Carolina Parent September 2015 by Carolina Parent

September 2015 • Free

18 FUN FALL

CHILL

Job Burnout

FESTIVALS

IN THE TRIANGLE

WORK THAT

WORKS Achieving balance creatively

FREE-RANGE Vs. HELICOPTER

Which parent are you?

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HAS YOUR ESSENTIAL EVERYDAY RESOURCES 2015 Family Favorites

Where to Have FUN!

1,155 LOCAL RESOURCES

GPS

2015-16

FREE

parent PUBLICATION

A CAROLINA

2014-15

526

GO. PLAY. SEE.

Education Resources

Making the Switch From Public to Private School

Why Early Education Matters Is Your Preschooler Gifted? A P U B L I C AT I O N O F carolinaparent.com | EDUCATION GUIDE 2014-15

EXCEPTIONAL

child

2015-16

September 2015 • Free

FREE

A FAMILY’S GUIDE TO SPECIAL NEEDS RESOURCES IN THE TRIANGLE

A PUBLICATION OF

WHAT HAPPENS After Graduation?

SPONSORED BY

When We Knew

WE’D BE OK 3 Families Share Their Journeys

509

UNDERSTANDING

Resources for SPECIAL NEEDS FAMILIES

Autism Spectrum Disorder

Exceptional Child The most up-to-date Triangle-area resources for your child with special needs are listed in our 2015 Exceptional Child digital publication, published online in September. …/CP/Annual-Guides/ Exceptional-Child

Free Weekend Fun

Move toward a better work/life balance at our

Enjoy the Triangle’s free

Women@Work Breakfast and Coffee & Connections

and inexpensive family

special event Thursday, Oct. 29, 8-11 a.m., in Cary.

events. Browse our Weekend

Hear from award-winning author and coach

Fun blog on Thursdays.

DJ Mitsch; network; enter for a chance to win door

…/CP/Blogs/ Carolina-ParentDaily-Post

prizes; and enjoy breakfast and a book signing.

…/CP/ThingstoDo "Women@Work" under "Our Events"

Celebrate National Play-Doh Day, Sept. 16

Win an Autumn Beach Getaway

Our Clueless Chick

Enter our giveaway Sept. 9-14 for a chance to win a three-

blogger shares a recipe

night stay in Myrtle Beach at the Crown Reef Beach Resort

and describes how you

& Waterpark.

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›

EDITOR’S NOTE morrismedianetwork.com

GROUP PUBLISHER Sharon Havranek

PUBLISHER

Brenda Larson  blarson@carolinaparent.com

What Matters Most

EDITOR

Beth Shugg  bshugg@carolinaparent.com

ASSOCIATE EDITOR

Janice Lewine  jlewine@carolinaparent.com

ART DIRECTOR

Melissa Stutts  melissa.stutts@morris.com

chieving “work-life balance” fundamentally involves concepts like “family night,” “me time” and “flex time.” But in order to make ends meet, busy parents must often sacrifice the very priorities — like maintaining a clean house or serving homemade meals — that make work-life harmony possible. Because we live in an age of digital reminders, textathons and on-demand TV, our priorities constantly reshuffle. On the busiest of days, we may forego a meal altogether or rely on smartphone communication to connect with loved ones. Our September issue focuses on ways you can take control of your life, unwind and make family time a priority. “Zero-Prep Family Fun” on page 24 presents 10 cheap and easy ways to enjoy family nights together. Find out how other working women attain harmony on page 27 in “Work That Works: Creative Ways Triangle Women are Achieving Work-Life Balance,” part one of a three-part series that begins this month. In “Steer Clear of Work-Life Burnout” on page 32, you’ll find tips on how to manage your priorities, ask for help and rearrange your schedule to free time for more important pastimes and activities with the ones you love. Parenting must also take priority. Understand the pros and cons of how you may be raising your children on page 30 in “Helicopter or Free Range? Determining the Parenting Style That Works Best for You.” Once you make time for fun in your family's schedule, turn to page 42 for a list of 18 local festivals in the Triangle — from Bugfest at the North Carolina Museum of Natural Sciences in Raleigh, to the Harvest and Hornworm Festival in downtown Durham. And don’t miss out on an excursion to Tweetsie Railroad in Blowing Rock this fall. Learn more about this fun destination on page 37. However you choose to create work-life balance, the end result is what matters — creating inner harmony and spending time with the ones you love. We’re here to help make that happen.

WEB EDITOR

Odile Fredericks  ofredericks@carolinaparent.com

DIGITAL MEDIA SPECIALIST

Lauren Isaacs  lisaacs@carolinaparent.com

SALES TEAM LEADER  MEDIA CONSULTANT Candi Griffin  cgriffin@carolinaparent.com

MEDIA CONSULTANTS

Regina Alston  ralston@carolinaparent.com Sue Chen  schen@carolinaparent.com

ADVERTISING SALES COORDINATOR Kia Moore  ads@charlotteparent.com

MORRIS VISITOR PUBLICATIONS REGIONAL VICE PRESIDENT KAREN RODRIGUEZ

PRESIDENT

DONNA KESSLER

DIRECTOR OF MANUFACTURING DONALD HORTON

BUSINESS ADMINISTRATOR SHELONDA WEST

PUBLICATION MANAGER KRIS MILLER

PRODUCTION COORDINATOR CHER WHEELER

carolinaparent.com

Phone: 919-956-2430  Fax: 919-956-2427 5716 Fayetteville Rd., Suite 201, Durham, NC 27713 advertising@carolinaparent.com  editorial@carolinaparent.com Circulation 25,000. Distribution of this magazine does not constitute an endorsement of information, products or services. Carolina Parent reserves the right to reject any advertisement or listing that is not in keeping with the publication’s standards. Copyright 2015-16. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited.

A Publication of the Visitor Publications Division of Morris Communications Company, L.L.C. 725 Broad St., Augusta, GA 30901 Chairman and CEO William S. Morris III

SEPTEMBER 2015 |

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President Will S. Morris IV

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Photo courtesy of Make-A-Wish Eastern North Carolina

Jewelers for Children Grants Durham Teen’s Wish

› FYI

| community

Students Participate in Annual Trauma Day

REEDS Jewelers at The Streets at Southpoint mall recently supported Jewelers for Children to help grant a wish for Jasmin, a Durham County teen who has cancer. Jasmin’s wish is to travel to Paris, France. She was honored July 21 at a Wish Party at REEDS Jewelers. Jewelers for Children has been a sponsor of Make-A-Wish since 1999, helping to bring the renewal and inspiration of Make-AWish experiences to more than 1,375 children with life-threatening medical conditions. Learn more at eastnc.wish.org.

UNC Hospitals hosted its annual Trauma Day over three separate days in July for teenagers who spend the summer working in UNC Hospitals Volunteer Services Program. This event, led by UNC Trauma Care, promotes the prevention of distracted driving behavior among teenagers. The students volunteered to help with the simulation of a real-life case involving a patient injured during a distracted driving incident. Using high-fidelity simulation techniques and equipment, UNC Hospital providers led students through the continuum of trauma care, from pre-hospital care through admission of the patient to intensive care. UNC Hospitals offers a variety of volunteer opportunities for students. Those who are interested should apply at uncmedicalcenter.org/uncmc/support/volunteer-services/high-school-volunteers.

WakeMed Physicians Practices Receives Grants The John Rex Endowment announced a four-year grant of $769,271 to support the implementation of a family-centered, collaborative care program called Project LAUNCH (Linking Actions for Unmet Needs in Children’s Health) within WakeMed Physician Practices’ pediatrics division that will help strengthen local families and promote the social and emotional well-being of children. Project LAUNCH is a nationally recognized, family-centered initiative that aims to improve child wellness systems. The grant will help WakeMed Physician Practices implement a family-centered medical home model and the Triple P – Positive Parenting Program, as well enable WakeMed Physician Practices to hire a childhood mental health specialist and family-centered health navigator. Learn more at wakemedphysicians.com.

POLL

What does “family night” mean in your house? Play board and/or video games together

30%

SEPTEMBER 2015 |

Order pizza and watch a movie

20%

carolinaparent.com

Play outside in the backyard together

20%

Linger around a home-cooked or grilled meal, talking and sharing memories

16%

OTHER

Photo of Pamela Fiely, a seventh-grade science teacher at Rolesville Middle, provided by WakeEd Partnership.

›

FYI

education

Parents Sound Off About School Supply Purchases Parents with elementary school-age children spend an average of $580 in school supply purchases, according to the National Retail Federation. Triangle parents sounded off recently about their children’s school supply expenses in an article posted online at carolinaparent.com. To read the article, search for "parents sound off."

Percentage of students ages 12-18 who reported being bullied at school during the 2013 school year.

WakeEd Partnership Embeds WCPSS Teachers in Area Companies

Source: National Center for Education Statistics

WakeEd Partnership, a nonprofit organization committed to improving public education in Wake County, inserted 50 Wake County Public School System educators into six area businesses July 15-16 as part of its SummerSTEM program, which aims to enrich each educator’s understanding of the knowledge and skills necessary to succeed in careers involving science, technology, engineering and math. Each instructor spent 16 hours embedded in two of the following companies: Biogen, LORD Corporation, the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences, North Carolina Department of Transportation, Red Hat and SAS. Learn more at wakeed.org.

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›

FYI

picks

Code a Minecraft Server

Celebrate Raggedy Ann’s 100th Birthday This September marks the centennial anniversary of Raggedy Ann, the iconic rag doll known for her red yarn hair and triangle nose. She was originally introduced to the public in the 1918 publication of “Raggedy Ann Stories,” the first in a series of children’s books featuring the character by American writer Johnny Gruelle. In 1920 a sequel, “Raggedy Andy Stories,” introduced her brother, Raggedy Andy, dressed in a sailor suit and hat. Aurora World has created special edition Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls costing $15 each in honor of this centennial birthday. Learn more at auroragift.com.

Technology education development company Digital Youth has announced the launch of Server Design 1, an online course that teaches kids how to program and customize their own Minecraft server, which they can then share with their friends. Minecraft, popular with ages 7 and older since it was created in 2009, is a multiplayer game involving the building of imaginative structures. The course involves 30-plus hours of interactive lessons that include watching videos, responding to questions, earning badges, and completing quizzes and assignments. $249.99. Learn more at youthdigital.com/server-design-1.html.

Download a Sesame Street Podcast Looking for a way to bring Sesame Street’s sunny skies to your smartphone or tablet? Try a podcast via iTunes, where you can choose from 20 episodes — all free — like “D is for Dinosaur,” "Count Along to Four” and “Best Buds With Bert and Ernie.” Visit itunes.apple.com and search for “Sesame Street.”

Relive Golden Moments

Bring childhood magic back into your life by reading “Everything I Need to Know I Learned From a Disney Little Golden Book” by Diane Muldrow (Golden Books, $9.99), which features iconic art and characters like Sleeping Beauty and Aladdin.

“The Little Red Hen: A Golden Book App” (for iPad, iPhone and iPod touch; $3.99) brings the classic story you loved as a child magically to life as a whimsical and interactive experience.

“Richard Scarry’s Best Little Golden Books EVER!” (Golden Books, $11.99) offers nine books in one — from “Chicken Little” and “Cars and Trucks” to “Polite Elephant” and “The Fox and the Crow.”

carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2015

›

FYI

health

COMPILED BY KATHERINE KOPP

Adolescent Health Linked to Education, Employment Outcomes Adolescence is a critical period of development, and studies are showing that physical and mental health problems can disrupt teens’ acquisition of skills and transition into the workforce. The July 2015 issue of Pediatrics included a review of 27 studies examining the education and employment outcomes of adolescents who experienced poor mental and physical health. The review revealed that 61 of 70 specific findings identified poorer education and employment in adolescents with health problems, compared to healthy teens. The results suggest that maintaining and seeking to improve health among students should be part of schools’ core business, as good health makes a substantial contribution to academic achievement and subsequent successful employment. Learn more at pediatrics.aapublications.org (search for “adolescent health”).

Kids Expecting Aggressive Behavior Become Aggressive Themselves A new Duke University-led study shows that hypervigilance to hostility triggers aggressive behavior in children. The four-year longitudinal study involving 1,299 children and their parents finds the pattern holds true in 12 different cultural groups from nine countries across the globe. This pattern is more common in some cultures than others, which helps explain why some cultures have more aggressive behavior problems in children than other cultures, according to the study. “Our study identifies a major psychological process that leads a child to commit violence,” says Kenneth A. Dodge, director of the Center for Child and Family Policy at Duke University and the study’s lead author. “When a child infers that he or she is being threatened by someone else and makes an attribution that the other person is acting with hostile intent, then that child is likely to react with aggression. This study shows that this pattern is universal in every one of the 12 cultural groups studied worldwide.” Learn more at pnas.org/content/ early/2015/07/08/1418572112.abstract.

SEPTEMBER 2015 |

26% NC Ranks 37 in Best States for Working Dads

The percentage of North Carolina residents with incomes below the poverty line (the nationwide average is 23 percent) Source: Kids Count 2014, The Annie E. Casey Foundation

DADS

In a study by WalletHub, North Carolina is ranked 37th in a study that analyzed worklife balance, health conditions, financial well-being and child-rearing environments for working dads in the 50 U.S. states and the District of Columbia. The study used 20 key metrics, which range from the unemployment rate for dads with kids younger than 18, to male life expectancy and day care quality.

carolinaparent.com

carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2015

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FYI

style

September

STYLE Battle that tricky transition between summer and fall with these wear-it-now, wear-it-later pieces.

1. Mossimo Supply Co. Brown Western Boots, target.com, $34.99 2. Dark Wash Chambray Shirtdress, maurices.com, $44.00 3. Tortoise and Turquoise Moon and Lola/Bourbon and Boweties Dalton Bangle, moonandlola.com, $34-$38 4. Heirloom Tomatoes Fold-Over Crossbody Bag, oldnavy.com, $26 Lauren Bell Isaacs is the digital media specialist for Carolina Parent. carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2015

›

GROWING UP

Anger Management Helping kids cool down BY MALIA JACOBSON

immering, seething, white-hot anger. We’ve all felt anger, and our children

AGES 13-18

experience it too. Angry emotions are a normal part of life, and by themselves,

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

they aren’t a cause for concern. But acting out of anger — which can include harming people or property — is a different story. A recent Harvard study reported that two-thirds of American teens have experienced an explosive “anger attack,” and that one out of 12 teens meet the criteria for Intermittent Explosive Disorder, a syndrome marked by uncontrollable fits of rage. From a hitting toddler to a temperamental teen, here’s how to help kids keep their cool.

AGES 0-5

Reality Bites While older kids are better at concealing emotions, toddlers wear their hearts on their sleeves. That means that when your toddler is angry, you’ll know right away. “Toddlerhood is by its very nature an emotional time for young children,” says Lorraine Breffni, director of Early Childhood at Nova Southeastern University in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Two-year-olds are highly impulsive by nature, and lack the verbal skills to fully express their anger or frustration. Add in the fact that toddlers are me-centric and lack the ability to understand how their actions impact others, and you have a recipe for hitting and biting.

inevitable when grade-schoolers with budding communication skills spend hours together. The school years can be full of friend conflicts, but they’re also rich with opportunities to learn and practice anger management and conflict-resolution skills. Don’t rush to intervene in disagreements between friends, says Bryce Hella, a licensed clinical psychologist at La Rabida Children’s Hospital in Chicago. Parents should step in only when a fight becomes physical. “Before policing the situation, encourage problem-solving. Kids may surprise parents with a creative solution to the problem.” Set aside time each day to talk through with your child, and listen when she pipes up about problems with peers. Validating your child’s feelings and listening to the whole story before offering advice can go a long way toward diffusing anger and helping her learn to navigate stormy emotions.

SEPTEMBER 2015 |

When your toddler hits, bites or scratches another child, don’t lash out; berating him can escalate a heated situation. Instead, recruit your child to comfort the child he hurt, applying an ice pack, giving a hug and comforting as needed. Then employ a logical consequence by removing your child from the activity if he acts aggressive toward a peer. Cutting a playdate short is hard, but the payoff is a child who understands the importance of self-control. AGES 6-12

Friend Mend Friendships blossom during early childhood years as kids spend more time around peers and develop close bonds. Disagreements and misunderstandings, however, are

Teens are notoriously moody, but that doesn’t mean that living with one has to be miserable. Though tempers can flare in any home with teens, parents who build open, communicative relationships with their adolescents have a better chance of maintaining a mutually respectful dialogue, says licensed therapist Tamara Reilly of Greensboro. Though teens may resist parental rules, setting and enforcing expectations for behavior can help dial down angry outbursts. Teens who know their parents are reliable people who hold them accountable are more respectful, so communicating consistent expectations around chores, schoolwork, curfews and other responsibilities provides a strong, secure foundation for a respectful home, says Reilly. When parents respond to a teen’s problems with empathy and a genuine desire to understand, teens are more likely to talk things through — and less likely to yell. Malia Jacobson is an award-winning health and parenting journalist, and mom of three.

carolinaparent.com

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› TECH TALK family and spares your child the embarrassment of having baby pictures show up when someone Googles her in the future. 4. Make copying difficult. Save photos with the lowest possible resolution. Not only will the file transmit more quickly, but it will also be blurry if someone tries to enlarge it. Borrow a trick from professional photographers by putting a signature or watermark on your photos. Visualwatermark.com is one of several free services that make it easy to brand digital pictures.

7 Reasons to Be Cautious About Sharing Photos BY CAROLYN JABS

ocial media has become the new back fence — a place where parents can tell stories, swap tips and even brag a bit. A recent survey from the

Pew Research Center found that moms, in particular, give and get lots of encouragement as well as useful parenting information using networks like Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram. Almost all of these efforts involve photos, which would be great if those photos would stay put. Unfortunately, they don’t. Photos of cute kids — especially babies — have been misappropriated by people who use them for their own, sometimes dubious, purposes. Baby role-playing, for example, involves young women who use random photos of children to fantasize about motherhood. By posting pictures and inventing details about babies they don’t now, they attract attention on social media. In other cases, parents have stumbled across familiar photos that have been used in advertising or to create memes — those Internet placards that sometimes take on a life of their own. Think about what impact a post that seems cute today might have on a child in the future. Use these tips for balancing the benefits and risks of photo-sharing on social networks.

1. Use privacy settings. The previously mentioned Pew Research Center report found that parents typically had 150 friends on Facebook. Of those, one third were “actual” friends. Consider sharing photos of children only with those friends. (Most social media sites make it easy to establish different groups within your community.) 2. Share your reshare policy. Even if you’re careful about privacy, photos can escape your network if they are reshared. To discourage resharing, remind friends and family that photos are “for your eyes only.” Explain your concerns and ask that they not post photos of playdates or other outings without your permission. Extend the same courtesy to them. 3. Use a nickname. Instead of using your child’s real name, use a pseudonym so it becomes harder to connect an escaped photo to your

5. Do not post naked pictures. Ever. No matter how cute or innocent they may seem, naked pictures should not be posted online. Even if you don’t attract the attention of a predator or run afoul of obscenity standards on your social network, you risk distributing a picture that will be used to harass your child in the future. 6. Use an alternative album. Some parents use social media as a baby album, keeping track of firsts as they happen. Try making albums on password-protected sites like Flickr or Photobucket. Share passwords only with family members and trusted friends. Back up photo files in the cloud or on a separate hard or flash drive. For photos that really matter, consider making prints or photo books. 7. Be selective. Ruthlessly cull your photos. Review and delete them at least once a week. Only share photos that are special in some way. Post vacation pictures after you return home so people won’t know when your house is unoccupied. Childhood is fleeting and a photo can help you remember these special days. Instead of reflexively reaching for the camera, get in the habit of considering whether a photo will deepen — or interrupt — a special moment with your child. Carolyn Jabs raised three computer-savvy kids, including one with special needs. Visit growing-uponline.com to read more of her columns.

carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2015

›

UNDERSTANDING KIDS

Supporting Emerging Autonomy in Play BY LUCY DANIELS CENTER STAFF

ncluding opportunities for free and open-ended, independent play in your child’s daily routine will enrich her overall social and emotional development. Children

who have opportunities to play freely tend to also develop and refine their abilities to solve problems, to persist through challenging tasks, and to negotiate and compromise, all of which are necessary components for social and academic success in later years.

Why is Play Important? Play is a window into a child’s inner world. In other words, how a child chooses to play reveals something about how he feels about himself and the world. Open-ended play provides children with opportunities to use their minds to imagine, create and use objects symbolically, as well as develop and refine their flexibility and skills in negotiating, compromising and sharing in relationships with others. Play with peers in open-ended ways provides children with opportunities to develop skills needed for all types of relationships, from close friendships to working as a group or team in school or extracurricular activities. When playing successfully with peers, children have to share ideas and listen to others’ ideas, sometimes convincing playmates to follow their lead and other times compromising and following the

SEPTEMBER 2015 |

carolinaparent.com

lead of others. Independent play helps children develop an internal dialogue and ability to focus, which are necessary components that will be helpful one day for independent reading, writing and persisting through challenging academic tasks. Children who become independent players and collaborative playmates often transfer these skills into their school and learning habits.

What Role Do Parents Play? Free play in early childhood is not completely free. Parents and adults play an important role in supervising and overseeing the play by helping children manage frustrations or conflicts that become too big to manage independently. For very young children, this may include stepping in to help with feelings of frustration around the completion of a task

if the feelings have become overwhelming and are not being independently managed; e.g., fitting pieces together or taking something apart. In such moments, parents can step in and provide soothing guidance to help their child through the problem. As children grow older and begin to play more with peers, they benefit from continued parent or adult supervision if a challenging conflict arises. If necessary, adults can step in, as needed, to mediate conflicts and ensure that all parties involved are playing nicely and being treated fairly. Over time, children need parents to step in less often as they gradually become more independent problem solvers and learn how to stand their ground and negotiate (or compromise) on their own. As children develop these skills, parents can gradually move into the background, remaining available, if needed, while also allowing for more freedom. The best time to pull back on play supervision is dependent upon each child’s developmental needs. Some children may depend upon their parents’ support longer than others, and some parents may feel that their presence is still important in case the need for help or intervention arises.

Exceptions to the Rule In some cases, children may have difficulty containing impulses or verbalizing strong feelings around their peers. In these cases, the need for parent or adult supervision may persist well beyond the time that most children need this kind of help. If there is concern about your child’s development in the areas of independent play, impulse control or communication with peers, seeking the guidance of a mental health professional may provide you and your child the support you need to reach his maximum potential and develop his abilities to play (and work) independently and alongside his peers. The Lucy Daniels Center is a nonprofit agency in Cary that promotes the emotional health and well-being of children and families. Visit lucydanielscenter.org to learn more.

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Save the date Carolina Parentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

WOMEN@WORK BREAKFAST

With guest speaker DJ Mitsch Grits to Grace: From Mobile Home to Millionaire Listen to the inspirational story of our keynote speaker, entrepreneur/coach/author DJ Mitsch, founder and president of Pyramid Resource Group and The HealthCare Coaching Institute. DJ will share how she made the choices she made to live her best life, both personally and professionally. If she can do it, you can, too! C A R O L I NA

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Join us at 7:45 a.m. for networking at Coffee & Connections, with exhibitors whose products and services support working women! n

Bring your gently used professional clothing and accessories to donate to Dress for Success of the Triangle. And make a cash donation to the cause! Book signing with DJ after the breakfast.

Tickets, $35 each, are on sale now. Visit carolinaparent.com and search Women@Work for details.

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Morris Media Network

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201 Harrison Oaks Blvd., Cary (Harrison Avenue and I40)

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HAMMERS, NAILS & DIAPER PAILS

Labor of Love BY PATRICK HEMPFING

ast Labor Day, my 9-year-old daughter, Jessie, and I celebrated the holiday by shopping. I like to shop for bargains ... instead I got more than I bargained for. Our trip began at Belk in the mall. I thought we’d be going to the girls’ clothing department, but Jessie wanted to shop in juniors. How could this be? “Jessie, we shop in girls, like we’ve always done.” Oh, how I recall, the 2Ts, 3Ts and cute little dresses. Juniors’ clothing? We bought a top, Jessie’s first juniors purchase. As Jessie tried on all kinds of clothing she had picked off the racks, I stood outside the dressing room adjacent to the bikini display. I couldn’t help but notice that all the bikinis had padded bras. After Jessie’s purchase, she convinced me to shop for myself. “I’ll help, Dad.” I pulled a few pairs of swim trunks, shorts and shirts to try on. Jessie selected a few things for me, too. She stood outside the dressing room while I quickly tried on the items. Up to this point, I had never left Jessie by herself, especially with me in the changing room with my pants down. However, my juniors-wearing girl assured me, “Dad, I’ll be fine.” Jessie gave me her opinion as I modeled each selection for her. Wow, talk about reversing roles! Next, we shopped for shoes. I bought a pair of white sneakers. I like white, but Jessie prefers neon-colored shoes. “Jessie, look at this cute pair of white sneakers with a splash of neon.” No, she selected tennis-ball-yellow sneakers. I almost thought about putting on my sunglasses. The color was one thing, the size another. They were women’s shoes. Juniors’ clothing and women’s shoes. I’m not ready for this. Next, we stopped at the Hallmark store. Jessie bought a mug for the dog to give my wife, Mattie, for Christmas. One

can’t get the dog-Christmas-shopping out of the way too early. Time for lunch, and not a minute too soon. We ate at Sonic Drive-In a few minutes away. Jessie moved to the front seat to eat her meal and drink her slushy. She took her socks off and threw them backwards, peeking to make sure she hadn’t thrown them out the window. She stuck her feet out the sunroof. I smiled as my little girl had returned, if only for a few minutes. Three weeks after our shopping trip, Jessie celebrated her 10th birthday. Weren’t we just concerned about labor pains? It’s hard to believe it’s been 10 years of labor … and love. A few months after the Labor Day shopping excursion, Mattie and Jessie went shopping for bras … for Mattie. Jessie helped Mattie this time. They came home with matching panties, purchased in the intimate apparel section, not girls.

During the drive to school a week later, Jessie asked me to relay a message, “Please tell Mom it’s matching pantie day.” After I dropped Jessie off, I stopped at the donut shop and ordered two glazed donuts, my standard order. I might not be able to share in matching pantie day (and don’t want to), but I can take comfort in matching donuts. Something tells me my future holds a number of “matching donut days.” But that’s okay; I’m sure Jessie will be glad to help me shop for larger pants. Patrick Hempfing had a 20-year career in banking, accounting and auditing before he became a father at age 44. He is now a full-time husband, stay-at-home dad and author of a monthly column titled “moMENts.” Follow Hempfing at facebook. com/patricklhempfing and twitter.com/ patrickhempfing.

carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2015

ZERO-PREP Family Fun

10 ways to make family night a (fun) reality

SEPTEMBER 2015 |

carolinaparent.com

ost Wednesdays my kids eat pancakes for dinner. Why, you ask? 1. No one complains. 2. Pancakes are easy. 3. Wednesday is family night.

One night a week, we put aside chores and activities and have fun together. Apparently we aren’t alone. Families all over the Triangle carry out similar family time traditions. Angeles Vargas of Apex says she and her husband started a family night two years ago. The five Vargas kids range in age from 2 to 14. Sometimes they watch a movie, play basketball or even jam on instruments. “Family night reminds us how much we need each other’s company,” Vargas says. “We need to laugh at the same things and share experiences, which become memories.” J.W. and Melissa Hilliard of Raleigh also share a regular family night with their boys, ages 5 and 8. To accommodate their busy schedules, J.W. says, they keep things low key with pizza and a board game. But there’s a lot more going on under the surface. “Family night communicates our values,” Hilliard says. “We value each other. We value fun. Our lives are so busy. Our schedules would just fill and fill without set-apart family time.” A full schedule is a reality for many families. However, families who regularly take time to make fun memories together see big dividends, says Toqui Kennedy, a psychologist with N.C. Family & Parent Consultants in Raleigh. “Fun is important to creating and sustaining familial bonds,” Kennedy says. “Fun experiences create feelings of connectedness, which is one component to having an emotionally safe environment.” Kennedy adds that regular family time works on several levels. It also creates organic opportunities for face-to-face communication and can be used to set

BY CHRISTA HOGAN

common goals. This is true in our family, as well. Sometimes it’s difficult to talk to the kids about more serious topics, like stranger safety or bullying. Enter family night, where the TV is turned off, friends have gone home and our boys expect interaction with us. We keep the focus on fun, but have found they’re more receptive to a discussion on family night.

Making It Happen Interested in starting your own family time tradition, but not sure how to bridge the gap between reality and your best intentions? One way is to keep things simple. Kennedy recommends brief activities for younger children, like going for ice cream. Older kids and teens can participate in a volunteer project, hike or cook a special dinner. Hilliard says it helps to schedule family night on the calendar. He also advises parents against sweating the details. “Instead of looking for the perfect everything — time, place, activity — just start with a movie or game.” Remember that connection, not perfection, is the goal. If you miss a night, don’t call it quits. Pick up where you left off the next week. Don’t worry if your family night isn’t Facebook-worthy. Do what works best for your clan. And if you start to run out of ideas for family night, ask for your children’s input and follow their lead. Kids are experts on fun. The end result of all this togetherness? “Now the kids are the ones asking, ‘What are we doing for family night?’” Vargas says. “It’s great. You come to value what you invest time in, and we value each other more.”

3. Get puzzled. Bored of board games? Pick a puzzle and complete it as a team.

4. Trace Zentangles. We’ve found Zentangles to be a great activity for those nights when we want to have a talk with the kids. It keeps hands busy and minds alert. No artistic skills necessary. Start with a piece of paper and something to draw with. Trace a series of overlapping shapes (think Venn diagrams). Now design every section with a different pattern or color. Voila! Your own art gallery. If you still don’t get it, search "zentangles’" online for ideas.

5. Play video games. Have a serious gamer in your house? Grab a remote. Kids love teaching parents for a change. There are also plenty of games that encourage physical activity.

6. Include Fido. Unleash the hermit crabs. Use the laser pointer to entertain the cat. Have a guinea pig race. You get the idea.

7. Read a book. Pile up the pillows and put on the pajamas. Read a novel out loud, listen to a digital book recording, or bring home a variety of picture books from the library to share.

8. Create art together. Dig out all of those random, leftover bits from craft and school projects and make something new and unexpected. Let them use … glitter. When it’s time to clean up, everyone chips in. No leaving Mom or Dad holding the trash bag. 9. Go on a scavenger hunt. Write down a list of common items on scraps of paper (either indoors or outdoors). Set a timer. Whoever finds the most items before the buzzer goes off wins. Play as individuals or as teams.

10. Snazz up snack time. Make food

Here are 10 zero-prep ways your family can experience fun together.

1. Plan a family dance party. Create a family playlist and make like “Parenthood’s” Braverman family.

2. Do a time hop. Get out the baby photo albums, laptops and home videos. Kids love to watch themselves and relive memories. Invite

a grandparent to join you with extended family photos. There’s nothing funnier than seeing Uncle Jack’s circa 1970 sideburns.

the main event. Try popcorn with mix-ins, pretzels made from ready-made pizza dough, ice cream sundaes or apple nachos — thin apple slices drizzled with microwaved peanut butter and topped with chocolate chips. Christa Hogan is a local freelance writer and mom to three boys.

carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2015

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The main coworking room has large, bright windows and two large tables where parents work. All photos courtesy of Lis Tyroler Photography.

Work That

WORKS

Creative ways Triangle women are achieving work-life balance

BY ODILE FREDERICKS

Achieving work-life balance is an elusive goal, but working women in the Triangle say that whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s important is feeling happy with their lives. Having a fulfilling career is just as important to many womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s happiness as being mothers. In this three-part series, we step into the lives of Triangle women leading diverse careers who face the challenges of being mothers, achieving personal growth and providing for their families in creative ways. They do not always succeed, but they keep trying, and their lives are beating new paths for generations of mothers to follow.

carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2015

She decided to postpone her efforts to graduate and embrace caring for her child fulltime, even as she continued to work on assignments late at night.

A NEW LEASE ON WORK-LIFE LEFT: Current location of Nido Durham at 902 Broad Street in Durham. ABOVE: Original location of Nido Durham in home of Tiffany Frye.

A CREATIVE SOLUTION On a small neighborhood street in Durham, Tiffany Frye’s house sits amid a garden overflowing with wildflowers and herbs. Here, in her less than 1,200-square-foot home, she envisioned and launched a co-op space where parents could work while their children played. Her venture, dubbed Nido ("nest" in Italian), migrated to a larger space in Durham this year to accommodate more parents and amenities. Frye got the idea to start the co-op when her daughter, Ada, became mobile. “When Ada was 3 months old, I went back to work at my editorial job,” Frye recalls. “I was lucky enough to work at a company that let me work from home exclusively, so I just had to go in for the occasional meetings, and I thought, this was great. I just work from home with my little baby and everything is perfect.” But as her baby grew, life changed. “It got more and more difficult for me to actually get work done and I felt like I was either neglecting work or neglecting Ada, or both,” she says with a laugh. “And it got to be very stressful being pulled in two very extreme directions all of the time.” When Frye was unable to find a co-working space that offered child care, an idea to start her own venture took root, and she became increasingly passionate about seeing it come to fruition. “I found there were a lot more parents trying to do what I was doing than I even realized,” she says. “People trying to do freelance, or they were starting a small business on the side because they wanted to structure their career around their life, rather than their life around their career.” Frye met with SCORE, a nonprofit association of the U.S. Small Business

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Administration offering volunteers who provide business advice to budding entrepreneurs. They coached her through the realities of starting a business, and one night as she stood looking over spreadsheets in her home, she says the realization hit her that she had few financial resources to launch her venture. “How am I going to make this happen?” Frye remembers wondering. “I kind of looked around and ‘well, these two rooms could be for child care, and the living room could be co-working’ and we could just do it here! And then there was just the expense of getting the furniture — which I did all secondhand — and getting some new classroom materials, which I did, and the expenses were minimal. And my husband was on board!” Frye listed the co-op’s opening on social media in 2014, where Lis Tyroler, a young mother in Durham, saw the news and remembers getting “very excited.” “I felt like this was not just something that I needed,” Tyroler recalls. “I felt it was something that society needed. It was almost a revolutionary concept.” Tyroler was also struggling with her life decisions. In the fall of 2013, she had been six credits away from graduating with a master’s degree in social work and had job offers lined up when her baby, Sebastian, was born. Within weeks, she found herself in a rigorous research class while caring for her 3-week old. Her mother was driving in from Greensboro to keep him while she was in class, but it was hard for her to be away from him to get her work done when she was nursing so frequently. “Even when I was in the same room with him, if I was focusing on papers, it felt, like, not right to me,” she says.

Within a couple of months of Tyroler’s joining the co-op, Frye saw Nido’s potential to grow outside her home, and invited Tyroler to sign on as a partner in an expanded venture. The partners leased a 2,000-square foot space at 902 Broad Street in Durham, hired a Montessori-trained teacher and launched their open house on June 14 this year. The new space includes a conference room, a napping room, an art space for adults, a break room and separate rooms for infants and toddlers. Frye and Tyroler also plan to offer yoga for members. From the original group of six parents and nine children who met in Frye’s home, Nido had grown to include 13 parents and 14 children as of June, and more had signed up. Nido offers several levels of memberships, from drop-in to five halfdays per week. With the addition of a teacher, the venture is no longer strictly a co-op, but members continue to watch over each other children in class and offer their unique talents to the venture. Frye and Tyroler believe Nido’s success came from focusing on community rather than taking a top-down management approach. “We did do a lot of membership research to see what our members wanted,” Tyroler says. “People over and over who responded, said (they wanted) ‘The community. This aspect of being involved with my child’s care, with other children’s care, with being connected to other parents, having the community for myself and my child, makes this a really attractive option for me.’ That’s how I felt, too. We have this sort of built-in village that we have created for ourselves and our families, and that was a really nice surprise. Learn more about Nido at nidodurham.com. Odile Fredericks is the web editor for Carolina Parent.

Next Month … How does a single mother, dentist and business owner in Raleigh find time and energy to support her child, herself and her staff? Check out part two of our series to find out.

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TEY Sug

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HELICOPTER

Determinin g style that w the parenting orks best for you BY KATHLEEN M. REILLY

onsider the morning routines of two families: In the Smith household, each child grabs a bagel before running out the door, late, to catch the bus. Halfway down the driveway, one child remembers the science project he worked on by himself the night before, runs back, grabs it and makes it to the bus stop — three blocks over and one block up — by running through his neighbor’s yard, arriving just in time. In the Jones household, the parents wake their kids and double-check their backpacks to make sure the homework they coached their children through the night before is still inside, completed. Then they pile into the car to drive three houses down to wait for the bus. Once the bus reaches the stop, the kids are outside for no more than 20 seconds before they’re off to school. Mrs. Jones reminds herself to call the teachers to see how her kids are progressing in the curriculum. We all fall somewhere on the parenting continuum, which ranges from "helicopter" parenting on one extreme, to "free-range," or permissive, parenting on the other. While these labels may seem off-putting, they are actually quite apt. “These parenting styles in their pure form will both likely result in creating anxious, depressed, low-self-esteem or defiant children, to name a few of the potential problems,” says Leslie Petruk, director of The Stone Center for Counseling and Leadership in Charlotte. So where do you fall? And are there benefits and drawbacks to each?

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Chopper, Chopper The term helicopter parenting first appeared in the 1967 book “Between Parent and Teenager” by Dr. Haim Ginott, and referred to parents who hover over their children like helicopters. Fast forward to 2011 and the behavior became common enough among parents to merit an actual dictionary entry. Although laden with negative connotations, helicopter parenting has its roots in firm logic. After all, today’s kids are exposed to new dangers and situations that weren’t around back in the old days. Social-media bullying, for example, didn’t exist. Without parents’ watchful eyes and helpful input, it’s easy for today’s kids to be overrun by it. Juanyetta Beasley, an Apex mom of a 6-year-old boy, considers herself a helicopter parent. Though she doesn’t hover, she does try to stay aware of her son’s interactions with other children. “He loves other kids, and the first thing he wants to do is hug a person when he sees them. Other children and parents are not always receptive to a lone child approaching their kid in this manner,” Beasley says. She likes to stay close by to redirect her son or smooth any ruffled feathers, and has found a balance between watchful and waiting. In situations involving hardcore helicopter parents, sometimes kids don’t get the chance to develop skills they need to grow into adults. “You’re taking power away from your child,

FREE-RANGE?

in a sense,” says Sharon Dempsey, owner of Integrated Behavioral Health Solutions in Greensboro. “Parents who believe their job is to prevent their child from being upset or hurt are doing their child a great disservice (by) not allowing (him or her) to learn how to resolve conflict,” Petruk says. Instead, empower your child to handle the challenges — then step out of the way. Otherwise, your desire to help can end up backfiring.

Permission Granted On the other end of the continuum is free-range, or permissive, parenting. Free-range parents are more likely to give their child lots of free rein. Charlotte mom Erika Lanning considers herself free-range. “On the playground, I try to let him do his own thing,” she says. “And if I see him getting in a little argument with another kid, I’ll sit back for a little bit and see where it goes instead of trying to jump right in.” Her approach isn’t always appreciated by other, more intense parents. “I’ve had certain parents kind of give me looks, waiting for me to step in,” she says. On the plus side, free-range parenting gives kids an opportunity to make their own choices and handle the consequences. When it’s taken to the extreme, however, it can have unintended drawbacks.

“Children don’t have the cognitive ability to make all of their own decisions and be left to their own devices,” Petruk says. They want to look to you as a parent to help guide them. And if you’re not there or acting indifferent? “This will likely result in a sense of insecurity and abandonment,” she says.

Where’s the Balance? Most of us aren’t so easily defined by either the helicopter or freerange label. That’s because for some parenting tasks — such as teaching children how to behave as guests in others' homes — you might lean toward the helicopter side of things. You wouldn’t, for example, let your child ransack the neighbor’s pantry looking for treats. On the other hand, you might be more inclined to stray toward free-range territory on some school matters, like letting your child deal with the consequences of missing homework. “The middle ground between these two parenting styles is the most effective way to raise healthy, happy children,” Petruk says. Consider taking as objective of an approach as possible. If your parenting style is starting to cause problems for your child, be honest with yourself and consider easing up a bit. Kathleen M. Reilly is a writer and mom in the Triangle. Visit her online at kathleenreilly.com. carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2015

Steer Clear of

Work-Life Burnout! BY ALEIGH ACERNI

f you feel squeezed between work and home responsibilities, you’re not alone. Work-life balance is an elusive achievement for many people. For parents, there’s an added layer of responsibility, logistics, worry and demands on your time. Whether or not you work outside the home, it can be a struggle to balance those must-get-done responsibilities with the activities that make life feel worthwhile. Here’s how to recognize the signs and symptoms of burnout, along with tips for overcoming burnout — and how to avoid it in the first place.

I Take action to create

balance

in your

life

What is Job Burnout? According to the U.S. Library of Medicine, German-American clinical psychologist Herbert Freudenberger coined the phrase “job burnout” in the 1970s. Freudenberger initially used the term to encompass the fatigue and frustration resulting from the severe stress experienced by people working in “helping” professions, like doctors and nurses. Now, the phrase “burnout” is often applied to many other scenarios. Parenting, with its 24/7 “work” schedule, is no exception. “By nature, parenting can set up you up for burnout,” says Charlotte-based therapist Kristen Venit. “We, as parents, put a great deal of pressure on ourselves.”

Signs and Symptoms It’s easy to mistake the signs and symptoms of burnout for plain old exhaustion, a familiar state for most parents. But if your exhaustion accompanies apathy, a short temper and impatience, you could be headed toward burnout, says Mary Ann Hauser, a Winston-Salem-based certified business and executive coach with Action Coach. The Mayo Clinic offers a list of questions to

SEPTEMBER 2015 |

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share? Even if you must stick with the typical 9-to-5 routine, there are ways to juggle those important family times with a demanding schedule. “Coming home for family dinner and then catching up on emails when kids go to bed is often a good option,” Venit adds.

Perk Up Your Life Even if you don’t feel at risk for burnout, there are lots little things you can do — right away — to help perk up your life. “Do something each day that makes you smile, even if it is just for a few minutes,” says Gaye Esser, a Holly Springs-based life coach with Redefine Balance. “If you don’t remember what brings you joy, try different things until you find something that works for you. HERE ARE SOME SUGGESTIONS: • Volunteer for a cause you find worthwhile. • Start a new, interesting hobby.

• Invest in your existing friendships. • Be active: walk, run, do yoga, kickboxing, whatever! • Read.

• Take a bath. • Meditate. • Pray.

Burnout Back Track

“Find what it is that would make you stop for a second, take a breath and really enjoy yourself,” Esser says. “When you’re doing this activity, make sure you stop and enjoy the moment. It may seem selfish at first, but you can still give to others and do things that give back to you.” ask yourself in order to help identify whether you’re suffering from burnout at work, including “Do you lack satisfaction from your achievements?” and “Have your sleep habits or appetite changed?” But Venit points out that there are parent-specific symptoms of burnout, too, which can occur at any time, whether you’re at home or the office. They include: • Feeling irritable and angry for no specific reason. • Guilt or feelings of inadequacy as a parent. • Sadness, hopelessness and helplessness. • Exhaustion and feeling depleted and/or anxious. • Sleeping issues. • Increased use of alcohol and drugs. • Increase in physical ailments and illnesses.

Is Burnout Avoidable? With some mindfulness, yes, you can prevent burnout, especially if you put tactics in place to help maintain a balance between work, home and taking care of yourself. Here are some things to try: Set boundaries. Chances are, your employer doesn’t want you and other employees getting burned out, either. But it’s not always easy for a manager to recognize signs of burnout in an employee until there’s a real problem. So it’s often up to you to initiate a work-life balance conversation. “Juggling parenting and networking responsibilities can be hard, but you are allowed to say no to some things or schedule things when it does not interfere with family time,” says Gaye Esser, a Holly Springs-based

life coach and owner of Redefine Balance. If your employer is resistant to encouraging efforts to create more balance between home and work, it might be time to start the search for a more family-friendly work environment. Look ahead. A little planning can go a long way toward avoiding burnout. “Most of us spend more time and effort on planning one vacation than we do on the other 50 weeks of the year,” Hauser says. “For parents, this is really important.” Planning can help you identify particularly stressful times on the horizon and give you time to work through solutions to the challenges they bring.

Reconsider your schedule. “Flexible work schedules are helpful,” Venit says. If flextime is appealing, have a plan ready to present to your supervisor for how you can make this schedule work. Will you come in to work early so you can leave early to take your kids to ballet class or soccer practice? Would you prefer to work from home one day a week? Can you and a coworker find a way to job

1. Consider meeting with a therapist, counselor or coach to gain perspective and have a place to “check in” so you don’t feel as if you’re flying solo. 2. Focus on managing your stress level. You can’t be good at taking care of your family if you aren’t taking care of yourself. “If exercise, yoga, reading, meditating or even a spa day helps you take care of you, be sure to schedule those things into your calendar first,” Hauser says. 3. Take a breather. “Make sure to take short breaks and breathe,” Esser says. “Just stopping for a few minutes and taking a deep breath or two can really reset your body and your mental focus.”

Don’t assume you’re on your own. “Don’t give in to the superhero mentality,” Hauser says. “When things aren’t going well — or even if they are — don’t be reluctant to delegate because ‘no one does it as well as you do’ or ‘it’s easier if you do it yourself.’” Find your support network and let them help. Find your tribe. “Seek out other parents in your same life stages,” Venit says. Chances are, they’re experiencing many of the same challenges and can offer advice or serve as a sounding board.

If these signs and symptoms sound uncomfortably familiar, take heart. Burnout doesn’t have to be a permanent state of existence. There are several ways to work your way out of the funk:

4. Don’t trap yourself in guilt. “Be forgiving and empathetic of yourself, just as you are to your children,”Venit says. And when things start to feel overwhelming, be deliberate. Get those feelings, worries or to-dos that are nagging at you out by putting them down on paper. “Just getting it out of your head and on to a piece of paper can be so freeing,” Hauser says. “When I personally feel like I have taken on too much or are feeling overwhelmed, I set the alarm clock a little earlier and I meditate.” 5. Cultivate a sense of gratitude. “Gratitude helps attract other good things,” Esser says. “Instead of focusing on the negative things at work, find a few things you like and are grateful for to shift your mindset to a more positive note.” Aleigh Acerni is the mother of a busy toddler and has a busy job, too. Yoga, running, and naps help her feel balanced and sane.

carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2015

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C O M M U N I C AT I N G

Caregiver Jealousy A former nanny shares her advice BY SHANNON CRANE

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or those of us who take care of your children, we often canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t help but fall in love with those under our charge.

carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2015

A strong bond often forms between caregivers and the children in their charge. If you’ve done a good job as a parent in finding us, this is exactly what you want to happen. If we remain unconnected and uncaring, we’re not the kind of help you really want. The problem arises, however, when you start to feel our relationship with your child is threatening to yours. Particularly for new mothers, it can be difficult watching us deftly remedy your baby’s crying or toddler’s outburst. It’s natural to feel jealous. We understand. Even when you intellectually know we can never take your place, seeing your child’s face light up when we arrive or hearing us talk about our fun day can be hard. Knowing “it takes a village to raise a child” is little consolation when you feel replaced. Here is some advice for how to handle these emotions.

Face Your Feelings Child psychologist Leslie BrandenMuller, owner of Chapel Hill Psychology, agrees that seeing one’s child make a loving connection with someone other than oneself can invoke all sorts of insecurities in a parent. Parents wonder, “Am I as good as he/she is? Will my child prefer that person to me? Will my child think of me as important?” Branden-Muller notes these feelings are particularly strong in new mothers or with parents who aren’t able to spend as much time with their children as the hired caregiver. It may be difficult to convince yourself of the primacy of your relationship with your child; however, your influence as a parent extends far beyond the hours you spend with your child. Although feelings of jealousy are normal, no one can take the special place a parent holds in his or her child’s heart and mind.

Share Your Feelings For those of us working as caregivers,

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we are fortunate if you are aware of your feelings or seek out advice. Some of us have lost jobs because our closeness with our charges has elicited uncomfortable feelings from our employers. We can be unaware when this is happening and are sometimes left wondering why we were let go. There is always the other end of the spectrum to consider, as well. Christine Lathren, a Chapel Hill mother of two, says she is more concerned about potential caregivers spending all their time texting or talking on their phone. “I’d prefer having someone with whom my children form a loving and special connection, rather than worry my children aren’t getting enough attention, or that the television is being used as a babysitter.” Caregivers who love their jobs want to be involved on all levels: physically, mentally and emotionally. We welcome the opportunity to be your teammate and not your competitor. We know we could never take your place, nor do we want to. We admire you for having created such a great kid. Our job is to be there for both your children and you. Talking with us about jealous feelings can be difficult, especially if you feel embarrassed or ashamed. However, we can’t address or respond to your concerns if we aren’t provided any feedback. We appreciate specific requests regarding things we can do to work together to address your feelings.

Tips for Preventing Caregiver Jealousy Branden-Muller offers the following suggestions to help parents who might be experiencing caregiver jealousy: Q Give yourself some latitude to feel your feelings without condemning the caregiver or finding a replacement because you can’t tolerate what you are feeling.

Q Be open to a dialogue about the relationship if your caregiver approaches you about it, or consider setting specific guidelines. Q Consider seeking support from your spouse, a friend or a child psychologist if you believe you aren’t doing as good a job of being a parent as you would like. As a caregiver, I’ve discovered the following activities help when I suspect there is “nanny envy.” Q Caretaker and child can do an art project or activity that involves making something special for Mommy and/or Daddy. Q Caretaker and child can sing a song about how Mommy can’t wait to get home to cuddle. Q Caretaker can talk about mommy and daddy throughout the day with comments like “your Mommy/Daddy would be so proud of you right now.” Q Caretaker can make a video or take photos to send to Mommy or Daddy once or twice a day. If there are other activities we can do as caregivers to help make it easier for you, please let us know. We are honored to be a part of your family’s system of care, and are more than willing to modify our behavior to maintain these relationships. We welcome an open, honest dialogue so we can better do the job for which we were hired: making your life easier and providing quality care for your wonderful child. Shannon Crane is a previous nanny and current caregiver living in Chapel Hill, where she is writing her memoir, “5 Months to 95 Years: Discovering the Sacred in Caregiving.” Visit her blog at awakeninginlove.com and her website at sacredcaregiving.com.

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EXCURSION

Photo courtesy of Tweetsie Railroad

Old-Fashioned Amusement at Tweetsie Railroad BY MYRA WRIGHT

s North Carolina’s first theme park, Tweetsie Railroad is a must-visit attraction for families, and fall is an ideal time to visit the Wild-West-themed destination in Blowing Rock. There’s excitement for all ages with rides, games, gem mining and animals. Ride the Rails No trip to Tweetsie is complete without riding the rails alongside cowboys aboard one of the park’s famous steam engines. When the train stops, the live show puts kids on the edge of their seats looking for bandits during the adventure performance. Check the train departure schedule that is posted on Main Street when you arrive to plan your day’s activities around including a train ride. Miner’s Mountain to the Country Fair After fun on the train, ride a bus, walk or take a chair lift up to Miner’s Mountain where you can pan for gold or do a little gem mining. This is also where you’ll find a playground, rides and the Deer Park habitat. Rides include the Tweetsie Twister, a classic scrambler ride; and Mouse Mine Train, a beloved favorite for all ages that takes riders through a mine to see animatronic mice at work. At Deer Park, see a variety of goats, deer, emus, llamas, miniature horses and burros. Buy a bucket or two of animal feed at the kiosk at the entrance to Deer Park for the chance to feed a few of the animals. Check the show times at the Miner’s Mountain Theater for a magic show that will delight the kids. More fun adventure can be found at the Country Fair with an assortment of classic fair rides such as a Ferris wheel, carousel and tilt-a-whirl. Visit the arcade for video games or show off your marksmanship in the shooting gallery. Enjoy typical fair games, such as throwing darts at balloons or knocking down clowns with beanbags. Dining and Shopping There are four options for meals, and something to satisfy all tastes. Cowboy Cantina serves pizza and hot dogs. You’ll find more variety at the Feed and Seed that serves hamburgers, chicken, corn dogs, hot dogs and salads. Carolina barbecue is on the menu at Sparky’s Southwestern

and Barbecue, and there’s more pizza and hot dogs at Miner’s Diner. Several other restaurants and vendors serve snacks, such as popcorn, nachos and fudge, and are scattered throughout the park. No trip to Tweetsie is complete without a souvenir. Shop for some western wear, toy or other souvenir at the Western Mercantile, The Company, General Store and — every child’s favorite — Happy Trails Toy Shop. Special Events and Ghost Train Tweetsie is known for its popular special events, such as a visit from Thomas the Tank Engine each spring. Up next for fall is its popular Ghost Train Halloween Festival. This spooky event occurs Friday and Saturday nights Sept. 25Oct. 31 from 7:30 to 11:30 p.m. The Ghost Train takes brave riders on a frightful three-mile journey. After the train ride, take a stroll through the Freaky Forest where you’ll encounter dark surprises. Visit the Boneyard to try and find your way through a 3-D Maze, a disorienting Black Hole and a mystifying Warp Tunnel. Also, don’t miss Tweetsie’s Haunted House with 13 frightening rooms. The Ghost Train, Freaky Forest and Haunted House are not recommended for kids under age 8, but the event does have fun in store for all ages including a black-light show at the Haunted Palace Saloon or a dance party on Tweetsie’s Main Street. Kids can take a spin on the amusement rides at the Creepy Carnival, and enjoy trick-or-treating throughout the park. Costumes are encouraged. Tickets are $34 for this special event. Ordering advance tickets online at tweetsie.com is strongly recommended. Tweetsie Railroad is open Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays through Nov. 1, 9 a.m.-6 p.m. The park is also open Labor Day, Sept. 7. Regular daytime admission tickets are $41 for adults and $27 for ages 3-12. Kids ages 2 and younger are free. Visit the park after 3 p.m., and you can also visit the next day for free, excluding special events like Ghost Train.

carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2015

We Believe IN COMMUNITY IN THE POWER OF A SMILE

IN HEALING

PEOPLE MAKE US WHO WE ARE

IN GIVING OUR BEST And we believe that these things should be as important to you as they are to our patients.

Rex is honored to have been recognized for 16 consecutive years as one of the Top 50 Family-Friendly North Carolina Companies by Carolina Parent magazine. Outstanding career opportunities available at Rex Heathcare!

If your beliefs reflect ours, nowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your chance to join a team that has always been chosen for excellence. Visit rexhealth.com to apply. EOE 38

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September OUR PICKS

Raleigh At-Home Dads Convention Stay-at-home dads, unite! The 20th Annual At-Home Dads Convention takes place Sept. 26-27 at Marbles Kids Museum in Raleigh. The event showcases workshops, networking, CPR certification, menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s health sessions, social activities and more for fathers raising their children at home. Tickets are $55-$150. Register online at athomedad.org/convention.

Photo courtesy of Gary Knight

Fall Harvest Celebration at Yates Mill County Park Corn-grinding tours of historic Yates Mill, costumed interpreters, a kidsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; scavenger hunt, games and live performances highlight the 10th annual Fall Harvest Celebration Sept. 19, 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Community displays, antique vehicle and tool displays, and food vendors round out the fun. Admission is free. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill/pages/fallharvest.aspx.

Dirty Dogs Extravaganza Dirty Dogs Spa & Boutique hosts its annual Dirty Dogs Extravaganza Sept. 26-27, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. each day, at The Factory in Wake Forest. Take Fido and the family to enjoy contests, pet grooming, microchipping clinics, K-9 demonstrations, vendors, games for pets and kids, food trucks and more. Admission is free. Take a bag of cat or dog food for local rescue organizations. dirtydogsspa.com.

Photo courtesy of UniWolf Photography carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2015

1 TUESDAY Pop-In Playtime Club. Pump It Up of Raleigh, 10700 World Trade Blvd., Raleigh. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. $8/child, $6/sibling. 919-828-3344. Drop-in inflatable play. Wear socks. Free for adults. pumpitupparty.com/raleigh-nc.

2 WEDNESDAY

Nature Stories: Crowing for Joy. Blue Jay Point County Park, 3200 Pleasant Union Church Rd., Raleigh. 10-11 a.m. $4. 919870-4330. Learn about crows. Ages 3-5 with parent. wakegov.com/parks/bluejay.

3 THURSDAY

North Raleigh School of Music Block Party. North Raleigh School of Music, 8360 Six Forks Rd., Ste. 203, Raleigh. 6-8 p.m. FREE. Take the family for a bluegrass band, food, door prizes and an instrument petting zoo. Register online or by emailing info@ northraleighschoolofmusic.com. facebook. com/events/535411579945073. Wee Walkers: Crawling Critters. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 10-11 a.m. $8/resident, $10/nonresident. 919-387-5980. Children discover the shapes, textures, sounds and smells of nature. Ages 1 and older with parent. Registration required. townofcary. org.

4 FRIDAY

Geocaching 101. Harris Lake County Park, 2112 County Park Dr., New Hill. 3-4:30 p.m. $5/family. 919-387-4342. Learn about geocaching and search for some geocaches in the park. Ages 6 and older. Meet at the Cypress Shelter. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/harrislake. Kids Fun-Days: Six-legged Friends. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 1-3 p.m. $12/ resident, $16/nonresident. 919-387-5980. Children hike, make projects and engage in nature activities. Ages 5-8. Registration required. townofcary.org. Little Historians: “The Little Red Hen.” Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake

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Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 11 a.m.-noon. $4/ child. 919-856-6675. Read the story and learn where wheat, milk and eggs come from. Visit the old mill and make a craft to take home. Ages 5-7. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill.

5 SATURDAY

Family Wildlife Series: Calling All Crows. Blue Jay Point County Park, 3200 Pleasant Union Church Rd., Raleigh. 2-3:30 p.m. $5/ family. 919-870-4330. Learn about crows, ravens, blue jays and more. Ages 5 and older. wakegov.com/parks/bluejay. Nature Stories: Crowing for Joy. Blue Jay Point County Park, 3200 Pleasant Union Church Rd., Raleigh. 10-11 a.m. $4. 919870-4330. Learn about crows. Ages 3-5 with parent. Registration required. wakegov.com/ parks/bluejay.

6 SUNDAY

Pop-In Playtime Club. See Sept. 1.

7 MONDAY

A Side of History: Labor Saving Devices. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 1-2 p.m. FREE. 919856-6675. Explore the simple machines that are used in the mill. Ages 6 and older. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/ yatesmill.

8 TUESDAY

Nature Peekers: I Love Spiders. Blue Jay Point County Park, 3200 Pleasant Union Church Rd., Raleigh. 10:30-11 a.m. $2/child. 919-870-4330. Read “I Love Spiders” by John Parker, sing a spider song and pretend to be a spider before taking a short walk to mist spider webs and to see who’s home. Ages 18 mos.-3 yrs. with parent. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/bluejay.

9 WEDNESDAY

Pop-In Playtime Club. See Sept. 1.

10 THURSDAY

Art/Painting Event. Cheers N Paint, 107 Edinburgh S. Dr., Cary. 10 a.m.-noon. $20/

carolinaparent.com

person. Registration required. 919-9035223. Kids create art. Moms welcome. cheersnpaint.com. Farmhouse Jams: Big Time Band. Wendell Falls Farmhouse, 320 Vintage Point Ln., Wendell. 5:30-8:30 p.m. FREE. 888794-0402. Enjoy a family-friendly concert featuring Big Time Band. Kid Creations: Cardboard Tube Gnomes. Holly Springs Cultural Center, 300 W. Ballentine St., Holly Springs. 10-10:30 a.m. $2/resident, $3/nonresident. 919-5674000. Kids ages 3-5 and caregiver make a craft together. Registration required. hollyspringsnc.us. “The Legend of Zelda: Symphony of the Goddesses.” Durham Performing Arts Center, 123 Vivian St., Durham. 8 p.m. $61-$89. Relive favorite moments from “The Legend of Zelda,” the now 28-year-old series, in a performance that features new music and visuals. ticketmaster.com.

11 FRIDAY

Durham Mocha Moms Support Group. Grey Stone Church, 2601 Hillsborough Rd., Durham. 10 a.m.-noon. FREE. Take part in a support group for mothers of color and mothers raising children of color. Children welcome. durhammochamoms.wix.com/ durham-mocha-moms. Night Out in Nature. Stevens Nature Center/ Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Raleigh. 6-9 p.m. 919-387-5980. Kids spend a night out in nature making memories and new friends in an old-fashioned, camp-style program. Ages 8-12. Registration required. townofcary.org. Sunset Campfire. Harris Lake County Park, 2112 County Park Dr., New Hill. 7-8:30 p.m. $5/family. 919-387-4342. Learn how to build a fire and enjoy singing and roasting marshmallows. Take a chair and water bottle. All ages. Meet at the Cypress Shelter. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/harrislake.

12 SATURDAY

Beginning Fishing Clinic. Harris Lake County Park, 2112 County Park Dr., New Hill. 9-11 a.m. $8/child.

919-387-4342. Children gain the skills needed for a lifetime of fishing enjoyment. Learn angler safety and courtesy, how to rig a line and tie knots, local fish ID and pond food chain dynamics. This one-hour clinic will be followed by one hour of fishing. Ages 7-15. Registration required. Meet at the fishing pond. Parents may drop off or remain with their children during the program. wakegov.com/parks/harrislake. Cary Scavenger Hunt. Page-Walker Arts & History Center, 119 Ambassador Loop, Cary. 9 a.m.3 p.m. $50/team. 919-244-6463. Learn what makes Cary a great place to live, work and play all in a team-bonding day. Enjoy a party at the finish with food, entertainment and free raffle drawings. All ages. Register online. caryscavengerhunt.com. Chatham County Alzheimer’s Walk and 5k. Gallowayridge at Fearrington, 3000 Galloway Ridge, Pittsboro. 8:00 a.m. $30/ person for the 5k. Take part in a 5k run or walk at 8:30 a.m., or a free kid’s fun run at 8 a.m. Enjoy food trucks, live music and more after the race. Register online at gallowayridge.com/annual-chathamcounty-alzheimers-walk-and-5k-run. Curiosity Club: Gardening for Kids. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 2-4 p.m. $12/ resident, $16/nonresident. 919-387-5980. Children embrace science and nature while developing skills and knowledge about the natural world. Ages 5-8. Registration required. townofcary.org. Family Rhythm Jam. Music Explorium, 5314 Hwy. 55, Ste. 107, Durham. 10-11 a.m. $10/ family. 919-219-2371. Drumming and stories for ages 3 and older with parent. Drums to loan. musicexplorium.com. FARE Walk for Food Allergies. Koka Booth Amphitheatre, 8003 Regency Pkwy., Cary. 9 a.m.-noon. FREE. 919-323-9751. Take part in a family-friendly walk to raise funds and awareness for food allergy research, education, advocacy and awareness. Register online. foodallergywalk.org. Nature Nuts: Caterpillars. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm

Rd., Cary. 10-11 a.m. $10/resident, $13/ nonresident. 919-387-5980. Go nutty for nature as children satisfy some of their curiosity about the world around them and parents share in the joy of discovery. Ages 3-5 with parent. Registration required. townofcary.org. Teen Beach Party. DanceArt Studio, 82 DanceArt Dr., Garner. 6-7:30 p.m. $20/person. 919-550-6556. Dance along with music from “Teen Beach 2,” learn choreography from the movie and take home a memory keepsake. Ages 6-13. Registration required. danceartinc.com.

13 SUNDAY

Lerner School Apples and Honey 5k. Fan Branch Trail at Southern Community Park, 1000 Sumac Rd., Chapel Hill. 8:00 a.m. $25 ages 12 and older, $20 ages 11 and younger. 919-286-5517. Runners and walkers of all ages take part in a 5k event to encourage healthy living. Register online. sportoften.com/event/23390/lerner-schoolapples---honey-5k. Wagon Rides for Grandparents and Grandkids. Harris Lake County Park, 2112 County Park Dr., New Hill. FREE. 919-3874342. Grandparents and grandkids take a wagon ride along the back roads of the park. All ages. Meet at the wagon near the playground. Registration required. Rides depart at 1 and 2 p.m. wakegov.com/parks/ harrislake.

14 MONDAY

Tiny Tots: ABC’s in Nature. Crowder District Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 10:30-11 a.m. $2/child. 919-662-2850. Toddlers develop fine motor skills through games and handson activities. Go on a scavenger hunt and play a letter game. 18 mos.-3 yrs. with adult. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/ crowder.

15 TUESDAY

Sport Horse National Show. James B. Hunt Horse Complex, 1025 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh. See Arabian and Half-Arabian horses compete in jumper, dressage, hunter, English disciplines and more. All ages. See website

for fees and hours. arabianhorses.org/ competitions/nationalevents.

16 WEDNESDAY

Sport Horse National Show. See Sept. 15.

17 THURSDAY

Open Studio Painting on Canvas. Cheers N Paint, 107 Edinburgh S. Dr., Cary. 10-11:30 a.m. $20/person. Registration required. 919903-5223. Kids create art. Moms welcome. cheersnpaint.com. Sport Horse National Show. See Sept. 15.

Ballet ~ Modern ~ Jazz ~ Hip Hop World Renowned Ballet Master Miquel Campaneria Youth America Grand Prix (YAGP) Outstanding Teacher Award 2012 & 2013

Exceptional Faculty Encouraging Fun While Building Technique and Artistry

18 FRIDAY

Good 2 Grow Kids Consignment Sale. Wake County Shrine Club, 6015 Lead Mine Rd., Raleigh. FREE. Shop for kids clothing, maternity clothing, shoes, toys, baby equipment and more. See website for hours. good2growkids.com. “The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.” Red Hat Amphitheatre, 500 S. McDowell St., Raleigh. 7:30 p.m. $25 and up. See the award-winning film on a large screen while the N.C. Symphony, N.C. Master Chorale and The Raleigh Boychoir bring the music of Middle-earth to life. Purchase tickets online. redhatamphitheater.com. Sport Horse National Show. See Sept. 15.

19 SATURDAY

10th Annual Eastern Triangle Farm Tour. Triangle area farms. 1-5 p.m. Meet local farmers, see baby animals, enjoy a hayride and taste local foods on a self-driving tour of 26 area farms. See website for a map and to purchase tickets. $30/vehicle in advance, $35/vehicle on day of tour. carolinafarmstewards.org/etft. “Escape to Freedom.” Mordecai Historic Park, 1 Mimosa St., Raleigh. $15. Take a guided tour through Mordecai Historic Park to experience plantation life through the eyes of an enslaved person. One-hour performances begin at 5 p.m., 6 p.m., 7:15 p.m., and 8:30

~ OPEN ENROLLMENT ~ CampaneriaBalletSchool.com 919.446.5330

Chapel Hill Pediatrics

&Adolescents

Open DAILY, including weekends and holidays

WE WELCOME Dr. Shruti Nagaraj, M.D. to our practice

"Walk-in availability" for established patients: Monday – Friday 7:15-7:50am & Sat/Sun 9am-2pm • Care from birth through college • Complimentary "meet and greet" sessions • International adoption care • Convenient parking • Same-day appointments • Comprehenisive sports & camp physicals TWO locations welcome NEW and established patients 205 Sage Rd., Suite 100 Chapel Hill, NC 27514

919-942-4173 249 East NC Hwy 54, Suite 230 Durham, NC 27713

www.chapelhillpeds.com carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2015

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CALENDAR

daily

SEPTEMBER FESTIVALS AFRICAN-AMERICAN CULTURAL FESTIVAL Sep 5-6 – Enjoy African-American culture and history with an art gallery walk, vendors,

CREEDMOOR MUSIC FESTIVAL Sept. 19 – Celebrate music in Creedmoor with vendors, kids’ activities, a car show and

kids’ activities, food and more. Free. See website for hours. Fayetteville St., Downtown Raleigh. aacfestival.org.

more. Free. 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m. Main St., Creedmoor. cityofcreedmoor/org/musicfestival.

TAR HEEL DOWNTOWN Sept. 11 – Celebrate with the Tar Heels in downtown Chapel Hill the night before

BUGFEST Sept. 19 – Exhibits, presentations and dishes feature bugs as the main ingredient. Enjoy a

UNC-CH’s opening game day. Enjoy a pep rally-style atmosphere featuring an outdoor concert, interactive games for kids, face painting and Rameses, the Tar Heel mascot. Free. 6-9 p.m. Downtown Chapel Hill. tarheeldowntown.com.

beekeeping workshop and more inside and outside the museum, and an evening Insectival featuring live music, street performers, food and more on Bicentennial Plaza from 5-7 p.m. Free. 9 a.m.-7 p.m. Museum of Natural Sciences, 11 W. Jones St., Raleigh. 919-733-7450. bugfest.org.

GREEK FESTIVAL Sept. 11-13 – Celebrate Greek culture with authentic food, music and dance

INTERNATIONAL FOOD AND MUSIC FESTIVAL Sept. 19 – This culinary festival features ethnic food, live entertainment, games, raffle and

performances, crafts and much more. $3 adults, $2 ages 13-18. Free for ages 12 and younger. See website for hours. North Carolina State Fairgrounds, Exposition Center, 1025 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh. greekfestivalraleigh.com.

a silent auction. Free. 11 a.m-6 p.m. J. Ashley Wall Towne Square, W. Third St. and W. Cypress St., Wendell. thefoodfestival.com.

TAR RIVER FESTIVAL Sept. 12 – Take the family for inflatables, games, pony rides, live entertainment, food and

CLAYTON HARVEST AND MUSIC FESTIVAL Sept. 19 – Celebrate music and the fall season with vendors, live entertainment and more.

crafts. Free. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Downtown Louisburg. 919-496-3056. franklin-chamber.org.

Free. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Downtown Clayton. business.claytonchamber.com/events/details/2015clayton-harvest-and-music-festival-1334.

HARVEST AND HORNWORM FESTIVAL Sept. 12 – Enjoy cultural demonstrations, kids activities, a Moon Pie eating contest,

AKC RESPONSIBLE DOG OWNERSHIP DAY Sept. 19 – A day celebrating dogs offers dog demonstrations, rare breeds, microchipping,

hornworm race and more. Free. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Duke Homestead, 2828 Duke Homestead Rd., Durham. dukehomestead.org/events.php.

kids’ activities and more. Dogs welcome. Free. 10 a.m.-3 p.m. N.C. State Fairgrounds, Holshouser Bldg., 1025 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh. akc.org/responsible.

SPARKCON Sept. 17-20 – Enjoy creative expressions in dance, graphic design, art, jewelry, film,

OKTOBERFEST AT LAFAYETTE VILLAGE Sept. 19 – Take the family for a German-inspired event featuring food, live music, face

comedy and more. The event features food trucks and live entertainment including acrobatics, hoops and fire dances. Free. See website for hours. Downtown Raleigh. sparkcon.com.

painting, train rides and more. Watch wiener dogs race at noon. Free. 11 a.m.- 5 p.m. Lafayette Village, 8450 Honeycutt Rd., Raleigh. lafayettevillageraleigh.com.

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CENTERFEST ARTS FESTIVAL Sept. 19-20 – Outdoor arts festival showcases more than 140 visual artists, food, live entertainment and educational activities for all ages. Suggested $5 donation. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Downtown Durham. centerfest.durhamarts.org.

RAY PRICE BIKEFEST Sept. 25-27 – Celebrate the motorcycle lifestyle with family-friendly activities ranging from stunt shows and specialty rides to live music and local vendors. Free. See website for hours. Fayetteville St., Downtown Raleigh. capitalcitybikefest.com.

CARRBORO MUSIC FESTIVAL Sept. 26-27– Take the family for live music, crafts and food. Free. See website for hours. Carrboro Town Hall, 301 W. Main St., Carrboro. carrboromusicfestival.com.

YOUNGSVILLE FALL FESTIVAL Sept. 26 – Enjoy a craft show, food vendors, kids’ activities and a car show. Free. 9 a.m. -5 p.m. 125 U.S. 1-A, Youngsville. youngsvillefallfestival.com.

STORYTELLING FESTIVAL Sept. 26 – Storytellers Rebecca Tighe, Suzi Whaples and The Healing Force weave tales for families. Enjoy live music from the Sandbox Band. Take a chair or blanket. Free. 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Historic Oak View County Park, 4028 Carya Dr., Raleigh. 919-250-1013. wakegov.com/libraries/events/pages/storytelling.aspx.

ART IN THE PARK Sept. 27 – Take the family for an outdoor art show. Explore local arts and crafts, and enjoy local musicians. Rain date is Oct. 4. Free. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Fearrington Village, Hwy. 15/501, Pittsboro. fearringtonartists.org.

carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2015

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CALENDAR

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EXHIBITS STARRING NORTH CAROLINA! Through Sept. 6 See costumes and props from “Iron Man 3,” “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” “Bull Durham” and more that showcase North Carolina's continuing presence in the film industry for more than 100 years. $10 adults, 6 ages 7-17 and free for ages 6 and younger. North Carolina Museum of History, 5 E. Edenton St., Raleigh. 919-807-7900. ncmuseumofhistory.org.

RURAL REVIVAL: PHOTOGRAPHS OF HOME AND PRESERVATION OF PLACE Through Sept. 27 Scott Garlock’s exhibit features 46 haunting images of abandoned historic buildings in eastern and northeastern North Carolina. These landmarks of communities long ago serve as storehouses of memories. As vines and underbrush invade these structures, neglect and encroaching development hasten their demise – and the need for preservation. Free. North Carolina Museum of History, 5 E. Edenton St., Raleigh. 919-807-7900. ncmuseumofhistory.org.

SAVING OUR POLLINATORS Through Oct. 3 This exhibit features displays, workshops, tours, discussions and classes that illustrate challenges and offer solutions to secure a stable future for pollinators, a group that includes bees, flies, butterflies, moths and birds. "Saving Our Pollinators" focuses on the importance of pollinators to worldwide ecosystem health, including human nutrition and global food security. About 80 percent of all flowering plants and one in three bites of food rely on pollinators. Visit the ncbg.unc.edu for a schedule of events related to this exhibit. Free. North Carolina Botanical Garden, 100 Old Mason Farm Rd., Chapel Hill. 919-962-0522.

HEY AMERICA!: EASTERN NORTH CAROLINA AND THE BIRTH OF FUNK Through Feb. 28, 2016 A new genre of American music, called funk, emerged during the 1960s. Musical genius Nathaniel “Nat” Jones of Kinston and other African-American musical pioneers from eastern North Carolina helped to create funk when they joined up with James Brown in 1964. They helped transform Brown into the icon known worldwide as the “Godfather of Funk Music.” The exhibit case features seven items, including musical instruments, a green jumpsuit and dress shoes that are associated with Brown and the musicians who worked with him. Free. North Carolina Museum of History, 5 E. Edenton St., Raleigh. 919-807-7900. ncmuseumofhistory.org

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p.m. Ages 12 and older. Purchase tickets online. Event held rain or shine. reclink.raleighnc.gov. Good 2 Grow Kids Consignment Sale. See Sept. 18. Kids Everywear Consignment Sale. Morrisville Outlet Mall, 1001 Airport Blvd., Morrisville. FREE. Shop for clothing, equipment toys and more. See website for hours. kidseverywear.com. Little Sprouts: Flutterby Butterfly. N.C. Botanical Garden, 100 Old Mason Farm Rd., Chapel Hill. 10-11 a.m. $8/member, $10/nonmember. 919-962-0522. Parent and child play games, enjoy hikes and crafts and listen to stories. Ages 3-5. Registration required. ncbg.unc.edu. “The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.” See Sept. 18. Race for Our Heroes 5k. Amberly subdivision, 1075 Residents Club Dr., Cary. 9-11 a.m. Take part in a 5k to raise money for Operation Coming Home, an organization that builds homes to honor the sacrifices of our nation’s military heroes. $5-$30. Register online. https://runsignup.com/ Register/?raceId=19146. Sport Horse National Show. See Sept. 15. Together Walk For Inclusiveness. Kids Together, 111 Thurston Dr., Cary. 10-11:30 a.m. $15/family. Celebrate all-inclusiveness in a 1.4-mile round-trip walk through Kids Together playground and beyond. Enjoy refreshments, games, decorating station and a raffle. Wheelchairs and strollers welcome. kidstogethercary.org. Twilight Walk. Wilkerson Nature Preserve, 11408 Raven Ridge Rd., Raleigh. 6:30-8:30 p.m. $2/person ages 4 and older. 919-996-6764. Take a walk with a park naturalist to discover which animals are active at sunset. All ages. Register online. reclink.raleighnc.gov. Walk to End Alzheimer’s. Durham Bulls Athletic Park, 409 Blackwell St., Durham. 10:45 a.m-noon. Take part in a 2-mile walk to raise awareness in the fight against Alzheimer’s. Donations accepted. Register online. act. alz.org.

20 SUNDAY

10th Annual Eastern Triangle Farm Tour. See Sept. 19. Animal Blessing Service. Millbrook Baptist Church, 1519 E. Millbrook Rd., Raleigh. 4:30 p.m. FREE. 919-876-1519. Following a brief service, animals in attendance will be offered an individual blessing. Animals of all types are welcome provided they are on a leash, have current vaccinations as required by law and have no communicable diseases. Parking is available for horse trailers. Those who have lost a pet may bring a collar, toy, photo or other reminder for a blessing of memories. Rain date is Sept. 27. millbrookbaptistchurch.org.

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Good 2 Grow Kids Consignment Sale. See Sept. 18. Kids Everywear Consignment Sale. See Sept. 19.

21 MONDAY

caregiver learn about beavers and also enjoy a story and craft. Register online. reclink.raleighnc.gov.

22 TUESDAY

Kid Creations: Paper Plate Crowns.

Pop-In Playtime Club. See Sept. 1.

24 THURSDAY

Curious Creatures: Snakes and Lizards. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Raleigh. 10 a.m.-noon. $12/resident, $16/nonresident. 919-3875980. Discover wildlife, their habits and their habitats through hikes, activities and crafts. Ages 5-8. Registration required. townofcary.org. Perfect Storm Workshop. Trinity Life Center, 5160 Sunset Lake Rd., Ste. 109, Holly Springs. 6:30-8 p.m. FREE. 919-762-1978. Take part in a workshop that explores the true causes of neurodevelopmental disorders such as autism, ADHD, seizures and sensory integration disorder, with a specific emphasis on the role of the brain and central nervous system. trinity-life-center.

25 FRIDAY

Action Figure Drawing. Holly Springs Cultural Center, 300 W. Ballentine St., Holly Springs. 10-10:30 a.m. $2/resident, $3/nonresident. 919-567-4000. Kids ages 8-12 learn about drawing tools and how they are used to create an action figure. Registration required. hollyspringsnc.us. carolinaparent.com

$3/child. 919-996-6764. Preschoolers and

Crowder by Night: Twilight Critters.

23 WEDNESDAY

SEPTEMBER 2015 |

Raven Ridge Rd., Raleigh. 12:45-2:15 p.m.

Home School Day: Historic Trades. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 10 a.m.-noon. $10/child. 919856-6675. Experience the life and times of historic trades people and try some projects of your own. Ages 6 and older. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/yatesmill. Kids Everywear Consignment Sale. See Sept. 19.

Pop-In Playtime Club. See Sept. 1.

Beaver Pond. Wilkerson Nature Preserve, 11408

Crowder District Park, 4709 Ten-Ten Rd., Apex. 7:30-8:30 p.m. $5/family. 919-662-2850. Learn about crepuscular wildlife through games, crafts and hands-on discovery. All ages. wakegov. com/parks/crowder. Durham Mocha Moms Support Group. See Sept. 11. See Sept. 10.

26 SATURDAY

8th Annual Panther Creek Invitational. Panther Creek High School, 6770 McCrimmon Pkwy., Cary. 4 p.m. $10 adults, $5 ages 4-10. Free for ages 4 and younger. See 12 high school marching bands compete for trophies. Gates open at 2 p.m. panthercreekband.org. Beaver Pond. See Sept. 25. 10:30 a.m.-noon. Kids Art Activity. Southern Home Crafts, 111 N. Salem St., Apex. Kids ages 4 and older enjoy an art activity and twisted balloons. 4-6 p.m. FREE. 919-233-1598. Paddle the Pond. Historic Yates Mill County Park, 4620 Lake Wheeler Rd., Raleigh. 11 a.m.-noon. $10/boat. 919-856-6675. After basic instruction, explore the pondâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s many features by canoe. Canoes, paddles and life jackets provided. Ages 5 and older with adult. Registration required. wakegov.com/parks/ yatesmill. Pedal for Peds Bike Ride. UNC Wellness Center, 350 Stonecroft Ln., Cary. 8 a.m.-noon. See website for fees. Take part in a stationary bike marathon with instructors or a bike ride (5-49 mile round trip) on American Tobacco Trail. Yoga sessions, snacks, family-friendly activities and a silent auction round out the fun. Proceeds benefit patient care, research and education for the Division of Pediatric Hematology Oncology at UNC-Chapel Hill. Register online at pedalforpeds.kintera.org.

29 TUESDAY

Music and Movement Class. Millbrook Baptist Preschool, 1519 E. Millbrook Rd., Raleigh. 9:30 a.m.-noon. 919876-4030. Ages 1-5 enjoy music and movement. Explore Orff and percussion instruments. Call to register. millbrookbaptistpreschool.org. Open Bounce. BounceU, 3419 Apex Peakway Apex. Noon-2 p.m., 2-4 p.m. or 4-6 p.m. $8/child. 919-303-3368. Enjoy inflatables, games and more. Take socks. All ages. Register online. bounceu.com.

29 WEDNESDAY

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Tremendous Trees. Lake Crabtree County Park, 1400 Aviation Pkwy., Morrisville. 9-11 a.m. FREE. 919-460-3355. Learn about trees and how to identify them, and take a hike to practice tree ID skills. Registration required. wakegov/parks. lakecrabtree.

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28 MONDAY

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Junior Naturalist: Searching for Snakes. Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs, 2616 Kildaire Farm Rd., Cary. 2-3 p.m. $8/resident, $10/nonresident. 919-3875980. Participants develop their naturalist skills and understanding of local nature. Ages 5-8 with parent. Registration required. townofcary.org. Rotary District 7710 GlobalRun4Water. WakeMed Soccer Park, 201 Soccer Park Dr., Cary. 4-6:30 p.m. $10-$30. Take part in a 5k race. All ages. Register online. fitandable. net/event/globalrun4water. Total Lunar Eclipse Star Gaze. Wilkerson Nature Preserve, 11408 Raven Ridge Rd., Raleigh. 7:30-10:30 p.m. FREE. 919-996-6764. Join members of the Raleigh Astronomy Club for a close-up look at the moon and more using telescopes. All ages. Register online. reclink. raleighnc.gov.

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Pop-In Playtime Club. See Sept. 1.

30 THURSDAY

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CALENDAR POLICY The Carolina Parent calendar lists local and regional activities for children and families. To submit an event for consideration, visit carolinaparent.com by the 8th of the month for the next month's issue. Readers, please call ahead to confirm dates and times. This calendar may include some events not intended for young children.

Your Ad. This space. Next Month. advertising@carolinaparent.com

carolinaparent.com | SEPTEMBER 2015

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faces places &

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Kimani, 9 months, enjoys Letterland Day 2015 at Pullen Park in Raleigh.

Christopher, 19 months, gets ready to splash into Lake Johnson in Raleigh.

Caroline, 13, of Clayton, explores a lobster exhibit at the North Carolina Aquarium in Pine Knolls.

Metta and Grant, both 7 and of Raleigh, ran with Team Falkner this summer in the Race for the Cure.

Submit high-resolution photos of your kids having fun. Go to carolinaparent.com/ facesandplaces. You could even win a prize!

CONGRATULATIONS to our August winner, Michaela, of Raleigh.

Carly, 10, and Cassie, 8, get crafty at Artsplosure in Raleigh.

SEPTEMBER 2015 |

carolinaparent.com

Connor, 6, of Wake Forest, patiently waits for the frog on his head to catch a fly.

SEPTEMBER 2015 |

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carolinaparent.com

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