“Pushing buttons since 1968�
Volume 45
N O R T H V A N C O U V E R / / M arch 5 , 2 0 1 2
Hard times with Taxes // Bill Murray // Teachers // and so much more ...
Issue N o. 19
TABle of contents Vol. Forty-Five | Issue 19
Pushing buttons since 1968
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Watch out, the po’ are on Facebook. Is nothing sacred anymore?
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We still love the Muppets editor-in-chief
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The time JJ dated some little twerp who took him for granted! Grr! a rt s e d i t o r
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Jason Jeon Jason Jeon is an ultimate food lover with a bottomless stomach. Jason spends most of his free time pulling his hair out in front of his soon-tobe-finished painting at the Studio Art building, or taking some quality mud massage sessions in front of potter’s wheel. Check his artwork at jasonjjeon.blogspot.com
Retraction In Vol 45, Issue 17 (Valentine's Issue, Feb 13), an illustration on Page 17 was credited to Lydia Fu but was actually drawn by Jason Jeon. Sorry, Jason!
er t t e L y r g An ek of the We Regards: Equal Access, Equal Rights (article by Sarah Vitet (29 February 2012)) Letter to the Editor (Capilano Courier), Sarah Vitet and the Capilano Courier editor would be outraged, if the most common elective surgery performed on British Columbian women has ZERO published nonhuman animal studies to validate its safety. When Sarah Vitet wrote her 29 Feb. 2012 article, she was 100% unaware that 'suction' (i.e. vacuum aspiration) abortion has zero published animal studies to validate its safety: URL: http://www.jpands.org/vol13no4/rooney.pdf . If Sarah Vitet can correctly cite such an animal study, she wins a $20,100 prize; for contest details, visit: http://justiceforkids.webs. com/ch1020100contest.htm Why Sarah and others want to support quack medical treatments is hard to fathom. Cordially, Brent Rooney
Dear Brent, While I appreciate your letter, I cannot give you a proper response as I do not fully understand your concern. My article was regarding abortion access in Canada, and I do not at any point discuss published studies (human or nonhuman) validating the safety of vacuum aspiration, as that was not my topic. I will mention that regardless of past studies, abortion is one of the safest medical procedures performed, with only .5 per cent of all legal abortions resulting in serious complications, thus not a “quack procedure” in any way. I did a brief amount of research into vacuum aspiration, but as with any medical procedure, it required learning a lot of terminology and understanding more about the technicalities of surgical procedures than I had the energy to learn at this point in time. Though the $20,100 prize is a thoughtful incentive, unfortunately you have contacted the wrong person. I am, alas, only a journalist, not a medical researcher. Thanks anyway, —Sarah Vitet
from the editor //
Smoke and Mirrors “There is nothing more pleasurable to a political animal than causing pain to an opponent. Politicians would forgo heaven for their friends, on guarantee they could send their enemies to hell.” —Rex Murphy
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Canadian politics have been anything but quiet as of late. On top of robocalls, Bob Rae announced that it had been a Liberal staffer behind the “Vikileaks” Twitter account. Although Rae also apologized on behalf of the staffer and of the Liberals, the Conservatives have resurfaced the issue, alleging that the Liberals have hung their staff member “out to dry” and are “sitting on a lot of details.” They’ve threatened to take further action if the Liberals do not share the details that they are allegedly withholding. Rae has correctly accused the Conservatives of using Vikileaks to distract public attention away from the election scandal. Let me be clear: there is absolutely no similarity between Vikileaks and the robocalls. One was done to make a point, although it arguably could have been handled more professionally. There is nothing illegal about the Twitter feed – it was reporting information that was available in public court documents. The only line it may have crossed is if the tweets were sent from a House of Commons computer, as the House’s computers are not allowed to be used for harassment. However, the robocalls are election fraud, and thus, illegal. Politicians need to be held responsible for their actions, just like everyone else. They should not have any special privilege that means they can commit illegal acts and escape with a mere slap on the wrist. They are Canadian citizens, and should be held accountable to the fullest extent of the law – after all, as politicians, they are not gifted amnesty. The robocalls affected peoples’ ability to vote, and no one should be be allowed to take away that most fundamental right that is the basis of democracy. Regardless of the outcome, this event is going to forever change the Canadian political landscape. Politics are integral to the way we live in Canada. Certainly, they can be trying at times, but that is no reason to ignore them altogether. We are able to celebrate someone being punished for destroying physical property, but yet are only mildly irritated by the robocalls. This can’t be reduced to dirty politics – what has happened has polluted the waters of our democracy. As Rick Mercer aptly pointed out, “We have always agreed that voting is a fundamental right. This is not a left or a right thing, this is just a thing. If we don’t believe in that, what else do we have to believe in?” We can’t wait around while people point fingers, or whilst the Conservatives try to distract us with other, unrelated issues. Democracy has been tampered with, and those responsible need to be tried as citizens of Canada, not as politicians with special privileges. It is the only fair way to move forward.
// Samantha Thompson
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hen it was announced that the first conviction had been doled out to a culprit of the Stanley Cup riots, people rejoiced. “Finally,” they said, “justice is served.” Yet when the story broke early last week suggesting that the last federal election had been littered with fraud, it was labelled as “typical dirty politics” instead of what it actually was – illegal. “This is simply a smear campaign, with no basis at all,” said Prime Minister Stephen Harper in the House of Commons on Feb. 29. He was referring to the accusation against the Conservative party stating that they were responsible for a series of “robocalls” during the last Federal election. The phone calls were made to potential voters at ungodly hours of the night, asking if the residents would be voting for the Liberal or NDP candidate in that riding. In some circumstances, the caller impersonated Elections Canada and told the would-be voter that their polling station had been moved. The Conservatives began arguing that the whole situation was naught but a smear campaign hosted by a bunch of “sore losers”. They suggested that there was not enough evidence to support these claims – while voters from at least 38 ridings were simultaneously calling to say they were victims of these robocalls. On March 1, they stopped trying to deflect questions and instead began trying to put the blame on the Liberal party. The Conservatives claimed that the Liberals had been using a phone company in North Dakota to make these calls, but the NDP was quick to point out that there were two companies, the other one in Canada, who were unrelated but had similar names. The Conservatives had gotten their facts wrong. Liberal MP Frank Vaeriote told CBC that “it is ridiculous to think that Liberals would try and suppress their own voters from coming out to vote.” The robocall issue is going to be on the table for a while, particularly as Elections Canada decides how much they are going to investigate. In the meantime, nearly 40,000 Canadians have signed an online petition demanding that a full public inquiry is conducted. Although many MPs have also expressed their anger and frustration regarding various facets of the scandal, we still don’t know precisely what happened. People are angry, and with just cause. Regardless of what Harper may argue in Parliament, there are thousands of Canadians who are reporting that they received misleading phone calls during election time. Something is going on, but the only way we’re going to find out is if the authorities take charge. Instead of initiating a rapid inquiry, as Rex Murphy pointed out on CBC’s The National, “Mr. Harper is wear- — Samantha Thompson // editor-in-chief ing his injured, angry face.”
The Voicebox
with JJ Brewis Look for the Voicebox on Tuesday afternoons in the Birch cafeteria, to anonymously “voice” your “opinion” on any “topic.” Introverted alternatives include emailing your opinion to voicebox@capilanocourier.com, or texting (778) 886-5070. “What time do you think kids should learn the truth?” This is a great question. I really love it. The truth! The truth? About? I think kids should learn the truth about the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus by the time they’re in Grade 11. They should learn the truth about the Canadian Government by age 4. The truth about crop circles, Agent Sculder, and UFOs by the time they bang for the first time. They should learn the truth about cats and dogs by the time they realize Jay-Z isn’t Jay-Z’s real first name. “Tell us about your first kiss.” You sure you wanna hear this one, boys and girls? Alright, let’s do this. Well, I was (gasp) 19. I had just moved to Vancouver, and the first date I went on was with a self-proclaimed ‘rice queen’ named (no joke) Bryce (it rhymes with… nevermind). I was the first white guy he had been with
since before his balls dropped, but I wasn’t too alarmed. Half way through our date (which happened to be at The Naam, my little vegetarian heart all full, just like my little vegetarian stomach), he looked at me and said “so… are you half Japanese?” To be fair, I also get asked if I’m related to Taylor Lautner, if I’m from Hawaii, and why I dress so gangster for a white guy (it’s called Wigger, and I’m not alone in this craze, people). Where was I going with this? So he takes me down to this beach and we are just loungin’ there on these mad uncomfortable rocks and he goes in for the kill. I didn’t like it. It felt like a big wet moldy snake entering my mouth, and it was pretty repulsive. He legitimately followed this scant make-out by asking if I wanted to grab bubble tea. What part about “white” he didn’t understand I’m not sure. I was wearing a Bon Iver t-shirt and everything! And it was before Bon Iver was a band, and just a guy who lived in the wilderness. “I’m hungry.” So am I, but don’t you dare give your money to those pig-dogs at Aramark. I was there last week and this lady charged me $17 for a granola bar and a glass of red wine. That’s a fucking ripoff! Bring your own food to campus! Take back the world! Get into it! Bailamos!
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EDIT OR // Gurpreet Kambo // ne w s @ c api l ano c o uri e r. c o m
DON’T ACCEPT THAT FRIEND REQUEST Law enforcement shares its plan to monitor social networking sites By Lindsay Howe // writer
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ccording to Facebook, the website had 845 million monthly active users at the end of December 2011. Combine that number with the 425 million Facebook mobile users and the fact that Facebook is available in 70 different languages worldwide, and you have a mega social networking giant. While changes in Facebook’s privacy policy have stirred up controversy in the past, it was a recent announcement from law enforcement agencies that included new plans to monitor Internet usage in Canada and the U.S. that caused much discussion and controversy among citizens of both countries. Although intentions of the Canadian government differ from those of the United States, the hot topic of Internet privacy is now pushing buttons throughout North America. Although the National Press Office of the FBI declined to answering questions regarding this announcement, documents posted online indicate that the FBI hopes build an application that will monitor social networking websites to “provide enhanced real-time situational awareness regarding any open-source breaking event, crisis, activity, or natural disaster that has occurred or in progress in the US or globally”. The FBI also notes that they will not be monitoring these sites to target groups or specific people, but rather to search for words relating to an event or crisis such as “lockdown”, “bomb”, “suspicious package”, or “white powder”. The documents emphasized the words “publicly available, open source, non-private data” while explaining what type of information the FBI is interested in getting its hands on, indicating an awareness that privacy activists would be concerned of the implications.
Open source data in the social media context refers to the personal information you post with the knowledge that anyone can view it; for instance, allowing your name to be searchable through the Facebook search engine. However, despite the FBI’s reassurances, Jennifer Lynch of the Electronic Frontier Foundation explained to the News Scientist that it may not be enough: “Many people post to social media in the expectation that only their friends and followers are reading, which gives them the sense of freedom to say what they want without worrying too much about recourse, but these tools that mine open source data and presumably store it for a very long time, do away with that kind of privacy. I worry about the effect of that on free speech in the U.S.” Concerns about citizen’s online activities aren’t just restricted to the United States, however. Recently, the Canadian government, led by the Conservative party, tabled legislation which has aroused similar concerns about invasion of privacy. The bill, entitled C-30, would require companies with an Internet presence to store information about users for the police to access. Ivor Tossel, tech columnist for the Globe and Mail, writes, “Contrary to what you might have heard, the new bill, C-30, doesn’t invite police to monitor your every online move without a warrant. It does, however, require Internet companies – loosely defined – to cough up your name, Internet protocol address and a few other identifiers if the police ask for them, even without a warrant. This means that the police could conceivably collect a pseudonym you’ve been using to comment on websites, present it to the relevant company, and say, ‘Who is this person?’” “By trading pseudonyms for IP addresses, then IP addresses for real names and addresses, and repeating the process, police could get a pretty
// Jason Jeon clear picture of what you’ve been up to online. (The list of exactly which identifiers police can present to Internet service providers in exchange for information has yet to be nailed down),” he concludes. Public Safety Minister Vic Toews has publicly endorsed the bill, stating, “Over the years, it became clear to me that Canada’s laws were falling far behind the technology used by criminals.” Toews’ public endorsement caused serious backlash on social networking sites with public disagreement. Not only were personal threats made against Toews and his family, but a Twitter account under the username “Vikileaks” was created, publicizing all of the messy details of Toew’s divorce. Others took to the website www.stopspying.com to sign the petition against this new bill, which is currently at over 115,000 signatures.
Despite the efforts of these government officials to banish misinformation about the new powers this bill would bring, Canadian residents continue to be reluctant of a bill diminishing any kind of personal rights. In a poll conducted by Angus Reid published on Feb. 24 of this year, Canadians voiced their opinions regarding this new bill. The online survey that consisted of a representative sample of 1,011 Canadians showed that 53 per cent of us believe Bill C-30 is too intrusive, and only a mere 27 per cent of us believe the new bill is necessary because “criminal activity has evolved with technology and police need broader tools to deal with these crimes.” However, due to the backlash against the bill, the Conservative government has taken the bill off of the fast track to official legislation status by sending it to committee, a procedure where MPs are able to make major amendments to proposed legislation. “The government is open to having a thorough study of this at committee to make sure the bill gets done the right way [and] so that we do make those changes that will protect more people while at the same time not intruding on anyone’s privacy,” explains Andrew McDougall, a staff member in the Prime Minister’s Office. With technology becoming vital in people’s lives more recently, this is the first major piece of legislation in Canada that has attempted to monitor Internet usage. In the United States, the recently defeated SOPA and PIPA, attempts to curb copyright infringement online, raised widespread protests, including from major websites such as Google and Wikipedia. The Internet has given Canadians access to more information and freedom of expression than any other form of technology has in the past, but it is important to remember that new technology has a tendency to coexist with new problems.
When the court is in your bedroom BDSM sexual practices continue to hover in a legal grey area By Julia Hunter
the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 19
// The Martlet (University of Victoria)
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ICTORIA (CUP) – “Consent is a critical tool in Western legal traditions,” says the University of Victoria’s Dr. Maneesha Deckha in her article “Pain, Pleasure and Consenting Women”. However, BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadomasochism) sexual practices hover in a legal grey area where the law states that people cannot consent to physical harm unless it’s in the context of “socially useful activities.” Acceptable activities have been recognized by Canadian common law, such as sporting activities, body piercings and tattoos, surgical interventions, and stunts. BDSM sexual practices, in the eyes of the Canadian Court, do not fit the bill. Pat Califia, gender outlaw, sexual anarchist, and revered LGBTQ writer and activist, writes that it’s hard to talk about sadomasochism in feminist terms, because some of the slang S/M people use to talk about their sexuality is characterized by words like “roles”, “masochism”,
“bondage”, “dominance”, and “submission”. In an anti-S/M feminist context, these meanings differ greatly from their significance to S/M folks. Califia also argues that the mass media, clinical psychology, and the anti-pornography movement have sullied the term “sadomasochism” and that minority sexual behavior has been distorted throughout time. Because the media usually depicts BDSM as violent or dangerous, people without a lot of exposure to kink may not think there is much difference between rape culture and bondage enthusiasts. The 1987 British Spanner trials, for example, convicted a group of gay men for assault occasioning bodily harm for their involvement with S/M practices. The courts ruled that consent was not a valid defense. Dr. Georgia Sitara, sessional lecturer in the women’s studies and history departments at UVic, states that the law, in the case of the British Spanner trials, ignored some of the key elements of S/M, like safe words, that ensure the safety of participants. “In the case of the law,” Sitara affirms, “consent is immaterial and irrelevant.”
With particular regard to BDSM practices, the state can take the position that it is in its mandate to protect citizens from bodily harm, and inflicting bodily harm is illegal. Sitara also advances the argument of Ummni Khan, who worked on the Bedford case in Ontario, where police raided an S/M dungeon in residential Toronto. Khan suggests that the state has monopoly on humiliation and degradation. “The police were very brutal with the women,” Khan explains. “The women were strip searched, and the police demanded demonstrations.” Sitara also suggests that there is a heterosexual privileging that occurs within the courts and that sentencing is often harder on queer S/M practitioners; the Spanner Trials of the UK are a reflection of this. Where men in play parties who practiced S/M in the privacy of their own homes were sent to trial after a homemade video fell into the wrong hands, the dominants were charged with assault, and according to scholar Chris White, the men who participated as submissives were convicted of aiding and abetting assaults upon themselves. On the other hand,
the court of appeal argued during another case that a married heterosexual couple in which the husband branded his initials onto his wife’s buttocks, with her consent, was not a matter of criminal prosecution. Califia argues that BDSM is not a form of sexual assault but a consensual activity that involves polarized roles and intense sensations. A scene is always preceded by a negotiation between the participants – who will play which roles, what activities are likely to occur or not occur, and how long the scenes will last. According to Califia, the key word to understanding BDSM is fantasy. It is a theatre in which sexual dramas can be acted out and appreciated. Good BDSM requires the same qualities as every other good relationship – trust, honesty, safety, risk-taking, creativity, personal growth, mutual respect, and affection. Pain and pleasure are both subjective experiences and depending on the context it may frighten you, anger you, urge you on, or get you hot. The key thing that BDSM practitioners wish to emphasize is that they are the ones in control.
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News Briefs
Reading but not Understanding New study indicates that reading comprehension is a university problem, too By Piper Whelan // The Gateway (University of Alberta)
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DMONTON (CUP) – Many students are familiar with the phenomenon of doing their readings for class and not being able to remember a single thing after. A University of Alberta researcher may be able to tell you why, despite your best efforts at studying, this happens to you. George Georgiou, director of the University of Alberta’s Reading Research Lab, has identified cognitive development issues that cause some students to struggle with reading comprehension – though their actual ability to read may be perfectly fine. By studying a sample of roughly 500 U of A students, Georgiou found that a small percentage had an undetected reading difficulty known as a specific reading comprehension deficit. This deficit occurs when working memory doesn’t allow for full comprehension of a text, even if a student can easily read it. “These students do not have a problem reading accurately and fluently. The problem is how to understand what they are reading,” Georgiou says. Georgiou began the study in 2011 to see if the estimated rate of three to five per cent who deal with this reading comprehension deficit could be found in a sample of university students. The other goal of the study was to identify the causes of this reading difficulty. Georgiou notes that when it comes to research on reading difficulties, experts tend to focus on the early years of education: “We know much more about reading difficulties in younger children, and not as much about reading difficulties in older students.” After receiving a Cornerstone Grant
from the Killam Research Fund, which supports innovations that advance scholarship, Georgiou and colleague J.P. Das tested students in large classes on two adult-appropriate reading comprehension tasks. They contacted the students who showed signs of a reading comprehension difficulty to come in to the Reading Research Lab for further testing on other areas of reading ability, before focusing on comprehension. About three to five per cent of the total sample of students showed signs of this specific reading comprehension deficit, matching up with the rate going into the study. The cause of this deficit, Georgiou says, lies in cognitive development. These students lack the working memory to process, store, and understand what they read, particularly if the text is long and contains complex ideas. “We administered measures of working memory, simultaneous and successive processing, planning, and attention,” Georgiou explains. “Out of all these measures, working memory stands out as a very important factor.” The reason this deficit often goes undetected is that strategies to identify reading difficulties prior to post-secondary education deal mostly with areas of reading ability, rather than comprehension. The study is ongoing, and the next step is to help the students in the study deal with their reading comprehension difficulty through a number of simple strategies: “There are no easy solutions, but there are some steps we can take to help them improve their reading comprehension,” Georgiou says. “You will see that when some of these students were completing these comprehension tasks, they would highlight the whole text, which is a very poor strategy.”
CSU Disability Petition
// Jason Jeon Georgiou suggests tackling the text paragraph by paragraph, finding the main ideas before moving on to the next, and making connections between paragraphs. Creating a concept map of the text’s main themes and making summarizing notes in the margins are also useful strategies for working to understand what you’re reading.
#GuiltyorInnocent UBC law students use Twitter to argue legal appeal By Victoria Fawkes // Staff writer
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tion. Based in Vancouver, West Coast Environmental Law claims they “believe in a just and sustainable society where citizens are empowered to protect the environment and environmental protection is enshrined in law.” The appeal that was argued was West Moberly First Nations v. British Columbia. This moot discussed issues related to the well-being of an endangered caribou herd that is currently being threatened by coal mining and ongoing industrial development in the area. Stewart and Kalkman represented the Province of Alberta. They argued that the First Nation’s right to hunt should not be extended in order to protect the threatened herd of the caribou, and that the West Moberly may hunt wherever they please, according to Treaty rules. It’s not just UBC that was involved in the Twitter Moot: law students Stewart and Kalkman did battle with law teams from the Universities of Victoria, Dalhousie, Ottawa, and York. The moot ended on the same day it began, with team #Osgoode (York University) departing Twitter as the victorious party. By using the hashtag “#twtmoot”, or following the @Twtmoot Twitter account, anyone who is interested can keep abreast of any future events or updates from the group.
For more information, or to sign the petition, visit www.csu.bc.ca/abilities
UBC Student Union announces plans for Micro-brewery New polls state that a record number of UBC students have noticed they have something called a “student union”, due to the announcement of a micro-brewery they are planning to open in 2014. The UBC Alma Mater Society (AMS) made headlines across North America with the announcement, which is the “first student-owned brewery in the world,” according to AMS past-President Jeremy McElroy. The brewery, which will be housed in the AMS’s $103 million student union building when it’s built in 2014, aims to provide cheap beer to UBC students, and to bring in a modest profit to the AMS.
By Gurpreet Kambo // News Editor
the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 19
he average tweet usually includes references to foods consumed, maladies, or countdowns to important dates. They are not, however, outlets in which the fate of a potential criminal can be argued. Not usually, anyways; but at the University of British Columbia’s Faculty of Law, students hope to change the way the goings-on of trials typically run with a revolutionary event. Two University of British Columbia students in the Faculty of Law, Hamish Stewart and Matthew Kalkman, spent countless hours preparing themselves and their written legal arguments before the event for something the world has never seen before: a Twitter moot. Using Twitter, UBC’s Faculty of Law students were the first aspiring lawyers in history to take part in a simulated legal battle via Twitter, available for the whole world to see. On Feb. 21 at 10am PST, the Twitter moot happened, and made history as the first mock-court appeal to be argued over Twitter, everyone’s favorite social media network that allows you to express their innermost thoughts in 140 words or less. By using the popular social media platform, the UBC Law students hope they will push the
limits of the way legal cases can be argued in the future, as the world continually develops new ways to communicate. “This is a great opportunity for legal professionals to explore how the law can engage with new technology,” says Stewart, explaining why he believes the event is an important experience for UBC Law students. “In particular, this is a great opportunity to explore important issues in environmental law and to ensure that environmental law continues to lead the profession on social media.” The Twitter moot was presided over by a panel of three judges, William Deverell, Omar HaRedeye, and Kathleen Mahoney, and was organized by West Coast Environmental Law. Kalkman hopes his and other student’s participation has helped to show support for the Canadian Law firm. “I believe that this is not only a chance to make legal and social media history, but is also a positive idea that can help increase awareness of environmental issues and the great work of West Coast Environmental Law using social media,” says Kalkman. The law firm of Miller Thomson, a law firm that spans across Canada, sponsored the UBC team, providing additional support. West Coast Environmental Law is a non-profit environmental law and public interest organiza-
The Students with Disabilities Committee (SWD) of the CSU is running an ongoing petition campaign that calls for greater government support for people in B.C. who are living with disabilities. Currently, B.C. residents on disability income receive allowances of $375 for rent, and $531 for other living expenses. Additionally, they may only earn up to $500 of other income without deduction from their support allowance. However, this amount is not enough for many of those dealing with disabilities, especially those who are unable to work. “One of the people in my committee said, ‘We’re not being looked after as well as we could be’, which is how this got started,” says Shaun Stewart, the coordinator of the SWD committee. The petition, which currently has 96 signatures online, states, “Due to the rising cost of living in B.C. … we strongly support minimum increases of $100 for shelter allowances; $150 for support allowances; and $100 for the amount people with disabilities are able to earn without deduction to their benefits.” “People with disabilities aren’t getting what they need to survive. … It’s not the easiest thing to live off the amount the government gives you,” says Stewart. “You can’t get a place with the amount of money the government gives you.” “You can’t really be healthy if you don’t have a place to lay your head at night” he says.
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m o n day m a r c h 5 BAD PUN MONDAY You could refer to this as “Punday”! Boy, if I were an ice cube, I'd refer to this day as “cool”! If I were a mathematical equation, such as addition, I'd say that puns were “awesum”! Hey, I'm a dog, I “woof” you! Oh my gosh, you're a cat and you want to leave right “meow”? Wait, “paws” for one second and think about it! Okay, you get the picture (said the camera).
t u e s day march 6 VANCOUVER CANUCKS VS. DALLAS STARS Sports? Sports. Okay. Is is the Stanley Cup yet? I hope it is. 7 PM. Rogers Arena. Cost of Arm/Leg.
GOLDIE'S JAZZ JAM Feel like adding a little “jam” to your peanut butter and toast? Head on down to Goldie's Pizza for a brand-new baby jazz jam, hosted by David Blake on guitar, Brent Mah on saxophones, Wynston Minckler on the bass, and Andrew Millar on drums. Mostly ex-Cap students, these guys are fantastic musicians, and worth checking out even if you just feel like listening! 9 PM – 12 AM. Goldie's Pizza (605 W. Pender St.). By donation! NNEKA WITH GUESTS I have no clue who this girl is but she looks sweet and her name is spelled really cool. Also, she's described as an “Afro-German warrior princess” which is just, like, fuck yeah. Also: comparisons to Lauryn Hill! Check it! 8 PM. The Biltmore Cabaret. $15.
FLUTTER AND SCURRY “Nature stories, crafts, and outdoor exploration help kids discover the intriguing ways that animals get around.” This sounds so fun! There have to be some moms and dads out there who have three-to-five-year-olds that could benefit from this kind of fun event! I wish I got to do stuff like this. 10:30 – 11:30 AM. Lynn Canyon Ecology Centre (3663 Park Rd.). $8.25.
A ROOM IN THE CITY: PHOTOGRAPHS BY GABOR GASZTONYI Totally interesting: Gasztonyr spent five years photographing the inhabitants of hotels in the Downtown Eastside. He'll be talking about his experiences and showing off his cool book that documents it. 7 PM. New Westminster Public Library (716 6th Ave.). Free!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAQUILLE O'NEAL Did you know that Shaquille O'Neal (also known as “Shaq”) is SEVEN feet tall? That's two feet taller than me. That's so insanely tall. Also: he has released four rap albums. Shaq! You've achieved so much! Have a happy birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHAQ.
we d n e s day mar. 7 HUNGER CITY+MIND OF A CHILD Check out two sweet North Van bands! Mind of a Child is Lynn Valley ex-Cap-jazz student rock 'n roll, and Hunger City features the Courier's own Jonty Davies. $5 entry gives you a free drink, live music, and a sweet DJ spinning tunes all night long. 7 PM. The Roxy. $5.
t h u r s day march 8 INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY Don't make sexist jokes. Respect everyone as an equal. Donate to your rape relief women's shelter of choice. Check out a feminist blog and read some articles and really think about what they are talking about. Love yourself! Smash the patriarchy, even if it's only in a small way. Every little bit counts!
THE MUPPET MOVIE I'm so so mad that I can't go to this. The Rio is hosting “Matinee Movies for Kids” and they're showing what is probably the best movie ever made on a Wednesday at 11 AM. What?? I might actually go to this. Sorry Nitecap bros, this is more important than sectional. Omg. Yes. I'm doing that. I'm definitely, definitely going to this. Entrance includes small drink and popcorn! 11 AM. The Rio Theatre. $8. BALLET BC: WALKING MAD AND OTHER WORKS “Johan Inger, formerly Artistic Director of Cullberg Ballet and a member of the Royal Swedish Ballet and Netherlands Dance Theatre … has created a breathtaking work for nine dancers that is set to Ravel’s Bolero and reflects Socrates belief that 'our greatest blessings come to us by way of madness.'” Cool! Runs until Mar. 10. See www.balletbc.com for ticket information.
friday march 9 PORTAGE & MAIN, REDBIRD, TWIN RIVER This show kicks off Portage & Main and Redbird's tour across Canada! Portage & Main feature's Capilano's own Harold Donnelly, the beardiest, most easy-going, plaid-wearing, demure man in the world. You probably know him. Everyone I know knows him! And then when we realize we both know him, we're just like, “Nicest guy ever, right??” 9 PM. The Media Club. $10/12.
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saturday mar . 10
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SOUL 2 SOUL SOULdiers presents the 3rd annual Soul 2 Soul: 4 elements of hip hop workshop. The four elements are breaking, DJing, emceeing and graffitti. There will be special performances and raffle tickets to win a trip to Las Vegas! Check out the facebook page for Soul2Soul for more info. 1 – 4:30 PM. The Russian Hall 600 Campbell Ave. $10.
sunday march 11 BASKETBALL Come play basketball with me and my friends! Emma Postl hosts a fun, sporting afternoon game of “America's Favourite Sport”. I'm very short so you will probably win! It will be fun. I will forget that you need to dribble. Rumour has it someone is bringing a ghetto blaster! 11 AM. Court Near Emma's House (Trinity St.). Free!
LADYSMITH BLACK MAMBAZZO These guys are really cool! I saw them at Folk Fest one year I think; the event page describes their sound as a a marriage of “intricate rhythms and harmonies of their native South African musical traditions” with “the sounds and sentiments of Christian gospel music. The result is a musical and spiritual alchemy that has touched a worldwide audience.” Check it out! 7:30 PM. Vogue Theatre. $38.50/42.50.
HALF-CHINESE RECORD RELEASE PARTY Oh my little heart. I love these guys so, so much. The other day I found birthday cards that Harrison and Enzio made for me and it tugged at my heartstrings because it's been so long since I've seen them play! Featuring Chris-a-Riffic (<3), Ok Vancouver Ok (<3), and the debut of Lunch Lady (“teen grrrl best pal trio” um yes please), this is sure to be a great show. 7 – 11 PM. Art Bank (Victoria and Powell). $5. CHRIS-A-RIFFIC 7” RELEASE Do Not Miss! God, I hope I don't miss this. I will be so mad if other things come up. I honestly don't even remember the last time Chris-a-Riffic released a record and guys, he's so awesome. He has such an amazing ability to fill a room with love and music. Also featuring Loose Tights, KMVP, Aaron Read, and With Flying Colours. 8 – 11 PM. Little Mountain Gallery (1195 E. 26th Ave.). $5.
ACCEPTABLE ADDICTIONS Interesting conversation! “As part of SFU Philosophers' Café, moderators Heesoon Bai and Avraham Cohen explore what the phenomenon of acceptable addictions tells us about human beings and our society.” Neat-o! 7 PM. Waves (900 Howe St.). Free!
Cloud Nothings with Mr. Dream and Slim Fathers Cleveland indie-pop band fronted by adorable man with cute vintage frames. I’m in. The Media Club. Doors 8:00pm, show 9:30pm
THE VANCOUVER RECITAL SOCIETY PROUDLY PRESENTS MURRAY PERAHIA, PIANO The title of the event pretty much says it all! Perahia has been described as having “the soul of a poet, the mind of a thinker,[and] the hands of a virtuoso.” Sounds like it could be a once-ina-lifetime oppurtunity! 8 – 10 PM. The Orpheum Theatre. $35 – $99.
A ROGUE WOMEN IN BEER PAIRING MINGLER This event “celebrates eight charismatic women in B.C. brewing who have each brewed a Women’s Day beer. With tankards of rose hibiscus honey ale, lychee wheat ale, heatherdale ale, powtow porter and more, we challenge you to notice the food.” Beer! Who knew it was so exciting? 7 PM. Rogue Kitchen & Wetbar (601 W. Cordova St.). Cost of beer/food!
WALT STREET DESIGN COMPETITION This sounds crazy! “The top 10 of The Art Institute’s most talented designers will compete to create a garment inspired by a pop culture personality. Teams will create a look that brings together Walt’s timeless stories and today’s most recognizable faces without sewing.” Disney+pop culture+fashion? Sounds like a good combo to me! 8 – 10 PM. Vinyl Retro Lounge (455 Abbott St.). $10.
GO SOFTLY The debut performance of The Big World Band, a group made up of “Vancouver's top musicians specializing in the music of China, India, the Middle East and moorish Europe,” this event features music that “mixes culture into a New World Music that is a mirror of Vancouver in the 21st century.” Sounds like it could be neat! 8 – 10 PM. Christ Church Cathedral (690 Burrard St.). $25/$15 for students.
BLACKOUT BEACH AND APOLLO GHOSTS Aw, why do there have to be two awesome shows on the same night? Just to give you a taste of this awesome, Blackout Beach's latest album is called Fuck Death and Apollo Ghosts is like, The Next Big Thing In Canadian Music according to basically everyone. Check it out! 8 – 11 PM. The Biltmore Cabaret. $7.
DATSIK AND STEVE AOKI I don't really know who either of these people are. According to Sarah Vitet, co-editor-in-chief of the Courier, “It's dubstep. He does dubstep. He used to be good. I don't know, you look up Datsik. Marco, can you desribe Datsik?” “He's like Skrillex but earlier. Steve Aoki is some douchebag DJ. I can't imagine who would go to a Steve Aoki/Datsik concert.” 6:30 PM. PNE Forum. $55.50 – $70.50.
THE CHANGING OF THE SEASONS “Terry Taylor leads a guided walk where you can discover new buds preparing to open, fungi fruiting, and micro-organisms and small invertebrates at work in the soil.” The world is a magical place; do not forget it. 11 AM. Pacific Spirit Regional Park. Free!
IF YOU FLIP THE DATE OF MARCH 11 If you flip the date of March 11 (6/11) upside down, it's the exact opposite of 9/11! So to celebrate the exact opposite of a sad day, today you should have a very happy day. You should do the opposite of mourn. You should call up your best friend and go on a walk, or watch a movie, or bake some cupcakes, or go to the SPCA and pet the cats, or any combination of the above. Day drinking? Maybe, if it's sunny enough outside!
Fe at u r e s
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ED I TO R S / / S ar ah v i te t + Samant ha Thompson // s pe c i al fe ature s . c apc o uri e r@ gmai l . c o m
WHEN VAMPIRES TIME TRAVEL Buffy Season Eight fails to deliver By Marco Ferreira // opinions editor
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ike the Buffy character herself, popular franchises rarely die. The beloved television show Buffy the Vampire Slayer ran for seven seasons from 1997-2003, to garnering a massive fanbase as well as critical acclaim. Four years after the final season aired, there was still enough of a fanbase for series creator Joss Whedon to team up with Dark Horse and continue the long running show, but this time in comic form. Dubbed Season 8, the Buffy comic was originally planned for a 25 issue run which would have been a comic for every episode of a season. Running from 2007 to 2011 the series ballooned into 40 issues before completion. Despite the original writers and Whedon himself producing and writing for the project, it received mixed reception from fans. Art and the medium it's created in, which in this case is Buffy The Vampire Slayer and television, are so integrated. This can lead to problems transitioning from one format to another, and what was at the heart of the original work can easily be lost, as is the case with Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8. Budget Restraints Lifted In theory, the unlimited budget of the comic medium should pair well with the fantasy occult element of the show. However, when the budget restraints were lifted, Whedon and writers went overboard with the fantasy, introducing (and there are some soft spoilers here) multiple alternate dimensions, almost every character from the television series, over-the-top super powers, a space ship and worst of all, time travel. Elements people enjoyed about the show, like how the characters react and change to metaphorical situations of fantasy, were lost. Whedon acknowledges this criticism in an open letter that ran in the final issue of the series. It read “I was so excited to finally have an unlimited budget that I wanted to make the book an epic, but I realized along the way that the things I loved the best were the things you loved the best: the peeps. The down-to-earth, recognizable people … so that’s what we’ll try to evoke next season – along with the usual perils, and a few new ones, of course.” Old Friends
well to action, which is fitting, this being Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Censorship When Buffy the Vampire Slayer was airing, one of the most obvious drawbacks to the television format was the network censorship. An example of this was the lesbian couple who weren't allowed to kiss on camera while their straight counterparts made out voraciously and made love to one another. In a May 2000 interview Whedon responded to this criticism on the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer forum The Bronze, posting, "Are we forced to cut things between [name removed] and [name removed]? Well, there are things the network will not allow us to show. As for example kissing." This was while Buffy was still on the WB network, and when the show made the switch to UPN in its sixth season the lesbian couple was depicted kissing. In its final season there was a full-blown lesbian sex scene (complete with blanketed cunnilingus) which was a first for network television. Of course, straight white dudes love a little girl on girl action so it's not surprising that when it came to any depiction of two men being sexual with one another, the show never delivers. The obviously homosexual male character introduced in season six is never openly acknowledged as being gay, and he's far from entering any relationship or having a sexual encounter, which for Buffy the Vampire Slayer, is out of place. One would expect the subversive world of comic books to alleviate some of these restraints, but this is obviously not the prerogative of Dark Horse as a publisher. There are no real advancements in any of these regards from the original series to comics. Sure (spoiler alert), Willow is still a lesbian, (end spoiler) and some other female characters experiment with same-sex sex but there's still no depiction of gay men. The aformentioned
// Britta Bachus gay male character is more obviously gay, but the comic never takes any responsibility for the characters orientation, and instead stereotypes him further. There is one depiction of men kissing in the comics, but it's in a nightmare that Buffy is having when two past love interests start kissing each other instead of fawning over her. The original television series also lacked ethnic characters until season 7, when the writers obviously became aware of their lack of diversity and wrote an episode where everyone hooks up with a different race. In the comics this is greatly improved and different races and cultures are given a bit more weight and importance to the story. As for swearing, blood and full frontal nudity, there is still an absence. Even in a greatly pivotal and uncomfortable sex scene there are leafy tree branches conveniently hiding every ariola and ball sack. However, when you’re dealing with a show originally made for young adults, we shouldn’t expect it to suddenly switch it's target demographic just because it switched its medium. At The End As a fan of the original series, I was looking forward to the continuation of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series as a comic, but it just doesn't deliver. The plot was unlikely, sometimes ridiculous, and characters act out of character numerous times. If you’re a huge comic fan you might appreciate some of the elements of the project, but odds are if you don't read a lot of comics, and you’re a fan of Buffy, you shouldn’t expect this project to win you over. Reading the first story arc of season nine, it's encouraging to see Whedan and company learned from their initial mistakes. Comparatively, season one of Buffy the Vampire Slayer wasn't exactly great, so perhaps the comics can still develop into a great continuation of the story the fans love. It's just unfortunate that season eight was such a departure.
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Most of the story arcs written by Whedon capture the voices and personalities of the characters well. This is important as the comics take place sometime after the events of the television series, so some departure was necessary in terms of setting and concept. New political and military themes are welcome additions to the Buffy formula, however it's a big departure from the more microfocus of the show. Having the actors’ voices come to mind while reading is important in easing the transition. Joss Whedon’s tone and humour isn't mastered by all the writers though, and sometimes the humour is overt, relying on visual spectacle and absurdity rather than dialogue. As a result, it can sometimes feel like you’re reading a comic, As a result, it often feels like you are just reading a random comic book rather than a canon continuation of the Buffy story. Almost every character from the television show makes an appearance in the comic. These additions sometimes seem frivolous, more for
the sake of pandering to illicit “ohhhh shiiit!” moments from fans rather than to advance plot. It seems as though the writers thought that what people loved about these characters were their visage and a few catch phrases. Many of the characters seem to depart drastically from who they were in the original series as well. In an interview with SFX magazine about the comic continuation, Nicholas Brendon, the actor who played Xander stated, “[Xander is] looking good, rocking the eye patch in charge of 500 chicks. That is the one thing that Xander would be completely blown away about – being in charge of 500 slayers. Xander wasn't in charge of himself in the show!" Character developments that would have readers jumping out of their seat aren't handled with as much care as they were in the original series. Some of these developments polarized fans, which is nothing new for the show, however what was most disappointing was how the comic handled the death of one of the important characters. Whedon is no stranger to killing off important characters when it's necessary, but it just didn't have very much weight in season eight, and considering who dies, it certainly should have. The artist, Georges Jeanty, does a passable job at bringing the character likeness to the page, but the work is fairly inconsistent. Sometimes characters are recognizable, and other times features become so simple it's difficult to identify who's who. Although the novelty of the dated outfits from the television series is lost, the characters would have benefited from unique, signature looks and styles to make identification easier. Because of some unimaginative character design paired with faces that lose their detail in some panels, and thus their recognition, visually Buffy season eight requires more attention and focus to discern what exactly is going on. Jeanty does a good job at displaying the individuals’ movements and expressions, capturing the characters well in this regard. His artwork also lends itself
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F e at u r e s
THE OMINOUS OMNIBUS
Changes to Canada’s justice system are putting the country in danger By Colin Spensley // Columns Editor
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hen most Canadians reflect on their country, the first things that spring to mind are not hardened criminals, murderers, rapists, nor extortion or violence. With what some call the “Americanization” of Canada’s justice system, however, many potentially unwelcome changes are on the horizon. The potential of a privatized prison system would increase the amount of federal money spent on prisons, as well as the number of non-violent offenders behind bars. Thus, Canada starts down a road to proven disaster.
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Stats Don’t Lie, They Bend
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Crime rates in Canada have been decreasing steadily since 1977, reaching a record low in 2007, dropping seven per cent from the previous year. Both youth and adult reported crime rates are falling, and overall rates have dropped 23 per cent since 2000. In Vancouver, all reported crimes have dropped by at least six per cent, other than homicide. MacLean’s magazine first published their National Crime Rankings in 2006, listing cities based on their their crime ranking. Each yearly issue awards cities across Canada titles such as the “Murder Capital of Canada” or the “Sexual Assault Capital of Canada”. Although well-researched, these articles have been criticized for instilling a fear of crime in many Canadians. “What Maclean's has done with its crime ranking is to spread fear among communities,” says John Anderson, professor of criminology at Vancouver Island University, in an interview with The Daily News. A 2001 report by the Department of Justice revealed that the public’s concern regarding crime was growing, particularly in areas concerning child-abuse and gang-related crime,
despite consistently dropping crime rates. The study concluded that “the public's fears remain unrelated to actual crime rates and potential for victimization, as perceptions of criminal activity and violence are not in tune with reality.” In 1994, for example, 81 per cent of Canadians believed that criminal behaviour in general was increasing. In a 2012 poll, 46 per cent of Canadians responded that crime is on the rise, despite the aforementioned downward trend. Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid Currently, the Conservative government has put forward an omnibus crime bill to make several changes to the Canadian justice system. Made up of nine anti-crime bills that the Conservatives were not able to pass as a minority government, Bill C-10 was promised to be passed into law before the end of March. Also known as the Safe Streets and Communities Act, the bill is over 100 pages long, and covers drug possession, transferring Canadian offenders back to Canada, human smuggling, pardons, conditional sentences, sexual exploitation, young offenders, support for victims of terrorism, and mandatory minimum and maximum sentences. Bill C-10 was passed in the House of Commons in December after only one amendment, and moved on to be examined by the Conservative-dominated Senate. Last week the Senate submitted six amendments to the bill, and the final version is being put forward in the House of Commons to be approved, with only six hours of debate permitted. Since its introduction last September, Bill C-10 has been heavily criticized. The Canadian Civil Liberties Association warns that the bill is sending Canada down a more dangerous path, rather than a safer one. “Indeed, the research suggests that putting an individual in jail for longer will actually increase the likelihood of re-offending,” reads an article on
the CCLA website. “What it will do is needlessly increase the number of people in prison, skyrocketing costs and imposing unjust, unwise, and unconstitutional punishments. This is exactly the kind of policy Canada doesn’t need.” A huge point of contention regarding the bill is the new mandatory minimum and maximum sentences. The new maximum sentence of 14 years for cultivators of over 50 marijuana plants makes the penalty higher than that for rape or manslaughter, and the mandatory minimum sentences now apply to people who grow as few as six plants. A high-profile U.S. advocacy group of current and former U.S. law enforcement officials called Law Enforcers Against Prohibition recently urged the Canadian government to reconsider their stance on marijuana sentencing: “We are … extremely concerned that Canada is implementing mandatory minimum sentencing legislation for minor marijuana-related offences similar to those that have been such costly failures in the United States.” They explain, “These policies have bankrupted state budgets as limited tax dollars pay to imprison non-violent drug offenders at record rates instead of programs that can actually improve community safety.” However, the Justice Minister Rob Nicholson stated in response that the Harper government has no intention of changing their stance on marijuana prohibition, and that they remain “committed to ensuring criminals are held fully accountable for their actions.” Many people are worried about the consequences of this unwavering attitude: “Bill C-10 is following the US model with mandatory minimum sentences. This model leads to injustice,” says Capilano criminology professor Laurel Whitney. “It’s taking power away from judges and targeting the lower end of the drug industry.”
// Illustrations by Jason Jeon The CCLA also says that there is not enough evidence that supports mandatory minimum sentences as an effective deterrent for crime: “There is also little evidence to suggest that they will significantly impact sentences for the most serious offenders – who are already being sentenced to significant amounts of jail time by the judiciary,” they say. “Rather, they will handcuff the judiciary, preventing them from responding to unique facts and exceptional personal circumstances.” Most of the amendments to the Canadian law model proposed by the omnibus crime bill involve punishment, rather than prevention. “C-10 is a very large bill with many components to it, but there are a number of things we need to be aware of,” says SFU Professor of Economics Stephen Easton. “Increases in mandatory penalties for certain crimes which will raise the number of people in prisons. The cost of keeping people in federal prison is about $300 a day, which are significant costs.” In addition, Whitney goes on to explain that the Canadian Correctional Institution has a budget of $3 billion, larger than that of the RCMP, and only two per cent of that goes to rehabilitation programs. Welcome to Our Ultra Mega Super Maximum Security Prison, Enjoy Your Stay Citizens of the United States of America have been living with what has been referred to as the “Prison-Industrial Complex” for almost 20 years now. Since 1995, the number of people imprisoned in the United States has almost doubled, from 1,585,586 to a staggering 2,193,798 in 2005. Many factors have led to this drastic increase of imprisonment in America, including the “War On Drugs”, new mandatory minimum sentence laws for drug possession, and the belief that pris-
F e atu r e s on is a solution for underlying social issues. The average cost of keeping an American in prison is between $59,000 and $64,000 per year, all funded by American taxpayers. Prison costs are funded publicly; however, all profits are distributed privately. In an essay entitled “The American Prison Industrial Complex – Investing In Slavery”, author Kobutsu Malone lists 117 companies and corporations who profit directly from prisons and the increase in incarcerations of the American people, including Version Telecommunications and ARAMARK Food Services. In September of 2011, the construction or renovation of at least seven major Canadian prisons, as well as adding 576 beds to prisons across four provinces, was announced. This project was given a $32 million budget by the federal government. An additional 7,000 beds will be added in British Columbia, PEI, and Nunavut in the coming years with a budget of $4 billion. The current B.C. prison system has 1,692 cells and approximately 2,655 inmates, with the average provincial prisoner costing tax payers $84,225 per year. With the addition of 7,000 beds, many C-10 skeptics are questioning where this excess federal funding will come from.
needs,” says Whitney. “By locking more people up, it will only get harder to help.” Shawn Atleo, current national chief of the Assembly of First Nations, says that Bill C-10 will make it more difficult for aboriginal youth to break the cycle of crime that they often find themselves in. Atleo spoke to the Senate committee reviewing the bill, and told them, “The direction that this is heading in does not support the notion of First Nations creating safe and secure communities … Because the young people we are talking about right now, they are more likely to end up in jail than end up in school.” The particular concern is that mandatory minimum sentencing will eliminate any alternatives to prison that First Nations people were previously allowed, including rehabilitation: “I don’t think you can ever avoid looking at the circumstances of an individual when determining what is the best thing to do in terms of addressing harms that have been inflicted,” said Atleo. In the previously-mentioned report by the Department of Justice, it was found that “a bare majority of Canadians are in favour of a Native justice system. Support for this separate system has been increasing over the past eight years.” Though Atleo did not specifically suggest an Aboriginal justice system, he said that “modifiOUR SAFE HOME AND NATIVE LAND cations to the present justice system cannot adIn Canadian prisons, a large population of in- dress the problems that exist … The First Nations mates are of varying ethnic backgrounds, with governments and jurisdictions must be supportAboriginal people taking up a disproportion- ed so we can do better by our young people.” ately high percentage. Though Aboriginal peoREHABILITATION VS GANG MENTALITY ple make up only 3.75 per cent of the general Canadian population, they make up 18 per cent Once a prisoner’s sentence length is decided by a of the federal prison population. judge, their next task is to be rehabilitated by the In 2006, over 30 per cent of incarcerated wom- Correctional System of Canada. en were Aboriginal, and in Manitoba 78 per cent “I think it really does turn you into an animal,” of incarcerated men were Aboriginal. “We al- says Greg Simmons, an inmate of 17 years, in ready have a very complex diversity of people in an interview with the Toronto Star. “It makes our prison and it’s very difficult to serve all their you feel so unworthy and once you’re back on
the street life has still gone on, but you haven’t gone on … Instead of making sentences longer, help us benefit from the sentence we have now. By making programs, and bringing in people who have succeeded on the outside,” says Simmons. “In New York, more than half of state prison inmates get out within four years and return home,” says a study reported in the Toronto Star. “With difficulty finding a job and few services to ease their re-entry, a third are back in jail within three years, most for violating parole or probation.” In 2007 Manitoba’s Correctional Institution reported at 75 per cent of inmates released were charged with another offence within two years of completing their sentence. Whitney worries that the rise in prison numbers due to Bill C-10 will prevent funding for rehabilitation programs: “With over-population in prisons, you go into security mode and put all your resources into that,” she says. However, rehabilitation programs have been shown to be extremely effective at preventing re-offense. For example, Norway’s Bastoy Prison allows inmates to live in a communal camp on an island, where they learn skills and are given responsibilities in running the facility, as well as comfort and free time. The emphasis is on allowing the inmates to live healthy, productive lives, thereby making it easier to remain rehabilitated upon their release. Though Bastoy is admittedly an extreme example of rehabilitation techniques, their alternative approach to crime punishment has produced the lowest re-offending rate in all of Europe. "The biggest mistake that our societies have made is to believe that you must punish hard to change criminals," said Oeyvind Alnaes, a previous prison-governor of Bastoy. "This is wrong. The big closed prisons are criminal schools. If you treat people badly, they will behave badly. Anyone can be a citizen if we treat them
well, respect them, and give them challenges and demands." A 2005 report for Correctional Services of Canada found that 50 per cent of Canadians believed that prison conditions were too comfortable. Thirty-four per cent favored rehabilitation over punishment for the role of the correctional system, though 63 per cent of people believed that rehabilitation was possible for most offenders. A report for the Solicitor General Canada found that incarceration produced a three per cent increase in recidivism, and a six per cent increase when the incarceration was for longer periods. According to Corrections Canada, previous offenders account for only 1.3 of every 1,000 violent offences, 0.7 of every 1,000 sexual offences, and 1.2 of every 1,000 drug offences, and “94 per cent of those released on day parole did not commit a new crime.” Though the public perception of parole is not favourable, the facts show that it is more successful at rehabilitation than keeping offenders incarcerated. A WHOLE NEW WORLD With the passing of Bill C-10 on the horizon, concern for the future of Canada is growing. American lawmakers are warning us not to repeat their mistakes, and ignoring them could potentially cost Canada billions of dollars. The new laws will also increase the number of prison inmates, putting society’s most vulnerable people at greater risk. Rather than looking to countries who have had success with alternative punishment practices, the Canadian government is imposing counterintuitive harsher crime laws, despite dropping crime rates. The public perception of the state of crime in Canada has been shown to be distorted, and without proper awareness, the bill will likely pass without proper review.
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f e at u res
THAT'S FANTAXTIC Tips and tricks for doing your taxes on time By Leah Scheitel // writer
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h, Spring. Flowers are about to bloom, the snow is about to melt, and taxes are just about due. Tax season can add extra stress to an already intense semester for students, but can cause a bigger headache if they are neglected. Although taxes are intimidating, especially for students doing them for the first time, here are some resources and tips to help people file successful tax claims.
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The Tax World
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Simply put, taxes are paid to the government so they can provide public services. Unfortunately, there is a lot of confusion and jargon surrounding taxes, which is what can make them such a daunting task. “Students get assistance in the income tax area by being allowed to claim some tax credits and deductions,” says John Wilson, an accounting professor at Capilano University. “A deduction means that you actually take the amount off of your income before you determine how much tax you have to pay. A tax credit is where you are not adjusting your income. In the end, you say, ‘Of that amount of tax that I owe, here is a credit that goes towards paying them.’ They both end up lowering the amount that you have to pay, but they do it in different ways. One takes it off the tax, and the other takes it off the income.” Many people use outside resources, like H&R Block, Liberty Tax Service, or personal accountants to help them file their taxes, to avoid missing any benefits. Although these places advertise cheap rates for tax assistance, most companies are just advertising their base rates. The rate increases based on how complicated the return is and how many T4’s and other tax slips are needed to complete it. “For a student, it would be closer to $100 for all the slips that they have to use,” says Wilson, “And you can buy computer software that will cost about a third of that. You have an ability on the website to file over the telephone, where you phone someone from Revenue Canada, and they assist you over the phone.” As opposed to the traditional method of filing taxes on paper and sending it to the government, more and more Canadians are filing online. According to Statistics Canada, 3.7 million people filed their 2009 claim online, which was up from 3.1 million in 2007. If filing online, there are a variety of software programs that can help you with your claim. This is usually a less expensive option than companies that process your taxes for you, but they can be confusing to navigate, and are not as personal as one-on-one help. Although outsourcing help for taxes can be useful, it is still important to be wary of the price you are paying for the services received. Amy Paulston, a student at Langara College, had to do four different drafts of her income tax in 2010 because the quote H&R Block gave her was completely different from the quote she completed and the one her mother drafted for her. “It was very confusing,” she says. “The claim was much lower than the two that I already had, and basically just made me have to re-do my taxes by hand.” H&R Block still charged for the services even though the quote was inaccurate, causing more headaches than it solved. “It’s just frustrating as a student to get my taxes done professionally and
get so much conflicting information from different sources,” says Paulston. “What often happens with students is that the students will do the work, and have their tuition credits and everything, and want to get their refund as quickly as possible,” says Wilson. “So, they’ll go to a prepare H&R Block-type business, or something similar. The student gives them a slice of their refund. The business prepares a return as part of the service there are offering, and they keep a percentage of whatever their rate is – usually around 15 per cent, which is a good chunk of the return, considering it is free to do on your own. With a little bit of time and energy, you can do it yourself and save yourself some money. “ The government does provide some tax help as well: “There are organizations around that are helping people who don’t have much income, and giving them help to file their tax returns,” Wilson explains. “If you phone Canada Revenue Agency they will know where to find the where the programs are. These programs are to help seniors, students, and homeless fill in their tax returns because there are many benefits in our society, subsidy and that, that depend on filing tax returns.” The Canadian government offers assistance over the phone with Tax Information Phone Serves (TIPS), an automated phone service for general tax information, Canada Revenue Agency offices – where publications are
available – and Volunteer Income Tax Clinics. These clinics are free help for simple income tax returns, focused to aid low-income citizens. Tax facts The deadline for filing taxes is Apr. 30, and although this doesn’t mean that everyone pays them on time, there are benefits to making a claim by this date. “If there is any free money associated with filing your tax return, if you don’t file on time you lose the chance to get that money,” Wilson says. “Some of the tax credits are time sensitive. If you don’t file on time, there are some credits that might expire.” These time-sensitive credits include ones like the B.C. Provincial tax credits, like the PST and GST. To file an accurate claim, students need T4 tax slips from all of their employers. These slips are records of the income made while being employed by that specific company. They also show how much tax has already been paid by being directly taken off the income. By law, employers have to send these to employees by the end of February, giving people enough time to do taxes before the deadline. Students also need to collect a T2200 tax slip, which shows how much money they paid in tuition and for how many months there were considered a student. Capilano students can access this through their myCap account.
// Jillian Aquino
Taxes for Students There are some tax credits that are specifically for students, but sometimes deductions and credit can be easily missed. Some of the commonly overlooked credits include a textbook credit, moving expense deductions, scholarship and bursary credit, tuition credit, and transportation (U-Pass) credit. “Some of the tax credits give you some money based on how many months you were full-time or part-time student,” explains Wilson. “There is a basic education tax credit, and if you’re a full-time student, it ends up being $60 a month. If you’re a part time student, it ends up being $18 per month. There is no particular reason of what it’s for; it’s just there to help you because they know that you are a student. A textbook tax credit adds another $10 a month during the period that you are getting an educational tax credit.” Students don’t have to keep receipts for textbooks to send into the government, because you’re not claiming what you actually spend, just the tax credit. This makes administration easier for the government and easier for the students, as they don’t have to keep the receipts and the government doesn’t have to receive them. “If you have a student loan debt, then the interest that you’ve paid on your student loan becomes deductible,” Wilson continues. “There is a credit for that. Most students won’t be having any interest while they’re going to school because you don’t start paying the loans until you’ve finished and [are] working full-time.” Scholarships and bursaries are considered part of income, but there are also certain amounts of them that are tax-free. In effect, students claim the whole amount, but get a deduction for the majority of it. There is also the ability to transfer the education tax credits to a parent or spouse: “Often students are going to school and won’t have enough income to be able to use up any of these credits. And yet, other people are helping them by providing money for tuition or whatever, and so they can transfer up to $750 worth of these credits to someone else – parent, or grandparent, or whatever,” says Wilson. If a student moves a significant distance to be able to go to school, then they can also write off some of their expenses. There is a formula for calculating the distance the student has to move to determine how many expenses they can write off. “It might not be a lot,” says Wilson. “It might just be gas and travel from here to back home, but at least there is some ability to deduct some of those costs. Moving expenses are ones that often get misplaced.” There is also a tax credit for transit passes, but because the cost of the U-Pass is included in tuition, it is often forgotten. There are two types of slips that you have to print off from the University; one related to the U-Pass and one related to the general tuition, both of which are available for download on Capilano’s website, with a student account. Taxes can be intimidating, but with the right knowledge and tools, students can receive a welcome refund to cushion their bank account. The Canada Revenue Agency has a website and a pamphlet that provides specific information about taxes, that can be found at www.cra-arc. gc.ca.
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EDIT OR // Cl aire Vul l iamy // arts @ c api l ano c o uri e r. c o m
GOT ME LOOKIN’ SO CRAZY RIGHT NOW
A r t s Sh o r t s
Capilano dominates the finals in Vancouver’s Crazy8s short film competition By Claire McGillivray // writer
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Veronica Falls / Bleached The Media Club – Feb. 20, 2012
“When I came out I had the language, I had the experience, I knew what films I didn’t want to do and the ones that I did do, I picked what I enjoyed from them and continue to build on those experiences,” he explains. Axani is also the recipient of the Motion Picture Production Industry Association Emerging Director Award. Capilano Documentary program graduate Camille Mitchell (A Mother’s Love) also made it to top six Crazy8s finalists with her producer Jonathan Tammuz. Writer/director Wayne Robinson and his producer, current Capilano student Nigel Edwards, made the top 13 finalists, with their film concept, Nudis. Each of these artists was selected to make their film concept and artistic vision become a reality “Crazy8s is truly the single best way in B.C. to launch your career,” states Zach Lipovsky, a Crazy8s alumni. Lipovsky is perhaps the most successful finalists the competition has seen yet. His one-shot film Crazy Late helped him secure a spot in the top five competitors on the Steven Spielberg reality television show On the Lot. For potential winners, the competition offers fantastic exposure to leading industry professionals. Axani describes the competition as “a good launching pad for people.” “There are a lot of good companies that put into it, through the industry. It’s building more of a relationship with them so that when you go on to do a bigger project, like a feature film, you have
// JJ Brewis a standing with them,” he says. As in the case of Lipovsky, some will go on to be incredibly successful filmmakers, with their work going on to be shared with an international industry. Included in the support package for the top six finalists is a high definition camera, sound recording equipment, a lighting and grip package, complete production insurance, free location permits, all required paperwork, access to edit suites if required, and online editing. The editing includes features such as title generation, colour correction, and professional sound mixing capabilities. Winners are also provided with access to the services of a casting director and discounts on vehicle/props/costume rental. These resources are crucial if they are going to stretch an $800 budget into a professional-grade short film. For potential filmmakers, Axani has a few simple words of advice: “Go in with stories that you’re attached to personally. It has to be a story that resonates with you as an artist and one that you, personally, are very attached to and interested in. That human experience relates to everybody.” The upcoming Crazy8s gala film screening is on March 30, 2012 at the Vancouver Centre for Performing Arts, 777 Homer Street, in Vancouver, BC. For further information regarding tickets, go to http://crazy8s.cc/
London buzz band Veronica Falls returned to Vancouver, and admittedly opened up about how excited they were to be back. “We love this city,” lead vocalist James Hoare told the crowd. Despite probably using that line on every city on their tour, the Media Club audience ate it up, and Veronica Falls had them in the palm of their hand the whole show. After all, this is a group that every music website has been freaking out about for the past six months; yet their cool factor seemed to be a non-issue as they hugged their fans, autographing their vinyl at the merch table between sets. Promoting their 2011 self-titled debut, the UK group appears on stage in chaotically mismatched paisleys, polka dots, and stripes, yet somehow manage to make it cool. Perhaps it’s their live set, which is a full 360 from their album, adding unbelievable live musicality to already favourable indie-pop songs, such as the guitar shredding “Bad Feeling”. When it came to the slower-tempo “Stephen”, the entire quartet was belting out the lyrics in full form, an exact personification of their geeky-meets-cool vibe, backed by sincere musicianship. Opener Bleached featured former Mika Miko members (and sisters) Jennifer and Jessica Clavin. Main vocalist Jennifer charmed the audience with her girl-next-door meets apathetic-East-Van-barista persona that preceded each number with, “This is a new song.” Eventually someone in the front row called her out on it with, “So, they’re all new?” She flipped her aptly dyed blonde hair to the side, let out a massive giggle, and immediately sped into “Searching Through the Past”, repeating the refrain “Boy, don’t tell me I’m crazy” on a near-endless loop. The Los Angeles outfit, who only have a series of 7" releases to their name, had the packed Media Club in full form, with blog photographers elbowing each other out of the way to snag shots of the up-and-comers. The echo-y reverb was all the more apparent in Jennifer’s speaking banter. “Have any of y’all seen the Lady Gaga special for Thanksgiving?” she asked. “This lighting is reminding me of that.” With each brief piece of commentary, she’d spit out a massive anxious laugh before the drummer halted the silence with a childlike thwack, attempting to cover up her somewhat rhetorical questions to the crowd. “Where the hell do you get poutine in this city?” By JJ Brewis // Art Director
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ike writing a sonnet, the constraints would inspire the art.” This statement is part of the backstory for Vancouver’s Crazy8s film competition, as listed on their website. The constraints referred to are eight crazy days being the amount of time that the triumphant emerging filmmakers have to create their short films on a minuscule budget of $800. Currently in its 13th year of activity, the competition is a multi-step process that attracts dozens of hopeful amateur and emerging professional filmmakers. It was inspired in 1999 by the rapid-paced “Fly Filmmaking” at the Seattle International Film Festival. The idea began with filmmaker Rick Stevenson, and was enthusiastically supported by Rhonda Monteith, the past Executive Director of the Directors Guild of Canada, BC. Eventually, after the competition changed hands a few times, the not-for-profit Crazy8s Film Society was created to take on the job and the festival continued on as an annual cornerstone feature of the Vancouver film scene. This year with their entrance fee, all 118 filmmaking teams were privy to an hour-long pitch workshop and educational experience with Mickey Rogers, a local entrepreneur and strategic coach. From 118 video pitches, 40 semi-finalists were chosen to present their concepts in person to a jury of film industry professionals. Of these 40 filmmakers, 13 finalists were selected to workshop their script with a professional story editor. Capilano University made a name for itself in the competition with four of the 13 finalists being Capilano alumni, faculty, and even one current student. Among the final films is Babies in the Wall, written/directed by Doreen Manuel and to be produced by Tamara Bell & Dwayne Beaver. Manuel is the coordinator of Capilano’s Indigenous Independent Digital Filmmaking program and she is also the winner of the Women in Film and TV Spotlight Award for Excellence in Education. Marshall Axani, a graduate of Capilano’s Motion Picture Arts program, placed in the top six with his film concept The Vessel, alongside producers Diana Donaldson and Graham Wardle. When asked, Axani describes the film as a “dramatic thriller with a sci-fi element to it.” As a filmmaker, he values “morally ambiguous films that challenge you to think in a certain way [and/or] pose questions you have to ask within yourself.” As an already established filmmaker and the co-founder of his own production company, Awkward Moment Productions, Axani has already established himself in the industry. Axani credits his university education for helping him develop his craft, and believes that it’s valuable to any artist. “[It] gives you the tools to get a lot of hands on experience. That’s the biggest thing for artists: unless you can make the mistakes and fail a few times, and succeed a few times … I don’t think you can really define who you are or present your voice in the way you necessarily want to; you haven’t found it yet.”
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Getting “Murray-ed Alive” Gallery show celebrates Bill Murray
// Chris Dedinsky By Leah Scheitel // writer
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t was a sea of red toques and Bill Murray masks at the Fall Gallery on Feb. 18, as people gathered for Bill You Murray Me?, an art exhibit inspired by and dedicated to the one and only Bill Murray. As a comic who got his start in the early days of SNL, he became an unexpected cult icon. “It’s pretty much a party: a party with Bill,” explains Christina Chant, co-creator and curator of the event. The event was all by donation and the proceeds all went towards purchasing art supplies and renting the gallery. “It goes to keeping the party going,” says Chant. Prior to the exhibit, Chant made a call for submissions. The end result was an eclectic
collection of fan art: “There [are] about 130 pieces of art and it’s all mixed mediums, so there’s painting, drawings, digital prints, metal work, stained glass – there’s everything,” explains Chant. “Glitter, feathers, macaroni – everything.” Some of the work is from Chant’s circle of friends, but most was donated to the exhibit: “There is some from my friends because we had some painting and drawing parties, and the rest are external submissions. I’ve had about 70 or 80 submissions from people I don’t know.” Prices of the art ranged from $20 to $750. The most expensive was a stained glass work of Steve Zissou, Bill Murray’s character from The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. Not all of the works were for sale, though: “It’s up to the artists if they want to sell their pieces,” Chant says. “Some of them are for sale, others aren’t. And the proceeds go directly to the artist, which they appreciate.” The event was originally going to be held at the Toast Collective Gallery on Kingsway and Main, but was relocated after it received so much publicity and attention: “Because of the scale of the event, we had to switch venues. The Toast Collective is an amazing space; it’s just that we couldn’t safely host the event there because of capacity.” The Fall Gallery is a larger space and located close to the Granville skytrain station, making it more accessible for a larger crowd: “The Fall Gallery has about 1,300 square feet of gallery
space, so it can hold about 300 to 400 people at a time. We are going to have visuals, and there is a space for a bar. It’s a nice space and it’s very accessible,” explains Chant. The exhibit featured all different kinds of art, a bar serving cold beverages, and a DJ playing music from Bill Murray movies mixed into his repertoire. The inspiration from this event stemmed from a previous collection that Chant and her friends held called The Steven Seagallery, which was art dedicated to ex-marine and movie star, Steven Segal: “One of our friends had always talked about doing a ‘Steven Seagallery’, and we thought it was a hilarious idea. We took it over, and put it up at Burning Man, and there was a really great response. From that, I was left with about 40 pieces of art at my house. I contacted a place, and together we organized The Steven Seagallery, which was at the Toast Collective. We had over 100 people attend, and there was a great response to it and it was so fun, so we decided to do another one. I asked some friends who was the right person to pick, and someone suggested Bill Murray, and it was like, ‘Yup, that’s the right one’.” He was indeed the right guy to pick. The exhibit opened at 7pm, and the gallery was at capacity by 8pm. There was a 20-minute line up for the remainder for the night. “I think people just really like Bill Murray,” Chant explains in regards to why the event
received so much attention. “He is a very loveable person, and a kind of cult icon among our demographic.” Publicity for the exhibition was primarily through word of mouth. “I approached it the same way I did with the Steven Seagallery,” Chant says. “We made an event page and put posters up around Main Street and Commercial [Street], as well as some of the different colleges, like Emily Carr, Langara, and Cap [University].” In Vancouver, the exhibit is unique, but the interest in Bill Murray is international. Last year, a gallery in Los Angeles hosted Please Post Bills, a similar collection of 80 artists and their works all dedicated to Bill Murray. Bill You Murray Me? was originally intended to be one-night only; however, the Fall Gallery has agreed to let the show run for the next two weeks, and maybe longer. Chant is still working out the details with the gallery, but is already starting works on the next exhibit. “The next exhibit will be in June, and will feature the Spice Girls,” Chant says. When asked what Bill Murray would think if he knew that there was an entire underground art show dedicated to him, Chant says, with a laugh, “He would probably ask why. And he’d probably get a kick out of it. I think he’d be flattered and a little bit embarrassed.” Bill You Murray Me? Is on display at the Fall Gallery on 644 Seymour Street.
The bombshells behind Bomb Girls Global TV's latest series brings period-piece drama and Canadiana together By Angela Espinoza // The Other Press (Douglas College)
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EW WESTMINSTER, B.C. (CUP) – Only days after the explosive fireworks display that was New Year’s 2012, Global TV premiered their latest series, Bomb Girls. Bomb Girls focuses on the Canadian women who worked in munitions factories during World War II while the country’s men were on the battlefront. Although Bomb Girls began as a sixpart miniseries, it found enough of an audience to be renewed for a second, 12-episode season – which was announced to the public one day prior to the season finale on Feb. 8. With the combination of heavy self-promotion, the casting of an Academy Award-nominated actress (Meg Tilly), and the public’s need for some fresh TV drama, a second season was inevitable – not to mention well prepared for, if the onslaught of episode six’s cliff-hangers were any indication. But can the success of Bomb Girls be attributed to simple logic, or is there more to this story? A woman on the inside Following the overwhelming popularity of AMC’s Mad Men and HBO’s Boardwalk Empire, ABC and Global managed to jump on the periodpiece bandwagon just in time. But while both ABC’s Pan Am and Global’s Bomb Girls entered the ring as shows focusing on the then-modern woman, only Bomb Girls seems to have survived, as Pan Am is doomed for cancellation. What made the significantly smaller production come out on top? A better story? Interesting characters? Canadian pride? Co-creator/
director/executive producer of Bomb Girls, Adrienne Mitchell, opens up about some of these inquiries. “Makeup artist Debi Drennan and author Maureen Jennings approached Janis Lundman and I with [the initial] concept,” Mitchell says, on the topic of the show’s history. “What struck us immediately in their research was that if it weren’t for thousands of women like Mina [Ribble – Drennan’s grandmother] and Hilda [Lyall – Drennan’s godmother] who traveled across Canada to work at the factories, the Allies would have never won the war.” “We didn’t even know the extent to which Canadian women played such a pivotal role in turning things around for the Allies,” she continues. “And all this was happening even before the Americans joined the war. So it was a slam-dunk for us that this story had to be told and had a populist appeal.” That settles the question of Canadian pride, but is that pride based on favouring an original Canadian series, or on our actual history? “What astounds me is how many people didn’t know about this part of our Canadian history, ourselves included,” Mitchell says. “The Canadian women munitions workers were on full alert – no one knew if the world would be the same. So they lived in the moment, pushed boundaries, and experienced a kind of independence they had never experienced. There were stories of women crying over their first paycheque because they had never in their life earned one.” “I have been totally touched by the audience response from viewers discovering that their grandmothers or great aunts worked during the
war in munitions factories, and how they were learning about their family members in a way that they never knew before,” she explains. For someone as close to the show’s production as Mitchell to express such gratitude towards viewers influenced by our otherwise little-known past, there is relief in knowing where the show’s audience stands. However, one glaring question remained, if only because most young women often forget the answer: is there a place for a series like Bomb Girls to exist in a time and nation where men and women are supposedly equal? “Well, I guess it’s all about how you define ‘equal,’” says Mitchell. “One has to ask if women are truly equal to men if current statistics reveal that women still earn 74 cents for each dollar a man earns for work of equal value, which qualifies them for less social security and pension; women are five [times] more likely to encounter domestic abuse; women continue to be vastly underrepresented in politics. Bomb Girls is trying to show that women can make important strides forward, [and] that men played an important role in that, but as it reminds us about the struggles in the past it also alerts us to those same struggles in the present. So yes, I feel [Bomb Girls] is incredibly relevant now, in spite of the gains that women have made.” She stands on her own
one viewers return week after week were the characters’ own battles. One character in particular, Betty McRae (portrayed by rising B.C.-based starlet Ali Liebert), attempted to shed light on the topic of homosexuality during that period. While in Los Angeles on the day of Bomb Girls’ season finale, Liebert offers a few words via phone. “Initially, I liked her survival skills – her tough exterior, her tactics, [and] her breathiness,” Liebert says of being drawn to Betty’s character. “I found the way she functioned in the world to be pretty interesting.” To paint a clearer picture, Betty is a highranking worker at the munitions factory where Bomb Girls takes place. Over the course of the first season, Betty’s tough-girl attitude is gradually revealed to be an aspect of her closeted lesbianism, something that grows to be more difficult to hide as she falls for a fellow munitions worker named Kate Andrews (Charlotte Hegele). Liebert, who has portrayed lesbian characters before in works such as The L Word and Sook-Yin Lee’s Year of the Carnivore (2009), said her experience working on Bomb Girls has been “creatively fulfilling.” “The producers and creators of the show really made sure to treat all the actors respectively, and they respected our opinions in terms of character development,” she says. “I’d just never worked on a show where they were so open to our suggestions and our feelings.”
Bomb Girls’ popularity isn’t based on history alone. While it’s important to keep our country’s past at the heart of it all, awareness can’t be You can catch Liebert later this year in the films raised without a compelling story to push things In the Hive, Foxfire, and, of course, in season two forward. Part of what made Bomb Girls’ season of Bomb Girls.
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Beat Nation Has a Pulse Exhibit showcases current Aboriginal art By Claire Vulliamy // arts editor
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n institution like the Vancouver Art Gallery has an implied obligation to honour the cultural history of the land on which it exists, and equal obligation to be true to the current culture of the city that it represents. In some ways, it has done so. In the last decade, on unceded Coast Salish territories, the VAG has shown the works of Osoyoos First Nations youth, who created drawings while in Inkameep Day School on the reserve, in the '30s and '40s. They have shown Haida art created within the last two centuries, including the work of Bill Reid, also featured in a 2006 exhibit that celebrated 75 years of collecting Aboriginal art. Local artist Rebecca Belmore has had a solo exhition at the VAG, as well as Brian Jungen, the first living Aboriginal artist to have his work shown
as the Smithsonian National Museam of the American Indian. Now, Jungen’s masks made of Nike shoes are also part of the VAG’s new exhibit, called Beat Nation. Beat Nation, which opened on Feb. 25, is the VAG’s most recent exhibition of Aboriginal art. However, with its wide range of young Aboriginal artists who are all currently active within their field, incorporating hip hop, and a strong youth culture, the Vancouver Art Gallery has brought in an exhibit that seems to look forward at the future of Native art, rather than the past. Beat Nation features multiple types of artwork: sculpture, photographs, paintings, video installations, and music. While emphasizing West Coast artists, the show also incorporates artists from across the nation. In total, 27 different artists are showcased in the exhibit. It wasn’t until the 1980s that the VAG began collecting Aboriginal art on a regular basis. In-
stead of focusing on the anthropological aspects of collecting, and giving the works a museum treatment, the VAG has focused more on collecting contemporary works, paving the way for this exhibit. Beat Nation itself has been in the works for some time. The Beat Nation show really began in 2008, when the Grunt Gallery developed an initiative to create a website that showcased the merging of hip hop with First Nations cultures. The curators of the website were Tania Willard, now a co-curator of the Vancouver Art Gallery exhibit, and Skeena Reece, who now appears on promotional material for the VAG exhibit, in traditional regalia that she had created called Raven: On the Colonial Fleet, which combines traditional elements of different First Nations groups with a corset printed with Northwest coast designs, and a button blanket with a gre-
Beat Nation will be at the Vancouver Art Gallery until Jun. 3, 2012
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// Katie So nade sequined on the back. The piece, which is used as part of Reece’s performance art, is on display at the exhibit. Reece also spoke at the opening of the event: “Are you guys all having a good night?” she asked, upon coming out at the FUSE opening. The crowd cheered. “You guys all own your own land,” she replied. Reece explained to the lukewarm audience, “I don’t want to be memorable,” following it up with, “I might go missing.” The talk, billed as comedy, took on a more serious tone. Reece said that she was happy this exhibit could happen, and that there was a place for it. She explained that she does not have a lot of energy beyond that of just survival, and made a plea for those who actually do have the energy to defend the creative spaces in Vancouver so that meeting grounds like Beat Nation may continue to happen. The variety of work in Beat Nation is staggering; however, one of the most hard-hitting pieces in the exhibit are the video installations by artists Bear Witness, and Jackson 2Bears. 2Bears, based in Victoria, BC, “uses the form of the remix as a tool for cultural critique” by taking images and videos of Aboriginal representation in the media and weaving the audio and visuals together. In his work Heritage Mythologies, 2012, he combines parts from news reports, commercials, still images, and movies, to “explore popular mis-representations of First Nations culture.” All of this is seen with a red overlay, which pulls back to reveal that the viewer is looking through a transparent Canadian flag. Bear Witness is a member of a Tribe Called Red who combine dubstep and Pow Wow music to create Pow Wow Step, and who performed at the FUSE opening as well. His work is shown in the same theatre as 2Bears’, and primarily uses clips from movies spanning old westerns to recent releases. A line from Elizabeth: The Golden Age (2007), “Do we discover the new world, or does the new world discover us?” is repeated over and over. Also used is a scene from Inglorious Basterds where Lt. Aldo Raine is talking about scalping Nazis. Contrary to popular belief, scalping was an act committed often against the Native peoples of America by the colonial settlers. Reece recently told the Globe and Mail that she wasn’t aware that the exhibit was so large, but that she hopes it signifies the start of something. “I didn’t even realize we were taking over an entire floor – whoa,” Reece said. “I almost feel like somebody missed a memo. Was there a mistake made? How did native people take over a floor? And then I was thinking, as a native person not feeling very represented at the gallery, are they just putting all the native artists on one floor to get it over with? Or is this genuinely the beginning of more recognition?”
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EDIT ORS // Col in spensl ey // c o l umns . c apc o uri e r@ gmai l . c o m
Love awkwardly
Episode IV: The importance of being JJ
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the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 19
he winter months bring with them an alarming set of side effects. For me, I find winter the loneliest season, despite the holidays, and I’m sure many can relate. Who doesn’t want a warm body to keep them cozy through the cold season? This winter, despite a mostly loveless and lust-free year, I ended up dipping back into the dating pool, likely a hopeless endeavor, to shake the winter blues. It had honestly been a while. The last time I had a boyfriend, it was disastrous, and so I was reluctant. Most of last year ended up getting sucked away in a vortex of work and travel, and disappeared before I realized it. But nearing the end, just as the Vancouver rain was hitting its peak, I reactivated my online dating profile, and before I knew it, the games had begun. Again. My first foray back into the world of dating was with a spritely younger guy named Neil. A 21-year-old UBC student who lived in Ladner, wore a purse, and jizzed over the thought of Joanna Newsom, he was certainly not my type on paper whatsoever. I was skeptical, but we met for coffee and ended up talking for hours. There were certainly some strange social moments, such as when he slightly freaked out that I had more Tumblr followers than him, but he reassured himself by realizing his Twitter presence was more prominent than mine (Ugh). He was silly, yet educated, and I was attracted to him despite the fact that his tiny frame made me feel like a complete beast. We saw a lot of each other quite fast, with dinners and live bands filling my already hectic schedule. They say you make time for what matters to you, and this felt right to me. On our third date, we ended up seeing a DJ at the Electric Owl, where I met his
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two brothers and their significant others. In most circumstances, this would have easily been filed under “way too soon”, but it felt mature and accomplished, and I liked that we seemed to be on the same wavelength. We saw a lot of each other over that month. The night of our last ‘date’ felt a bit strange. We ended up at a party with a bunch of his friends. The group of younger gay guys, whom, I had been notified, had all dated or slept with each other, were actually a lot nicer than Neil had suggested. “They’re not really my friends,” he said. “It’s just a keeping up appearances thing.” Despite obnoxious conversation about how “Katy Perry really can sing” and watching the room full of petite men call each other fat, I had a good time, and felt oddly satisfied when Neil introduced me as his “boyfriend”, despite never talking about it beforehand and only dating for a month. It was nice to meet a love interest’s friends. Over the past few years, anyone I’d seen had been such a brief encounter that it had never gotten to that point. He had already met everyone in my social circle, and taken up a nearobsessive attachment to my best friend Shannon, which we later realized was possibly due to her Internet infamy on Reddit earlier in the year. He’d been to my house to decorate for Christmas, with my mother and sister both fawning over him, and he’d been totally cool with it. We left the party to head to his house in Ladner for the rest of the evening, and ended waiting at the River Rock Casino for 90 minutes. I ended up getting into terrified visitor/protective boyfriend mode on the bus, not realizing Ladner was a bit of a ghetto, and the bus riders sitting behind us had visible guns in their possession and were discussing blowing each other’s brains out mid-route. In
the midst of it, Neil’s bag opened, and his notebook fell out. I picked it up off the bus floor, and he quickly snatched it out of my hand with fury. I wondered if the gangsters behind us were making him nervous, but this type of behaviour was quite unlike him. We got to his house, and went to bed around two. Around four, I woke up to him getting out of bed and putting his clothes on. “Where are you going?” I asked. He seemed panicked, distant, and I could tell he was being shifty. He told me he thought he may have mistaken his work schedule and was going to drive to his Starbucks to see if he was opening. I lay in his bed, feeling something really uneven in my heart, and, despite knowing better, I went into his bag and pulled out his notebook. I scanned through to the last page he had written on, on which I found the words, “I had drinks with two friends today. I tried, but I just couldn’t tell them I have a boyfriend. Something feels wrong.” The friends he had introduced me to were a lark, and the friends he mentioned in this book were his besties. This was very bad. I was far from home, lying by myself in the bed of someone younger than me; someone who I cared about a lot more than he cared about me. I tried to get back to sleep, and he returned an hour later, crawled into bed without waking or touching me. I didn’t sleep the rest of the night, and in the morning when he drove me to the skytrain, I could sense that he knew something had changed. He hugged and kissed me goodbye, and I felt dirty even doing so, not even fully realizing what the problem of the situation was. I had bought us tickets for a play which was two nights later, and he ended up bailing via
With JJ Brewis // Columnist
text, which ended up us mutually ending the entire thing, also via text. Pathetic. “Fuck that shit,” Shannon said. “No more younger guys. You need a nice older man, someone who has necessary gratitude.” I had to agree. It wasn’t really Neil’s fault. I was different at 21, and the 20s are a huge learning time for what you want, and what does and doesn’t work. I was actually fine with the split up until I ran into a mutual friend who greeted me with a bleak, drawn-out, “So … how are you?” I was legitimately fine, and questioned his tone. “Oh, I ran into Neil. He told me what happened. I’m so sorry.” It turned out Neil had told our friend that he “had to break up with me” because I had come on way too strong. Really? Really. He, who threw “boyfriend” around early, and without discussion. He, who insisted on seeing each other a minimum of four nights a week. He, who couldn’t go a few hours without texting or talking. “Figures,” Shannon said. “21, man. You’re too good for this shit.” The thing was, I knew it just as much as her; not that it doesn’t feel good to have your best friend go to bat for you. Besides, we were off to San Francisco, the gay mecca of Earth, in just a week. If previous travel experiences with Shannon stood for anything, I was about to get up to some trouble. Sexy trouble. JJ Brewis is quite possibly the keenest member of our editorial staff. He has been writing columns on various topics for the Courier for three years, and is now revisiting his most successful theme: relationships.
// Lydia Fu
C o lu mn s keepin’ it reel
Fright night
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ow scary were the 84th Academy Awards? With the exception of Jonah Hill almost winning an Oscar, not very scary; and that’s often the case. Oscar has long since treated horror films with a considerable degree of reticence. Silence of the Lambs was very successful at the 64th Awards in 1992, but though it deals with serial killers (scary stuff) it’s hard to pointedly define Silence as a horror movie, as it’s something of a police procedural, and an intellectual thriller. Though horror is one of the most enduringly popular genres of film, it’s often misconstrued as having a niche appeal or an emotional constitution that’s inferior to drama or sometimes even fart-joking, buddy cop flicks – especially in formal environments like the Academy Awards. To fully appreciate the genre, it’s important to acknowledge the powerful effect well-crafted horror can have. It’s safe to say that fear is one of the most affecting sensations, and extreme feelings beget each other – i.e. real pessimism allows for the existence of real optimism, and real fear creates a reality that allows you feel real comfort. As it is, I’m a big fan and, here are my top genredefining horror movies: SLASHER The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974): This is one of the ultimate cult movies and over the years it’s become pretty legendary. It’s also been sequeled and remade to death. But don’t be fooled by the cumbersome title, the dreadful sequels, and the skewed modern perspectives on it: this movie is the real deal, and it’s scary as shit. Though Tarantino is credited with opening the doors to indie cinema in the ‘90s, this movie is perhaps even more inspiring to the aspiring young auteur. It was made on a shoestring budget and all it took was a little originality and a few skin masks to walk it into the echelons of movie history. In many ways it outlined and influenced the shape of horror to come. Crappy alternative: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation. It stars (dead serious)
With Jonty Davies // Columnist
Renee Zellweger and Mathew McConaughey in some of their earliest roles. PARANORMAL
lent of humans traveling to a planet covered in lava, where the air is mostly lava and the beings are basically walking sacks of lava, then getting out and trying to fistfight them naked. The Exorcist (1973): Regularly topping lists of Another crappy alternative: Jason X. Jason best or scariest horror movies, merely relegating Voorhees, the hockey-mask-wearing teenagerThe Exorcist to horror lists is doing the film a dis- killer of Friday the 13th fame does his thing in service. More than a genre film, it was the best space. Why did they give the teenagers the keys movie of its year and one of the best of the ‘70s, to the space ship? Why did they bring a machetea decade which was a standing-room-only-Mar- wielding psychopath? Who will make it out alive? quee-Club of fantastic cinema. It’s smart, deals Just one more question for you: Who gives a shit? with religion in an even and sophisticated way, FOREIGN and is pretty all-around chilling. The set was also famously cursed, which is always cool to hear Audition (1999): Directed by the terrific Japaabout. Injuries were sustained on set, produc- nese filmmaker Takashi Miike, Audition is a tion staff later participated in murder/suicides slow-burning character study that changes and they even had a priest come and bless the gears in a very dramatic way towards the end. A set. I don’t think it worked, though. deeply psychological film, it tracks the relationCrappy alternative: Basically any other posses- ship between a middle-aged widower and the sion/exorcism movie; but let’s go with Amityville girl he meets through a fake audition process II: The Possession. With a whopping seven per set-up by his friend to help him get back into datcent on Rotten Tomatoes I’d say avoiding it is a ing. His prospect is at first very promising, but safe bet. in time we learn that the whole audition thing was a bad idea. Most of the film is paced and SCI-FI looming and then out of nowhere, BOOM, most Alien (1979)/The Thing (1982): They’re both terrifying torture scene ever. You will never get about an unknown malevolent alien entity acupuncture again. systematically killing isolated and screwed huCrappy alternative: The Grudge. It’s staid and mans. They’re both masterpieces of tension and clichéd to the point that I will forever hold a atmosphere, and they’re both fantastic. Alien grudge against the makers of this shitty movie. and its follow-ups are notable for featuring what HAUNTED HOUSE could be the most innovative and original movie monster ever created, as well as being one of The Shining (1980): So good, so scary, and often the most notable spotlights of an ass-kicking so hilarious. Jack Nicholson is at his most manic female protagonist. here. The Shining is based on a book by Stephen The Thing may not have a single woman in it, King, a man who owns a near-monopoly on literbut Kurt Russell tries his best. It also features a ary horror greatness, and is directed by Stanley pretty wicked alien life form (or A.L.F. if you re- Kubrick, one of the most perfect filmmakers ever. member the ‘80s). It’s a creature that’s unique in And I don’t use the term “perfect” loosely. Kubrick that doesn’t seem to have one true form – it’s a was famous for obsessive perfectionism, shootshape-shifting parasite that mimics DNA and ing and re-shooting simple – one could even say imitates appearances (usually in grotesque and insignificant (though Stanley wouldn’t) – scenes unusual transformations). hundreds of times. That perfectionism is at its Crappy alternative: Signs. The aliens are vul- most obvious in The Shining. The film is full of nerable to and defeated by water. As a cracked. masterful shot composition and vibrant perforcom writer pointed out, it would be the equiva- mances. It also inspired what’s probably the best
Simpsons Halloween special. Crappy alternative: 1408. I remember a friend of mine used to work at Super Video in Lynn Valley and he told me that it was the top rental at one time. It made us both pretty sad. ZOMBIE 28 Days Later (2002): Can you imagine how awful it would be if you woke up after a coma to find the world had gone to shit and, by the looks of it, zombies are running the show now? Yes, everyone you know is dead and there’s a startling probability that pretty soon you will be too. Such is the sentiment of 28 Days Later. Though not officially a zombie movie (the zombies are actually virus-infected humans, not reanimated corpses) it’s safely within the pantheon. With visceral direction from Danny Boyle and some real human touches, it’s a stark and effective film. Its sequel – 28 Weeks Later – was all right overall, but featured a terrific, pulse-pounding opening scene that unfolds exactly as you imagine it would it the zombie apocalypse. Crappy alternative: House of the Dead; an awesome arcade game that comes across as a ghastly, unwatchable film. Parts of the actual video game are inserted into this movie. It’s insane. It’s a bit of a shame that the formal institutions don’t widely acknowledge horror’s contributions. However, the fact remains that it’s a hugely popular genre that is responsible for lots of the energy and progress in modern cinema. It may take some very special crossover appeal (as with Silence of the Lambs) to see the Academy recognize horror in the future, but as long as people are watching, people will be making. A world without horror? Nothing scarier than that. Jonty Davies, like most, is a pretty big fan of movies. His favorite genre according to Netflix is “visually striking dark dramas" but he loves a good "visually striking dark comedy" too. When not writing about films, he likes to make dark little ones of his own.
business time
When bands and brands collide David Allen, a professor of marketing from Philadelphia, explains the technique: “[Apple was] following a classical conditioning model – feelings generated from hearing liked or disliked music in combination with a product can positively affect product choices.” Apple had just used the classic conditioning approach on my weak little mind. This theory suggests that I associated good feelings with the Feist song, like a summer road trip down the Oregon coast, and when I heard the song on the commercial, I associated those good feelings with the iPod. Using popular songs has other benefits for brands. Terry O’Reilly, author of The Age of Persuasion, points out that “most products don’t have emotions. But when songs are added to commercials, the products are given emotional resonance.” Consider the Kia commercial that featured the LMFAO song “Party Rock Anthem”. When you hear that boisterous song, you can’t help but feel
energetic and bouncy. What KIA wants is for you to transfer those emotions from the song to the car. If consumers see the commercial and then perceive the car as energetic and fun, then KIA has succeeded. Essentially, the objective is to associate the values of the song and artist with the brand to realign or strengthen their brand image. When Chevrolet built their truck campaign around the Bob Seger song “Like a Rock”, they wanted to strengthen their brand image. To many, Bob Seger personifies the archetypal “all-American man” and Chevy wanted their truck to be seen as the strong, American truck. The campaign was a wide success, and unfortunately, I still find myself humming that song whenever I see a Chevy pickup truck. However, it doesn’t always work out so well. In 1989, the pop genius Madonna debuted her song “Like a Prayer” on a 2-minute Pepsi commercial. Initially, it seemed that both artist and brand profited from the cooperation. That was,
// Columnist
until Madonna released the official “Like a Prayer” music video on MTV a couple of days later. As you probably remember, the video showed a burning cross and a bunch of other Catholic symbolism, which didn’t sit too well with the Pope. The Catholic institution called for a ban on Madonna, Pepsi, and all Pepsi-affiliated companies. Amidst the controversy, Pepsi promptly dropped the singer like a smoldering hot cross bun, stopped airing the television ad, and withdrew is sponsorship for her upcoming tour. Despite these measures, the damage was done. What could have been a stroke of marketing genius became a reminder for ad agencies to make sure the singer’s brand aligns with the values of their own brand. Then there are the bands that outright refuse to have their music used as a tool for marketing products. They may be afraid of Continued on page 16 →
the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 19
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hat’s the connection between LMFAO and KIA? Madonna and Pepsi? The Black Keys and Subaru? If you watch a lot of TV, then you know that each of these musical groups have had their songs used in the brands’ commercials. Whether we like it or not, bands will continue to license their music to brands, simply because it is so lucrative for both parties. Back in 2007, Apple unveiled its new iPod Nano, and to do so, it enlisted the help of Canada’s indie darling Feist. With her song “1234” playing on the Nano’s screen, the commercial introduced much of the world to Feist’s catchy hooks and charming melodies. Apple, in turn, solidified its brand image as the hip, more creative younger brother to a PC. After watching the ad, I suddenly had the urge to go out and get one of those colourful iPods. So, like some consumerist automaton, I drove to the Apple store and bought one. It wasn’t until much later that I realized that Apple had cunningly used an age-old marketing trick on me.
With Jeff Maertz
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c o l u m ns being labeled as a sellout, or believe that associating with a brand may tarnish the purity of their craft. There still is a stigma attached to advertising. Other bands and musicians accept some commercial licensing, but are strategic about which brands play their songs: Moby turned down a few requests for car commercials (but not all), and Chumbawamba (remember them!?) turned down a $1.5 million offer from Nike, but then accepted a different offer from GM. Each band draws a line in the sand in a different spot. Are these bands being overly idealistic, or just trying to maintain their integrity?
These days, though, with record sales floundering, musicians have become more receptive to the idea of having their song used to promote a product because they need the money. The Black Keys, for example, have licensed their songs out to a plethora of brands, including Subaru, American Express, Pokerstars, and AT&T. Many fans were calling them sellouts, but when asked to respond to those claims on CBC radio, the boys aptly defended themselves: “I would never call anybody a sellout for taking money to help them make art. And besides, would you rather hear our music in commercials, or Nickelback and Fergie?”
Op i n i o n s
For many bands today, their prime source of revenue doesn’t come from the traditional ways – selling records or concert tickets – but from commercials. In addition to licensing fees collected, commercials allow musicians to reach a broader audience and tap into the mainstream. How many songs have you been introduced to via a car commercial? If you’re anything like me, quite a few. The partnering of bands and brands can be a real win-win for both parties. Brands build stronger personalities – identities that are emotional and human – and bands collect licensing fees and have their songs heard in the living rooms
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of millions. As for you, you get to hear some good songs in between your Breaking Bad reruns. I, for one, will be contemplating the band-brand synergy as I watch the scantily-clad Victoria Secret girls strut around while M83’s “Midnight City” plays in the background. Jeff Maertz is a fourth year student of the Capilano school of business with a focus on marketing. Over the next few months, he will touch on topics ranging from small businesses to examining the effect current events may have on students. He is aiming to make the business world accessible and relevant, regardless of their field of study.
Edi tor // Marco Ferreira // o pi ni o ns @ c api l ano c o uri e r. c o m
B.C. LIBERALS FAILED PUBLIC EDUCATION That’s obviously why they hate teachers so much By Samantha Thompson // editor-in-chief
the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 19
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t’s so selfish,” I overheard a woman saying on the bus last week. “What about my kids? Why send home blank report cards? What if my daughter can’t get into university now?” Her companion agreed, adding, “It’s not like being a teacher is difficult. You get all that vacation time in the summer and all you do is teach kids!” Despite skewed public perception, teaching is anything but easy – and it continues to become more difficult as the government adds more strains to the teaching positions. Class sizes have fluctuated, but in 2010-2011, 3,627 classes exceeded the legislated maximum of 30 students per class (38 more than in 2009-2010) – a number which is still too high for one person to be adequately teaching. It is an unrealistic expectation to think that a room full of 30 students, who all have different learning requirements, can get the assistance they need to learn all they need to in order to be successful. In fact, class sizes are something the British Columbia Teachers’ Federation (BCTF) is trying to discuss in their current contract negotiations – even though mainstream media will have you believe that they are only asking for wage increases and union benefits. Since 1971, the BCTF has gone on strike three times. In that time period, the provincial government made it illegal for teachers to strike by deeming them an essential service, removed class size staffing and workload provisions, increased class sizes, and removed provisions that would guarantee support for students with special needs. It is because of changes like these that it quickly becomes necessary for teachers to strike. Unfortunately, each time, teachers are turned away from the bargaining table with less security and fewer reasonable negotiations. Since 1994, when the NDP made it so that the BCTF was the provincial representation for teachers in collective bargaining, only one collective agreement has been reached on negotiated terms – and that was in 1995. All of the other collective agreements have taken effect as a result of government intervention, typically in the form of new legislation. These lacklustre new contracts have not been inadequate because the teachers’ demands are too high – they have been inade-
quate because the provincial government has, time and time again, refused to sit down at the bargaining table and have a real conversation. We have seen this once more in teacher's job action this year. The teachers have been taking partial job action since Sept. 6, 2011, and although the BCTF and the B.C. government have met to negotiate, neither side has moved significantly on their requests. In the meantime, the B.C. Liberals have been running a series of ads that emphasize that the government is simply trying to help the teachers, if only they would let themselves be helped. Yet, strangely, the B.C. government is getting money for their propaganda advertisements from the pockets of you and I – taxpayer’s money. Conversely, the money for the BCTF advertisements (although they have been incorrectly accused of wasting education dollars to run these ads) comes directly from the union fees collected from the BCTF’s members. The members of the BCTF decide where they want the fees to be spent. On Feb. 28, the BCTF sat down with the B.C. Labour Relations Board to request the option to take the job action to the level of a strike, if negotiations were not able to happen. Permission was granted, so long as a list of guidelines were abided by. On the same day, George Abbott, the B.C. Minister of Education, submitted legislation to be voted on as soon as possible in the BC Legislature.
// Sarah Vitet Inaccurately titled the “Education Improvement Act”, Bill 22, if passed, will introduce a truckload of restrictions surrounding the teachers’ ability to strike (and slap them with a hefty fine if they do so anyway); immediately end the current strike and introduce a “cooling-off” period until Aug. 31, 2012; and appoint a mediator for the negotiations. It also prevents teachers from “bargaining class size, average class size, staffing levels, ratios or caseloads for another two years,” according to the BCTF. “I hope the teachers’ union will drop the rhetoric and help us move forward. I’m hoping cooler heads will prevail and that people will engage in the very meaningful mediation process that has been set out in this bill,” Abbott told the CBC. “This bill forces us into a mock mediation that has a predetermined outcome, and is designed to make teachers complicit in stripping the remaining protections in our own collective agreement,” said BCTF President Susan Lambert. In a recently released poll, of 400 British Columbians surveyed, 52 per cent were against an imposition of a contract by the government on teachers, and that would increase to 62 per cent if the contract included things like a wage freeze or weakened seniority provisions. In their initial request package, the BCTF was looking for an increase in bereavement time, compassionate care, a reduction in class sizes, an increase in special needs assistance, and an increase in salary, among other things.
The BCTF had to go to the Labour Board in the first place for permission to strike, because in 1996 the provincial government declared that teachers are an essential service in the public sector. Other professions with this label include paramedics, doctors, and firefighters – or, services related to the health, safety or the welfare of BC residents, or to the provision of primary or secondary education. Without these jobs, society could not function in an effective and progressive matter. Unfortunately, being referred to as an “essential service” is not synonymous with being referred to as a “valued service”. The teachers voted on Feb. 29 in favour of striking, with 87 per cent of votes case supporting a strike. They will be going on strike beginning the week of Mar. 5, although they are not allowed to form a picket line on school property. The teachers have had a particularly hard time with it, but they are not the only group of employees in the public sector who have asked for better conditions simply to be forced back into their place. Last year, we saw Canada Post take job action, and in the past civic employees and bus operators have joined the fight for better working conditions. It remains a sad truth that in many cases, people are only on the side of the strikers until the missing service became an inconvenience to them. Suddenly, it was “those stubborn mailmen” and “I can’t believe the garbage men haven’t compromised yet!” The information too often excluded, though, is that it is difficult to compromise or reach an agreement when the party you need to negotiate with either doesn’t show up to the table, or holds fast in their demands. Job action should never be seen as an inconvenience. You having to put up with no mail service, or garbage in the streets, or a blank report card for your child – all are a small price to pay if it means that people can argue that they deserve better. If we raise the standard of living for one sector, the rest will follow, and soon we may find ourselves with a well-paid labour force and a government that we can actually hold accountable. Wake up Canada – we do deserve better, but the government will continue to whimsically make things illegal unless we can prove to them that we know what they’re talking about, and we know that it’s not okay. The teachers deserve better, the students deserve better, and we as citizens deserve better. This is everyone’s fight.
opinions
Raise your own kids! Television ratings are adequate enough tools By Julian Legere // writer
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n accordance with what seems to be tradition, the Superbowl halftime show stirred up controversy a few weeks ago when M.I.A flipped off 114 million people. The event has been compared to the now-infamous Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction of 2004, which sparked an enormous debate (especially in the US) about broadcast decency. Since then, the debate has continued to rage and parents especially are concerned about the content to which their children are exposed. According to Statistics Canada, youth spent between six and seven hours a day in front of a computer or TV from 2007 to 2009. TV shows such as Criminal Minds, CSI, and Grey’s Anatomy, with their gruesome violence and fairly graphic sex, are consistently among the top 30 most watched in Canada, and shows produced by the American CW network (The Vampire Diaries and Gossip Girl among them), which are specifically targeted to the teen and youth demographic, have some of the most graphic sex and violence on network TV. With the prevalence of sex and violence in entertainment media, especially that which is targeted toward younger audiences, advocacy groups have been working to help keep families informed. One of the most prominent of these groups is the Parents Television Council, which has its own system of rating shows on major TV
networks for sex, violence, and language, which are easily accessible and clearly laid out in weekly television schedules. These ratings are available for every primetime show on NBC, ABC, CBS, FOX, and CW. That should be the key role of such an organization: providing information so that parents can make informed decisions for their kids, but all too often the focus is on activism. The PTC homepage features links to “contact the networks, sponsors, your elected officials, and the media” as well as a prominent page on how to file a complaint with the FCC. Occasionally, I concede, there will be a genuinely heinous flouting of decency on television, but parents should worry more about staying informed, and less about trying to change what’s on TV. Another source of information for families is the “official” ratings of shows and games. Canadian TV networks use content ratings, as well as the common “viewer discretion is advised” disclaimer. These ratings, and their American counterparts, have been criticized for lack of clarity and for the fact that they are only briefly shown. The ratings systems for video games, and also for movies, are based on similar principles, and have both stirred up their own shares of controversy over lenience and lack of consistency. I have to wonder, though, why so many people opt to criticize the ratings instead of simply spending a few minutes to figure out what they mean. In the age of Google, it is so easy to find information
that claiming not to understand the ratings is a bad excuse. Watching TV and playing video games are hugely popular ways for young people to spend their time. Yes, some of the shows and games are violent; yes some of them have sexual content; but between the cheerleaders and the full contact, so do most sports. Why don’t I hear anyone complaining that kids shouldn’t be exposed to a football game at BC Place? Why don’t parents stop complaining about what’s on their TV and sit down for five minutes to watch what’s on their TV so they can decide for themselves whether or not they want to let their kids watch or play it?
// Camille Segur Everyone says the government has no place in our bedrooms, but I don’t think it has any place in our living rooms either. Making these decisions the responsibility of the broadcasters and of the government is lazy at best and irresponsible at worst. It’s not the job of artists or entertainers to constantly censor themselves in case children are exposed to their work; it’s the job of parents to decide what’s appropriate for their kids, and to accept that in our modern world, you can’t protect them from everything. We have to pick our battles, and I’d say The Vampire Diaries is probably not one that’s really worth fighting.
Step the fuck off, Chris Brown Grammys don't negate physical abuse
By JJ Brewis // Art director
R
ihanna has been on top of the pop charts for nearly a decade, but like many stars, her personal life often comes before her success in the news. Just over three years ago, Rihanna and her then-boyfriend, fellow musician Chris Brown, both missed the Grammy Awards after a physical altercation between the two. The altercation involved Brown punching, biting, and verbally threatening Rihanna’s life while he was driving a car with her as the passenger. Rihanna was left with bruises all over her face, and images of her black eye and split lip spread all over media outlets. At the time, Rihanna, fresh off the suc-
“I’m so over people bringing this past sh-t up!!!” Chris Brown may be angry and violent, but he is not stupid. He knows he royally endangered his reputation and his career, yet he doesn’t address this by being humble or apologetic; he still turns to anger. Even weeks ago Brown made news by allegedly flipping out on a woman who took a photo of him outside a club. Brown snatched her iPhone and drove away shouting the words, “Bitch, you’re not putting that on the Internet!” Were Brown actually remorseful, he would take a public stand to admit his fault in hopes of swaying the public into understanding that it was a mistake and an isolated incident. Brown could have used his Grammy platform as a chance to say, “Hey, I fucked up, I’m sorry. I am working on becoming a better person. I don’t condone domestic violence.” It would have been a good start. But Brown squandered his chance and continues to do so. Recording Academy President Neil Portnow defended the inclusion of Brown, saying, “If we’re going to get in trying to personally evaluate artists in terms of their personal lives, that’s a slippery slope that we wouldn’t want to get into.” This cop-out of a response is complete bullshit. A particularly intriguing coincidence was the juxtaposition of the tributes to the late Whitney Houston, a notable sufferer of domestic violence, placed in between segments of Brown, the abuser. In a shocking twist, Rihanna herself appears to be back on the Brown bandwagon, personally inviting him to appear on a remix of her new single “Birthday Cake”, in which Brown’s lyrics say, “Girl,
I wanna fuck you right now/Been a long time, I’ve been missing your body”. The cycle of abused returning to abuser is not a new story. A major roadblock for many victims of domestic abuse is the fact that they are often drawn to the person doing the damage to them. Last week, Rihanna showed some strange side effects, as she responded to some backlash of fans and media questioning her return to Brown. Rihanna attempted to turn the criticism back on a few of her own fans, asking her fan club “Rihanna’s Navy” to cyber-bully some of those questioning her decision. Despite all the pro-Brown rallying, a few voices of reason have spoken. During the broadcast, country singer Miranda Lambert tweeted, “Chris Brown [performing] Twice? I don’t get it. He beat on a girl … Not cool that we act like that didn’t happen”. Additionally, WWE wrestler CM Punk has challenged Chris Brown to duke it out over the matter. This may be a publicity stunt, but the issue of abuse seems to be a sore spot, as Punk also took to Twitter, revealing, “I would like Chris Brown [to] fight somebody that can defend themselves. Me curb stomping that turd would be a Wrestlemania moment.” Despite the obvious problematic “violence for violence” rationale coming into play, Punk has a point when he gets to the root of the cause. Brown has not made an honest point in showing us that he’s changed, learned, or grown. As Punk says, “Picking up trash on the side of a highway does not make amends for repeatedly striking a woman to her face and sending her to a hospital.”
the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 19
// Shannon Elliott
cess of her feel good hit “Umbrella”, was America’s sweetheart, and the public rightfully took her side in the scandal. The dust has settled a bit, and everyone has a voice in the debate about Brown’s relentless celebrity which has, in the voice of adversity, managed to not only sustain, but thrive. Marking a three-year benchmark to his beating offense, Brown appeared at this year’s Grammy Awards, arguably the music business’ biggest showcase. Not only did he perform twice in the evening, but Brown took home the statue for Best R&B album, a prestige that has been bestowed upon such luminaries as Alicia Keys and Lauryn Hill in its time. Brown’s behaviour may not relay in his recorded work, but the fact of the matter remains that he’s still an abuser; a fact that the public is being swayed to forget. On paper, Brown was charged with six months of community service, five years of probation, and sent to domestic violence counselling. But has Brown’s lesson been learned? Moments after winning his Grammy awards, Brown took to his Twitter page, writing, “HATE ALL U WANT BECUZ [sic] I GOT A GRAMMY Now! That’s the ultimate FUCK OFF!” It’s clear that Brown, despite some support from the Grammy committee, has not quite learned his lesson. Brown’s violent history includes an angry outburst in 2011 in which Brown stormed out of a Good Morning America segment after being asked about Rihanna. He threw a chair through a window, ripped his shirt off, and left the scene. That day, Brown wrote on his Twitter account,
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Should Prostitution be legalized? A debate
For legalization Gurpreet Kambo
the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 19
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// news editor
t is ironic that prostitution as a profession is one of the most criminalized. Compare the sex trade to others that are also outlawed – drug dealing or murder. With murder, there is clearly a victim, as the person being murdered is (generally) not a willing participant. Drug dealing is a little bit different, in that it can be said those partaking in the services are willing. However, drug dealing depends on the severe and debilitating addictions that one develops from many drugs – which often defer a person’s ability to make reasonable decisions for themselves to one of pursuing their “next fix” – also shows that dealing drugs is not a victimless crime. What does this say about the sex trade, then? It is different in that the ones affected by the services of this profession aren’t being harmed. It has been argued that the victims are sex trade workers themselves – and this may be true; however, each singular act of providing sexual services for a “john” is one that both participants willingly involve themselves in, and is also one that gives the worker the ability to put food on their table. The victimization of the workers arises from the fact that one does not (to generalize) become a sex worker by choice, but due to one’s social circumstances. It also comes from the fact that their lower position on the social ladder allows johns to exploit them for sex. What’s noticeable, then, with sex trade workers is that the one offering the “service” is not the one who is doing anything wrong, and yet outlawing it unfairly punishes them. With prostitution being the “world’s oldest profession”, it is clear that regardless of police crackdowns, laws banning it, and so forth, it is not going anywhere. With this in mind, the concept of “harm reduction” proposes that it does more harm than good to make illegal certain things that may widely be considered morally objectionable. Prostitution and drugs are things that are often argued should be legalized, under the harm reduction banner. By making these practices legal they can be controlled and regulated by the government, ensuring that the violence and exploitation that regularly occur as part of these enterprises (and are surely sometimes just the cost of doing business), no longer happen.
where there were no more options: illegal human trafficking fuels an unsettling portion of the industry, and poor socio-economic circumstances, abusive relationships, and drug addictions turn many women to prostitution. The dangers of prostitution cannot be understated. According to a study cited in the a paper by the Child and Woman Abuse Studies Unit of the London Metropolitan University involving 240 women working in both indoor and street locations, “almost two thirds (63 per cent) reported violence from customers, and over a third (37 per cent) had been assaulted in the three months prior to the survey.” Legalization, while it takes prostitution out of the darkness and can offer protection in a formal way via governmental organizations, sadly doesn’t often work in the way that we hope it does. If we look to the Netherlands, for example, we see a sex trade that has ballooned since it was decriminalized. This is coloured in an even uglier light when we note that their child prostitution rate rose an estimated 300 per cent from 1996 to 2001, according to one study. Of the estimated 15,000 children, mostly girls, involved in the Dutch sex trade, an estimated 5,000 are illegally trafficked from Nigeria. Other countries which have legalized the sale of sex to various degrees, such as Germany and Australia, have also experienced increased demand for workers in the sex trade. This demand results in foreign workers, including illegally trafficked women and girls, being brought into Against legalization the country. Celina Kurz // copy editor Unfortunately, the alternative to this, criminalho is a prostitute? The question is ization, can put sex workers in danger as well, by deceptively simple, but once you pushing the practice behind closed doors. As begin thinking about it, there is no stated above, many of the women involved in one definitive answer. As soon as people begin to sex work can see no other options. To take one try to answer the question of whether or not pros- example, drug addiction is a key factor in many titution should be criminalized, we put a label on sex worker’s lives. what exactly a sex worker is – and the fact is that Statistics on prostitution are difficult to find there are as many different kinds of sex workers due to the quasi-illegal nature of the work, but as there are kinds of women. one survey, cited in a paper by the Child and The dominatrix who works out of her own Woman Abuse Studies Unit of the London house; the high-paid escort who drives a Metropolitan University, showed that, of the Mercedes; the often-overlooked male sex work- population sample of street workers, 62 per cent ers. However, one truly sad fact about our world stated that “their main reason for involvement is that a large number of the women involved in prostitution was to fund a drug habit, primarin the sex trade – and street prostitution in par- ily heroin.” Due to the nature of drug addiction, ticular – are there because they reached a point criminalization of prostitution is virtually ineffecWhat making them illegal does ensure is that the business of selling sex is regulated by the pimps, the real criminals in this venture. It ensures that, unlike other “legal” workers, they are not protected by any legislation that the government can pass to ensure their safety, their fair treatment, or their remuneration in the workplace. Furthermore, to put forth what may be a radical notion, what’s to say that it is impossible a man or woman wouldn’t want to legitimately pursue this as an occupation? In this case, there is simply no reason why it should then be illegal, because in that case both the service provider and consumer are participating of their own volition – in that case, what business is it of anyone’s, let alone the government, to tell them not to? For clarity’s sake, the simple act of exchanging sex for money is not illegal in Canada, though it is effectively illegal because any activities surrounding the act are. Regardless of whether the practice is morally objectionable, or whether or not a person wishes to partake in it, prostitution should be legalized. Its continued criminalization is a result of a large part of Canadian society considering it to be morally objectionable; however, morals are not what one should set laws by, and those that object should realize that its continued criminalization harms and victimizes more people than the practice itself.
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// Tiaré Jung tive unless the necessary rehabilitative supports are also instated. If we don’t want women to turn to prostitution, we need to have safe alternatives where they can turn. Many countries, when contemplating reform to prostitution law, have begun to look to Sweden as a working example. In Sweden, prostitution itself is not illegal, but purchasing sex is, and part of the punishment is that the offenders names are printed in newspapers. This is interesting in that it flips the shame solidly onto the shoulders of the client rather than the prostitute, and has been effective in reducing the sex trade in Sweden. However, according to Patty Kelly, anthropologist and author of Lydia’s Open Door: Inside Mexico’s Most Modern Brothel, this hasn’t been entirely favourable to sex workers in Sweden: while the number of men looking to purchase sex has gone down, those that remain are more violent. Any action that forces prostitution into secrecy makes the profession more dangerous for the women who are participating in it – and this includes laws that target sex buyers. One thing to remember is that, for those who do work in the sex trade, it is a job – they want clients, and they want to be paid well. Regardless of what the laws say, they will find ways to work around it. At the end of the day, we must admit that prostitution is alive in our culture, and choosing to criminalize it will only result in women and girls being at the brunt of assault. What I am ultimately against is not legalization or criminalization, but rather, the attempt to make cut-and-dried solutions for an immensely complex problem that is not going to go away unless we make drastic efforts to change the framework of our society. What we need are creative solutions that emerge from discussions that include input from women from all degrees of this trade. The ugly side of prostitution – the violence, the sexism, the virtual slavery – is not something that is going to go away simply by making it illegal, and evidence shows that decriminalization, too, does not do enough. There will still be women in poverty with no choices and no safe place to go home to, and therein lies the root of the problem. Both complete criminalization and complete decriminalization are band-aids on a gaping wound that requires complex care.
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Edi tor // Samant ha Thompson // e di to r@ c api l ano c o uri e r. c o m
IT’S ALL IN THE FAMILY Jaqueline Caverly talks about her volleyball roots, stats, and playing defensive By Erik Horn // sports writer
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ike many kids growing up, Jacqueline Caverly tried her hand at the usual array of sports such as baseball, soccer, and swimming. However, the third-year business administration student found her calling in volleyball, where she is currently a member of the Capilano squad and leading the women of the PacWest for digs (averaging 4.67 a game, with 350 overall). Caverly comes from a sports family, and that’s putting it lightly. She and her brother Dan are both in their third year of playing volleyball for Capilano, and Dan is second in the league for digs (averaging 3.28 a game, with 246 overall). “I don’t think there’s really competition between us,” says Caverly about the volleyball relationship between her and her brother. “We’ve always played together, and we used to set up a court in our front yard. We’d invite people over and we’d play and practice all the time.” The ties to volleyball in the family do not end there. Their parents, Tom and Sandra Caverly, not only played volleyball, but also met playing the sport. Caverly’s dad, Tom, eventually went on to work for Volleyball B.C. With a set of parents who were both avid volleyball players and a pair of kids with a burgeoning volleyball skill set,
it seems only natural that there would be some good matches between the four. “We used to [play them] when we were little, and [my parents] would run all these plays and try to trick us,” says Caverly. She and Dan got their revenge, though: “Sometimes they would play Dan and I against just my dad, or just my mom. … I think it was hard for my parents that first day when they realized they couldn’t win against us anymore.” There is also a third sibling, Katherine – however, she doesn’t play volleyball. Instead, she plays soccer for UBC, and before UBC she played for the Canadian U-17 squad. Although Caverly has been having a fantastic season at Capilano, she remains humble: “Stats can sometimes be misleading,” she says. “It always feels good to see your name at the top of a list, but our defensive style affects it, the amount of playtime, the amount of games and our opponents … It’s something that I’m really proud of, but everyone is really strong … a lot of people are really focused on reaching the goal.” Their head coach, Wayne Dejsardins, has built the Capilano women’s volleyball program from the ground up, leading them to the playoffs every year over the course of 13 seasons. “Everyone knows how much work he does, he puts hours and hours and hours in … going over game tape, looking up all the stats,” says Caverly.
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// Jason Jeon “He knows just about everything about just about everyone … it’s really good to have him on your side as a coach.” By the end of this season, Wayne Desjardins will no longer be leading the Blues women into the playoffs. After a lifetime involved in the sport, Desjardins will be hanging up the whistle: “It will be hard without him next year, but I’m sure that whoever they get will be able to continue on with what Wayne has built,” says Caverly. Despite her small stature (she stands 5’5), Caverly found her place in the sport by playing a defensive game. “When you’re growing
up, if you’re small, [the coaches] kind of ignore you in terms of offence … It’s really good that there’s a position that I can play that I don’t have to be forced to show my offensive skills,” she says. With three more season left to play at Capilano, a new head coach on the way, and several new draft classes to come into what may possibly end up being a completely revamped system, it will be interesting to see where Caverly goes with her game, and how the entire squad deals with some of the challenges that they may be facing in the coming season.
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Edi tor // MIKE BASTIEN // c abo o s e . c apc o uri e r@ gmai l . c o m
Eastbound up a leather-banded wristwatch that lay next to the glass, registered the time, and put it in the pocket of the coat resting on the seat next to him. The man finished the drink and moved to the back of the train car in the same direction as the stewardess. “I was wondering if you could help me with something.” She looked up at him and smiled. “Would you like another drink? That was the last of the rye, but there are plenty of choices.” She stood up, smoothing her uniform with the palms of her hands. “No, thank you. I have a strange favour to ask.” “Oh?” “There’s a woman in the front end of the car … She’s an old flame of mine, we dated back when I was in college. I was wondering if you could pass a message on to her – I’d say hello myself but I figure that this would be a laugh.” He pulled a folded sheet of paper out of his pocket and smiled roguishly. “You scoundrel. Well, it would give the three of us something to do, I suppose.” “I knew I could count on you. I’ll wait in my seat … She’s the brunette in the seat closest to the front.” The stewardess walked past the man and towards the front of the coach car. He took three steps towards his seat, then paced backwards into the room with the refreshment cart and
drew the curtain, dividing himself from the passenger section of the train. The noise was far greater in this small room next to the door that opened into the two-foot gap between the coach and the privately rented luxury car. His mind formed an image of the inside of the neighbouring traincar: well-insulated, free from noise, velveted, pristine and polished for its solitary passenger. The man drew back the curtain slightly, and looked back into the cabin at the stewardess making her way down the aisle, letter in hand. He shut the curtain and turned to the grey steel door and stepped towards it, pushing down the sleeves of his sweater and bracing for the wind and cold. The din from the shaking and rattling of the train was loud and inconsistent enough that none of the passengers noticed its increase as the steel door at the tail end of the train was forced open. The man had planned on this, just as he had arranged for the seat closest to the steward’s quarters of the train, and just as his employers had ensured that this specific, battered train would be making this particular run eastward with the luxury cabin and its one occupant in tow. He approached the open door and crouched slightly, advancing with one arm extended into the snow and wind. He reached the metal grate outside of the door frame and bent down, unable now to check behind himself for the stewardess’ return but
counting on the confusion of the message to buy him as much time as he needed. He bent down against the blasting wind and slowly turned the cold metal lever that extended from the linkage of the train car. The lever released and the man stood upright and turned towards the door with the scraping of metal on metal ringing in his ears over the howling of the winter air. The sound peaked in a screech of rusted iron and then silenced itself as the disconnected luxury car disappeared into the whirling whiteness behind. He closed the heavy steel door behind him, sprang across the steward’s quarters, pulled back the curtain and slid into his seat where he sat rubbing the circulation back into his hands. At that moment, the stewardess passed along his message to the stranger at the end of the train. From where he was seated, he could not see the woman’s reaction. After a brief pause, the stewardess made her way back to his end of the train. “I’m sorry, she says she doesn’t know you. I guess you got the wrong girl?” “No, that was her, all right… I suppose it’s been a long time since my college days.” The stewardess smiled a small sympathetic smile at the seated man and walked past him, returning with the clattering drink cart. “Refreshments?” By Andrew Zuliani // Writer
the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 19
he man in the navy slacks and grey knit sweater shifted his weight in the faded yellow and unevenly padded seat. He had been on many trains in his long career, but none quite like this. The train seemed louder inside the coach than it was outside on the platform, and this loudness was not a constant thrumming that could easily be tuned out. Instead, the train bashed and clanged its way towards Saint-Jérome and offered its passengers no relief aside from the first, second, and third servings of refreshments that made their rounds, balanced on a clattering cart. This cart navigated the tufted and ruined carpet in the hands of a stewardess whose voice became more and more hoarse and worn from her afternoon locked in a shouting match with a steam locomotive. She came to the man with the grey sweater and offered him a drink, which he accepted, and then disengaged the wheel locks with a click and rolled past the last row of seating uninterrupted save for the clamour of the train. The man held the drink in his right hand and leaned towards the window, watching the snowflakes on the glass melt diagonally into droplets and collect in a thin line of water that streamed off of the outside sill onto the side of the train and out of sight. He turned his head and surveyed the inside of the cabin and then, lowering his eyes, took a drink. He placed the cocktail onto the small table dividing the facing seats and picked
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the capilano courier | vol. 45 issue 19
futuresports/lovesounds
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Calvinball Gurpreet Kambo
Future Gladiators Erik Horn
Canni-Ball Mike Bastien
Taser Ball Colin Spensley
For those of you who can’t stomach too many (or any, like me!) rules in your games, Calvinball is for you! The game was rediscovered by archaeologists within the pages of an ancient manuscript called Calvin and Hobbes, a book which proved to be a goldmine for researchers of the late 20th century, a time in human history about which little is known. Calvinball quickly spread around the world and became very popular – essentially the only rule is that there are no rules, and athletes make them up as they go along. Naturally, this means that games depend largely on what the tendencies of participants are, with games that sometimes end in violence. Historians have theorized that the ‘Cold War’ of the 20th century was merely an elaborate game of Calvinball between US and Soviet presidents, which nearly ended in nuclear obliteration. You should play it!
In a not-so-distant future, when humans have no regard for one another as sentient beings, it is due to an ever-present feed of entertainment through an electronic device installed in their brain in a sort of Black Mirror/William Gibson-esque fashion. The sport, which reins supreme during these times, is one that pits man against man, two contemporary gladiator’s fighting each other to the brink of death without any awareness of the metaphor they are acting out. The two men step into a modern coliseum, which looks like the lovechild of a warehouse and the gym of an under-funded inner-city school. Once in the ring, they begin to beat the living hell out of each other until one of the participants either gives up or gets knocked unconscious. The people in the bleachers will cheer regardless of which participant is having future dementia beaten into their brain. Outside of the stadium, fans will watch the event via direct feed into their device; they will sit and cheer, unaware of their surroundings, as someone next to them does the exact same. But they will not be cheering together.
After surviving a meteor, zombie outbreak, and the rise of the Coconut Empire, the resources on earth have become scarce. In order to survive, the few remaining humans have formed primeval sports teams, such as the Edmonton Wheat Lobsters, the Oakland Dictionaries, and the Harlem Globe Trotters (they considered apocalypse to be no more then a slight inconvenience.) In this full-contact sport, two teams compete against each other atop a giant rotating disc in order to win food. The rules are simple: each team starts at opposite ends of the disc, then a medicine ball is fired from a cannon towards the disc; whichever team gets the ball to the goal located in the center of the disc wins. The tricky part is getting it there as the field is littered with obstacles such as giant pendulums, pitfalls, and on a few occasions, cyborg bears. After the game is over, the winners partake in a Donner party as they eat the losers in celebration.
You see, the main issue with taser ball is that no one wins. Not only does nobody win, it’s also not very likely that any of the participants are having a very good time. The moment the novelty of throwing around a comically large soccer ball wears off is probably the second you get that lovely 30,000 volts of electricity shot through your body. And you may laugh but this is a real thing: macho guys with tattoos and mohawks run back and forth on a tiny field trying to toss a ball into a net. But watch out! If you enter the “TaZ ZoNe”, you gunna get tased bro! Watching buff jock dudes crumple to the ground in a state of electrified agony is strangely satisfying. My theory is these guys are all ex-convicts who’ve been released on early parole that stipulates they have to subject themselves to a game that closely emulates their crime, which will then be shown to millions on television. Up next, “Break and Enter BeatBall” or “Domestic Dispute DieAthalon.”
// Mike Bastien