WĀHINE

Hostile climate

BY MELODY THOMAS

If you’re new to Wellington, the mild, warm weather which greets us at the start of September might lull you into a false state of hopefulness. Perhaps you put your stockings and polyprops away, or go out without a coat. Hell, you might even shave your legs. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you you’d have fallen for a classic annual Pōneke weather gag in failing to remember about Shitsville.

Don’t be disappointed in yourself, we’ve all done it. Even those of us who’ve lived in Wellington forever are sometimes glamoured into trusting the seasonal calendar followed by the rest of the country, forgetting that the Wellington microclimate follows its own rules. The optimism with which we greet this time of year is actually a core feature of Shitsville: because the really deplorable weather is always preceded by a patch of big wide blue – “Spring 1” – which seems to exist solely to get our hopes up. It’s why the creator of Shitsville, Adam Shand, whose “Realistic Wellington Calendar” is locally famous online and has since adorned a charity t-shirt (with another tee currently in the making), says he wishes he’d called the season “Bait and Switch”, or “False Hope”. A friend of Shand’s calls it Sprinter, or “the battle between spring and winter”.

Spring 1 arrives on our doorsteps about the time spring is supposed to arrive – unusual for any New Zealand season – and is the stuff of fairytales and Disney movies, bobbing daffodil faces, and bounding lambs in verdant green. The fine spell compels every one of the city’s inhabitants to lop off their jeans midthigh and skip out their front doors, singing “lovely weather we’re having!” at passersby. Spring 1 lasts for about two glorious weeks, if we’re lucky, and then all hell breaks loose.

It’s hard to describe the weather of Shitsville accurately, given that unpredictability is its whole thing. These are the days of heading off to work on a clear and calm morning and returning, sodden, in a thundering downpour. Of “unprecedented” hail storms and wind gusts shaking the house so violently you miss an actual earthquake (which happened last year). Shitsville’s guiding principle is havoc. It is the destroyer of umbrellas – it’s only a matter of time before it figures out how to inside-out one of those Blunt numbers. Shitsville hits out of nowhere – you might miss it completely if it weren’t for the baffled refrain sailing constantly on the wind between September and December: “YOU CALL THIS SPRING?!”

But part of me actually likes Shitsville. Sure, a mild spring of blossoms and reliable sunshine would probably be better (certainly for those of us with mental health struggles), but the wild weather of Shitsville feels more fitting for what spring actually represents: the tearing apart of earth’s seams as new life thrusts itself into the air. It’s like childbirth – raw and animal and visceral. It shakes you and soaks you and lights the sky in a flash, and while it isn’t comfortable there’s no denying that in this very moment, you are alive. You are a part of this mad storm of life, connected to every living thing around you, and as the earth wakes and begins to shake off the dormant quiet of winter, you feel a pull in your body asking you to do the same. For Matariki, we took a moment to pause and reflect on where we’d been, where we found ourselves and where we wished to go. This, now, is the moment where intent becomes action. Take a look at what you are carrying. What is weighing you down? What could you choose to leave behind? Place them behind you. It’s time to move.

TOHE | PROTEST

40 years on from the Springbok tour, TOHE | PROTEST explores how escalating tensions between activists, police, rugby fans and politicians were presented by both government broad casters and activist filmmakers. A free exhibition by Ngā Taonga Sound & Vision. 23 Jul – 11 Dec Te Puna Foundation Gallery, National Library Building, 70 Molesworth Street, Wellington. www.ngataonga.org.nz/tohe

Feierabendmusik

Come and listen to classical and modern sounds that local pianists coax out of our baby grand piano to celebrate the end of the week. Stay for the hour or just 15 minutes. The last Friday of every month, 5-6pm at the Goethe-Institut in Wellington.

27 Aug, 24 Sep, 29 Oct Goethe-Institut (level 6), 150 Cuba Street, Wellington. goethe.de/nz Toitū Te Whenua

The Land Will Always Remain Ian-Wayne Grant, Simon Lardelli, Jacqui Colley, Jenna Packer and Bruce Foster investigate forces which shape our environment. The exhibition’s kaupapa focuses on matters that affect all of us in Aotearoa and around the world: our physical environment, the land, our home, actions, history, and how this shapes our identity.

4 Sep – 14 Nov 12 Bruce Street, Masterton. www.aratoi.org.nz

Throw away the Script

The NZ Improv Festival returns with its annual celebration of improvised theatre in all its forms. From comedy to drama, musicals to mystery, and plenty of mischief, there’s something for everyone. Eighteen unique shows over five days at the wonderful BATS Theatre - don’t miss a moment!

12–16 Oct BATS Theatre 1 Kent Terrace, Wellington. www.improvfest.nz

{Suite} Westra Museum

New Zealand Arts Icon photographer Ans Westra is responsible for the most comprehensive documentation of New Zealand culture over the last 60 years. The {Suite} Westra Museum is a dedicated exhibition space for Ans' photographs. Prints are available for sale.

Wed–Fri 11am–5pm, Sat 11am–4pm. 241 Cuba Street. Instagram: @answestra suite.co.nz Still Life | Wild Places

A new generation of contemporary women artists have taken over the rooms of Katherine Mansfield’s childhood home with installations, including ethical taxidermy, jewellery, paintings and photography. This exhibition and event series, curated by The Metropolitan Club, is inspired by Mansfield’s beliefs about the relationship between humans and the natural world.

7 Aug – 31 Oct 25 Tinakori Road Thorndon. katherinemansfield.com