a good deal, it’s advisable to scope out a part of town with a young or less wealthy population. Mount Pleasant is by no means an inexpensive neighbourhood, but it is relatively young, with the majority of its population being under 39. Many of the businesses

take note of this and cater to the prototypical “starving student”. The Foundation on Main and 7th is a pretty classic example, and is so clearly oriented towards a youth crowd that it’s hard not to do a double take whenever anyone clean-cut and over the age of fifty walks in. All prices already include tax, so at lunch you can get a saucy pile of vegetables for seven dollars on the dot. This brings us to an important point: if you’re ever looking to spend less money in restaurants, stick to lunch. Restaurants often offer identical dishes at lunch and dinner, but hike up the prices after 5:00. However, if you have to do dinner, The Foundation is famous for their nachos, and at $10 the small plate can easily feed two people. Steps away on Kingsway and 8th is Budgie’s Burritos, which serves up some good take-out fare for those short on time. However, making your own basic versions at home would cost approximately the sum of a tortilla, some beans, and rice (not exactly premium ingredients). The foil-wrapped burrito does stow away very well in a handbag, and is pretty discreet, eating-on-a-bus food if you nibble. Prices range from $6 to $8, depending on size and toppings. Hawker’s Delight serves a cheap meal up on Main and Prince Edward. This is basic Malaysian fare, like fried rice dishes and vegetable curries, that runs about $5 for a big plate. Sadly, unless you are a fan of Aramark, there isn’t a lot of food close to Capilano, but North Vancouver as a whole serves up some pretty good deals. Celina Kurz, jazz student at Capilano and long-time North Vancouver resident explains her experience eating out around the Lonsdale area. Celina says that she typically eats out about two to three days a week, more or less depending on time, money, and friends. “North Van does have way cheaper sushi than downtown, and pretty good quality,” says Celina. “In North Van, a bento box usually runs less than six bucks.” “Yuko Maki [near Lonsdale and 16th] is my favourite sushi place,” explains Celina. “For $5.95 you can choose three rolls from a big list, plus you get miso soup. For the same price you get a chicken teriyaki bento box! It's super cheap and

// Illustrations by Karen Picketts “These people,” he said, sweeping his arm across the hall “are not particularly poor and needy.” Many other churches provide free meals as well, but have not developed the popularity of these two temples as a social destination. The bottom line with food is that eating at home is always cheaper, and it also gives you more buying power. Not only can you afford to put your money into higher quality items, but more ethical products as well. If you shop wisely, the amount of money you can save is staggering. Sunrise Market on Powell and Gore can’t be beat for incredible deals on produce, A dramatic, but not particularly appealing example is the piles of speckled bananas running at 19 cents a pound. They aren’t pretty, but freeze a dozen of those bad boys and you’ll be drinking smoothies for weeks. Nothing is faster than a liquid meal! Most other produce ranges in the realm of 50 cents a pound, with large bags of peppers, onions, and potatoes going for a dollar. Dollar Grocers on Commercial and 6th is another popular joint for good deals on just about everything, including soy products and organic food. They also carry many basic ingredients like rice, oats, and dried beans in bulk. The owner, Quoc, explains that he constantly looks for new suppliers with items on special, and regularly changes his products in order to get the best deals. An excellent summary of all you need to know to keep your food spending low is the Vancouverbased book “Eating Well on Practically Nothing,” available at Spartacus Books on 310 West Hastings St, or through some Megaphone vendors. And, bonus, it contains great instructions on how to make your own home brew. Let’s face it : almost anything you can make for yourself will be better, because you know exactly what you like. Don’t spend money needlessly! Eating in Vancouver is an adventure, but while there is a wide range of options available, there’s nothing cheaper or more satisfying than home cooking. For a quick fix here is one last word of advice: get on the best of terms with your friends’ parents, and never go hungry again.

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just good decent food, and they have huge portions. For even cheaper, you can split either of the specials with a friend and just order an extra roll or an appy.” Pho Japolo is another favourite place, at 2070 Marine Drive, right next to Denny’s. “You can get a huge ass bowl of nice meaty pho – they have like, a hundred different types of meat – for around 6 bucks,” describes Celina. And veggie people, don’t despair : “My sister is a vegetarian and she orders the veggie pho, which just has lots of vegetables instead of meat.” Food downtown doesn’t run too cheap, but there are a few reasonable stand-outs other than pizza. The VCC Cafeteria is a training ground for students of the VCC culinary arts program. You can come support them by eating what they have just learned to make. For an hour and a half at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, five students in full chef uniform stand behind a row of cafeteria trays and wait to serve you. Dinner is served from 5:30-7:00. The most involved meal costs $6.90 and includes one main item, which is usually meat or seafood, and three sides: one starch and two vegetables. There is also usually at least one vegetarian option, which comes with salad. When I visited, the featured item was baked yams with tomato asiago topping, which went for $4.75 plus tax. The idea of having an eating establishment that is also a place of learning is a great one; it seems like a perfect reciprocal exchange. However, the students are learning how to make more complicated dishes for higher end fare, and the fussiness gets in the way of basic quality. Simple food done well is much better than involved food done badly. However, the portions are filling, and this is not a bad place to visit after spending hours studying in the Central Library. “Going to Temple” is a ubiquitous expression among young East Vancouverites, and is actually applied to two different places : one is a Hindu temple close to Main Street, called the Shree Mahalakshmi Temple, which serves a free lunch around 2 PM on Sundays; the other is a Sikh temple, the Akali Singh, which serves a free dinner Monday to Thursday at 7 PM. Both attract a crowd that appear to be mostly in their twenties. At the Sikh temple the crowd gathers early, arriving by bike, sometimes decorated vans, but mostly on foot. Most are only social with the group that they arrive with, and two turned down an interview. Adam, an attendee of the Sikh temple meal explains why he eats here. “It’s good food and I’m poor,” he says, and supposes that most others come for the same reason. “Most of them seem to be about my age,” he notes. However, Adam does not believe that all the people there need it, and he admits that he himself is not hopeless without it. He explains that his understanding is that the free meal is meant to be shared with the community, in order to bring people together. Indeed, the Akali Singh website states that Langar, or the free meal, is served for “all visitors/travelers/passers by regardless of caste, class or creed.” A member of the temple who did not disclose his name had something else to say. He explained that Langar is a tradition that is “over 700 years old” and was originally intended to help the “poor and needy.”

f e at u res

Cultural Evolution

A Photographic Journey Through China By Shannon Elliott // Production Manager

Courier

Travel Report

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n western society, exotic booze-fuelled summer vacations in remote corners of the world are a kind of rite of passage for college students and twenty-somethings alike. Europe, Southeast Asia, Australia and South America are all enormous draws, not only for their curvaceous sandy coastlines and easy-to-navigate tourist infrastructure, but for their proximity to other twenty-somethings also on vacation: your next drinking buddy or summer romance is probably going to be staying in the bunk bed right beside you at the guesthouse. While these sorts of adventures are, of course fun and awesome, I thought it would be cool to go backpacking in China instead. And, I would like to point out, that there is definitely something exciting about travelling off the beaten path. The most common response I received when I told people about my plan was, “Why would you ever want to go to China?” Most people in Canada my age have very little idea of what this vast, crowded nation is really like and neither did I. Aside from the Great Wall, the Tiananmen Square massacre, terra cotta warriors and pandas, I didn’t know what to expect at all. In fact, it wasn’t even my idea to go. It was my lo fan* friend who convinced me that it would to be a life-changing and inspiring trip – not to mention my ancestral homeland. It’s sad, but despite being descended from one of the oldest Chinese families in Canada, I have no connection with my heritage – I can’t even speak the language. While researching the trip, I was both intrigued and discouraged by what I found. Although having shed its image of the “last stronghold of communism” in favour of becoming the world’s fastest growing economic superpower most likely to take over the globe, China is still plagued with third world problems such as overpopulation, pollution, poverty, AIDS, and a Byzantine government capable of ruthless human rights violations. Nevertheless, China boasts some of the

* “The White Devil” (Cantonese) – affectionate term used by the Chinese to describe their western kin.

most impressive and important historical relics  Chinese tourists, each one yelling at the top of his or her lungs and pushing and shoving to take photos of everything. in the world, and travelers all over the internet ex- Although I had to club several people out of the way to get a reasonably tourist-free shot, by the end of the trip I was tolled the wonders of its pastoral landscapes and used to being carried around in the human tide. cool cities. Not to mention that travel in China is cheap by our standards: on a budget, a meal should run you about a dollar; a long taxi ride, five; and a night in a decent guesthouse around ten. But in the end, what won me over to this pilgrimage to the land of my ancestors was simply that it was so out there- none of my friends were doing it, so why shouldn’t I be the first? Why shouldn’t I try something different? Let me say this right away: China is not for beginners. China is an unimaginably vast country, densely packed with milling throngs of people. The air quality in most of the country is so bad that half the population wears face masks at all times when outdoors. Nobody speaks any English, so it is essential to have a phrase book at all times and learn some simple sentences in Mandarin or Cantonese depending on which parts of the country you are visiting. Streets are confusingly labelled, the food is mostly unrecog nizable, and the public transit system is a nightmare. I knew as soon as my plane touched down in Beijing that we were in for a difficult time, as I was nearly murdered by several reckless drivers when trying to cross the street from the taxi to my guesthouse. It turns out that these drivers were not in fact, drunk, but merely driving the way that everyone drives in China – it’s the pedestrian’s job to get the f*** out the way. Over the course of the following month, I learned a lot about China, the Chinese, and how to survive in a completely confusing and alien country. For one thing, we had to be willing to navigate around foods that we were fundamen-

The Forbidden City // Nobody told me that every tourist attraction I visited would be swarming with crowds of

 Beijing City is huge, sprawling, old, and confusing. As the capital of China, most planes land here and this is the first impression one gets of China.  Tiananmen Square is surreal. The portrait of Mao is definitely very creepy. Add to this the omnipotent military presence and the carefully shepherded crowds of tourists, one feels strangely claustrophobic in such a huge space.

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f e atu r e s

  The Temple of Heaven is ironically placed directly across the street from another kind of heaven, the designer goods knock-off mecca of the world, Pearl Market. tally opposed to, dog and worm being some of the less mysterious meats available. We tried to eat mostly at do-it-yourself hot pot places, or restaurants with photo menus. I drew pictures of cows, ducks, and beer in my sketchbook and didn’t hesitate to whip them out to politely confused waitresses. Also, taking public transit is sometimes more hassle than it’s worth to save a buck. We did learn a neat trick from a random traveller: taking a cell phone photo of the Chinese translation of where we wanted to go on the internet and showing it to the cab driver would get us further than loudly repeating what we thought was the correct pronunciation. Dialects vary so greatly from province to province that what we learned in the last city was basically useless in the next. We also became experts at haggling, which was easy because nearly every vendor carries a calculator to punch out their “best price” – the language of cash is universal. Oh, and how could I forget the hilariously embarrassing experience of visiting a spa in Xian that turned out to be a prostitution front halfway through our massages. Every journey has its ups and downs and although China was definitely no spa vacation, I had some epic experiences that made it worthwhile ten times over. Seeing the Great Wall, Tiananmen Square, and the terra cotta warriors are all must-sees for history buffs, but it was really the smaller, more human experiences that stick with me: The hilariously loud and drunk rural homestay family who cooked us a questionable meal, but served us a mean bottle of moonshine and good-naturedly pumped water out of the village well for my hungover bath the next morning; the random helpful college students who led us to Shanghai’s hippest underground dubstep

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 The Great Wall // Hiking the Wall was shockingly punishing, exacerbated by poor air quality and the cackling grannies who chase you around and guilt you into buying t-shirts, but the views were spectacular and free of the usual hordes of tourists.

 Xitang Water Town appeared out of nowhere from a desolate industrial wasteland dotted with garbage incinerators and nuclear reactors.

 Yangshuo // This picturesque river bordered by soaring limestone formations is the golden ideal of Chinese landscapes.

 Hong Kong // Although technically part of China, Hong Kong is a distinctly different creature. This futuristic city is straight out of Blade Runner, densely overpopulated and crammed with neon billboards and monolithic skyscrapers.

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club at four in the morning; the crazy market ladies who literally grabbed us by the arm and harangued us like misguided granddaughters into purchasing knockoff Adidas tracksuits; the massage parlour madame who taught us the medicinal values of drinking snake venom; the paparazzi Chinese who insisted on taking pictures of my friend’s blonde hair every street corner; the random driver who thought I was a prostitute in my “club wear” and tried to offer me money; and the countless mystery foods I was offered by helpful chefs and waiters. None of these are experiences I ever would have had sitting at home, being afraid to try anything strange or new. The pictures say it all. China is a huge, multilayered country, often confusing but never boring. Beautiful, but completely foreign, it’s more of a feeling than something I can describe. It’s definitely something that everyone should experience in their lifetime, so go! You won’t regret it. I myself am already planning my next adventure on the other side of the sea.

a rt s

EDI T OR // Cl aire Vuil l amy // arts @ c api l ano c o uri e r. c o m

SUB-PAR SUBSCRIPTION Main Street Magazine Tour fails to deliver By JJ Brewis // Art director

really wanted to like the Main Street Magazine tour. As someone who buys a handful of print issues every payday, it seemed like the perfect way to spend a Thursday night. But this event, despite glossy advertising and prime locales, came up short in terms of living up to its name. On Thursday, August 18, the Magazine Association of BC organized a series of talks, workshops, and seminars promising to be a “celebration of local arts and literary magazines and the community spaces in which they thrive.” This event is the Association’s latest attempt to bring awareness to an industry that needs constant promoting. For a group that represents and connects over 75 publications, a small tour like this seemed like a great resource for reaching people individually. The tour began at Dr. Sun Yet Sen Classical Chinese Garden, where attendees were given the evening’s schedule and told to pick one of the two tours available. Sadly, each tour only seemed to have one interesting selection, yet we were told that dividing time between the two tours would be next to impossible given that both tours strayed in two different directions. I opted on ‘Tour A’ which promised to focus on a ‘how to get published’ talk as well as a ‘smattering’ of

four local writers in ‘Local Literary Excellence.’ Whoever marketed this event did a great job of really playing up resources and events, because both components ended up sounding much better than they actually were. Tour guide, Sara Bynoe, did a great job of keeping the group excited about the event despite its obvious flaws. Bynoe is well-known around town as a host of “SAY WHA?”, a reading series based in Vancouver. As she was familiar with many of the readers and publications involved in the tour, Bynoe seemed like a great candidate. Her personality and ability to showcase the exciting parts of the stops was a definite asset. Sadly, despite her vibrant nature, the tour components didn’t really add up. The first stop was a panel discussion with two editors from Room Magazine, held at the Everything Cafe. The venue itself was kind to lend its space to the tour for nearly an hour, yet the sounds of espresso machines overpowered the speakers. Room deserves acclaim as Canada’s eldest publication by and for women. Now in its 35th year, the literary journal has stood the test of time, with contributors including big names like Alice Munro. Many of the tips the women on the panel shared were great for those wanting to submit to literary journals, such as targeting your market, reading your contemporaries, and being very careful with submission guidelines. However, most of what they said applied strictly

to literary journals, not to the more diverse magazine format that the tour was supposed to be promoting. The tour’s second stop was at local arts space Blim, and featured a lineup of four local poets whose works have been published under the umbrella of sister publications Prism and Event. Both are UBC-related literary journals, which focus on both fiction and non-fiction, such as book reviews and poetry. The lineup itself was tolerable, with highlight by Gillian Jerome, who shared a touching rendition of a John Keats poem before launching into her own works. Freshly home from a trip out East, Jerome used the piece as inspiration to calm and ground herself and to connect with the crowd. However, once the session finished, it concluded the tour, and I was left with far more questions than answers. What did these readings have to say about the magazine industry? The final stop of the evening was back at the Chinese Garden, where Bynoe and alternate tour guide Jaz Halloran led an evening of even more readings, in collaboration with OCW Magazine. While this portion of the tour was certainly entertaining, it, like most of the tour, didn’t give the outlook into the lives or offices of the magazines that I’d hoped the tour would. It would have been more preferable to speak to insider professionals and gain knowledge of the publishing world of magazines as a medium, rather than hear read-

// Lydia Fu ings from people who have submitted poetry to literary journals. The Main Street Magazine Tour is a great concept that can hopefully be expanded on to include more magazine content beyond the literary journal components that were included in my half of the tour. With great sponsors including The Georgia Straight, Yelp, and Vancouver Is Awesome, and with some strong publications willing to take part, it would be fantastic to see this become an event that grows and flourishes more each year. Our city has some other wonderful publications to its name, led by a strong group of publishing and editorial gurus who likely have a lot to say about their industry. Hearing from them and gaining some real insight into this exciting and constantly changing medium is definitely a good platform to build and grow from.

EARTHDANCE GLOBAL FESTIVAL FOR PEACE A doorway into the culture of electronic dance By Adélie Houle-Lachance // Features Editor

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ach year when the warm summer sun begins to dim and the autumn equinox draws near, the Vancouver weather permits Earthdance, an international dance festival, to be held, marking the end of the festival season. This is a transition time, offering closure to those who attend summer festivals. For the ones who have yet to experience these summer gatherings, it is a doorway into the community that exists around dance culture. Held during the day in Vancouver's Stanley Park on September 24th, Earthdance is an international festival happening simultaneously around the world, connecting global communities who join together locally under a common goal of creating a culture of peace and world unity through methods such as dance, prayer, art, and activism. The seed of Earthdance was planted when co-founder Chris Deccker stood in the pyramid of Giza and had a vision where he saw different people around the world all dancing for peace simultaneously. From there, the idea sprouted in London, where it spread throughout the psytrance music network in Europe with its already prominent festival culture. The first Earthdance took place in 1997, with 18 countries participating. Now held in 500 locations in 80 countries, Earthdance has grown to be one of the largest synchronized music events for peace. When the first Earthdance took place, the pro-

ests that encompass our planet and to protect the vital biodiversity found within them. Sobey Wing is an event producer living in Vancouver, and has been involved with Earthdance since its beginning in 1997. He is the co-founder of Tribal Harmonix (www.tribalhamornix.org), which was strongly inspired by Earthdance in his desire to “create a perpetual type of community similar to what we experience on the day of Earthdance.” He organized his first Earthdance in 2002 in the Downtown Eastside, and then moved to Stanley Park the following year, where it has // Stefan Tosheff been held since. ceeds were given to Tibet. Sobey Wing, organizer Earthdance Vancouver is an open access, by of Earthdance Vancouver, explains that the Da- donation daytime event, arranged to pique the lai Lama responded by saying that more causes curiosity of passers by, welcome newcomers, and needed to be benefited, as “many other places invite a mixture of generations and individuals. At around the world [were] in need of this energy, Earthdance this year, one can attend workshops this peace vibration.” on topics such as forest gardening, indigenous Now, every local Earthdance donates 50% of culture, creative technology, and media. Attendits profits to a different organization or charity ees are also invited to share art through Art for each year, chosen based on the theme of the fes- Peace, in which artwork can be contributed to be tival. This year, Earthdance Vancouver will be do- showcased and auctioned. There is also a tribal nating to the Ancient Forest Alliance, a company market where artisans are able to sell their own which works to protect the remaining old growth jewelry and clothing. forests on Vancouver Island, the Southern MainEarthdance cultivates a safe environment for land and the Southern Interior. This organization individuals to creatively express themselves. This has been selected according to this year's theme year will include a theatrical aspect where people of forests, as per the UN Year of Forests, empow- are encouraged to “come as forest creatures, tree ering communities to globally celebrate the for- spirits or nature spirits”, describes Wing. Each

year the Prayer for Peace, a synchronized global prayer for unity, and spiral dance takes place, providing those present with an “understanding of what is possible with this [dance] music culture; it shows us that we can unite in powerful ways and people have profound experiences... we can create contact and raise energy”. “If you haven't experienced electronic music on a good sound system, especially outdoors, then you haven't experienced electronic music to its full capacity”, explains Wing. Wing goes on to say that electronic music is so intricately layered and blended that dancers “dissolve themselves into the music”, creating a tribal experience at gatherings where individuals can connect and dance together, collectively raising energy. When dancing outdoors, “you can feel the frequencies mingling with the sounds of the natural environment, you can feel the bass reverberating around into your body and feel how that connects you with your environment”. Dancers are able to creatively express themselves, play and interact in an open space, and “when the music reaches that level of primal energy it's just about releasing and letting go.” Earthdance is a good introduction to electronic dance culture with a higher purpose. It gives individuals an opportunity to take part in something greater, while allowing for characters outside of our daily consumer culture to take flight. Earthdance takes place in Stanley Park, near the Prospect Point picnic area, on September 24th.

A r ts

WHAT STEPHEN HARPEr ISN’T READING And what Yann Martel thinks he should By Amanda Shendruk // The Fulcrum (University of Ottawa)

TTAWA (CUP) – On April 14, 2007, Canadian author Yann Martel decided to take on the prime minister. The Life of Pi author, disenchanted with the quality of arts appreciation and funding in Canada, made a declaration in The Globe and Mail: “For as long as Stephen Harper is Prime Minister of Canada, I vow to send him every two weeks, mailed on a Monday, a book that has been known to expand stillness. That book will be inscribed and will be accompanied by a letter I will

have written.” And since that day, Martel has staunchly upheld his word. For nearly four years, Stephen Harper has received provocative, witty and informative letters exploring accompanying graphic novels, religious scriptures, poetry, children’s books, song lyrics, drama scripts and novels carefully selected by the prominent Canadian literary figure. The list has certainly been diverse: Read All About It! by Laura and Jenna Bush has been mailed, along with Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak, and Candide by Voltaire. On January 31 of this year, however, Martel

// Arin Ringwald

sent his 100th and final book to the prime minster: Scorched by Wajdi Mouawad. In the accompanying letter Martel writes, “I said, over and over, that I would persist with our exclusive book club as long as you were in power … while it’s been a great pleasure for me (I don’t know about you), I’ve been doing it for close to four years now and I want to move on … It’s true, too, that I’m tired of using books as political bullets and grenades. Books are too precious and wonderful to be used for long in such a fashion.” In February, Martel sent one more book, number 101, as a postscript. The book was In Search of Lost Time, by Marcel Proust, a six volume box set. In this excerpt from the accompanying letter, Yann Martel expresses his regrets that he himself has never read it. “So why did I never take on Proust’s masterpiece? I suppose for the same reason that many books are left unread, a mixture of fear and slothfulness, fear that I wouldn’t understand the work and unwillingness to spend so much intellectual energy reading all those pages. But as you and I both know, fear and slothfulness lead nowhere. Great achievements only come through courage and hard work. In sending you Proust’s monument, then, I’m reminding myself that I, too, must read it. I’m committed to reading it from start to finish before I die, and I hope you join me in making that same commitment.” Though Martel’s four-year literary and political endeavour didn’t yield a single response from the prime minister, the project has not gone to waste. Random House has published a compilation of

R e a d i n g l i st A port ion o f the b ooks sent to Prime M in ister Stephen H arper:

The Death of Ivan Ilych, by Leo Tolstoy • Animal Farm, by George Orwell • The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, by Agatha Christie • By Grand Central Station I Sat Down and Wept, by Elizabeth Smart • Bonjour Tristesse, by Francoise Sagan • Candide, by Voltaire • Short and Sweet: 101 Very Short Poems, edited by Simon Armitage • Chronicle of a Death Foretold, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez • Miss Julia, by August Strindberg • The Watsons, by Jane Austen • Maus, by Art Spiegelman • To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee • Le Petit Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupery • Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit, by Jeanette Winterson • Letters to a Young Poet, by Rainer Maria Rilke • The Island Means Minago, by Milton Acorn • Metamorphosis, by Franz Kafka • The Educated Imagination, by Northrop Frye • The Dragonfly of Chicoutimi, by Larry Tremblay • A Clockwork Orange, by Antony Burgess many of the letters, which became the 66th book Martel sent to Harper. The scribe has also inadvertently provided Canadians with a fantastic summer reading list. For a complete compilation of the accompanying letters, check out Martel’s website: www. whatisstephenharperreading.ca.

CELEBRATING 101 YEARS OF SUMMER FUN Is the PNE still relevant? That’s a silly question By Celina Kurz // Copy Editor

A GUIDE B A S E D ON E XP E RI E N C E

1) Buy a ride pass (rather than a gate/ride combo pass) and when you go up to the ticket taker, tell them you are 13. This saves you approximately $15. This helps if you are a girl, the ticket taker is a boy, and you act like you own the world. 2) Buy a gate pass. Bring a pack of markers. Notice the colour of the ride stamps on people’s hands. Wait until it starts getting dark, draw a blobby smudge on your hand. Act like you own the world, ride coaster 10 times, repeat. This saves you approximately $40. 3) Bring your own liquor, if you are so inclined. Beer costs seven bucks! No thank you, “the man”. I wasn’t screaming from excitement,” said my PNE companion Alie Lynch. “I was screaming from pure terror.” I would personally describe it as being in an airplane, but without the airplane. The ride is basically the same as the Swings, but it takes you approximately 200 feet into the air. Despite the terror, Lynch reports feeling “totally jacked” upon returning to the ground. “I’m pretty sure this is what cocaine feels like.” After about ten or so rides it was getting close to six, so we did a quick tour of Safeway Farm Country. If the idea of little baby ducklings, little baby chicks, miniature horses, and racing pigs doesn’t excite you, then I’m not sure why you

are reading an article about the PNE. Perhaps you have a textbook you should be reading instead. Perhaps you have a party you need to be pooping. At six, we met up with some acquaintances at Superdogs. Superdogs is by far my favourite part of the PNE and, even better, entrance is free with your gate pass. The fact is that there is possibly nothing in the world more fun than cheering for dogs. I don’t think there are any other competitions where the subjects who are racing care so little about how well they do, but still do incredible, amazing, athletic things that blow your mind. You can also “meet the Superdogs” after the show and say hello to your favourite pup (if you can make it through the crowd of 8-year-olds). By the time we left the arena, it had begun to get dark out. This worked in our advantage, because a lot of families started leaving. We finished off the night by hitting up the rides we missed : in addition to the Starship 3000 (if you are ever doing a time travel scene for a movie, just strap yourself into this ride with a camera) and 1001 Nachts (ultimate pukefest), we went on the Coaster over, and over, and over again. We did it so many times that we would plan faces to make for the picture, looking stern, looking cute, and so on. The Coaster is the greatest rollercoaster on earth. We also managed to catch a bit of the nightly fireworks show, which involves not only fireworks, but flame cannons so huge you feel the heat from the fire from 100 meters away. In addition, we heard Neil Diamond impersonator “Nearly Neil” performing a few tunes in the beer

garden. It would have been great to hear more, as the whole band sounded incredibly tight, and Nearly Neil was wearing a blue sequin suit. As modern Vancouverites, it can sometimes feel like nothing will surprise us. In 2011, our world is far larger than it was in 1910, when the PNE first came to Vancouver. However, the PNE continues to bring excitement and happiness to our city, if only for a few weeks in late summer. If you didn’t manage to make the time to visit the PNE this year, I truly hope you make it out next year. I hope you get to cheer for a pug, or cheat your way onto your favourite rides, and I hope when you leave you feel a little bit nauseous and a little bit drunk from adrenaline. If you did spend a day at the PNE this year, I just hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

// Sarah Taylor

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’m going to begin with a confession: I’m in love with the PNE. I’ve gone almost every year since elementary school, and I always spring the money to go on the rides. I admit that the PNE has its flaws; namely, if you want to go on rides, or eat food, or gamble, it’s remarkably expensive. And it’s true that without the rides and the ridiculous $25 hotdog that they were selling at Crazy Dog, you can have an enormous amount of affordable fun, with a gate pass going for just $16.80. That being said, however, I’m a believer in the idea that money was invented to be spent on things you will enjoy, and there are few thing I enjoy more than rollercoasters. My companion and I arrived at the PNE at 3 p.m and decided to begin with the rides, as we noticed the next Superdogs show didn’t start until six. We were pleased to find that most rides actually had very short, sometimes nonexistent lines. Most classics such as the Swings, Enterprise, Pirate Ship, and various eggbeater-style rides were very easy to get on to. However, we were disappointed to see the line for the new ride, “Atmosfear”. A word of warning to thrill-seekers: if you are there on a sunny day, expect to wait up to or more than an hour to get onto this hot new attraction, and get really frustrated when you see empty seats. That being said, when we came back later in the evening and the line had shrunk somewhat, it was completely worth it. “When I was up there,

HO W T O S A V E MONE Y

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Co l u m n s

ED I TO R / / Samant ha Thompson + Sarah Vit et // e di to r@ c api l ano c o uri e r. c o m

Pop justice

Why Amy Winehouse matters: Threads in human compassion

as a rock star whose substances were part of the greatness, while Amy Winehouse is called a “dumb bitch” for succumbing to her addictions? [Autopsy reports came back inconclusive, yet no drugs were found on the scene. Reports have been raised listing ‘alcohol withdrawal’ as a possible cause of death, a heartbreaking possibility of an attempt at bettering her life.] Reasons for the Cobain-Winehouse shift can be speculated. Perhaps in a male-dominated culture such as the music industry, a man is to be praised for his talents, despite his flaws. In the Internet age of chasing famous women down with cameras and catching them upskirt, the public is saying it’s still more than a little bit sexist. Winehouse, as a female, did quite well for herself in a very short time. Yet, as a troubled woman, she is pegged a failure due to her personal problems. People as a whole can tend to have the inability to root for each other, especially among the celebrities. Perhaps jealousy is part of the issue. But, as noted time and time again, society has a fascination with putting people on a pedestal just to knock them down. Look at Britney Spears, the one-time princess of the pop music world: an attempt to keep her personal life private was seen as an invitation by paparazzi to egg her on, and essentially kick her

while she was down. Michael Jackson, the man with the greatest selling album of all time, was also no exception. In the mid-80s there was likely a copy of Thriller in everyone’s house, and you couldn’t walk down the street without seeing a product placement or album promo for him. Yet just a decade later, his career was already on the decline, and the media and public never gave him a second chance, nor the benefit of the doubt, despite the fact that he was never even found guilty of any charges he was accused of. What is unique in Winehouse’s case is that she was never even accused of harming anyone other than herself: the only headlines she ever made were for topping the charts and for appearing thin after drug use. When I told colleagues that Amy’s death had affected me, and that I felt like I had lost a friend, people reacted rudely and said I was stupid. I heard the same people laugh and call her a failure. Yet this creates an even more perplexing stigma: why is it seen as odd to feel that a celebrity can be a positive personal connection through their work, yet it is socially acceptable to personally attack someone that you have no connection to? Society passing judgment on someone it doesn’t personally know is destructive. It’s as damaging to ourselves as it is to those

// Art director

we point the finger at, which suggests we are not all that satisfied with our own lives, requiring a scapegoat to rest our insecurities upon. It’s almost as if to say, “Well, if she can’t get her shit together as a millionaire, I don’t have to feel so bad about myself as a struggling middle-class person.” However, in the case of emotional and mental capabilities, money isn’t necessarily going to make a difference. As a society, we need to lean more toward helping people out, rather than closing doors and causing misery to the already troubled. And in death, we should be taking our last opportunity to either say something positive or keep our mouths shut entirely. Sure, maybe nobody was surprised when Amy Winehouse passed away. However, her death is not something that should be mocked and jeered at. When it is no longer surprising when another person dies, that in itself says so much more about all of us than about Winehouse herself. But then again, that’s part of the problem. JJ Brewis is quite possibly the keenest member of our editorial staff. He has been writing columns on various topics for the Courier for three years now. This term, he is using celebrity examples to examine the flaws in our society.

// Author illustration

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his past July, when British recording artist and five time Grammy winner Amy Winehouse was found dead in her Camden flat, the recording industry lost out on arguably the most promising talent of this generation. Though Winehouse was gifted with an incredible voice, backed by a dark-yet-compelling lyrical prowess, her career was cut short due to an unfortunate battle with substance abuse. Even though her accolades in such a small time frame of a career were plentiful, the public and members of the media have not only failed to pay proper tribute to an industry great, but also tackled the news of her death with a lack of support or compassion. But compassion does not run freely the way it used to. People are quick to attack or degrade one another, and for one reason or another we have defaulted to this type of negative behavior, rather than allowing support systems. When the status of a celebrity is involved, issues of jealousy, idolization, and over-exposure open the floodgates to the rest of us feeling entitled to remove the ‘person’ from the persona. Winehouse, who passed at the age of 27, joins a small but alarming group of other musicians who all died at the same age; Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix among them. Within hours of her death, the Internet had (naturally) over-analyzed her departure, placing her among the aforementioned rockers in “The 27 Club”. As Kelly Osbourne, Winehouse’s friend, posted to her Twitter page, “It’s a tragedy and a curse, not a fucking club.” The response to Winehouse’s death, however, contrasted greatly with others in the “club”. When Cobain killed himself back in 1994, music fans and critics alike focused on praising his talents, saddened by the loss of such a young star. Despite a long-time history of heroin use and depression, in his death, the focus was on his musical legacy and his personality as a bandleader, husband, and father. Even those who chose to address the whole story, including Cobain’s struggles and substance use, shifted the focus to portray him as a “rock god” whose flaws were just a part of the enigma, a propelling force in the creativity that was his music. Conversely, Winehouse’s death, seventeen years later, has been treated in an entirely different social scope. “She should have gone to rehab,” became a popular Twitter slogan. “Not surprising in the least,” became a repeated phrase both in Facebook status updates and ‘memorial tributes’ found in the press. Winehouse’s struggles and career lows were pivot points in such articles, which often barely brushed on her successes, leaving out career triumphs in exchange for exploiting the hard, emotional road of a very obviously heartfelt and troubled young woman. If Winehouse’s life hadn’t been overexposed to full capacity by the paparazzi and media in her lifetime, they made up for it in her death. Yet news rags plastered her face in the tabloid news one last time, alongside such headlines as “No, no, no,” the epitaph-worthy and posthumously haunting hook from her biggest single “Rehab”. Why, then, is Kurt Cobain celebrated in death

With JJ Brewis

c o l u m ns The Fallout Files

With Kevin Murray // Humour + Fiction Editor

Got God? who couldn’t come out because it meant their eternal souls if they did.” He eventually left the seminary, married a woman, became a professor, and fathered two children. After 25 years of wedlock, he ﬁnally admitted the truth to his wife and himself. He left, and on a soul-searching eligion is a four-letter word. It is the opi- trip to Bhutan, he visited a shrine where he saw ate of the masses; it is a patriarchal power a naked statue of a Buddha depicted in full sexstructure bent on world domination; it is fanaticism, death-threats, suicide bombers and no birth control in the Congo. It is madness, monstrous, cliché – just like this whole paragraph. Think again, for yourself: I’ve just delivered you a payload of propaganda. Have you got God? Think about it. How did you get him? Met him at the supermarket? At a Yoga retreat? In a wet dream where he wore a Harry Potter mask and you played Hagrid in a halter-top? Chances are, you got him through indoctrination, from the thick lips of some robed guy who heard something from some other robed guy, and you probably keep him through faith. A good friend of mine who is a philosophy professor at a major Ontario university once told me a story about his experience with faith: He spent 12 years in a Catholic seminary in pursuit of the divine revelation he expected was right around the next cloister. It never arrived. “Twelve years ... praying and searching and preparing for a life of service to God. And you know // Lydia Fu what I found? A hiding place for other gay men

I was born in sleep and raised in sleep and wake to find myself sleepwalking. The figures I know all have shadows … This world in its order decomposes into air… —Aaron Shurin

ual union with a female consort, complete with heaving breasts and a fully erect penis. My friend describes this encounter as the penultimate; it shattered his spiritual conceptions, leaving him liberated. “It just validated my sense that sexuality can be an integral part of some spirituality,” he explained. For him, the old adage was true: In the West, God is found without. In the East, God within. My intention is not to promote Buddhism and denigrate Catholicism. Rather, it is to advocate for direct experience. In the case of my friend, he had to fall out from the falsehoods of the church to ﬁnd his own truth, as must we all. The fallout will be free thought, and it is also the theme. Because whether it is the words of your professor or priest, the authority of some sacred text, or your mother’s sweet soothings before bedtime, your minds are full of faith in authority of one kind or another. You have faith because it has been encouraged. You’ve been told, “You’re a good little girl. Now eat your brussel sprouts.” You’ve been conditioned into our cultural traditions, hopefully through love. Oh yes, much of this has been done with all the best intentions. For instance, at the tender age of 12, I was offered a brand new bike for my Catholic conﬁrmation present. That means I traded my soul’s eternal fealty for a shiny blue and white CC 12-speed from Canadian Tire. How’s that for a bargain?

People Watching

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 1

After a year away, past editor Kevin Murray is back at the Courier to make us all think deeply and squirm in our seats. His column is an exploration of religion and enlightenment.

With Heather Welsh

The predictability of human beings he Lone Traveler leans his dry elbows on the counter, edging closer and closer towards me with every word he breathes in my direction. It is almost as though he believes his behaviour will somehow result in friendship with staff at the hostel. “Hey guys, who wants to join me on the pub crawl later?” he practically shouted to my suddenly subdued co-workers. This is typical behavior for this “breed” of traveler – and unfortunately, it is all too easy to typecast the guests who check-in and out of the hostel where I work. Annoying or funny, self-obsessed or extravagant: characters can encompass so many different traits that become apparent even upon a first meeting. Instead of identifying which traits make people different, it is actually most fascinating to realize which traits make people alike. It is so fascinating, in fact, that I find myself categorizing guests all day long. “People watching” is defined on Wikipedia as “the act of observing people and their interactions, usually without their knowledge.” I often wonder what makes people act the way they do, and people watching can be a way to try and figure this out. It comes perfectly naturally to me to categorize people whilst working, and although I know they’re not life changing observations, it can provide hours of endless entertainment given the right circumstances. The Lone Traveler is a very specific category of hostel guest – this isn’t just any person traveling alone. This person makes sure that you know they are alone, and won’t leave you alone. One morning, a Lone Traveler hovered around the front lobby in the hostel pretending to look at posters and leaflets, feigning interest in the

So enough of faith, and on to experience, and what we can verify with sense and science combined. We are all in a process of redeﬁning our religious identities in a sea of blinking, winking symbols all vying for our attention, slipping past us into darkness. Our secular society is recalibrating itself, and the end results will look nothing like we expect. As I write this, I am preparing for the Burning Man festival, a 50,000 + art and music gathering the Black Rock Desert of Nevada. The party ends with the ritual torching of a skyscraper sized wicker man, set to an orgy of ﬁre and drums. Many bring hand written pages containing hurts, hates, and fears to the Man in the days leading up to the event and pin them to him, others write wishes. When the Man burns, many report a great spiritual alchemy. Perhaps spirituality in modern times will become what we make it, because it appears as if we have rejected the goldplated patriarchy of our churchly fathers. In my next column, I plan to capture a tale of spiritual transcendence on the high desert playa, a rite of passage for adults who have spent too long in extended adolescence. Welcome to the Fallout Files.

pieces of literature for close to half an hour. He waited for the opportune moment, and all of a sudden he swiftly turned and pounced. A million questions had come over him all at once! “So where exactly have you been on this street, and when was it you went? Were you there last night because I thought I saw you?” and “When I was in Thailand, I had some really good tea from this street market, it was called ‘cha-yen’ or something I think, are there any good places around here that sell tea like that?” Endless questions followed by immeasurable amounts of sucking up. If you show any interest in their plans – bam – you’re their new best friend. Back from his little trip to Whistler, one Lone Traveler didn’t realize his friendship with the staff was heavily one-sided. Angry at a staff member for not remembering his name, he began to rant loudly in the lobby: “I go away for a few days and you’ve all forgotten me already, I mean, I’m an Asian Australian, you can’t get many of those can you? I remember your names! I feel rejected!” Moderately to extremely socially inept, this traveler doesn’t understand what it means to be ignored – regardless of how blunt you get. So when a lull in other guests’ needs arises, he’s there, leaning over the counter, again, trying to talk about some boxing ring he went to last night while simultaneously showing off his bruised knuckles like it’s earning him massive cred with all the staff. The Lone Traveler desperately wants to be part of the staff “crew”. Sitting on his laptop on the sofas in the lobby, peering over the top of it to see what we are up to (yup, still just doing

our jobs), he then proceeds to use Skype with no headphones, so everyone in the area gets to hear about his amazing trip to Kits beach where he met some “total babes” and got free whiskey from some crazy guy with an afro. It’s a wonder the Lone Traveler gets any sight-seeing done at all, what with all the time he spends talking about the things he’s supposedly done. (That is, unless they go on the tours organized for them. And then guess what – the tour guide is their new best friend). Put simply, it is clear that there’s a reason they are traveling alone. In contrast, there is the other species of lone traveler – “Mr. or Mrs. Organized”. He or she is so confident in their own ability as an independent adventurer that they certainly don’t need your help. One morning Mrs. Organized came to complain to me about the breakfast, asking, “Why is it only set up at 7.30am? I was up and ready to go at 7am and I had my whole day planned, and we have this whale watching trip to get to but first Mike and I were going to go for a jog and really it’s just put us out of sync for the day!” She then decided to put in a request for a special early breakfast – just for her and her husband. I mean, I know the saying goes the early bird catches the worm, but this is ridiculous. Mr. Organized has whipped out his fancy document pouch complete with confirmation numbers for things that I never knew existed, on more than one occasion. He knows (or thinks he knows) more than the locals about Vancouver, and carries a carefully word-processed itinerary at all times. A vacation is about routine, productivity and completion, is it not? This character can easily crossover with the

// Columnist

keen “Active Traveler” – up at the crack of dawn, this guest brings skis and a bike and intends to use them both. One Active Traveler saw that I had a tiny cut on my finger and pulled his first aid kit from the depths of his Mary Poppins backpack, before asking if he could store his walking poles with me for the day. “I’m sure you’ll need them in downtown Vancouver,” a colleague replied. The Active Traveler will ask for the location of the nearest Mountain Equipment Co-op – he is a member from last time he visited, he shrieks excitedly. On the way out, he asks, “Do you know anyone interested in buying a portable kayak?” You’ve probably met people who fit into these categories – and you can tell this is what they’d be like as a traveler, simply from the way they act completing day-to-day tasks like taking the bus and buying groceries. The Lone Traveler is pretty harmless if you know how to put your foot down when he/she start to pester, or if you are not travelling alone yourself. And Mrs. Organized will be out of the door for the day before you have even returned from a night out exploring local watering holes. These kinds of people are what make traveling, or working in the service industry, interesting. And now, when I see “Mrs. Organized” walk through the door, I’m positively gleaming with excitement. In just a few short minutes, I get to find out if my predictions about her are correct. Heather Welsh is from a quaint little town in England surrounded by fields and sheep. She drinks tea and eats Marmite on her crumpets and once got invited to party with Prince Harry. Her column is a documentation of her experiences working at a Vancouver youth hostel.

cOLUMNs Wild Green Plan

With Yette Gram

A new era for urban sustainability

he City of Vancouver is known for many things: as the site of the 2010 Olympics; as a city beautifully placed between the mountains and the ocean; as a city of crazed hockey fans; and as 'Hollywood North'. In 2009, Vancouver's mayor Gregor Robertson began working to have Vancouver be known for one more thing: he wanted Vancouver to become the “Greenest City in the World” by 2020. That may seem like a lofty goal, and it is, but it is also a goal that is worthy of being pursued. As we have seen this year with the late start to summer, the flooding in the prairies, and the droughts in Africa, climate change has already begun to affect our city, as well as the rest of the world. It doesn't stop at climate change, though. We are using up oil, wood, fresh water, and other crucial resources at unsustainable rates, and it is only a matter of time before we deplete them completely. Peak oil has already been hit, which means we have used up about half of the world’s supply of oil, and it will only get more difficult (and more expensive) to get. As for water, only 1% of the fresh water in the world (about 0.007% of the world's total water) is accessible for human use. Unfortunately, much of that water is being contaminated by agricultural practices and pesticide use, through domestic and industrial consumption. Deforestation is also running rampant, particularly in places such as the Amazon rainforest. With the loss of such resources, not only is the natural world as a habitat for all creatures lost, but we also lose the ability for our society to function in the way we have become accustomed.

Those of us living in the city stand to lose the most when our lifestyle catches up to us, as it is in cities that the natural cycle of life has most been compromised. Here, most of the soil has been paved over and very little grows in comparison with rural areas. Even less of the organic waste produced in cities makes it back to the soil, which contributes to our problem of not being able to feed ourselves. Vancouver Island, for example, grows enough food to feed itself for only three days without outside help. With the arrival of peak oil, it is important to question what will happen when we no longer have enough fuel to ship food. Thankfully, there is a growing movement both in Vancouver and in cities across the world toward environmentally friendly and sustainable lifestyles. Urban farming is spreading; alternative transportation and energy options are have been invented and are becoming more accessible; and waste and carbon footprint reduction have become a very real topic of conversation for all levels of society. Hundreds of blogs, websites, and email lists dedicated to sustainability and environmental issues have sprung up all over the internet, and books with topics ranging from gardening to how to build your own windmill have begun to fill the shelves of bookstores and libraries. There are so many environmentally-oriented organizations that there are now even organizations with the purpose to help the others network and work together. Because of the mostly grassroots nature of these resources and organizations, much of the same work is being done over and over again, in

slightly different ways. Though it is important for things to be taught in a variety of manners so that many different people can learn about them, it is also important to analyze the effectiveness of these attempts. Robertson's “Greenest City” plan is one way the many interested groups in Vancouver are coming together to make the change they are all fighting for. Working together, they hope to make Vancouver a leader in the global shift. The plan was put together with the help of community leaders and experts, as well as everyday Vancouverites, coordinated by city staff. They came up with ten areas to work on to help us reach our goal of “Greenest City”. They cover economy, climate, buildings, waste, transportation, lightening our carbon footprint, clean air and water, and local food. “Vancouverites want to live in a city that is vibrant, affordable, and sustainable,” explains Robertson. “We cherish the extraordinary beauty of our natural surroundings, celebrate our diversity, and are working to build a smart and green future.” The plan was passed before council in July, and is currently in the implementation phase. We have already seen some of the results of the Greenest City plan, such as the new bike lanes downtown, and several new farmers’ markets appearing around town. There has been both enthusiasm and resistance every step of the way. Other efforts toward making Vancouver green include a campaign to promote tap water and discourage the use of bottled water, which both drains on our water resources and causes waste and pollution due to discarded bottles and the

// Columnist

bottling process. Maps were made that show the various places in the city where tap water is available for public use, and where available, they give access to the fundamental human right of safe drinking water to our city's poorest: the homeless. Community gardens and urban farms set up in the Downtown East Side and across the city have similar goals of empowering marginalized and disadvantaged people to grow fresh, healthy produce for themselves. Over the course of this semester this column will monitor Vancouver's green initiatives and opportunities, from the results of the “Greenest City Action Plan”, to work by not-for-profits and individuals to help make Vancouver more sustainable. The Green Plan has a lofty goal, and this column will analyze and critique whether or not it is being implemented properly. Whether or not the city continues to be as supportive of environmental issues in the future, the people of Metro Vancouver are pushing for change on their own. There is no choice but to step up and steer the world in the direction it needs to go, starting with our own city. For more details about the Greenest City plan, as well as council reports, shorter term actions and other information visit www.talkgreenvancouver.ca. This is Yette's second year writing for the Courier. She has also written pieces for the Orillia Packet & Times, the Vancouver Sun, and Youthink Magazine. She is passionate about environmental issues and urban sustainability, and is excited to write about various related topics in this column.

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Opinions

Editor // Marco Ferreira // o pi ni o ns @ c api l ano c o uri e r. c o m

Univeristy is a glorified Shopping Mall I hope you brought your parents’ Visa By Sarah Vitet // Editor-in-Chief

ow are you paying for school? There are lots of options, though most people prefer the “mommy and daddy” discount. If you want to be responsible for yourself you might be taking out a student loan, or going parttime while working; or maybe you managed to save enough money yourself by working graveyard shifts for twelve years fixing refrigerators in the Yukon (or something equally well-paid). However you manage to attend, there is no question that university costs a lot of money. I’m here to tell you that it isn’t worth it. You are wasting your money on a product that shouldn’t even be considered a product in the first place. Capilano University is selling you an education, when you should be getting it for free. No, I’m not saying that the government should pay for it (though that’s certainly a good start). I’m saying that everyone should have the right to as much education as is in existence, not just people who can afford to/have the guts to take out a loan/can get high enough grades to get in. Access to knowledge should not be limited for any reason, no exceptions, the end. No marks, no deadlines, no fee deferrals or cashier lineups or living at your parent’s house until you are thirty. The only price for getting an education should be the obligation to pass on your knowledge to others. Your teachers got their positions by going to University and paying their (albeit lower) tuition fees. It stands to reason that they would feed their learning back into the system they got it from. However, it would be a much more efficient system if the only thing you owed at the end of your education was your promise to teach others what you were taught. Information is not a consumable good in the way of sneakers or chocolate bars: it is the power that our

civilization uses to move forward. Nobody should be excluded from learning, but that’s exactly what post-secondary institutions do. According to a study done by Tomkowicz and Bushnik with Statscan, people who live in Quebec are more likely than any other province to attend post-secondary right after high school. “The Quebec post-secondary educational system is different from the educational systems of other provinces,” the study reads. “First, CEGEP is very inexpensive and as such accessible to virtually all high school graduates. While in other provinces high school graduates need to rely on student loans, scholarships or grants, family support, or their own savings to pay post-secondary tuition, this is not the case in Quebec where students can enroll in CEGEP with a relatively small financial investment.” However, keeping education trapped in an institution not only excludes those who cannot afford to go financially: it also prevents many other people from getting their education. Not everybody learns the same way, but University tells you that if you are having problems, it’s you who has to change, not your instructor. In your huge and ever-growing classes, do you really think that all your peers learn the same way? They don’t, and lots of them (and probably even you) have trouble keeping up with the various different teaching methods of your various different professors. People with high school averages of less than 70% are three times as likely to delay going or never go to a post-secondary institution. Not receiving a scholarship, grant or bursary further increased the odds of people delaying or not going. 1 in 7 students drop out of University before they graduate. There is obviously a problem here, and it isn’t with individuals. It is with the system we are supposed to work within. It may not surprise you that people with lower grade point averages in high school are less

likely to enter post-secondary, though it’s not as simple as disregarding people as un-academic or unmotivated. It is important to keep in mind socio-economic class, race, gender, family structure, mental health, and other factors. Children with stable home environments, particularly children who come from middle-class families, tend to do better in school. Parents with more money have more time to be involved in their children’s education, from making sure their assignments are done and hiring tutors to advocating for their child with teachers. Children who are raised in more stressful home environments often have responsibilities in addition to their schoolwork, as well as potential difficulty in completing homework in their home without being distracted. Children with parents who do not speak the language they are being instructed in, children with parents who did not complete high school, children in the foster care system, children whose parents are disabled or mentally ill, children with learning disabilities, physical disabilities or their own mental illnesses: all these people, and many more, have disadvantages when trying to “stay in school”, especially at the post-secondary level. The benefits of getting an education, however, are expansive. Under 10% of all inmates in federal prisons have any college education whatsoever. According to Statistics Canada, the participation rate for the Aboriginal population in University was 7% as versus the non-aboriginal population at 41%. In 2008, 33.1% of all incarcerated women were Native, while Native men represented 19.1% of incarcerated men. It is obvious to me that the education system is failing, and failing hard. Education should not be kept as a product for institutions to regulate, sell, or withhold. In order to have a successful and innovative society, we need to have a broad information commons, where there is shared knowledge to build from. There is no excuse to limit someone’s access to information. University takes learning and

perverts it, turns it into an advertised pathway to careers that might not even exist. Having to pay for post-secondary education makes learning into a privilege, when it should be a right. The number one reason people drop out of post-secondary is because of depression. Students spend all their time in fluorescent-lit classrooms trying to learn their course material in a short amount of time, and they feel pressure to make it worth it because it’s so expensive and they have to work all the time to be able to afford it. It becomes impossible to take enjoyment from any other aspect of life because they are too busy, they lose motivation, their grades start slipping, and they drop out. However, the problem of the institution doesn’t only impact people who receive poor grades or drop out of school. How much of your last exam do you really remember? It’s been shown that the majority of students cram study to pass their exams. If you can’t even remember what you supposedly learned, are you really even “getting” the education you paid so much for?

// Katie So

The fast-food and the furious Fast-food employees deserve courtesy By Bridget Duquette

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 1

// The Fulcrum (University of Ottawa)

TTAWA (CUP) – I begin every day in tears. “Six-inch or foot-long?” I ask, my eyes red and watery, my face flushed. Nobody seems to care or even really notice. I suppose tears seem perfectly appropriate on the face of a fast-food employee. Why shouldn’t I be miserable? It’s fitting – much more so than my grungy, ill-made uniform. This outfit turns even the most attractive fast-food worker into a mound of shapeless flesh. God forbid any customer notice that there is a person buried under my uniform or think of me as a real human being with thoughts and feelings. So what if my tears are only caused by the bag of onions I have to chop each morning? My customers don’t know this. For all they know, I could have two weeks left to live. I could be on the run from the mob. Maybe my hamster just died. You know what goes through my mind when I

see a fellow human being in tears? “Is this person suicidal? Should I offer some kind words of support, or maybe leave a quarter in their tip jar?” I like to believe I have some kind of basic human compassion. Maybe my customers do too, but they do an amazing job of hiding it. As far as I can tell, the only thing that interests them in the least is their iPhones. “Hey, check out my new app! It enables me to completely block out the outside world, thereby making lowly fast-food workers feel like the scum of the earth. What fun!” Maybe I don’t deserve their sympathy. I know I’m not the most charismatic person. I scowl when someone asks me to change my gloves before making their food, and perhaps my eyes do roll back in my head when a customer demands more olives (“No, more than that. More. More. More. Even more!”). You see, we fast-food workers are apparently being paid $8.75* an hour to put on a perfor* Changed to reflect the B.C. minimum wage

mance. It is supposedly my job to act like I am not a real human being – that I don’t have emotions, that I don’t get offended when people loudly gab on the phone instead of asking me how my day is going, and that I don’t get angry when someone walks away without saying “thank you” after I serve them. “You’re welcome,” I’ll yell after them – a big mistake on my part. I should approach every shift the same way Meryl Streep readies herself for a role. Get into character. Pull my baggy uniform on over my head. Tighten my apron. Straighten my visor. Stand up straight. And finally – the pièce de resistance – force a smile onto my face. Voila: I’m ready for my close-up. I’m sorry, but no. I refuse. If I were getting paid twice as much as I am, I would be the perkiest sandwich artist on the planet. I’d tap dance for the customers, shine their shoes, and open-mouth kiss everyone who upped their order to a combo. No problem. But I am not getting paid $20 an hour, and I refuse to smile

for anybody unless they deserve it. I will prepare your food for you. I will give you your food in exchange for currency. And that’s about all you’re going to get. Yes, I am bitter. A lot of us fast-food workers are. Just try to remember that we’re not mad at you as a person; we’re mad at you as a customer. We’re mad when you ignore us when we say “hello,” yet still demand special treatment. We’re mad that we’re being paid minimum wage, that our boss is a psycho and that this is our 20th day of work in a row. The next time you come in to get your six-inch chicken teriyaki, try to pry your eyes away from your phone. I know it’s trendy, shiny and fabulous, but just try to make eye contact with the person behind the counter (that’s right – person) and note the tired look in their eyes. Try to be nice, or even just polite. Don’t yell. Don’t scream. Don’t bark at us. Just treat us like human beings. In exchange, you can expect a genuine smile, a little light conversation and maybe even extra olives. Deal?

opinions

Shit, Son

the cap creeper

... I did it again

io it d E s A M V V T M Special

Question: What do you think of society’s sensitivity to pooping? JUSTIN BIEBER “Sensiwhat? That's disgusting. I don't want to talk about that. I want to thank God. God made us the way you are, and he made us so that we don't have to poo. Satan's the one who installed the poo function in humans.”

KATY PERRY “Obviously I don't have a problem with it. Have you seen what's on top of my head?”

Cretehpe of week

BEYONCÉ “I’m pooing for two now!”

LADY GAGA “Pooing is an art form as guttural as singing, as integral as fashion, as intoxicating as religion. Let us celebrate our diversity: black, white or beige, we were born to do it. To poo it. Let us shit out a beautiful masterpiece daily and talk about it at dinner between talk of politics and Lady Gaga.”

ADELE “I’m not from North America, so I don’t really know your street slang, but if you’re talking about what I think you're talking about, I’d rather not go there.”

Taylor Lautner “I assume that it happens‚ but I’ve never seen it.”

JJ Brewis // Creep to the Stars

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 1

uncomfortable to get in touch with their bodily functions, complications can arise. // Art Director Because we see doing a number two as taboo even in its arlier this year I was on a business trip, staying in a regular format, it makes people with problems like Irritahotel room with three co-workers. Everyone, includ- ble Bowel Syndrome, Crohns disease, or similar afflictions ing myself, would go down to the lobby anytime we even more stigmatized. This can lead to self-consciousness needed to “go to the bathroom.” At first it was unspoken, but and shame, as well as the potential for not addressing on the last day one of us commented, “Isn’t it funny that we health concerns in a timely manner. Television personality all poo in the lobby because we don’t want to make each Dr. Mehmet Oz has said that we all should be passing gas at other feel uncomfortable? Isn’t it pretty much the same as least 14 times a day, just to keep our bodies healthy. “It's so all four of us just using the bathroom in our room when important that we start creating a ‘no embarrassment zone’,” we have to go?” Hearing this made us all laugh uncomfort- he says. “We need to pass this much gas!” ably, but then we realized it was kind of silly to travel down 14 flights to be secretive about something that everyone does every single day. Is it just an issue of being polite and not intruding on comfort zones? Because then it would seem that the entire structure of our society is a living contradiction. If bodily functions make us uncomfortable then it is equally bizarre to sit in a restaurant watching strangers shove their faces full of food, is it not? Similarly, it’s often awkward riding a bus home at night and watching a drunken couple make out. Both eating and sexuality are bodily functions, so why are we unable to just accept bathroom habits as something we all go through daily, and do not need to be ashamed of? I didn’t think I’d be sitting down today to write about people’s bathroom habits, as I am probably just as uncomfortable writing about shitting as you are reading or talking about it. But reading, much like going to the bathroom, is an everyday human function, so where does the shame come from? Talking about it doesn’t need to be low-brow, and in terms of a technically scientific and necessary function, it is about time we open the floor to discuss just why going to the washroom is so embarrassing. One of the most memorable 'bad tattoo ideas' that I have stumbled across online is a “biohazard” warning label marked right above a man’s buttocks. This tattoo is an extreme example of the student who // Stefan Tosheff farts loudly in class to a chorus of laughter. When it comes to excrement, the What I've come to realize is that mature people don't suppressive nature of our society creates people who give a shit about poop. They eat reasonably healthy diets, take satisfaction in exposing others to poop in one way they poop and fart, and they talk about it when necessary. or another. Immature people deal with the taboo around defecatAnd that’s just the thing. Much as you don’t like to pic- ing in one of two ways: by pretending they don't poop, ture certain people doing other behind-doors acts, every- or by yelling about it excitedly and presenting it in the body shits. Shame should be applied to things that actually palms of their hands to their favourite class mate. We don’t have a negative connotation for a reason, not something need to talk about our bowels all the time, but we need that healthy human beings are physically required to do at to be comfortable and open enough with each other that least once a day for our entire lives. By not being comfort- we don’t feel shame in our bodily functions. Because, able to address this issue, we open a gateway to social and come on, who wants to hold in their poop when they're physical problems. For those of us who feel too ashamed or on vacation? By JJ Brewis

o p i n i o ns

PROTECT YOUR HEAD Helmet laws should apply to everyone, or no one By Marco Ferreira // Opinions editor

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 1

re people who drive cars more expendable than people who ride bikes? Canadian law would have you think so. Helmets are legally mandatory when riding a bike, yet not when riding a car, so it's not a stretch to wonder whether our government values the safety of drivers less than the safety of cyclists. Others argue that mandatory helmets are an infringement of personal freedom, discriminating only against cyclists. If you can afford a car, apparently you are allowed the freedom to put your fragile head in as much danger as you want. The local media has recently been examining this issue closely, as a Vancouver resident is currently challenging the helmet law as unconstitutional in provincial court. Supporters of legally-mandated helmet use argue that the cost of non-helmet-wearing cyclists head injuries on the health care system is reason enough to keep the law in place. If you examine the situation closely, however, it becomes apparent that the arguments for helmeting our cyclists are more relevant when applied to our drivers and pedestrians In an ideal world, only professional drivers would be allowed to drive cars on the road and all personal vehicles would be removed. We are getting fatter, sicker, and more dead as a direct result of our congested motorways. Statscan figures released August 24 show that 82% of Canadians travelled to work by car last year. Unless we are going to drastically reduce that number, vehicle drivers, cyclists and pedestrians should be protected in order to elevate the stress caused by motorists on the health-care system. The cost of the personal automobile on our struggling health care system is well documented. According to a UBC study in 2004, each hour spent in a car is associated with a 6 % increase in the likelihood of obesity. The Journal of Physical Activity and Health reads: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Countries with the highest levels of active transportation generally had the lowest obesity rates.â&#x20AC;? To put it simply, the more you drive in place of walking or cycling, the less exercise you get. In conjunction with the availability of cheap, high-energy food products, the Canadian Institute for Health Information estimates the obesity epidemic is costing our health care system $4.3 billion a year. A more direct cost of motor-vehicles on health care are the air pollutants expelled into the environment. According to Health Canada, exposure to this smog can result in health issues ranging from heart attack and coronary artery disease to respiratory and cardiac conditions that are often fatal. In particular, this smog is very harmful to children and the elderly. A report by the Canadian Medical Association in 2008 estimated that smog cost another $1.3 billion annually in health care and lost productivity. According to BC Collision Statistics, 25,481 people were injured in motor vehicle accidents in B.C in 2007 alone. Drivers make up 58% of those injured, passengers make up 26.2%, pedestrians make up 7.5% and cyclists make up 3.5% just under motorcycles at 3.8%. The number of people killed in car accidents was 417 and the percentile breakdown is similar. Insurance will pay for some of the costs when you get into an car accident, but the health care system still foots the bill for almost everything shy of your meals and hygiene. With all costs combined, motor vehicles are an astronomical burden on tax payers. Why,

// Kailey Patton then, do we not focus on protecting our drivers as much as possible? Better safety measures could save countless lives and tax dollars. A large portion of people injured in motor vehicle accidents are pedestrians. Unless we can drastically reduce the amount of drivers in our urban centres, not only should cyclists be helmeted, but car drivers themselves as well as all pedestrians while walking near roads. However, there is no push for any legislation of this sort. Though it would be financially beneficial to implement new legislation to protect people from cars, it is obviously never going to happen. Telling cyclists to wear helmets is putting the onus on the wrong party, which is the entire system of cars aggressively dominating our roadways. When it comes to cyclists, why is it no longer a personal choice for the rider to wear a helmet? After all, we are allowed to smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, and eat as poorly as we want, all while risking our lives crossing the street without a helmet in the name of liberty.

It's as if we are punishing cyclists for using the same roads that are built primarily for motor vehicles. the West Ender recently ran a story about a young man who died while riding recklessly, with the moral being that a helmet could have saved his life. The issue, however, is not that helmets aren't a good or important safety tool. For every cycling tragedy that occurs, there are hundreds of stories of young drivers or pedestrians who have been killed or seriously injured in car accidents. In many of these circumstances more protection, such as full face helmets, would have saved them from injury or death. Simply throwing a helmet on and riding your bike in the traffic is not enough to keep you safe. It's the responsibility of our cities to implement infrastructure and resources that makes cycling safer, not rely on a hard Styrofoam hat to keep people alive on the roads. Bike lanes are a great example of a real solution to safety concerns, as well as traffic-calmed bike routes and increase in public education. Similarly, as we attempt to

make driving safer we shouldn't encourage drivers to forget about seat belts. It's not the helmet law that is bad, it's the punitive sentiment toward cyclists, and the hypocrisy when drivers and pedestrians are not equally obliged.

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Editor // KEvin Murray // c abo o s e . c apc o uri e r@ gmai l . c o m

With JJ Brewis

Sweetheart’s Parade

By Kevin Murray // Humour and Fiction Editor

To him who is in fear, everything rustles He shakes Sophocles out of his mind and steps forward again. Deeper into the crowd, the heat increases and the space becomes tighter. A pungent wave washes over him and the sickly

over him in a sonic wave and his eyes well up in shame at his pathetic little life; a shame so deep it leaves him breathless. Breathless. His eyes flash open and he stares up again. The tentacled orb stretches itself across the roof of the dome and a spark is implanted into his mind. Breathless ... He remembers. Breathe. Just like they taught you. He inhales ... ... The coarse boundary of skin and ice. Flashing lights. The glow of an exploding moon. Pavement, grating against his bare chest. Frozen fingers around his wrists. Handcuffs. Then, standing on the balustrade by the stairs of his building, Erica, and two shadowy men dressed in blue. Yeah, I was with him all night. I’m sorry officer, I don’t really understand what happened. Inside his head, soft, chattering laughter.

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The Hot Chart MORGAN FREEMAN Probably somewhere right now narrating your life story TRANSLINK Dude, we're all in the same boat SLASHER SPOTTED IN NEW WEST Because convincing friends to come over wasn’t hard enough already TEEN ANARCHISTS Fuck the system, man. Except for iPhones and allowance THAT BEST COAST VIDEO THAT’S KIND OF A RIP OFF OF THE OUTSIDERS Drew Barrymore directed it TWIST CONES Into it TAGGER The way my mom pronounces “tiger.” Mom is a language now? NO PUBLIC WASHROOMS Reverse psychology, at best THE LION KING 3D Going! SKINNY JONAH HILL Turns out that the “I can lose weight, but you’re still ugly” thing is an old wives tale, huh

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the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 1

e is in a bathroom stall, puking his guts into a filthy toilet, screaming as it all comes out. Techno pounds his head, rattling the fibreglass walls from the outside. Blind in the spectral bandwidth of blacklight, his form forensic, hurling filth into filth, gasping for air, he scrabbles in the muck of the chessboard tiles. When he finishes, he gasps again, spits, and stands up. He tastes iron. Spits. Wipes his hands on his jeans then turns and pushes open the stall door. Graffiti of Old Man Gloom, replete with top hat and jagged teeth, greets him from the wall to his left but he turns before he can read the cryptic adage in the cartoon’s thought bubble. The lights flicker in negative fluorescence, and everything glows or disappears into nothing. Two dark shapes huddle near the sinks, hunched over the taps. The deadbolt of the stall door slides into its casing, shick. “Not gonna need that one, is he?” rasps the form to his left. It turns the tap, and a pinch constricts inside his chest. “It will be better this way,” says the one on the right. Something inside him releases and he lurches forward, suddenly off balance. The blacklight is flickering from the fluorescent tubes in the ceiling, picking up particles of light and darkness everywhere, revealing blobs of glowing organic matter on the walls. “We'll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere,” replies the other, “and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys.” They chatter with laughter and a new memory dislodges. It engorges with life and hovers, as if suspended by strings. He reaches instinctively into his pants for a cigarette and stops, ashamed, suddenly aware of a sandpaper sensation in his lungs. The two hooded forms turn to face him, their profiles invisible in the black cowls except for their mirrorball eyes. Moving in unison, they ritualistically turn the taps on the single sink in the bathroom and a pink gel pours out in a phosphorescent stream. It’s strangely beautiful. They hum as the liquid fills the basin and a thin treble tone punctures the soundscape, cutting through the relentless kick drum in the somewhere off in the distance like a church bell tolling in traffic. As the ectoplasm begins to pour over the sides of the sink, he shudders and walks out the bathroom doors. He steps into a wet courtyard, a grotto of red tissue and slippery, circular walls. The music is softer here but the kick drum is relentless, a wicked pulse through his crumbling sanity. The room is bathed in a warm, crimson glow, casting light on the myriad of bodies that are scattered everywhere across the room. All around him are writhing forms; dancing, naked, faceless, undulating to hypnotic rhythms of unknown origin. He walks forward into the wet press of sweating flesh. A sinuous torso languidly emerges from the matrix of limbs and a tattoo suddenly takes his attention from the orgy of forms:

sweetness of fermenting fruit, salt, and bodily fluids overload his senses. The crimson glow takes shape and the dancing forms collapse into each other. He pushes forward, feeling breasts, cocks, arms, anuses, legs, faces, tongues; a matrix of flesh forms in front of him like a mandala. He steps inside. A low moan begins, arising from the red flesh of the floor. It penetrates him, permeates him, forces him to cry out in pleasure. Everywhere is sweating, fucking, coming, bleeding, licking, oozing, moaning, an endless onslaught of orifices and offerings at every turn. Struggling forward, the forms degrade down one more level, to pieces ... valves, stems, sinews, tissues, cells; all vibrate with that depraved and wanton moan. His cock grows impossibly hard and strains against his pants, a counterpoint to his stoic pace through this forest of flesh. His clothes finally rip off in tatters, and wet skin slides across him in streaks. He moans now too, singing the song with every disembodied mouth that surrounds him, mingles with them, until their harmony overcomes the kickdrum in the distance. He slows down, collapses beneath the weight of all that tissue. His moan turns to a scream and with an impossible push he takes one more step through the briar patch of bodies. Suddenly, he is free. Without a glance back, he walks forward across the soft tissue terrain until he reaches a long staircase with balustrades like the soft curves of a conch shell folding outwards. He ascends. At the top is a great indigo door with two brass knockers shaped like cicadas with furled wings. Lifting the one on the right by its carapace, he knocks once, twice, three times ... He emerges into a great geodesic chamber bathed in an eerie white light that spreads from all fixed points at once, emanating and reflecting across every crosshatch node. Stepping forward onto the Taba Tabriz rug that lays in the center of the room, coruscating shafts of audible colour collapse into the geometrical unity of the pattern, emerging as electrical lines; veins conducting current into the domed superstructure, converting light into sound. It’s the crossroads ... Am I dying? Something taps his arm and he spins around on the rug, causing a cascade of splintered sunlight to spread out across the dome in a pulse, accompanied by the sound of harp strings oscillating into a sine wave. Turning, he looks up and sees the long, sinuous tentacles writhing in the air, and a wave of awe settles over him. The tentacles pose, poising into cryptic gestures, while the body of the creature sits recessed in stillness, hovering near the concave roof. He falls to his knees. The great creature coils its many arms across the nodes of the dome, touching one, plucking another, stroking here, pulling there, and with each gesture a wave of light ripples along the veins until it reaches the rug, where it becomes an ocean of sound. An orchestra of subtle tones and harmonies form, some so low they feel intestinal, others so ethereal that they brush the tips of fine hair across his eyelids. His spine straightens in supplication and his hands come together unbidden. His eyes crease and screw up in a wonder so deep it wracks the core of his being. Somewhere beyond thought, beyond feeling, beyond hope, a halcyon sphere sits at the center of it all, the axis mundi of his awareness. Beyond that ... there is nothing. A feeling of profound compassion washes

Caboose

Top 4 Things You Need for University

• By Kevin Murray

A Computer

Adult Diapers

Illicit Drugs

Your High School Cool

The Personal Computer (PC) is set to revolutionize the modern world this school year. Next year it is set to revolutionize Surrey. It will replace the trusted and well-loved pen and paper (PP) as the main tool of students everywhere. Made from space-age polymers like plastic, al-u-min-i-um, more plastic, and that ShamWow (OMG) stuff, this handy item will make your Cap experience feel like an easy A (SS). In fact, many students report that using a PC in class makes it feel like they aren’t even really at school at all. Students that look over the shoulders of students with PCs agree. It’s like they aren’t even taking notes. It’s almost like they’re enjoying social time (FB) and chatting with friends (TTYL). Many students also report that masturbation has never been so exciting since the PC computer made many naked people and animals available for study. All this is possible due to something called the inter-web, a network of pornography joined by long strings of condoms and pure awesome (LED). So get a PC computer. Satisfaction is guaranteed. Even if your grades suffer a bit, all those extra orgasms will be worth it.

Face it. You’re an adult, at least as far as diaper sizes are concerned. So now you can safely wear the big baggies instead of the Wonderwoman pull-ups you used to rock when you were just a little pooper. While cinched down deep into these bad boys, you can safely sit through hours and hours of boring prof-talk while surfing the inter-web for squirting porn and pics of that box-diving cat Maru. You can also masturbate to said images without bothering your fellow class mates very much. If they see your hands moving, just pretend you are taking notes very, very quickly. Adult diapers should not be worn with just any outfit, however. They need to be packed into the official ‘mum-bum’ class of pants. Think high waists and padded midriffs. Any trouser from American Apparel should do it. These pants were made for some sloppy slouching. So next time you look around your classes and see people rocking jeans halfway up their backs, give them a little tummy tussle. That’s how we diaper enthusiasts recognize each other. It’s like a secret handshake. Welcome to the club.

Now that you are in university you might as well know the truth. Everybody does drugs. Everything you have been told about drugs has been an elaborate lie designed to keep you from achieving your chemical best because people are competitive assholes and just want to keep you down when you’re young and impressionable. Academics are especially stoned. For instance, the Philosophy department is constantly high on cocaine so they can keep their logic sharp and pointy. The Biology department is notorious for their use of horse and cat tranquilizers like PCP and ketamine as it helps them stay interested while they stare at stupid colonies of protozoa as they brip and brap around the ol’ petri dish. The Business department seems to favour the rapid huffing of airplane glue. Apparently it helps them overlook the fact that children in sweatshops generally build their entrepreneurial empires. The English department does LSD. Tons of it. How else do you think they come up with that bullshit about books? Hallucinations, that’s how. So, budding super scholars, feel free to ramp up your brain-bunnies breeding potential with performance-enhancing drugs. Microeconomics will never make sense otherwise, and neither will Beowulf (shudder).

It’s over. Dead, buried, and decomposing. The reality is that any kind of status you had in your hallowed high school is based on a set of absent variables. New factors are now in play that will spin the situation in novel ways. For instance, your Snooki-speak will no longer get you the desired “oh my gawwwwd Heather, you’re so funny!” Instead, it will only get you ironic eyebrows and condescending hipster sneers. Try to emulate someone smart for a change, like Richard Dawkins. Wander around the school professing the non-existence of God while rocking a tweed suit that looks like your Grandma’s rumpus room couch just threw up. Then, at every opportunity, talk about how indie rock in Vancouver is secretly an esoteric science which could save the environment, that is, if you fucking-cared-at-all! Finally, if you really want to get in with the cool kids at Cap, just walk around spitting on anyone who wears a visible name brand and when anyone says anything to you, just say “solidarity.” Trust me. It works. Solidarity, bitches. Have a good year.

* d r o w s s o r C y e l s a e W y k c a W the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 1

By Samantha Thompson, Obviously

* Bring the Completed crossword to Maple 122 on Friday, Sept. 16 and win a prize!