10 minute read
Don’t Be Stupid, Cupid
KIM MURDOCH LOL! Don’t Be
Stupid, Cupid!
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Happy Valentine’s Day! Or, as my husband likes to call it, “Happy Oh, Were We Supposed To Get Each Other Something?” Day. I know that one of the things that we teach our children is that it’s the thought that counts, right? Of course that’s what we teach them! They don’t have an income! They can’t drive to the store. They don’t have any CHOICE but to give us homemade gifts or half-eaten leftover Christmas candy canes for Valentine’s Day! You MEN on the other hand…
One way to really set the tone for a great year with your sweetie is to get Valentine’s Day right! See, right about February when the weather is dreary, our post-Christmas letdown has set in, our New Year’s diets have gone by the wayside and the new season of Survivor hasn’t started yet, the only thing we ladies have to look forward to is Valentine’s Day; the one day when our fella can prove his love for us by taking some time out of his busy schedule to purchase a little trinket of his affection. (Unless, of course, your gal is a working gal, then you’d better up the ante. If she is, you can bet your sweet bippy that the next day is like the first day of school after Christmas vacation: “And what did YOU get, Susie?” The ratio of the greatness of someone else’s gift compared to HERS is directly related to the ratio of you receiving homecooked dinners or PB&J’s for the next month.)
But, for most of us, it doesn’t cost much to make a girl happy. Times are hard. We ladies know that. But for crying out loud guys…make an effort.
Women are SUCKERS for EFFORT. Let us think that there is a smidgen of planning on your part for Valentine’s Day. A little dough-re-me and quick stop into Hallmark, a flower shop, heck, even the candy aisle in Walmart (the BIG heart-shaped box of chocolates, boys … not the kiddie one) on the way home Valentine’s Eve will most assuredly put a smile on her face Valentine’s morning and avoid THIS conversation later in the day over the clatter of stomping feet and slamming cabinets:
“What’s wrong, honey?” [ SLAM, BANG, CRASH!!! ] “.................... nothing.” Whatever you do ... whatEVER you do ... do NOT do the convenience store stop-n-shop on the way home from work Valentine’s night. Really? REALLY? You’re going to be THAT guy?
Pickins’ are mighty slim in there, men. You’re pretty much limited to plastic flowers and Slim Jims. And, in case you’re trying to stick with the flowers and candy theme, a $1.99 tattered, plastic gas station rose that still smells of the clerk’s cigarette does not equal a dozen red roses; and a 79¢ Milky Way in a brown paper bag does NOT equal a box of chocolates.
If you’re even considering this, why don’t you just take out a five dollar bill, hand it to the clerk with the Marlboro dangling out of her mouth and ask her to punch you right SQUARE IN THE NOSE! I promise … it’ll be much less painful than what’s going to await you when you get home.
If you DARE show up that night with such a paltry gift, please do make absolutely SURE that you ... take the receipt OUT of the bag before you hand it to her ... especially if you bought stuff for yourself that cost much MORE than the $2.78 that you spent on her. Let me break it down for you … remember those Mastercard commercials? Six-pack of Budweiser $7.99, five lottery tickets $10 ($10 for five lottery tickets because you’ll spring for the Power Play Powerball, of course), cheap, smoky-smelling, tattered, ragged, fake, faded red rose, $1.99, one regular sized chocolate candy bar 79¢ … the look on your wife’s face when she finds the receipt in the bottom of her Valentine Spectacular ... priceless.
I’m not saying you have to go all out and blow a hundred dollars, boys…but at least take a moment to pop into Food Lion for an American Greetings card and six-pack of Hershey Bars with almonds, alright? Remember...EFFORT!
It’s cold in February. Unless Chez Pooch is insulated and has a heat pump, I’m thinking the more you can do to avoid spending frozen nights snuggled up to Fido in the dog house the better. Plus... it’ll be a long time before you can rectify your Valentine FAIL. Mother’s Day isn’t until May. Gotta go. I need to find some old warm blankets for the hubs. In case he doesn’t read this before February 14th, he’s probably going to be needing them. €
DIVING OUR COAST WHAT’S UNDERWATER IN FEBRUARY
The weather in January seemed more like late fall with temperatures in the 60s and 70s, but there were days with temperatures in the 30s that reminded us that it was still winter. While the air temperatures fluctuated, the water temperatures were constantly in the low to mid 50s. Charters will still be running, but the chill in the air will keep most divers out of the water. Some divers will be wearing drysuits, but it is still warm enough for divers to wear 7mm wetsuits. When divers leave the dive boat to enjoy the underwater environment, they want to return to their boat. There are several pieces of equipment that can make a dive safe and enjoyable.
One way a diver can venture away from a wreck or rock outcropping and remain in contact is by using a wreck reel. A wreck reel has nylon line on a spool that can let out as the diver swims away from the wreck or rock outcropping and is wound back up as the diver returns to the anchor line. The amount of line on a wreck reel can range from 100 feet up to 650 feet. Most of the time, a wreck reel with 150 feet to 200 feet of line will be sufficient. The wreck reel can also be used to send up a safety sausage while the diver is beginning their ascent away from the anchor line, allowing the boat crew to see their location before they drift away from the boat. Sometimes, divers surface away from the boat and they need to get the attention of the crew. The safety sausage has been the standard piece of equipment that divers use to get the attention of the crew if they surface away from the dive boat. They come in orange, yellow or orange and yellow. The safety sausage remains rolled up until it is needed. The diver inflates the safety sausage and then keeps tension on it so it sticks up out of the water. This works well, but the further the diver is from the boat, the harder it is to see. In the case of safety sausages, the bigger the better. A strobe light can be used to mark the location of the anchor line during a night dive. The flashing light can be seen over a great distance in the darkness. A diver will have a primary and a back-up dive light on night dives. The back-up light can be powerful yet small enough to fit in a buoyancy compensator pocket. If the diver always has a small light in their BC pocket, it can be used during day dives to help bring out the true colors underwater or to look under overhangs to see what interesting creature is hidden in the shadows. If a diver surface away from the boat during a night dive, they can shine their dive light on their inflated safety sausage to create a beacon to get the boat crew’s attention.
Entanglement in fishing line is the most common problem that divers have underwater. There are a variety of ways a diver can cut the fishing line. The first way is the tried and true method by using a knife. Knives come in a variety of sizes and lengths. Most modern dive knives have a notch on the blade specifically designed to cut line. Some divers aren’t comfortable using a knife, so other options are available. Sea Snips have been around for many years. Unlike scissors, the ends are rounded and the blades are at an angle. Another cutting device is the Eezycut Trilobite. It has two blades, one on each side that has an outer shield to protect the hand from accidentally being cut. There is an opening on each side near the handle that allows the line to enter to be cut. The blades are replaceable.
These five pieces of safety gear let the diver have a more enjoyable dive because the diver will be prepared in case an emergency happens. If you would like to increase your amount of dive safety gear, contact Discovery Diving at dive@discoverydiving.com, 252-728-2265 or like us on Facebook to see what events are coming up in the near future. €
JOIN DISCOVERY
CONTACT Discovery Diving at 252-728-2265 or visit them on Facebook to see what classes and events are coming up. You can also visit them online at discoverydiving.com.
JOIN ECARA
ECARA works to continue sinking ships to create artificial reefs here in North Carolina, but their resources are limited. To get involved, visit carolinareef.org.
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