“And another thing...”
Non-allergic-rhinitis
ByVince Nolan
A snappy title, I think you will agree. In previous scribblings I penned the immortal line: “Spring will have sprung when your nose don’t run.” Having whetted your appetites with that I have now composed a whole first stanza: “Spring will have sprung when your nose don’t run and your teeth stop chattering too. When you don’t need your vest to fly the nest and the grey skies have turned blue.” I typed the first line of this into a search engine in case I had unknowingly plagiarised somebody else’s work. It came back with “Non-allergic-rhinitis,” hence the title. To tell the truth, my nose does run in Spring but that’s hay fever for you. I was at my tonsorial teasers recently, having a first professional haircut in many months, when my stylist (get me) told me a story about one of her clients. Apparently this guy was around 80 years of age and had refused all attempts to have himself vaccinated. He claimed that this was because he remembered the horrendous Thalidomide scandal of the late 50’s, early 60’s and did not want to pass on anything to the next generation that had not been medically proven to be safe. Bearing this in mind, my stylist asked him, at the top of her voice, if this meant that he was still sexually active and whether he had a partner of child-bearing age. Not sure of his answers but we seem to have come a long way since being asked if we had booked our holidays yet. Staying with relationships, our local church holds regular husband’s marriage wellbeing meetings. 10 CARDIFF TIMES
At the last session, the priest asked Giuseppe, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years. Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands: “Well, I’ve tried to treat her nice, spend the money on her, but best of all is, I took her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!” The priest responded: “Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?” Giuseppe proudly replied: “I’m gonna go pick her up.” I was reading the other day about Cyberchondria which is online hypochondria. We have all done it, just to obtain a Google diagnosis (other search engines are available). I haven’t seen a Doctor for over a year because there are too many genuinely ill people in the queue ahead of me so I have had no other choice. Anyway, I woke up this morning
