WAHINE

Play

BY MELODY THOMAS

Just like that, we find ourselves in the final throes of 2022. I know it’s a familiar feeling, as the Halloween decorations come down and the Christmas push begins, but this year the urge to avoid eye contact with the New Year feels even stronger. Weren’t we just wishing goodbye to 2021? How is it nearly 2023 already?

That said, nothing could persuade me to return to winter. The season is always a struggle, but this past one – one of Wellington’s wettest on record – was especially harrowing. Every family I know was plagued with illness: covid, flu, stomach bugs, a vague but persistent malaise. The longest period of wellness I experienced was three weeks, and I believed it to be a real accomplishment, until I bragged to someone who doesn’t have kids and they said, “Is that all?” I reckon this is one of the most excruciating parts of parenthood, one you can never prepare yourself for: that you can’t rest when you’re unwell. Everyone else is always worse off, more in need of care, and you just have to keep going: pushing through nausea and pain and dizziness and headaches to make sure they’re all ok.

So I cannot overstate how ready I am for summer. To be healed by the rays of the sun and the cooling kisses of breeze and ocean water. I’m ready for strawberries and raspberries and cherry tomatoes! To lie on a blanket under a tree devouring a book as insects buzz about me. To run and bike and hike in the hills. Please, Wellington, give us a stunner! We’ve never needed it so badly!

Through winter, I spend a lot of time advocating rest as an antidote to the ceaseless busyness expected of us, which is driving more and more people to burnout. There is rest to be found in summer, too. But there’s also another antidote to exhaustion at the hands of capitalism, and it’s one that’s perfectly suited to the hedonistic heights of the season, play.

Play is defined as an activity engaged in for enjoyment or recreation rather than any serious or practical purpose. It’s the difference between riding a bike for the joy of it and doing so for the commute. Our kids are great at playing, and once upon a time we were too. But at some point along the road we forgot how to do it, coming to see it as pointless or a waste of time. But play in adulthood is linked to better stress management and general wellbeing. Romantic partners who play together are more likely to ride out the tough times than those who don’t. If you’re looking for a practical reason to play, surely one of these is enough?

If play is something you’re keen to relearn, but you’re not sure where to start, ask yourself what you loved to do as a kid. If tree climbing was your jam, get yourself up some trees or sign up for rock climbing. If you loved theatre or dance, join a class or an amateur troupe! Pick up a pen and start drawing again, take up roller-skating, play frisbee, bake elaborate cakes for no occasion, jump off the highest diving board, go ten-pin bowling, decorate a dolls’ house, join a choir, dance while you cook, find an old film camera and start taking photos, blow up a balloon and don’t let it touch the ground, make a daisy chain crown and be queen for the day. The possibilities are endless.

And if at any point a voice pops up in your head saying “this is stupid” or “you look like an idiot”, pause for a moment and write the thought down. Write down every self-critical thought that comes to mind, as well as the things other people told you that made you feel not good enough, that stopped you playing in the first place. Put it all out in the open where you can see how horrible it is, how the weight of carrying it all around has been crushing you, and then screw it up and put it in the bin where it belongs.

In a world where productivity is the be-all and end-all, where every hour is accounted for and time spent on something with no practical purpose is “wasted,” play is a radical act. It is also replenishing, reminding us of the joy life has to offer, and giving us more energy and motivation to fight the fights required of us. But even if this weren’t all true, if happiness in the moment were the only outcome, play would never be a waste of time. You deserve joy. You deserve to feel good for the sake of feeling good. You deserve every beautiful, carefree experience coming for you this summer. Don’t squander a moment of it.