Badgers
chapter IX - “cowboy callup” THE UW BADGERS AS A REAL CLIQUE ARE ALL MOVING ON WITH THEIR LIVES. THE LAST YEARS OF COLLEGE LIFE AT UW MADISON ARE FAST APPROACHING. MANDY AND JAN AS ROOM MATES ARE PREPARING TO MOVE OUT OF THE DG HOUSE FOR THE SUMMER. MANDY IS HEADED FOR A YOUTH SUMMER CAMP IN NORTHERN MICHIGAN, WHERE SHE WILL INSTRUCT YOUNG VOLLEYBALLERS. MANDY IS STILL SUFFERING SOME DEPRESSION AFTER THE DEATH OF HER HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART, MAX. HER FAMILY DOCTOR HAS PLACED HER ON LEXAPRO WITH LITTLE EFFECT. JAN IS HEADED FOR HAITI AS PART OF HER NURSING EDUCATION AND IS NOW PRESIDENT OF THE PANHELLENIC COUNCIL ON CAMPUS. SHE ALSO HAS MANY MODELING AND TALENT AGENCIES REQUESTING HER SERVICES. SENSIBLE JAN WANTS TO TRAVEL TO TEXAS AND PRACTICE NURSING AND OPENLY ADMITS SHE WANTS A FAMILY SOON. SHE HAS NEARLY TOTALLY GIVEN UP AFTER CHASING ALEX FOR THREE SOLID YEARS ON CAMPUS. ALEX HAS GRADUATED AND UNFORTUNATELY, DIDN’T GAIN ENTRANCE INTO DENTAL SCHOOL AFTER APPLYING THROUGHOUT THE UNITED STATES. AFTER A DECENT QB SHOWING AT THE NFL COMBINE ALEX HAS AN OFFER FROM THE COWBOYS TO TRY OUT AT SUMMER CAMP. HE IS CONTEMPLATING WALKING ON AT OTHER CAMPS INCLUDING THE PACKERS – HIS FAVORITE TEAM. CAROLINE, JAN’S NEMESIS ON THE UW VOLLEYBALL TEAM, IS NAMED CAPTAIN OF THE TEAM FOR NEXT YEAR – RUBBING SALT INTO A SCORCHED WOUND OVER RICH WELLMAN. RICH WAS INVITED TO THE FRENCH OPEN IN HIS JUNIOR YEAR THUS ACCELERATING HIS POPULARITY ON CAMPUS AND THROUGHOUT THE STATE. CAROLINE, A TRI DELTA, HAS BEEN ANYTHING BUT BASHFUL REGARDING HER IMPENDING ENGAGEMENT TO RICH, AND HAS BECOME UTTERLY OBNOXIOUS TO MOST OF THE UW GREEKS.
MANDY OK ALEX, WHAT IS THE PLAN?
ALEX THERE IS NO PLAN RIGHT NOW. I’VE GOT MY PARENTS AND ALL THEIR FRIENDS RIGHT HERE FOR GRADUATION. THEY ARE HANGING OUT A FEW DAYS TO ENJOY MADISON.
MANDY YOU DON’T GET IT ALEX. WHAT IS THE PLAN? EVERY GUY GRADUATING MUST HAVE A PLAN. ARE YOU RAMPING? 2
ALEX I JUST WALKED OFF THE PODIUM AT THE COMMENCEMENT CEREMONIES RIGHT HERE AT THE KOHL CENTER. YOU ARE NOT CELEBRATING LIKE I AM.
MANDY NO I AM NOT CELEBRATING UNTIL YOU HAVE A PLAN. IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL EXPERIENCE. THE SPEAKER, ARNE DUNCAN, ONE OF OBAMA’S CABINET, WAS GREAT AND INSPIRATIONAL. BUT YOU DON’T HAVE A PLAN.
ALEX CHILL OUT MANDY. I’M WORKING ON THE PLAN. RIGHT NOW I HAVE NO JOB, CANNOT GET INTO THE GRAD SCHOOL I HAVE WANTED FOR FOUR YEARS, AND NO, I CANNOT COMMIT TO JAN. SO YES, THERE IS NO PLAN. YOU WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT. MAY PARENTS ARE OK WITH ALL THIS.
MANDY SO ARE YOU MOVING BACK HOME FOR THE SUMMER?
ALEX I’M GOING BACK HOME TO CHICAGO FOR A FEW DAYS, AND THEN I JUST DON’T KNOW.
MANDY YOU REALLY DON’T HAVE A PLAN ALEX.
ALEX WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT MANDY? NOT EVERYONE WINS ALL THE TIME. I DIDN’T WIN GETTING INTO DENTAL SCHOOL. YES IT SUCKS. MY LAST INTERVIEW AT MARQUETTE WENT WELL, BUT DUE TO DIVERSITY, A HISPANIC GAL WITH LOWER CREDENTIALS GOT THE SPOT. I’M ON A WAIT LIST.
MANDY SO WHAT ARE THE STATISTICS FOR WOMEN GRADUATING FROM DENTAL SCHOOLS? ARE THEY AS BAD AS SOME OF THE MEDICAL SCHOOLS AND RESIDENCIES I’VE HEARD ABOUT?
ALEX IT IS WORSE. MANY WOMEN DON’T PRACTICE DUE TO FAMILY OBLIGATIONS, AND THE AVERAGE DEPENDING ON THE STUDY IS ANYWHERE FROM 3 - 7 YEARS AS OPPOSED TO MALES WHO PRACTICE 25 - 40 YEARS. DESPITE THIS, FEMALES WIN DUE TO DIVERSITY ALL THINGS BEING EQUAL. 3
MANDY THAT REALLY SUCKS. WHY DOESN’T ANYONE DO ANYTHING ABOUT THIS? YOU BELONG IN DENTAL SCHOOL ALEX!
ALEX IT IS OUR CULTURE PLAIN AND SIMPLE. STANDARDS ARE NEW, UNEVEN, NOT FAIR, PC, AND YES MY PARENTS ARE UPSET.
MANDY WHAT ABOUT GRAD SCHOOL AT THE UW?
ALEX I WAS OFFERED A TA POSITION IN THE BIOLOGY DEPARTMENT.
MANDY WORKS - ESPECIALLY WITH JAN BEING A SENIOR.
ALEX DROP IT MANDY. I CANNOT EVEN AFFORD A PIZZA BY MYSELF AT PAISAN’S. I HAVE TOLD YOU TIME AND TIME AGAIN SHE IS THE VERY BEST PERSON, WE GET ALONG WELL, AND I WOULD MARRY HER IN A MINUTE IF I COULD SUPPORT HER.
MANDY YOU KNOW JAN GOT INTRODUCED TO SAM HOOVER ON THE TENNIS TEAM THE OTHER NIGHT AT THE KK.
ALEX NO I’M NOT UP ON EVERY NUANCE OF LANGDON STREET. REMEMBER I’M NOT A GREEK - I’M A STUDENT ATHLETE.
MANDY IT IS REALLY WEIRD AFTER READING ABOUT THE NFL COMBINE IN SI, AND THEN A BIG ARTICLE IN THE DAILY CARDINAL THAT YOU ARE NOT TOSSING FOOTBALLS TO RECRUITS AND NEXT YEAR’S PLAYERS AT CAMP RANDALL. I DON’T GET IT. JERRY JONES THE COWBOYS OWNER INVITED YOU TO CAMP. I’D BE ON A PLANE YESTERDAY.
ALEX YES I’LL PROBABLY GO. BUT I WAS A QB ON A RUNNING TEAM.
MANDY BUT THE COMBINE GUYS SAY YOUR ARM IS AS STRONG AS CUTLER’S FROM THE BEARS.
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ALEX I LACK CONFIDENCE. I’VE KNOWN SO MANY VERY GOOD COLLEGE QUARTERBACKS WHO HANG OUT FOR YEARS TRYING TO MAKE TAXI AND PRACTICE SQUADS. I REALLY DON’T WANT TO DO THAT. I DON’T WANT TO BE ON THE JV TEAM.
MANDY A QUICK WAY TO WIN JAN’S HEART WOULD BE TO GET ON A PLANE, CHECK INTO THE COWBOYS TRAINING CAMP IN SAN ANTONIO, AND….
ALEX AND OXNARD, CALIFORNIA. THEY ACTUALLY HAVE TWO CAMP VENUES.
MANDY YES, YOU ARE PLANNING.
ALEX MAYBE. I’M STILL THINKING OVER AN OFFER TO TRY OUT - NO MONEY INVOLVED, ROOM AND BOARD, AND ALL THE DRILLS AND HITS YOU CAN HANDLE. BUT IT’S NOT THE PACKERS.
MANDY MAN UP ALEX. YOU ONLY HAVE ONE OPPORTUNITY. THIS IS IT. WITH YOUR ARM, YOU CAN MAYBE MAKE SECOND STRING, A FEW MILLION DOLLARS, PROPOSE TO JAN, AND SHE GETS TEXAS TO BOOT. YOU HAVE A PLAN.
ALEX THAT IS YOUR PLAN FOR ME. I WAITED UNTIL I RECEIVED A CALL FROM THE MARQUETTE DENTAL SCHOOL WHO SAID NO ONLY 48 HOURS AGO.
MANDY HEY IN FACT THERE IS THAT BRUTE, CAROLINE. SHE IS ACTUALLY WALKING TOWARD US NOW.
ALEX I’VE HEARD NOTHING GOOD. IS IT REALLY TRUE SHE AND WELLMAN ARE GETTING MARRIED? WASN’T THAT THE GUY YOU WERE CHASING?
MANDY WORDS CANNOT CONVEY THE SCORN I HAVE FOR THIS WOMAN, BUT SHE IS THE NEW CAPTAIN NEXT YEAR AS THE TEAM SETTER. IT WILL BE A WONDERFUL YEAR. I’VE ALREADY TOLD MY UW SENIOR RESIDENT PSYCHIATRIST TO DOUBLE MY LEXAPRO DOSE FOR THE VOLLEYBALL SEASON. 5
ALEX HEY CAROLINE! HOW’S IT GOING?
CAROLINE SUPER! HOW ARE YOU TWO DOING? GREAT GRADUATION ALEX! RICH AND I JUST THOUGHT HOW WONDERFUL IT WILL BE NEXT YEAR WITH HIM GRADUATING.
ALEX AND THEN IT WILL BE YOUR TURN IN A COUPLE YEARS.
CAROLINE THAT IS IF I’M STILL A UW STUDENT.
MANDY SO YOU ARE CAPTAIN NEXT YEAR, AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW IF YOU’LL REMAIN A UW COED? WHAT IS ALL THAT ABOUT?
CAROLINE WE HAD A PRE-ENGAGEMENT PARTY LAST WEEK IN CHICAGO - AT RICH’S FAMILY HOUSE WITH FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS.
ALEX I GUESS I’M A REAL DUMBO CAROLINE. I’VE NEVER HEARD OF A PRE-ENGAGEMENT PARTY. YOU EITHER ARE, OR ARE NOT ENGAGED. WHAT IS ALL THAT ABOUT?
MANDY YES, FILL US BOTH IN CAROLINE. WE ARE BOTH SOCIALLY STUPID AND AS MERE SERFS ARE JUST NOT IN THE SAME SOCIAL STRATA AS YOU AND RICH.
CAROLINE IT’S NO BIG DEAL. I’M SURE YOU HEARD OR READ THE ARTICLE IN THE DAILY CARDINAL AND THE LITTLE BIT ON FOX SPORTS ABOUT RICH GOING TO PARIS THIS WEEK FOR THE FRENCH OPEN. SOMEONE DROPPED AND HE HAD APPLIED. THUS THE LUCKY PHONE CALL.
MANDY SO WHY DIDN’T YOU GO WITH HIM?
CAROLINE RICH’S PARENTS JUST WANTED HIM OVER THERE CONCENTRATING ON TENNIS. AS THE LOWEST SEED, HE’LL HAVE TO PLAY NADAL OR RODDICK OR SOMEONE RIDICULOUS IN THE FIRST MATCH. BUT YOU NEVER REALLY KNOW. 6
MANDY I STILL DON’T GET THE PRE-ENGAGEMENT PARTY. DID YOU GET A RING?
CAROLINE NO. ONLY A PROMISE OF ONE. WE ACTUALLY LOOKED.
ALEX THAT IS WEIRD. SO DO I CALL YOU TWO ENGAGED?
CAROLINE IT ISN’T WEIRD. IT IS A SOCIETY OF DEBUTANTES IN CHICAGO’S UPPER CLASS TO BE SPECIFIC. IT ISN’T FOR EVERYONE. BASICALLY BEFORE THE FORMAL ENGAGEMENT THESE FOLKS HAVE TO GIVE THEIR APPROVAL ALSO.
MANDY SO THEY VOTE?
CAROLINE ESSENTIALLY YES. IT’S UP OR DOWN BASED ON LOOKS, ACTIONS, AND YOUR FAMILY.
MANDY SO THESE UPPER CRUST CHICAGOANS ACCEPTED YOUR MIDDLE CLASS FAMILY FROM KENOSHA?
CAROLINE NOT YET. THAT IS PHASE TWO. AFTER THE FRENCH WE ARE HAVING ANOTHER COMING OUT PARTY FOR ANOTHER COUPLE; AND THEN THE DECISION WILL BE MADE AFTER EVERYONE MINGLES WITH MY FAMILY.
ALEX IS THIS OK WITH YOUR MOM AND DAD?
CAROLINE HELL YES ALEX! DO YOU THINK MY MOM WANTS A SOCIAL WORKER COLLEGE GRADUATE STUDENT MOVING BACK IN A DLS GAL?
MANDY DLS - DELAYED LAUNCH SYNDROME. HMMM... ISN’T THAT AT ABOUT 66% PER THE DAILY CARDINAL?
ALEX NO WAY!
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CAROLINE YES IT IS. 66% OF COLLEGE GRADS MOVE BACK HOME FOR AN EXTENDED STAY, WAIT TABLES, DRINK, AND GIVE THEIR PARENTS TROUBLE THEY TAKE YEARS TO RECOVER FROM.
MANDY SO HELL YES YOUR MOM IS BOOSTING HER STOCK PORTFOLIO AND WOULD TAKE AN ENGAGEMENT AND MARRIAGE OVER DLS OR AN OLD MAID.
ALEX SO I GUESS I’M A DLS GUY ALSO. I’M MOVING BACK HOME FROM A MADISON APARTMENT TO HOME.
CAROLINE WHAT ABOUT JAN - THE NEW PANHELLENIC COUNCIL PRESIDENT NEXT YEAR, FAMOUS NURSING STUDENT GOING TO HAITI FOR THE SUMMER AND ALL THE REST OF THE ACCOLADES OF MODELING AND TALENT AGENCIES EVEN THOUGH SHE’S A DG.
MANDY WELL I WOULD IN A HEARTBEAT TAKE A DG OVER A TRI DELT.
CAROLINE LET’S SEE MANDY. WHO ARE YOUR FAMOUS DG GALS? LET’S SEE - NO ONE. WHO ARE THE FAMOUS DELTA DELTA DELTA SORORITY ALUMNI - IT’S ONLY LIZ CLAIBORNE, KATIE COURIC, LEEZA GIBBONS, DEBORAH NORVILLE, DORIS KEARNS GOODWIN, MARY CROSBY -DALLAS, ELIZABETH DOLE, FARAH FAWCETT, AND NELLIE CONNALLY.
MANDY NOT SO FAST. ED HILL - FOX AND FRIENDS, PAT HEATON EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, AND SARAH HUGHES. ALL DG ALUMS.
CAROLINE WHO THE HECK IS SARAH HUGHES?
ALEX WASN’T SHE THE JUDGE WHO SWORE IN LBJ THE DAY KENNEDY WAS ASSASSINATED!
MANDY 100% CORRECT. GOOD ALEX!
ALEX GUYS BASICALLY LIKE HISTORY - AT LEAST THAT IS WHAT OUR PROFS TELL US. BUT NELLIE CONNALLY? 8
CAROLINE GOVERNOR CONNALLY’S WIFE - RODE IN THE LIMOUSINE THAT CARRIED PRESIDENT KENNEDY TO HIS DEATH.
MANDY SO BACK TO THE BASICS CAROLINE. YOU NEED A COUPLE MORE STEPS FOR THE ENGAGEMENT TO OCCUR.
CAROLINE IT IS A MERE FORMALITY. IT WON’T HAPPEN UNTIL RICH RETURNS FROM PARIS WITH HIS PARENTS.
ALEX WHAT IF RICH’S SOCIAL PEERS DON’T LIKE YOUR KENOSHANS?
CAROLINE OH, IT IS A MERE FORMALITY. MAY FAMILY HAS ALREADY BEEN INVESTIGATED.
ALEX BOY, I DON’T KNOW IF MY FAMILY WOULD STAND UP TO THAT SCRUTINY. MY DAD IS MORE OF A REDNECK FOOTBALL TYPE OF GUY, GOES TO SOX GAMES, AND DRINKS A 12 PACK EVERY BEARS GAME.
CAROLINE RICH’S FAMILY WOULDN’T BE CAUGHT DEAD AT SOX PARK. IN FACT THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE THE WHITE SOX PARK IS IN SOUTH CHICAGO.
MANDY THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME. I’M GLAD I’M HEADING TO THE UP FOR THE SUMMER. I ONLY HAVE TO DEAL WITH MOMS AND DADS EVERY OTHER WEEK AT VOLLEYBALL CAMP CHECK IN.
ALEX AREN’T MOST OF THESE KIDS BRATS ANYWAY?
MANDY OH A FEW HAVE SUBURBAN SYNDROME - SPOILED ROTTEN, BUT MANY ARE FROM INNER CITY DETROIT AND A JOY TO TEACH. I’M ON MY WAY TO BEING A VOLLEYBALL COACH MAYBE. MY PLAN.
ALEX YOU GALS UP FOR ONE LAST FLING AT THE KK?
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MANDY SOUNDS COOL. YOU IN CAROLINE?
CAROLINE I’LL GO, BUT RICH AND I HAVE BEEN HANGIN AT THE BIG TEN PUB ON REGENT STREET. A DIFFERENT MORE MATURE CLIENTELE.
MANDY NOW YOU ARE GOING TO STOOP AND COME DOWN TO OUR LEVEL PLAYING FIELD AT THE KK.
CAROLINE WASN’T THE KK ON PROBATION THIS YEAR?
ALEX THE USUAL STUFF - FAKE IDS, UNDERAGE DRINKING, ONLY A TWO WEEK SHUTDOWN.
MANDY SO ISN’T THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?
CAROLINE I CAN HANDLE IT. LET’S GO.
ALEX MY CELL JUST WENT OFF. IT’S JAN. LET ME GET THIS QUICKLY.
CAROLINE MANDY AND I WILL JUST SAUNTER DOWN TO THE KK, AND JERSEY WATCH.
MANDY I’M NOT CHASING ATHLETES ANY FURTHER CAROLINE. YOU ACTUALLY STOLE THE ONLY ATHLETE I WAS INTERESTED IN.
CAROLINE LET’S SEE TEAM MATE. AT THAT TIME YOU HADN’T BROKE UP WITH MAX YET, YOU HAD ZERO DATES WITH RICH, AND HE CONFESSED HE HAD ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST IN YOU OTHER THAN BEING A FRIEND ON FACE BOOK.
MANDY IS THAT SO? THEN WHY DID HE CALL ME THE WEEK OF MAX’S DEATH?
CAROLINE PROBABLY TO SAY HE WAS SORRY. NOTHING MORE. 10
MANDY HE ACTUALLY DROPPED FLOWERS OFF AT THE DG HOUSE AND ASKED IF I HAD A DATE FOR THE FALL SOCIAL.
CAROLINE WELL WE WERE NOT YET REALLY DATING.
MANDY IT’S OK CAROLINE. WE HAVE TO LIVE WITH ONE ANOTHER ALL NEXT YEAR. I’M OK WITH ALL THIS. I WISH YOU WELL. I DOUBT IF MY FAMILY COULD HANDLE ALL THE SCRUTINY OF UPPER CRUST OLD CHICAGO SOCIETY. WE ARE TALKED ABOUT ENOUGH IN JANESVILLE. MAX’S RIPON GIRLFRIEND JUST DELIVERED A LITTLE MAX WHO LIVES DOWN THE STREET FROM MY PARENTS.
CAROLINE THAT WOULD DOUBLE MY SSRI MEDICATION.
MANDY WHICH ONE ARE YOU ON?
CAROLINE THE NEW ONE - SAVELLA - BLOCKS EVERY BAD BRAIN CHEMICAL AND ALL THE FEEL GOOD CHEMICALS ABOUND. IT’S GREAT. ALSO HELPS WITH ALL THE MUSCLE ACHES AND PAINS, AND BOOSTS PERFORMANCE. THE BIG TEN IS TALKING ABOUT DISALLOWING THESE DRUGS THOUGH.
MANDY I’M ON LEXAPRO AND IT DOES NOTHING. MAYBE I’LL ASK ABOUT A SWITCH.
ALEX HEY THE COWBOYS ARE ON THE LINE. THEY WANT ME IN A QB MINI CAMP NEXT WEEK. IN FACT JERRY JONES AND THE COACHES WERE LOOKING AT THE FILMS OF OUR UW RUNNING TEAM AND THEY REALLY SEE HOPE FOR ME. MAYBE A CONTRACT.
MANDY THERE IS YOUR PLAN ALEX. YOU MADE IT. FUNNY WE SHOULD RUN INTO JAN AT THE KK. TOO BAD SHE IS TALKING TO SAM HOOVER, THE TENNIS GUY.
ALEX OH SHE IS JUST JERSEY SHOPPING.
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CAROLINE LOOKS MORE SERIOUS THAN THAT ALEX. I WOULD MAKE MY MOVE NOW OR YOU WILL REGRET IT LATER.
MANDY GOOD GOD CAROLINE, ALEX HAS HAD THREE YEARS TO MAKE A MOVE AND HAS STOOD DEATHLY STILL. HE FINALLY HAS A PLAN.
ALEX MAYBE IT’S TOO LATE.
CAROLINE IT’S NEVER TOO LATE. ORDER A LEINE’S DRAFT FOR YOU AND A CHARDONAY FOR JAN. SHE IS JUST FLIRTING, NOTHING TOO SERIOUS.
JAN HEY ALEX, I JUST HEARD THE GOOD NEWS.
ALEX WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
JAN THE DAILY CARDINAL SPORTS GUY WHO IS ALWAYS ON LINE JUST GOT WORD OF A STORY ON THE COWBOYS WEB SITE THAT SAYS YOU’LL BE IN MINI CAMP NEXT WEEK WITH ALL THE COACHES AND JUST A FEW RECEIVERS. THEY ARE THINKING OF YOU BEING ROMO’S BACKUP.
MANDY HE’S FINALLY GOT A PLAN - RIGHT ALEX?
ALEX YES MANDY. I HAVE A PLAN. HERE IS YOUR CHARDONAY JAN.
JAN OH SORRY, SAM ALREADY PURCHASED AN UPGRADE FROM THE HOUSE WINE - I’M INTO VIN SANTO FROM TUSCANY.
END - BADGERS IX
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