Men's Health | Column: 'Ask the Girls in the Office' July 2013

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Ask How can I flirt better? – WI There are many paths to a woman’s digits, but only one shortcut: humour. Now, you may be thinking, “But I try to be funny and it never works!” There’s your problem: the more you try for laughs, the fewer you receive. That’s why psychologist and relationship expert Dr Theresa DiDonato suggests building off something you have in common, such as a hot topic in the news or an event you both just witnessed. But if you just saw, say, the bartman spill a drink, resist the urge to turn him into a punch line: DiDonato’s research shows that the best flirtation strategy is affiliative humour: warm, low-key, playful joking, rather than mean-spirited quips.

quick and cold cooldown

What's the fastest way to stop sweating after my lunchtime workout? – MS Fastest? Find a walk-in freezer. Fastest and most practical? Cold water, inside and out. “You continue to sweat after a workout because your core temperature is still above normal,” explains Dr David Nielson, who specialises in treating excessive sweating. “Lower your core temperature and you’ll shut off sweat.” Try Nielson’s “16-15” strategy: after your workout, slowly drink 16 fluid ounces (just under 500 millilitres) of ice-cold water. Next, take a 15-minute shower that’s as cold as you can stand. If you’re still sweating, down another half litre of ice water.

om your way to the top

Every successful guy I read about meditates, but I find it boring. What am I doing wrong? – BC Nothing. Meditation is boring. But then again, so are plenty of other activities that you discipline yourself to do because the pay-off is worth the effort, whether it’s in, say, kilos lost or muscle gained. You just need to focus on the pay-offs to meditation. Try lower blood pressure, reduced stress, enhanced creativity, better sleep and a decreased risk of dementia, says Dr Michael Irwin, director of the Mindful Awareness Research Centre. Here’s how he suggests turning that motivation into meditation: set your phone alarm to sound three times a day. Each time it rings, sit back, close your eyes and focus on inhaling and exhaling for a few breaths, as you dispassionately observe the thoughts that flit in and out of your brain. Over time, gradually extend how long you spend focusing on your breath – aim for 10-15 minutes a session. If you’re still struggling to focus, sign up for a class in tai chi, which is a moving meditation that forces you to focus on your body.

s l r i G e h t k s A Office in the

Crystelle

Alice

Ask the MH girls the questions you can’t ask anyone else. They’re three women with strong opinions, so don’t expect sugar-coated responses My sexual history is pretty colourful and, if I’m honest, slightly depraved. I’ve met a really nice girl who I am totally into, but I’m worried that in the long-term she won’t be able to truly fulfil me. Advice? – KT Cassie “Depraved” and “nice” are mutually exclusive adjectives, KT. I wouldn’t worry about her not satisfying you in the longterm – your pervy arse will have bailed on Miss Vanilla before it gets to that stage. Dirty boy. Alice Don’t be a defeatist, KT. Enjoy what you’ve got with this lass and deal with a lame sex life if it eventuates. See it as an opportunity to share some of your sex knowledge so you can both enjoy your bedroom swing and leather whip. Crystelle I’m with Alice on this one, KT! Who’s to say your lady hasn’t got a thing for “colourful” jiggy? Check out her bookshelf next time you’re visiting her – if she’s got 50 Shades on display, things could work out nicely. My wife’s gym clothes are sexier than anything she wears to bed and she makes more effort for working out than for me. She wore sexy lingerie for her gym Christmas party, then I overheard her talking about a strip show she put on. I’m worried she might be having an affair – what can I do? – MB Crystelle Um, have you asked her about this alleged strip show? ’Cause if I overheard a comment like that, MB, it would be on for young and old! I think you need to ask her if everything is

okay between the two of you (in a non-accusatory tone) and see where that goes. Cassie Obviously we don’t know the full story, but it sounds to me like an affair is a possibility. But don’t lose heart. You do need to confront her about it, but even if your suspicions are correct, she’ll have her reasons – and you can hopefully work it out. Alice A suspected indiscretion is not easy territory to navigate, MB. Before you broach the sensitive topic with your wife (if she’s not having one, it’d be a tricky allegation for the relationship to come back from – ya feeling me?), perhaps seek professional advice. Relationships Australia might be a good place to start. Why are girls rude to guys who call to catch up a few days after they exchanged numbers at a bar? This happens a bit and I don’t know why; I’m always really nice. – AS Crystelle Maybe ’cause you’re playing games and taking three days to call them? Alice Not all girls are rude, AS. Promise. Perhaps you need to tweak your meet ’n’ greet hotspot. Try taking Bruno to the park and striking up a conversation with a fellow dog walker. Or tap into the cyber world, where you can hold a conversation without competing with Calvin Harris beats. Cassie Sounds to me like it’s the type of girl you’re swapping digits with, AS. Maybe a drunken pash ’n’ dash in a pub isn’t so conducive to connecting in the harsh light of day. I agree with Alice – change the venue (and

try to be sober) and I reckon you’ll have more luck. Do you girls believe that we all have one true love – or is that just bullshit? – KP Alice Yep. Sign me up to a fairytale romance and feel free to renew my subscription. Note: if you put a ring on it, only to find your soul mate is a cheater (sorry, MB), don’t give up – they may have been the warm-up round pre numero uno. Cassie There are billions of people on this planet, so no, I don’t think there’s one person out there for all of us. If there were, what if he or she lived in Mongolia and you never crossed paths? What a depressing theory. Crystelle I do believe in finding a love to spend the rest of your life with, KP, but I don’t want you to think that if you broke up with your “one” then that’s it. ’Cause it’s not. Life gives us lots of opportunities – it’s up to you whether you want to take them. Brazilians on women are hot – but what about on men? I’m seriously considering it. – PS Alice I fear you’d look like the backside of Mr Bigglesworth, but if you’re keen to experiment with the clippers, go for it. Just be aware of the potential for skin-toskin chaffing. Cassie Sorry to break it to you, PS, but you’d never enter a dick in a beauty contest – you know what I'm sayin’. Why would you want to draw any more attention to it? Crystelle VOMIT! It’s fine to keep things neat and trimmed, PS, but having a silky-smooth bald patch is waaaay too metro for me.

Got a question for Ask Men’s Health or The Girls in the Office? Email menshealth@pacificmags.com.au or log onto yahoo7.com.au/menshealth.

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Y A H O O 7. c o m . a u / m e n s h e a lt h

Cassie

esa ruohonen

HUMOUR HAS IT


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