Capilano Courier Vol 45. Issue 5

“Pushing buttons since 1968”

Volume 45

N O R T H V A N C O U V E R / / O cto b er 1 0 , 2 0 1 1

Issue N o. 05

with Suffragette City // Apathy // New Languages // and so much more ...

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TABle of contents Vol. Fourty-Five | Issue 05

Pushing buttons since 1968

N e ws

Con ta c t u s

Phone

Praise? Damnation? Let us know what you think:

Capilano students love photography, right to vote

604.984.4949

Ca l e n d a r

Fax

604.984.1787

4 6

Come to our sick party next Friday! Who will I make out with this year! LOL

Online

www.capilanocourier.com

Fe a t u r e s

7

The government wants to watch your blogging and porn-downloading habits? Ha ha ha!

Email

editor@capilanocourier.com

Arts

11

Featuring a couple of cool dudes and Will Shatner

Contr i b u t i n g Are you a writer/illustrator/photographer? We'll pay you! Come to our story meetings:

on

TUESDAYS at NOON in MAPLE 122 Caveat lector

The Capilano Courier is an autonomous, democratically run student newspaper. Literary and visual submissions are welcomed. All submissions are subject to editing for brevity, taste, and legality.

The Capilano Courier will not publish material deemed by the collective to exhibit sexism, racism, or homophobia. The views expressed by the contributing writers are not necessarily those of the Capilano Publishing Society.

Co l u m n s Celebrity marriages doomed, especially if you marry a prince

Opinions

Sta f f

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editor-in-chief

editor-in-chief

Samantha Thompson

Sarah Vitet

a rt d i r e c t o r

f e at u r e s e d i t o r

news editor

Shannon Elliott

JJ Brewis

AdĂŠlie Houle-Lachance

Gurpreet Kambo

a rt s e d i t o r

opinions editor

Claire Vulliamy

Marco Ferreira

s ta f f w r i t e r

ad

+

events mngr.

Jonty Davies

19

Sexy science fiction! Meee-ow!

production mngr.

Evelyn Cranston

17

Babies! All the rage this season

Caboose The Capilano Courier is brought to you by the following people ...

14

humor

+

fiction editor

Kevin Murray

copy editor

Celina Kurz

business manager

web editor

Ricky Bao

Natahsha Prakash

11-10-07 7:37 PM

O

the cove

r

n

Chris Dedinsky Dedinsky dreams to one day ride the phosphorescent worm deep into the ocean-swell sand, spinning silken socks and pillow-soft castle corridors. He can shuffle safely about for an eternity, comfortable below bustling city lights.

Retraction Last week's news photo for the Muslims in Canada artice should be credited to Haley Whishaw, not Karen Picketts. Haley Whish we saw that sooner! Sorry LOL.

{ WORLD* } This

WEEK in the

What’s got us all riled up in the office this week?

from the editor //

SHOWING OUR TRUE COLOURS

L

ast week, we printed candidate profiles for the CSU's Fall election. We do this for every CSU election, and due to the nature of student politics, the article tends to be fairly dry and one-sided regardless of who writes it, as the article is primarily composed of the candidates' explanation of their own platforms. This term we decided to add something new – Courier Picks. However, this isn't an idea we came up with on our own. No less than 36 newspapers published endorsements during the recent Canadian federal election, including the Georgia Straight, the National Post, Maclean's, the Globe and Mail, and even the Economist.

Still, we did not make the decision lightly. Our staff had many discussions regarding the candidate endorsements, from whether we should include them at all, to whether we should include candidate endorsements in categories we felt only had poor choices. In the end, we decided to include the Courier Picks only for candidates we felt deserved an endorsement. Our choices did not alter the fairness of the profiles, as those were based entirely on interviews with the candidates themselves. This was explained in the introduction to the article, but in lieu of the concerns that have come up, it seemed important to explain further.

Journalistic integrity is something that has significant importance at the Courier, and we take what we publish seriously. That said, remaining neutral is an impossible task. We take pride in the fairness and accuracy of our articles (though we do make mistakes, and love to be constructively corrected), and we like to think our news coverage is balanced in nature. However, balanced does not mean unbiased.

At the Courier, we understand that truly unbiased journalism is impossible in this form. We show our bias in many ways - editors impose their view of what is worth covering and what is not, writers decide from whom to get quotes and what sides of the story they will cover. What we do not cover is even more revealing than what we do.

As a student-run publication, however, these biases are constantly changing and evolving, and there is no single leaning that embodies the whole newspaper.

The purpose of a news article is not to give the same amount of space to both sides of the story, it is to find and report the <i>true<i> story. When the research points to a clear conclusion, then the article should reveal this. It is more biased to obscure the true story in order to preserve “journalistic neutrality” than it is to tell the complete, true, unbalanced story. True life is unbalanced, and journalism reflects this, whether the publication admits it or not.

In light of these circumstances, the “neutral” theme of the Courier's fall party, Pushing Buttons, is increasingly topical. This is poking fun at both journalistic neutrality as well as the all the sand, tan, camel, and beige clothes that are so trendy right now, under the umbrella term of “neutrals” (we try to stay current). I mention the event both for shameless promotional reasons (it's only five dollars!!!) and also because comments have already been made denouncing the Courier for choosing the neutral theme, and I would just like to publish my hearty, bellowing laughter.

We are not unbiased, and we aren't pretending to be. We are, however, a fair and accountable publication that does our best to foster students into strong and aware writers, and provide many forms of comprehensive and diverse news coverage.

“After all, the ultimate goal of all research is not objectivity, but truth.”

—Helene Deutsch — Sarah Vitet // editor-in-chief

The Voicebox

with JJ Brewis Look for the Voicebox on Tuesday afternoons in the Birch cafeteria, to anonymously “voice” your “opinion” on any “topic.” Introverted alternatives include emailing your opinion to voicebox@capilanocourier.com, or texting (778) 886-5070.

OUR PARTY! GO TO IT. DEETS ON LEFT. RIGHT THERE. IT WILL BE SUPER FUN

“Hey JJ, how are you these days? I have a request for you. Could you please delete any copies of that photo I sent you if you still have any?”

Huh? Who is this? What picture?

“Gmail doesn’t randomly delete emails, so you have it, unless you deleted it specifically. I’m asking you to please check if you deleted that specific one or not.”

70 0 5 .

6 8 8 .

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Text

I delete most emails. Even if I have it, don’t worry. I won’t send it to Perez Hilton? Geez. Where did all this come from anyway?

“It’s Steven.”

“I found the sent message in my email and was thinking, ‘I better not lose track of this!’ Also, I figured it would be good to check on it now that you’ve clearly moved on and you’re back dating new people.”

Oh. Hey, what’s going on?

Huh? What does me dating people have to do with anything?

“Not much, just finishing school. I’m going to Foster the People on Monday!”

“Well if you’re on-line and checking people out and what not, then you’re looking for someone now, so it would be weird to have a pic like that of an ex-boyfriend.”

AND WE WANT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU! THAT IS ALL.

Oh. Cool. Sold out show! Hot commodity.

Keepin tabs on ol' Brewis, hey? PS You were never my boyfriend?

“Yeah, they’re so 5 months ago though, so I dunno why. Anyway, will you be deleting/have you deleted that photo?”

Yeah, I wanted to ask about that. What photo, exactly? I didn’t have you saved in my phone so I thought it was about a copyright file for the Courier.

“I dunno. Sort of. I’m still so confused by you. You’re mysterious.”

No, I’m really straight up.

“I didn’t feel that way. You told me you really liked me and then right after, you deleted me from your phone. That’s not straight up.”

“I sent you that kinda dirty photo like a month ago when you said to send a pic. Sent it to your email.”

Oops, sorry.

Oh, shit, I forgot about that. I doubt I still have it to be honest. You paranoid, gurl!

Please text the VOICEBOX so we don’t have to print personal trash next week. Or, don’t. Your call, Capilano student body.

* List IS comprehensive

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news

EDIT OR // Gurpreet Kambo // ne w s @ c api l ano c o uri e r. c o m

Sechelt and Squamish Get The Vote CSU Does Suffragette, Civil Rights Movements proud

// Natahsha Prakash

By Evelyn Cranston // Staff writer

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 5

F

or some Capilano University students, CSU elections are an exciting time: posters are up, forums are held, and ballots are marked. Students at the Sechelt and Squamish campuses, however, have previously been excluded from participating in elections. In the past, certain opportunities were not available for students at satellite campuses because previous CSU boards had interpreted the bylaws to mean that they are not voting members.

The bylaw in question states that the members of the Union include “all paying and non-paying Capilano University students.” Students enrolled in Sechelt and Squamish do not pay fees to the Students Union, and it was previously thought that this meant that they were non-voting. However, David Clarkson, Electoral Committee Chair, says that they were always included on the voting list that is received from the University.

Section 7 of the Society Act states, “A voting member of a society has only one vote, and, despite any contrary provision in the bylaws, may exercise that vote on every matter without restrictions.” However, it is not made explicitly clear in the bylaws or the Society Act whether non-paying members were also considered non-voting members as well. In Clarkson’s understanding, students at satellite campuses were always technically allowed to vote, but it was in-

convenient for them to do so because polling was only held at the North Vancouver campus.

Clarkson says, “Nowhere else does the policy or bylaws pertaining to memberships or the elections does it say, ‘North Vancouver students are voting members,’ or ‘Squamish students are nonvoting members.’ Our bylaws are totally silent in that way.” In Clarkson’s understanding, paying a membership fee is not the determining factor of whether a student is eligible to vote.

This year, then, the most significant change is the on-campus voting opportunity for the two campuses. For most Sechelt and Squamish students, making the trip to North Vancouver to vote was seldom done.

Last year, the CSU was working with a budget of $500 to run the elections. This time around, they have $2500 to spend. Clarkson is enthusiastic about this budget bump, as it gave the CSU “the resources to do some things that we weren’t previously able to do,” such as increase polling hours in North Vancouver from 21 hours in 2010 to 44.5 in 2011, and offer four polling hours in each of the satellite campuses.

Nolan Remedios, candidate for Educational Issues Coordinator, explains that the interpretation to include the two campuses has been done largely, “in good faith, as a means to include the other campuses. The purpose of doing it is to reduce the amount of disenfranchisement that the campuses feel.”

In his opinion the decision to extend voting

“demonstrates an understanding on the part of the CSU that decisions that are made and policies that are created in the Maple building of the North Vancouver campus actually do, in some cases, have an effect on students in Sechelt and Squamish.” In his view, they’re not paying the fees, but they’re still being impacted by CSU decisions that are made without their contribution.

As well, Sechelt and Squamish students are technically allowed to be candidates. However, it wouldn’t be easy for those students. He explains, “It’s quite clear that [students on satellite campuses] would be eligible to run … [but] the rules around campaigning for our elections only allow candidates to put posters up on the CSU bulletin boards, and there actually aren’t any CSU bulletin boards on those campuses. It would restrict the kind of campaigning that the candidate could pursue on either campus.”

With this expanded voter base, a candidate running in the upcoming elections could potentially gain an advantage by travelling to the smaller campuses. The electoral committee has no stance on this practice, should a candidate choose to make the trip. However, it may be difficult for students taking courses only at the North Vancouver campus to make the time to ferry out to Sechelt.

Remedios states, “A lot of people and candidates in general felt that it wasn’t worth allocating resources and time and effort to campaigning out there when you also have to campaign here

simultaneously.” Additionally, he’s seen candidates mention service of Sechelt and Squamish campuses, but sees a lack of candidate understanding of the real issues that students in regional campuses deal with.

Equality between students is the main motivator in this issue. The CSU has also made candidate information pages as well as all of their posters available online. Remedios emphasizes the importance of these, as it’s essentially the only way regional campus students will learn about their options.

Clarkson explains, “In that sense, by providing everybody the same opportunity, we’ve tried to minimize any advantage someone might have by taking the ferry over to Sechelt one day.” He sees this new inclusivity as a positive move, and describes it as “just us including students as they ought to be under the bylaw.”

Sechelt and Squamish cannot be ignored.

There are already over 1,000 students attending the two campuses combined, and the University is looking to expand both the campuses. To further accommodate voting members, the CSU has considered online voting. This would come at a price though, as online voting would cost approximately an additional $3,000 per election to administer according to Clarkson. However, if inclusivity of all students in political decisions is the end goal, extended polling hours, outreach to regional campuses, and the concept of online voting may be steps in the right direction.

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N e ws

LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH Every time I do it makes me laugh

By Claire McGillavry // writer

“I

like looking hard at a scene and trying to capture the beauty in something that 99 out of a hundred will just walk by,” says student Ryan Harrington, on why he’s passionate about photography. He has just gotten involved with the Capilano Photography Club, a club whose mission is to “encourage members to engage the world around them, through the art of photography.”

Natahsha Prakash, a Capilano student and selfemployed professional photographer, started the club in Fall 2010. It has quickly become one of the most active clubs on campus this school year. For Prakash, photography is a method of interpreting – and changing – the world around her. “Challenge what you see. Maybe it’s not what

you look at,” she says. “Maybe it’s not what you actually think it is.”

Prakash particularly emphasizes the group’s openness to people of various skill levels. “It’s a photography community, so we don’t discriminate. If you want to use Instagram on your iPhone, if you like to look at pictures on Tumblr, you’re welcome to come ... as long as you like to take photos, or you enjoy photography.” She adds, “I don’t want it to be an exclusive, elite group. This is a community I want to build on campus. Everyone, I find now, uses photography as a medium to express themselves. The whole point is sharing what we have.”

Harrington reiterates this notion of the importance of community, and particularly of having others to share his passion with. “If you’re doing photography commercially, you’re getting paid

for it, then great. But if you’re doing it just for a hobby, an interest ... then it just becomes photos on a hard-drive.” The club members unanimously agreed that having a community of photographers gives each individual the stability and the motivation to stay inspired and active in their passion.

At any given club meeting, new members can expect passionate discussion on the many aspects of photography. One of the topics that gets club members fired up is the type of photography that each of them find most stimulating. Prakash says, in regards to why she prefers portrait photography over other kinds, “I feel like when I take a portrait of someone ... I get to know them on a new level. When people ask you to take a photo of them, they invite you into their world ... that’s such a unique and wonderful experience.”

Looking forward, the club has quite a few

plans to hold events. The first one will be a photo scavenger hunt in the CSU lounge on Nov. 4, in which participants will be given a list of things to take photos of, within a time limit. The top prize for this event will be a brand new camera. They also have plans to hold a gallery exhibition at Capilano in the spring of 2012, which will showcase the club members’ photography .

Prakash’s passion for photography is plainly evident when she explains why you should get involved. “[In photography you see] the beauty in everything [and the] truth in everything too … a picture tells a thousand words.”

For further details on club events and meeting times, head directly to the club’s Facebook page, the ‘Capilano Photography Club,’ or drop in at one of the meetings which are held every Tuesday at 10:30 am in the CSU Lounge.

// Natahsha Prakash

Camosun College gives lending course materials a try

By Rose Jang // The Nexus (Camosun College)

V

ICTORIA (CUP) – Camosun College is now giving students one more option to get their course materials with an innovative textbook-rental system.

Camosun’s bookstore is one of the first in Canada to partner with wholesaler Follett Corporation to allow students to rent expensive textbooks instead of purchasing them.

Follett started a textbook-rental program in the U.S. last year, and has now expanded the program to Canada. Partnering with Follett allows the bookstore to “test out rentals for our student body without assuming a lot of financial risk like

buying a lot of inventory,” said Camosun bookstore manager Laura-Lea Berna.

The program, which saves students 50 - 60 per cent of the price of new textbooks, is off to a slow start. Although only approximately 100 textbooks had been rented as of press time, Berna expects those numbers to grow in the winter term.

The rental process is simple. Students search for their textbook online. If they find the book, they pay online and the book ships directly to them.

Once the student’s rental period is up, they bring the book to the Camosun bookstore and it will be shipped back to Follett. Students can also extend their rental period at any time, or buy the book outright.

The program has a lot of room for expansion.

Follett currently stocks just under 70 per cent of Camosun’s book list, and this is expected to increase as the program grows. Books ship from the US, but Follett will soon be creating distribution centers in Canada.

“The price of textbooks continues to rise. We find that it’s very difficult to get used textbooks in every instance. We needed another option,” Berna explained.

Camosun College Student Society director of operations Michel Turcotte is glad that students now have another option to get their course materials, but thinks that if a student needs a textbook for multiple semesters, it would make more sense to buy.

In the end, he indicated his top concern is about students saving money, and the ever-changing textbook editions that make it harder for students to find used books that are suitable.

“We’ve always urged the college and faculty not to be changing editions constantly,” said Turcotte. “Editions should only change when there is new material that warrants that.”

Meanwhile, Berna explained she had even more plans for the bookstore, including an affiliate program with digital book supplier CourseSmart.

“Everyone will start seeing more digital textbooks in the winter," she said.

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 5

Textbooks: a renter's market?

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t h e ca p ca l e n dar C e l i na W i th

Kur z !

COPY@CAPILANOCOURIER.COM

Contact us to have your event featured in the calendar.

D on’t forget the date, time, address, and price!

m o n d ay o c t. 1 0 ENGLISH CONVERSATION CORNER Need some help finding people to practice your English language skills? Look no further! Come down to this group and practice with other new speakers.

7:30 – 8:30 PM. Lynn Valley Library Program Room (1277 Lynn Valley Rd.). Free!

GIANTS VS. ROYALS You can go to this if you want!

1 PM. Pacific Coliseum (100 N. Renfrew St.). $21/$18.

THANKSGIVING MONDAY Today is the day to give thanks for no school and turkey gravy and mashed potatoes and Brussels sprouts covered in gravy and turkey covered in gravy. I love gravy ERGO I love Thanksgiving.

QED. All day long. Free, ‘cause your mom is making dinner.

TODAY'S BROADWAY @ WEST VANCOUVER PUBLIC LIBRARY “In this continuing series with Neil Ritchie, explore the music of some of the most successful Broadway songwriters: Kander & Ebb, Stephen Sondheim, and Andrew Lloyd Webber.” Musical theatre students, if you don't have class Tuesday morning, hit this up! I wish I could :( 10:30 AM - 12:30 PM. West Vancouver Public Library's Welsh Hall (1950 Marine Dr.). Free!

THE NAKED AND FAMOUS WITH GUESTS CHAIN GANG OF 1974 From JJ: Despite a terrible band name, apparently these guys are pretty decent live. They’re from New Zealand, and we all know that the best shit comes from the other side of the water.

Aside from, like, Arcade Fire and Justin Bieber.

But, no, really. The singer for this band has nice hair, so I’m going. 8 PM. The Commodore Ballroom. SOLD OUT OOPS SORRY.

ALTERNATE THANKSGIVING MONDAY Today is the day to give thanks for no school and nutloafs and miso gravy and I guess the same types of vegetables that you'd eat on regular Thanksgiving. Also, pumpkin pie! Maybe...you can top it with...soygurt.

All day long. You might have to pay for your own dinner because your mom is making regular Thanksgiving dinner.

t u e s day o c t. 1 1 B3 BEATDOWN WITH GUEST IHOR KUKURDUZA Free jazz! (As in, jazz that costs no money, not “free” jazz.) This group features Cory Weeds (tenor sax), Chris Gestrin (b3 organ), Jesse Cahill (drums), and Capilano University jazz professor Ihor Kukurudza (guitar).

7 PM. The Jazz Cellar (3611 W. Broadway St.) Free!

we d n e s day o c t. 1 2 JARED BURROWS QUARTET WITH JAZZ Q&A Featuring Lorne Kellett (piano), Al Johnston (bass), Stan Taylor (drums), and Jared Burrows (guitar), this night will feature “original compositions in the tradition of Kenny Wheeler and Wayne Shorter,” followed by a Q&A session for the jazz-curious. Jared Burrows is a doctor, and teaches at Capilano University!

8 PM. Presentation House (333 E. 3rd St.). $10.

LADYVEST WEDNESDAY Ladies, reclaim the vest from the patriarchy!

Wear a ladyvest in solidarity with your fellow ladies! Pro tip: wearing a vest makes you feel like a Wizard.

Whenever u want. Cost of ladyvest.

THE DRUMS From JJ: I’ve seen these guys before, and let me tell you, singer Jonathan Pierce is responsible for me bleaching my hair for the greater part of a year. And I don’t just copy any old trend, aside from those dumb hipster war scarves which I’m ashamed to say I sported for one season in late 2006. Shameful. But I make up for it by going to REALLY COOL concerts like this one.

8 PM. Venue (881 Granville St.). $15 ST. VINCENT St. Vincent is the pseudonym for beautiful gorgeous beautiful ex-Polyphonic Spree chanteuse Annie Clark. If you've never heard of her, check her out! Her music is lovely, and she does the most amazing, heart-crushing cover of “These Days” by Nico. Makes me weepy.

8 PM. The Commodore Ballroom (898 Granville St.). $32.75.

FLOGGING MOLLY – RISE AGAINST – THE BLACK PACIFIC Okay, I never listened to Flogging Molly and I've never even heard of The Black Pacific, but Rise Against was one of my favourite bands in grade 10. I had the lyrics to “Swing Life Away” written on my wall. Not a lie.

6:30 PM. Pacific Coliseum (100 N. Renfew St.). $41.25 and up.

t h u r s day o c t. 1 3 WORLD DRAUGHT MASTERS REGIONAL FINALS Who knew that this was a competitive thing?

“See regional finalists perfect the nine-step pouring ritual.” According to fake lore, if you do the ritual, you get extra wasted.

8 PM. Ceili's Irish Pub (670 Smithe St.). Free!

THURSDAY THE 13TH!!

Almost as scary as Friday the 13th! Fake legend has it that on Thursday the 13th, there's a really good chance that something shocking, like a balloon popping or a person jumping out from behind a door, will happen.

13:00 PM????? 1313 Deadend Dr. $13!!!!

NEON VANCOUVER / UGLY VANCOUVER From JJ: Apparently, a large and lovely collection of Vancouver’s Neon Signs will be on display to gawk at and examine. This is the opening day, so you should show up to be the “coolest” of your friends. Or don’t go at all, and be even “cooler” (aka nonchalant and useless). If you don’t like lights, you’re probably a major snob. Or just too avant-garde for your own good. 10am-8pm.

Vancouver Museum (1100 Chestnut St.). $12/10

LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH Every time I do it makes me laugh.

All day. Just look at it. Free!

VANTASTIC PRESENTS: FRIENDS WITH THE HELP + ESTEEMED GUESTS While this won’t be as fun as the Courier party, if there isn’t any space left at the Kozmik Zoo, catch some of Vancouver’s best local hip-hop acts, including headliners Friends with the Help, Pigsty, Potatohead People, Panther, and rookie East Van Down.

9 PM – 12 AM. The Cobalt (917 Main St.).

HUMANS MUSIC VIDEO PREMIERE + GUESTS ALSO not going to be as fun as the Courier party, but will probably be pretty sweet: local awesome-space-dance-pop group Humans will be accompanied by the “French house disco sounds” of San Franciscan Loose Shus. Dancing will be further encouraged into the evening by the Winnie Cooper DJs and Ricco of Slow DJs. 10 PM – 3 AM. Five Sixty (560 Seymour St.). $10.

SELENA GOMEZ! Who says you can't go to this concert? If I didn't have to be at the Courier party, no offense, but out of everything, this is what I would hit up.

7 PM. Rogers Arena. $59 and up.

JAY-Z AND KANYE WEST Beats! Raps! 10/10 on Pitchfork partnered with Beyonce's husband! I bet this is expensive. This sounds expensive before I even looked at the ticket prices.

8 PM. Rogers Arena. $76.40-$350 (I knew it!)

EDIT: I thought this was tonight! Oops, not until December. Listen to it at home I guess. Free.

BITCH SLAP! “A brand new night at Red Room showcasing all-female talent including DJs, vocalists, comedians, burlesque dancers and more!” This night promises to be “all about the music,” with a mix of techno, ghetto house, tech house, and dub. Who doesn't love ladies? I do. Smash the patriarchy!

11 PM – 3 PM. The Red Room (398 Richards St.). $7.

GLOBAL REVOLUTION DAY – OCCUPY VANCOUVER Fuck the corporate government! Let's do this shit. Starts at the VAG, but “be prepared to march to the capitalist hot spots in the surrounding area.” The Facebook event says it will go until Dec. 31, but who knows!

7 AM – 11 PM. Vancouver Art Gallery and beyond. Free!

JUST STAY AT HOME AND ORDER WOK BOX You deserve it. Everyone else is out doing fancy shit, but you had a rough week. And yes, Wok Box DOES do home delivery. I recommend anything with ribbon noodles. Make sure you get the crunchy deep fried oniony bits on top.

8 PM. Your house. Very affordable!

f ri day o c t. 1 4 THE CAPILANO COURIER PRESENTS: PUSHING BUTTONS PARTY We’re hosting an awesome newspaper party! Rock out to the sounds of Hunger City, Eeek!, and Kidnap Kids! at the cool, hot new venue Kozmik Zoo. It’s guaranteed to be A SHITFEST!!!!!!! Buy your tickets in advance from anyone that works or writes for the Courier!

Theme: neutral (eg. Beige, white, grey). 8 PM – 1 AM. The Kozmik Zoo (53 W. Broadway St.). $5.

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 5

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THOR FEST II This is a fundraiser for a kitty cat who needs surgery! I'm pretty sure there is no better cause than that. This all-day show features some of Vancouver's best bands ever, including Collapsing Opposites, Half Chinese, Bleating Hearts, and my best friend Alie's new band Movieland.

1 – 11 PM. Thor's Palace (message Facebook event for address). By donation.

s u n day o c t. 1 6 FUNKY SUNDAYS WITH THE PHONIX @ THE HELM Like funk, soul, and sweet sweet R&B grooves?

Check out The Phonix, a group made largely of graduates from the Capilano University Jazz program, who wail on hella funky classics all night long this Sunday! Free beer with paid cover plus crazy drink and food specials!

7 PM – 10 PM. The Helm (1180 Howe St.). $6 (includes free beer!)

THE EAST VAN ROCK&ROLL STREET HOCKEY TOURNAMENT I’m pretty sure the name of this event says it all. Not only do you get to see your fave local music scene members battle it out on the hockey tournament and listen to sweet “jock jams,” all proceeds from this event go towards St. James Music Academy, a music education program for kids who live on the Downtown Eastside.

11 AM – 5 PM. Grandview Park Sports Court.

Admission free, but be sure to grab some 50/50 tickets to support St. James Music Academy!

APPLE FESTIVAL This event looks like it's shaping up to be real “peachy”! “Orange” you getting excited already?

I personally guarantee that it will be “berry” fun!

Apples apples apples!

11 AM – 4PM. UBC Botanical Gardens (1604 SW Marine Dr.). $4/children free.

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Feat u r e s

ED IT OR // Ad él ie Houl e- Lachance // s pe c i al fe ature s . c apc o uri e r@ gmai l . c o m

new LANGUAGE MEANT to revolutionize communication But only ten people can speak it

By Evelyn Cranston // Staff Writer

neutral, unambiguous language could work to bridge cultural language gaps. The Sapir-Whorf hypothesis proposed an intrinsic link between language and culture, but by artificially creating an objective, math based language, Brown hoped to disentangle the bond.

The project, originally called Loglan (also entomologically based on logic language) consumed Browns life. It exploded into a large enough vocabulary and a deep enough understanding to create emotive poetry and translate famous literary works such as Alice in Wonderland. One man even proposed in Lojban, which literally translated to “I choose the state of being married to you.”

After an issue in federal court, Brown lost the rights to Loglan and it was renamed to Lojban.

dedicated core following. Since 2002, the Logical Language Group has hosted an annual meeting called Logfest. In 2011, the meeting was held in California, with a mere 10 people in attendance.

Still, the crowd ranged from beginners to veteran experts, and attendees participated in live conversation, workshops and presentations.

In 2005 and 2006, the meetings were held at science fiction conventions. This language movement has a very specific following, mainly people who live on the social fringes. Okrent attended Logfest and noted, “I didn’t see much live conversation at Logfest, but I did see a little. It goes very, very slowly. It’s like watching people do long division in their heads. Of course, the people who are attracted to Lojban are precisely the types who are good at doing long division in their heads.”

'AND' A LAZY WORD NO MORE

CULTURE-NEUTRAL LANGUAGE A POSITIVE THING?

C

The potential of an international, straightforward, easy to learn and culturally neutral language is huge. With an increasingly interconnected world, cross-cultural communication is vital. The official Lojban website states it has a wide variety of uses from “the creative to the scientific, from the theoretical to the practical.” It could be used for “people in communication with each other, or with computers in the future.”

Although Lojban is logical, it’s not emotionless.

The word .iu means love, but it can be modified to different forms of love. As a tutorial website elaborates, “.iuro'a is social love – what you might feel for a good friend. .iuro'u, however, is definitely sexual, while .iure'e is spiritual love, the kind of thing mystics feel, maybe. You can even have .iuro'e – mental or intellectual love – if, for example, you had a passion for physics.” However, Brown himself is quoted as saying, “by no means certain is Loglan a thinkable language, let alone a thought-facilitating one.”

If a language isn’t entirely equipped to convey a full spectrum of emotion or thought, it is hardly prepared for an entire culture. Because of culture’s inherent link to language, the idea of a scientifically objective, mathematical

// Illustrations by Katie So

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 5

The marriage proposal example alludes to the general tone of Lojban. According to the website, “Lojban has phonetic spelling, and unambiguous resolution of sounds into words.” Every sentence is a function of single meaning words and has a straightforward relation to grammar. However, the literal aspect of Lojban can’t be overemphasized.

For example, when you hear “I brushed my teeth and went to bed,” the ‘and’ is lazy in popular English discourse. Everyone understands that before you went to bed, you brushed your teeth.

However, in Lojban, the ‘and’ is imperative to the structure of the sentence. Spoken literally, you could have brushed your teeth while in bed, went to bed in someone else’s house or brushed your teeth two days before you went to bed. In Lojban, there are over 20 ways to use ‘and’. A proper approach to this sentence would be closer to, “I brush my own teeth (past). I go to my own bed (past, medium time interval)”.

As Aritka Okrent, PhD Linguist and author of In the Land of Invented Languages explains, “When you say you ‘woke up and ate breakfast’ do you mean that you woke up first and then ate breakfast? Or did you do the two things simultaneously? Or, maybe your breakfast was asleep, so you woke it up and then ate it.” Context and unambiguous meaning is the backbone of Lojban.

Clear enough?

Okrent describes her experience with learning Lojban: “The further I waded into Lojban, the more everything I heard seemed to be filtered through the sensibilities of a bratty, literal minded eight year old – ‘You love birthday cake? Well why don’t you marry it?’” She describes a moment she had while watching a children’s show THE PRINCIPLE OF LINGUISTIC RELATIVITY when the actors posed the question, “What two The idea of an invented, logical language arose numbers come after 6?” After thinking in Lojban as a response to the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis, for so long, she was truly baffled. She thought, otherwise known as the principle of linguistic “There are infinite amounts of numbers that folrelativity. The theory states that speakers of a low 6!” While the show was obviously alluding to specific language understand their world within an answer of ‘7 and 8,’ a logical thought process the structural confines of the language, and that threw her off. language invariably determines thought proLOGFEST: ANNUAL MEETING cesses. Sociologist by day and sci-fi writer by night, James Cooke Brown formulated a plan to The popularity of the original Loglan language combat this theory. In 1955, he began construct- was short lived. The general consensus held that ing a language that would be “taught to subjects it was interesting and well constructed, but esof different nationalities in a laboratory setting sentially useless apart from being a quirky hobby. under conditions of control” to test if a culturally Even so, the revitalized Lojban has a small, but oi mi’e la Lojban, mi se krasi logic! .i xu do pu djuno fi le du'u ? Hello, I’m Lojban, I come from logic!

Did you know what that meant? Probably not, as Lojban is a language understood by only a tiny fraction of the earth’s population, despite being proclaimed as an international language. It is notable for being an artificial language, completely disconnected from cultural ties which exercises strict adherence to rules of logic and grammar.

The word Lojban is derived from logji, meaning logic, and bangu, meaning language. Unlike other invented languages, such as Elvish or Klingon, all of Lojbans’ root words are based off six of the most widely spoken languages, Arabic, Chinese, English, Hindi, Russian, and Spanish.

The intention behind this is to make it easy for a wide demographic to learn. Lojban is a scientific approach to expression based on mathematical functions, logarithms, and a carefully constructed breakdown of sentence structure.

There are 1,300 “root words” in Lojban, from which all speech is constructed. The root words are all five letters long and avoid giving preferential treatment to European languages. As explained on a tutorial site, “’prenu' (meaning person) has the ‘per’ of English ‘person’ and the 'ren' of Chinese.”

If there is no root word to fit a meaning, words are either combined or compounded. For example, as there is no root word for ‘nurse’, a speaker would use 'kurji' (take care of) and 'mikce' (medic). As new words are developed within the language community, they are added to an online, openly edited dictionary.

language can seem unnatural and unsettling.

Lojban claims to be culturally neutral, but Carolye Kuchta, English Professor at Capilano University, argues otherwise.

“I do think [having a culturally neutrally language] is impossible,” she states, “but I do think that there could be a language that could have enough nuance within it that different cultures could access different parts of it for their own needs.” This is to say that some parts of Lojban may not be as useful in different areas of the world, if it were to become widespread.

Kuchta continues, “I think that people use language the same way that people wear clothes.

We’re not aiming to all look identical, we’re aiming to have style and flair. So even if we think about slang words ... those words are the ways that people infuse their own personal style, let alone cultural style, into a language.”

People use their words in a myriad of ways to convey their thoughts. Although Kuchta belives that a universal language in an increasingly globalized world could be useful, she says, “I think that people will always strive towards individuality and self expression.”

Even if personal expression is shorthanded

by Lojban, having an easy-to-learn, unambiguous language could serve a purpose for international, cross-cultural business situations. Though not the most widely spoken, English has swelled in popularity and is increasingly seen as a world language.

Kuchta states her concern with this, saying, “I think that there's a lot of question about whether English as a language, being the dominant language in the world, is also imposing a kind of very subtle ideology. I would be in favour of something a little more neutral, a little less English oriented.”

By using English, cultural differences in interpretation may be overlooked. Could a logical language such as Lojban be the answer? Kuchta was generally positive about the idea, but speculated, “I think that if it actually took place, people would find ways to modify it artistically and culturally for their own purposes.”

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f e atures The first bill allows for law enforcement officers to get access to your subscriber information from your ISP without a warrant; the second modifies the very nature of the hardware of the Internet in Canada to allow for real time surveillance; the third allows for law enforcement to access the browsing history, e-mails, and communications of Canadians.

Altogether, they allow law enforcement to track you, monitor you, and intercept your communications based on poorly defined variables without court oversight.

By Shawn Vulliez // Writer

W

hen the Conservative majority government recently opted to not include their lawful access provisions in the crime omnibus bill, non-profit advocacy group OpenMedia chalked it up as a victory.

Their online petition against lawful access, entitled “Stop Spying,” currently has about 70,000 signatures from Canadians who are opposed to the legislation. The Conservatives still appear set on introducing the bill early next year, leaving the future of the Internet in Canada uncertain.

Who's against it

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 5

What’s in the bill?

When the idea of “lawful access” was most recently introduced by the Conservative minority government in 2010, it was split into three separate pieces of legislation: bills C-50, C-51 and C-52. Together, the bills provide the framework for a drastically different version of the Internet, with increased focus on police interception of communications. Critics refer to it as “warrantless Internet wiretapping,” but what do the bills actually contain?

Bill C-50, or the “Improving Access to Investigative Tools for Serious Crimes Act,” requires Canadian Internet service providers to disclose specific information to authorities about their customers. At request of the government, Canadians ISPs (Internet Service Providers) will be forced to disclose your name, address, home phone number and Internet protocol address to investigators without court oversight. Additionally, Canadian ISPs are required to disclose a series of device identification numbers associated with the hardware you use to access the Internet, such as your router and modem.

“While some of that information may seem relatively harmless, the ability to link it with other data will often open the door to a detailed profile about an identifiable person,” said Micheal Geist, Canada Research Chair in Internet and E-commerce Law at the University of Ottawa. “Given its potential sensitivity, the decision to require disclosure without any oversight should raise concerns within the Canadian privacy community.“ Bill C-51, or the “Investigative Powers for the 21st Century Act,” requires ISPs to reconfigure their networks to allow for real-time surveillance. The bill establishes a regulatory structure for Internet providers to intercept communications, monitor individuals online, and monitor multiple individuals at once. It also establishes mandatory reporting requirements that force ISPs to disclose their technical surveillance capabilities, as well as give follow-up reports when their capabilities are increased.

Bill C-52, or the “Investigating and Preventing Criminal Electronic Communications Act,” creates new police powers to deal with the surveillance data collected by the new Internet structure outlined in Bill C-51. This includes a new type of data transmission warrant that grants real time access to communications of suspected individuals, including metadata such as the type of communication, the time it was sent and received, the duration of the communication, and its destination.

Additionally, police could obtain a “preservation order” to force the ISP to log all of a specific customer's information, including the content of their e-mails, instant messages, and their browsing history, for 90 days.

Once these two things are done, law enforcement can use a “production order” to force the disclosure of this communications data for their investigation. However, section 17 of Bill C-52 allows for Law Enforcement to supersede the need for these new warrants in “exceptional circumstances.”

Big Brother is Lawfully Accessing You Creepy new Internet spying bill threatens the future of the free Internet and your privacy

The bill has been extremely unpopular with the official opposition (the NDP) and civil liberties groups, and has been spoken out against by all fourteen Privacy Commissioners in Canada.

“What we have been hearing from experts and citizen is that this new law gives the government and police way too much power to snoop into our lives,” said Charlie Angus, New Democrat Privacy and Digital Affairs Critic.

“Canadians are right to feel that the Conservatives are not protecting their privacy and that we need to curb this bill.”

Lindsey Pinto is the Communications Manager for OpenMedia, a national, non-partisan, non-profit organization best known for their campaign against usage based billing. “These bills are warrant-less, invasive, and costly,” says Pinto.

OpenMedia is now leading the charge against lawful access with their online petition “Stop Spying.” On Oct. 3 of this year, they released a 15 minute short film called (un)Lawful Access, which is comprised of interviews with legal and privacy experts and can be found on their website.

The NDP, the Canadian Civil Liberties Association, and privacy experts are not alone in their ideological opposition to the legislation either.

According to a recent survey published by the Office of the Privacy Commissioner of Canada, eight out of ten Canadians are opposed to “giving police and intelligence agencies the power to access e-mail records and other Internet usage data without a warrant from the courts.”

The survey also indicates that Canadians are "deeply suspicious about the collection and use of personal information by public- and privatesector organizations."

Why they are against it The issues that these critics have with the lawful access can be broken down into five categories: 1) Spying on personal communications without a warrant is a violation of our right to privacy. “We understand that there is a need for law enforcement to have tools, but this method is intrusive and doesn't have any respect for the privacy rights of Canadians,” says Pinto.

2) Canadians generally don’t trust the government with this technology. “The Orwellian type fears that often get raised have some truth to them.” says Geist, “If you establish rules with no court oversights, if you establish new levels of surveillance within the network – you’re setting yourself up for uncharted territory, one that I think many may find disturbing.”

3) The cost of upgrading Internet infrastructure to the specifications of Bill C-51 is very large, and it’s not clear where the money is going to come from to pay for it. “That will mean, ever so neatly, that we pay for our own surveillance. We pay for them to check on us,” says David Lyon, Director of the Surveillance Studies Centre.

Additionally, some suggest that the cost of implementing the infrastructure could severely

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f e atu r e s damage smaller ISPs who cannot afford to upgrade their capabilities.

4) There is insufficient evidence to show that this type of surveillance technology is necessary or effective. “The case has never been made that there is this problem. Before you bring forth this type of legislation surely the onus is on law enforcement to demonstrate where the problems have been” says Geist, “so at least we can draw a correlation between where the problems are and what the legislation is looking to achieve.”

According to public data about the twoyear period that the European Data Retention Directive, a similar law that was in effect in Germany, only 0.002 per cent of investigations relied on traffic data. As the founder of the Swedish Pirate Party Rick Falkvinge points out; “That’s nowhere near motivating a blanket surveillance of the entire population at this cost to finance and civil liberties.”

5) It appears as though the Conservative majority is looking to push this through without significant debate. “These are bills about the shape of liberty in Canada,” says David Fewer, Director of the Canadian Internet Policy and Public Interest Clinic (CIPPIC). “They deserve a full parliamentary debate. And we haven’t got a promise from the government that they will.”

Pinto agrees: “They're not going to be given a proper amount of debate, especially for what they are, which is something that's very different from what we've seen in Canada.”

In Defence of Lawful Access Lawful access has been introduced many times by members of both the Liberal Party and the Conservative party. Variations have been introduced repeatedly to parliament under different names over the last ten years.

Clearly, this is a desirable piece of legislation for the government, and it's easy to understand why: to say that full access to communications would be a very valuable tool for law enforcement is an understatement. If it were possible to monitor all of the data on the internet, the RCMP could end the distribution of images of child pornography, crack down on the illegal sharing of information and bring copyright criminals to justice, end the illegal drug trade by monitoring

cellular data networks, and reopen old investiga- and VoIP calls, because the vast majority of the tions based on new leads, such as private online undersea Internet cables leaving Canada travel confessions. through the United States first. The NSA policy is still in place today.

Similar things have been prevented DPI is used in Canada too, by major ISPs. The elsewhere very same DPI they use in China is being used The aforementioned European Data Reten- right now by Bell and Rogers to determine who tion Directive was a controversial piece of is participating in illegal downloading of movies legislation in European Parliament. Seeing and music so they can slow down their Internet that it required all ISPs in Europe to log all In- speeds. While officially this is the only purpose ternet activity for a minimum of 90 days, it is that DPI is used for, it is impossible to tell if it is no surprise that it was wildly unpopular and being used for any other purpose. hotly debated.

Paranoia about the use of this technology isn't In Germany, this initiative was put into unfounded – a leaked United States Embassy calaw in January 2008. However, the Federal ble has revealed that the Canadian government Constitutional Court of Germany ruled it un- has taken part in illegal wiretapping. constitutional in 2010, and it was struck down Fighting fire with fire as a violation of the guarantee of secrecy of correspondence.

For those people most opposed to this type of Additionally, the Czech Constitutional Court surveillance technology, there are several ways shut down mandatory data retention earlier this to protect your information from prying eyes. year, ruling it as unconstitutional. Likewise, the As the language in this section may be a little implementation in Romania was struck down by bit technical, I encourage you to use an Internet the Constitutional court of Romania as a viola- search engine to seek the definitions of terms you tion of the constitutional rights to privacy, free don't understand. speech, and confidentiality of communications.

Encrypting your e-mail is a simple way to The European Data Retention Directive prevent your communications from being read is still in place in the United Kingdom, Den- by someone other than the intended recipient. mark, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Poland, Slovakia, It’s not hard for unencrypted e-mail to be interSlovenia, Ireland, France, Finland, Estonia, Latvia, cepted and read by others on wireless networks, and Lithuania. or by law enforcement through DPI. Sending unencrypted e-mail can be likened to mailing a Invasion of Privacy Close to Home letter without an envelope.

Deep Packet Inspection (DPI) is a type of data The Onion Router (TOR) is used around filtering that can be used to eavesdrop on an indi- the world by political dissidents to anonymize vidual’s web connection. It’s used in China to find their web traffic. TOR works by relaying users' censor offensive material that they claim harm web usage through an international network the Chinese people or the interests of the state, of volunteer’s Internet Protocol addresses. As such as pornography, swear words, discussion IP addresses are assigned based on geographof alternative religions and/or political theory, ic region, this prevents the location of a user or discussion of the Tiananmen Square pro- from being accurately determined by authoritests. The same process is used in Iran to spy on ties, and allows users subject to regional cenpolitical dissidents. sorship by their authoritarian government to There was a public uproar in 2006 when it was access the full web. It also allows you to visit revealed that the United States’ National Security secret .onion domains not accessible on the Agency (NSA) had been working together with regular Internet.

AT&T using DPI to listen in on VoIP calls and Because information sent over TOR can be read e-mails without a warrant. There’s a good read at exit nodes, it’s recommended that you chance these could have been your e-mails also use GNU Privacy Guard (a type of web

encryption) for an extra layer of protection.

According to the TOR website, it is only intended to be used for web surfing. It negatively affects the network when it is used for torrenting or other large downloads. Another similar service is Java Anon Proxy.

For those of us who want to share files with friends anonymously, the I2P project is for you.

It’s structured in a similar way to TOR, but is designed to allow for encrypted torrent transfers. It protects better against traffic analysis and offers strong anonymity and end-to-end encryption.

12P offers anonymous browsing, e-mail, instant messaging, file sharing, and web hosting. Internet Relay Chat (IRC) can be done securely and anonymously in a number of ways, including through TOR and I2P. Another way to hide the location of your web traffic is to use a virtual private network. These can prevent law enforcement from identifying you based on your location, but the technology is not perfect. It varies in price and effectiveness from service to service, and as it does require a monthly fee, it is recommended that you do some research before committing, particularly if you are going to be giving them your credit card information.

Any of these individual methods may fail if not done correctly, but with care and research, it is possible to combat this legislation with technology. All of this software is freely available on the Internet with extensive documentation to guide you through the process of securing your data.

Encrypting your e-mail is a good habit that can also make you feel like an ultra-cool cyberpunk battle hero.

Coming soon to a computer near you Even with fiery opposition from across the political spectrum, it is likely that the Conservative party, due to their standing majority, will rush this legislation through parliament. They consider the introduction of the bill to be a campaign promise, which means that empirical data that discredits the effectiveness of the policy may not be enough. It is now in the hands of the public to make clear their opinion of this controversial legislation if it is to be prevented. Are you willing to sacrifice your privacy for security?

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 5

// Illustrations by Chris Dedinsky

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f e atures

Progress marches on Smart Meters for everyone by December 2012

By Sasha Lakic // Writer

I

t’s official: we are all getting smart meters, whether we like it or not. By December 2012, all of BC’s 1.8 million households will be equipped with one of BC Hydro's Smart Meters, despite some dissenting voices after the first 100,000 were rolled out.

With the meters, BC Hydro can measure a household’s consumption data once every hour, and send the information in four to six hour intervals to a larger data collector. That data is in turn sent to the main BC Hydro server for charge calculation and general examination of energy consumption. Charges can be exactly measured, and customers will always have a reference check in case numbers don't add up. Further integration of the system will include a display where a client can read off consumption and rates in real time, and down the road, it only takes a small mental leap to think of iPhone/Blackberry/Android applications that would let you track consumption when you are not at home.

BC Hydro argues that the reason for the rollout of the Smart Meter Program is the need to drastically upgrade BC’s power grid. The company’s revenue application for 2011 states that “like other utilities around the world, BC Hydro is planning to automate, modernize, and upgrade its electricity grid and metering systems. This will improve reliability, provide additional service options for customers and help to facilitate energy conservation and efficiency.”

So, the ancient meters now attached to everyone’s pipes are being, or will be, replaced with new digital, more accurate meters that show the consumer exactly how much he or she is consuming at any given time. It is meant to transfer the responsibility of energy conservation to the consumer and cause him or her to be mindful about wastefulness in the face of global energy issues.

weapon for a crackdown on energy theft in relation to marijuana grow-ops.

According to BC Hydro’s website, energy theft costs the firm around $100 million a year.

Having individualized meters has the potential to directly track the enormous energy use and pinpoint specific operations. In accordance with the Freedom of Information and Privacy Act, this information will be shared with the RCMP who will then be able to effectively shut down the operation in question, hopefully leading to a decrease in crime further down the road.

Although BC Hydro's initiative seems harmless, maybe it is the fact that surveillance of household consumption will be easier, and there is potential for insidious measuring and tracking of consumer behaviour that has public all riled up. Theoretically, the Freedom of Information and Privacy Act should defuse that paranoia, but there really is not a way of knowing for sure what the RCMP will do once they have attained the information on energy related operations.

Logic would suggest that a household can breeze through the system under the radar if it consumes the “normal” amount of kWh’s: high usage in the mornings and early evenings, low usage in the 9-5 hours, and night time off-hours. The message to take away is that if usage is always in the suspicious levels a customer should expect a call by the Mounties.

POWER METERS INCREASING CANCER RISK?

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 5

Some BC municipalities such as Colwood, Victoria, and Invermere have weighed in their opinions and concerns on the issue, claiming that the meters’ radio waves pose a potential health risk due to cancer-causing radiation. It turns out that the frequency, as illustrated by the meter manufacturer Itron, falls into laughable ranges at about 0.005 microwatts per square centimetre. Comparably, a cell phone lights up a brain at anywhere from 30 to 10,000 microwatts per square centimetre. An often quoted comparison BUSTING BC BUD GROW-OPS is that 20 years of the meters’ communication As a response, many have accused the program gives off the same radiation levels as a 30 minute of installing these meters to use them as a major cell phone call.

RENOVATIONS TO THE POWER GRID CREATES JOBS An issue that is not much talked about is the total cost of BC’s power grid refurbishment. The subtotal amounts to around $2 billion, $930 million of which is allotted to the Smart Meter program.

This means that energy charges over the next years will increase to compensate for the investment. As of May 1, 2011, the rate for the average resident has been set at 6.67¢/kWh for the first 1350 kWh; anything above that is charged at 9.62¢/kWh. This was an eight per cent increase from the previous year. BC Hydro says that increases in the future will be less, and determinable after reviews by the British Columbia Utilities Commission.

What BC Hydro, and surely BC’s leadership, are hedging their bets on is that this new initiative will create economic growth for the province over the next decade. In a news release from Sept.

6, BC Hydro claims that “there will be two million pieces of technology on the grid that need to be managed, creating new technology-based jobs that do not exist today.”

The smart meter program will create a total of 350 jobs province wide, and contribute $30-40 million in direct wages. However, this would be a small drop in the pond that is BC’s green sector of the economy. Vancouver’s non-profit GLOBE Foundation says that the sector “could represent up to 14 per cent of the province's total gross domestic product (GDP) by 2020, creating nearly 85,000 jobs.”

This is likely where the municipal discord is fostered. The government is spending large amounts of money on a new program, but creating jobs only marginally. In the shadow of the

// Illustrations by Stefan Tosheff HST referendum, the BC Liberals and BC Hydro launched more cost drivers that people have not been thoroughly informed about. This is in addition to having to immediately return to Ottawa $1.6 billion in HST conversion costs and repaying $2.4 billion of the same intermittently.

Scanning local news about smart metering yields only a small amount coverage by news outlets. If one wants to educate him or herself, BC Hydro and its affiliates are the only resources, and cross-referencing is required. Like the program itself, knowing about the nuts and bolts of the program is the populace’s task.

Following an article on the power meters published on-line by CBC, a poll questioning the reader's desires for the meters proved to have 88 per cent of voters against the implementation.

Though this is a staggering figure, it is important to remember that it only represents the opinion of those who actually read and voted on the article's web page. It is, however, a statistic to keep in mind when it comes to evaluating the voices of the mainstream public.

Since Edison invented the electric lightbulb in 1878, and consequentially patented a system for electric distribution in 1880, we have unquestionably come a long way in terms of technology.

In the Western world, tools that Edison could not have possibly fathomed even in his wildest dreams, such as the Internet, smartphones, and mp3 players now facilitate our every day living without second thought, and, in some cases, without a relateable grasp on how the world was before. Undoubtedly, technology is developing at an exponential rate, and will continue to do so. It is up to us as consumers to understand this, and to effectively use the tools supplied to us.

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a rt s

EDIT OR // Cl aire Vul l iamy // arts @ c api l ano c o uri e r. c o m

Fall Concert Roundup Partying hard while you were home studying

By JJ Brewis // Art Director

F

all concert season is well underway! With several choices for musical entertainment each night, it's hard to squeeze in all of the shows you want to see. Here is a round-up of some of the best shows I've seen recently. Special thanks to everyone at Timbre Productions for giving me access to all these great shows.

Diamond Rings / Twin Shadow September 28 Biltmore Cabaret

CSS / Men October 1 Venue For most bands, having the crowd chanting the word “sucks” would be an insult, but for CSS, hearing “CSS Sucks” is an homage to a track off their debut, and a fitting reason to hurry to the stage. After a long hiatus, Brazilian electro-punk

// Shannon Elliott pioneers CSS returned to Vancouver on the tip of releasing their newest effort La Liberacion.

Like a mixed-race, mixed-gender Motley Crue, CSS is like a girly cock-rock bonanza that can’t be touched in terms of performance appeal. With a stage set decorated in pink paper Valentine heart cut-outs, the band looked right at home, particularly vocalist Lovefoxxx, complete with wild pink hair and tear-away pants that she ripped off midset. Iggy Pop would certainly be proud.

CSS, with all their cowbell slamming and guitar solos, is certainly one of the most compelling bands to watch, a feat based mostly on their catalogue, but also on their dynamic stage presence.

Despite the 10 PM curfew of the show, the group, especially Lovefoxxx and her stage tricks, had the crowd at their every whim, from donning a sparkled cat mask and cape, to dangerously twirling her microphone in figure eights. And as she saucily made her way to the splits during “Alala”, the furiously catchy encore, the crowd’s enthusiasm overpowered the band itself – a true testimony of approval.

Opener MEN, fronted by former Le Tigre band member JD Samson, had an early hold on the crowd, with a set filled with songs about gender issues and empowerment. The last song of the

set, “Who Am I To Feel So Free,” was a scatterbrained dance-off with the band’s three members each pounding hard at their corresponding instruments. The band also charmed the crowd with their stage banter, particularly when discussing last-minute changes to the setlist. “We didn’t really get a sound check, we were gonna practice this song!” Samson announced as the group cut one of their songs a minute in. “We’re gonna start again,” guitarist Michael O’Neill stated. “That kinda sounds like a bunch of farts!"

The Pains of Being Pure At Heart October 3 The Biltmore NYC indie-pop outfit The Pains of Being Pure At Heart made a big splash at the Biltmore on Oct. 3, performing almost their entire discography, with a focus on their newest album Belong. Opening their set with the title track, lead vocalist and guitarist Kip Berman wasted no time showing his guitar skills, dramatically wailing about as if slaying a dragon within the neck of his axe.

Berman clearly feels his songs to the core: every time he finished a vocal phrase, he immediately ejected himself away from the microphone

stand, caught up in the frenzy of his playing. Each song was a standout, filled with guitar riffs and choruses catchy enough for even the most disenchanted record store employee to be right up front shouting along.

Berman did not own the stage by himself, however. Keyboardist Peggy Wang, in her oversized knit sweater and 90s platform runners, had all the charm of charms master Professor Flitwick. She grinned with full gusto as she thanked the opening act Big Troubles (a band of matching firstyear art school students playing what sounded like Jesus and the Mary Chain b-sides) and the crowd before thanking East Van hangout SushiYama: “Thanks for keeping your prices low!”

Before launching into the encore “Contender,” equally enthusiastic Berman paid homage to BC’s “beautiful mountains” and then went on to over-use the word “exceptional” to describe the entire crowd, particularly those who took the time to paint their faces for the event.

And as soon as the set ended, he blasted back off to the merchandise booth to excitedly sell his own records, also handing out rock pins by the handful. “They’re free! How many do you want?” he asked, with the cutest, goofiest grin on his face.

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 5

Two of the hottest up-and-coming electronic musicians both endorsed by Spin magazine in their Fall New Artists issue – performed a double bill at The Biltmore on Sept. 28. First up was Toronto native Diamond Rings, one-man band John O’Regan, hit the stage in a Vancouver Grizzlies ball cap and sunglasses. Opening his set with “Play By Heart,” a lovesick banger heavy on the synth, O’Regan quickly had the crowd entranced.

“This is not the Vancouver I remember,” he announced. “I think they wanna get nasty, but they’re gonna need some help.”

On occasion, O’Regan would leave his keyboard station and strap on his guitar, instantly comfortable and reassured. Back behind his keys, he periodically pounded one fist in the air, mid chord, as if an act of solidarity with his own songs.

In response, the crowd reacted in large form, taking a break from singing along to every word. In red face blush and with tribal drum-machine in tow, Diamond Rings rocked out in fashion before abruptly ending his performance, and promptly deconstructing his own set.

Up next was George Lewis Jr., better known by his stage name Twin Shadow, a Dominican Republic-via-Florida synth-pop artist steeped heavily in 80s gloom. On his album Forget Twin Shadow pulls off the musical equivalent of a soft-focus daguerreotype photograph: hazy, yet self aware.

In a live setting, as a four-piece rock band, Lewis carries himself with full swagger. The songs more layered and heavy, the atmosphere charmed with the crowd into full dancing order.

Lewis offered a half-cocked smile, saying, “You're all very pretty, by the way. We've been playing for ugly Americans for a while. We got uglier being in America, actually." Though many of the tracks benefited from an upbeat and charged delivery, the set highlight may have actually been the fittingly titled “Slow,” during which Lewis appeared to be delivering something of a musical eulogy to the ghosts of his past. And just like that, they swung right back into the heavy side with their banger “Castles In The Snow,” Lewis capping it off by telling the crowd, “I shouldn't fuck with you guys. You're the one who throw cars through pharmacy windows!"

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Arts

YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO COME ABOARD William Shatner stays culturally relevant Guide to Understanding the Shatnerverse and the World at Large. Co-written with The Daily Show’s // writer Chris Regan, Shatner Rules claims to be a comaptain Kirk … are you out there, soaring prehensive guide to “becoming William Shatner. aboard the spaceship Enterprise, racing Or more accurately, beautifully Shatneresque.” between galaxies and facing foes? Or are 1997: you just a memory kept alive by Space Channel Release of documentary film Trekkies by re-runs and the often unnerving fan fervor of the Robert Nygard “Trekkers/Trekkies”?

Playing Captain James T. Kirk in Star Trek from Trekkies are the notorious superfans of the Star 1966 to 1969 catapulted William Shatner from Trek series, and their reputation is probably as lowly stage actor to sci-fi icon. 40 years is a long well known as the show itself. These groups exist time for any actor to stay relevant, but somehow all around us; from the dusty confines of a shag William Shatner has managed to remain in the carpeted basement to the warming glow of a lopublic eye. cal comic shop, Trekkies meet and reminisce of The Montreal born actor will be returning times long past for the crew of the spaceship they to Vancouver on Oct. 19 to perform a comedy love so much. Even in Vancouver, such groups show, entitled How Time Flies: An Evening with exist. One is able to sign up online to the Star William Shatner, at the Centre for Performing Trek Fan Group, The Klingon Language Group Arts. Outside of comedy tours and celebrity- of Vancouver, or even the William Shatner Acendorsed appearances, Shatner has a long his- tor Appreciation Group. The annual Vancouver tory with our fair city, dating back to a 1970 Su- Fantasy and Sci-Fi convention, or V-Con, is also perValu commercial. Here’s a look back at the a little known and growing event held every Sependuring icon that is William Shatner, Star Trek tember for the last 36 years. and beyond.

By Colin Spensley

C

January 1997: William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy headline the Star Trek Convention in Vancouver

maintains a 360 acre horse ranch in Kentucky, regularly entering his champion purebreds in competitions across the country. He has also founded an Israel-based charity in hopes of spreading therapeutic relaxation through the riding of horses for at-risk youth.

The pair, who have a joking animosity that has long been fodder for press, returned to the event in June of 2010. William Shatner also made an appearance at the closing ceremonies of the Today Vancouver Olympics in 2010, giving a speech in the vein of the Molson Beer “I am Canadian” William Shatner is a Canadian artistic demicommercial. god. Perhaps he uses Vulcan mind control techniques to keep us captivated; more likely, Sept. 14, 2006: he has simply found humour in the masWilliam Shatner hosts the first Canadian sive ego that four decades of avid fan attenAwards for the Electronic and Animated Arts tion has created. At the ripe age of 80, Shatner at the River Rock Casino in Richmond shows no signs of slowing down, nor do any On stage at the event, William Shatner was re- of his fans want him to. Live long and prosper, turned his kidney stone, having previously sold Billy boy. the piece of medical waste to Goldenpalace.com to raise money for Habitat for Humanity. Golden- How Time Flies: An Evening With William palace.com, in returning the stone, also donated Shatner will be held on Oct. 14 at the Centre in $10,000 to the Richmond Therapeutic Equestrian Vancouver for Performing Arts at 777 Homer Society, as reported by the Vancouver Sun. Street. Tickets range from $79 to $399, which inWilliam Shatner has an equestrian affinity. cludes a post-show meet-and-greet with the legHe breeds American Saddlebred horses and end himself. Worth it? Most definitely.

Sept. 8, 1966: First episode of Star Trek is aired on CBS James T. Kirk is the square-jawed, levelheaded Captain of the starship Enterprise. "Kirk was a man who marveled and greatly appreciated the endless surprises presented to him by the universe. ... He didn't take things for granted and, more than anything else, respected life in every one of its weird weekly adventure forms," says Shatner in his 2008 Autobiography Up Till Now. Supposedly, Shatner’s main influence for Captian Kirk’s character was the historical figure Alexander the Great.

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 5

1968: Wiliam Shatner’s first album, The Transformed Man, is released (Also in 1968, Capilano College opens its doors for the first time) “William Shatner knows he can’t sing,” Shatner says, in an interview with Time Magazine in 2010, speaking of himself in the third person as only a true star can. Shatner’s first album The Transformed Man featured drawn-out, gutwrenching spoken word recreations of songs like “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds” and “Hey Mr. Tambourine Man.” The often-parodied reading of “Rocket Man” was originally performed at a 1978 Science Fiction Film Awards ceremony. William Shatner is often mocked for his wonderfully abstract music career. However, the music website Pitchfork, a taste-maker for many, gave Shatner’s second album Has Been a 7.5 out of 10 rating.

William Shatner will be releasing his third studio album Seeking Major Tom next month.

This destined-to-be-classic album features covers of many famous space themed songs including David Bowie’s classic “Space Oddity,” Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man,” and strangely not spacethemed at all, Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

1989: William Shatner begins his first foray into fiction with “TekWar” of the “Jake Cardigan” series Having penned over 36 books, many being Star Trek spin-off novels, as well as a few autobiographies, William Shatner is a master of the printed word. Shatner has a new book due out Oct. 4 which is hilariously titled Shatner Rules: Your

// Miles Chic

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A r ts

Not Just Fun and Games New Arts Club production is darker than it seems

By Lindsay Flynn // writer

T

he playful advertising for Circle Mirror Transformation, featuring a smiling, hula-hooping woman, is deceiving: the production is full of shocking revelations. Currently playing at the Arts Club on Granville Island, this play, directed by Nicola Cavendish, was penned by ballsy young American Annie Baker.

Early in the first act, one character, Theresa, reveals herself by regurgitating a loose-ended theory acquired on a New York subway about the “Jewish conspiracy” and its relationship to 9/11.

Later, we learn that another character, James, has an ongoing addiction to internet pornography, and the reasons for his difficulty communicating with his estranged daughter takes on new light.

By the climax of the second act, the revelation that one of the players was the victim of sexual molestation at the hands of their own father is a stark reminder that this brave and quirky play is not the quaint piece of theatre the audience may have anticipated.

The show revolves around a community theatre class for adults, set in a fictional New England town. The class is attended by aging hippies and young progressive types, rounded out by one solitary, cynical teenager. The middle-aged instructor Marty teaches her own husband James, former New Yorker and actress Theresa, recently divorced Schultz, and teenaged Lauren, all through the typical drama games played by

both beginner and experienced actors. The use of these activities as a way of breaking through social formalities and personal inhibitions works well in the telling of the story. It's rare to see a play where the actors squirm, tumble, and jump around as much as this. It's extremely funny, and the cast handles the physical comedy well.

The drama games also give the participants free license to voice their emotional realities. Instructor Marty and her husband James' 30-year is marriage falling apart at the seams. Theresa is escaping an abusive relationship and toxic career as an actor in Manhattan and Schultz, raw with the pain of his recent divorce, is barely getting by emotionally. Over the course of the play, these two engage in a brief and disastrous romance.

Teenaged Lauren stands on the sidelines asking when the class is going to do some “real acting.”

She dreams of being an actor and a veterinarian.

She is terrified, as well as disgusted by all of the dysfunctional adults around her – both in class and at home.

The show ends six years later, well after everyone has gone their separate ways. Lauren and Schultz have a chance encounter in a different state and reflect on how the class helped propel them into new chapters of their lives.

The Arts Club cast has amazing energy but sometimes it seemed as if they were in different productions. Donna White and Anita Wittenberg as Marty and Theresa, respectively, often played the scenes for laughs. Their big acting

left the ensemble lopsided at times. However, in more serious moments, both women were more nuanced and fit nicely with their three other cast mates. Director Nicola Cavendish is an experienced and respected BC actor herself, which makes one wonder why she directed her actors this way and failed to bring the ensemble into more of a balance.

Of all the cast, Brian Linds as divorced Schultz was the most successful at landing his character, and brought true humility to his performance.

Given the opportunity to embody an explosion, Schultz hangs his drooping arms, suspended in space, reminiscent of Christ on the cross. He then explodes: fizzling out with a long, dramatic whistle, only to be left writhing on the floor. After being rejected by Theresa in the first act, Schultz bares his scars for all to see; the effect is truly hilarious. It almost makes one feel guilty at laughing at him when he is clearly an emotional yo-yo.

In contrast to this is James (Alex Diakun) and Marty’s 30-year-long relationship. While the two actors succeed in telling their individual stories, they failed to portray the familiarity that two characters in such a long relationship should have. There was no indication of physical familiarity or habits.

Emilee-Juliette Glyn-Jones, besides having one of the longest names I've ever seen on a playbill, shone as teenaged Lauren. We see her working at her role occasionally, but in the end is doesn’t matter; she's charming, clearly meticulous about her new craft, and holds her own with the veteran

cast. This is her first show with the Arts Club, but we can only hope that they cast her again.

At the age of 29, playwright Annie Baker has now won two Obie awards, both this past year, for Circle Mirror Transformation and The Aliens.

The two productions tied for best drama, the latter billed as “a play with music and shrooms.” For those who don't know theatre world, the Tonys are the awards for Broadway productions, whereas the Obies are the awards for off-Broadway and off-off-Broadway shows. In indie theatre, many big stars get their start with the acknowledgment of one of these awards.

Baker is a sensitive and intelligent playwright, and whatever shortcomings the Arts Club production may have, the show is worth seeing for the script alone. It is an excellent example of what a young artist can dream up and create solely with the use of their own ideas. Circle Mirror Transformations has a small cast and minimal set, but beautiful and honest moments of storytelling. In other words: the best kind of theatre.

Student Rush tickets are available from the Arts Club on the same day as a performance (Pro tip from the box office: Tuesday and Wednesday are great days to ensure availability). These tickets are front row, and can be purchased in person at the box office or online for $22. Watch for more articles on how to get great priced student tickets to a variety of arts events in the city. Circle Mirror Transformation runs until October 22.

Sentimental Value New exhibit at the MOA ignites memories

By Leah Scheitel // Writer

T

collection of 48 photographs taken by Isiuchi Miyako of all the clothing and accessories left behind by the victims of the 1945 atomic bomb at Hiroshima.

“The Hiroshima exhibit has to do with objects of memory because Miyako is photographing these personal items and clothing that are at the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum,” says Duffek. The work by Miyako is a very personal project, Duffek explains. “She’s looking at those objects that are the same age as her, as she was born just two years after the Hiroshima bomb.”

“What we are really trying to do is explore different types of memory,” Laszlo explains, “Because Hiroshima was such a tragic event, we wanted to give people another way to think about memory and not just as traumatic memories.

// JJ Brewis There are memories that are happy, nostalgic, and inspiring.”

A Green Dress shows us that memories are made constantly, and explores the different emotions related to remembering and sharing in someone else’s experience. It can be as happy as seeing a family heirloom for the first time, like a First Nations noblewoman experienced when she saw objects taken from her family returned to her tribe two generations later. Her experience was captured in black and white photos and is part of the exhibit. It can also be as sad as seeing children’s sketches of stick men with guns depicting how war tore their homeland of El Salvador apart in the early 1980’s. Memory is made every moment, and this exhibit causes you to think of your own experiences and what objects make you remember the most.

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 5

he Museum of Anthropology at UBC has showcased many types of exhibits over the years, from the photography of Man Ray, to Haida and aboriginal carvings and Inuit prints with a Japanese inspiration. All of their exhibits create a connection between the objects and the people who view them. However, the exhibit A Green Dress: Objects, Memory and the Museum delves into the deeper significance of objects themselves and explores their greater meaning in relation to memory.

The collection, which is showcased at the O’Brian Gallery, features a variety of objects, all from very different cultural backgrounds, including First Nations, Chinese, Finnish, and West African, to name a few. Photographs, slides, art installations, children’s drawings, ancient shoes, and recordings of lost Native languages are all used to show us memories related to the items.

The exhibit explores the emotional connections we make with objects of our past.

The show combined the creative minds of four curators: Karen Duffek, Krisztina Laszlo, Carol Mayer, and Susan Rowley. They all chose certain a variety of objects to put into the exhibition, all for different reasons.

“We were tying to get this mix of medium, a mix of contemporary and historical objects, to create connections. We were trying to get that breadth from the different cultures,” explains Duffek, on how they chose the artifacts that they wanted to use.

The green dress of the exhibit’s title was sewn specially for co-curator Mayer. It was crafted by Jocelyn Natugo, whose ancestors killed a missionary reverend on the South Pacific island Erromango. The island was said to be cursed since the murder of the reverend, and the green dress was made in order to be worn to a peace ceremony between the indigenous people and the missionaries on the island. In 2009, Mayer wore the dress to the peace ceremony, which raised the curse that plagued the island for 170 years.

“When we thought about naming this exhibit, it was easy to come with things that sounded kind of cheesy, like a long distance phone commercial or like a Hallmark card, so we thought we would just name it after one of the objects that has some kind of curiosity value for the public,” Duffek says.

The exhibit also aims to show how technology has changed the way that people share memories today. One of the mediums used was an old-fashioned slide projector, one that might be found in your grandmother’s attic.

“We wanted to speak to experiences of sitting in someone’s basement,” explains Krisztina Laszlo, who works in the archival department of the museum. “[We wanted to look at] how people used to share memories, and contrasting that to present day: how digital technology like Flickr sites and Facebook and everything is shared with so many people so quickly.”

A Green Dress is meant to compliment the Hiroshima exhibit, which opens at the MOA on Oct. 13. The Hiroshima exhibit features a

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c o l u mns

EDIT ORS // Samant ha Thompson + Sarah Vit et // e di to r@ c api l ano c o uri e r. c o m

Popcourt

The cult of marriage

With JJ Brewis // Columnist

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 5

G

etting hitched is the epitome of success in many people’s eyes. In the world of celebrites, a perfect pairing can help propel a newcomer to fame, or bring back a fledgling star into the spotlight. With the wedding market fetching $40 billion annually in the United States alone, it's safe to see why the concept of getting hitched is huge in celebrity culture. Marriage is sold as a desirable concept for any lifestyle. It’s easy to see why: for celebrities, the idea of matching a massive expenditure with the social “norm” of matrimonial bliss is clearly a desired facet of life.

But marriage in the celebrity world is a magnified set of examples, often paired with public speculation and scrutiny on top of the regular bundle of issues matrimony faces even for the rest of us.

Regular people are often accused of marrying for money or for fame; celebrities who are already rich and famous are accused of marrying for publicity.

The dark side of being famous, as most of us have realized by now, is the lack of privacy and the overzealous media constantly judging their every step.

In 2000, before reality television had given us such relationship-rocking gems as The Hills and The Bachelor, Fox TV shocked the world with a two-hour television special entitled Who Wants To Marry A Multi-Millionaire? During the telecast, one female from each US State attempted to have an unnamed shadowy figure, revealed at the end of the show to be non-celebrity millionaire Rick Rockwell, choose them as the winner. Rockwell selected Darva Conger among the candidates, and the two strangers were married on the spot on live television.

Within months, news unfolded that Conger immediately filed for an annulment, stating that the show went against her morals. Overnight, an ER nurse from Illinois was made into a public persona. Conger admitted on Larry King Live that she missed the last few months of her disabled brother's life, knowing if she showed up to the hospital he worked at, that he would have media knocking down his hospital door. Yet despite the sadness of this circumstance, Conger seemed to do what was most lucrative to her. Soon after Millionaire, Conger would go on to make countless public appearances, pose for Playboy magazine, and end up ridiculed on the talk show circuit. Her public persona was short-lived, but without her brief marriage to Rockwell, Conger likely would not have found the endeavors or the fortunes she earned in that period.

Last year, pro-golfer Tiger Woods made international headlines after several years spent flying under the media’s radar. Whereas a decade earlier Woods was made famous for his impressive golf skills, this time he was placed directly back in the public eye after a public scandal surfaced which revealed his infidelity to his wife, Elin Nordegren. Before this scandal, Woods' name was barely mentioned in the press, and his noncelebrity wife didn't give the media a reason to delve into either of their private lives. When two celebrities marry, the press gladly plasters their faces on magazine covers, and blends their names together (see TomKat, Brangelina, etc.).

But Tiger Woods was living a comfortable life with his non-celebrity wife, wealthy on his prior winnings, yet not public enough to be stalked by paparazzi every time he left his home.

Once news of his cheating antics hit wind, Woods was immediately back in the media’s

focus. More interestingly, however, Nordegren became an overnight household name that thousands of spouses who had been cheated on empathized with and rooted for. Photos of Nordegren attending divorce hearings were a weekly standard in People and US Weekly.

Throughout the eight-month stretch between the initial news to the divorce, Elin Nordegren attempted to stay out of the spotlight, but the media demanded she remain where they could see her.

Even without negativity like a reality show stunt or infidelity, the celebrity status of marriage can seem awry. This year, a stranger to most of us became a recognizable face when Prince William wed former "commoner" Catherine “Kate'” Middleton. Much like the marriage of William's parents 30 years earlier, international publicity came full force with the wedding.

Middleton faces a massive jury, as William has been an international identity since his birth.

Young women across the globe have vied for his attention since they and he were pre-teens, and now that he's spoken for, Middleton is challenged with playing the role of instant icon, facing the press on a daily basis, as well as being comparable to the late Princess Diana.

Nothing that Kate Middleton has done has made her subject to “celebrity status” aside from the man she chose to walk down the aisle with.

The same could be said for both Nordegren and Conger - had their lives followed different paths, they might never have become public personalities. Their celebrity status, no matter how shortlived or withstanding, has depended not upon their talents, their behaviour, or their merits. In their marriages to these men, these three women are but a fraction of the people whose identities have been decided for them by the media, and bought by the public. Conger is seen as a money-hungry airhead, Nordegren as a heartbroken, crushed soul, and Middleton as a proper yet modern woman who sticks to her husband's side. This is especially relevant in Middleton's case: she has had the rest of her life decided for her, in terms of the social and public duties she is required to perform in her role of Duchess.

Where marriage is concerned, it is an everchanging and multi-faceted component of the human lifestyle. For celebrities, with each decision being carefully watched, it is interesting for the public to watch the relationships unfold.

However, it would be better for us to let these

// Author illustration figures’ careers, personal endeavors, and personality traits speak for who they are: Conger's heartbreaking woes about her brother's death were whitewashed by the concept of, "Well, she chose to go on that show." Nordegren had the finger pointed at her, despite not being the one to commit adultery. Middleton is essentially given a free pass, but her face is far more recognizable than anything about her as a person.

When Andy Warhol famously said, “In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes,” it seemed a far cry from the truth. But now, fame is only an “I do” away for many of today’s cases. One does not have to be a politician, an artist, or actor to gain the reputation of what a “celebrity” is today. Certainly, falling in love and tying the knot can come with many fringe benefits or dark sides, but the add-on of celebrity status can prove to be either a curse or a blessing – sometimes both.

JJ Brewis is quite possibly the keenest member of our editorial staff. He has been writing columns on various topics for the Courier for three years now. This term, he is using celebrity examples to // Stefan Tosheff examine the flaws in our society.

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C o lu m n s The Fallout Files

The Mind of the Camino Wandering I am arriving At my own pace Step by step

—Kelsey Brick

K

elsey Brick walked for 37 days; mostly alone, with blown knees and endless blisters, 800 kilometres, from France to Spain on an ancient road called the Camino de Santiago – the Way of Saint James. She traced a path to the bones of the first martyr of Christianity, then continued on for another hundred to the Atlantic coast and Cape Finisterre – the end of the world.

Only, she isn't a Christian. “You’ll come across 101 reasons why people were on the Camino; I knew I was there because I was broke and because I wanted to see Spain,” she explains. “I told people I was on a culinary tour by foot across Spain, that I was looking for cheese.”

Kelsey, a mature undergrad at Simon Fraser University, spent a year on student exchange in Spain. She learned of the Camino from a book called What the Psychic Told the Pilgrim.

“My intent was to finish ... to close doors … so I could move into the next phase,” she explains.

“It gave me a lot of perspective on things that I needed to end in my life ... my degree, my bad relationship.”

She was also about to turn 30, and felt that she wanted a rite of passage from one phase of her life to the next, to mark her own milestone.

The logistics were simple: at a cost of about €30 a day, Kelsey was able to walk the winding country roads between villages, from hostel to hostel, mostly going solo during the scorching days and then bedding down in communal dorms at night.

As a seasoned hiker, swimmer, and rock climber, she started out on her first day as a competitor, logging 27 km. By the second day, she had blown her knee running down a hill. “Sometimes the will of your mind is a lot stronger than what your body is going to let you do. ...[It was] a slap in the face, with a hardcore dose of humility. ... You learn [two things] very quickly: to go at your own pace, and to listen to your body.”

Kelsey’s journey stretched out before her into an endless, dusty horizon, winding past gnarled vineyards and cryptic, medieval churches. While she doesn’t describe herself as a religious person, the vivid clarity of mind that she found while walking became the most profound experience of her life. “When you’re in school, you’re doing seven things at once; it’s impossible to only be doing one thing at a time, which is what you’re doing when you’re walking ... I think there are a lot of distractions in our lives that prevent us from obtaining this kind of calmness within our mind.”

While some pilgrims on the Way would say they were guided by the whisper of spirit, or by the voice of God, Kelsey was guided by her will to finish and the intense pain in her knee.

Focusing on her suffering actually served to stifle her thoughts, allowing her to find a space of clarity within her chaotic mind. Ironically, it was her moments of physical relief from her knee pain that brought back her inner critic, the one telling her to quit. She named this clarity the “mind of the Camino,” and despite her negative feelings about the Church, she could not deny that this remarkable state of awareness allowed for “weird experiences” which she could not explain.

“Every time I found myself on the verge of needing something ... these moments would

With Kevin Murray // Columnist

appear.” She describes strange meetings with travelers offering food, advice, a walking stick, or crucial yoga advice for her knee at the points when she most needed it. There was a night in Puento de la Reine when she had reached the her limit; she was ready to quit due to the inflammation in her knee. “I thought I would never walk normally again.” She met the hospitalero of her hostel and mentioned her suffering. He turned out to be a physiotherapist who offered her a treatment.

Another time, while walking along the vineyards of Rioja, Kelsey ran out of water because she had missed a signpost for a rest stop. Dehydrated by the fierce Spanish sun and on the verge of fainting, she was ready to stagger under the shade of a gnarled vine and die when she wished for a companion to talk her through the last stretch of her day’s walk. At that exact moment, her mother called her emergency cellphone which had been nearly silent for the entire journey, and helped talk her through.

Another time, a village hostel, or albergue, had its roof collapse, leaving precious few rooms for the pilgrims. With another crisis of her knee occurring, she cried out in her mind for help, and at that moment another traveller decided unexpectedly to leave, offering Kelsey her bed. Just like before, she found help in the exact moment she needed it. “These moments ... could be coincidence, but a blatant coincidence ... you start to wonder. ... The rumour on the road is that these [moments] are gifts from Santiago.”

The final leg of the journey into Galicia itself, to the holy Church which stands sentinel over the relics of Saint James, was “anticlimatic.” She attended the Mass, her first and last on the entire journey. For many pilgrims, the Mass was an epiphany, though Kelsey was

put off by the heavy moral messages of the Catholic ceremony and the themes of sin. She found the ritual’s messages to be unhinged from her own sense of herself and her journey. No fan of organized religion at the best of times, Kelsey found the cathedral to be “a circus tent … more like an attraction ... the only things that those people were missing were [accessory] dogs and [designer] bags. ... It was more tourist than religious.”

Regardless, she obtained the Compostela, the certificate of completion, from the event, yet she felt little satisfaction. The last five days had been a race with endless crowds, as the only requirement for the certificate was to complete the final 100 km, and she was suspicious of these pilgrims who had walked five days for a piece of paper.

Kelsey walked on, past Galicia to the end of the world, Cape Finisterre. There, she burned her underwear on the rocky coastline and “baptised” herself in the icy cold Atlantic. While she had not bought and carried the traditional sign of St. James, the scallop shell, for the duration of her journey, she found a personal shell on the coast, seemingly set aside just for her.

The lines of the shell symbolize the paths of the pilgrims who all begin at different points, yet all end at one destination, the hinge; for Kelsey, that hinge showed itself at Finisterra, the ocean.

Of the 272,703 people who travelled this road in 2010 during what the Church called a “Jubilee year,” about half did it in Kelsey’s style – for personal reasons. “When you walk 900 kilometers across a country ... I guess it becomes a spiritual thing. If it’s about touching the inside of who you are as a person ... most people would have had that at some point, walking their Camino.”

WILD GREEN PLAN

To bee or not to bee

T

// Columnist

these flowers, and they will also attract butterflies and birds. Eliminating personal pesticide use in your garden is another way to encourage bee traffic and pollination.

Groups like the Environmental Youth Alliance (EYA) have taken encouraging bees one step further. In 2007, the EYA started a program called Park Pollinators Paradise, through which they hoped to both improve the habitat for native pollinators in Vancouver and to educate Vancouverites about the importance of these insects. The project began by putting bee shelters on private property across the city, and later expanded to include public spaces, such as parks. The EYA has been focusing on the Blue Orchard Mason Bee (Osmia lignaria), which is a native bee that is both an effective pollinator and non-aggressive.

The EYA is also teaching youth how to keep bees for honey production. Young people are learning that honey does not just come from a plastic jar at the grocery store, but can actually come from their own backyards.

Beekeeping has been happening all over Vancouver for years, despite laws that existed until 2005 banning beekeeping from the city. It was the criminal activity of choice for otherwise lawabiding citizens, and the City turned a blind eye for the most part, only prosecuting if neighbours complained. Now, the law has been changed to

allow for up to two beehives on any residential property, with some restrictions to ensure that safe and proper care is given to the hives. This includes putting high fencing or hedges near the hives so that the bee flight path is above head-level, and providing a water source near the hive so that bees don't go searching for water around the neighbourhood.

The policy report that first recommended the law change also addresses the issue of bee stings, which, when a hive is properly managed, are quite rare. Bees have been domesticated and bred for gentleness, as well as hardiness against winter cold and disease resistance. The disease resistance doesn't seem to have worked very well, however, as the bee population keeps declining, but the gentleness is certainly apparent when one compares a bee to a wasp or a hornet.

On top of the practical value that urban beekeeping has, there has also been noted the educational value. Bee hives can assist in teaching the reproduction cycles of plants, as well as how food grows. With the city helping to support pollinators, and initiatives like the EYA helping to bring about the change, Vancouver will hopefully start to bloom and bear fruit again. Maybe if we're lucky, I'll even get a harvest of plums next year.

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 5

// Miles Chic here is a plum tree in my parents' back yard, and most years we get a good enough crop to leave us with a freezer full of plums all winter. This year was different, however: the blossoms arrived well before winter was fully over, and when the time came to look for fruit, we had none. The spring had been too cold, and the bees hadn't come.

Bees are vitally important to almost all grow-

ing things. Without the pollination they provide, many plants, like my plum tree, are unable to bear fruit. Cold weather is not the only factor that reduces the number of pollinating bees, though.

The world population of bees has been steadily declining in the last few decades, most sharply in the United States. A team of entomologists from the University of Illinois found that four of the eight species of bees they studied had declined in population by up to 96 per cent. Though scientists are still unsure as to why this is happening, some factors under consideration include disease, lack of genetic diversity, pesticide use, and loss of habitat.

Loss of pollinators is not a welcome prospect for gardeners, farmers, or environmentalists. It is estimated that one third of the food we eat and 90 per cent of the world's commercial plants depend on pollination by bees. That includes most fruit, vegetables, and nuts, as well as soya beans, coffee and cotton. Those are all things that, without bees, we would not be able to naturally produce anymore.

Bee diseases and lack of genetic diversity aren't really things that regular individuals can fight on their own, but pesticide use and habitat loss are. One of the easiest ways to help is by planting flowers in your garden that are native to the area you live in. Native bees will recognize

With Yette Gram

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C o l umns People watching

The art of complaining

“E

// Columnist

you probably meet people like this fairly often.

It was another day working in the hostel for me, and with it came a new complainer who just couldn’t help but chat to me at long length about what really annoyed her whilst staying in Vancouver – or any other place for that matter.

“Rain, it always seems to be raining here, and everything’s so expensive. I am running out of money fast, how am I going to afford to get home after this North America trip?”

She zipped up her waterproof coat to the very top, pointing out her discomfort and unhappiness even more, “Oh, and the fan in my room doesn’t work, which is quite annoying, actually.” It’s good to know that cool rainy days also require a fan just in case the sun pops out from behind those clouds and turns the room into a sweltering sauna.

According to author Will Bowen (acomplaintfreeworld.org), there are five main reasons why people complain. Firstly, to start a conversation: complaining inspires rapport, and if someone else shares your view then you have found common ground. Second, to avoid taking action by shirking responsibility: they don’t want to change the situation or find a solution; they just want to talk about it. Third, they use them as a way to brag about their superiority by stating that their high standards are not being met by other people.

Fourth, complaints are used to control others by using it as a way to get people to switch loyalties; and lastly, to pre-excuse poor performance: complaints become off-hand excuses for why somebody was late or forgot something, for example.

I would like to think that I don’t complain very much unless absolutely necessary (the definition of “necessary” is a debatable topic, however).

As Bowen suggests, I do complain a lot in order to start up new conversations or generate friendly banter. For example, I might say, “This coffee tastes like dirt!” to the guy spitting out his coffee next to me who seems to share the opinion that the coffee is in fact, disgusting. Or, if the girl sitting next to me on the bus begins staring down at my sodden boots, I would say, “Rain doesn’t work with new shoes.”

However, this kind of complaining is a less annoying because it’s typically not as aggressive, // Jason Jeon and instead is used as a spark for conversation

– arguably a more positive purpose. Shared experiences, even if they are bad, bring people together, and complaining about them is part of that step. When guests complain about things like their fan not working, or their roommate snoring, I am instantly less irritated because they are legitimate reasons for seeking help from me. However, when “The Complainer” is bragging and attempting to control others, it’s a different story.

Margaret Paul, author of Addiction to Complaining, believes that complaining is a “pull” on other people. She states that complainers are pulling on the energy of others in a search for compassion and understanding because they have emotionally abandoned themselves. Their inner child is desperately seeking attention and approval. Complaining does seem like the easiest way to get it, if the service worker they talk to has the patience and time on their hands to listen to them and put on their best “the customer is always right” face in front of their boss. And sometimes, much to my excitement, I have to do just that.

Heather Welsh is from a quaint little town in England surrounded by fields and sheep. She drinks tea and eats Marmite on her crumpets and once got invited to party with Prince Harry. Her column is a documentation of her experiences working at a Vancouver youth hostel.

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 5

xcuse me, excuse me!" The shrill voice sounded in my ears one morning.

"You've been out of paper towels in the men's washroom in the basement since eight PM last night, can you do something about it?"

"Yes sir, I'll get it sorted," I replied politely, trying to keep a calm face on despite the fact that this particular guest had complained to me five times already that morning.

No prizes for guessing the name I've given to this "species" of traveller – "The Complainer.” And unfortunately, if you work in customer service,

With Heather Welsh

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O p i n i o ns

Edi tor // Marco Ferreira // o pi ni o ns @ c api l ano c o uri e r. c o m

Mother, May I? Doctors discuss denying obese women fertility treatment

By Claire Temple // Writer

I

magine if women were forced to undergo a rigorous medical examination before they were permitted to get pregnant. The test would screen for health problems, hereditary disease, and mental and financial stability, in addition to core values. It's a scenario more likely found in dystiopian fiction than real life. However, a proposed ban on in-vitro fertilization (IVF) for obese women is arguably this hypothetical scenario in reality.

During a conference in Toronto last week, fertility doctors discussed whether to put in place a nation-wide ban on IVF for women who are considered obese. Obesity is clinically diagnosed when a person's body mass index (BMI), a measurement of weight relative to height, is greater than or equal to 30. Many doctors in the world already refuse to give IVF treatment to women who have a BMI of over 35, due to potential health risks and complications to the mother and the baby.

“We’ve had many angry patients say to us, ‘This is discriminatory,’ and I say, ‘Yes, it is.’ But I still won’t do it,” says Arthur Leader, co-founder of the Ottawa Fertility Centre, in an interview with the Globe and Mail. “A patient doesn’t have the right to make a choice that’s going to be harmful to them.”

And yet, the fertility treatment can be potentially harmful to anyone looking to have a baby, no matter how fit the woman might be. IVF gives a woman a 1 in 4 chance of having twins, compared to a 1 in 80 chance with natural conception. Multiple-baby pregnancies increase a woman's chance of having a miscarriage, as well as her chances of getting diabetes. Also, the

fertility drugs used to stimulate egg production can have severe side effects such as insomnia, blurred vision, irritability, and weight gain. All these potential complications of IVF are increased if the patient is obese. Research shows that severely overweight women require higher doses of fertility drugs for ovulation, increasing the risk of side effects.

However, Anthony Cheung, a fertility expert at the University of British Columbia and Grace Fertility Centre, stands against the motion. At the meeting in Toronto, Cheung argued that studies also show IVF does not pose unacceptable risks for heavy women, and that BMI alone is not a good measure of obesity in the first place. Age, he said, is “by far the strongest indicator” of potential complications due to IVF. “We don’t say, ‘Oh sorry, you smoke, so we can’t treat you – it could result in pre-eclampsia, or small babies,’” said Cheung to the Globe and Mail. “It doesn’t

mean we have this blanket policy where we say we can’t treat [smokers].” There are many factors that contribute to the success of IVF, so why is obesity the only one being targeted?

“If you are more than 100 pounds overweight, that issue must be addressed before you start a family,” says Beverly Hanck, executive director of the Infertility Awareness Association of Canada.

“Get off ... 50 pounds or so and exercise, and then see where your fertility is at. A woman can lose 20 pounds and conceivably become pregnant …

It could take a year, but it could result in getting pregnant naturally and save thousands of dollars.”

In some cases, losing weight is not possible, whether it be for physical or medical reasons. In these cases, a woman's chances of having a baby are incredibly small. Obesity in itself is already a barrier to conceiving naturally.

“It may be for some women that [not

// Shannon Elliott conceiving] is wise advice … but it’s ethically troubling,” said the University of Manitoba’s Arthur Schafer. “In our society, the decision to procreate is left to the individual – so why would it be appropriate for the doctors to usurp those rights for women who are obese?”

The decision could set a dangerous precedent.

If the reproductive rights of obese women are taken away, what about other “imperfect” women?

There are many genetic flaws that have a high risk of being passed down from mother to child, from grandmother to grandson: Asthma, Autism, ADD, ADHD, Alzheimer’s, Down’s Syndrome, colour blindness, Dwarfism, Treacher Collins Syndrome, and diabetes, just to name a few. All of these are undesirable, and yet are they so undesirable that it would be better if these people weren't born at all? Nobody is perfect; if we start putting restrictions on who can have babies, one must wonder where we will draw the line.

Nobody Cares about apathy The decline of student activism

By Claire McGillivray // writer

“M

student activism, but treading the middle ground doesn’t help us figure out the “why” behind a decline in student activism.

Apathy vs. boredom is highlighted in the film The Trotsky, a comedic social commentary

by Montreal director Jacob Tierney. The film’s protagonist, brilliant but eccentric Leon Bronstein, is under the curious perception that he is a modern-day reincarnation of Leon Trotsky, and therefore must live out his life according to Trotsky’s monumental timeline. Leon desires to revolutionize his high school, even going as far to stage a campus-wide walkout. His downfall is when he faces the problem of student apathy vs. boredom. Jacob Tierney’s answer is clear: we are not apathetic, we are bored. Like the slightly younger versions of ourselves portrayed at Leon Bronstein’s high school, we are simply in dire need of a cause to be passionate about.

Take action. At the very least, we can seek out what Guretzki refers to as “something significant to care about.” If you disagree with something, speak up about it. If you have a passion, don’t mistrust it, follow up on it. If we remain still or silent then we really are screaming apathy.

Wouldn’t screaming “fuck the man” be a little more titillating?

// Kailey Patton

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 5

any students are basically uninterested in activism. They roll their eyes when professors and administrators attempt to stoke ‘change agent zeal,’” states Ashley Thorne, communications director of the National Association of Scholars in her essay entitled Beating the Apple Tree: How the University Coerces Activism.

Thorne boldly goes on to state that “[an] obstacle [she] ran into all semester was a general apathy among the students, manifested in their procrastination and lack of interest. True activists are activists because of a deep-seated passion and world view. People without that core commitment do not make good activists, and struggle to connect with those who do. Most of [her] students did not express interest in or concern for any issue, not even the rather ‘in’ topic of environmental activism, and therefore had no motivation to work for change.”

Are students apathetic or just bored? Perhaps these two states of mind seem relatively similar, but they’re not. As David Guretzki, Dean of the Seminary and Associate Professor of Theology

at Briercrest College in Saskatchewan, writes, “Apathy means that someone just doesn’t care.

Boredom, on the other hand, may mean that someone is simply unaware of something significant to care about.”

Although Guretzki goes on to use this concept in a passionate defense of religion and to warn individuals against “the dangers of sliding into a lackadaisical Laodicean apathy,” his statement rings true for individuals of all religious or non-religious persuasions. This links back to the question at hand. Are we ‘lost,’ as Guretzki implies, and is that why we are seeing a decline in student activism, or are we, as Thorne indicates, apathetic; simply lukewarm and indifferent?

In an essay by Harvard University graduate and State University of New York professor, Rachel Fix Dominguez, it is stated that “the scope of student activism has always been a point of contention for academics, despite the excellent quantitative work of researchers of higher education.” Dominguez explains that being an activist whilst maintaining academic success and maintaining an acceptable quality of life means being able to combine your passions and multitask.

This gives us an apparent “how” to the question of

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o p i nions

CHARITY CASE Following the money, and examining policy

By Liam Loxton // Writer

D

// Kailey Patton communities will be strengthened and the crime rate will drop. If there are more health organizations, communities will be healthier and citizens will live more productive lives. these factors combined typically lead to lower claim rates and can contribute to a strong economy.

From a distribution perspective, more awareness of these smaller charities is needed. For example, organizations like Imagine Canada are creating informational presentations for corporations to help them make more informed decisions about where their money could be most beneficial.

Another tactic to increase corporate donations is by government intervention. Higher tax rates could be implemented on the public and private sectors, ensuring that a particular amount reaches each charity based on a criteria that the public can establish. The alternate option to this would be to reduce corporate tax rates with the

intent of stimulating job growth, thus resulting in more individual donations. In theory, corporations will have more profits leading to more donations in the absence of government funding.

An article presented by Canadian Auto Workers’ (CAW) union and confirmed by the federal government’s own data shows that a tax cut “does not guarantee that companies will spend the money on research and development or on hiring more employees.” Therefore, tax cuts result in a net loss for charities due to reduced budget and no increase in individual donations.

The same article goes on to demonstrate that if $3 billion was cut from the budget in order to support corporate tax breaks, it would create 46,000 fewer jobs compared to extending EI benefits. Even if jobs are created, there is the demonstrated problem that corporations are currently narrow-minded on what charities they will donate to.

If the BC Liberals are serious about improving family life, then perhaps they should re-evaluate corporate tax breaks. Allowing the government to step in can be more beneficial to charities than tax cuts and substantial social services can have a much larger impact on families than a cheque from the Liberals. These goals need to be realized because, ideally, individuals, government, and corporations all want the same thing: healthy communities, happy citizens, and a strong economy.

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 5

ue to the fact that tax rates aren't high enough to subsidize all social services effectively, our way of life is directly impacted by charities and non-profit organizations.

We are asked to donate every day, from the boxes at fast food establishments and smile cookies at Tim Hortons to canvassers on the street. It's evident that charities are an essential part of keeping society functional.

According to Imagine Canada in 2010, Canadian charities received $11.2 billion in donations from corporations and individuals. These monetary gifts significantly impacted communities by establishing which charities thrive or succumb to bankruptcy. It’s reasonable to assume that these donations can shape our social landscape by determining the availability of women’s shelters, grants for students, subsidized summer camps, sports programs, and more. Establishing the goal of maximizing donations and their distribution to all communities is desirable, and for this reason we should examine both who is donating all this money and where the money typically ends up.

The combined effort of all corporations contributed to an estimated $2.8 billion, or 25 per cent, of total donations. These funds are primarily filtered into social services (19 per cent) and health (17 per cent) orientated charities, like Big

Brothers or the BC Cancer Foundation. Meanwhile, the $8.4 billion donated by individual Canadians primarily goes to religious organizations (46 per cent) such as the Salvation Army.

There exists a program in Canada called Imagine Canada’s Caring Company, where corporations can agree to donate at least 1 per cent of their pre-tax domestic profits to the cause of their choice. Billion dollar companies such as Rogers can contribute more than$ 10 million a year under this program. Most corporations do not donate according to this ideal and are currently shy by an estimated average of 0.3 per cent. This lack of participation in the program hurts the goal to maximize funding for charities. On top of that, 84 per cent of donations made by corporations are made to the 7 per cent of charitable organizations that reported annual revenues of more than $1 million. This means that any smaller charity would have to rely on individuals to get their cause off the ground. This is counteractive to the goal of widely distributing donations to all communities.

Understanding why a corporation donates to a particular charity seems reasonable when there are direct gains. More than half of the corporate donations come from two industries: finance and insurance, and manufacturing. Insurance companies would benefit the most from more social services and health organizations. Both the donor and the recipient benefit from this relationship. If there are more social programs,

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Caboose F e at u r e d F i c t i o n

Kayla Van Egdom

The Pleasure Seekers

T

unmarked skin. Sterling had guessed right; the woman exposed another four tattoos higher up on her thighs.

The redhead looked over at the immensely self-assured woman beside her. She followed Sterling’s gaze down to the numerous tattoos.

The ten-tattooed woman caught Sterling’s redhead looking. Her full lips curved into a smirk.

Flipping blonde curls that were falling to her waist, the woman spoke over the music: “Don’t worry. You’ll catch up one day.” The haughty, inflection in her voice seemed to indicate the opposite. Sterling had worked in the Population Control Sector long enough to know that this

// Tiare Jung belief couldn’t be further from reality.

The tattoo artist who would be working on Sterling’s woman held out his hand. “SIDs, please.”

Sterling withdrew his Sexual Identification card – he’d recently been updated from bronze to silver, the result of reaching 150,000 points in The Hall. He had a long road ahead of him before he upgraded; a gold card required 500,000 points.

The most sought-after card inside the Pleasure Dome, platinum, required one million points.

Only three people inside the Pleasure Dome held platinum cards, and they’d been part of the Pleasure Dome since its opening in 2020.

The redheaded woman also pulled out her Sexual Identification card – no silver or bronze on hers. Instead, every woman selected a colour and would keep the coloured card for the entirety of their time in the Pleasure Dome. As the redhead passed her lime green card to the tattoo artist, Sterling caught a quick glimpse of her name.

Justine. At least now when they parted ways, he’d be able to address her properly.

The tattoo artist took both cards to the ID scanner and touch screen monitor. After angling the monitor away from Sterling and Justine, he began pressing on the touch screen with nimble, practiced fingers. A few seconds later, he swiped Justine’s card. Another few touches on the screen and then he swiped Sterling’s card.

Sterling had worked as a tattoo artist during his first six months in the Pleasure Dome, so he knew exactly how the technology worked – Justine’s depreciation in value would be recorded, the updated data sent to the applicable personnel within the Population Control sector and the points he received from Justine would be sent to administrators within The Hall.

Justine chose a thin script lettering matching the other three tattoos on her body. The artist put the ‘S’ stencil into place and reloaded the tattoo gun with a clean needle and more ink. The music pulsating in the playground masked the hum of the tattoo gun as it went to work. Justine didn’t even flinch as the ink-filled needle ate away at the top layer of flesh.

The artist finished with the ‘S’ quickly and gently blotted the excess ink and blood with a tissue paper. The ‘N’ took even less time.

The girl next to Justine finished receiving her eleventh tattoo at almost the same time. She barely gave Curtis a good-bye wave before she sauntered back towards the dance floor with a suggestive sway of her hips, the gauzy material of the skirt flouncing with every step. Justine was still new enough to the Pleasure Dome to remain polite; she smiled and gave Sterling a brief hug before following the other woman’s trail back to the dance floor. Such was the case for most of the women on the island – with every man they slept with, with every new tattoo they received, they became more confident and felt more like Delilah. By the time they got their twentieth tattoo, many of them were just this side of insufferable.

Sterling continued watching Justine’s shoulders until she was sucked into the vacuum of thrusting and fucking and dancing. He wondered how long it would take the sweet-natured woman to get her last sixteen tattoos, how long before that sweet temperament gave way to sheer arrogance, how long before she lost all value and disappeared from the Pleasure Dome playgrounds.

A familiar twinge of something akin to guilt hit him low in the stomach. The little twinges had started hitting him on a regular basis ever since he started his new job within the Population Control Sector and discovered what happened to women after tattoo number twenty.

He reached into his pocket and touched the reassuring, sleek surface of his silver SID card. If he kept up his pace, he’d have his gold card in no time. By then, he wouldn’t even remember Justine.

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 5

Earlier that night, Sterling had pushed up the redheaded woman’s skirt to reveal a mere three // Writer tattoos. Only three tattoos ... eighty-five points “One’s got to play the game. After all, every one be- already, and the night was still young. longs to every one else.” – Brave New World Sterling had first entered the Pleasure Dome three years ago and was already moving into some of the most powerful channels of the injuly, 2042 dustry. He had the most points of anyone in his service-length class, and he already had more hirty silver stools spanned the back of points than many of the men who’d been part every Pleasure Dome Playground. While of the Pleasure Dome for more than five years. each of the twenty-five playgrounds had He was no longer the introverted, undersexed, been designed with a particular, distinguishing socially awkward man he’d been before the theme in mind, these tattooing stations were Pleasure Dome. identical. The silver-tiled floors gleamed, a stark contrast to the jet black counters. On the counters were the necessary tattoo guns, stencils, inks, and sterilization tools. There was also a touch screen monitor with a connected ID scanner. The counters attached to the backless, adjustable stools.

Sterling was spending this night at the Mermaid Grotto playground, the newest and most technologically advanced of them all. Tonight, the playground was filled to maximum capacity. Fortunately, Sterling had been able to skip the line-up, which extended 200 feet past the tank of majestic great white sharks; a high rank within The Hall gave him a number of privileges.

Although there were half a dozen guards keeping the club at its recommended capacity, it had still taken Sterling half an hour to find an unoccupied section of aquarium tank glass to push the pretty redheaded woman up against. Colourful fish glided close to the glass, accustomed to the writhing bodies against the surface of their tank. Sterling tugged the woman’s legs apart and propped her up with the pressure of his body.

Quickly peeling away the layers of clothing on their lower bodies, Sterling thrust his hips forwards. Automatically, his thrusts fell into sync with the rapid, screechy pulse of the electronic song filling the mermaid grotto. He couldn’t help noticing the couple next to him. They’d found the same rhythm, though their position was different – the man had pushed the woman’s front against the aquarium and penetrated her from behind, his fist filled with her dark curls, her head yanked backwards to reveal a slender, tanningbed-brown throat.

Once Sterling and his conquest finished, the two of them waited in a queue for the next available tattoo artist, a line-up long enough to rival a checkout counter of a popular department store on the day before Christmas.

One of Sterling’s closest friends on the island, Curtis, stood in the line-up right behind Sterling.

After exchanging greetings with the shorter, spectacled man, Sterling turned his attention to the woman at Curtis’s side.

She was dressed appropriately for a night at the Mermaid Grotto, clad in a coral-pink halter top coupled with a turquoise skirt. The skirt ended above her knees, flared out to resemble Two tattoo artists next to each other finished a mermaid’s fin and slit down the middle to re- almost simultaneously at the far end of the row. veal some of the tattoos she’d received on pre- The redheaded woman hopped onto one of the vious nights at the playgrounds. Sterling’s gaze stools and struggled with the sheer, delicate mafollowed the tattoos running up the inside of her terial of her skirt, trying to pull it up without tearthighs until the slit ended, giving her the slight- ing it. Curtis’s woman didn’t hop onto the stool est touch of modesty. Sterling counted six tattoos, like the redhead; she adjusted the seat so she three on each thigh, before the skirt hindered his could lower herself onto it gracefully, the action ability to continue counting. She probably had appearing practiced and intentionally queenanother two or four hidden inside her outfit, and like. She easily tugged her own skirt out of the couldn’t be worth more than fifty-five points. way, granting the tattoo artist easy access to her By

Edi tor // KEvin Murray // c abo o s e . c apc o uri e r@ gmai l . c o m

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C a b oose

Magic Horse Apostrophes

n u g t Sho Reviews!

Pegasus Natasha Prakash

My Little Pony Katherine Alpen

Seabiscuit Lindsay Flynn

Unicorn Colin Spensley

Pegasus, oh Pegasus: thanks to Disney, everyone thinks you’re BFFs with Hercules. But really, you're not – you probably don't even know who he is, since you're Greek and he's Roman. The movie makes it seem like you’re a loyal bestie 4 lyfe and that, when you were little, you were the fattest little horse. Actually, I haven’t seen the movie, only pictures, but I do know my Greek mythology – so be ready to have your childhood destroyed. Here's your history lesson, kids. Pegasus' mom is Medusa, you know, that lady with the snake hair? His father is Poseidon, god of the sea, and how those two created a horse I have no clue. Anyways, Poseidon raped Medusa (who was apparently one of the hottest of the goddesses) in Athena's temple. Well, Athena got pissed and punished Medusa and let Poseidon off the hook. Athena turned Medusa into this hideous monster and that's how Medusa’s former beautiful hair turned into snakes. After this, another guy named Perseus killed Medusa and gave the head to Athena as a gift. It's from her dead body, which foams and is obviously magical, that this flying horse Pegasus is created. BOOM!

Dear My Little Pony/Hasbro Advertising Department: first of all, fuck you and your jingles. My generation and those to come are forever scarred by your awful, catchy tunes. No one can hear “My Little Pony” without singing the song that used to accompany your commercials, which, by the way, looked like Barney swallowed the toy department at Zellers and then threw up. Second of all, fuck you for giving horse-obsessed girls their first intro to the world of giant plastic hairbrushes. You are the reason why every Loonie store in existence has a shelf solely devoted to horse calendars, and why, when I walk my dog in North Van, she winds up eating dried horse poop. However, it does make me smile to imagine a three year old seeing her first real horse and throwing a huge tantrum when it isn’t pink with rainbow hair, and it doesn’t have a huge butterfly just chillin’ on its rump. But seriously Hasbro, you need to stop making Transformer movies.

It’s over. Move on. Don’t stop making Nerf guns, though! Those things are freakin’ awesome.

Oh, Seabiscuit! From a humble beginning as an ornery stallion, you rose as the symbol of a nation during the great depression. With Red Pollard as your jockey, you raced against the mighty steed War Admiral, winning the Oregon Coast Doughnut Cup in 1937. Soon after, your ambitions took you to the summit of Mount Everest, where you became the first horse to ascend that great, icy peak. Oh, how the sleet chafed your gentle hooves! In 1938, you ventured to Hitler's Germany with Neville Chamberlain in a valiant attempt to negotiate peace for the Allies. But it was not all glory for you: swept aside by the media during WWII, you plummeted into depression; life was meaningless outside the glitz of the spotlight. Trotting past the glue factory, you considered packing it in more than once. But no!

Quitting's not for THIS horse! May 1943 saw you emerge the star and sweetheart of the Mexican Ice Capades. Beloved by the public once again, you were finally immortalized in poetry, sculpture, and film. Stars such as Jack Nicholson and Uma Thurman rushed to portray your later days as a devout Jesuit Monk on the silver screen, just like in that movie, Seabiscuit.

Ever wonder why goblins and evil wizards were always trying to catch the ever elusive unicorn?

Sure, they’re “pretty” and “magic”, but once you capture one, what can you really do besides play ring toss with it? Well, here are some ideas: I heard from a reliable source that unicorn horns cure stomachaches and can kill scorpions. Neat!

But do you wanna party like Voldemort and all those evil warlocks? Then the only real way to get down is to take that unicorn horn and hollow it out. Next, you attach some rubber tube to it. Next, find a giant, a Balrog, or a mountain troll, and get him to stand on a chair. Fetch the nearest bar wench and order up a heady brew of her finest ale. Fill the horn with that ale, add a pinch of dwarf beard-hair, and shotgun that shit. Now let those black magic spells fly! Turn that dude hitting on your girlfriend into a tree stump and make out with her on top of it. BOOM!

! d or w s FashionCros

With Marco Ferreira

ossword Bring the completed crNoon on Tuesday to the story meeting at to win a prize!

The Hot Chart Christy Clarks' Cleavage Premier offers ample bosoms to suckling children of B.C. as part of Family First agenda Maroon 5 Mediocre number, bad colour, worse band

the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 5

Toasted Oat O's As delicious to say as they are to eat The Autumn Harvest Not nearly as awesome as reaping souls Steve Job tattoos Google it Bill Gates tattoos Fewer results, think differently 50/50 He dies in the end, just like in Dolphin Tale The Simpsons saved for another season!

Right to die groups say debilitating Simpson Jaundice is like living inside a boiling blood volcano Apple syncs Steve Jobs death with new iPhone 4S The 4 Ss: Spirit, Steve, and sympathy sales Happy Thanks Givin'er losers!

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