Cardiff Times - December 2022

DECEMBER 2022

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10/11/2022 16:56

Welcome

EDITORS LETTER

Hi all,

ours visits Care Homes on Christmas Day which is such a though�ul thing to do. A friendly face or call can make Welcome to our December issue. such a difference. It’s also the �me for gi�ing which brings me onto a memory as a child. I had a gi� under the November was filled with many different celebra�ons tree which was heavy, and the package was in a medium including our daughter’s birthday. On the same day we a�ended the Cardiff High Autumn Concert. The children’s sized box. This gi� must be special, so I le� it �ll last to open. The moment arrived and I peeled back the paper performances were outstanding and would have given professionals a run for their money. Bravo Cardiff High for and opened the box only to find crystal drinking glasses.

Grown-ups were chuckling around the room. I was not pu�ng on a fantas�c event. amused to say the least. I might pay them back one day.

Unfortunately, for most of last month our son has had a However you spend Christmas, we hope you enjoy this never ending cold, cough and bug that just stubbornly refuses to go away. We’ll be glad to see the end of it so he special �me of year. can back to playing sports and a�ending school.

Seasons Gree�ngs to you all, Congratula�ons to the Welsh football team for playing at the current World Cup in Qatar, a tremendous achievement for a country so small. Unfortunately, the team did not progress out of the group stage but for Wales to actually reach the World Cup was a triumph in itself and something the whole country can be proud of.

Christmas is the �me for thinking of others. We should be thinking of others at all �mes but even more so at Christmas. If you are alone, please reach out to others and ask for help or a li�le company. An acquaintance of

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Serendipity(1)

byWyn Evans

Many’s the time I’ve been mistaken, and many times confused Yes, and I’ve often felt forsaken, and certainly misused; Oh, but I’m alright, I’m alright, I’m just weary to my bones Still, you don’t expect to be bright and bon vivant So far away from home, so far away from home.

And I don’t know a soul who’s not been battered, I don’t have a friend who feels at ease I don’t know a dream that’s not been shattered, or driven to its knees; But it’s alright, it’s alright, for we lived so well so long Still, when I think of the road we’re travelling on I wonder what’s gone wrong, I can’t help it, I wonder what’s gone wrong.

And I dreamed I was dying I dreamed that my soul rose unexpectedly And looking back down at me Smiled reassuringly; And I dreamed I was flying And high up above my eyes could clearly see The Statue of Liberty sailing away to sea And I dreamed I was flying.

We come on the ship they call The Mayflower, We come on the ship that sailed the moon, We come in the age’s most uncertain hours, And sing an American tune Oh, and it’s alright, it’s alright, it’s alright You can’t be forever blessed Still, tomorrow’s going to be another working day And I’m trying to get some rest That’s all I’m trying to get some rest.(2) *** Serendipity(1): the faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for...

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... which is precisely my experience in preparing this month’s column. I have been trying to find Christmas content that reflects hope whilst being realistic about the state of today’s world.

China is still in compulsory Covid lockdown while its Uighur population is being locked in for compulsory re-education and possibly forced sterilisation. China has unilaterally torn up the ‘one country, two systems’ accord reached with the United Kingdom over the future of Hong Kong, and is making warlike noises over the future of Taiwan. Pakistan has been hit by dreadful flooding. Africa, Afghanistan and Albania are shedding great swathes of their populations to emigration (though the nature of their migrations differ significantly). The beast Putin has let rip the dogs of war and havoc has ensued, creating yet another refugee crisis, this time throughout Europe where millions are far away from home. Across the Atlantic we have ex-President Trump and President Biden seemingly in competition to prove who would make the worst second-term President.

Bolsonaro declared war on the Brazilian rain-forest. Iran is in uproar over the rights of women set against an obscurantist, Wahhabist interpretation of Islam. Critical Race Theory is working its way through universities like salts.

The list goes on.

Then I came across this quote below, about Paul Simon’s wonderful song ‘American Tune’.

The melody that Simon set his words to was from an old Lutheran hymn (O sacred head now wounded), made famous by Johann Sebastian Bach in his St Matthew Passion. Simon says: “I first heard it [the Lutheran melody] and…in fact, it was Art Garfunkel who first showed it to me in 1968. We were going to do a Christmas album, and we didn’t want to do the standard Christmas repertoire. We didn’t want to do ‘Silent Night’ and those things. So we were looking for different material. And Artie said ‘listen to this melody, ’cause it’s really good, and try to write a lyric to it for Christmas.’ So I listened to it, and it was a beautiful melody. And I wrote a Christmas lyric to it”.

Regular readers will know that I favour this song.

First, there is the link to JS Bach’s Passion. Over a lifetime, I have been lucky enough to collect recordings of the complete extant works of the mighty Bach. Of course, the Christian Passion narratives relate to the short, final period in the life of Jesus Christ (from the Latin verb patior, passus sum; “to suffer, bear, endure”, from which also “patience, patient”, etc.). Thus, they relate to Easter not Christmas. So imagine my delight at the serendipity of finding one of my favourite composer’s melodies being chosen by one of my favourite ‘pop’ musicians as the frame for Christmas lyrics. Here’s Simon again: “and the album, of course, it never came to pass, we never recorded it. And the melody was just ‘there’ since 1968 in my head”(3)(4). It never quite became a modern Christmas hymn but it might have had the album gone ahead.

When I looked at the words that Simon finally settled upon to accompany Bach’s tune, I saw parallels with this century’s great migrations of peoples between continents and relocations between countries, of the shadow of nuclear and climate catastrophes, of actual and threatened wars: “We come on a ship they called The Mayflower, We come on a ship that sailed the moon, We come in the age’s most uncertain hours”. Of course this is a case-specific reference, of a time and of a place – the Pilgrim Fathers setting forth from Europe to America, in that age’s most uncertain hours. They looked to sing an American tune. I.e., they looked to

create a break with their past, to move forward to a new society. Arguably, there is an element of American Exceptionalism creeping in. Nixon had been re-elected with a landslide in 1972, but the song was written, recorded, and released in 1973; the Vietnam and compulsory military draft ended in 1973, and Nixon resigned in 1974.

As Bowden writes “it didn’t feel like a victorious time. To many Americans it was a troubling and confusing time, a time when many people on both the left and the right, didn’t know how to feel”. That rings true for today too, this Christmas time, 2022. One of the things I like about this song is how it doesn’t wrap everything up with a pretty pink bow. There is a bleakness there that also talks to us in 2022: “you can’t be forever blessed”, while even that personification (petrification?!) of freedom, the statue of liberty is “sailing away to sea”. ‘American tune’ is a multi-layered song that has resonance today, the more so if we see that it can pass for more than just an American Tune.

Season’s greetings to you and yours, from The Girl, The Boss, and me.

Footnotes: 1.https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ serendipity 2.American Tune, Song by Paul Simon 3.PAUL SIMON AUDIO INTERVIEW CLIP HTTPS://VIMEO.COM/321622809, cited by Marshall Bowden in...

4.https://www.newdirectionsinmusic.com/anamerican-tune-by-paul-simon/

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‘And Another Thing...’

The Magic of Christmas

byVince Nolan

At this time of goodwill to all men (and women and everybody else of course), I find myself increasingly annoyed with people who have no respect for anything. I was in a wellknown supermarket on 11th November (I know, living the dream), when it was announced over the Tannoy (if there is such a thing these days), that there would be two minutes silence at 11 a.m. to mark Armistice Day and our War Dead. A buzzer went off and everyone stood in silent contemplation apart from three older women on the next table to me who proceeded to talk throughout the silence. I summoned up my best AngloSaxon expletives to encourage them to shut up. They then became offended at me and left to assorted boos from the other customers, whereas I bought assorted booze and left. Some people.

I mentioned previously that we had “adopted” a crow family or more accurately, they had adopted us. There is Russell, Cheryl and Joe who now all arrive when I whistle to help themselves to food waste scraps. Unfortunately they have become very discerning. Who would have known that they preferred Swiss Gruyere cheese to Italian smoked Mozzarella? Talk about spoilt.

Me: A cannibal once took my sister to see a Russell Crowe movie.

Friend: Gladiator?

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Me: No I really miss her.

President Biden recently announced the appointment of Rashee Sanook as the new UK PM to a waiting US audience. That just about sums it up. However, I see Mr Trump has now put himself forward for the 2024 election. In one way the ensuing bad and mad publicity will distract us all from our own less than sparkling Government but who knows what Trumpy will do with Putin if he is re-elected?

It’s panto time again. What is the difference between Trump and a flying pig? The letter F. Good leadership is less about the leader and more about the ship. Just saying.

Local pub talk. Bloke with his friend: “Just finished have you mate?” Mate: “No I’m still in work, duh!” Same place, sat by two heating engineers who were comparing which car parks in Cardiff they could drive their vans into because of height restrictions.

I had to stick pins in my eyes to relieve the boredom. Then they went “international” and included Weston-Super-Mare in the discussion too. I guessed that they had few friends outside of work.

The Current Mrs Nolan and I watched a bloke in a pub order mayonnaise and chips and then pour the mayo onto his serviette and then dip his chips into it. As we saw it, the options were keep the mayo in the pot and dip the chips into it or pour the mayo

Talking of intolerance, I am led to believe that the

Wilson who was jointly away called on a St.George Peter’s Rugby Club bus is anybody’s apping skills and picked the little guy term heckler originated from the textile trade, where stealing mail at gunpoint guessconvicted but it wouldofcertainly have caused a major back into the wild. No harm nd him something wrong is called a typo.

So hemp if smacking kids law introduced in Walestoforheckle was to tease oritcomb-out flax or andI say wassomething sentenced toisdeath bya talko? diplomatic incident. ……..well, until next door’s cat got 2022.

Whilst being welcomed by most wrong it called ensure that we had properly warmed up sincefibres. we didn’t wantmodern to pull anyfor drinking The was coined in Dundee And now some What doparticles you call realised that our celebration coincided with to So: “Any ofmeaning awould number of subatomic right-minded people it us will of course bea minimum nothing Furthermore, aGnus: typo on a headstone be Just beten clear: Did you hear about the urologist hanging.

He refused a pardon in 1833 . Unfortunately, only six of turned up and of were required or the a confused gnu?

A Bewildebeest. in thedue earlya carrying 19th century.

Aselectric thetypos hecklers toiled in the Stereophonics and Tom Jones being a fractional charge, postulated but bad news for the Cardiff under 14’s grave error?

Between and autocorrect s off. I engaged four old-timers who were the sold bar have been who(could was eaten bythe bear?

He was meteorologist unting, if Ithe were illegally hunting for inhad as building blocks the hadrons.

Quarks at Principality Stadium which from President Andrew Jackson andthe Lederhosen Formation Slap Dancing Ensemble it’s getting harder toof post stuffaread these days.

One the factory, one of athe team would out days’ entionedout ones from the Taff Vale) and asked them whether they fancied having a Reindeer are overrated, particularly at this have not been directly observed but theoretical the City hotels.

The concerts were then (meaty urologist, oh please yourselves). ould I have questionable morels? who will no longer be slapping each other as tiny mistake and your whole post is urined. news and others would butt in with constant was executed after Supreme Court y tour and free beerand for the afternoon.

Fearing some of the honey trap, they tookonthe time of year.

Anyway, who laughed and predictions based their existence have cancelled weunless found athey City centre hotelkind ofa their routines are given The Leader of the Opposition and I were sitting in youpart callfor deer who has lost both onvincing that my offer was genuine.

Cautiously, they agreed to join us.

Picture the called Rudolph names?

Olive, the other interruptions and a stream of “furious debate.” been confi rmed experimentally.”

Ohwanted hurrah! However, theMinister. fickle finger ruled The world has taken strangeiftwist –please! at leastWith he could turn ita down he special £80, dispensation by our First scene, 5pm onasa for sunny reindeer. ourinsocially local, The Funky Furlough, ng accident?

No eye deer.

And mesons and baryons, we could be of fate (presumably the middle one),this then the parts I collated seem to occupy.

Iquality have been mind Idistanced have some put-downs to.

No pleasing some folk. weekday evening at theayou side How long have had arthritis?”

“I don’t here all night. intervened and cancelled the offi ce lunch Saw this in a local pub on their specials board: reading about proposal for the 2027 Rugby whencomics a ladyI recently close byused to us asked Bar Manager that when Trump dies, I will give which have to dealthe with day had aonwill birthday mymodern mate entrance to the Brewery us toand wander lonely as some clouds “We leaving Love Local champion local farms World Cup which prevent any team in “but red I have arthritis, Father,” theand drunk said, ontoit chips.

We did not see the serviette iffacilities theCaroline toilets were still upstairs.

He ofother course ill the say: “He isthe today how he aswarmed generously sent meto aplaying bottle of wine via hecklers: IStreet was at the hairdressers the day for one my where four yd) time tried to around the Castle and itswas outdoor bar and fisheries.”

All very laudable but the first shirts and green shirts each other to ensure that we had properly up since we didn’t want pull any drinking just read in the paper that the Pope does.” option coming but worth bearing in mind if of the popular parcel delivery folks.

There Continuing January scalping when the Jimmy Nail song pensioners who could barely until frostbite got the better of us and forced us confiup rmed that they were but Ipeople thought thisstruggle to be ato ….wearing make-up lying front item on their menu and was Mediterranean Olives. because colour blind often scles. only sixinofstuck us turned and aof minimum of ten were required the nk theUnfortunately, other three you to want wet tissue paper to“What was aNo knock on the door and a young driver “Ain’t Doubt - She’s Lying” came on or the size shoe does your mouth take?” were seen hanging onto back hotel we did not need.

Much fun,stand but Overheard ina the same pub: “Every time we distinguish between the two.

Not criticising Staying with the drink, there has always the rope very stupid question.

I would have said something ys.

Tomlinson t was off.

I engaged old-timers who were inthem the bar (could have been the your food. wireless.

Totally unscripted, the masked said had a but parcel for mewe, but before he ahow lamppost, for support, rather we quickly foundfour out that there is asay. limit to come here we come here.”

You don’t ofhe course thisattached would affect Wales, been much snobbery to wine. like: “I don’t know asked by the son of a good friend singers in the chairs and our masked stylists theme: could hand it over he needed my date “This is what comes from drinking on an empty rementioned oneswine fromone the Taff Vale) and asked them whether they fancied aof much mulled can drink before falling than illumination.

An Canada, Ireland, Tonga, Russia,having South Africa Continuing the theme, there’s a famous Indeed, bout sell-buy dates before people make asing living from it, all started toThis sway and totothe music in a birth.

Apparently, I needed satisfy him over. afternoon they would and Japan. me intrap, mind of that quote when madam was uld write a urology forbeer his Dad’s wery tour and free for the afternoon.

Fearing some kind ofhad honey they took Soap onhead.” pub in Dublin, at the top of Camden Street, scene reminiscent from The Full Monty when that I was over 18 since it was alcohol he but I am making a stand because of the ocal supermarket on a Friday nly 3 shops I really from BBC snooker commentator Ted Lowe who never…… remember. with us but t have the heart toBleeding say eulogy me convincing that my offer was genuine. they agreed tolast join us.

Picture the called The Horse.

One day, aCautiously, they all started dancing in the queue atwe the a rope was delivering.

Being more than three times famously said during one of his commentaries: lockdowns.

I’m giving up wine, everyhanding day, all “Iisknow where CEO you were when they were shables that would make the mat with Mark Dacey (on the the dynamic of s,call Boots and Clydesdale horse trotted in andwho ordered job Fortunately all sharp implements scene, 5pm onare a them sunny moved out to he meant.

Anyway, here is leS) his centre. age and with greying hair obviously “And for those ofthat’s who watching in black Aadrunk who smelled like ayou Pope on a month.

No wait, not it.

I’m giving the brains out………getting an extra helping ofup. tColleges.

I hadand some doubt pint ofdoes Guinness and ame packet of cheese were forfor a is few short minutes and Itsausage not whether need to suggest the uncanny wasn’t this budding Sherlock and white, the pink next to the drugs weekday evening atgreen.” the sidethen brewery got ondowned aenough bus and sat the car park many Wine every dayThe all month! and onion crisps.home.

The rope barman was a little without further comment, just like in a musical, mouth.” e Ricky car for the journey Holmes. down next to a priest. or Tomlinson or of vice versa. to Brewery have had months ago aslike aonthe ike tale, (heenough was affectionately everybodyentrance wentwe back to the their day job taken aback, but Dublin barmen are nothing Interesting lyric heard on the wireless se it’s nothing to do with EU drunk's shirt was stained, hisa first date.

Two people out on “Do you Caroline Street where four nothing had happened.

Lockdown has a lot not professional, so he served him with a was other day: “Sports bra andofaconsequence Maserati car.” you know, ifbright wore soundproof trousers Finally, ayou Christmas tale good cheer.

I to no direct because his likeness have toif home school face full of red tdafi sell-buy dates before but a recent trip“Do to my local supermarket nspection of of the packaging answer for but that was very funny. smile and went about his business.

A few like Merlot Tammy?”

“Yes, but you don’t Who would have thought of that combination? was my wayyou’re to pickwho up which the Leader of pensioners could barely once owned one of the chewed pencils one would hear a word saying.” lipstick and heon had a halfof Covid19.”

Perhaps ibyan leader), involved a tripImake of the thighlight no perishables that following Monday.

Instand fact Ihave gin for fruit and vegwould like Apparently many including a poet called moments later the horse saidthe “Excuse me, the Opposition from her Dynamiting for pronounce the “t.”

“Oh, Ok.” Looks at were seen hanging onto empty bottle of wine sticking Shakespeare used to his works. used Thewrite Leader of famous The Opposition andI He I were this is why do not run ch Wales play France.

We Dave Cox whom I have just “discovered”. but could I please have a serviette?

I seem Beginners course when I was stuck at the .hey Sothen these comestibles would it to the car for the home.

What is going one journey day“Is leSthat on the sell-buy date.

It takes an inordinate amount of skill to supply OT it’smake serious, real face or are you still celebrating out ofyour his pocket.

He opened waiter: “Two Merlots for me and Ammy.” listening toaproperty Michael Ball on the wireless. lamppost, for support, rather Intellectual rules prevent me quoting to be getting a nosebleed.”

As the barman inevitable traffic lights.

Still, there was a to chew on it so much that I couldn’t tell whether it was a pub. a 20 year relationship with withhis 24 hours towas spare.

Waste levels mustOsmond be astronomical. and started limes, picked, packaged, Halloween?”

He interviewing Donny who to do with supply issues?

Closer in-@me” inspec@on ofnewspaper the packaging for theEU excitement. minimum of ten were required or and than illumination.

Andog any of hisDr work here but I encourage brought some over he chuckled said, Our sparkle of Christmas decorations in you the friend H has trained her Daisy .ort, A couple of minutes later, he asked the priest, "Father, what causes arthritis?"

A wife sent her and played them home and had been appearing in panto at the London 2B or not 2B. Staying with the Bard, in days gone by, distributed around UK A recent WalesOnline article bizarrely claimed look him up.

A real comedy genius and hugely nsit for fruit and veg like Tanzania and Argen@na.

So these Staying with food, I have been doing some research into what isthe no longer manuf “You know, I suppose this means the bar is was off.

I engaged four old-timers street and the interminable carols on afternoon they would , it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and to bring her a bottle of red wine.

No surprise Palladium.

Donny was speaking about a “Your bus leaves in 10 minutes...

Be under it.” husband a romantic ch international weekends.

On that GPs were working 40 months an hour refreshing. red to the shops and put on named after you.”

The horse looked at him in order to attract women, I used to use this quote from the UK. The list is endless but here is a small sample: Pringles (Belgium), Smar@e car radio to keep me amused.

I watched were in the bar (could have been the n exo@c climes, picked, packaged, taken to the port or airport, pt for your fellowwe man," the priest replied. "Imagine that," theformer drunk muttered.

He remember. never…… acting mentor of his who told him sat thea really, she’s aher Bordeaux collie.

I Iwas f?

A phrase overtime.

I have no doubt they are ridiculously nonplussed and said, “Who the hell names mum with young son, whom estimated text message.

She wrote: “If you are sleeping, send rip (Mike’s fi rst), we did it in the y left on the sell-buy date.

It Colman’s English Mustard ( Germany), Terrys Chocolate Orange (France) and d tostretched reading his Thebut priest, thinking about what had said, turned tofor the following: “Theatre is theIV, only place where mentioned ones from the Taff Vale) “Well, it’s night out him.. and a 82: night offyou for hisHP ( Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Act III, Scene line Ia have also been reading Bob Mortimer’s Recent crossword clue: “Brush under the ehouses then delivered to40 the shops and put he on the shelves with atpaper. present, months an hour? with She Who Must Be Obeyed the other a bar Kevin?” was no more than three and dressed as a om the 18th Century Parliament) Sauce (The Netherlands).

Staggering. d apologised: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong.

How long have you had can dream in public.

Your job as an actor is unt of skill to supply goods me your dreams.

If you are laughing, sendlike me your way, athem bus towhether ferry crossing autobiography which I alsosmelled strongly carpet 5Dover, and 4.”

Thean answer over.” sked they fancied That’s over three years hour. was The“gloss only way family.”

A drunk who whilst she sipped abeing glass of very wine Harry Potter Wizard, shown howa to to deliver thatFunny, dream” which we thought was ?"

"Ito don't have arthritis, Father," the drunk said,smile. "but I day just read in the paper that poignant recommend. and clever, Picture the poor student trying to learn English. urs spare.

Waste levels not straight was to do this would be to time travel so maybe If you are eating, send me a bite.

If you are Paris.

I was sitting next to him.

At What do you call a Russian napkin?

one for you: “Knock knock.”

“Who’sgot there?”

“LiKle old lady.”

“LiKle old la ge does." a brewery tour and free beer Here’s for the brewery on a bus and sat press the pedestrian crossing button.

She and she said, “IOh love rather good. yes it In is. itso but enough about me.you hemuch, recalls ayou tale “Hello.”

– try it in German accent: “If“II need they Student were referring toaDr Who. In “Imy world thisyou you like Van Gogh needed stereo.”

A Soviet. had no idea could yodel.” drinking, send me a sip.

If you are crying, send me med Customs Offi cer came onto had encouraged him to take a fairly novel oon.

Fearing some kind of honey trap, warp and weft).

Of down next toI could a priest. about having chronic flatulence asever aThe child understand zis correctly, in ze afirst place you know.

Icourt don’t know how live would be like driving at 40 hours mile which Imy was reading about alove case where thetexted accused Thanks to both my cousin Lawrence fortoat this joke. (see what I did there) approach this road“ with the drink, there has always been ook some convincing that offer was which was embarrassing and times your tears.

I you.”

Her husband back: id: “Just hold up your passports are brushing benease your carpet and zen you Alas recessionary pressures have drunk's shirt was stained, his would be quite slow but not unlike trying to I am a man of awithout certain age so my does aswine well as it use ed with the related you.”

Itolerance said, “Isthreshold that you orwork the I walked into our local bar, The Moaning Monet and ve been doing some research What do you call a Frenchman wearing safety lesson by making him wave his wand snobbery attached toto over wine. very painful.

During one particular attack he add shiny paint it. Indeed, You was described as “having murderous intent.”

I was contributed the sad demise of Cardiff a number ne.

Cautiously, they agreed toBritish!” join us. negotiate the recent traffic carnage in par@cularly when being asked to embrace new technology.

I was therefore heart I’m in the toilet, please advise.” come along and count them and face was full of bright red talking?”

She said, “It’s me talking to the sandals?

Phillipe Flop!

Quickly followed by a saw Van Gogh sitting at button. thewho end a bar stool. at the crossing Onon about the“release fourth I anufactured init,they the UK. The make a living from but I am making alanes went to the Doctors managed to City Centre as impose bike onFor the of old pubs, particularly rural ones. eedthe scene, 5pm on a sunny weekday She Who Must Be Obeyed suggested I download a new app called What3Words. poem what I writ: quite disappointed to learn that this had nothing to do lipstick and hequotes had athe halfto me and saidword “I Pringles didn’t know time of asking, the lights changed inDoctor his Staying with games, a wordwine.” shouted “Hey Vince do want a drink?” of the lockdowns.

I’m giving up the pressure” foryou him.

He secause arest small sample: of us. us this has Dr meant the SixI completed Bells and The rs, let’s call her naviga@on aid whichasdivides the World into 3empty metre squaresthan and gives each squar ng at the side entrance to the Brewery puzzle on myNophone and I correctly guessed favour as if by magic.

The child’s face was saying: “Better an house a empty bottle of wine sticking very day, all month. wait, that’s not Happy New Year Dear Reader, the Year of the assport and I haven’t got one.”

I withhumour camping.

Lighthouse.

Vandals with have nada), Colman’s English Roses can bedrive red,for Violets are purple.

Just combina@on of three words.

I s@ll about a lot for business, believe it or not Finally, a blessing the drink: God, in his that the word they were looking for was out with Dr R who a picture of“No naivety and joyI’ve at having cast roline Street where four pensioners He shouted back: already got one The Mother-In-Law was looking for car noisy tenant” which I thought was very good. iving up.Sainted Wine every day month! out of thanks, his pocket.

He opened been at all the Six Bells signage saying.

Ox. Apparently this year is going to be lucky g” orChocolate words toactive that effect.

Then, inwhose a Having rys Orange Hadron as in the Hadron Collider. no assured that this system would be much more accurate than using our sat his spell so brilliantly.

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Cardiff Times December - Page 1 Editorial_Layout 1 18/11/2022 13:01 Page 1

It’s the most wonderful of time of the year and we’ve got Christmas wrapped up at St David’s Hall with loads of great gift ideas for the whole family!

And what better way is there to get in the festive spirit than with our magical ballet series? Coppélia (Sat 17 - Sun 18 Dec) and The Nutcracker (Mon 19 - Sat 24 Dec) provide the perfect pre-Christmas treat, and Swan Lake (Tues 27 - Sat 31 Dec) is a wonderful way to spend time with your loved ones in the runup to the New Year.

Strictly addicts are in for a treat with Johannes Radebe (Fri 14 Apr), Giovanni Pernice (Sun 16 Apr), Nadiya & Kai (Sun 23 Apr) and Anton Du Beke (Sun 7 May), while opera fans can revel in the grandeur of Verdi’s Aida (Weds 1 Feb) and Puccini’s Madama Butterfly (Fri 21 Apr).

The National Concert Hall of Wales is the place to be as usual for superb stand-up comedy starting with two nights of Stewart Lee (Tues 24 - Weds 25 Jan). Likewise, Paul Smith (Weds 6 - Thurs 7 Sept) performs a double-header of new dates after his January shows sold out. There’s also popular panel show regulars Sara Pascoe (Sat 1 Apr) and Phil Wang (Sat 3 June), and Edinburgh Fringe favourites Foil, Arms & Hog (Fri 29 Sept). Plus, there’s quickfire gags in I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue (Sun 19 March) and the outrageous Haters Roast (Sat 8 Apr) won’t be for the faint-hearted with nine of the world’s biggest drag acts involved!

There are huge names in the music world too. Soul superstar Billy Ocean (Mon 27 March) presents a career-spanning set, while James (Weds 26 Apr) play their most beloved hits and hidden gems with stunning, reworked orchestral arrangements. KT Tunstall (Mon 6 March), Ward Thomas (Tues 11 Apr) and Katie Melua (Tues 9 May) all air tunes off their brilliant new albums, while Gabrielle (Thurs 26 Oct) celebrates 30 years of her chart-topping debut single, Dreams. Also marking three decades in the music industry is Suzanne Vega (Sun 26 Feb), and there are the incredible velvet voices of James Williams (Thurs 23 March) and Alfie Boe (Thurs 10 Oct). If you prefer guitars plugged in with the amps cranked up to 11 though, look no further than The Classic Rock Show (Thurs 26 Jan) and Anything for Love: The Meat Loaf Story (Sat 18 March). Prog-rock devotees will be delighted with tickets to The Musical Box (Weds 15 Feb) and Mike + The Mechanics (Weds 10 May), while Scott Bradlee’s Postmodern Jukebox (Weds 19 Apr) brings an innovative pop-jazz twist to modern sounds. Plus, there’s a rare chance to experience Tubular Bells (Fri 3 Feb) in its entirety with every note of Mike Oldfield’s classic album replicated with remarkable attention to detail for its 50th anniversary.

There’s our usual healthy helping of breathtaking classical music too. The BBC National Orchestra of Wales perform a live accompaniment to Disney’s Fantasia (Sun 15 Jan) before returning for a special St David’s Day Celebration (Weds 1 March) and a Gaming Concert (Weds 17 May) featuring favourites from Fortnite to Fallout 4! Plus, our Cardiff Classical Series continues with the Philharmonia Orchestra (Sat 25 Feb) and The Hallé (Sat 20 May).

We’ve also got a star-studded line-up scheduled for our 40th anniversary weekend with Wynne Evans (Fri 17 Feb), Prue Leith (Sat 18 Feb) and John Barrowman (Sun 19 Feb). For something a bit different, there’s the world’s greatest living explorer Sir Ranulph Fiennes (Weds 27 Sept) and Turner Prize-winning contemporary artist Grayson Perry (Thurs 12 Oct). Thinking ahead, it may be also wise to book tickets for Zog (Weds 22 - Thurs 23 Feb) to keep the little ones entertained during the half-term holidays!

Thank you very much for your continued fantastic support over the last 12 months, and here’s wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New year from everyone at St David’s Hall!

12 CARDIFF TIMES

Cardiff Times December - Page 2_Layout 1 15/11/2022 13:07 Page 1

JOHN BARROWMAN I Am What I Am 19.02.23

WARD THOMAS Music in the Madness 11.04.23

PRUE LEITH Nothing in Moderation 18.02.23

JOHANNES RADEBE Freedom Unleashed 14.04.23

COPPÉLIA, THE NUTCRACKER & SWAN LAKE

17.12.22 - 31.12.22

PHIL WANG Wang in There, Baby!

03.06.23

KT TUNSTALL NUT 06.03.23

ZOG Live On Stage 22.02.23 - 23.02.23

SARA PASCOE Success Story 01.04.23

JAMES WILLIAMS One Night With You 23.03.23

BILLY OCEAN The Very Best Of 27.03.23

PHILHARMONIA ORCHESTRA feat. Sheku Kanneh-Mason 25.02.23

In The Words Of

by Carl Marsh

The Coconut Tree - having been open only a couple of years or so, this was my second visit. I did attend the opening night and was very impressed. This current visit was for the Come Dine with Me Roadshow, which saw Co-Founders Rodrigo and Shamil win the Cardiff leg of the TV show. The menu for the night was the very same one from the episode. I can say it’s superb; the venue is perfect and very laid back, and the food is authentic Sri Lankan cuisine of the highest order. I love this place.

Happy Christmas, it’s the season to celebrate. Santa Claus will be en route very soon, and I, for one, can’t wait! So, whatever you do or wherever you end up, enjoy yourself.

INTRO RANT I won’t say too much as it’s a lovely time of year full of love and caring/sharing. And the World Cup is still on, even though after today’s games [2nd matches] for England and Wales, it’s brought both sets of fans back down to Earth with a thud!

Proud Mary - seeing as I don’t go out to venues like this anymore, likely as I don’t live in Cardiff and not that I am getting too old! It was a fun night in a crazy venue with the staff all wearing kilts and often dancing on the bars. What I love about this venue is that you can be who you want, it’s very welcoming to all, and sundry, and age is of no concern.

The decor is surreal, with loads of artwork showcasing Welsh actors and the like, but not as you’d expect. Pay a visit and see for yourself. The staff were attentive and ultra-friendly, and the music was to my liking. And the drinks selection would not sit out of place with any high-end bar in London or New York.

The BBC and ITV have taken a political stance on things outside of football, but we need to respect that they are a different country, and they are only one of the many places around the world that are like this. Raising awareness is vital.

Change is needed, but maybe the elected politicians need to do more in addressing such things rather than overpaid ex-football presenters - and most of them weren’t that good at football either!

INTERVIEWS Another double page this month, however, it’s two people who are touring together in December, and one even has the surname, Claus!

TV REVIEW The Walking Dead - Disney+ I have seen every single episode of this show. EVERY EPISODE. I will watch a load of things, but nothing comes close to my love for this show. Whenever an episode was available on Disney+, or FOX where it was before, I would stop everything and watch it pronto. Now, its last ever episode has arrived. I am gutted. For those who have not seen this last one, I won’t spoil it apart from saying it’s a fitting end. It really is. The writers have done it justice. And we get to see what we, the fans, all wanted and where it might spin off to…

Have a great Christmas, and I will see you all next year!

FOOD & DRINKS REVIEW Like last month, there are two offerings this month, one being a new bar called Proud Mary, which is on St Mary Street. The other is The Coconut Tree at 10 Mill Lane. Again, like last month, both events were on the same day, but not as rushed this time as the food was first in The Coconut Tree before a free bar at the opening of Proud Mary.

14 CARDIFF TIMES

Ella Vaday and Kitty Scott-Claus are those fabulous drag queens that were the runners-up on RuPaul’s Drag Race UK series three, and what a blast I had talking to them…

Carl Marsh Twitter - @InTheWordsOf_CM YouTube - InTheWordsOf

Since appearing on season three of RuPaul’s Drag Race UK, Ella Vaday and Kitty Scott-Claus were the runnersup to eventual winner Krystal Versace but have remained the best of friends ever since. They are now about to venture on a UK tour together, and of all the interviews I’ve had for a long time, this was one of my favourites: funny, original and most enjoyable. Both are appearing together at the Tramshed in Cardiff on December 19th.

Kitty What’s lovely is that we won’t have the restrictions of the Drag Race tour. With that tour, we’d go on, do a number; we’d go off, and that would be it from us. You’d like see five minutes of us. Whereas this is like it’s a full production. It’s going to be fantastic. So what’s the saying? No, no arms holding? [I say, “No holds barred”].

That’s the one; no holds barred!

Carl Marsh I’ve been looking at both of your Instagrams these last few weeks, and it’s been relentlessly busy for you both with TV appearances, awards events, the UK season three tour of RuPaul’s Drag Race, and now your own tour.

Ella No arms in holes! [Laughter]

Ella We finished the UK Season Three tour about four weeks ago now, but I feel like I’ve just not even stopped. I feel like I’m still on tour. But yeah, it’s been busy, busy, busy.

When it comes to the production for this tour, have you got people you’ve stolen from Drag Race or have you got people never involved in it?

Carl Marsh And the same for you too, Kitty? I’ve also seen you on TV a few times in the last few weeks.

Carl Marsh Oh, you guys are hilarious, and I can only imagine this tour you’re going to be doing is going to be even funnier.

Ella There’s going to be us two mainly, and then in every city that we go to, we’re going to have one or two local

Kitty I have! Yeah, it’s been nonstop, to be honest. But it’s amazing. We’re so excited to go back on the road. We had so much fun during the season three tour with everyone. And now it’s like we’ve trimmed the fat and got rid of everyone that we didn’t like [Laughter]. And now it’s just Kitty and Ella.

Carl Marsh I wonder how this new tour will differentiate from the season three tour you’ve just done with RuPaul’s Drag Race. I know they’re different, but will it be more of a no holds barred affair where you are allowing yourselves to go way over the top than you could ever do on RuPaul’s Drag Race?

Ella Well, there are ten fewer Drag Race people on tour. So, that’s one big difference. [Laughter]. A lot more space and fewer smells to have to deal with. But, no, it’s going just to be Kitty and me. We’re best mates outside of the show. We met on Drag Race. And then for the last year and a bit, we’ve just been hanging out and chatting every day, going to every awards thing going and presenting awards, you know. So, it’s just going to be us on tour singing about Christmas and being very naughty along the way.

CARDIFF TIMES 15

queens who will also perform with us because we’re all about supporting local drag queens. So it’s gonna be a collective but mainly all about us. To be honest, Carl.

I said, “Yes, and my drag name is Kitty Scott-Claus. So there are things where you just hear, and you’re like: “Yes, that’s the one”.

Kitty It has to be! Do you know what? Christmas is about celebrating with the people you love and two additional queens in each town. So I get to be with Ella Vaday, who I love very much, and we get to have some support from some local girls, but it’s going to be fantastic. It’s going to be so much fun. And yeah, so chaotic.

Carl Marsh That’s amazing, and with a fantastic story to it as well.

And with the show happening around Christmas, people could have been mistaken, thinking your surname was just based around Santa.

Carl Marsh There will be people that will read this and may or may not have seen the TV show where people would get to know a bit about yourselves. And I don’t know if the show covered how you both had chosen your drag names. So, what’s the story behind your selective names, if you don’t mind me asking?

Ella Oh, Kitty, you go first.

Kitty Well, I think finding your drag name is very personal for you. So the way I came across mine… I had a few drag names before settling on Kitty Scott-Claus, and this was before I was even doing drag. So I was there like, “Oh, my drag name is going to be Madonna Kebab”. And what was the other one…? Chelsea Bun. But then I was at a party, and this was - as I said already - before I was even doing drag, and I just found it funny when someone said something bitchy, and I said: “Oh, a saucer of milk?”

And then this other friend added on top of it going “Yeah, Kitty’s got claws”. And then it was one of those things where as soon as you said it out loud, it was like, Kitty Scott-Claus. That’s a brilliant drag name. So if ever I do drag, I’ve got my one. And literally like, it was meant to be, as about six weeks later, the opportunity arose, and

16 CARDIFF TIMES

Kitty I know! It was when we’d filmed the end of season three, and I said, “Oh, it’s Christmas themed”. And I was like, “I’m Claus, and I never played to this. But I will do today!”.

Ella I love when people think that Kitty’s German or something because they’d go “Kitty Scott-Claus” [said in a German accent]. And we’d go, “No, she’s just from Birmingham! [Laughter] I tried loads of different names like ‘Anna Nother-Thing’ or ‘Jan No-What’ [Laughter], but in the end, I didn’t want to be called Jan or Anna. So I tried ‘Ella Vanass’ for a bit because I always have a massive ass. And everyone thought I was saying, “Elephant Arse”. So I got rid of that as I didn’t want to be known as an elephant arse.

Ella Vaday sort of appeared into my brain, and I thought, you know what, that’s such an English sarcastic name, much like myself: quite dry. And I’m always doing way too much with my day, being a busybody. So I ended up calling myself ‘Ella Vaday’, and it stuck, and I liked it.

People still get it confused. It takes a while sometimes, but I kind of like that it’s a bit of an intelligent pun because I love a pun name.

Catch Ella and Kitty at the Tramshed in Cardiff - on December 19th

KATIE MELUA LOVE & MONEY TOUR 2023

PERFORMING THE CLASSICS PLUS SONGS FROM THE BRAND NEW ALBUM ‘LOVE & MONEY’

TUE 9 MAY - St David’s Hall Cardiff Gigsandtours.com Ticketmaster.co.uk

An SJM Concerts and Live Nation presentation by arrangement with UTA

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CARDIFF TIMES 19

The Animals of the Castle Wall’s Annual Outing

by Sara John (for Rhys)

Wallace had had enough, already, and it was still only August. Wallace was a brave, popular wolf whom the other animals respected and he had taken it upon himself to organise this year’s ACWAO, (see title above). It took place in Midwinter because that afforded the most time, in darkness, away from the Castle grounds. It was annual rather than ‘last minute’, which most of the animals would have preferred, because it took about eleven months to reach any sort of agreement about where to go and what to do.

In previous years there had been problems. These frequently involved the public services with the Police, (animals being drunk and disorderly) the RNLI, (‘borrowing’ the rubber duck and wrecking it on sharp rocks in shallow waters) seven coastguards (abseiling after dark down the cliffs along the Heritage Coast), the secret place at Cheltenham (attempted burglary) and that business at the City Hall (the Viennese Evening with a full barbeque and bar). Then there was the re-enactment of the 1940 invasion of Marshfield by Axis Forces, with their very loud Brass Band who played heavy rock nonstop. And do not forget the Victoria Park incident (which went on and on) when the fire Brigade were alerted as local residents realised, in the dark of course, that person or persons unknown had pulled out the big stopper in Victoria Park to empty the pool of water. This was in fond memory of Miss Billie (as in Holiday) the Seal and her journey, in a very heavy rainstorm, unplanned by her of course, being washed down through Victoria Park, Canton, then over Canton Bridge and into town. Then being taken back on the bus next day. It was all over the Mail, and the Echo had a special pull-out supplement.

That must have meant at least ten years of worry for Mr Bruno Bear who, at the time, felt he could not refuse to be The Organiser, when asked, as everyone was so kind to him. It fell each year to the organiser of the Annual Outing to attempt to sort out the damage, write a really nice letter to the Western Mail explaining to any readers who might have been affected by raucous shenanigans, fireworks, flooding, hooters, alarms, sirens and many other inconveniences, that it would not happen again.

In addition a new, large and very complicated lock was being made at the foundry and would be fixed to the appropriate gate by very strong men from Grangetown who were experienced in these matters.

As you will understand Wallace already realised that he had his paws full.

20 CARDIFF TIMES

Time was slipping past, and Wallace decided if anything went wrong this time there would be NO more annual outings, if that happened, the best time out the animals could look forward to would be a visit to a difficult council meeting about drains and sewers, or volunteering to help out on a Saturday, when the football season starts, at the A&E unit at the local hospital.

Wallace always wore a tweed waistcoat with four pockets. One pocket for his watch, a gold hunter, but that, and how he acquired it is another story, one pocket for his snuff box, one for his favourite mints and, lastly and most importantly his notebook. He wrote a note to himself to remind himself to jot down his plan for the annual outing. This would include clear instructions of what was planned (by himself of course) and some fairly controversial rules and regulations.

By the beginning of October, he was ready to call a

meeting of all the animals whether they wanted to go on the outing or not. The information went around by word of mouth, causing much consternation, concerns and confusion. For example, most of the more senior animals had been everywhere at least once with the last visit always being the final one.

You may be wondering about the animals themselves, this information is confidential and they have asked if I could ask you, in turn, to respect their privacy. You may not know this but the animals you see guarding the Castle and Bute Park have names, backgrounds, enemies and responsibilities. You only see the animals in the bright light of day. They watch us passing but must remain still.

“Remain still like carved stone statues”, they were told long ago. “But at night when all is still and dark and quiet enough to hear the fog horns at the coast, you can do as you wish”. After dark is when their adventures begin.

They always had to be back before dawn. If they stayed outside the Castle wall when it was getting light they changed back into heavy stone statues. So, the smaller animals trailing behind those with longer legs were often in danger of being taken by people and put on display in front gardens, or, even worse, they could end up being painted with cheap paint bought in Woolworths years and years ago and now, far from fresh.

Wallace was ready on the appointed evening to start the meeting. The animals gathered round. Small ones in front, middle sized in the next row and large animals at the back. There was standing room only. It was midnight.

City Hall clock said so.

Wallace welcomed everyone. So far, so good, he thought to himself. He looked around the group, he saw keen and eager faces and quite innocently and with the best intentions opened the meeting. He had asked Lynda, the young lioness, whom he quite fancied, if she would collect and list the names of everyone who was there.

He had the list in front of him and using a torch found in the grounds of the Castle called out to confirm who was and who might have not been present. Lynda had done her best but her spelling was conspicuously phonetic and there were still smudges of jam, cream and donuts on the sheet of paper. Nicholls the lynx and Lionel the leopard were present but already bored. Vernon the vulture was playing cards with Philip the pelican. Austin the anteater was, as always looking for, finding, eating and putting some in his pocket for later, ants.

Roderick and Rosemary the raccoons were telling each other jokes. Henrietta the Hyena was texting other hyenas, mostly hyenas who lived in the home counties, Jeremy and Jeanette the two Apes were holding hands, kissing and cuddling. Still in love after all this time. Bruno, the big strong bear from Bulgaria was fast asleep and snoring. Bertram the beaver was prodding him with one

of his immense collection of sticks, all sizes, all shapes, all for different purposes. Bertram and Bruno were good friends and Bertram did not want Bossy Boots Wallace to make fun of his best pal or hurt his very large Bear sized feelings. Burges and Williams the two lions at the gate were a little apart from the main group of animal listeners, as always, a little aloof, quite posh, well growled, groomed and sharing the same star sign.

Wallace was banging on about Health and Safety Legislation, washing your paws carefully, reading notices, not smoking anywhere (“my gawd” screeched Henrietta the Hyena, “how old is he?”) when over waddled Syonara the seal and stood alongside Wallace. Everyone gave her a little round of applause. She had come to Cardiff quite recently having swum down from the Western Isles.

She was very charming.

“Right”, said Wallace, “listen up everyone”.

The gist of his announcements went like this; We will be going on our annual outing on December 22.

By water taxi, to The Bay. Syonara’s cousins will tow us from the water taxi ramp down to the Bay. We will split up there so that we can “Suit everybody!” and you can select clubs, pubs, casinos, places of ill repute (if you have never been and you want to say you have been), restaurants, wine bars, or visit friends or family.

Then at the agreed time we will re-assemble and return up the Taff back home here. Simple. Safe. Secure. Thank you everyone. No Questions.

The audience trundled off, by now they had got the message that Wallace was already tiring of all the things to remember when trying to do the Right Thing.

He made another entry in his notebook - Visit Owl tomorrow evening before Owl takes off to his Mature Owl Evening Classes which he runs for the benefit of owls who did not flourish at school. “It is never too late to learn and to listen.” He said every time to his scholars when he was teaching. He had had this printed on his school exercise books, just to remind himself, when he was still attending school.

CARDIFF TIMES 21

Wallace discussed his worries and concerns with Owl. Owl translated Wallace’s concerns into Latin, as he explained he thought and dreamt in Latin and would more quickly be able to help.

Owl was silent for ten minutes, tops. Not a whit nor a woo. Then he asked Wallace if he could remember the Latin for sausages? “No, no, do not concern yourself, I have it, it is tomaculum!” he interjected! By way of explanation, he said he had just remembered that Mrs Owl had asked what he wanted for breakfast, as it was only Tuesday.

If Wallace had sought solutions he was talking to the wrong bird and would have done better with a tame pet parrot. He realised he was doomed. All of this worry and nothing to show for it!

The night for the ACWAO was looming. Everything had been prepared. Most of the animals had tried their best.

Vernon the Vulture the one most likely to have travelled great distances, collected old newspapers and cut out the weather reports. That, he said, was a waste of time because they were always different, but, always made up of the same four ingredients like his Aunty Maud’s cooking during the War. Wind. Rain. Showers. Snow (which never materialised) and an odd whiff of sunshine.

Not even worth the mention.

At six o’clock on the shortest day messages were being passed around and a sense of excitement was building.

The shortest day means the longest night. Once it was dark, the animals slipped down from the Wall and made their way to the Water taxi on the Taff, Syonara the seal was there surrounded by her many, many cousins, each taking the loose end of a rope. With all the animals safely on board they whooshed down the Taff at great speed.

The singing started. Everyone was getting brighter, jollier and really starting to enjoy themselves. Wallace risked thinking that everything was going to be okay.

On arrival in The Bay, jumping, dancing, and tripping, along the animals were being questioned about who they were and what were they doing? Most people asked if they were the cast of “The Greatest Show on

Earth” now revived in town. Wallace, as a wolf of the world suggested they start off at the Casablanca Club.

No sooner had they sat down and ordered drinks than a big black Labrador arrived. The badge on his collar said, “Glamorgan Constabulary”. He went around sniffing everybody, including the nice man with glasses who said he was from the Church of the Bay Youth Group.

The place cleared in no time.

The band went first. Hearing the police car sirens outside they suddenly remembered they had another gig in fifteen minutes in the new Supper and Samba club called, on a big sign outside, ‘Over by here not over by there’, now known as ‘Overs’, as most of the other letters had fallen off the sign. “Okay” said Wallace, “we will follow them”. They all set off in a group, holding paws through the strange parts. Passers-by were asking Bruno where he had got his bear costume from and did the shop stock smaller sizes?

Quite soon they were inside Overs, which was cosy and warm and just beginning the evening’s events and entertainments. A very large cash prize was awaiting the best dancer of the evening in the Samba competition.

Bruno enquired about the time of the competition and was told it was to start quite soon and did he need a dressing room to change out of his Bear costume? “No, he replied it is part of my Act, my International Act” he replied with every courtesy.

He had never spoken of his time long ago, not on the stage but on the pavement, for the amusement of tourists and chained to his keeper. Dancing. He had been a dancing Bear. In Varna in Bulgaria. Money from good people from other countries had put a stop to such appalling exploitation and he had been brought to live in Cardiff. In peace and comfort. Always a most gentlemanly Bear.

The band struck up, people started dancing in pairs, dancing the Samba which is not an easy dance. Bruno asked the band if they knew La Bamba. “Know it” they said, “we wrote it!”

No one was really tall enough to partner Bruno who was by now THE centre of attention, so he danced alone. The other dancers recognising his grace, his elegant gestures and the sheer musicality of his movements were clapping and whistling and shouting, La La La La Bamba!! The three judges put up their hands to interrupt the music and declare Bruno the outright winner. There was much shouting, excitement and sheer joy. Bruno went along to be presented with a huge iced, creamed, and jammed cake. A large bottle of something with gold foil around the neck and a brown paper parcel of money.

As the animals made their way out everyone had paper money ready as their contributions to the Great Bear’s entertaining dancing. All the customers were ready to stuff cash into his pockets. He had no pockets, so

22 CARDIFF TIMES

someone found him a cardboard box to put his prize money in.

The animals made their way around to the water’s edge and most of them had a few slurps of whatever was in the big bottle with the gold foil. Some started singing.

They all jumped into the boat they thought was the one they had arrived in. By now it was almost light. Every animal fell soundly asleep and stayed asleep until they woke to strange noises and strange voices. They were just following the daily patterns of their lives. Sleep during daylight: be active after dark.

“They must be filming a new series of the Liver Birds”, suggested Lynda the young lioness, “my mother loved that show. It was called the ‘Liverbirds’” Wallace stretched himself and realising where they were and that he was still strictly speaking in charge pointed out there were no cameras or people in funny anoraks or lights or food wagons. They had been fast asleep all through the daylight day, without moving a paw, a whisker, a tail, or a pointed ear. No one had come near the boat, it had been safely moored at the quay. They may well be actually in Liverpool!!!!!!! Wallace was quickly alert, but still a wolf. He needed both gifts from God to find fast solutions to their predicament. He was both Alert (Ever since he had joined the Alerts when he was too big for the cubs) and being a wolf was, as his father had told him a thousand times was quite wonderful.

The animals rushed ashore. Passers-by told each other that the animals must be from the circus that had recently arrived for the Festive season.

Wallace caught the words, ‘Festive Season’ and recalled a story in the Western Mail, one of those nice long gossipy ones about the famous taxidermist, Llewelyn ap Griffiths Lloyd Prosser (‘Welsh he was’ whispered the animals to each other when Wallace read the article to them the previous week) and all about his entire collection of stuffed animals moving to Cardiff, and at Easter on to Barry Island for the summer season. In fact, it had been all over the papers.

By this time it was completely dark and all the animals stayed very close together. Wallace explained what was happening.

They were going to the railway station which was close by and would hide, as it were, alongside the stuffed animals who were waiting for the goods train to Cardiff to take them to their new home. The midnight train south to Wales was just pulling into the station so Wallace’s party faded into the shadows and allowed themselves to be lifted into the Goods Van. “Right” said Wallace, “Line up, do not speak, be still and pretend you are stuffed!”, “I think I am said Bruno, that was a very big cake”. Then they were loaded into the Guards van all mixed up with the real stuffed animals

who were being taken to their new home and off to go!

Seven hours later they were offloaded at Cardiff General.

Wallace returned to his worrying mode.

Who will pay the carriage costs Wallace wondered?

Will they all be arrested for being on the platform without platform tickets?

Would he want to do this ever again?

However, the animals had had such a wonderful time they wanted Wallace to set it all up ready for a repeat performance next year! It was getting light and the stuffed and stone animals, all mixed up together as part of the plan, settled down to sleep for the train ride. The train sped on, durun, durun, durun, durun.

It was, by this time late afternoon and beginning to get dark, as they sped towards Cardiff. It became dark quite quickly but they were soon in familiar surroundings.

The train stopped and the doors of the goods van were thrown open from the outside and they helped each other out on to the platform. At that moment Bruno came walking along the platform with the Cardiff General station master, just as the animals burst into singing.

“Wallace’s a jolly good fellow…….and so say ALL of Us!!!’. “How did you get on out there with the Station Master” They all wanted to know. Tales for another time Bruno promised, shaking hands with the station master.

He added, “there cannot be two Natasha Kitanovs can there?”

Wallace led the animals outside the station and found the water taxi waiting on the river. They all clambered aboard. Syonara and her cousins each took a stout rope and swam off back to the Castle as City Hall clock struck Seven. So who is Natasha Kitanov the animals wanted to know? Who is she?

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Adults Only at Techniquest If you fancy something a bit out of the ordinary for your festive meet-up with friends or colleagues this year, then Adult Lates at Techniquest could be just what you’re looking for.

On Friday 16 December from 7pm, over-18s only are allowed into the iconic venue, to get stuck in to the 100+ hands-on, fun exhibits ̶ without a child in sight. Feel the earth move under your feet on the earthquake simulator, test out gravity vs friction on the ginormous silver slide, create your own digital fireworks, try to dock a spaceship, perform a virtual operation or get blasted by the full force of a hurricane!

Tickets include a complimentary drink on arrival and there’ll be a pay-bar and food station set up on the night. You can book ahead for a seat in the super-snug planetarium for a Winter Star Tour too, or catch a live science show in the Science Theatre.

Book at techniquest.org and keep an eye on the website for additional activities yet to be announced.

Free drink on arrival · 100+ hands-on exhibits Pay-bar and food station · Planetarium Live science demos · More to be announced!

CHRISTMAS 2022 FRIDAY 16 DECEMBER 7-11pm 18+ ONLY 24 CARDIFF TIMES

Book now

techniquest.org

A POSY OF VIOLAS

Amusing Adventures in Seeking Friendship and Love in Wales

by Sara John

An entertaining look at the lifestyle of two old friends facing the doubts and dilemmas of contemporary life and love, steeped in the humour redolent of the warm embrace of the South Wales Valleys.

Available from elmgrovepublicatons.com £9.99 plus postage.

“The author writes with a subtle, but wicked, Welsh wit. It is unashamed valleys humour tempered, on occasion, with perceptive Gaelic sobriety. You will laugh out loud, snigger, smile… and enjoy”.

RAE Whitchurch “Yet another fascinating read, crafted by the hand of Sara John.

What akin yet always sympathetic observer of human behaviour who always gets to the heart of our foibles and frailties in witty, lively and quirky ways. Her sense of place and time is faultless”. MB Cardiff

Violas-Addvert-4.indd 1

10/11/2022 11:51

The Little Wellber g Circle Offering baby, toddler & parent wellbeing classes, sessions & retreats.

What i s on offer; -Baby Massage -Before & Beyond Birth -Parenting Circles -Exciting new projects taking place in the new year To find out more about what is on offer please scan the OR code.

Alternatively you can contact Emma on thelittlewellbeingcircle@gmail.com or IG/FB: @ThelittleWellbeingCircle

SCAN ME Use 'Winter22' when booking to claim your free gift

CARDIFF TIMES 25

Worldwide Entertainment presents

THE

at Christmas

GEORGE DANIEL LONG

STEPHEN TRIFFITT

MARK ADAMS

as Sammy Davis Jr

as Frank Sinatra

as Dean Martin

Back by popular demand and following sell-out performances across the globe, The Definitive Rat Pack brings you an evening of festive classics and all-time favourites featuring the internationally-renowned Manhattan Swing Orchestra and special guests The Golddiggers.

White Christmas, Baby, It’s Cold Outside, The Christmas Song, Let It Snow, Winter Wonderland, Mack the Knife, My Way, That’s Amore, Mr Bojangles, New York, New York… This is one Christmas party not to miss!

Monday 12 December – 7.30pm

Rat-Pack_186x132mm.indd 1

28/11/2022 11:20

Sponsored Feature Award-Winning Film ‘Smyrna’, based on true 1922 events urges us to remember the catastrophic consequences of war on humanity SMYRNA in UK cinemas Dec 4 “An urgent and multilayered examination of an unspeakable atrocity. Told with great passion and brimming with outrage.”

— Atom Egoyan, 2-time Academy Award Nominated Director The critically acclaimed epic war drama SMYRNA, hits UK screens in select Odeon cinemas nationwide, as a one-nightonly event on Sunday, Dec 4, 2022. Marking the 100 year anniversary of the tragedy.

SMYRNA brings to the big screen an extraordinary piece of cinema that details the heartbreaking 1922 catastrophe which destroyed one of the greatest cities in the world, once known as the “Pearl of the Orient.” It urges us to pay attention to the current refugee crisis that our world continues to face today, as

National Center of Audiovisual Media and Communication (EKOME). Grand Sponsors: Hellenic Foundation for Culture, Greek National Tourism Organization, Ε.Ι. Papadopoulos S.A, Ch.A. Papaellinas Commercial. Sponsors: OPAP, Aegean oil, Optima Bank, Athens Medical Center, M/ Maritime, Protergia, Sun Spices S.A., Marina Giavroglou, Petra & Fos. Supported by the North Aegean Region, Chios Regional Unit, municipality of Chios, municipality of Western Lesvos, municipality of Mytilene, Maria Tsakos Foundation, Region of Attica, South Athens Regional Unit, Hellenic ministry of national Defense, Embassy of Japan in Greece.

Get tickets now: https://www.odeon.co.uk/films/smyrna/ HO00003645/

people are forced to flee their homeland because of war, violence, and persecution.

SMYRNA has won the hearts of audiences having received a 6-minute standing ovation at BAFTAs iconic Princess Anne Theatre, in London, as well as receiving the 2022 Los Angeles Greek Film Festival and San Francisco Greek Film Festival Audience Awards.

To date, SMYRNA stands as the highest budgeted Greek film in history.

Tickets for this moving drama, coming to select theaters nationwide on December 4, 2022, are available at participating Odeon cinemas.

It stars Susan Hampshire CBE and three-time Emmy Award winner (Vanity Fair, Monarch of the Glen), Jane Lapotaire (Downton Abbey, Rebecca) and Rupert Graves (Room with a View, Sherlock, Emma).

Written by Mimi Denissi in collaboration with 2-time Tony Award nominee, Martin Sherman, SMYRNA has won 6 Hellenic Academy Awards including Best Cinematography.

The film is directed by Grigoris Karantinakis with an international cast including Mimi Denissi, Leonidas Kakouris, Burak Hakki, Katerina Geronikolou, Jane Lapotaire, Susan Hampshire, Rupert Graves, Christos Stergioglou and Daphne Alexander.

SMYRNA was produced by Dionyssis Samiotis, alongside Executive Producers Joseph Samaan and Mimi Denissi. In the U.S., promotional partners include AHEPA, Antenna 1 Satellite (ANT1) and Papadopoulou. Film Bridge International is overseeing international sales for the film.

SMYRNA is a Tanweer Productions film, in co-production with Central Stage, ANT1 Group, ERT, Greek Film Center, Tsiatlino, Finos Film, Barking Well Media, York Films, Europa and the support of Ministry of Digital Policy & Media and the

CARDIFF TIMES 27

Give a gift experience with a difference this Christmas. The combination of the historic Hensol Castle together with the modern vibes and fun nature of gin, creates a truly distinctive experience.

• Guided Distillery Tour & Tasting only £25pp • Gin School - Make Your Own Gin only £99pp • Cocktail Masterclass only £30pp • Cocktail Masterclass & Tour only £50pp

Hensol Castle Cellars, Hensol, Vale of Glamorgan, CF72 8JX

CT.11.22

www.hensolcastledistillery.com

South Wales Forgotten Trojan History

by Bernard Jones There were vast migrations following the fall of Troy.

Many of these went to the continent. As far as Britain is concerned the most important of these was led by Aeneas, prince of Troy, who we discussed in Part A. There was another, however, and this was conducted by a Trojan elder and councillor called Antenor. He led a mixture of Trojans and Eneti in exile. They arrived in the Bristol Channel and sailed up the river Wye as far as Monmouth. South-east Wales was at that time known as Illyria. At this time Britain was not known (there was no England, Scotland, or Wales). The ‘Eneti’ is a Greek name; they were called ‘Gweneti’ in the ancient British language.

They settled in Illyria where, in due course, their city would become known as Gwenet-Illyria. Over time the name was shortened to Gwent-Illyria, and when the Romans arrived they gave it the corresponding Latin name of Venta-Silurum. This town is known as Caerwent. Illyria thus became Siluria.

Antenor went on to found a town called Patavium (Latin). This town was on the river Tav, or Taff, known to us today as Llandaff. The people were called Taffy (Taphiae in Greek) and are mentioned

by Homer in his Odyssey because they were taking iron ore by ship to the Temese (Thames). Llandaff then is probably the oldest city in Wales, being founded about 1,180 years before our current era! It is probably no coincidence that the town founded

by Antenor is at the lowest crossing point on the river Taff, and directly across from Ely where Andromache and other Trojans lived.

Brutus the Trojan was the greatgrandson of Aeneas of Troy. He accidentally killed his father when they were out hunting together. As a result he was exiled, and undertook his own voyage on the oceans. He came eventually to south Wales and became known to the descendants of the Trojans who had been taken there as slaves. They were still in servitude. After various battles he captured the Greek king who agreed terms for his freedom. The Trojans were allowed to leave and Brutus would take the Greek king’s

daughter as his wife. Brutus sailed away with ships and provisions furnished by the king and came into the river Dart in Devon, where they came to shore at Totness.

Later, Brutus sailed to the river Thames and founded his new Troy on the banks of the river. It was called ‘Troia Nova’, which in due course of time became known as London. He had a coronation and received from the druids of the island the reigns of state, kept safely by them since the fall of Troy. Brutus then declared that the island would be called Britain, the people would be called Britons, and the language (at that time known as ‘crooked Greek’) would be called ‘British’. The TrojanBritish history is continuous, all the way down to Cadwalladr the Welsh prince.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Bernard Jones is a retired multi-disciplinary professional, Chartered Practitioner and Chartered Fellow, with a lifetime of scientific, technical, investigative and research work behind him. He is also a historian of some 40 plus years who completed his post graduate research in ancient philosophy/mythology and ancient history. For the last four decades he has applied his professional skills to his work as a historian, the result of which is two extraordinary books. ‘The Discovery of Troy and its Lost History’ is the first of these, and was published in 2019. The second book is called ‘The Voyage of Aeneas of Troy’ and will be published later this year. Bernard has just completed his Master’s Dissertation in Ancient History.

For more information go to www.trojanhistory.com CARDIFF TIMES 29

We’re NOT just hiring for Christmas!

Driving skills are for life!

Take your NEXT adventure with us, learn new skills for FREE. Want more information?

Scan the QR code!

Fantastic team with flexible house for anyone who is looking to top up / work around the kids or full time.

Very competitive salary, increased twice in 2022!

CARDIFF TIMES 31

Your opportunity to study in 2023 Eich cyfle i astudio yn 2023

Mynnwch ddwy awr yr wythnos yn ystod 2023 i danio eich dychymyg, gwella eich CV, dysgu rhywbeth newydd ac ehangu eich gorwelion. Mae Prifysgol Caerdydd yn cynnig cyrsiau rhan-amser i oedolion.

Maent yn cael eu cynnal ar adegau sy’n siwtio eich ymrwymiadau gwaith a theulu er mwyn rhoi’r cyfle ichi gyflawni eich dyheadau o ran dysgu ac o ran ennill credydau tuag at gymhwyster.

Mae gennym ni amrywiaeth hynod ddiddorol o gyrsiau yn cychwyn y gwanwyn a’r haf hwn. Bydd llawer o’n cyrsiau’n cael eu haddysgu wyneb yn wyneb tra y bydd cyrsiau eraill yn cael eu cyflwyno ar-lein.

Os ydych chi’n derbyn budd-daliadau’r Adran Gwaith a Phensiynau neu os ydych chi wedi cael eich cofrestru yn rhywun sy’n chwilio am swydd ers chwe wythnos, neu os ydych chi’n perthyn i grŵp sy’n cael ei ystyried yn un sydd heb gynrychiolaeth ddigonol ym maes addysg uwch gallai eich cwrs fod yn rhad ac am ddim.

Llwybr newydd at radd yn y gyfraith Dyma gyfle cyffrous i ddysgwyr sy’n oedolion gael mynediad at astudiaethau israddedig yn Ysgol y Gyfraith a Gwleidyddiaeth ym Mhrifysgol Caerdydd.

Y gwasanaethau Addysg Barhaus a Phroffesiynol (CPE) sydd yn cyflwyno’r cyrsiau, a bydd myfyrwyr yn astudio’n rhan-amser mewn amgylchedd cyfeillgar a chefnogol. Bydd y rhan fwyaf o’r cyrsiau’n cael eu haddysgu gyda’r nos er mwyn siwtio eich ymrwymiadau o ran gwaith a theulu. Rydym yn croesawu ceisiadau gan fyfyrwyr sydd efallai heb ymwneud ag addysg ffurfiol ers blynyddoedd lawer a does dim angen cymwysterau blaenorol. Mae cyngor ar gael hefyd ynghylch cyllid.

Mae deuddeg maes pwnc arall hefyd ar gael yn CPE sy’n opsiynau o ran llwybrau at radd.

I gael rhagor o wybodaeth am ein cyrsiau rhan-amser, ein llwybrau a’n cyllid, ewch i’n gwefan. https://www.cardiff.ac.uk/cy/part-time-courses-for-adults 029 2087 0000 learn@caerdydd.ac.uk

32 CARDIFF TIMES

Take two hours out of your week to ignite your imagination, improve your CV, learn something new and expand your horizons. Cardiff University provides part-time courses for adults at times to suit your work and family commitments which gives you the opportunity to fulfil your learning ambitions and earn credits towards a qualification.

We have a fascinating range of courses starting this spring and summer. Many of our courses will be taught in-person whilst others are being delivered online.

If you are in receipt of DWP benefits, or you have been registered as a job-seeker for six weeks, or you belong to a group which is considered under-represented in higher education your course could be free.

New pathway to a degree in law This is an exciting opportunity for adult learners to access undergraduate studies in the School of Law and Politics at Cardiff University.

Students will study part-time in a friendly and supportive environment at Continuing and Professional Education (CPE) and most courses will be taught in the evening. We welcome applications from students who may have been away from formal education for many years and no prior qualifications are required. Funding advice is also available.

A further twelve subject areas are also available as pathways to a degree at CPE. For more information about our part-time courses, pathways and funding please visit our website. www.cardiff.ac.uk/learn 029 2087 0000 learn@cardiff.ac.uk

PTCFA Advert A5_Layout 1 19/10/2022 11:27 Page 1

Cyrsiau rhan-amser ar gyfer

Part-time courses

oedolion for adults 2022-23

2022-23

Cyrsiau newydd yn dechrau ym mis Ionawr

New courses starting in January

Ewch ati i wella'ch gwybodaeth, cyflawni eich dyheadau, rhoi hwb i'ch CV a gwneud ffrindiau newydd.

Improve your knowledge, achieve your ambitions, boost your CV and make new friends.

www.caerdydd.ac.uk/dysgu ffôn: 029 2087 0000

www.cardiff.ac.uk/learn tel: 029 2087 0000

A CHRISTMAS BOXING QUIZ

by Ralph Oates 8. Joe Erskine won the vacant British heavyweight title on the 27th of August 1956 when he outpointed which opponent over 15 rounds? (a) Johnny Williams (b) Brian London (c) Henry Cooper

1. In which weight division did Jimmy Wilde win a world title? (a) Flyweight (b) Bantamweight (c) Featherweight 2. Where in Wales was former world lightweight champion Freddie Welsh born? (a) Cardiff (b) Swansea (c) Pontypridd 3. In which weight division did Jack Petersen not hold a British title? (a) Middleweight (b) Light-heavyweight (c) Heavyweight 4. On the 30th of August 1937 Tommy Farr travelled to the USA to challenge Joe Louis for the world heavyweight title. Farr failed in his bid when he was defeated by which method? (a) 6 round stoppage (b) 9 round knockout (c) 15 round points decision 5. What was Tommy Farr’s nickname? (a) Tonypandy Terror (b) Tonypandy Hunter (c) Tonypandy Puncher

2

6.In which weight division did Eddie Thomas hold a European title? (a) Lightweight (b) Welterweight (c) Middleweight 7. Dai Dower won the European flyweight title on the 8th of March 1955 when he defeated Italy’s Nazzareno Giannelli by which method? (a) 5 round stoppage (b) 8 round knockout (c) 15 round points decision 34 CARDIFF TIMES

9. Dick Richardson won the vacant European heavyweight title when he stopped opponent Hans Kalbfell in round thirteen of a scheduled 1 fifteen on the 27th of March 1960. In which country did this contest take place? (a) Germany (b) Italy (c) Austria 10. On the 22nd of September 1964 Brian Curvis failed in his bid when challenging Emile Griffith for the world welterweight title when defeated by which method? (a) Stoppage in round 3 (b) Disqualification in round 8 (c) 15 round points decision 11. Which title did Eddie Avoth not win the professional ranks? (a) Commonwealth (b) British (c) European 12. In which year was former WBC world featherweight champion Howard Winstone born? (a) 1937 (b) 1938 (c) 1939 13. During his professional career which opponent did Roy John not meet? (a) Chris Finnegan (b) John Conteh (c) Tom Bogs 14. In which country did the then British, European and Commonwealth welterweight champion Colin Jones not box during his professional career? (a) Denmark (b) America (c) Italy 15. On the 15th of November 1978 future British heavyweight champion David Pearce made his professional debut defeating which opponent in the first round?

round points decision

(a) Bob Bleau (b) Osborne Taylor (c) Theo Josephs 16. On the 17th of April 1993 Steve Robinson captured the vacant world featherweight crown when he outpointed opponent John Davison over 12 rounds. Which version of the title did Robinson win? (a) WBO (b) WBC (c) WBA 17. Robbie Regan won the WBO world bantamweight crown when he outpointed holder Daniel Jimenez of Puerto Rico over 12 rounds on the 26th of April 1996. Where was the venue for this contest? (a) Welsh Institute of Sport, Cardiff (b) National Ice Rink, Cardiff (c) Star Leisure Centre, Cardiff

3

18. Joe Calzaghe had his last professional contest on the 8th of November 2008 at Madison Square Garden, New York where upon he outpointed Roy Jones jr over how many rounds? (a) 10 (b) 11 (c) 12 19. Joe Calzaghe retired from professional boxing with an undefeated record consisting of how many fights? (a) 45 (b) 46 (c) 47 20. Kerry Hope failed in his attempt to win the vacant Welsh super4 welterweight crown on the 21st of February 2009 when he was stopped by Taz Jones in which round? (a) 2 (b) 3 (c) 4 21. Which of the following boxers fought in the southpaw stance? (a) Howard Winstone (b) Joe Calzaghe (c) Joe Erskine 22. Liam Williams travelled to the USA on the 17th of April 2021 to challenge Demetrius Andrade for the WBO version of the world middleweight title. Williams failed in his attempt when he was defeated by which method? (a) 3 round stoppage (b) 8 round knockout (c) 12

23. Joe Cordina won the IBF world superfeatherweight title on the 4th of June 2022 when he knocked out Japanese holder Kenichi Ogawa in which round? (a) 1 (b) 2 (c) 3 24. Going into the contest with Kenichi Ogawa, Joe Cordina was undefeated in how many professional contests? (a) 14 (b) 15 (c) 16 25. Lauren Price made her professional debut on the 11th of June 2022 outpointing Iceland’s Valgerdur Gudstensdottir over 6 rounds. In the amateur ranks Price had competed at the 2020 Tokyo Olympic games in the middleweight division, winning which colour medal? (a) Bronze (b) Silver (c) Gold ANSWERS 1. Flyweight 2. Pontypridd 3. Middleweight 4. 15 round points decision 5. Tonypandy Terror 6. Welterweight 7. 15 round points decision 8. Johnny Williams 9. Germany 10. 15 round points decision 11. European 12. 1939 13. John Conteh 14. Italy 15. Osborne Taylor 16. WBO 17. Welsh Institute of Sport, Cardiff 18. 12 19. 46 20. 4 21. Joe Calzaghe 22. 12 round points decision 23. 2 24. 14 25. Gold Image captions: Image 1 courtesy of Derek Rowe to go with question 10 Image 2 courtesy of Derek Rowe to go with question 12 Image 3 courtesy of Les Clark to go with question 17 Image 4 courtesy of Les Clark to go with question 19

CARDIFF TIMES 35

Wales’s Strongest Man brings the fire to Cardiff in 2023 Strength fans Wales’s Strongest Man returns in 2023 to Cardiff! Following our knock out event in Cardiff earlier this year we highly suggest getting your tickets booked! A family day out strength extravaganza not to be missed, we have something for everyone to enjoy, watch the strongest men and women in Wales battle it out in on our gruelling events. We are also celebrating 20 years of the greatest strength show and oh boy will it be a celebration not to miss!

This year we saw David Ramplee the Raptor take his crown as Wales’s Strongest Man. The young Luke Sperduti of Newport was just shy of taking the title taking second place and Mark Jeanes of Glamorgan took 3rd. For the first time we showcased the strongest women in Wales with Rebecca Roberts World’s Strongest Woman taking the title, the crowd marvelled at the women showing just how strong

36 CARDIFF TIMES

they are through a series of tough events.

2023 will bring some tough competition for Ramplee, Garret Cann of Pontypridd is chomping at the bit to take the Raptors title, can x2 UK’s Strongest Man Gavin “the bull” Bilton take back his Wales’s Strongest man crown? Luke Sperduti will no doubt be hungry to take that 1st place having so narrowly missed out this year. The Raptor will really have a tough fight on his hands if he wants to hold onto his crown.

Can’t wait until next year? Check out our YouTube to catch the highlights from this years show also check out our Instagram, Twitter and Facebook to keep up to date. www.ultimatestrongman.tv https://www.instagram.com/officialultimatestrongman https://twitter.com/ultimatestrong https://www.facebook.com/ultimatestrongman

CARDIFF TIMES 37

WELSH DIVING

NEW ADVENTURE! Why not try a new hobby this spring by learning to scuba dive?

bubbles illustration: @upklyak/freepik

Welsh Diving is a PADI Five Star Scuba Diving School and Instructor Development Centre.

We provide courses from complete beginner to professional dive instructor. From ages 8 years to adults For more information please contact: kmartin@welshdiving.co.uk m 07753 691794

Japanese Jiu Jitsu

Sport Wales National Centre Sophia Gardens, Cardiff CF11 9SW Saturdays 5:30pm - 7:00pm Wednesdays 6:30pm - 8:00pm

Self defence, confidence, fitness and fun!

Children (6+) and Adults

CardiffCityJitsu@gmail.com

Little Fizz Preschool Classes, Party Fizz Children’s Entertainment and Family Events

by Liz Mullen We are super proud to be in our 17th AMAZING year of running multi-awardwinning Little Fizz Music, Movement and Play Classes (ages 0-4) Party Fizz Children’s Party Entertainment and Family Events! We recently won BEST INDEPENDENT CHILDRENS COMPANY IN WALES! Little Fizz Music, Movement and Play Classes run in Roath, Penarth, Heath, Llanishen, Llandaff North, Marshfield and Radyr with flexible attendance - book the hall and mix and match classes to suit your family! We are a very relaxed and welcoming class - everyone is welcome – the emphasis is on individual enjoyment, expression, and experience and on spending special time together!

Little Fizz is a multi-award-winning, exciting, and engaging combination of music, movement and learning through play within a fun, relaxed and welcoming atmosphere. Little Fizz is inspired by the excitement and energy with which little one’s approach life; a celebration that every child is unique and will learn and develop differently. The emphasis is on the physical and mental benefits of being active and on an enjoyable shared experience for parent/carer and child. Little Fizz has lots to offer parents, carers, and their little ones!

The 40-minute classes are fun and lively with a variety of engaging activities, carefully designed to provide an exciting range of developmental opportunities for little ones, whilst recognising that all children develop differently, and that they learn best whilst having fun! Activities include a unique combination of music, movement, imaginative play, fun with props and instruments, parachute games, storytelling, sensory play, story massage and yoga inspired movement.

Here is a recent review of our Penylan Classes: “I’ve been to a few different baby classes with the girls, but even I really enjoyed today’s session. I loved the variety and use of props, it was wonderful. As a former Primary teacher, I can see so much thought and planning you have done to make the sessions so engaging. One of my girls has started spinning on her bottom and trying to jump since today’s session!!I just wanted to share some positive feedback with you!! Can’t wait for next week’s session!”

We offer 2 weeks of trial/taster classes so that you can experience Little Fizz for yourself – visit www.littlefizz.co.uk for info and booking.

Party Fizz Parties: Our Parties are fun filled for children and stress free for adults! Parties are interactive, lively, exciting, energetic, and inclusive – so that every child has an amazing time! We will find out everything we need about your child, guests, theme,

40 CARDIFF TIMES

venue etc to make sure we design the perfect party for you and create a magical and truly memorable party experience.

Our amazing team of entertainers are energetic, enthusiastic, creative, caring, reliable and dedicated. With 16 years’ experience you can count on Party Fizz to deliver the perfect party for you!

Activities include: *Music and Movement *Percussion Instruments *Party Games *Parachute Games *Bubbles *Party Dances *Snow/ Foam Machine *Musical Games *Hula Hooping * Fun Pom Pom Dancing *Dance Ribbons *Silly Hats for photos * Treasure Hunt * Prizes * Disco * Light up Sensory Toys *Glitter Tattoos * Princess Appearances – and more……

As well as classes and parties we also organise family events throughout the year – Christmas parties, Easter parties, Beach parties and Halloween parties – the whole family are welcome! It is so special for both parents/ grandparents/carers, family/friends, and older siblings to share the fun of these extra special events!

We are proud to have been able to bring so much happiness, magic, love, human connection, and joy to thousands of families and privileged to be able to have had so many wonderful experiences! I want to thank everyone who has come to every class, party, and event in the last 16 years and look forward to welcoming new families to the magic and joy of FIZZ!

CARDIFF TIMES 41

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visit our website and enter your postcode to find your nearest class! www.tinytoesballet.co.uk

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CARDIFF ENGLISH LANGUAGE SCHOOL REQUIRES HOMESTAY HOSTS Homestay hosts within the Cardiff and Vale Area required for international students <all over 16> Excellent remuneration offered.

Contact Richard 07908 139716 or 02920 225656 richard@we-bridge.co.uk 42 CARDIFF TIMES

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CARDIFF TIMES 43

Pet Food Bank providing items to those in need

by Natalie McCulloch

If you are an animal lover it may not surprise you to know that ‘77% of dog and cat owners report that their pet is a family member “Just like anyone else”’ (McConnell et al, 2017), or even that many people report that they receive “as much social support from their pets as they do from their parents or siblings” (McConnell et al, 2011). Considering this, it’s no wonder that, in a time of financial uncertainty in the nation and where budgeting, careful planning with pennies and even spending sacrifices are taking place, pets are coming high up the priority list for daily provisions. In fact, many people are reporting struggling to adequately feed themselves and their pets and thus facing malnourishment themselves or loss of ownership of a wellloved companion.

“I would never give up my dog; he’s my life. He barks whenever anyone approaches the tent, I feel safer because of this. I prefer my dog over humans, and he’s my best mate, I couldn’t be without him.” Service user Luckily, thanks to an excellent initiative in 2018 by self-confessed animal enthusiast Debi, a little of the financial stress is eased via support of the ‘Pet Food Bank’.

44 CARDIFF TIMES

Debi started the ‘Pet Food Bank’ after a friend told her about situations involving animals happening right here on our doorstep, such as older dogs sitting in kennels waiting longer for new homes because everybody wanted puppies, and older people who were struggling with heating or eating but feeding their pets before themselves, often going without to feed them.

Debi detailed that: “The charity Food Bank can be the difference between keeping a pet at home where it is loved or owners trying to put the pet into a shelter just because they are struggling to afford to feed them. Currently every shelter I know is full to bursting and has a waiting list of months.”

“I’ve sometimes not eaten to make sure my pets have food; Pet Food Bank service is a lifeline for all of us to eat well.”

Service user The ‘Pet Food Bank’ service currently covers Cardiff, Newport, Caerphilly, Swansea, Gilfach Goch, Merthyr and Pontypridd and they are continually extending this coverage. The service is open to everyone on a ‘no questions asked basis’ and available as a one off or longer-term service. They provide pet food and pet items to vulnerable people, elderly, people in financial crisis, victims of natural disasters and people waiting for universal credit.

Ultimately, they provide essential resources with the aim to help keep pets at home where they belong and to break

the cycle of poverty pet owners face.

Debi urges people, “Please don’t hesitate to ask for help if you need it, even if you are working and struggling.”

If you would like to access the service please log onto https://petfoodbankservice. co.uk/ to find your local outlet.

Can you help make a difference?

Throughout 2022, so far, the ‘Pet Food Bank’ has provided thousands of items to those in need including; 59,188 pet meals, 160 blankets/towels and 174 dogs’ coats.

Every one of these donations has made a difference to those in receipt of items.

However, as good news travels fast and enquiries for their help increased by 50% during June 2022 and another 50% in July 2022, the charity are needing a new ‘home’ to house all these generous donations in order to keep up the great work. If you are able to support the service please log onto: https://www.gofundme. com/manage/8c996-we-need-a-home to pledge some support or to find out more.

Equally, if you are able to foster a furry friend then please do not hesitate to get in touch with your nearest pet shelter as there are so many pets needing a caring home!

“Thank you for the dog food. We worry when we can’t afford food for our boy, he’s part of our family.” Service user

CARDIFF TIMES 45

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Light up A Life with City Hospice this Christmas Described as a lovely man and a cherished husband, Lawrence Guppy received support from City Hospice following a diagnosis of oesophageal cancer, with the charity providing specialist palliative care until he passed away in 2019.

“It’s still difficult but City Hospice’s bereavement counselling gives me strength and I can’t talk highly enough about them.

I had probably heard of the hospice prior to Lawrence, and my mum, entering their care but I truly hadn’t realised the extent of their work.

“Now, I regularly share information about the hospice online to spread the word about their incredible work to my wider circle of family and friends.”

To say thank you, Wendy has since taken part in a number of City Hospice’s fundraising events including Forever Flowers, Light Up A Life and the Sparkle Walk, as well as Wag This Way with her cocker spaniel Betsy.

A tech wizard, Lawrence Guppy had a long career working for both the health and ambulance services. His interest in technology and digital advances led him to specialise in IT systems for the ambulance service in the latter stages of his career.

A donation made during the Light up A Life campaign will make a world of difference to a family facing terminal illness in the community. To donate, visit www.cityhospice.org.uk/ star-in-the-sky/ or call 02920 524 150.

Outside of work, Lawrence enjoyed spending time with his family at home and on holiday, walking his dogs and playing the guitar.

After feeling that something was not quite right, Lawrence made an appointment with his doctor, who then referred him for an endoscopy. Sadly, he was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer.

His wife Wendy said: “Despite the diagnosis, Lawrence remained positive and was open to all types of treatment including chemotherapy. During his time at Velindre, we were introduced to City Hospice who not only provided amazing care for Lawrence towards the end of his life but also supported and guided me through his illness.

“They were amazing; always there whenever we needed them. Lawrence struck up an excellent relationship with his Clinical Nurse Specialist Kath, who was so nice and caring.

My mum has unfortunately recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer and Kath is now her dedicated nurse. I know she will provide the same wonderful care and compassion for my mum as she did for Lawrence.”

Following Lawrence’s death, City Hospice continued to support Wendy with specialist bereavement counselling and services.

Wendy said: “I thought I would be ok, but losing Lawrence was the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my life. The saying ‘you don’t realise what you have got until it’s gone’ is true; part of me is missing since Lawrence passed away.

CARDIFF TIMES 47

LEARN THE GAME OF BRIDGE AT CARDIFF BRIDGE CLUB

Anyone can learn to play bridge – you don’t have to be Warren Buffet(left) or Bill Gates (right)!

We all understand the need to keep physically active throughout our lifetime. But keeping mentally active is equally important. The game of bridge can keep us challenged mentally and also provides good social interaction with like-minded people.

There are many aspects to the game of bridge which all contribute to the continued fascination. Anyone can learn to play bridge and our bridge courses have been developed and refined by the English Bridge Union over the last 40 years.

At Cardiff Bridge club, our bridge teachers are both experienced bridge players and fully qualified bridge teachers dedicated to helping you achieve your goal of becoming an active participant in your local bridge playing community.

Cardiff Bridge club is an excellent venue for bridge teaching, spacious with good presentation facilities and other technologically advanced teaching aids.

There are many bridge clubs in the South Wales area to choose from and you can play bridge at a local club every day of the week, weekend tournaments and you can enjoy a wide range of bridge holidays and cruises. In addition, you can play “online” 24x7x365!

To find out more, book onto our free Bridge “taster” Session to be held at Cardiff Bridge Club on Wednesday 25th January 2023 at 14:00hrs. Or just book-up for the first 10 week term of 10 weeks starting on Wednesday 1st February 2023 14:00-16:00hrs and 16:30-18:30hrs respectively.

The course fee for this course is £190 which includes “Beginning Bridge” course documentation. You also will receive associate membership of Penylan Bowling & Cardiff Bridge Club so you can enjoy all our club’s facilities. For more information or to book the course or the free “taster” session please email: teaching@cardiffbridgeclub.org or phone Sarah Amos on 07930 503746.

Penylan Bowling & Cardiff Bridge Club, Marlborough Road, Cardiff CF23 5BU CARDIFF TIMES 49

THE PUMPING STATION

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With more than 35 different traders under one roof it is easy to while away an entire afternoon at this welcoming destination - you can even enjoy a coffee at the onsite coffee shop.

Here at The Pumping Station you will find so many wonderful examples of clothing, jewellery, antiques, furniture and home furnishings from the Victorian era right through to modern day, there really is something here for everyone.

info@thepumpingstation-cardiff.co.uk

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Monday to Sunday 10:00am - 5:00pm Penarth Road, Cardiff, South Glamorgan, CF11 8TT

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50 CARDIFF TIMES

Your Lawyers, For Life

All of us at Harding Evans would like to wish the readers of Cardiff Times a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Because life is rarely child’s play.

At Harding Evans, our team of experienced and friendly solicitors are here to help you with any legal support you may need, for the good times and the bad.

Residential Property Wills and Probate Family and Matrimonial Dispute Resolution

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Get in touch: 13 Merthyr Road Whitchurch CF14 1DA 029 2267 6818 hello@hevans.com hardingevans.com

CARDIFF TIMES 51

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• Choice of mirror (plain silver, rose, grey or bronze tint) • Choice of coloured glass, with over 30 colours available • Combination doors (mirror/solid panel, colour glass/mirror or coloured glass/ solid panel) • Choice of steel or aluminium/clad frame finishes (colour coded) • 3 year guarantee (against all fitting and faulty materials) • Maintenance free (set and use hassle free) • Expertly fitted or DIY (expert advice given either way • Excellent value for money

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