The onion july 2014 by carolfarley

July 2014

THE artist Alice Instone

Inside:

Bake the perfect genoise

k oo b ry IN ooke per no W y c ham Ki e le s at ou th he bul s to W Fa et Jo ck Ti

WEALDEN BUSINESS GROUP Business networking that is friendly, supportive, sociable – and a great return on investment Do you own or manage a business? Would you like more business referrals? Is the support of like-minded professionals important to you? If the answer to these three questions is ‘Yes’, then why not apply to join The Wealden Business Group. No hard sell, no pressure, but definitely a sound return on investment. In our current financial year, our 34 members are on track to exchange more than 700 business leads. We meet every Wednesday for a networking breakfast at The Little Silver Country Hotel, Tenterden. We’re friendly, supportive and sociable, with a curry club, golf days, regular outings and an annual charity fundraising drive. In the past three years we have raised almost £15,000 for good causes. Join us for an initial free breakfast by contacting secretary Dee Bateman on 07958 612937, email deebateman@hotmail.co.uk. Membership of WBG is limited to one member per profession or trade. Check out our website – www.wealden-business-group.co.uk - and if your trade or profession is not already represented, then we’d love to hear from you.

It seems that everyone I spoke to loved the Lightfoot Alpacas in last month’s issue and so I couldn’t resist featuring them again in a small way this month too: we have teamed up with the very amusing and very clever Woolly Felters to offer you an Alpaca kit as a prize in a caption competition this month. (see page 25).

Advertising and Editorial:

01797 253668 Publication date: 1st of the month Entries for Noticeboard email: noticeboard@onionpublishing.co.uk To send editorial/advertising material email: carol@onionpublishing.co.uk

There are some really interesting people around here and this month I’ve been talking to ‘artist to the powerful and famous’, Alice Instone, who has had several London exhibitions and recently exhibited at Lamb House in Rye. She lives in The Isle of Oxney where I talked to her about her many famous sitters and her plans for the future. All the regular features on gardening, food, books, walks and competitions are here too and of course your local events are in the Noticeboard section. The Noticeboard section is proving to be a big hit as people are beginning to get to know us, but if you are aware of any clubs or societies, or charities that you think we have missed and that you feel should be covered in the Noticeboard section, please let me know. If you know of any fêtes or events that are coming up, then please do get in touch. It costs nothing to promote your event in the Noticeboard columns.

For advertising sales enquiries email: sales@onionpublishing.co.uk

And thank you to the lady who contacted me specifically to say that she had been to three events over the last Bank Holiday weekend directly as a result of seeing them in the Noticeboard columns.

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We thank, too, our anonymous contributor from Staplecross for his wonderful Sounding Off about television which really made me laugh (see page 24).

Twitter: @OnionMag1

Carol Farley Editor

The Onion magazine is published by Onion Publishing Limited The Studio at Friars Cote Farm, Crockers Lane, Northiam, East Sussex TN31 6PY. Editor & Publisher: Carol Farley Director & Publisher: Nicholas Farley Contributors: Anon, Jessica Harding, Jack Hebden. Print: Polestar Stones Cover: Alice Instone in front of her painting ‘Pope Joan’ Designed and produced for Onion Publishing Limited by Vantage Publishing Limited, Godalming, GU7 2AE.

July 2014

The Onion’s May giveaway/competition winners Sarah & Duck cBeebies DVDs were sent to: Daniel Millea, Etchingham Esme Bodle, Tenterden Jenny Prus, Burwash Brighton Bakes cookery books to: Amanda Lewis, St Michaels Carol Moore, Etchingham Celia Martinez, Cranbrook Tickets for Comedy Café at the Trinity Theatre were won by: Mrs Juliet Rouse We were absolutely delighted with the response. Congratulations to the winners and thank you so much for entering. Please see page 39 in this issue for your chance to win a Jo Wheatley cookery book, a Thomas J Fudge’s food hamper and tickets to the Kino Cinema in Hawkhurst. The Onion Magazine

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Contents What’s on in your local community

8 Bees And how to recognise them

11 Set in Stone!

Polesden Lacey

Renowned artist Alice Instone

The house with its rich collection of art and stories provides a fascinating insight into the Edwardian era.

18 A Good Book

House open daily

uncovering the stories

6 Noticeboard

PLUS a new display in the private apartments of former owner Mrs Greville, reveals more about this intriguing society hostess...

01372 452048 nationaltrust.org.uk/polesdenlacey

Beth Wilson

Professional singer available for weddings, private and corporate events

23 Farmers’ Markets 24 Sounding Off 25 Caption Competition 28 Raspberry Genoise Layer Cake Jo Wheatley’s delicious recipe 31 Good Gadgets

32 Gardening 34 Eat Fusciardi’s, Eastbourne

36 Walk

Burwash and Bateman’s

38 Business Cards Small ads for trades and services

39 Win Enter our giveaway competitions

Please call on 07940 736577 www.Bethwilsonmusic.co.uk 4

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The contents of this magazine are protected by copyright and nothing can be reprinted without prior permission of the publisher. The publisher has tried to ensure that all information is accurate but does not take any responsibility for any mistakes or omissions. We take no responsibility for advertisements printed in the magazine or loose inserts that might be delivered alongside it. © Onion Publishing Limited.

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Noticeboard... EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS … THINGS TO DO

Your community Noticeboard is for local events and information. To feature here please email us at Noticeboard@onionpublishing.co.uk. All Things Herbal at Bodiam Castle Throughout July 10:30 to 16:00 Explore plant and tree lore at Bodiam Castle. Discover the plant life hidden around the grounds and learn about their medieval uses. Separate charges apply. Visit www.nationaltrust.org.uk/bodiamcastle or telephone 01580 831320. Business Networking Day for Ladies Who Breakfast Wednesday 2 July 07:00 (yes, 7 in the morning) Women in business in the Weald have a great opportunity to promote their companies and services at the annual Wealden Business Group (WBG) Ladies’ Day. The event – which is free of charge and includes breakfast – will be held at The Little Silver Country Hotel, Tenterden. It starts at 7am, with breakfast at 7.15am, with networking afterwards over coffee. Ladies owning or managing a business not already represented by a WGB member (the Group has a noncompete policy) can book their place by emailing Sue Kimber info@pastelshadesbridalwear.com, telephone 01233 758787. Check for trades and professions already represented on www.wealden-businessgroup.co.uk and click on ‘Members’.

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Cinema under the stars – Gravity at Scotney Castle Wednesday 2 July 21:15 to 23:00 Take a picnic or stock up from the café whilst watching open air cinema against the backdrop of Scotney Castle. Starring George Clooney and Sandra Bullock, Gravity is a film that benefits from fresh air and a giant screen. Tickets £13.50 Adult, £9 Child. Booking essential on 01892 893860. Tenterden Lions Club Wednesday 2 July 19:00 They meet the first Wednesday of the month at the White Lion in Tenterden, and are always happy to welcome new members. Contact 0845 833 9842. Open Mic Night at The Woolpack, Tenterden Wednesday 2 July 20:00 Get along to sing, sit down or stand-up – it happens the first Wednesday of the month. Tenterden Rotary Club Thursday 3 July 19:00 Tenterden Rotary Club meets every Thursday evening at The Tenterden Club, Church Road, Tenterden. New members are always welcome. Contact Club Secretary, Chris Northen, 01233 851020, email chris@northen. net. www.tenterdenrotary.org.uk. Hop Farm Music Festival 2014 Friday 4 July to Sunday 6 July Grace Jones, Ray Davies, Brian Wilson, Deacon Blue,

YOUR COMMUNITY NOTICE BOARD is for local events and information. to feature here, please email US at noticeboard@onionpublishing.co.uk

Delivered by the Royal Mail to 22,873 local homes every month in Appledore, Benenden, Brede, Brightling, Broad Oak, Burwash, Camber, Cranbrook, Cripps Corner, Etchingham, Hawkhurst, Hurst Green, Icklesham, John’s Cross, Northiam, Peasmarsh, Robertsbridge, Rye, Salehurst, Sandhurst, Staplecross, Tenterden, Udimore, Winchelsea, Wittersham and surrounding villages. 6

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Trisha Robinson FCIPD & Qualified Executive Coach Managing Director -‐ Y’s Words Ltd Talk to Trisha about coaching and mentoring, mediation and consultancy, or simply to be your sparring partner – You and your business will notice the difference.

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Contact Trisha for coaching, mentoring, leadership mediation and consultancy. Mobile : +447802690907 Email : trisha.robinson50@btinternet.com

Linkedin – Please connect and mention this event in your invitation Trisha Robinson via LinkedIn

“ I value Trisha for her insightful, intuitive, values driven leadership, coaching & consultancy. She is a master of emotional engineering and Wise (Y’s) Words – Especially in times of challenge & opportunity” – Ric Piper, Senior Independent Director, Matchtech Group plc

Bees By Jack Hebden

In the last few weeks the garden has been alive with bumblebees; busy bees, buzzing bees, there are bees everywhere. To my consternation I discovered that I had obviously got a bumblebee nest under some decking and another nest in the front door porch roof. In both places there are frantic comings and goings all the time. As it turns out I needn’t have worried and I find sitting outside watching the action is fascinating and entertaining; it’s like a non-stop miniature Heathrow. Those taking off quickly climb away to a good height, at least house roof height, and then they seem to get their bearings and head off to their chosen pollen source. I thought that their flight paths would be random but no, there seem to be two distinct vectors and they are quite different. Some go one way and some the other but they don’t just fly around aimlessly in any old direction.

following pictures you will, I hope, be able to identify the bees in your garden. They are so busy gathering pollen that they won’t trouble you at this time of year, but they may become a bit more of a bother in late Summer when they have less work to do and are looking for mischief. Our flower and fruit gardens are becoming increasingly important to wild bees as the necessarily commercial management of farmland makes that less and less attractive to them, so take the time to look at the bees in your garden. They are really worth it.

The hive under the decking has prompted my interest because I can sit there watching almost on top of them and yet be quite untroubled by them as they zoom about their business. They are ignoring me completely ... at the moment. I think that ‘my‘ decking bumblebees are Buff-tailed Bumblebees which are apparently quite common, but I hadn’t realised until recently just how many different bumblebees there are and some are quite rare and threatened. There are 250 different species worldwide but there are six or so that we are likely to see here in the South East. If you look at the 8

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Top: One of ‘my’ bees disappearing below deck Above: Buff-tailed Bumblebee on potentilla onionmagazine.co.uk

Bumblebees of the South East â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 6 Common Species Buff-tailed bumblebee, Bombus terrestris Queens are very large and common in early Spring. Workers have a largely white tail, but usually with a hint of buff at the front margin. Yellow bands are slightly darker/dirtier than in the whitetailed bumblebee. Early bumblebee, Bombus pratorum A small bee, often nesting in tit-boxes. The yellow band on the abdomen is sometimes missing in females. Colonies are very short-lived producing males as early as April. Rarely seen from July onwards. Common carder bee, Bombus pascuorum Abundant everywhere, the only common all-brown bumblebee. Can generally be distinguished from the much rarer brownbanded carder by the presence of some black hairs on the sides of the abdomen. White-tailed bumblebee, Bombus lucorum A common bee, often nesting under garden sheds. Distinguished from the similar Buff-tailed bumblebee by pure-white tails and lemon yellow bands.

Red-tailed bumblebee, Bombus lapidarius Very common on chalk downland, frequently found in gardens. Distinguish from the much rarer Red-shanked carder bee by black hairs of pollen basket on hind legs.

Garden bumblebee, Bombus hortorum A very long-tongued species preferring deep flowers (such as foxgloves, delphiniums, honeysuckle). Distinguished from the generally smaller Heath bumblebee by much longer face when viewed from the front.

For more information do visit the Bumblebee Conservation Trust website www.bumblebeeconservation.org. Membership of the Trust costs ÂŁ20 for adults.

July 2014

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EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS ... THINGS TO DO

James Blunt, Caro Emerald, Squeeze are just some of the incredible acts over the weekend Festival this year at the Hop Farm Paddock Wood. There is also a Comedy Big Top headed by Rich Hall and Jo Brand, a Kidz Zone, a Silent Disco, a Jazz & Blues Lounge, as well as themed bars and plenty of food stalls. For ticket information visit www.thehopfarmmusicfestival.com or contact 020 7604 2944. Tentertainment Friday 4 July to Sunday 6 July Free entertainment over three days at Tenterden Recreation Ground. www.tentertainment.co.uk. It’s run by volunteers and relies totally on donations. Cinema under the stars – Grease at Sissinghurst Castle Friday 4 July 19:45 to 23:00 Classic cinema in a beautiful setting under the stars. Tickets £13.50 Adult, £9 Child. Booking essential on 0844 858 6767. An introduction to Rye Harbour Nature Reserve (3 miles) Saturday 5 July 10:00 to 12:00 In this final walk of the series you will head off to the most westerly part of the nature reserve, with

OSTEOPATHY A lifestyle choice

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a walk starting and ending at Winchelsea Beach. Meet at public lavatories on Dogs Hill Road. No booking necessary. Donations appreciated. www. sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/whatson, email rhnoffice@ sussexwt.org.uk, telephone 01797 227784. A Social History of Woodchurch Saturday 5 July 10:00 to 16:00 An exhibition of Family and Local History is being staged by the Woodchurch Ancestry Group at the Memorial Hall, TN26 3PA. If you are keen to investigate your family history there will be experts on hand to help with your research – even if your ancestors lived many miles away. Folkestone, Dymchurch and New Romney Family History Societies will also be attending. Refreshments and light lunches available. Adults £2.50, Children Free. For further details contact Josie on 01233 860363. Salehurst School Association – Summer Fete Saturday 5 July 12:00 to 15:00 Lots of fun stalls including Beat the Goalie and Stairway to Heaven, as well as stalls selling plants, cakes and refreshments. Tombola, Wish Tree, raffle, prizes, hampers, bar, barbeque, entertainment from the East Sussex School of Performing Arts and the Sussex

Bill Ferguson Osteopath Headaches are more common than Back Pain

01580 762754 Tenterden

www.billferguson.co.uk 10 The Onion magazine

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SET IN STONE? Carol Farley talks to renowned English artist Alice Instone If you are lucky enough to have an original Alice Instone hanging on your wall make sure you keep it. Alice is quite a prolific painter, but a lot of her art doesn’t find its way out of her studio and most that does is in private or public collections, and despite her young age she has already had solo exhibitions at the House of Commons, the Royal Society of Arts, Chanel Head Office, The House of St Barnabas in Soho, and, most recently, at Lamb House in Rye. I met up with her at home in the Isle of Oxney, where we talked surrounded by the images of various powerful and famous women for which she has become so well known, including the startlingly beautiful paintings from her ‘She Should Have Known Better’ exhibition which was held at Lamb House in Rye recently. Alice has had some of the most influential, successful and well-known women in Britain sitting for her as models for her various exhibitions, women with whom she has ultimately formed a particular bond and a connection, but I wanted to know how on earth she had managed to get these women to sit in the first place. Well, apparently she just asked them. Some though, not surprisingly, did say no. Alice is now a much-lauded and successful artist but how did she become more than an amateur painter? She always loved art and school and she went on to study the history of art at the Courtauld Institute, but then like virtually everyone else she went to work; July 2014

“I took a job as a secondary school English teacher and I have also spent lots of time answering telephones as a receptionist” she said. When did she first think that she might seriously become an artist? She said that one day she simply decided to do exactly that. Her job then didn’t have anything to do with painting, and although she was working in a London advertising agency at the time, it wasn’t even in the art department. She had just been talking to a friend one lunchtime and had been asked “what would you do if you could anything?” and she said “I’d be an artist” and then having said it out loud, she sat down and thought a bit longer and decided that actually it would be a great idea. So she asked her husband for oil paints as a Christmas present and immediately started painting from her spare room in London. She says “the room was the size of a cupboard, but I crammed everything in – including my family and my friends – anyone who would sit for me basically. It’s all to do with ‘looking’ rather than painting. I learned to ‘look’ at paintings and people, and then the more I practiced the better I got”. The Onion magazine 11

Alice Instone miniature of Annie Lennox as Elizabeth I

The event which really brought her to the attention of the art world was her ‘21st Century Women’ Exhibition in which there were paintings of twenty-one powerful, famous and influential women including Cherie Blair, Dame Jacqueline Wilson, Fiona Bruce, Baroness Helena Kennedy, Shami Chakrabarti and Annie Lennox, (who, incidentally, wrote an accompanying article on being a feminist) and some of these women, like Annie Lennox have featured in all of Alice’s subsequent shows and have become real friends and supporters.

I wondered why most of the women from her exhibitions, including the ‘Because the Fire was in my Head’ exhibition, which was inspired by Yeats’s poem about the female muse, were depicted naked and whether these famous women had any difficulty with that. Alice said that most of the women who have sat for her were incredibly liberated and were entirely at ease sitting.

Having completed the ‘21st Century Women’ show she wanted a change from portraiture so “I thought I’d do shoes (of famous people) as a laugh, as a relief from painting portraits”. She even managed to do the slippers of The Pope, and to her great surprise this show was a big success. “I was so surprised that they (the shoe paintings and sculptures) were such a hit with people, but I wasn’t entirely happy with my work and I later destroyed a lot of it before it got anywhere”. However, I was very pleased to see that one of the pieces of shoe sculpture which Alice had particularly liked does survive from that show; it is a huge red papier maché stiletto which now sits on a windowsill in Alice’s home in one of the upstairs hallways.

I wondered too what had influenced her work and by way of explanation she showed me a moving Francesca Woodman photograph. “Francesca Woodman was an amazing photographer who committed suicide when she was only 22, and I think it’s extraordinary that she created these amazing images at such a young age.

12 The Onion magazine

“Another great influence were these books which belonged to my grandmother. I would obsessively read them and you can see the onionmagazine.co.uk

influence of them in my work now – books on myths and legends. She had a collection of them, from the 1930s, each with fabulous illustrations in.” Evidence of Alice’s talent and creativity are, as you’d expect, everywhere in her house. As we walk from room to room every wall is painted with incredible colour and enormous statement paintings, with shimmering golds and metallic paint covering large areas of wall space. The house is full of colour and shapes: we come to some dazzling objects on a mantelpiece which are simply old sauce bottles and jam jars which have been thrown away as rubbish and then been salvaged and encased in brilliant beads by ladies in Zimbabwe. Each has the name of the maker written on a tiny scrap of paper inside. They are brought over by a friend of Alice’s who sells them to people in Britain and then gives the money back to the women who made them in Zimbabwe. And all the while we are talking Alice’s cat, Aunt Agatha, weaves her way around our legs. She has one of the loudest purrs I have heard. “Aggie is definitely one of my favourite things in the house, as well as this little thing that daughter made when she was five. I am so proud of her, she even won a prize with this completely unbeknownst to me at the time, I didn’t even know she’d entered.” Alice was too shy to acknowledge her daughter’s obvious creative bent but did admit that she was very definitely her mother’s daughter in that they both “loathe and detest playing tennis.” She said “I didn’t say anything to her at all about my dislike of it (tennis) – it just surfaced in her at school one day.” So what of Alice’s current work? She’s enjoying painting her children at the moment as they are a constantly moving subject so it means she has to paint quickly making the finished results “more immediate and intimate”.

Top left: One of the books belonging to Alice’s Grandmother Top right: Alice’s daughter’s prize winning creation Middle: The bead-work covered bottles from Zimbabwe Bottom: Aunt Agatha July 2014

And for the future? “I only want to channel my energy into something I really believe in. Big pieces. I am tinkering with the idea of doing something on Bluebeard’s wives”. Alice’s exhibitions are usually held somewhere that has a connection with the story in some way, so should anyone have a spare castle available with a secret room, perhaps they’d get in touch. The Onion magazine 13

EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS ... THINGS TO DO

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Coastal Twirlers – phew! And it’s free entry. All at the Salehurst Primary School, George Hill, Robertsbridge, TN32 5BU. Beckley School Summer Fete Saturday 5 July 12:00 to 15:00 Traditional fete with pony rides, barbeque, cakes, traditional stalls and games. The fete marks the outbreak of WW1. Displays will include maypole dancing, Lindy Hop dancing and a parade – the best made costume will win a prize. There’s also a grand raffle with days out prizes, plants and books for sale. All welcome at Beckley School Field. Adults 50p and Children free. Comedy of Errors theatre production at Smallhythe Place Saturday 5 July 19:00 to 21:00 East 15 acting school present Shakespeare’s classic, Comedy of Errors, performed by second year BA acting students in celebration of 450 years since the birth of William Shakespeare. Tickets £8 Adult, £4 Child. Booking essential on 0844 2491895. Robbie Williams Tribute Act in Tenterden Saturday 5 July 19:30 Robbie Williams Tribute Act, including dinner, in aid

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of the St Michaels Village Community Group at the London Beach Hotel. Tickets from Sandra Sutters on 07798 677777. The cost of the food for the dinner will be donated by the London Beach Hotel’s Savannah Charitable Trust. The Heath String Quartet at the Etchingham Music Festival Saturday 5 July 19:30 The Heath String Quartet (named as Young Artists of 2012 by the London Philharmonic Society) will perform Haydn Op.64/66, Bartok Quartet no.6 and Beethoven’s Op.132. Tickets £16 and £14 concessions. Etchingham Church. www.etchinghammusicfestival.co.uk, telephone 01580 819384. BingBing Li with the Rubis Piano Trio at the Etchingham Music Festival Sunday 6 July 19:00 Pianist BingBing Li and her piano trio will play Schumann’s piano trio no.2, Shchredin’s 3 Funny Pieces, Shostakovich piano trio no.2 and BingBing will also play a solo piano piece. Tickets £16 and £14 concessions. Etchingham Church. www. etchinghammusicfestival.co.uk, telephone 01580 819384.

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The BBC antiques programme ‘Flog It!’ presented by Paul Martin is coming to Kent on Thursday 17th July. Chiddingtone Castle nr Edenbridge will be hosting the Flog It! valuation day. Members of the public are invited to bring along up to three antiques and collectables they might be interested in selling. Once valued, the owner and a team of experts decide whether an object should go forward for auction. Everyone who goes along to the Valuation Day will receive a free valuation – even if their antiques are not chosen to go forward for auction. Flog It! will be at Chiddingstone Castle, Hill Hoath Road, Chiddingstone, Edenbridge, Kent TN8 7AD on Thursday 17th July between 09:30 and 16:00. The items selected at the valuation day will go under the hammer on Wednesday 13th August at Ewbanks Auctioneers, Burnt Common Auction Rooms, London Road, Send, Woking, Surrey, GU23 7LN. July 2014

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EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS ... THINGS TO DO

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Pirates of Penzance at Ightham Mote Saturday 5 July 19:00 to 21:00 Take a picnic and enjoy this Gilbert & Sullivan comic classic performed on the open-air stage. Watch the story of the young pirate who has to serve until his 21st birthday – the trouble is he was born on 29th February. Tickets £15 Adult, £9 Child. Booking essential on 0844 249 1895. Wild Woodies – Children’s Summer Holiday Clubs Sussex Wildlife Trust is running a fun-packed outdoor activity programme for children throughout the Summer holidays. There’s something for everyone including: bug hunting, pond-dipping, shelter building, crafts, camouflage games and toasting marshmallows over the camp fire. There are clubs at Seven Sisters Country Park near Seaford and Rye Harbour Nature Reserve. Children do not need to be accompanied by an adult as the clubs are fully supervised. Booking is essential, for further information on timing, ages and prices please visit www.sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/ events or call 01273 497561. Business Networking International (BNI) meeting Tuesday 8 July 06:30 to 08:30 The Tenterden chapter of the BNI meet for breakfast

ORTHOTICS for painful feet: running tennis aerobics squash walking hiking athletics golf workwear

Custom orthotics Premium over the counter orthotics Standard insoles

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at the White Lion Hotel in Tenterden every Tuesday morning from 6.30am. New members are always welcome to go along. Botanical vegetable painting at Monk’s House Wednesday 9 July 10:00 to 16:00 Join renowned botanical painter Vicky Mappin and paint the allotment vegetables at Monk’s House, Rodmell, Lewes. £75. Booking essential. 0844 249 1895. Brede WI Wednesday 9 July 14:00 The Brede WI meets on the second Wednesday of each month at Brede Village Hall. There is a programme of interesting speakers and events throughout the year and they are always delighted to welcome guests and potential members. They urge people to go along and try them out. For further information contact Beryl Jenkins on 01424 883475. ‘Whistler and the River Thames’ by Freda Parker Wednesday 9 July 14:30 A talk organised by the Winchelsea Second Wednesday Society at the New Hall, Winchelsea. For details contact Richard Feast, telephone 01797 222629.

Sue Ferguson Podiatrist

Orthotics

01580 765546 Tenterden

www.sueferguson.co.uk 16 The Onion Magazine

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A GOOD Book

In this column we feature books that we, and our reviewers, like. They may not necessarily be new books, but they’ll be fiction and non-fiction books that we have enjoyed. We’ll always include at least one children’s book in the selection each time. We’d love to hear your thoughts on anything you feel we should be reading and sharing with others.

A Time for Heroes by Frank Barnard Published by Headline ISBN: 978 0 7553 3895 5 Price: £7.99. Paperback. Fiction

The hero of this book, if hero he be, is the unlikely named Fraser ‘Guv’ Sutro; an unpleasant, boorish rake of a man who is nonetheless a pioneer aviator and a brave flyer. Guv is just eight years old in 1896 when the idea of flying possesses him, and well before the First World War he has already built and flown his own machine. As a fearless and often reckless pilot he goes on to fly to fame, and also to some notoriety, in that war. He survives it and marries an Oxford Street department store heiress for her money which he uses to further his flying adventures in the twenties, a time when all flying was still laced with considerable danger. An unprincipled user of people and a bully, there’s not much Guv won’t do to get his own way, and to achieve his flying ambitions. In pursuit of those aims he subjects each of those close to him – his 18 The Onion Magazine

wife, his daughter, his son and his early flying companion and loyal helper, Stan Kemp – to an awful existence. The only person for whom he does seem to have some feeling is Stan’s son, Will Kemp. He sees something of himself in the boy who does indeed go on to fly Spitfires in The Second World War, a war in which Guv himself desperately wants to take part to give his squandered life meaning again. If sometimes you see in Guv a hint of Flashman you’d be right I think. If you enjoyed the Flashman books, as I did, you’ll like this too. It’s well researched and the flying references are accurate, while author Frank Barnard handles his leading man so well that although half of me knew that I shouldn’t want this awful man Sutro to succeed the other half of me was rather hoping he would. It’s a very good story very well told, and it is also that rarity a well written book. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It’s not a reason for recommending it here but its setting is local with much of the early action centred on Alfriston and then later the story is played out around Rye, and I can’t deny that I find it a satisfying bonus when I am familiar with the terrain that is being described in a book. Reviewed by Nick Farley

Wild Swimming: Hidden Beaches By Daniel Start Published by Wild Things Publishing in 2014 ISBN: 9780957157378 Price: £16.99. Paperback. Non-fiction

Wild Swimming is really just swimming outdoors in places that aren’t swimming pools or lidos, and so if it’s not a river, or a waterfall, I guess the sea is pretty much the wildest that ‘wild swimming’ is going to get. The book’s subtitle is ‘Explore the secret coast of Britain’ and Daniel certainly takes us to some fabulouslooking coves, bays and coastlines in this book. The photography is absolutely stunning and it made me want to visit all of them – even the Outer Hebrides looked calm and serene. This is the second edition of this guide which was first published in 2008 as ‘Wild Swimming: Coast’ and has had 50 new locations added which takes it to over 400 places to visit (including 16 in Kent and East Sussex). Just one of the onionmagazine.co.uk

many great things about this book is the section at the front which gives listings for ‘Best for …’ Best for such things as: Beach camping, sunset views, food, secret islands (who can resist a secret island), even skinny-dipping. I’ve made it sound slightly as if it’s primarily a sumptuous coffee-table book, but it’s more than simply an inspirational book - the descriptions to find the places mentioned are clear, detailed and give precise latitude and longitude co-ordinates too. Apparently it’s also available as an App for iOS and Android phones (useful if you turn your phone into a GPS machine). Daniel is an award-winning travel writer, environmental consultant and photographer – and it shows. This really is a glorious celebration of our coastal places and Daniel gives you the reason to visit and enjoy them. Reviewed by Jessica Harding.

Going to Sea in a Sieve

Danny Baker’s autobiography, Volume one Published by Phoenix Paperbacks ISBN 978-0-7538-2893-9 RRP £7.99 Paperback. Non-fiction.

Danny Baker is one of the best, and, I suggest, one of the most underrated radio broadcasters of the last thirty years, although I suppose I should add to that sweeping statement the qualifier - in my opinion. July 2014

Going to Sea in a Sieve is the first volume of his autobiography and it is everything that a Baker fan could expect or want. It is funny, of course, but, more important, it is always cheerful and upbeat. It’s one of those books that just make you feel good. Danny Baker was born in Rotherhithe, South East London, in 1957 and his tales of a childhood spent on the bombsites, which were still a familiar sight in London then, would horrify today’s ‘Health and Safety’ wallahs. His perfectly normal life, like that of many families of that time and in that area, was lived on the cusp of the legal and illegal, indeed sometimes perhaps rather too close to the frighteningly illegal. But it was obviously also a happy life and it provided him with plenty of colourful material for this hugely entertaining book. But what makes this such a special book is not the stories, good as they are, nor the background material, rich as it is; it is Baker’s ability to write you into his narrative. I found that I wasn’t reading about him, rather I seemed to be there with him. I didn’t ever live in London, although I knew it at that time, and I didn’t ever operate in the ‘pop’ milieu of his early working life, yet I felt as if I was actually with him all of the way. I wasn’t reading about it, I was experiencing it. That’s a rare talent.

Get Out! Nature Puzzles & Games By Caz Buckingham & Andrea Pinnington Published by Fine Feather Press in 2013 ISBN: 9781908489081 Price: £6.99. Paperback. Non-fiction

Pencils at the ready! This book is absolutely bursting with things for children to do. Split in to the four seasons, this nature book (animals, insects and plants) has 44 pages of mazes, memory games, matching, colouring in pages, join the dots, riddles and word games. Some of the images used are quite refreshingly grown-up such as barbel and dunnock, rather than ‘fish’ and ‘bird’ and the illustrations are a delightful combination of photographs and drawings. It also comes with a lovely wallchart/ poster so that sightings can be satisfyingly ticked off as seen.

Clever bloke, Danny Baker. Good book. I’m looking forward to volume two.

I’m not quite sure what age range it’s aimed at, certainly not for tiny children, but definitely something that 5 and upwards children will enjoy during hols and days out.

Reviewed by Nick Farley

Reviewed by Jessica Harding The Onion Magazine 19

EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS ... THINGS TO DO

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Cinema under the stars – The Great Gatsby at Scotney Castle Wednesday 9 July 21:15 to 23:00 Grab something to eat from the café or take a picnic to watch Leonardo diCaprio in Baz Luhrmann’s lavish production of The Great Gatsby. Tickets £13.50 Adult, £9 Child. Nature Tots move to the seaside – taster session Wednesday 9 July 10:00 to 12noon Sussex Wildlife Trust is taking its weekly parent and child sessions called Nature Tots, to the seaside, with a new group starting at Pett Level beach in Rye Bay. Suitable for children aged 3 to 5 (all children must be accompanied by an adult). The Tots will explore the beach with games and hands-on outdoor activities such as rock-pooling, making kites and beach sculptures. At £5 per child this is the taster session for the five-week course starting on Thursday mornings from 11 September to 9 October. On-line booking is essential. For costs and further information visit www. sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/naturetots or call Lucy on 01797 227784. ‘40 Years as a Fighter Pilot’ by Patrick Coulcher, for the Tenterden and District National Trust Association

Hallwood Farm Oast B & B

Traditional oast house conversion with top quality accommodation set in 200 acres of lovely countryside on a working fruit farm near Cranbrook. A perfect base from which to explore the Weald of Kent

Mrs Sarah Wickham www.hallwoodfarm.co.uk 01580 712416

Great B&B in the heart of the French Pyrenees

Thursday 10 July 19:30 The talk will take place at Tenterden Junior School, Recreation Ground Road, Tenterden. Visitors welcome. For further information telephone 01580 764791. Piano Recital by Peter Katin as part of the Etchingham Music Festival Thursday 10 July 19:00 Dr Peter Katin returns to the Festival and will play the following programme: Mozart sonata in F, Beethoven’s Pathetique, Debussy’s Estampes and Chopin’s Polonaise – Fantaisie. Tickets £16 and £14 concessions. Etchingham Church. www.etchinghammusicfestival. co.uk, telephone 01580 819384. Kent County Show Friday 11, Saturday 12 and Sunday 13 July At the Kent Showground, postcode ME14 3JF. For more information go to www.kentshowground.co.uk. Ticket hotline is 01622 633060. Wallace & Gromit come to the Kent & East Sussex Railway Saturday 12 and Sunday 13 July from 10:00 each day Appearing alongside Wallace & Gromit will be a vintage Penny ad_Layout 1 14/08/2012 16:23 Page 1 The motorcycle and sidecar and a cheesemaker from Cheese Makers of Canterbury. A ticket will include

HOLIDAY HOME SOUTH OF FRANCE Comfortable village gite to let, sleeps 8, in picturesque Languedoc ‘Cathar Country’. Near castles, dramatic gorges, Carcassonne and Canal du Midi. Visit the website www.bugarachgite.co.uk Tel 01252 712233 or email penny.kitchen@btopenworld.com

We survived and Cornwall is open for business!

DOES A SECLUDED LOG CABIN OVERLOOKING THE SEA APPEAL TO YOU? YES! THEN COME TO CORNWALL Self catering – Sleeps 4

20mins from Lourdes and an ideal base for walking, cycling and exploring this beautiful region. Friendly, helpful hosts and delicious evening meals. Tel: 00 33 5 62 91 21 98 www.allezpyrenees.com 20 The Onion Magazine

Tel: 01872 501187

No answer? Leave us your number and we’re always happy to ring you back. Sorry, no pets & smoking onionmagazine.co.uk

EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS ... THINGS TO DO

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regular appearances throughout the day by Wallace & Gromit and the chance to take photographs. An added attraction at the weekend will be the chance to see the ‘Supercar’ which is a combined bus, tube car and train. K&ER will also running eight steam trains daily throughout the weekend. Tickets including a train journey will cost £16 Adult and £11 Child. A Family Ticket is £45. To book tickets contact the booking office on 01580 765155 weekdays between 9am and 5pm, weekends between 9am and 2pm or visit www.kesr. org.uk.

Saturday 12 July 19:30 This supper concert programme explores time from dusk to dawn, from youth to old age in a wide mix of songs and operatic arias from the wellknown to a few hidden gems by Mozart, Schubert and others. Accomplished pianist Libby Burgess will be accompanied by outstanding singers, including baritone Marcus Farnsworth. Tickets £20 including supper. Etchingham Church. www. etchinghammusicfestival.co.uk, telephone 01580 819384.

Craft Market at Highbury Hall, Tenterden Saturday 12 July 10:00 to 16:00 A wide variety of crafts and produce from local artists, craftsmen, producers and retailers. All the stallholders are from Kent & East Sussex and offer something for everyone. Free admission. Tea and coffee, sandwiches and homemade cake and other treats are available all day. All profits from organising this event go to Tenterden Youth Club for the Youth Café project. Kellys Keepsake Cards also donate 10% of all their sales to the Air Ambulance. For more details contact 079956 295076.

Rye Harbour’s Special Flowers (2 miles) Sunday 13 July 10:30 to 12:30 Take a closer look at the nature reserve’s plants, finding rarities like Marsh Helleborine, Least Lettuce, Stinking Hawksbeard and Sea Heath, but also looking at the special flowers of the shingle. Meet at Rye Harbour car park. No booking necessary. Donations appreciated. www.sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/whatson, email rhnoffice@sussexwt.org.uk, telephone 01797 227784.

Moments in Time captured in Opera and Song at Etchingham

Join us!

Opera Garden Party as part of the St Leonards Festival Sunday 13 July 12noon to 17:00 St Leonards Festival presents a relaxed afternoon of opera classics, much-loved songs, picnics, posh frocks,

www.tenterdentown.co.uk/joinchamber

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The Onion Magazine 21

CAMEL RACE DAY 7th September 2014 Hole Park, Rolvenden, Kent TN17 4JA

The Fun Starts at 2.00pm Camel Racing Camel Rides Pig Racing Mongolian Wrestling Mongolian Musicians Sideshows and Stalls • Teas, Burgers and Beer Organised by the Wild Camel Protection Foundation (Charity registration number: 1068706) to raise funds to protect the wild double-humped camel, the 8th most endangered large mammal in the world. The WCPF is the ONLY charity in the world with a specific mission to save and protect this remarkable creature from extinction. For more information see: <www.wildcamels.com> By kind permission of Mr and Mrs Edward Barham, Hole Park, Rolvenden, Kent <www.holepark.com> Camels from Joe and Rebecca Fossett’s “Joseph’s Amazing Camels” <www.jacamels.co.uk> Supported by the Ashford Valley and Tickham Hunt <www.ashfordvalleyhunt.co.uk>

For stall space and information please contact: John Hare - harecamel@aol.com

Entry: £10.00 per car – linked to a raffle ticket.

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THINGS TO DO...

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seaside entertainment, crafts, storytelling, delicious food and cool drinks from the bar. Barefoot Opera, Opera South East and New Sussex Opera perform classic arias, songs and duets including highlights from Carmen as well as Mozart, Puccini, Verdi and Bizet. Osadia Hair Arts are flying in from Barcelona to create opera-inspired sculptures on audiences’ heads. So pack a picnic and head for Hastings. Tickets £12, under 16s Free from www.stleonardsfestival.org and from the Tourist Information Centre on Hastings seafront. The event will take place in Warrior Square Gardens, Hastings. Singing for Fun – A Summer Melody - as part of the Etchingham Music Festival Sunday 13 July 16:00 Crowborough Choral Group ‘Singing for Fun’ will present a variety of contrasting songs from madrigals to Les Miserables led by Musical Director Mark Beesley. All tickets are free but there will be a collection for the Church Fabric Fund. Etchingham Church. www. etchinghammusicfestival.co.uk, telephone 01580 819384. Family Day at the Big Cat Sanctuary, Smarden Thursday 17 July 11:00 to Sunday 20 July 17:00 Visit over 50 cats including tigers, lions, leopards and cheetahs. £10 entrance fee, under 5s free. Advance online booking only, limited ticket availability visit website for details www.whf.org.uk last entry 16:30. They also have face painting, BBQ, ice cream, bouncy castle, art & craft stalls. The Big Cat Sanctuary, Headcorn Road, Smarden, TN27 8PJ. Jerwood Drawing Festival at the Jerwood Gallery 19 July to 15 October The Festival will feature ‘Drawn Together: Artist as Selector’, a special exhibition to mark the twentieth year of the Jerwood Drawing Prize. The exhibition will include drawings by eminent contemporary artists, including Michael Craig-Martin, Cornelia Parker and Rachel Whiteread, who have been selectors of the Jerwood Drawing Prize over the past twenty years. The Festival will also feature an exciting project with multiaward winning illustrator Sir Quentin Blake entitled ‘Quentin Blake at Jerwood Gallery’. Jerwood Gallery, Rock-a-Nore Road, Hastings, East Sussex, TN34 3DW. www.jerwoodgallery.org. An audience with Kipling at Bateman’s Saturday 19 July 10:00 to 16:00 Local historian Geoff Hutchinson performs as Rudyard Kipling on a guided tour, followed by dinner in the Mulberry tearoom. £35. Booking essential. 01435 882302. Bateman’s, Burwash, Etchingham.

July 2014

Farmers’ Markets EVERY TUESDAY 09:00 to 11:00 Wittersham Wittersham Village Hall, The Street EVERY WEDNESDAY 10:00 to 13:00 Rye Strand Quay, Rye, East Sussex, TN31 7AY NIGHT MARKET WEDNESDAY 16 JULY 17:00 to 20:30 Cranbrook Rotary Park, Downtown Cranbrook, Kent EVERY THURSDAY 09:00 to 12noon Rolvenden St Mary’s Church, Rolvenden, TN18 5PN Rolvenden Village Hall, Maytham Road, Rolvenden, TN17 4ND EVERY FRIDAY 10:00 to 12noon Brede Brede Village Hall, Cackle Street, Brede, East Sussex, TN31 6DX EVERY FRIDAY 07:00 to 15:30 Tenterden Market Square, behind Savannah Coﬀee Shop, Tenterden & Tenterden High Street from 08:30 to 12noon FRIDAY 11 JULY and FRIDAY 25 JULY 10:00 to 15:30 Sissinghurst Castle Sissinghurst Castle, Biddenden Road, Cranbrook, Kent, TN17 2AB SATURDAY 26 JULY 9:30 to 13:00 Cranbrook Vestry Hall, High Street, Cranbrook, TN17 3HF

The Onion Magazine 23

Soundingoff In The Wild One, the 1953 film about outlaw bikers, a girl asks gang leader Marlon Brando what he’s rebelling against. ‘Whaddya got?’ he says, and I feel the same way about television. ‘What do you hate?’ ‘Whaddya got?’ Here’s a list, in no particular order. * Quiz contestants who pass the back of a hand across their brows and go phew, or try to be funny, or attempt to be interesting (wacky clothes/tattoos/purple hair, etc.). * Presenters in Countryfile who say ‘Can I have a go?’ (Dry stone walling, cheese making, pottery, milking cows). * People on Escape To The Country who say ‘wow’ and ‘wow factor’ and who blub at the sight of a wood burning stove, talk about sharing a glass of wine on the patio while admiring spectacular views, tick boxes, say ‘quirky’, ‘iconic’, ‘quintessential’ and ‘chocolate box’, joke about tall partners and low beams, say that interiors are a ‘blank canvas’ or not to their taste (when they are dressed in abominable ditto), talk of rental potential and how they expect to keep pigs, chickens and erect yurts. * Clapping along to the music on Strictly Come Dancing, smack on the beat, thump, thump, thump, drowning out a fine orchestra and talented singers. * Professors, historians, doctors, scientists, art experts and celebrities who are roped in to front populist documentaries and who march about all the time, indoors and out, backed by a lunatic on a piano. * Reporters who stand in front of important events, rabbiting on while the action is going on behind them. * Reporters who interview each other, hand back to the studio where the presenter interviews another presenter before handing back to the first reporter for an update. * Editing in almost anything, news bulletins, documentaries, films – it’s flick, flick, flick so fast you can’t get your eyes into 24 The Onion Magazine

focus and if you do the image is usually irrelevant (the cornice of a building, a tomato, an extreme close-up of someone’s nostril). * Dramas that, when ahead of viewing you check out the gist of the plot, say: ‘A girl’s body has been found’, and that usually take place in interiors with the lights off and actors murmuring to each other about something you can’t quite catch. * Comedians who find each other funny, seem to live in the same street in Camden and appear over and over again on each other’s shows. * TV personalities who have an easy job: Monty Don (‘Come and watch me doing my garden, again.’), Paul Martin (‘It’s what auctions are all about.’), Jeremy Clarkson (‘Hoo-hoo, nought to sixty in three seconds, hee-hee.’). * Athletics pundits who did something themselves many years ago, who chat for twenty minutes before a race that takes thirty seconds and another twenty after it’s finished, and sports commentators generally who shout all the time even when nothing’s happening, or who drone on in a monotone about digging deep, going the whole nine yards and giving 110%. * Warnings that programmes contain adult themes when it turns out they do anything but. And so on and so on. But I still watch. I wonder why? Maybe so I can have a rant. Sent in by a reader who wishes to remain anonymous.

If you would like to Sound Off about anything, then please feel free to do that here. This column is open to everyone to say what they like about anything, provided, of course, that they don’t break the law. We obviously won’t print anything that is libellous or that is in some other way illegal. It’s your opinions that we’re interested in. If you have something to say about anything at all, and if you can say it in about 500 words, then let us have it. We don’t have to agree with you, but if you have an interesting point of view we will print it. Send your piece to carol@ onionpublishing.co.uk. The article can appear with your name or anonymously, you can choose, but do make sure that you include your name and address when submitting your piece. onionmagazine.co.uk

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EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS ... THINGS TO DO

Family open day at Frog Firle Farm, Alfriston Saturday 19 July 10:30 to 15:30 A fun day out with farm crafts, games, wildlife, history, expert-led walks, cream teas and cake available. Free entry. Frog Firle Farm, Alfriston Road, Alfriston, East Sussex, BN26 5TT. Brightling Horticultural Show and Fete Saturday 19 July 14:30 A traditional village horticultural show with fete. An afternoon of family fun including: competition tent with fruit, veg, craft, flower arranging, cookery and children’s classes, a fun Dog Show, teas and a beer and Pimms bar, live music and lots of children’s activities. Schedules available for entries from Victoria Fraser on 01580 880500. Fete will be held at the Tower Field, Brightling. Smallhythe500 illustrated talks in the Barn Theatre, Smallhythe Place Saturday 19 July 14:30 As part of the Smallhythe500 programme of events to commemorate the Great Fire of Smallhythe in July 1514 and the rebuilding of the village and its famous shipyards, two local experts will give illustrated talks in the Barn Theatre at Smallhythe Place, Smallhythe at

26>

2.30pm. Fred Walker will speak about ‘Shipbuilding at Smallhythe’ and Judith Shaw will talk about ‘Timberframed buildings in Kent’. The entrance fee of £5 covers both talks. Smallhythe Place, Kent, TN30 7NG. Telephone 01580 762334. Pop-up Camping and Stargazing Night at Sheffield Park & Garden Saturday 19 July - Set up by 19:00 Camp in the park and wake up to beautiful views. Adult £10, Child £5. Booking essential. 01825 790302. Sheffield Park, Uckfield, TN22 3QX. ‘Alice!’ - The Academy’s end-of-year Show at The Sinden Theatre, Tenterden Saturday 19 July 19:00 to Sunday 20 July 15:00 The Academy’s original adaptation of Alice in Wonderland. A 2-hour spectacular, featuring the music of The Beatles. A massive cast and a magical mystery tour through Wonderland. The Academy is an independent Saturday morning stage school for children age 6–15. If you’re thinking of joining and you visit the show you get your ticket money back. Tickets £10 Adult, £7.50 Child. More details and Box Office on 01580 715831, email theacademystageschool@gmail. com.

July Caption Competition We were so enchanted with the Lightfoot Alpacas and their amusing faces (see last month’s edition) that we couldn’t resist featuring them again this month - this time in a caption competition. Just put a caption to this photograph and send it in to us, either my email or by post, to reach us by 25th July and you could be in with a chance to win a fabulous ‘Make your own Alpaca’ kit, which uses Lightfoot Alpaca wool, provided by the very funny and extremely talented people at Woolly Felters (do look up Woolly Felters on Facebook). The Woolly Felters will also be at the Lightfoot Alpaca open day on September 6th selling their kits. Send your caption, your name and address/email address to competition@onionpublishing.co.uk with July Caption Competition in the subject line. The winner will be notified after the closing date of 25th July. Postal entries can also be sent to us at the address given on page three.

July 2014

The Onion Magazine 25

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EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS .. THINGS TO DO

French workshop at Homewood School, Tenterden Saturday 19 July 09:00 to 12:00 French for holidays workshop open to the all community. The workshop is subject to a minimum of 5 people per workshop. Learn some French just in time for your trip to France. You do not need to buy anything to enjoy this course. £30.00 per person. For more information contact Miss Monica Marchetti on 01233 336410 or 07952 013729, email monica.marchetti@ntlworld.com. Homewood School, Ashford Road, Tenterden, TN30 6LT. Free Guided Tour of Biddenden Vineyard Saturday 19 July 09:45 Arrive at the vineyard at 9.45am for a free cup of coffee ready for the tour to begin at 10am and learn the history behind the vineyard. A chance to taste the wines, ciders and apple juice, all free of charge, in the vineyard shop will follow the tour. Please note: this is not for large groups or coach parties and prebooking is essential. Telephone 01580 291726, www. biddendenvineyards.com. Biddenden Vineyard, Gribble Bridge Lane. Mad Jack’s Morris 60th Birthday celebration dance around Hastings

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Saturday 19 July 11:00 to 16:00 See Mad Jack’s Morris men and women dancing around Hastings. Mad Jack’s are always looking for new members, both dancers and musicians and are holding taster sessions on 22 September and also 29 September at 8pm at St Clements Church House, Croft Road, Hastings, TN34 3HJ. If you want to try it out or book them for a special event contact maryphillips77@hotmail.co.uk, telephone 07973 671834, www.madjacksmorris.co.uk. Strawberry Fayre in Rolvenden Saturday 19 July 14:00 to 17:00 Celebrating 40 years since Monypenny opened - with strawberry teas, tombola, raffle, bottle stall, ‘trash and treasure’, cake stall. MonyPenny, Rolvenden, TN17 4NF. Pirate Day in Hastings Saturday 20 July Aah, Jim lad, and Jack Sparrow lookalikes. Get your pirate outfits on and head to the Stade in Hastings for the Pirate Day (in aid of Gt Ormond Street Hospital). There is a Grand Parade with drummers through the Old Town. A brand new family-friendly Pirate Ship Ride, children’s and street entertainments, Pirate crazy golf competition – in fact, there’s avast amount of things to do.

Owning a holiday home: one decision you’ll never regret! For many people, owning a holiday home by the sea can be the perfect way to make the most of their leisure time. You can escape to it anytime without having to pre-book, or you could spend weeks or even months in your beachside bolt-hole. An impossibly expensive dream? Not if you look at the amazing deals from one of Britain’s most respected park groups: Park Holidays UK. At their 10 parks in Kent and Sussex, prices for a preowned caravan holiday home, fully equipped and furnished, start from just £9,995 or a brand new model could be yours for under £20,000. With the increased demand for homes, Park Holidays UK now even offer spacious luxury

lodges at a number of their parks. A real home from home and a great place to stay. You’ll be getting the keys not just to an attractively designed modern second home. You’ll also be unlocking a leisure lifestyle you might not have thought possible. Your second home can also bring the family closer together if you choose a location near to where other members live. With such benefits on offer, it’s no wonder that many folk sell up their existing home, move to somewhere more manageable, and use the residue to buy a holiday caravan. In fact, Park Holidays UK can even help with this by arranging the quick sale of your current home with their Home Exchange programme. For more information call 0800 138 0477, or see the parks and properties currently available for sale at www.ParkHolidays.com ADVERTORIAL

26 The Onion Magazine

onionmagazine.co.uk

BEAUPORT PARK St Leonards-on-Sea, Hastings NEW 11½ MONTH SEASON If you’re looking for the very best in leisure living, our luxury lodges will deliver the ultimate ownership experience every time. Beauport Holiday Park is a stunning country park set in over 250 acres of natural woodland on the outskirts of historic Hastings. It is a haven of peace and tranquility and the ideal choice to get away from it all. With a great mix of facilities, entertainment for all ages and lots to see and do in the surrounding area, Beauport is the place to be.

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SERvES 8–10

raspBerry GeNoIse layer caKe

This looks and sounds impressive but doesn’t really take much more effort than a normal sponge. The key is to get all your ingredients ready in advance so that once you’ve beaten the eggs you can get the cake into the oven. 6 large eggs 200g caster sugar 80g unsalted butter, melted 1 tsp vanilla extract or vanilla bean paste 200g plain flour 2 tbsp raspberry liqueur such as Chambord Filling 600ml double cream 3–4 tbsp raspberry jam 600g raspberries 1 tbsp caster sugar ½ tsp raspberry liqueur such as Chambord 50g white chocolate bar (optional) You will also need three 20cm sandwich tins, greased and lined with baking parchment

Bits & Bobs White chocolate shavings

These make a lovely (and easy!) garnish for cake. You can make them with a vegetable peeler by pulling it towards you over a bar of chocolate. Just make sure the chocolate is room temperature. 28 The Onion Magazine

Preheat the oven to 180ºC/350ºF/Gas Mark 4. Break the eggs into a heatproof bowl, add the sugar and place over a pan of simmering water. Beat with an electric whisk until the mixture has doubled in volume and leaves a ribbon trail on the surface when you remove the whisk. Combine the melted butter and vanilla extract and fold into the mix using a metal spoon. Sift in the flour and gently fold in until combined. Divide the batter equally between the 3 cake tins and bake in the preheated oven, just above the middle shelf, for 25 minutes until golden and a skewer comes out clean when inserted into the middle of the cake. Remove from the oven and leave to cool in the tins. Once completely cool, remove the cakes from the tins and brush with the raspberry liqueur. Meanwhile, to make the filling, whisk 400ml of the cream until it forms soft peaks. Fold in the jam and half of the raspberries. Place the first sponge on a cake stand and spread with half the raspberry cream. Place the second sponge on top and repeat the process; top with the third and final sponge. Whisk the remaining 200ml of double cream until soft peaks form and spread on the top of the cake. Toss the remaining raspberries, the caster sugar and half a teaspoon of raspberry liqueur gently to combine, then arrange in a pretty crowning layer, pointy sides up, over the top. Cakes

onionmagazine.co.uk

I have made this cake and it’s delicious. My layers weren’t quite as even as Jo’s looked in the photograph, but it certainly didn’t make any difference to the taste (according to my husband anyway). I substituted the Chambord with the raspberry liqueur from Sedlescombe Vineyard. This recipe is taken from BBC 2’s Great British Bake-Off Champion, Jo Wheatley’s, ‘Home Baking’ book published by Constable & Robinson. I have an old edition which I absolutely love and have had so many successes with - they are bringing out a lovely brand new edition on 17th July. (See the competition on page 39 of this magazine for a chance to win a copy of the new book, Ed.)

July 2014

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EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS .. THINGS TO DO

Get revved up for the Classic and Vintage Vehicle Show at Kent Life Heritage Farm Park Sunday 20 July 10:00 to 17:00 (last admission 16:00) Kent Life, the award-winning rural heritage attraction near Maidstone, is holding a Classic and Vintage Show. Apart from the display of fabulous vehicles you’ll be able to explore the historic vintage village, meet the animals in ‘Cuddle Corner’ and go on tractor rides. There are lots of activities inside and out over 28 acres. Adults £9.25, Concessions £9.25, Children (3-15) £7.25. Under 3s and Kent Life Members are free. Kent Life Heritage Park Farm is at Lock Lane, off junction 6 of the M20. For more information telephone 01622 763936 or visit www. kentlife.org.uk. The World of Spiders at Rye Harbour Nature Reserve (2 miles) Sunday 20 July 14:00 to 15:30 Arachnophobic? Put aside your fears and join the warden, Chris, to find out more about the world of spiders and take a look at some of those that are found at the nature reserve. Meet at Lime Kiln Cottage Information Centre. No booking necessary. Donations appreciated. www.sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/ whatson, email rhnoffice@sussexwt.org.uk, telephone 01797 227784. Daniel Bhattacharya and Jeremy Young at Alfriston Summer Music Festival Tuesday 22 July 19:30 Violinist Daniel Bhattacharya and pianist Jeremy Young’s programme will include Brahms Piano Quartet in C Minor. At St Andrew’s Church, Alfriston. Tickets £15. Contact 01403 276726, info@ alfristonsummermusic.co.uk. Sir Andrew Motion ‘Anthem for Doomed Youth’ Wednesday 23 July 19:30 Former Poet Laureate Sir Andrew Motion is joined by pianist Ian Buckle for a rich tapestry of words and music commemorating the centenary of the start of World War I. Sir Andrew reads his own work and poems by Wilfrid Owen and Geoffrey Hill, interweaved with Ian’s performance of Ravel’s Tombeau de Couperin, miniatures by Elgar, Bridge, Ireland, and Bainton, and Variations by Webern. Tickets £18. At St Andrew’s Church, Alfriston. Contact 01403 276726, info@alfristonsummermusic.co.uk. Brahms and Schumann at Alfriston Summer Music Festival Thursday 24 July 19:30 Sadie Fields (violin), Karine Georgian (cello), Jeremy Young (piano). Their programme includes music from Brahms and Schumann. Tickets £15. At St Andrew’s 30 The Onion Magazine

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Church, Alfriston. Contact 01403 276726, info@ alfristonsummermusic.co.uk. Eugenio Catone at Alfriston Summer Music Festival Friday 25 July 13:10 Pianist Eugenio Catone was the winner of the Hastings International Piano Competition in 2012. His programme includes works by Schumann and Chopin. Suggested donation £5. At St Andrew’s Church, Alfriston. Contact 01403 276726, info@ alfristonsummermusic.co.uk. Wild Woodland Holiday Club Friday 25 July 10:00 to 15:00 A whole day of holiday fun at Swallowtail Hill. There will be a campfire, games, woodland crafts. You’re asked to take a packed lunch. Suitable for ages 6-11. Parents/carers do not accompany children. Meet at Swallowtail Hill Farm, Hobbs Lane, Beckley, Rye, TN31 6TT. Booking essential. Cost £20 per child. www.sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/whatson, email rhnoffice@sussexwt.org.uk, telephone 01797 227784. Police ‘surgery’ in St Michaels Friday 25 July 12:30 to 13:30 PCSO Angie Burden is holding a Police surgery in St Michaels Post Office. Members of the public are very welcome to speak to Angie in person. Alfriston Ensemble at St Andrew’s Church, Alfriston Friday 25 July 19:30 Featuring clarinetist Jon Carnac, the programme includes Mozart and Piazzolla, and a selection of Corelli and Vivaldi concerti. Tickets £15. Contact 01403 276726, info@alfristonsummermusic.co.uk. Guinness World Record Hill-rolling attempt Saturday 26 July 16:00 Get into the Guinness World Record books by joining in to try to get the most people ever rolling down a hill at Polesden Lacey, Great Bookham, near Dorking. Telephone 01372 452048. Free entry. Wild Woodland Weekend Club Saturday 26 July 10:00 to 13:00 Forest School activities for children aged 6-11, held in a private woodland in Beckley. The Wild Things get together on the last Saturday of each month and activities may include campfire cooking, woodland crafts, games, den building. Parents/carers do not accompany children. Meet at Swallowtail Hill Farm, Hobbs Lane, Beckley, TN31 6TT. Booking is essential. Cost £10 per child. www.sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/ whatson, email rhnoffice@sussexwt.org.uk, telephone 01797 227784. onionmagazine.co.uk

Good GADGETS Lemon Squeezer This really is the simplest of good gadgets. It is a humble lemon squeezer. “A lemon squeezer?” you gasp “Who would have thought of such a thing?” Well, if you go online and Google ‘Lemon Squeezer’ you will see just how many people have tried to think of such a thing. You will be amazed at the sheer number of ridiculous, clumsy, over-priced lemon squeezers the World has begat. It would seem that while clever men have been earning the daily crust by curing this disease and that and going to moons and such, lesser men and women have been throwing themselves on their computers in the apparently ceaseless quest to find a lemon squeezer that works. You simply cannot believe the number of useless and expensive ways there are for trying to extract juice from that masterpiece of packaging, the lemon. You can buy lemon squeezers that make a mess, or cost a fortune, or inflict pain and injury on the user, you can even buy, very easily it seems, lemon squeezers that do all three things at the same time. And then there is the supreme idiocy of the lemon squeezer as sculpture, an artefact artform, the ludicrous Starck tripod thing. Ever tried to use one of those? Lest we lose sight of what we require here let me remind you what this simple artisan of the kitchen should do: - It should squeeze lemons without inflicting pain or discomfort on the user and without allowing any mess to attach itself to the user. - It should yield clear, pure lemon juice that flows from it free from pith, pip and other citric detritus and… - Its operation should be at once simple and require no electricity. After God knows how many thousands of years of development finally such a device July 2014

exists: Hail the Eddington Lemon Squeezer which I confidently expect to be knighted in the next Honours List. Use thus: 1. Cut lemon in half 2.Place half of lemon cut side down in the squeezer 3. Squeeze QED.

The Eddingtons Lemon Squeezer can be bought from many local shops, including Waitrose in Tenterden, and is also available online from www.eddingtons.co.uk

The Onion Magazine 31

July gardening

By Jack Hebden July is an ideal time of the year to get rid of some of those large perennial weeds that for some reason choose to grow out of the very middle of a clump of my herbaceous plants and shrubs. Perhaps you have a rose with a weed growing very close to its main stem, or worse those two garden yobs ground elder and bindweed are spreading their evil about your garden. In July these invaders are growing strongly which makes them very visible but it also makes them very susceptible to a little chemical warfare. I also find that small (and sometimes not so small) ash saplings manage to insinuate themselves in the most devilishly difficult positions, but we’ll come back to them in a moment. How do you get rid of deep-rooted and persistent weeds growing very close to or ‘in’ an important plant and whose roots are intertwined with that plant? You can’t dig them out because, by definition, their roots are enmeshed with those of the ‘proper’ plant, the one you want to keep. But neither 32 The Onion magazine

can you leave them to grow and multiply and possibly weaken the host plant. In any case digging them up will invariably result in there being a bit of root left and this will simply regrow; something that’s particularly true of our arch enemies, bindweed and ground elder. Fortunately there is an excellent weedkiller which will help, glyphosate; and as I said last month, “…without the judicious use of glyphosate weedkiller, I wouldn’t be able to maintain my garden and live a normal life.” Judicious is the key word. I’m not talking about spraying it everywhere every week. Many of the weedkillers which we used until quite recently are now banned because they are dangerous to us, to our pets or to onionmagazine.co.uk

paint the weedkiller, in this case glyphosate, very carefully and precisely just on to the leaves of the weed. Sometimes however there is no alternative to getting down on your knees and carefully painting the weed leaves with a small paint brush. Once painted on the leaves the chemical is translocated through the weed to its roots and the weed is killed and cannot re-grow. The roots of the ‘proper’ plant, although they may be inextricably entwined with the weed roots, will not be affected and only the weed will die. In the case of bindweed I first like to untangle it from the plant around and through which it is growing and then spread it out on bare ground or on a piece of newspaper before painting its leaves with glyphosate or even carefully drizzling it from a watering can if the mass of bindweed is big enough and if I’m certain that no weedkiller will go on to the ‘proper’ garden plants. Bindweed is persistent and there’s absolutely no chance of getting it out of a border by digging it out; every minuscule piece which you leave in the ground - and you will certainly leave bits - will flourish, and where there was once a small bindweed problem there will be a big one.

Left: Failure to remove dead roses not only reduces repeat flowering but spoils the existing display too. Top: A web of bindweed disentangled from a hydrangea and ‘drizzled’ with glyphosate. Above: A small ash stump cross cut and ready for painting with SBK brushwood killer.

the wildlife of the garden. Glyphosate isn’t dangerous – although that doesn’t exactly mean you can drink it - and it is very effective too. It is better known by its trade name of ‘Roundup‘ , but it appears under other brand names as well. The problem is how to apply it in the situations described above when it is very important that you do not get any on the leaves of the plant which is unfortunate enough to have the wretched weed growing in or very near to it. To do this you need a spot weeder. At Great Dixter I believe they use The Microwipe, but a more precise tool, which I prefer for garden border use, is the Zero Weeding Brush (www.presentsformen.co.uk/spot-weedingbrush.prod7906/). This brush allows you to July 2014

Another nuisance in many gardens is the mysterious appearance of unwanted ash saplings growing from berries dropped by the birds. In a densely planted border it is impossible to get rid of these by digging them out. And just as difficult to remove are the brambles which take root in awkward places like hedge bottoms. Once again we have to spot-weed. In these cases I cut the offending sapling/bramble off near the ground and then with a penknife I cut a cross in the top of the small stump which is left and paint that ‘cross’ (see pic) generously with SBK brushwood killer. The cross cuts give a much bigger area of contact for the weedkiller. The tools in this case are simply a jam jar with the weedkiller and a small paintbrush. I hate this job. It’s irritating and awkward, but it does work and it’s so much more effective than trying to dig the offender out. One tip when buying weedkiller: it’s much more economical to buy the concentrated weedkiller and to dilute it yourself rather than to buy the ready-to-use stuff. The ready-to-use is already diluted so you are in effect buying a lot of water. And to end on a more flowery note remember that now that the first flush of roses is over it is important to keep on top of the dead-heading and to give the roses a bit of a mid-season booster feed. Dead-heading encourages successive blooming on most roses and although each succeeding flush will be weaker than the one before you should be able to get roses blooming through Summer and well into Autumn. Last year’s mild Winter even saw the odd bloom in December in my garden. The Onion magazine 33

EAT BY NICK FARLEY

Fusciardi’s

It’s that time of year when thoughts turn with increasing frequency – and in my case that means daily ̶ to ice cream at the seaside. The sun shines and we look at each other and sooner or later one of us will weaken and utter the magic word Fusciardi’s, and off we go. Fusciardi’s is not the Savoy; it’s not the place for the celebratory five course dinner; it is, however, decidedly THE place for ice cream (and a lot more) at the seaside. This restaurant, this café, this ice cream parlour, this coffee bar, this tea room – I don’t really know how to classify it – is on the front at Eastbourne, and Eastbourne is just far enough to drive so that when you get there you feel that you have earnt a little reward and you can, therefore, with a clear conscience avail yourself of the Fusciardian delights arrayed before you, and these delights run to 18 different flavours of home-made ice cream and more than 20 different sundaes, not to mention various cakes and savoury snacks. We spent a sunny lunchtime there the other day with a first course of a simple ham sandwich for me and a toasted ham and cheese panini for The Editor. The ham sandwich was perhaps a trifle disappointing if I’m honest, but the toasted Panini was all that could be expected and The Ed was cooing with delight about it and also the balsamic salad dressing. The ice cream ‘pudding’ I think speaks for itself. Look upon it with awe. I had a concoction of chocolate and mint ice cream with Maltesers and mint chocolates. Madam had the banana and ice cream extravaganza pictured, which also very obviously touched the spot. The whole was rounded off with excellent coffees and the bill for two was £20.60. But Fusciardi’s is not just a retreat for the ice creamists amongst you, we are also fans of their breakfasts. There is nothing nicer on a bright Sunday morning than biffing down to Eastbourne and having a leisurely Fusciardi breakfast and a browse through the newspapers. In fact, if I lived round the corner I’d breakfast there every day. So there you have it: Fusciardi’s an excellent seaside café, ice cream parlour, coffee bar that it is well run with delightful staff. It’s hardly surprising that it’s been so successful for the last forty years or more. Fusciardi’s 30 Marine Parade, Eastbourne, East Sussex BN22 7AY. Telephone 01323 722128. www.fusciardiicecreams.co.uk.

34 The Onion magazine

onionmagazine.co.uk

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EXHIBITIONS … CONCERTS … FETES & FAIRS … CHARITY EVENTS .. THINGS TO DO

Peter Cropper (violin) and Friends at St Andrew’s Church, Alfriston Saturday 26 July 19:30 Programme will include Haydn, Mozart and Mendelsson. Tickets £18. Contact 01403 276726, info@alfristonsummermusic.co.uk. Tenterden Book Fair at Highbury Hall Saturday 26 July 09:00 to 15:00 15 book dealers will provide thousands of secondhand books for sale on all subjects, for the reader and for the collector. Admission free. Refreshments available all day. Details from Barry Williams barryjean. williams@btinternet.com. Highbury Hall, Highbury Lane,Tenterden TN30 6LE. South of England Classic SuperBike Show Sunday 27 July from 10:00 A brand new show for SuperBikes of the Seventies, Eighties and beyond. Free entry for pre-booked bikes. For information visit www.elk-promotions.co.uk, telephone 01797 344277. Smallhythe 500 ‘Pairs’ Exhibition at Smallhythe Studio Sunday 27 July 11:00 to Sunday 3 August 17:00 This exhibition in the new Smallhythe Studio is linked to the celebrations to mark 500 years since the 1514 fire which destroyed the village of Smallhythe. The exhibition features work by about 30 local artists, inspired by landscape, plants and wildlife. There will be two works by each artist. Smallhythe Studio, Smallhythe Road, TN30 7NB. Tenterden Cricket Week Festival at Tenterden Cricket Club, Morghew Park, Smallhythe Road, Tenterden Sunday 27 July 11:30 to Sunday 3 August Cricket matches every day, entrance free. Start time 11.30am except where noted: Sunday 27 July Tenterden v C Linton XI (start time 1.30pm); Monday 28 July - Tenterden v Noddymen; Tuesday 29 July Tenterden v Bewdley; Wednesday 30 July - Tenterden v Jack Massey XI; Thursday 31 July - Tenterden v Longfellows; Friday 1 Aug - Tenterden v Tenterden Exiles; Sunday 3 Aug - Tenterden v Rory Sloan XI. The Corin Long Memorial Concert at St Andrew’s Church, Alfriston Sunday 27 July 16:00 The programme for The Pether String Trio (winners of the Corin Long Award 2014) will include the Dohnanyi Serenade for string trio in C major, Op.10. Donations will be collected in aid of the Corin Long Memorial Fund. Contact 01403 276726, info@ alfristonsummermusic.co.uk. July 2014

World War One Commemoration, Northiam Sunday July 27 10:30 Village service of Remembrance in St Mary’s Church Northiam and afterwards at the Village War Memorial. Cinema under the stars – Casablanca at Sissinghurst Castle Sunday 27 July 19:45 to 23:00 Classic cinema in a beautiful setting under the stars. “We’ll always have Paris.” Tickets £13.50 Adult, £9 Child. Booking essential on 0844 858 6767. Beginners’ Bird Watching at Rye Harbour Nature Reserve (2 miles) Sunday 27 July 10:00 to 12:00 Learn how to identify a variety of resident and migrant birds. Binoculars and field guides available to use on the day. Meet at Rye Harbour car park. No booking necessary. Donations appreciated. www. sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/whatson, email rhnoffice@ sussexwt.org.uk, telephone 01797 227784. Knights and Princesses Academy at Bodiam Castle Every Wednesday and Thursday from 30 July to 28 August, 10:30 to 16:30 Are you brave enough to complete the training to become a knight or princess of Bodiam Castle and receive your prize and certificate? For more information visit www.nationaltrust.org.uk/ bodiamcastle or telephone 01580 831320. Moths for all ages at Rye Harbour Nature Reserve Wednesday 30 July 10:00 to 11:00 Learn about the moths that fly around the reserve at night and look at the moths caught in the moth trap the night before. Suitable for all the family. Meet at Lime Kiln Cottage Information Centre. Wheelchair accessible. No booking necessary. Donations appreciated. www.sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/ whatson, email rhnoffice@sussexwt.org.uk, telephone 01797 227784. Smallhythe Church Service - Commemoration of the Great Fire of Smallhythe in 1514 Thursday 31 July 19:00 The Church of St John the Baptist, Smallhythe will mark the 500th anniversary of the destruction of Smallhythe by fire on 31 July 1514 with a service in the presence of the Archdeacon of Ashford. The service is part of the Smallhythe500 programme of events in 2014-5 to commemorate the destruction of Smallhythe and its subsequent rebuilding.

The Onion magazine 35

Burwash and Bateman’s This walk features views over unspoilt countryside, and much of the return half is over National Trust land surrounding Rudyard Kipling’s former home, Bateman’s. Allow time to visit the house and enjoy the Mulberry tearoom. The walk

Turn right out of the car park adjacent to the Bear Inn onto the village street and then left just after the post office down the lane leading to the Rose and Crown pub. Take the track (Ham Lane) to the left of the playing field. After half a mile, turn left through a gate and follow an arrow across the meadow, descending to a stile beyond barns into woodland. The clearly defined path winds through trees to another stile and meadow. Bear right to a stile in the bottom left corner of this field, but do not climb this. Instead turn left to follow the stream and reach a gate in the corner of the field. Walk down the long, narrow meadow that follows and go through another iron gate at the end of this, on the right. Cross the stream and climb towards Mottynsden Farm, making for the iron gate to the right of the oast house. Go through this and pass between the farmhouse and the manor to find a driveway leading right towards a modern house. Where the driveway curves right, continue ahead on a path that ascends the bank, to a stile and enter an orchard. Turn right uphill along the edge of the orchard and go through a gate at the top of the orchard, which leads to a metalled farm track. Turn left, passing a plaque to Flight Lieutenant R.F. Rimmer, killed in action here during the Battle of Britain. When the track meets a lane, turn left and pass Holton Farm before turning right onto a track at the side of the farm. Glimpses of open countryside are the foretaste of a splendid panorama of pastoral landscape which will be enjoyed at the top of the hill. 36 The Onion magazine

After this, the path descends gently through woodland to reach Woodlands Farm. The bridleway passes to the right of the farm, and soon becomes a sunken track. This climbs and becomes narrow and overgrown. When the bridleway meets a farm track, bear left, but leave this before the top of the hill by turn left to follow a further section of ancient enclosed trackway, to reach the A265 opposite Weald House and the Burwash Weald village sign. Turn right and walk a short distance along the main road, turning left just beyond Weald House, past concrete posts, to join the drive to Burnt House Farm. Keep straight on at the end of the drive to pass between the houses (the one of the right incorporates oast houses), making for a metal gate leading into a paddock. Go through the gate and pass through a kissing-gate on the left to descend to another gateway. Pass through the gateway and turn left, following the yellow arrow and a fence. Keep to the right of this fence to a gate, pass through and continue along the fence until it ends at a gateway. Drop down across the next field to a stile and then walk through a few trees, passing a pond on the right, to cross another field. Halfway across, Bateman’s comes into view ahead. onionmagazine.co.uk

Image left: The East face of Batemanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in the early morning sun. Above: Looking East from Ham Lane, Burwash.

The path emerges on to an asphalted drive that becomes a farm track as it heads towards a barn. The track ends at a gate and stile, where you bear right, and walk for a short distance, keeping the hedge on the right, to reach another stile. Turn right to cross the stream and then bear left to cross the next, large field, making for the iron railings of a bridge in the fringe of trees on the far side. Cross the bridge, turn left and follow the path to a beautiful mill pond, where it reaches a lane, and turn left. The lane passes the north front of Batemanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, the fine 17th Century building where Rudyard Kipling lived. At the front of the house, turn right and after about 300 yards look for a stile on the left. Go over this and follow a line of old oaks to the right. Skirt the right side of a wood and from its corner go across the meadow to a stile on the far side. From here the path climbs towards Burwash, following the left-hand field edge to a plank bridge by an oak tree. After this bear left uphill and keep the fence on the left until a stile is reached. Cross this to a short path back to the car park.

DISTANCE: 5 miles (8km) OS MAPS: Landranger 199 (Eastbourne & Hastings), Explorer 136 (High Weald) ROUTE TERRAIN: Field and woodland paths STARTING POINT: Car park next to the Bear Inn, Burwash

This is Walk 8 from the Pathfinder Guides no.67: East Sussex & the South Downs book, published by Crimson Publishing (www.crimsonpublishing.co.uk). OS maps available (Landranger 199; Explorer 136).

Neither the publisher nor the author can accept any responsibility for any changes, errors or omissions in this route. Diversion orders can be made and permissions withdrawn at any time.

July 2014

The Onion magazine 37

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WIN WIN! A FABULOUS ‘HATBOX’ HAMPER FROM THOMAS J FUDGE’s We’ve teamed up with Thomas J Fudge’s to offer a lucky reader the chance to win a handsome hatbox, jam-packed with picnic-perfect scrumptious sweet and savoury biscuits, from its remarkable new range. From fruity florentines to magnificent melts, fabulous flats to beautiful ‘blisscuits’ – not to mention a spectacular Biscuits for Cheese selection – there’s something to tempt every taste bud this summer. Thomas J Fudge’s has been baking remarkably wondrous munchy things in the heart of beautiful, bountiful Dorset for more than 90 years. Its mouth-watering range of sweet and

savoury nibbles is designed with occasions in mind, with a straight-to-table tray perfect for presenting to guests or sharing with friends in the park. The perfect picnic hatbox includes a selection of biscuits for cheese and other remarkable sweet and savoury delights such as Cheese & Multi Peppercorn Flatbreads, Decadent Dark and Milk Chocolate Florentines, Marvellous Milk and Dark Chocolate Flapjacks and a selection of cheeky cheesy wafers. Visit www.thomasjfudges.co.uk to discover the full range of spectacular snacks and keep up to date with what’s happening at the bakery. www.facebook.com/ thomasjfudges, www.twitter.com/thomasjfudges. For a chance to win a Thomas J Fudge’s hamper please send your name and address/email address to competition@ onionpubishing.co.uk with Hamper in the subject line. The closing date is 25th July 2014.

WIN! A voucher for two tickets to the Kino Cinema in Hawkhurst.

WIN! We have three copies of ‘Home Baking’ by Jo Wheatley to give away.

Kino Hawkhurst is equipped with state-of-the-art digital high definition projection and sound equipment to ensure the highest quality viewing experience. Kino Hawkhurst is open from 9am daily. The luxurious 91-seat cinema offers film screenings throughout the day with up to 42 per week. Kino’s varied programme includes art-house, foreign language and children’s films as well as blockbusters, opera, ballet, theatre, music and sports. Kino also screens live broadcasts via its satellite system. Kino runs special events alongside its film programme, including question and answer sessions and an annual film festival. Kino can also be hired privately as a venue for fundraising events, birthday parties and corporate meetings. For a chance to win the Kino ticket voucher please send your name and address/email address to competition@ onionpublishing.co.uk with Kino Voucher in the subject line. Winners will be drawn and notified after the closing date. The closing date is 25th July 2014.

Home Baking is the second cookbook from BBC2’s Great British Bake Off winner and bestselling author of A Passion For Baking, Jo Wheatley. Home Baking provides a rich feast of easy recipes for little ones, tasty pies and tarts, delicious pastries, tray bake suppers and heavenly cakes. All will make you want to roll up your sleeves and get out the mixing bowl. Jo’s recipes are refreshingly simple, and all made regularly for her family. From a classic focaccia, to delicious chocolate and honeycomb bars, perfect American pancakes and a spectacular croquembouche, the 100 recipes in Home Baking will fill your home with wonderful aromas and delicious food all year round. Since winning the second series of the Great British Bake Off, Jo has started a home cooking school and written two cookbooks. When she is not baking, Jo loves to ride horses in the countryside or go swimming. Home Baking by Jo Wheatley is out 17th July 2014 (Constable, £18.99) www.constablerobinson.com. For a chance to win a copy of Home Baking please send your name and address/email address to competition@ onionpublishing.co.uk with Home Baking in the subject line. Winners will be drawn and notified after the closing date. The closing date is 25th July 2014.

Please enter as directed above. Postal entries can also be sent to us at the address given on page three.

TERMS & CONDITIONS OF ENTRY: By entering these competitions you agree to receive periodic emails from The Onion magazine, Onion Publishing Ltd and the originator of the competition you are entering. You can opt out of receiving these at any time and your data will never be passed on for use by third parties. The prizes are non-transferable and have no cash alternative. Only one entry per person per competition and prizes will only be sent to homes with a TN postcode.

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