August 2014
WHAT TO DO IN THE SUMMER HOLIDAYS
INSIDE:
RYE ARTS FESTIVAL WILD CAMELS? SALADS FOR MEN!
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Trisha Robinson FCIPD & Qualified Executive Coach Managing Director -‐ Y’s Words Ltd Talk to Trisha about coaching and mentoring, mediation and consultancy, or simply to be your sparring partner – You and your business will notice the difference.
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The Summer holidays are here and stretch endlessly before us. When you are young there’s nothing quite like that special feeling at the beginning of the holidays when the return to school seems so very far away. But what to do with all that time? Well, how about rock climbing, driving lessons, karting, kayaking, archery, laser warfare and cycling for a start? See page 12 for details. Advertising and Editorial:
01797 253668 Publication date: 1st of the month Entries for Noticeboard email: noticeboard@onionpublishing.co.uk To send editorial/advertising material email: carol@onionpublishing.co.uk For advertising sales enquiries email: sales@onionpublishing.co.uk www.onionmagazine.co.uk Twitter: @OnionMag1
It’s high Summer and as I write this in early July it’s warm and dry, I hope it still is when you are reading it, and that you will enjoy the Summer food in this issue. But in the middle of our Summer fun we must not forget that the day this issue is published, July 28th, is the 100th anniversary of the outbreak of World War One. We commemorate it, and pay tribute to everyone who took part in it, with a personal article by Edward Barham about his great uncle, who died in that war and in whose memory the beautiful memorial gates at Hole Park were erected in 1925. Finally, a huge thank you to everyone who has written in with really interesting book recommendations and Good Gadget recommendations, and to all the people who wrote in to win the super giveaway prizes, but most of all thanks to everyone who has let us know about the exciting and interesting things to do and to see in our area, most of which we’ve packed in to a busy Summer Noticeboard. Carol Farley Editor
The Onion magazine is published by Onion Publishing Limited The Studio at Friars Cote Farm, Crockers Lane, Northiam, East Sussex TN31 6PY. Editor & Publisher: Carol Farley Director & Publisher: Nicholas Farley Contributors: Edward Barham, Caroline Boucher, Daisy David, Jessica Harding, John Hare, Jack Hebden. Print: Polestar Stones Designed and produced for Onion Publishing Limited by Vantage Publishing Limited, Godalming, GU7 2AE.
August 2014
COMPETITION WINNERS The Onion’s June giveaway/competition winners Family Tickets to the Kent Show: Carole Marchant, Cranbrook Miriam Bowley, Stone in Oxney Malcolm Santer, Gills Green Sistema Picnicware Selection: Sue Page, Cranbrook The Great War book: Tracy Hughes, Tenterden Roberta Boud, Brede Caroline Solly, Rye We had a super response to these giveaways. Please remember, we don’t give out your details to anyone, or use them ourselves in any way. The only time your details will be given out will be if you have won a prize and the prize supplier needs to get in touch with you to send the prize to you. The Onion Magazine
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© National Trust Images/National Trust. Registered Charity Number 205846.
Contents
Polesden Lacey House open daily
The house with its rich collection of art and stories provides a fascinating insight into the Edwardian era.
uncovering the stories
PLUS a new display in the private apartments of former owner Mrs Greville, reveals more about this intriguing society hostess...
01372 452048 nationaltrust.org.uk/polesdenlacey
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Noticeboard What’s on in your local community
8
Memorial Gate at Hole Park
12 Summer Holiday Action Exciting things to do for, and with, children
18 A Good Book 20 The Amazing Wild Camel 22 Sounding Off 23 Country Markets 24 Rye Arts Festival
Beth Wilson
Professional singer available for weddings, private and corporate events
28 Gardening with Jack Hebden 32 Salads for Men! 34 Eat The Salehurst Halt
36 Walk Bodiam Castle and the Rother Valley
38 Business Cards Small ads for trades and services
39 Win Enter our giveaway competitions
Please call on 07940 736577 www.Bethwilsonmusic.co.uk 4
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The contents of this magazine are protected by copyright and nothing can be reprinted without prior permission of the publisher. The publisher has tried to ensure that all information is accurate but does not take any responsibility for any mistakes or omissions. We take no responsibility for advertisements printed in the magazine or loose inserts that might be delivered alongside it. © Onion Publishing Limited.
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OSTEOPATHY A lifestyle choice
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Noticeboard... EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS ... THINGS TO DO
Don’t forget to contact noticeboard@onionpublishing. co.uk about any events you want to promote. This is a free service for all local clubs, associations, societies and projects to make announcements and to tell people about your events. Sand Sculpture Festival at Brighton Seafront From now until 28 September 10:30 to 17:30 Open daily until the end of September, visitors can experience the wonder of this magical art and will also have the chance to get involved. Sand sculpture workshops, live demonstrations, unique photo opportunities, a children’s sand pit, café, gift shop will be on offer. Adult £4.50, concessions £4, children (15 and under) £3, under 3s are free. Family ticket (2 adults and 2 children) £12. Madeira Drive, Black Rock site, Brighton, BN2 1DZ. For more information www.brightonsandsculpture.co.uk. McGill’s War at Redoubt Fortress Every day until November Donald Fraser Gould McGill was an English graphic artist whose name has become synonymous with the saucy seaside postcard. During the First World War he produced anti-German propaganda in the form of humorous postcards. This exhibition is a celebration of McGill’s work of World War One. For more information www. eastbournemuseums.co.uk. Redoubt Fortress and Military Museum, Eastbourne, BN22 7AQ. Simply the Best Sussex Wildlife Trust is inviting entries for their 2014 Photography Competition. Themed ‘Simply the Best’ the judges are looking for beautiful and awe-inspiring images celebrating the best of your local wildlife and landscapes. The top twelve photos will be featured in the Trust’s online calendar and the overall winning picture will feature in Wildlife, the Trust’s members’ magazine. The competition is free to enter and open to all ages. The closing date for entries
is 10 September 2014. For further details, rules and to enter online via Flickr, please visit: www.sussexwildlifetrust.org. uk/photocompetition. Or post a CD to: Richard Cobden, Photography Competition, Sussex Wildlife Trust, Woods Mill, Henfield, West Sussex BN5 9SD including your name, address and contact number. Digital images only. Tenterden Duplicate Bridge Club Every Wednesday 19:00 The club meets at the Tenterden Club, Church Road, Tenterden, TN30 6AT each week. They are always pleased to welcome players. Contact Sue Rolles on 01797 252753 or visit www.bridgewebs.com. Tenterden Country Market Every Friday 09:30 to 11:30 The Market is held every Friday for home-baked cakes and savouries, free range eggs, preserves, locally farmproduced meat, seasonal vegetables, home-grown plants and a variety of crafts by local producers. Refreshments also available. St Mildred’s Church Hall, Church Road, Tenterden. Jerwood Drawing Festival at the Jerwood Gallery From now to 15 October The Festival will feature ‘Drawn Together: Artist as Selector’, a special exhibition to mark the twentieth year of the Jerwood Drawing Prize. The exhibition will include drawings by eminent contemporary artists, including Michael CraigMartin, Cornelia Parker and Rachel Whiteread, who have been selectors of the Jerwood Drawing Prize over the past twenty years. The Festival will also feature an exciting project with multi-award winning illustrator Sir Quentin Blake entitled ‘Quentin Blake at Jerwood Gallery’. Jerwood Gallery, Rock-a-Nore Road, Hastings, East Sussex, TN34 3DW. www.jerwoodgallery.org. The Mega Blaster Arena at the Hop Farm The latest craze to hit the UK is a soft ‘dart tag’ game
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EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS ... THINGS TO DO 10>
known as ‘nerf’. It’s now as popular as paintball was in the 80s. The new attraction called ‘The Mega Blaster Arena’ has opened at the Hop Farm. Suitable for adults and children of 4 and above (4 and 5yr old children must be accompanied by an adult). There is also a ‘nerf’ firing range where adults and children can shoot at targets to win prizes. Opening times: 10am to 5pm on Saturdays and Sundays. Telephone 01622 872068. www. megablasterarena.co.uk. The Hop Farm, Paddock Wood, Kent TN12 6PY. Archery in Icklesham From the latest in high-tech at the Hop Farm (above) to ancient weaponry in Icklesham. Tom Firth who is a World Champion archer having shot for England is offering 2-hour archery lessons through the Summer. He will be charging £10 per person with the funds going to the All Saints & St Nicholas Church Tower Restoration Fund. He will teach any age but an adult must be present at all sessions. Call Tom Firth on 07460 190298. The White Cottage, Cuthorne Corner, Main Road, Icklesham, East Sussex TN36 4BS. Email tomxx10@gmail.com. Wild Woodies – Children’s Summer Holiday Clubs Sussex Wildlife Trust is running a fun-packed outdoor activity programme for children throughout the Summer holidays. There’s something for everyone including: bug hunting, pond-dipping, shelter building, crafts, camouflage
games and toasting marshmallows over the camp fire. There are clubs at Seven Sisters Country Park near Seaford and Rye Harbour Nature Reserve. Children do not need to be accompanied by an adult as the clubs are fully supervised. Booking is essential, for further information on timing, ages and prices please visit www. sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/events or call 01273 497561. Smallhythe 500 ‘Pairs’ Exhibition at Smallhythe Studio Sunday 27 July 11:00 to Sunday 3 August 17:00 This exhibition in the new Smallhythe Studio is linked to the celebrations to mark 500 years since the 1514 fire which destroyed the village of Smallhythe. The exhibition features work by about 30 local artists, inspired by landscape, plants and wildlife. There will be two works by each artist. Smallhythe Studio, Smallhythe Road, TN30 7NB. Tenterden Cricket Week Festival at Tenterden Cricket Club, Morghew Park, Smallhythe Road, Tenterden Sunday 27 July 11:30 to Sunday 3 August Cricket matches every day, entrance free. Start time 11.30am except where noted: Sunday 27 July - Tenterden v C Linton XI (start time 1.30pm); Monday 28 July Tenterden v Noddymen; Tuesday 29 July - Tenterden v Bewdley; Wednesday 30 July - Tenterden v Jack Massey XI; Thursday 31 July - Tenterden v Longfellows; Friday 1 Aug - Tenterden v Tenterden Exiles; Sunday 3 Aug - Tenterden v Rory Sloan XI.
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Memorial Gate at Hole Park
Amidst the many splendours to be found at Hole Park in Rolvenden is a touching and beautiful memorial gate to events of 100 years ago. It commemorates the all too short life of Wilfrid Barham who was killed at Ypres in 1915 and who was the great uncle of the current owner of Hole Park, Edward Barham. Edward tells the story of the man and the memorial. Wilfrid was born in 1896 into a prosperous family who had made money in the dairying trade. Both Express Dairies and United Dairies were family concerns. In 1914 he was at Cambridge, a keen rower and member of the Officer Training Corps. With war imminent he, like so many, gave up university life and volunteered to join the army, in his case The Buffs, the East Kent Regiment. He was keen to be involved in what was expected to be a short war, that would surely be over by Christmas. He joined as an officer, with no officer training; it was a case of learn it on the barrack square 8
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with the recruits that he would be in charge of. He was posted to the 1st Battalion, firstly in Fermoy, Ireland and subsequently he re-joined them to serve for 18 months in France and Flanders. Throughout his time in the trenches he wrote a moving diary right up to the very hour of his final injury, and he wrote a separate set of letters too. Of the two, the letters are often the more frank and interesting, recording the horrors of war as seen by a 20 year old, already a Captain and in charge of a company nominally of 120 men by the time he was killed. onionmagazine.co.uk
On 9th October 1915 whilst moving up to the line just north of Ypres he received a shrapnel wound to his head from a stray shell that fell on his advancing column. He died the following day of his wounds and is buried at Popperinge Military cemetery, not far from the hospital to which he was evacuated. Like so many of his generation, his loss was felt terribly by his family. His father, Arthur Barham, my great grandfather, erected the memorial gate in 1925 in his memory. It is designed by one of the leading architects of his day, W D Caroe, created in wrought iron and features Wilfrid’s monogram, ‘WSB’ amidst the date of his death, surmounted by the dragon badge of The Buffs. The gate lies at the eastern end of the walled garden and almost every visitor to Hole Park passes through it. I wonder how many realise its significance to us. As an amusing postscript, we hosted a group
of veterans from The Buffs Old Comrades Association a couple of years ago, who proudly came to Hole Park to see their badge so prominently displayed. But they were crestfallen to find that in a recent restoration the cap badge had been incorrectly reassembled to face to the right when viewed from the principal side. That makes it a Welsh dragon. How they groaned and no doubt Wilfrid winced too, but it is a major task to reverse it, requiring dismantling of the top section. They will have to keep grumbling, but hasn’t that been the soldiers’ lot since time began! FIND OUT MORE
Hole Park Gardens are open 11am to 6pm every Wednesday and Thursday from now until the end of October plus Sundays in October. Homemade teas and light lunches served in the Coach House. Entry £6.00 adults/£1.00 children. Further details may be found at www.holepark.com
CAMEL RACE DAY 7th September 2014 Hole Park, Rolvenden, Kent TN17 4JA
The Fun Starts at 2.00pm Camel Racing Camel Rides Pig Racing
12th -28th September 2014
Presenting a fun-filled, packed fortnight of free and paid-events, including: Classical & Contemporary Music Literary Talks & History Walks Theatre & Comedy Dance Shows & Workshops
Mongolian Wrestling
Art Exhibitions & Fashion Show
Mongolian Musicians
And much, much more
Sideshows and Stalls • Teas, Burgers and Beer For stall space and information please contact: John Hare - harecamel@aol.com
Entry: £10.00 per car – linked to a raffle ticket.
August 2014
For more information on what’s on go to or call The Onion magazine
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EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS ... THINGS TO DO
Smallhythe Church Flower Festival From Saturday 26 July to Sunday 3 August 10:00 to 17:00 This year’s Flower Festival is very special as it forms part of the Smallhythe500 programme of events to commemorate the destruction of Smallhythe by the Great Fire of 31 July 1514, the subsequent rebuilding of the village and the building of the present church. The Festival theme is fire and heat. We are promised interesting interpretations and some surprises. ‘1066 Mono’ Annual Photography Exhibition Monday 28 July to Sunday 10 August 10:00 to 16:00 each day 1066 Mono Photographic are holding their annual exhibition of Black & White prints, including darkroom work, at the Stade Hall, Rock a Nore Road, Hastings, East Sussex. They will be supporting the work of students from Ark William Parker Academy secondary school, Hastings – giving us all the chance to see the work of talented, future photographers. Free entry. Knight and Princess Academy at Bodiam Castle Every Wednesday and Thursday from 30 July to 28 August 11:00 to 15:30 Bodiam will put your budding knight or aspiring princess through their paces at their Academy this Summer. £5 per graduate. Suitable for 5 to 12 year olds. Booking essential. Call 01580 831320 or 831324. www.nationaltrust.org.uk/ bodiam-castle.
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Singing for everyone Saturday 2 August 09:30 to 10:45 Join Sharon and her monthly community singing group on the first Saturday of every month. It’s very informal and relaxed with no previous musical experience needed. The purpose is to enjoy some light-hearted singing and have some fun and laughter. Celebrate your natural voice on the first Saturday of every month at Iden Croft Herbs, Staplehurst. Cost £3.50. Contact Sharon on 01580 720357 or email Sharon@ earthcenteredmedicine.co.uk. World War I Weekend at Bateman’s Saturday 2 August and Sunday 3 August 10:00 to 17:00 Western Front re-enactments, an encampment with ammunition store, field ambulance, aeroplane, mess tent and more. Contact Holly Turner on 01435 882302. batemans@nationaltrust.org.uk. Bateman’s, Burwash, Etchingham. Hawkhurst Summer Festival Saturday 2 August 12:00 to 17:00 Traditional Summer Fete with a Vintage theme including a very popular dog show, traditional games and various stalls. Held on The Moor at Hawkhurst TN18 4N. The Hawkhurst Village Society will be there launching their 2015 calendar and exhibiting local watercolours.
Owning a holiday home: one decision you’ll never regret! For many people, owning a holiday home by the sea can be the perfect way to make the most of their leisure time. You can escape to it anytime without having to pre-book, or you could spend weeks or even months in your beachside bolt-hole. An impossibly expensive dream? Not if you look at the amazing deals from one of Britain’s most respected park groups: Park Holidays UK. At their 10 parks in Kent and Sussex, prices for a preowned caravan holiday home, fully equipped and furnished, start from just £9,995 or a brand new model could be yours for under £20,000. With the increased demand for homes, Park Holidays UK now even offer spacious luxury
lodges at a number of their parks. A real home from home and a great place to stay. You’ll be getting the keys not just to an attractively designed modern second home. You’ll also be unlocking a leisure lifestyle you might not have thought possible. Your second home can also bring the family closer together if you choose a location near to where other members live. With such benefits on offer, it’s no wonder that many folk sell up their existing home, move to somewhere more manageable, and use the residue to buy a holiday caravan. In fact, Park Holidays UK can even help with this by arranging the quick sale of your current home with their Home Exchange programme. For more information call 0800 138 0477, or see the parks and properties currently available for sale at www.ParkHolidays.com ADVERTORIAL
10 The Onion magazine
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Summer Holiday Action The Summer holidays are here and the trick is to find things to do with children and grandchildren that will excite them and, just as important, will excite you too. Here are some things which I would like to do right now with my granddaughter. Kayaking
It was the good old Water Rat in The Wind in the Willows who said to Mole “Believe me, my friend, there is nothing – absolutely nothing ̶ half so much fun as simply messing about in boats.” And on an idyllic stretch of The Rother you will find The Bodiam Boating Station where you too can do just that. The Bodiam Boating Station is actually stationed at Newenden Bridge where it provides quite a variety of boats for you to mess about in. The most exciting I think for children are the kayaks. The ‘child’ writing this found them very tempting and I don’t think the Summer will pass without my having got my bum wet in one of them. They are very light, unsinkable and uncapsizable, and quite young children are well able to manage them, although, of course, they wouldn’t be allowed out alone; children under 16 must be supervised by an adult, and all children under 14 must wear a life jacket, which is provided free by The Station. The kayaks are for one person but will take an adult and a young child. If your need to kayak is somewhat less overwhelming than your child’s, fear not; you can book them in for lessons with a qualified instructor and leave them safely while you have 12 The Onion magazine
coffee at the café and read the newspaper or you can dive into the White Hart pub across the road. The kids get wet and you get wetted. Alternatively, you could all take a picnic out together in a rowing boat, rather than a kayak. It is possible to just turn up and kayak, but it is much better to phone to check availability particularly on sunny, warm days. It’s £10 an hour or £35 for four hours, and you can even order a picnic in advance to take with you in your boat or kayak. www.bodiamboatingstation.co.uk. Tel: 01797 253838. onionmagazine.co.uk
I used to think of rock climbing as just a grown up thing, but it’s not; children clearly love it and they can start with proper supervision and training at a very young age. There’s no doubt that climbing gets a hold on people and the climbers I have met are never less than passionate about it. The place to go this Summer is Nuts4Climbing who run courses at Harrison’s Rocks for children from as young as eight, and for children who can be complete beginners. They also do family days so that children and their parents can go and climb together. All the necessary equipment is provided – ropes, harness, helmets, shoes ̶ although you will need to bring your own packed lunch and plenty to drink. Nuts4Climbing are running two one-day holiday courses on August 11th and August 18th at £49 for the day including all the equipment, but they also do other regular lessons, birthday climbing parties – these sound like huge fun – and there’s a kids club on Sunday mornings with a trial session for only £12.50. www.rockclimbingclasses.co.uk/ Email: sarah@nuts4climbing. com. Tel: 01892 860670. Karting and more
Buckmore Park is a little bit of child heaven (not just child heaven either). It is principally known as a Go Kart track and as a kart track it is celebrating its 50th anniversary this year, but these days it has other attractions too.
Rock Climbing My daughter, when in her mid-teens, discovered rock climbing and it became a real passion which remains with her to this day some twenty years later. The seeds of this passion were sown and nurtured at Harrison’s Rocks near Groombridge, and just to get things in perspective, Harrison’s Rocks are to climbers what Brands Hatch would be to motor racing types – that is, quite important. August 2014
The main kart track at Buckmore is nothing like those narrow, feeble, indoor tracks. It is a proper, wide outdoor track of 1.2 km and it has considerable elevation changes which add to the buzz. It is host to major races in the karting race calendar, and it’s also the place where Jenson Button and Lewis Hamilton did much of their kart driving when they were young. All of which sets the tone – this is the real McCoy. There can be as many as four different tracks configured at Buckmore including one for children as young as four years old where the karts are electric. Safety is paramount and so the age groups are not mixed – there’s no danger of your inexperienced 10 year old son or daughter, being on track with a fast, experienced, budding Lewis Hamilton. In any case Buckmore is not just for the future Formula 1 drivers of this world. Its aim is to provide a really good day out for everyone: for families, for school groups, for other groups, for birthday celebrations - the permutations of the things to do at Buckmore are endless. For The Onion magazine 13
example, as well as karts there is laser warfare (that’s paintball without the paintballs) in the woods around the circuit and you can do this on its own or combine it with the karting. There are also quad bikes and buggies which you drive around in the woods too. The atmosphere is really exciting and whatever age your children are they will have a great time. www.buckmore.co.uk. Tel: 01634 201562. Driver Training
Getting behind the wheel of a real car when you are young is quite a thrill and The Young Driver scheme means that children from the age of 11 can do this and learn to drive long before they can actually take to the road legally. This excellent scheme allows children to learn in proper, full-size Skoda cars under supervision and with instruction on private ‘roads’ with no other traffic around – well, no other traffic apart from the other nine young drivers who will be on the ‘streets’ with them. While that’s not exactly Hyde Park Corner in the rush hour, it does get a bit busy and, therefore, quite realistic, at times. Our guinea pig was 15 year old Josh Filmer (shown right) who had never driven anything before he climbed into his Skoda with Instructor, Tim Bentley, and it was amazing to me how quickly he and all the other drivers seemed effortlessly to master the controls and to navigate the quite complex street layouts, junctions and figures-of-eight in this unstressed environment. There was no evidence of the kangaroo starts which are usually such a feature of learners having their first drives. And this really is a driving lesson; it’s definitely not lots of talking and very little driving. Josh was actually driving for almost his entire 60 minute lesson, and he really enjoyed it. It was very interesting to see how all the young drivers, girls and boys, grew in confidence as time went on and it was also interesting to see the mixture of huge enjoyment and intense concentration on so many faces. I was very impressed. Bluewater is the nearest venue and they have dates available throughout August and you can book for 60 or 30 minute lessons. www.youngdriver.eu. Tel: 0844 371 9010. 14 The Onion magazine
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(almost) FREE stuff
Exciting and fun as all these things are there’s no denying that they cost money; however there’s stuff which is just as much fun and which is free! Cycling is really good fun, but cycling on our roads is not, in fact it can be downright dangerous if you are cycling with children. But you can cycle for miles in beautiful Bedgebury Forest with no traffic and no noise, and you can do it for nothing, well not quite nothing – there is an admission charge of £9.50 per car if you take your bikes there by car as I guess most people will. The Forestry Commission really encourages cycling on its land and there are a whole variety of cycle tracks or paths at Bedgebury to suit different types of cycling. There are two ‘family’ tracks through the forest, one of 7 miles and a shorter one of only about 2½ miles which is ideal for really young children. For the adventurous there is the 8 mile mountain bike trail. And don’t get the idea that you’ll be paddling about in rutted or muddy paths. The tracks are wide and well maintained, and The Forestry Commission has spent £100,000 on the Mountain bike trail in the last two years. Bedgebury Forest is a magical place and apart from the cycling there are so many other things you can do with children including a Gruffalo trail. Go to www.forestry.gov.uk/forestry/infd-94vgc2 and you will find a host of ideas. Pack the picnic, pack the bikes and off you go. Tel: 01580 879820. And to end on a completely free note, I wonder if you have ever thought of just cycling on the beach at Greatstone? We loved doing this with our daughter. There’s nothing quite like cycling along that wide open expanse of beach on a sunny day, particularly in the early morning or in the evening and then having an ice cream afterwards. Of course you can only do this when the tide is out and at Greatstone, when the tide is out, you feel as if you could cycle to France. Me? Well, my granddaughter is only 10 months old so I’ll just be taking The Editor on my jaunts – she likes a Gruffalo. STOP PRESS Holiday Archery lessons for children by former England International Archer. Must be accompanied by an adult. Two hours for £10. tomxx10@gmail.com Tel: 0746 0190298 All proceeds to Icklesham Church Tower Restoration Fund. (See also on page 18 Little London which describes 201 free/affordable things which you can do with children in London.) August 2014
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THINGS TO DO...
Sense & Sensibility at Ightham Mote Saturday 2 August 19:00 to 21:00 An open-air production by the Chapterhouse Theatre Group of Jane Austen’s classic, following the lives of the Dashwood sisters on their journey to love. Tickets £15 Adult, £9 Child. Booking essential 0844 249 1895. Rye Society of Artists’ Summer Exhibition Saturday 2 August to Monday 25 August 10:30 to 17:30 every day Paintings, prints, photographs, 3D and ceramics. Over 40 artists exhibiting including Fred Cuming RA, Gus Cummins RA, Louis Turpin, Richard Adams and Dave Mckean. At the Boys’ Club, Mermaid Street, Rye, TN31 7ET. www. ryesocietyofartists.co.uk Bodiam Castle’s Grand Medieval Weekend Saturday 2 August and Sunday 3 August 10:30 to 17:00 Join Sir Edward Dallingridge at his Grand Medieval Jousting Tournament. See real jousting knights, falconry displays, the Medieval Siege Society’s re-enactors’ camp and the firing of a mighty, full-sized trebuchet. Tickets available from the Box Office on 0845 249 1895.
2nd Prize: Max Cotterell-East, My Wife-To-Be And Her Mum
1st Prize, 2013: Sam Lovett, Pyrotechnics
3rd Prize: Tim Clifton, My Friend Wilf
Capture the Moment 2014 Capture those special moments in life by taking part in our photographic competition. The competition opens on 1st September and will be split into three categories: ‘Love And Care’, ‘The World Around Us’ and ‘Under 15’s Camera Phone’. The photos will be judged by world renowned photographer Rankin, the De La Warr curator Jane Won and Oliver O’Neil from Legend Photography. All you need to do is get snapping, pick your best shot and submit from the 1st of September. To find out more visit www.stmichaelshospice.com/capturethemoment capturethemoment@stmichaelshospice.com stmichaelshospice
@stmhospice
Registered charity number 288462
16 The Onion magazine
smhospice
Garden Exhibition at Great Dixter Sunday 3 August to Sunday 31 August Rosie MacCurrach has been drawing at Gt Dixter gardens over the last year. She has been recording garden life throughout the seasons; exploring this modern pastoral idyll and developing her drawings into etchings and woodcuts. In this exhibition of her work she captures both the hard work of gardening life and the quiet magic of an empty garden. Entrance to exhibition will be included within the price of an admissions ticket. www.greatdixter.co.uk. Minibeasts at Rye Harbour Nature Reserve (1 mile) Monday 4 August 13:30 to 15:00 Take the family to find out about the weird and wonderful world of minibeasts. Suitable for all ages. Children must be accompanied by an adult. Meet at Rye Harbour car park. Booking essential. Charge £3 per child. www. sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/whatson, email rhnoffice@ sussexwt.org.uk, telephone 01797 227784. Drawing Workshop at Great Dixter Monday 4 August 10:00 to 16:00 This is the first of a series of drawing workshops held at Great Dixter during August. These workshops (also on 11 August, 18 August and 25 August) are an opportunity to explore Great Dixter’s garden through the medium of drawing with Rosie MacCurrach. Attendees will view the exhibition in the Great Barn and Oast and look at books about artists who drew and painted gardens; then it’s off into the garden to draw. Numbers are limited to 20 for each workshop – appropriate for all ages and abilities. Cost £15 a ticket. Attendees should take a packed lunch, although tea and a piece of homemade cake will be provided. www.greatdixter.co.uk
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THINGS TO DO...
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Bows, Arrows and Battle Tactics at Battle Abbey Monday 4 August to Sunday 17 August 10:00 to 17:00 Transform yourself into a noble knight with sword skills, archery and etiquette of the 15th century. Test your creativity with shield painting. The perfect Summer activity for budding knights and princesses. Book on 0870 111 1183. Adult £8, Child £5.80, Concession £7.20, Family £20.80. English Heritage Members free. Battle Abbey and Battlefield, High Street, Battle, TN33 0AD. Tenterden Lions Club Wednesday 6 August 19:00 They meet the first Wednesday of the month at the White Lion in Tenterden, and are always happy to welcome new members. Contact 0845 833 9842.
Fabulousirly Vintage Fa
Marine Week Beach Explorers at Rye Harbour Nature Reserve Wednesday 6 August 11:00 to 13:00 Join the Sussex Wildlife Trust’s Making Waves Officer and explore the beach. Discover the secrets of the strandline with fun activities and games. Suitable for families with children aged 5 to 11yrs. Children must be accompanied by an adult. Meet at Lime Kiln Cottage Information Centre. Booking essential. Contact Nikki Hills nikkihills@ sussexwt.org.uk or telephone 07943 504479. Donations appreciated. Just So Story Day at Bateman’s Wednesday 6 August 12:00 to 16:00 Just So Story Day along with the Jungle Book Trail and other Summer holiday children’s activities. This day is a celebration of stories and books – listen to stories around the garden, take part in bookish crafts and make your own poster using the Bateman’s printing press. £6 for the Just So Story experience or £2.50 for the Trail. Telephone Holly Turner on 01435 882302. Batemans@nationaltrust.org.uk. Outside the Box Comedy Club at Sevenoaks Thursday 7 August 20:00 Have you heard the one about the comedian? Outside the Box is the brainchild of British comedian Maff Brown - they have a monthly line-up at several venues including The Stag Theatre in Sevenoaks. It was named the fourth best comedy club in the UK by The Guardian and called it “a well-loved small night with surprisingly big names”. Those big names have included Lenny Henry, Stephen Merchant, Lee Mack, Sean Hughes, Al Murray and Milton Jones. Tickets £16.50 plus a £2 transaction fee. www. outsidetheboxcomedy.co.uk. Hawkhurst Village Society Thursday 7 August 19:00 Social evening at High Cedars, Theobalds, Hawkhurst, TN18 4AJ with drinks and nibbles. £2 contribution. New members are always welcome to the Society. Contact Peter Emberson on 01580 753010.
50p entrance) (children free
A fabulous day out for all the family Saturday 20th September 10-4pm St Michael’s Hospice Upper Maze Hill St Leonards on Sea TN38 0LB
Beautiful vintage and retro items for sale Furniture, homewares, fashion, haberdashery and local produce Traditional tea room Vintage vehicles Live entertainment Children’s marquee
For further details see www.stmichaelshospice.com/fabulouslyvintage Tel: 01424 457982 stmichaelshospice
@stmhospice
smhospice
Card payments accepted Registered charity number 288462
August 2014
The Onion magazine 17
A GOOD Book
In this column we feature books that we, and our reviewers, like. They may not necessarily be new books, but they’ll be fiction and non-fiction books that we have enjoyed. We’ll always include at least one children’s book in the selection each time. We’d love to hear your thoughts on anything you feel we should be reading and sharing with others.
Little London By Sunshine Jackson and Kate Hodges Published by Virgin Books Spring 2014 Price £12.99. Hardback. Non-fiction
This book is a real find. Laid out very sensibly in month order, it takes you through from January to December giving, in all, 201 free or affordable ideas for things to do with children in London – it’s also delightfully designed and illustrated. Just taking August, for instance, it has some great places to go swimming, where to go to find top shows which offer free tickets for children during August (have a look at www.kidsweek.co.uk), the South Asian culture festival, pedalos in Regent’s Park, the zoo, the mass skate-a-long every Saturday in Battersea Park, white-water rafting (in London? Yes.) horse-riding or cycling in Lee Valley Park, the Notting Hill Carnival, lion hunting in London (there are over 10,000 lion statues across London), find the Seven Noses of Soho, spot the peregrines on the rooftop at the Tate Modern, where to make a den in an urban woodland, see a grisly exhibition at the Wellcome 18 The Onion magazine
Collection. And that’s just August. This book has been written by people who have been to these places and done these things – it’s like a recommendation from a good friend. It also has loads of ideas for craft activities and recipes to do on a rainy day at home. And you can sign up for free weekly updates to accompany the book at thehopscotchnewsletter.com. I loved this book and urge you to head to London to explore - and perhaps to plan for the rest of the year too. Reviewed by Jessica Harding
Cool Camping: Britain Published by Punk Publishing Spring 2014 ISBN: 9781906889616 Price: £16.95. Paperback. Non-fiction
It’s August, it’s the Summer hols and the time to enjoy simple pleasures in the British countryside – simple pleasures such as camping. I know that camping isn’t everyone’s idea of fun, but there
are so many wonderful places to stay now – even if it’s raining. Actually, it’s not obligatory to put up with soggy socks and dripping canvas, it’s just the wimps among us who think that – me included. Some of the best camping books I know are the ‘Cool Camping’ series from Punk Publishing. Any book that can make me think seriously about camping must be good and I wanted to share them with you so I asked Punk if they’d provide some copies for people to win and they said yes (see page 39). One of the latest in the series and only just published this year is Cool Camping Britain which is absolutely stuffed with every sort of campsite in England, Wales and Scotland: tiny, large, rural, posh, quirky, bucolic, dog-friendly, campfire-friendly, riverside, beachside, mountainside, first-time camping and old-hand camping – there are 93 campsites in all, from the Isles of Scilly to the Orkneys. If, however, you like the idea of camping but not the idea of ‘tenting’ and hate the thought of soggy canvas, you can always stay in something a little more substantial and perhaps a little different. Why not try, for example, a 1930s showman’s wagon, a wooden sleeping pod, a yurt, a gypsy wagon, a tree-house, a ‘hobbit home’, or onionmagazine.co.uk
even a reconstructed Iron-Age roundhouse. You can do all of these things in some of the ultra ‘Cool’ places featured, but there are also a huge number of sites included because they’re remote, or have got stunning views, or are just simply fabulous places to be. Stuffed with all the practical details too, Cool Camping Britain will make any non-camper or lapsed camper want to stuff a tent in the back of the car and head off immediately. That’s cool. Reviewed by Carol Farley
AA Gill is away By A A Gill Published 2002 by Orion ISBN: 9780743276672 Non-fiction. Paperback £8.99
Each week I pick up The Sunday Times and turn immediately to A.A. Gill’s restaurant review column. I do this not because I’m in the least interested in the fashionable London restaurants he mostly chooses to write about, I do this because he is one of the very few journalists left in any field whose articles are worth reading simply because they are a delight to read whatever they are about. It is a very sad Sunday, therefore, when I turn to the usual page to find that some awful lesser being August 2014
has written the review, thus rendering it irrelevant, and at the foot of the page there is a bald explanatory note saying simply that “A.A. Gill is away”. Often, it seems, A.A. Gill is away travelling, perhaps on holiday or perhaps on some journalistic mission; who knows? It doesn’t really matter; the point is that some of the articles he has written whilst he’s been away are collected in this entertaining book simply and accurately entitled “A.A. Gill is away”. A book with a simple title and, as you can see, an even simpler cover design. Gill will make you smile all of the time, make you laugh out loud sometimes and, surprisingly, he will even make you care occasionally: his piece on famine in the Sudan, for example, is the only report in any medium, written or broadcast, which has made me understand (I think) what a famine actually means to those who have to endure it. The irony of a London restaurant critic writing about an African famine is not lost on me, but it is a brilliant piece of writing, and even as he makes me actually care about this for the very first time in my cosseted, wanton and want-less life, he manages to make me smile about this awful subject too. His words enable me to see what countless earnest TV news films and Bob Geldof have failed for years to make me see or to care about. I know that this is not a new book – apparently it was first published in 2002 – but for some reason I have only just discovered it. It’s still available and I urge all you Gillisti to get it, and if you are not yet of the
Gill persuasion, then this is a good place to start. It’s a super book and I’m already re-reading it. Reviewed by Nick Farley
Charlie Merrick’s Misfits in Fouls, Friends and Football By Dave Cousins Published by Oxford University Press ISBN: 9780192736598 Price: £6.99. Paperback. Non-fiction for children.
I have reviewed ‘Charlie Merrick’s misfits: Fouls, friends and my world cup’ as I love football and it’s a world cup year! This book is AMAZING! It’s about a boy and his football team going head-to-head against other better teams to defeat elimination from the league. It teaches you to take defeat and enjoy success! If you love FOOTY then this is perfect for you! If you don’t like FOOTY it’s still a good read and teaches you life lessons for everything! It’s my all-round favourite book this year. Reviewed by Daisy David, aged 10
The Onion magazine 19
The Amazing Wild Camel What on earth is a wild camel and, furthermore, what has it got to do with Hole Park in Rolvenden?
2012 two bull camels were successfully released into the Mongolian Gobi.
The wild camel is a native of the bleak Gobi desert in Mongolia and also of the Desert of Lop in North-West China. The Desert of Lop, in case you were wondering, is even harsher than the Gobi because, apart from anything else, there is no fresh water there. The 600 or so wild camels who live in the Desert of Lop, survive, believe it or not, on salt water with a higher content of salt than sea water.
The wild camel is obviously different from the single-hump camels you might see wandering past the Pyramids and although it looks similar to the Bactrian it isn’t a Bactrian camel either: the WCPF had been sending samples of wild camel skin, bone and hair to the Veterinary University of Vienna for DNA testing and finally, in 2008, the University declared the wild double-humped camel, camelus ferus, to be a new and separate species of camel, which separated from any other known form of camel 700,000 years ago.
What’s more, until 1979 the Desert of Lop was the nuclear test area of China and the wild camels living there survived 43 atmospheric nuclear tests of which over half were more powerful than the bomb dropped on Hiroshima at the end of the Second World War. So you can see that the wild camel is not your ordinary run-of-the-mill job; it is an amazing creature that can live on salt water and can endure nuclear explosions and their fall-out, and yet despite these remarkable survival qualities it is one of the most endangered large mammals in the world. The Wild Camel Protection Foundation (WCPF), a UK registered charity based at School Farm, Benenden, was founded by explorer and conservationist John Hare in 1997 to protect these incredible animals, and in 2002 the Foundation managed to acquire the necessary funds from the World Bank and persuaded the Chinese government to turn its former nuclear test site in the Desert of Lop into a 155,000 square kilometres Nature Reserve - that’s an area about a third of the size of France and it has no fresh water, not a single drop. In addition to the camels in China there are 450 in Mongolia, and the WCPF established a wild camel breeding centre there in 2004 with 12 captive wild camels. Today they have 25 camels, and in 20 The Onion magazine
This was a momentous announcement for the Wild Camel Protection Foundation. So where does Hole Park come in to this fascinating story? Well, every year the WCPF needs to raise $10,000 just to buy the hay needed to keep the captive wild camels at the breeding centre in Mongolia alive during the harsh Mongolian winter where temperatures plummet to minus 40⁰C, and in order to help raise that sum there is a Camel Race Day at Hole Park on 7th September. There will be camel races, (not with wild camels, I hasten to add), pig races, Mongolian wrestling and music, side-shows and stalls and all the fun of the fair. It starts at 2.00pm. Do go and support the quite amazing wild camel. For more information go to: www.wildcamels. com or www.johnhare.org.uk. onionmagazine.co.uk
EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS ... THINGS TO DO
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Tenterden Rotary Club Thursday 7, 14, 21 & 28 August 19:00 Tenterden Rotary Club meets every Thursday evening at the Tenterden Club, Church Road, Tenterden. New members are always welcome. Contact Club Secretary Chris Northen, 01233 851020, email chris@northen.net. www.tenterdenrotary.org.uk. West Dean’s Chilli Fiesta Friday 8 August to Sunday 10 August 10:30 to 23:00 I know that West Dean is out of our area but we have been going to this for years and it is great fun. It’s one of the biggest and original chilli festivals in the UK with live entertainment, great food available from over 150 stallholders, 250 varieties of chilli plants in their glorious Victorian glasshouses, talks and demos on growing chillies at home, gardening and cookery theatres, lots of bars and chilli-related foods everywhere on the site. www. westdean.org.uk/chilli. West Dean Gardens, nr Chichester, West Sussex PO18 0RX. Northiam Village Fair Saturday 9 August 09:00 to 16:00 On the Playing Fields in Northiam Village you will find a Boot Fair from 9am, and a traditional Village Fair with children’s amusements, classic cars and motorcycles,
Join us!
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refreshments, a fire engine, plants, a dog show and lots of craft and charity stalls. Enquiries and bookings telephone Marie Edwards on 01797 253264. Winchelsea Summer Fete and Fun Dog Show Saturday 9 August 13:30 to 17:00 A traditional Summer event for all the family held on the town’s cricket field overlooking the lovely Brede Valley. Attractions include a fun dog show, birds of prey, the Pett Level Rescue Boat, games for the children (and grown-ups), craft stalls, refreshments, Pimm’s bar, Battle Town Band, barbeque, tombola and raffle. Adult entry is £1, children and car parking are free. Craft Market at Highbury Hall, Tenterden Saturday 9 August 10:00 to 16:00 A wide variety of crafts and produce from local artists, craftsmen, producers and retailers. All the stallholders are from Kent & East Sussex and offer something for everyone. Free admission. Tea and coffee, sandwiches and homemade cake and other treats are available all day. All profits from organising this event go to Tenterden Youth Club for the Youth Café project. Kellys Keepsake Cards also donate 10% of all their sales to the Air Ambulance. For more details contact 07956 295076.
www.tenterdentown.co.uk/joinchamber
It’s the best business decision you will make...
Over 200 member businesses - monthly networking meetings - showcase your business advertise on the Tenterden website - display at the Tenterden business fair in June social media help - join in the Love Tenterden loyalty card scheme August 2014
8753
Tenterden & District Chamber of Commerce
The Onion magazine 21
Soundingoff Apostrophe Catastrophe So which came first: CD’s, DVD’s or HGV’s? Who was it that first stumbled at the capital letters and slapped on the rogue apostrophe out of fear? Was it some anxious barman who felt the need to advertise Martini’s and Banger’s and Mash? Alas, there’s no going back, and it’s sad that it has now spread to the perfectly legitimate possessive apostrophe with the recent decree that there would be no more apostrophes in street names. It’s a shame. Future generations won’t understand that the King’s Road was the monarch’s route to his country palace or Queen’s Gate was exactly that. I’m reasonably good on apostrophes, much less so on the split infinitive. When my children were old enough and I returned to work in newspapers I got a job as a sub-editor on a major Sunday newspaper. This was uncharted territory for me; formerly I’d simply been a writer and thrown my gibberish carelessly at the subs to wrestle into correct form. Being a sub myself was an eye opener. Respected columnists, journalists and contributors to this Sunday newspaper committed total howlers, particularly with the apostrophe. The worst howler in my time there was in 60 point type on the front of the Review section. The headline read ‘Whose afraid of the Magic Flute?’ This was due to a set of unfortunate circumstances: The Review editorial staff were housed in an office quite removed from the main paper and, importantly, removed
from the design team. The design desk rang to ask what the headline was to be as time was tight. They were told. We should have remembered that a designer’s speciality is design, not grammar. Boy, was there an uproar on Sunday. The erudite readers rang and wrote in their hundreds. A former sub, John Richards, founded the Apostrophe Protection Society in 2001. He was quoted recently when the Daily Telegraph rang him for a comment following the discovery of a temporary road sign in Hartlepool that read ‘Parking Bay’s Suspended’. “My reaction is mainly bewilderment mixed with irritation,” he said. “What on earth does the apostrophe mean? Plurals never need an apostrophe. The apostrophe obviously still needs protection.” Although quite how it can be protected is difficult to see. English is a pretty complicated language and a combination of less rigorous teaching and the dumbing-down effect of textspeak is a pretty toxic mixture. Who knows where it will all go. Who know’s? Caroline Boucher
If you would like to Sound Off about anything, then please feel free to do that here. This column is open to everyone to say what they like about anything, provided, of course, that they don’t break the law. We obviously won’t print anything that is libellous or that is in some other way illegal. It’s your opinions that we’re interested in. If you have something to say about anything at all, and if you can say it in about 500 words, then let us have it. We don’t have to agree with you, but if you have an interesting point of view we will print it. Send your piece to carol@ onionpublishing.co.uk. The article can appear with your name or anonymously, you can choose, but do make sure that you include your name and address when submitting your piece. 22 The Onion magazine
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The evening light at Great Dixter Saturday 9 August 18:00 to 21:00 On this special evening there is a chance to see the exhibition of work by Rosie MacCurrach being held in the Great Barn and Oast at Great Dixter in Northiam. Have a glass of sparkling wine, meet the artist, nibble home-made delicacies and enjoy the gardens in the evening light the day before the ‘supermoon’. £20 per person. Telephone 01797 254048 or book online at www.greatdixter.co.uk. Caught in a Trap! at Rye Harbour Nature Reserve Sunday 10 August 10:00 A final chance to inspect the nature reserve’s moth trap. Meet at Lime Kiln Cottage Information Centre. Wheelchair accessible. No booking necessary. Donations appreciated. www.sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/whatson, email rhnoffice@sussexwt.org.uk, telephone 01797 227784. La Traviata at Kino, Hawkhurst Sunday 10 August 17:30 Live broadcast from Glyndebourne at the Kino in Hawkhurst. In their Glyndebourne debut, Russian soprano Venera Gimadieva portrays the lead role opposite American tenor Michael Fabiano as Alfredo in Verdi’s opera La Traviata. Sung in Italian with English supertitles. Running time approx. 180 minutes including one interval.
COUNTRY Markets EVERY TUESDAY 09:00 to 11:00 Wittersham Wittersham Village Hall, The Street EVERY WEDNESDAY 10:00 to 13:00 Rye Strand Quay, Rye, East Sussex, TN31 7AY EVERY THURSDAY 09:00 to 12noon Rolvenden Farmers’ Market, St Mary’s Church, Rolvenden, TN18 5PN Rolvenden Village Hall, Maytham Road, Rolvenden, TN17 4ND
Drawing Workshop at Great Dixter Monday 11 August 10:00 to 16:00 This is the second of a series of drawing workshops held at Great Dixter during August. These workshops (also on 18 August and 25 August) are an opportunity to explore Great Dixter’s garden through the medium of drawing with Rosie MacCurrach. Attendees will view the exhibition in the Great Barn and Oast and look at books about artists who drew and painted gardens; then it’s off into the garden to draw. Numbers are limited to 20 for each workshop – appropriate for all ages and abilities. Cost £15 a ticket. Attendees should take a packed lunch, although tea and a piece of homemade cake will be provided.
EVERY FRIDAY 10:00 to 12noon Brede Brede Village Hall, Cackle Street, Brede, East Sussex, TN31 6DX
Brilliant Birds at Rye Harbour Nature Reserve (2 miles) Tuesday 12 August 14:00 to 16:00 Go along and learn all about the birds that live at the Reserve in the Summer with a walk around some of the bird hides. Binoculars can be provided. Suitable for accompanied children aged 5 and over. Meet at Rye Harbour car park. Booking essential. Charge £3 per child. www.sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/whatson, email rhnoffice@sussexwt.org.uk, telephone 01797 227784.
EVERY FRIDAY 07.00 to 15.30 Tenterden Market Square, behind Savannah Coffee Shop, Tenterden & Tenterden High Street from 08:30 to 14.30
Jungle Book Tree Climbing at Bateman’s Tuesday 12 August and Wednesday 13 August 10:00 Two highly skilled and friendly instructors from The Great Big Tree Climbing Company aim to help all ages reach new heights in a fantastic tree at Bateman’s. They will teach you how to get to a tree’s canopy using ropes, knots and karabiners (whilst being securely attached in a harness at all times). Once at the top of the tree you can take the zip August 2014
EVERY FRIDAY 09.30 to 11.30 Tenterden (Formerly the WI Market) St Mildred’s Church Hall, Church Road, Tenterden TN30 7NE
FRIDAY 8 AUGUST and FRIDAY 22 AUGUST 10:00 to 15:30 Sissinghurst Castle Sissinghurst Castle, Biddenden Road, Cranbrook, Kent, TN17 2AB SATURDAY 23 AUGUST 9:30 to 13:00 Cranbrook Vestry Hall, High Street, Cranbrook, TN17 3HF The Onion magazine 23
Rye Arts Festival Why not just block out September the 12th to the 28th in your diary and spend that time at the 43rd annual Rye Arts Festival? The Rye Festival is one of the UK’s top smaller festivals and you will be staggered at the amount and variety of what it has to offer. There really is something for everyone and for every taste, with sixty or more free and paid-for shows and events over a packed fortnight. This hugely diverse festival will include music of every kind – classical, jazz, folk, contemporary, country, you name it, Rye’s got it. There are literary talks, theatre, comedy, dance, walks, exhibitions and much, much more. The whole Festival kicks off with a fantastic free hors d’oeuvre: a concert on Friday 12th September by the celebrated Hallelujah Trails bluegrass/Americana /country trio – tickets on a first-come first-served basis from the box office office.boxoffice@ryeartsfestival.co.uk – and this is followed on the first Saturday, Sept 13th, by La Traviata, a fully-staged opera performed by professional singers with Icelandic soprano Rannveig Káradóttir in the title role, and a full orchestra conducted by Alasdair Kitchen, the guiding creative light at The Euphonia Company which last delighted us here with Cosi fan Tutte two years ago. The Festival closes on Sunday 28th with The English Concert, Europe’s leading Baroque orchestra, giving a concert of Bach and Vivaldi in St Mary’s Church, but between these fabulous opening and closing events there will be a whole series of concerts, including a week-long residency by the acclaimed Piatti Quartet, who have appeared all over the world and who will be joined in Rye by various guests to become sometimes a quintet and even a sextet. They say “We are planning a spectacular array of events that should please any and all musical taste 24 The Onion magazine
buds, such as collaboration concerts with some wonderful guest artists, local masterclasses and workshops and even an evening of classical entertainment in the local pub”. This last, incidentally, is one of the many free events at this year’s Festival. There is music of every description: there’s folk music from Philip Henry and Hannah Martin, jazz with the Skidmore and King Quintet, and French singer, Flossie Malvialle, sings the songs of Piaf and Jacques Brel, while the traditional Irish music group, Dervish, fresh from this year’s Glastonbury Festival and led by raconteur, wit and singer with the voice of an angel, Cathy Jordan, return to Rye on the 26th after a gap of two years. Larger than life Gyles Brandreth is another wonderful performer that we are delighted to welcome back to Rye; he will be in The Milligan Theatre on the 21st with his sell-out show from The Edinburgh Festival, Looking for Happiness. And the packed and varied literary and talks programme includes the irrepressible Henry Blofeld who is bound to raise a lot of laughs on 20th Sept with tales of onionmagazine.co.uk
his cricketing life, while Sarah Raven, the Daily Telegraph gardening writer, entrepreneur and chatelaine of Sissinghurst will be talking about Vita Sackville-West and the creation of Sissinghurst’s famous gardens. And in complete contrast, on the 23rd, Vicky Pryce, who took the points but not the bullets for ex-husband, Chris Huhne, uses her experience in gaol to talk about reforms. Theatre is represented by a fantastic one-man play called The Rain that Washes, which traces the true story of one young black man’s dramatic life-story during and after the revolution in Zimbabwe. This play was a huge success at last year’s Edinburgh Festival. On a lighter note there’s
Bite-Size Plays from the White Room Theatre Company on the 25th. The fabulous Duende Flamenco Group will be giving a show on the 17th in the evening, but they will also be teaching you to do the flamenco on the same day at 12.30, lunchtime, and you can watch and learn to tango too with Los Mareados on the 14th. There is just so much to do, to see and to hear at The Rye Arts Festival this year that it is impossible to do more than scratch the surface in this article. The range of different musical offerings alone would fill the magazine twice over. Go to the website www. ryeartsfestival.co.uk or call the box office on 01797 224442. Far left, from top: Rannveig Káradóttir sings the title role in La Traviata on Sept 13th. Pete King one of the world’s leading jazz saxophonists plays on Sept 23rd. Gyles Brandreth performs at The Milligan Theatre on Sept 21st. Left from top: Duende Flamenco appear on Sept 17th. Henry Blofeld talks about a cricketing life on Sept 20th.
THE ONION’S REVIEWING POLICY From time to time in the magazine we review places to eat, places to visit, things to see, books to read and ‘Good Gadgets’. Our policy is to be at all times objective and to base the reviews on our own experience and not on press releases, advertising blurb or second-hand information. So, for example, we go to restaurants or pubs incognito and pay for our food and drink. It would be impossible to be objective if that were not the case. Opinions expressed about things are always based on our actual experiences. The one exception to this rule is books: we do receive free books from publishers, but we only include in ‘A Good Book’ those books which we can recommend. The other books which, in our view, are not a good read are simply not included. In other words, we think that there is no point in telling you not to visit a particular restaurant, or not to buy some gadget, or not to read a certain book. Rather, we prefer to tell you, in our opinion, or sometimes in the opinion of a trusted correspondent, where it is worth eating, what is worth reading and so on. When we have a bad experience it will simply go unreported. August 2014
The Onion magazine 25
EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS .. THINGS TO DO
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wire back down. £15.50. Booking essential. Telephone Andy 0800 055 6760, andy@bigtreeclimbing.co.uk. Bateman’s, Burwash, Etchingham. Brede WI Wednesday 13 August 14:00 The Brede WI meets on the second Wednesday of each month at Brede Village Hall. There is a programme of interesting speakers and events throughout the year and they are always delighted to welcome guests and potential members. They urge people to go along and try them out. For further information contact Beryl Jenkins on 01424 883475. Wild Beach for Families at Rye Harbour Nature Reserve Wednesday 13 August 14:00 to 16:00 Reconnecting people and their marine environment is at the heart of the Sussex Wildlife Trust’s Wild Beach ethos. Dip your toe in for a taster of what it’s all about and enjoy some family time on the beach putting up shelters, making hot chocolate and playing some games. Suitable for accompanied children aged 5 and over. Meet at Rye Harbour car park. Booking essential. Donations appreciated. www.sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/whatson, email rhnoffice@sussexwt.org.uk, telephone 01797 227784.
Hallwood Farm Oast B & B
Traditional oast house conversion with top quality accommodation set in 200 acres of lovely countryside on a working fruit farm near Cranbrook. A perfect base from which to explore the Weald of Kent
Mrs Sarah Wickham www.hallwoodfarm.co.uk 01580 712416
Great B&B in the heart of the French Pyrenees
‘Creepy Kent’ by Neil Arnold Thursday 14 August 19:30 Neil Arnold plans to take us on a spooky trip to the darker side of Kent, including Pluckley, the most haunted village in Britain for the Tenterden and District National Trust Association at the Tenterden Junior School, Recreation Ground Road, Tenterden. Visitors welcome. Members £4 and non-Members £5. Telephone 01580 764791. Meet a modern-day plant hunter at Bedgebury Thursday 14 August 10:00 to 12:00 Go behind the scenes at the Pinetum. Bedgebury staff go all over the world collecting conifer seeds, and you can go and meet one of them to find out how the best seeds are brought back to Bedgebury to ensure the survival of rare species. He’ll show how he climbed trees and there will be the chance to ask him about his work. Why not go dressed as a plant hunter? Cost per child £6. Booking essential, numbers limited. Children must be accompanied by an adult during the whole event. Pre-book and get free car admission (normally £9.50) for the rest of the day. Telephone 01580 879820. Pond Dipping at Castle Water – Rye Harbour Nature Reserve (2 miles) Thursday 14 August 14:00 to 16:00 ad_Layout 1 14/08/2012 APenny walk through the nature reserve to16:23 CastlePage Water1 to find out what wildlife lurks amongst the reeds. Suitable for
HOLIDAY HOME SOUTH OF FRANCE Comfortable village gite to let, sleeps 8, in picturesque Languedoc ‘Cathar Country’. Near castles, dramatic gorges, Carcassonne and Canal du Midi. Visit the website www.bugarachgite.co.uk Tel 01252 712233 or email penny.kitchen@btopenworld.com
We survived and Cornwall is open for business!
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20mins from Lourdes and an ideal base for walking, cycling and exploring this beautiful region. Friendly, helpful hosts and delicious evening meals. Tel: 00 33 5 62 91 21 98 www.allezpyrenees.com 26 The Onion magazine
Tel: 01872 501187
No answer? Leave us your number and we’re always happy to ring you back. Sorry, no pets & smoking onionmagazine.co.uk
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accompanied children able to walk one mile across fields to Castle Water. Meet at Brede Lock. Booking essential. Charge £3 per child. www.sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/ whatson, email rhnoffice@sussexwt.org.uk, telephone 01797 227784.
£8, OAPs £5, Children 5-16yrs £4, under 5s free, Family (2 Adults and 3 Children) £20. Free parking. In support of St Michael’s Hospice. www.1066gameandcountryfayre. co.uk, telephone 07942 878107. Normanhurst Estate, Broomham Farm, Catsfield, East Sussex TN33 9DL.
Annual Exhibition of Paintings in Rye Friday 15 August daily until Monday 25 August The Tuesday Painters Club of Rye is holding its 51st Annual Exhibition of Paintings at the St Mary’s Centre, Lion Street, Rye. It opens on Friday 15th August at 2pm and then will be open daily from 10am to 6pm until 25th August.
Country Life Show at Beech Court Gardens Sunday 17 August 11:00 to 16:30 The Family Country Life Show explains all the wonderful things that the rural life offers. Visitors can learn about bees with a talk about bee keeping, meet the alpacas and see how to make socks, neck wraps and pullovers. There are egg painting competitions, Blacksmiths demonstrating how to bend iron and make brackets, the Kent Poultry Club with their lovely ducks, geese and chickens, cheesemaking and hand-turned butter. Homemade lunches and teas are available from the Oast House Tea Room. Entry Adults £5, OAPs £4.50, Children under 16 £1 and under 5s free. Admission includes free entry into the gardens. 01233 740735. www.beachcourtgardens.co.uk. Beech Court Gardens, Challock, nr Ashford, TN25 4DJ (off the A252).
Pop-Up Supper at Great Dixter, Northiam Saturday 16 August 19:00 Enjoy a ‘pop-up’ supper served in Great Dixter’s Medieval Great Barn. There will be drinks in the garden followed by a set menu inspired by the Great Dixter vegetable garden. Places are limited to 40. £50 a head. Telephone 01797 254048 or book online at www.greatdixter.co.uk. 1066 Game & Country Fayre at Catsfield Saturday 16 August and Sunday 17 August 09:00 to 17:00 This is the first 1066 Game & Country Fayre – it promises lots to see and do for the whole family. Events include: clay pigeon shooting; paintball/nerf gun arena; falconry; gun dogs and agility; family dog show; beer tent; children’s rides and entertainment; scurry and fly-ball; trade stalls. Adults
Drawing Workshop at Great Dixter Monday 18 August 10:00 to 16:00 This is one of a series of drawing workshops held at Great Dixter during August. These workshops (also on 25 August) are an opportunity to explore Great Dixter’s garden through
Northiam Village Fair Saturday 9th August - 10am to 4pm on the playing fields
Boot Fair Set up from 8am Open to public from 9am Children’s amusements Music Dog Show Up to 10 Classes Registration from 11am
Traditional Village Fair
Fire Engine Becky’s Police Neighbourhood Watch
WI Refreshments Licensed Bar Jack’s Ice Creams Ian’s Food Wagon Plants
Fun Tug of War Classic Cars & Motorcycles
& lots of Craft & Charity Stalls Enquiries and Bookings – phone Marie Edwards on 01797 253264 August 2014
The Onion magazine 27
AUGUST GARDENING
By Jack Hebden Many of us in this area, perhaps even most of us, have to do our gardening on that most hideous, back-breaking and tearinducing of ‘soils’ – clay. Clay is good for garden pots but not for gardens. I hate it. How many times have you launched into some exciting new gardening project only to have the evil clay suck the very lifeforce from you within minutes of starting it? Over the years I have worked out that there’s only about an hour and a half in the Spring when you can actually work clay; before that it is the most awful sticky, clinging stodge, and after that, almost overnight it turns into its Summer brick state. In my early days of clay gardening near Crowborough, I had such ambition and I was determined to conquer the ghastly stuff. I learned my lesson painfully and slowly, but eventually clay and I came to an accommodation; by which I mean the clay won. 28 The Onion magazine
The TV ‘experts’ will tell you to dig in lots of compost, and there’s three things wrong with that smug piece of advice: first is the word ‘dig’ – when and for how long do they suppose that those of us with a normal backbone are going to dig clay? Secondly, where do they think we are going to get lots of compost? And finally, even if we did manage to get lots of the stuff, any self-respecting clay soil will eat every ounce of compost you give it and it will make virtually no difference. Don’t waste your time unless you want to create a garden in the long term for your children or even your grandchildren. You probably won’t see the benefit in your lifetime. Nowadays I don’t fight clay. I don’t try to make friable seedbeds and I don’t try to create an onionmagazine.co.uk
very wet November. My blood still runs cold at the thought, but I was young then. The mainstays of my clay garden today are heathers, azaleas, roses and hydrangeas. They all thrive in the clay. None of them requires much working of the soil, if any at all. And they provide a succession of interest and colour for most of the year. The roses this year, as I write this, have been better than I have ever known them. The coincidence of a prolonged dry and relatively still period of weather just as they were hitting their stride has resulted in a spectacular display. In past years too often rain and winds have damaged the blooms and shortened the display. The hydrangeas began to flower in June and some will continue flowering until well into the Autumn. I have a love/hate relationship with them. Frankly, they can look a bit ‘nelly’ can’t they? In fact it’s only the mop-cap types that have this effect on me and so gradually I’m going to switch over to predominantly lace-cap varieties which are much more delicate and less blowsy, if you know what I mean. I’m also going to grow some of the beautiful paniculata varieties. Their shape is to my eyes so much more attractive than the standard mop-caps. However, the value of any hydrangeas to we clay gardeners is that, despite what the books say, they seem to do well in clay, they flower for long periods and they require relatively little attention. Look at those in bloom now in other gardens and decide which will be the best ones for you to plant this Autumn.
Left: Lace cap hydrangea Bluebird Top: Good old blowsy mop cap in my garden (variety unknown) Middle: Hydrangea Paniculata Grandiflora Bottom: Nasturtiums filling in a ‘bulb gap’
herbaceous border to rival Wisley. Now, I bend with the breeze rather than allow it to break me. What I do now is plant things that once planted stay put and require virtually no soil work. The actual planting can sometimes be a bit daunting and I am reminded of planting 120 roses - Elizabeth of Glamis - in a clay bank one August 2014
Another part of my plant-once-and-forget clay strategy involves using a lot of bulbs, but when they have died down they can leave some awkward gaps. One clay-easy way to fill those gaps is to use nasturtiums. All you do is press a few nasturtium seeds into the ground as the bulb foliage is dying down and forget about them. Then suddenly one day they will appear and in no time at all they will be giving you fantastic flowers over a very long period, and once again it won’t involve you in any clay wrestling. I’m not suggesting that you smother your garden with nasturtiums, you can have too much of a good thing, but they have such wonderful flowers and foliage and they ask for so little. Finally, and continuing the clay busting theme, I urge you to plant some raspberries this Winter if you haven’t got them in your garden already. There is the initial pain of planting them but once done, it’s done, and you will enjoy years of luscious crops. Particularly recommended is the variety Autumn Bliss which started giving us fruit in July and will continue to do so well into the Autumn. The Onion magazine 29
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the medium of drawing with Rosie MacCurrach. Attendees will view the exhibition in the Great Barn and Oast and look at books about artists who drew and painted gardens; then it’s off into the garden to draw. Numbers are limited to 20 for each workshop – appropriate for all ages and abilities. Cost £15 a ticket. Attendees should take a packed lunch, although tea and a piece of homemade cake will be provided. www.greatdixter.co.uk Wild Art at Rye Harbour Nature Reserve Tuesday 19 August 10:00 to 12:00 Help create a giant piece of art based on the nature reserve’s wildlife. Suitable for accompanied children aged 5 and over. Meet at Lime Kiln Cottage Information Centre. No booking necessary. Donations appreciated. www. sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/whatson, email rhnoffice@ sussexwt.org.uk, telephone 01797 227784. Mud, Mud, Glorious Mud at Rye Harbour Nature Reserve (1 mile) Wednesday 20 August 14:00 to 15:30 Explore the saltmarsh looking for crabs and minibeasts hiding in the mud. Wellies advisable! Suitable for all ages. Children must be accompanied by an adult. Meet at Lime Kiln Cottage Information Centre. Booking essential. Charge £3 per child. Telephone 01797 227784. Shrimping at Rye Harbour Nature Reserve (1.5 miles) Thursday 21 August 14:00 to 16:00 Use the reserve’s shrimp nets to catch shrimps, crabs and flat fish in the sea at low tide. Don’t forget to wear shoes and clothes suitable for paddling in the water. Meet at Lime Kiln Cottage Information Centre. Suitable for accompanied children aged 5 and over. Booking essential. Charge £3 per child. www.sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/whatson, email rhnoffice@sussexwt.org.uk, telephone 01797 227784. National Youth Ballet 2014 Season at The Stag Theatre Thursday 21 August to Saturday 23 August (matinee and evening) The National Youth Ballet returns to Sevenoaks with an exciting new programme for all ages. The programme includes a favourite ballet, The Dolls’ House Fantasia with magical Strauss score, and premieres several thrilling new works by talented alumni. Top of the bill will be the premiere of choreographer Drew McOnie’s innovative jazz ballet Little Red Riding Hood, with music by Tom Deering. Tickets Adults £18.50, children £12.50. www. stagsevenoaks.co.uk. History of Britain at Scotney Castle Friday 22 August 19:00 to 22:00 The History of Britain as never seen before. The criticallyacclaimed Pantaloons Theatre Company conduct a breathless race through the centuries in his inventive open-air show. This hysterical show is packed with songs, sketches and silliness and is suitable for all ages. Tickets Adult £13.50, Child £8, Family £40. Booking essential on 0844 249 1895. 30 The Onion magazine
BAZAAR at The Walled Nursery Friday 22 August to Monday 25 August Leave the Weald of Kent behind you and step into Rajasthan for the weekend. Fair trade jewellery, clothing, homeware from India and Nepal, authentic Indian curries served every day as well as tea and cakes. Craft workshops every day – excellent for children. On Friday 22 August at 11am Jo Hall, the owner of Bazaar talks ‘Mud, Mirror and Stitch’ looking at textile processes in India. On Saturday 23 August be entertained by Omorose and her dancers. www.thewallednursery.com. The Walled Nursery, Water Lane, Hawkhurst, Kent, TN18 5DH. Tel 01580 752425. Flower Festival, Brede Saturday 23, Sunday 24 and Monday 25 August 10:00 to 17:00 There will be 35 displays with the theme of a child’s book and around 54 arrangements will transform St George’s Church, Brede. Open on Saturday and Monday from 10am and on Sunday from 10.30am. Refreshments, lunches and teas will be available, along with various stalls each day, a grand raffle and a children’s stall where they can make their own flower arrangements. Weather permitting, trip up the Tower will allow visitors to enjoy the amazing views over the Brede Valley. Entrance is free but donations are appreciated. Art Exhibition, Brede Village Hall Saturday 23, Sunday 24 and Monday 25 August 10:00 to 16:00 Free parking, and free entry to this exhibition of art. Refreshments available. Telephone Val Michaux on 01797 253395. Sussex Guild Craft Show at Pashley Manor Gardens Saturday 23, Sunday 24 and Monday 25 August 10:00 to 17:00 The Sussex Guild will be showing exciting new crafts this year at the fourteenth show held at Pashley. Applicants to The Sussex Guild have to undergo a rigorous selection process, so their work is of the highest standard. Visitors will have the opportunity to talk to the craftsmen and women about their work and to see several craft demonstrations. Special entry price of £8 includes entry to the show and the gardens. www.pashleymanorgardens. com, info@pashleymanorgardens.com, telephone 01580 200888. Pashley Manor Gardens, Ticehurst, East Sussex TN5 7HE. Family Pond Dipping and Birdwatching at Castle Water (2.5 miles) Sunday 24 August 14:00 to 16:30 Hunt for water-beetles, backswimmers and leeches in the ditches at the Rye Harbour Nature Reserve, then look for terns, gulls, ducks and waders from the birdwatching hide. Pond dipping nets and binoculars are provided. Suitable for all ages. Children must be accompanied by an adult. Meet at Brede Lock. No booking necessary. Donations appreciated. onionmagazine.co.uk
EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS ... THINGS TO DO
www.sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/whatson, email rhnoffice@sussexwt.org.uk, telephone 01797 227784. The Tempest at Smallhythe Place Sunday 24 August 19:00 to 21:00 The Pantaloons put their own unique and hilarious twist on Shakespeare’s romantic tale of shipwrecks, sorcerers and silly servants. Expect lots of music, magic and mayhem – in the open-air. Tickets Adult £15, Child £8. Booking essential on 0844 249 1895. The Weald of Kent Art Group Summer Exhibition at Tenterden Town Hall Monday 25 August to Saturday 30 August 10:00 to 17:00 The Weald of Kent Art Group are staging their Summer Exhibition, with a sale of paintings too, at Tenterden Town Hall, TN30 6AN. Note that it closes at 4pm on Saturday 30 August. The exhibition gives members the opportunity to show and sell their paintings and prints. The Group holds fortnightly meetings which feature demonstrations by well-known artists at Highbury Hall, Tenterden from October to March. If you would like to become a member email Judy Williams at Judy_ williams@gmx.com or Alison Prall at alisonprall@gmail. com for more information. They welcome all levels of skill.
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Drawing Workshop at Great Dixter Monday 25 August 10:00 to 16:00 This is the last in the series of drawing workshops held at Great Dixter during August. These workshops are an opportunity to explore Great Dixter’s garden through the medium of drawing with Rosie MacCurrach. Attendees will view the exhibition in the Great Barn and Oast and look at books about artists who drew and painted gardens; then it’s off into the garden to draw. Numbers are limited to 20 for each workshop – appropriate for all ages and abilities. Cost £15 a ticket. Attendees should take a packed lunch, although tea and a piece of homemade cake will be provided. Treasure Trail at Rye Harbour Nature Reserve (2 miles) Tuesday 26 August 10:00 to 13:00 Follow a map and clues to complete the trail and win a prize. Suitable for all ages. Children must be accompanied by an adult. Drop-in event. Lime Kilm Cottage Information Centre. Charge £2 for each trail sheet. www. sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/whatson, email rhnoffice@ sussexwt.org.uk, telephone 01797 227784. Alice Through the Looking Glass at Sissinghurst Castle Tuesday 26 August 19:00 to 21:00 Quantum Theatre continues Sissinghurst’s celebration of all things Alice with their retelling of this magical tale in this outdoor theatre production. Adult £15, £8 Child. Booking essential on 0844 249 1895.
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The Onion magazine 31
Salads for Men! Here are a couple of proper salads, with taste, with crunch and a bit of muscle. They are to the usual, weak-kneed salad, what a Ferrari is to a Morris Minor.
Man’s Salad Number One It might sound a bit sexist calling them Salads for Men but most men I know aren’t particularly excited by some pretty lettuce, a bit of cucumber and some tomato - these have a bit of a kick. This recipe is a tasty potato salad with a nice bit of warmth in the chorizo. 1. Peel and cook the potatoes in salted boiling water until tender (about 15-20 minutes depending on the size of the potatoes). 2. Put the spinach into a large saucepan with a lid and cook over a medium heat, you don’t need to add any extra water, until the spinach has wilted. Drain well in a colander and force out any water with a slotted spoon. 3. Fry the chorizo until crispy, tear them up or cut into small pieces. 4. Put the potatoes into a bowl, add the spinach, add 4 large spoonfuls of pesto (amount of pesto is down to personal taste – I like it very pesto-y), add a pinch of sea salt and some fresh ground black pepper,
and then scatter the chorizo on the top. You can also scatter some basil leaves on the top of the salad too. I like to serve this salad slightly warm. For the pesto: 1. This is the easiest recipe of all. Take all the pesto ingredients. Put them in a blender and whizz together to create a sumptuous, bright green pesto. The texture is slightly grainy, don’t expect it to be a smooth paste. But it’s all the more delicious for that. 2. This recipe makes more than is needed for the salad but it’s great on pasta so just put it into jars and cover with a slight layer of oil to help keep its lovely bright green-ness.
Ingredients 500kg small waxy new potatoes (La Ratte, Pink Fir Apple, Nicola, Charlotte are good) 200g spinach with the stems taken off and sliced into strips Pesto ingredients: 50g basil leaves 2-3 mint leaves 2 garlic cloves 50g pine nuts 75g finely grated Parmesan cheese (or you can use a robust mature Cheddar) 50ml lemon juice (about half a lemon) 150ml olive oil A touch of salt Serves 3-4
32 The Onion magazine
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FOOD Man’s Salad Number Two This is a salad of strong flavours and textures which you can serve either as an accompaniment to, say, an omelette or to a steak, or in larger portions it can be a meal in itself. I serve it both ways, and, unlike most salads, I can also happily eat this in the depths of Winter. 1. First put all the ingredients of the dressing into a jar and give it a vigorous shake. 2. Cut the tomatoes, peppers, radishes, cold potatoes, onions, olives and gherkins into small chunks. 3. Mix the chilli oil and balsamic vinegar together in the salad bowl and season. You can tune this mixture to suit your preference. I certainly wouldn’t use less chilli oil than stated here, but you could use more and I often do. The chilli oil content depends on who you are preparing it for. Use only good balsamic vinegar; the cheap stuff really is a waste of time and just tastes sharp. Good balsamic is sweeter and thicker and that’s what you want. 4. Now add the chopped ingredients to the chilli oil and balsamic in the bowl and stir around so that everything is well coated. Then leave to one side to marinate while you prepare the rest of the dish. 5. Add the basmati rice to boiling water and keep on the boil. It will take 10 minutes to cook and while this is going on… 6. …slice one good size garlic clove and add the slices along with the lardons
to hot oil in a frying pan, and fry gently. The aim is to have the bacon ready as the rice is ready. 7. Now chop the leaves and sprinkle them over the top of the mixture in the salad bowl. Don’t chop the leaves up too much though. Quarter the hard-boiled egg and put on top of the leaves. 8. The rice should now have been boiling away for about six minutes and the lardons should have been frying gently for about the same time. Add the bread to the lardons in the frying pan to make the croutons. You may need to add a bit more oil at the same time. 9. When the rice is ready the lardons and croutons will be ready too, so tip the drained rice while warm on to the top of the leaves in the bowl and then add the lardons and croutons on top of that. 10. Finally, give the dressing another good shake and pour it all over before thoroughly turning and mixing everything gently together in the bowl. This is best served while the rice, the lardons and the croutons are still warm.
Ingredients 30g of bread cut into 1cm cubes for croutons 100g tomatoes chopped into smallish pieces – 1cm 1 good sized garlic clove sliced 70g of a good waxy salad potato such as La Ratte or Pink Fir Apple peeled, boiled and allowed to cool 100g of chopped sweet peppers (preferably of different colours for effect) 35g of chopped radishes 20g of cocktail gherkins (Opies are best) also chopped 40g of spring onions chopped 8 pitted olives cut in half (I like to mix black and green) 100g smoked bacon lardons I hard-boiled egg 2 teaspoons (or more) of good chilli oil 2 teaspoons of good balsamic vinegar One 70g bag of mixed leaves – I use lambs lettuce on its own or lambs lettuce & ruby chard. 100g basmati rice Dressing ingredients: 2 tablespoons of Hellmann’s Caesar Dressing 2 tablespoons of light olive oil 1 tablespoon of Hellmann’s mayonnaise 1 teaspoon of sugar Serves 4 generously
August 2014
The Onion magazine 33
EAT
The Salehurst Halt
BY NICK FARLEY
There we were, The Editor and me, checking on a few details of this month’s walk (pages 36 and 37) and thus it was that we found ourselves in Salehurst early on a hot sunny evening. We had just walked around the Churchyard and by then the need for a restoring sherbert was quite strong, and there to satisfy that need was a pub, The Salehurst Halt. We approached expecting the worst – ‘expecting the worst’ is my default position when approaching any pub or restaurant that I haven’t visited before – and usually I’m not disappointed; by which I mean that most pubs are grim or at best mediocre and restaurants rarely achieve even that dismal accolade. The Salehurst Halt however did disappoint because it was instantly obvious as we entered that it was a proper pub; a pub where people met and drank and seemed to have a good time with their dogs lying sociably about the place. It was a pub like pubs used to be and still would be if brewers and successive Governments weren’t so stupid. We were not able to stay for long but we resolved to return and try lunch. Three days later we did. In short, that lunch was very good. We sat very comfortably in the garden facing South and looking in the distance at what must be one of the very few hop gardens left in Kent or East Sussex. I was drinking a pint of Harvey’s and The Editor was smelling and tasting the gooseberries and apples and whatever else it is that you are supposed to smell and taste when drinking Sauvignon Blanc, and pretty much all was right with the world as far as we could see. The ability almost instantly to make you forget the ghastly stuff of everyday is a sure sign of a good place. My main course was an omelette ‘Arnold Bennett’, so called because it was first made for Arnold Bennett while he was staying at The Savoy whilst writing a novel, apparently. He should have been writing in Salehurst. ‘His’ omelette is made with smoked haddock and, in this case, cream. It was excellent. Nothing more needs to be said.
The Editorial main course was ‘Thai Beef Salad’ which was delicious and prompted contented cooing from the other side of the table. I tried it too and it was indeed good. We followed with a gooseberry fool and baked cheesecake with strawberry sauce and raspberries. Both hit their separate nails squarely on their respective heads. Coffees to finish as we contemplated the distant hop garden and then all too soon it was time to return to the office. It is such a treat, and such a rare treat, when you discover a new good place to eat and/or drink, and I’m wondering why it has taken us such a long time to find The Salehurst Halt. Glad we have though.
The meal including a pint of beer and a glass of wine and two coffees came to £39. www.salehursthalt.co.uk. Tel: 01580 880620. Closed on Mondays. 34 The Onion magazine
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EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS .. THINGS TO DO
Birds, Bugs and Bats at Rye Harbour Nature Reserve (2 miles) Wednesday 27 August 18:30 – dusk An evening stroll around the nature reserve followed by a closer look at some nocturnal creatures. Meet at Rye Harbour car park. No booking necessary. Donations appreciated. www.sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/whatson, email rhnoffice@ sussexwt.org.uk, telephone 01797 227784. Sole Traders of the Weald Thursday 28 August 09:15 to approx 10:15 This is an informal and friendly networking group for any self-employed or sole traders who would like to meet to get more clients, get some support and have a cup of coffee. Any trade or profession welcome. They meet at Lunch Belles Café, Highbanks Nursery, Cranbrook Road, Gills Green (opposite the Hawkhurst Business Park) on the last Thursday of every month at 9.15am for about an hour. Telephone Ali on 07970 952199 or email soletradersoftheweald@gmail.com. Peter Pan at Scotney Castle Thursday 28 August 18:00 to 20:30 Pick your team and help Peter in his quest to bring the dastardly Captain Hook and his pirate crew to justice. This energetic outdoor theatre adaptation promises to be an enchanting experience full of magic, laughter and excitement. Tickets Adult £13.50, Child £8, Family £40. Booking essential. Telephone 0844 249 1895. ‘The Wipers Times’ at Rolvenden Village Hall Friday 29 August 19:30 The Northiam & District’s Historical and Literary Society’s Summer Event commemorates the 100th anniversary of the outbreak of World War One with the screening of this film based on the remarkable true story of how two soldiers discovered a printing press in bombed-out ruins of Ypres in 1916 and used it to produce a humorous, satirical and subversive trench newspaper much to the delight of their fellow soldiers. Tickets £8, to include a glass of wine or soft drink and canapés served in the interval in Rolvenden Village Hall. For tickets send a cheque payable to Northiam & District Historical & Literary Society with your name and address to: Michael Clark, 4 Wilderness Gardens, Northiam, East Sussex TN31 6GB. Tel 01797 253428. Wild Woodland Holiday Club Friday 29 August 10:00 to 15:00 A whole day of holiday fun at Swallowtail Hill, with a August 2014
campfire, games and woodland crafts. You will need to take a packed lunch. Suitable for ages 6 to 11. Parents/Carers do not accompany children. Meet at Swallowtail Hill Farm, Hobbs Lane, Beckley, Rye TN31 6TT. Booking essential. Charge £20 per child. www.sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/ whatson, email rhnoffice@sussexwt.org.uk, telephone 01797 227784. The Tempest (outdoor theatre) at Scotney Castle Friday 29 August 19:00 to 22:00 Quantum Theatre’s production of Shakespeare’s wonderfully magical play of love and sorcery, airy spirits and drunken sailors. Tickets Adult £13.50, Child £8, Family £40. Booking essential on 0844 249 1895. George’s Marvellous Medicine at Ightham Mote Saturday 30 August 17:30 to 19:00 Illyria’s open-air theatre production of the Roald Dahl classic tale about the medicine George makes for his grandma who comes to stay for the holidays. Tickets Adult £15, Child £9. Booking essential. Telephone 0844 249 1895. Wild Woodland Weekend Club Saturday 30 August 10:00 to 13:00 Forest School activities for children aged 6-11, held in a private woodland in Beckley. The Wild Things get together on the last Saturday of each month and activities may include campfire cooking, woodland crafts, games, den building. Parents/carers do not accompany children. Meet at Swallowtail Hill Farm, Hobbs Lane, Beckley, TN31 6TT. Booking is essential. Cost £10 per child. www. sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/whatson, email rhnoffice@ sussexwt.org.uk, telephone 01797 227784. Beer Festival at Smallhythe Place Saturday 30 August 11:00 to 23:00 Music, beer and cider, plus barbeque and wine tent – something for everyone. £8 in advance or £10 on the day. Booking essential. 0844 249 1895. Smallhythe, Tenterden 01580 762334. Summer Garden Tour and Tea at Bateman’s Saturday 30 August 11:00 to 13:00 Join the Head Gardener for a tour of the Bateman’s garden which was such an inspiration and a sanctuary to Rudyard Kipling. Afterwards enjoy a delicious cream tea. Booking essential on 01435 882302. Bateman’s, Burwash, Etchingham.
The Onion magazine 35
Bodiam Castle and the Rother Valley Explore the staircases and battlements and savour the views from Bodiam Castle (built in 1385 as a coastal defence and a comfortable home) before setting out on this glorious ramble through the fields, orchards and woodland in the peaceful Rother Valley. If time allows take a steam train ride on the Kent & East Sussex Railway and enjoy lovely Wealden views. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve featured this walk for the Summer as Udiam Lane can be wet and muddy in Winter. We have included the GPS Waypoints. The walk Leaving the car park at Bodiam Castle (TQ 783 254), follow the road right and almost immediately turn left between The Castle pub and the green to follow a tarmac lane beside the recreation field. Remain on this lane to the Old Cricket Pavilion, where you cross a stile by a gate to join a hedged track. Keep left at a fork, cross a stile by a gate and walk to the left of a large brick building. At the second building take the arrowed path left across a footbridge. Pass a pond to locate a narrow path through trees to a stile. Turn right in the field, climb a further stile and bear slightly uphill across the field to a stile and the B2244. Cross the road (with care) and the stile opposite, turn left uphill and bear right along the line of oak trees to a stile in the field corner. Strike out across the large field ahead, passing to the right of a copse to locate a stile in the line of trees ahead. Do not cross the stile, instead turn left and walk down the field edge and where it begins to curve left, follow the path right through the trees to cross a footbridge. Bear right through the beech copse to reach a stile and turn left along the field edge to another stile and enter an orchard (TQ 760 245). Follow a path arrowed right to Robertsbridge through the orchard. Follow the arrows right then left and continue through orchards behind Moat Farm, eventually dropping down through trees to a stile by a gate. 36 The Onion magazine
Walk across two fields and then bear left along a field edge path down to a track. Go through the gate opposite and follow the track along the edge of the right-hand field towards Salehurst church (do go inside the church, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s usually open - one of the lovely windows is shown right, Ed.). Keep left along the field edge where the track curves right toward a farmhouse and go through a gate into the churchyard. Exit through the lychgate (see photo below), turn left and then left again by an oak tree - Salehurst Halt pub is on your right (we sat outside and had a drink at this friendly pub, see Eat on p34 Ed.) - and follow the enclosed path (see photo below) that bears right around a house to reach a bridge over the River Rother (TQ 750 239). Continue to a metalled drive and turn left, the drive soon bearing right past the entrance gates to a house that incorporates the remains of Robertsbridge Abbey, a Cistercian abbey founded in 1176, and then follow it sharp left to reach a gate. Pass to the left of the gate and stables to locate a stile by a gate. Keep left beside the fence to a further stile to join a fenced path that leads into a field. Walk along the field edge and maintain direction through the next long and narrow field, parallel with the River Rother, the defined grassy path eventually bearing half-right to a gap in the right-hand corner of the field. Continue with the waymarker along the right-hand field edge to a footbridge (TQ 769 238) and follow the path through a copse to reach the B2244. onionmagazine.co.uk
Cross the road, climb up through Crainham Wood and an orchard, bearing left along its edge to a stile in the corner. Follow the woodland path right, which soon becomes a sunken track (Udiam Lane) leading to a road. Cross it diagonally to join Shoreham Lane, signed to Ewhurst Green (TQ 781 236). In a few paces take the footpath left, take in the wonderful views north across the Rother Valley, and descend through the field to a gate. Continue along the edge of an old orchard and turn right at a crossing of paths, soon to cross a footbridge and walk through woodland to a stile. Cross the field to a further stile and a road junction. Follow the road ahead and take the footpath on your left just before Romney Lodge. Go through a gate and head downhill
through the field to meet a path merging at a stile from the right at the bottom of the hill (TQ 787 247). Cross the stile ahead, follow the field edge to a footbridge by an old corrugated barn and cross the Kent & East Sussex Railway. Turn right and walk around the field edge and then beside the river to a stile by Bodiam Bridge. Turn right back to the car park and the National Trust tearoom.
DISTANCE: 7 miles (11.2km) OS MAPS: Landranger 199 (Eastbourne & Hastings), Explorer 136 (High Weald, Royal Tunbridge Wells) ROUTE TERRAIN: Field and woodland paths STARTING POINT: Car park at Bodiam Castle PARKING: Pay & Display National Trust car park (free to members) This is Walk 14 from the Pathfinder Guides No.67: East Sussex & the South Downs book, published by Crimson Publishing (www.crimsonpublishing.co.uk). OS maps available (Landranger 199, Explorer 136). Map above Š Crown copyright August 2014 Ordnance Survey Media 074/14.
Neither the publisher nor the author can accept any responsibility for any changes, errors or omissions in this route. Diversion orders can be made and permissions withdrawn at any time.
August 2014
The Onion magazine 37
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WIN WIN! ONE OF 4 CASES OF BLUE NUN RIVANER RIESLING Blue Nun Rivaner Riesling, in the classic blue glass fluted bottle, is a fresh, crisp and fruity German wine, which tastes really great matched with aromatic, spicy or oriental foods, so is ideal for al fresco entertaining and barbeques. It has perfect balance, softness and depth of fresh fruit flavours, so is easy to drink and really delivers on taste to share with friends and family. The classic brand is owned by the Langguth family in Germany, who have used their passion, heritage and expertise to create this quality wine made from the Rivaner and Riesling grape varieties. To enjoy at its best, lightly chill before drinking (Alc 10.0 %
Vol). Blue Nun Rivaner Riesling is available in most supermarkets nationwide with a RRP of around £5.99. For more information visit www.bluenun.co.uk or visit http://www. facebook.com/BlueNunUK. For a chance to win one of 4 cases (x 6 75cl bottles) of Blue Nun Rivaner Riesling please send your name and address/email address to competition@onionpublishing.co.uk with Blue Nun in the subject line. Winners will be drawn and notified after the closing date. You must be over 18 years to enter. The closing date is 26 August 2014.
WIN! WE HAVE THREE O’MY TEA! HAMPERS TO GIVE AWAY
WIN! WE HAVE THREE COOL CAMPING BOOKS TO GIVE AWAY
Just launched, the fun and funky loose-leaf tea brand O’My Tea! is bringing a touch of quirkiness and a whole lot of fun to the great British cup of tea. For those looking for a sweet after-dinner treat without tucking into desert, or simply something different, O’My Tea! has a flavour for everyone. Divided into three main collections - Choclateas, Sweeteas and Fruiteas - flavours include Chocolate Orange, Turkish Delight, Kola Kubes, Rhubarb & Custard, Cinnamon Pear, Pineapple Coconut and more! All 12 of the O’My Tea! blends are ethically sourced and blended right here in the UK. Available online at www.omytea.com, each pack retails at £4.75, and customers purchasing multiple packs will receive a free tea strainer worth £2.50. Postage and packaging is free. Join the TEAvolution! For a chance to win an O’My Tea! Hamper please send your name and address/email address to competition@ onionpublishing.co.uk with Tea Hamper in the subject line. Winners will be drawn and notified after the closing date. The closing date is 26 August 2014.
The Cool Camping series is all about the best places to camp, pure and simple. That means countryside campsites with stunning locations, great views, secret woodlands and other special places to enjoy the great outdoors and nights under canvas. From sites hidden in secret Welsh valleys, to the grounds of magnificent chateaux and sun-kissed vineyards of France, the Cool Camping team have personally inspected hundreds of places, to bring you the best. Guides include England, Wales, Scotland, Britain, France, Glamping Getaways, and the Cool Camping Cookbook. You can win a book of your choice from the series. Visit wwww.coolcamping.co.uk for more information. For a chance to win a Cool Camping book of your choice please send your name and address/email address to competition@onionpublishing.co.uk with Cool Camping in the subject line. Winners will be drawn and notified after the closing date. The closing date is 26 August 2014.
Please enter as directed above. Postal entries can also be sent to us at the address given on page three.
TERMS & CONDITIONS OF ENTRY: By entering these competitions you agree to receive periodic emails from The Onion magazine, Onion Publishing Ltd and the originator of the competition you are entering. You can opt out of receiving these at any time and your data will never be passed on for use by third parties. The prizes are non-transferable and have no cash alternative. Only one entry per person per competition and prizes will only be sent to homes with a TN postcode.
WEALDEN BUSINESS GROUP Business networking that is friendly, supportive, sociable – and a great return on investment Do you own or manage a business? Would you like more business referrals? Is the support of like-minded professionals important to you? If the answer to these three questions is ‘Yes’, then why not apply to join The Wealden Business Group. No hard sell, no pressure, but definitely a sound return on investment. In our current financial year, our 34 members are on track to exchange more than 700 business leads. We meet every Wednesday for a networking breakfast at The Little Silver Country Hotel, Tenterden. We’re friendly, supportive and sociable, with a curry club, golf days, regular outings and an annual charity fundraising drive. In the past three years we have raised almost £15,000 for good causes. Join us for an initial free breakfast by contacting secretary Dee Bateman on 07958 612937, email deebateman@hotmail.co.uk. Membership of WBG is limited to one member per profession or trade. Check out our website – www.wealden-business-group.co.uk - and if your trade or profession is not already represented, then we’d love to hear from you.