Clark & Addison
Episode XVI - “HOT STOVE TALK“ SETTING: A REUNION OF 20 SOMETHING CUB FANS ON THE CORNER OF CLARK AND ADDISON IN CHICAGO - IN A SMALL BAR NAMED WEAGHMAN’S PARK. THE CUBS ORIGINALLY PLAYED AT WEAGHMAN PARK IN CHICAGO BEFORE TRANSFERRING TO CUBS PARK IN 1919 - WHICH BECAME WRIGLEY FIELD IN 1926. NIGHTLY IN DEPTH DISCUSSIONS OF CUBS AND CHICAGO OCCUR AT WEEGHMAN’S PARK. WEAGHMAN’S PARK ONLY SERVES FOOD AND DRINK ORIGINATING FROM ABOVE THE WISCONSIN BORDER. KERI WHERE ARE WE GOING WITH ALL THIS CUB TALK JOSH? JOSH I DON’T KNOW. I’M JUST SO MISERABLY FRUSTRATED. KERI OK YOU NEED TO GET OVER IT. THE CUBS HAVE SPRING TRAINING IN ANOTHER COUPLE MONTHS. WINTER BALL IS UPON US IN MEXICO, THE CARIBBEAN, ARIZONA, AND FLORIDA. JOSH IT SEEMINGLY HAS REQUIRED SOME FORTITUDE TO GET OVER THIS SEASON. KERI THE FACT THAT THERE WAS NO PUNCH DOWN THE STRETCH? JOSH TOTALLY! KERI SO YOU ARE GOING TO SIT AROUND ALL WINTER AND CRY ABOUT THE CUBS 2009 SEASON? JOSH RIGHT NOW YES! KERI WELL YOU’LL BE A BUNCH OF FUN TO BE AROUND. JOSH I’M JUST PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY UPSET. WE WERE NOT EVEN IN A PLAYOFF RACE. KERI TOO MANY INJURIES, UNTIMELY HITTING, AND PLAYERS WHO AGAIN DIDN’T COME NEAR THEIR POTENTIAL. I’M SORRY WE HAVE TO PRODUCE.
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JOSH AND IT ISN’T NECESSARILY CORRELATED WITH MONEY. WRIGLEY IS ALWAYS FULL, THE FANS ARE SO SUPPORTIVE, AND WE HAVE GREAT COACHING. KERI SO YOU THINK LOU IS THE ANSWER? JOSH WELL IF HE ISN’T, WHO IS? KERI YES I KNOW HE WAS THE MANAGER OF THE YEAR WHEN HE WAS AT SEATTLE AND ALL THAT, BUT WE HAVE SUCH POOR CLUTCH HITTING, INCONSISTENT PITCHING, AND EGG SHELL TYPE PLAYERS. JOSH MAYBE WE SHOULD BE LIKE LOMBARDI WHO MADE THE PACKERS PLAY INJURED OR HEALTHY. HE NEVER BELIEVED IN GIVING IT TIME TO HEAL. TOO MUCH RIDING ON THE TEAM TO SIT FOR INJURIES. KERI SO HIS PLAYERS PLAYED WITH.... JOSH BROKEN ARMS, LEGS UNLESS THEY COULDN’T WALK, SPRAINS, STRAINS, FLU, YOU NAME IT - IT DIDN’T MATTER. KERI MAYBE WE NEED A LOMBARDI TYPE TO COACH CHICAGO. OUR PLAYERS AGAIN ARE WAY TOO SOFT. JOSH WELL THINGS HAVE CHANGED A BIT SINCE LOMBARDI. KERI MAYBE - BUT MAYBE THEY NEED TO CHANGE BACK AGAIN. WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING....AND SOON. WE COULD BE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE CENTRAL DIVISION THIS SEASON IF WE DON’T PAY ATTENTION TO SOME FINE DETAILS. JOSH SUCH AS? KERI WELL TO START WE NEED TO EVALUATE WHAT WE HAVE NOW AND PLAN FOR NEXT SEASON NOW. JOSH SO WHAT DO WE DO WITH ALFONSO?
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JOSH WELL HE CANNOT FIELD AND THERE IS NO DH SO........... KERI TRADE HIM TO THE AMERICAN LEAGUE FOR ANOTHER HITTER OR PITCHER - SOMEONE DECENT. JOSH LOTS OF FANS WOULD NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL. KERI SORIANO IS TOO SCHIZOPHRENIC AT THE PLATE. HIS NUMBERS ARE WAY DOWN FOR THE ZILLIONS WE PAY HIM. JOSH THAT IS A BIG MOVE FOR LOU AND MANAGEMENT TO COMPLETE. A REALLY BIG MOVE. KERI WELL I THINK THE NEW GUY - WHAT IS HIS NAME? JOSH RICKETTS - TOM RICKETTS. KERI WELL I HAVE HEARD SOME VERY GOOD THINGS ABOUT THIS GUY. A REAL CUB FAN. HE’LL DO ANYTHING TO WIN. RICKETTS REALLY WANTS A WORLD SERIES HERE. JOSH SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE IN CHICAGO. KERI WELL RICKETTS IS A UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO MBA GRAD, FORMERLY LIVED NEAR WRIGLEY, AND A LIFE LONG CUBS FAN. WHAT MORE DO WE WANT? JOSH IT IS ADMITTEDLY BETTER THAN THE TRIBUNE COMPANY WHERE NO ONE PERSON WAS EVER AT WRIGLEY AND ACCOUNTABLE. I STILL THINK MARK CUBAN MADE SENSE. KERI THERE IS NO WAY THE COMMISSIONER OR OWNERS WOULD EVER APPROVE OF CUBAN. HE IS A GOOD SPORTS GUY - BUT WAY TOO EXCITABLE. JOSH BASEBALL NEEDS SOME NEW BLOOD AND HE WOULD REALLY BE A TALENT CHICAGO COULD UTILIZE. HE NEVER MISSES A MAVERICKS GAME.
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KERI CUBAN ISN’T COMING SO WE SHOULDN’T WASTE TIME TALKING ABOUT IT. IT’S THAT SIMPLE. JOSH SO DO YOU THINK THIS GUY RICKETTS WILL WHEEL AND DEAL PLAYERS, COACHES, OR WHAT? KERI WHAT I’M HEARING AROUND TOWN IS THAT HE IS LEAVING MUCH OF THIS TO JIM HENDRY. JOSH I DON’T KNOW. MAYBE JIM CAN PULL TOGETHER A WINNER. BUT HE’S HAD TIME AND HASN’T PRODUCED. KERI WELL I THINK THE BIG QUESTIONS ARE IF SOME OF THESE GUYS STAY. JOSH LIKE FONTENOT, SORIANO, SAMARDZIJA, SOTO, BRADLEY....THE LIST GOES ON. ALL ARE UNDER PRODUCERS. KERI AGREED. NONE OF THESE GUYS CAN PLAY TO THEIR POTENTIAL. THERIOT WAS THE BEST PLAYER ON THE TEAM AND IS ONLY RECEIVING $457,000 PER YEAR. JOSH WELL I THINK RICKETTS WILL LISTEN TO THE FANS. THE FANS PAY THE BILLS AND CONTRIBUTE TO WRIGLEY’S MYSTIQUE. KERI YES I AGREE WITH ALL THAT; HOWEVER WILL RICKETTS BE BULLDOZED BY LOU, HENDRY, ASSISTANT COACHES, MEDIA, AND EVEN THE PLAYERS THEMSELVES? JOSH POSSIBLY. BUT HE HAS SOME REALLY GOOD STUFF ON THE FARM AND THROUGH SOME TRADES ALREADY THIS FALL. KERI LEE FROM BOISE HIT GREATER THAN 300, AND CARPENTER FROM TENNESSEE HAD A BELOW 3 ERA. JOSH YES AND KYLER BURKE, AN OUTFIELDER IN THE MIDWEST LEAGUE, AND JAY JACKSON, A RIGHT HANDED PITCHER IN OUR FARM SYSTEM ARE REALLY KICKING BUTT.
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KERI BUT WELLS, MARMOL, HOFFPAUIR, AND FOX DID A NICE JOB FOR US THIS YEAR. JOSH AND DEREK LED THE TEAM IN RBIs WHICH REALLY KEPT US IN BIG GAMES. KERI AND GRABOW JUST SIGNED A BIG TWO YEAR RELIEVER CONTRACT. JOSH AND WE JUST ACQUIRED MAINE AND WHITE FROM ARIZONA WHO MAY HELP US A TON. KERI BUT THIS ALL BEGS THE ISSUE. WHAT DO WE DO WITH A TON OF DEAD WEIGHT ON THIS TEAM THAT DOESN’T PRODUCE? JOSH LOU, HENDRY, AND RICKETTS NEED TO HAVE SOME OPEN FRANK DISCUSSION. IT IS OBVIOUS SOME OF THESE GUYS CANNOT HIT CONSISTENTLY. PITCHING IS AT TIMES ABOMINABLE. MOST OF OUR PITCHERS ARE 500 AT BEST. KERI SO DO WE SIT BACK AND RELY ON THE FARM TEAMS TO PRODUCE? JOSH YES TO SOME EXTENT. WE CANNOT CONTINUE THIS TEAM WITH LEFT OVERS FROM OTHER MAJOR LEAGUE TEAMS. IT IS REALLY THAT SIMPLE. WE’RE TRULY GET LEFTOVERS. KERI SOME FEEL THAT RYNO SHOULD LEAVE PEORIA AND AT LEAST BE AN ASSISTANT AT WRIGLEY. OTHERS FEEL LOU HAS HAD HIS BIG CHANCE AND FLUNKED. JOSH RICKETTS HAS A TON TO DEAL WITH HERE AT WRIGLEY - AND IT IS MUCH MORE THAN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH A HOT DOG COSTS. KERI BOY I’LL SAY IT IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE. FOR INSTANCE MY BOYFRIEND, SAMARDZIJA, WHAT DO WE DO WITH HIM? JOSH SAMARDZIJA ERA’S WAS LIKE 7. WHY ISN’T HE BEING SENT TO TENNESSEE, PEORIA, OR DAYTONA?
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KERI I DON’T KNOW - ALL I KNOW IS THAT HE IS HERE AND I LIKE THAT. JOSH HAVE YOU EVER MET SAMARDZIJA? KERI KIND OF. JOSH WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? KERI WELL WE HAD A CLOSE ENCOUNTER AFTER A GAME WHILE WALKING OUT. JOSH BUT YOU NEVER FORMALLY MET SAMARDZIJA? KERI NO - WE JUST SAID HI. THAT’S IT. JOSH EXCUSE ME A SECOND. IT HAS BEEN SLOW TONIGHT AT WEAGHMAN’S PARK - BUT THE CROWD IS STARTING TO FILTER IN. THE GUY IN THE CORNER WANTS A FULL PLATE OF ZUERCHER CHEESE; AND THE GUY WAY OVER THERE CANNOT DRINK ENOUGH LEINENKUGEL. KERI ORIGINAL. JOSH YES, THAT IS STILL THE MOST REQUESTED BEER. THE SEASONAL STUFF REMAINS HOT FROM BORDER PEOPLE. AND THE ZUERCHER CHEESE IS SO VERY POPULAR WE CANNOT KEEP IT IN HOUSE. KERI WELL ALL I KNOW IS THAT EATING THAT CHEESE PUTS ON 15 POUNDS IN A SITTING. IT JUST SITS WITH YOU AND GATHERS FAT AND WATER. JOSH EVERYTHING IN MODERATION IS OK. KERI I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THAT. IT SEEMS ONLY A TRIVIAL AMOUNT OF ZUERCHER’S CHEESE PUTS ON WEIGHT. JOSH I’VE SEEN SOME THIN GALS EAT THIS CHEESE IN HERE FREQUENTLY, AND THEY DON’T BECOME CHUBBY.
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KERI THESE THIN GALS PROBABLY RUN MARATHONS DAILY ALSO. JOSH WELL MAYBE - BUT ZUERCHERS’ HAS A NUMBER OF LIGHTER CHEESE SELECTIONS TOO. KERI ARE NOT THOSE LIGHTER CHEESES SPECIAL ORDERS? JOSH YES THEY ARE, BUT WE HAVE THEM ON BIG GAME DAYS. KERI SUCH AS THE CARDINALS COMING TO TOWN? JOSH DEFINITELY. AND ALSO NOW THAT THE BREWERS HAVE CONSISTENTLY DRAWN LARGE CROWDS. IN THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS EVEN COLORADO HAS BROUGHT IN THE CROWDS. KERI GIVE ME A BREAK. COLORADO? JOSH YES EVEN COLORADO. THIS IS A VERY GOOD YOUNG TEAM. PEOPLE WANT TO SEE OTHER NL TEAMS PLAY OTHER THAN THE CENTRAL DIVISION TEAMS. WHEN WILL YOU BE ABLE TO SEE TULO OR GUYS LIKE BRAD HAUPE AND TODD HELTON? KERI I GET IT. OK. I’LL COME IN HERE WHEN THERE IS A BIG GAME. I JUST DIDN’T REALIZE COLORADO NOW HAS BECOME A BIG GAME AT WRIGLEY. JOSH WELL THE ROCKIES WERE JUST A WHISPER AWAY FROM THE WORLD SERIES - LOST THREE CLOSE ONES TO PHILLY. MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR THE CUBS IN A PLAY OFF SERIES. WE GO TO BED WHEN WE’RE IN THE PLAYOFFS. KERI MAYBE RICKETTS WILL CHANGE THIS LACKADAISICAL ATTITUDE ON THIS TEAM. JOSH WELL RICKETTS IS LOOKING AT EVERYTHING. HE MAY EVEN COME IN HERE TO WEAGHMAN’S PARK I HEARD. HE WANTS TO FIND OUT WHAT REALLY MAKES WRIGLEY TICK.
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KERI MAYBE YOU CAN GIVE HIM SOME LEINES BOCK THAT GOES ON SALE IN JANUARY. JOSH OH - HE COULD SETTLE FOR SOME FIRESIDE SEASONAL. THE OCTOBERFEST KEG JUST WENT DRY. IT WAS OUR LAST ONE. THESE SEASONAL BEERS FROM THE NORTHWOODS HAVE REALLY CAUGHT ON. GREAT BUSINESS PLAN. KERI IT IS HARD FOR ME TO IMAGINE JOSH WITH ALL YOUR EDUCATION THAT YOUR PARENTS ALLOW YOU TO BE A KID AND LIVE THE LIFE OF AN ULTIMATE CUBS FAN. JOSH OH I’LL BE ON THE GOLD COAST ONE OF THESE DAYS, AND THEN I’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO REVERT TO WHAT I AM NOW. I MIGHT JUST AS WELL ENJOY THE CUBS GET A SERIES WINNING SEASON. KERI SO YOU THINK IT IS COMING? IT HAS ONLY BEEN A HUNDRED PLUS YEARS. YOUR MOM AND DAD WILL BE DOWN HERE ONE NIGHT AND SAY........ENOUGH. JOSH NO THEY ARE COOL. KERI I DON’T BUY IT ONE BIT. I’VE MET YOUR PARENTS. YOUR MOM IS THE TYPE.....WELL....... JOSH WHAT TYPE IS MY MOM SINCE YOU ACT LIKE YOU REALLY KNOW MY PARENTS AFTER TALKING TO THEM JUST A FEW MINUTES. KERI YOUR PARENTS ARE COOL AS YOU SAY. BUT YOUR MOM IS ALSO SAYING BETWEEN HER LINES THAT SHE WANTS THIS CUBS OBSESSION TO END. JOSH THINK SO? MAYBE. BUT I’VE TALKED TO MY PARENTS WHO ARE BOTH AVID CUB FANS........AND THEY UNDERSTAND. KERI I AGREE TO A POINT. MOMS ARE MOMS. THEY WANT THEIR LITTLE BOYS IN HOUSES WITH CUTE WIVES PRODUCING OFFSPRING. JOSH THAT IS SPECULATING. I JUST NEVER THOUGHT A TOM BOY LIKE YOU WOULD SAY THOSE KINDS OF THINGS.
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KERI WELL BASICALLY I’M JUST BEING HONEST AND SPEAKING FROM THE HEART. I DON’T SEE YOUR PARENTS PROMOTING WEAGHMAN’S PARK AS A LIFE LONG OCCUPATION FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS A LAW AND MBA DEGREE. JOSH WE’VE HAD DISCUSSIONS REGARDING THIS AND I WILL MOVE ON SOMEDAY. I GUESS MAYBE WHEN I GET SERIOUS WITH A GIRL WOULD MAYBE BE THE TIME. BUT THAT HASN’T HAPPENED....AND MAYBE NEVER WILL FOR YEARS. KERI WHAT ABOUT MELANIE? JOSH IT JUST NEVER HAPPENED. WE SAW EACH OTHER A FEW TIMES AND THERE WAS ZERO MAGIC. KERI PROBABLY BECAUSE SHE IS BACK CHASING SAM. JOSH SO YOU AND SAM ARE NO LONGER? KERI CORRECT. WE ARE NO LONGER. JOSH WHAT HAPPENED? I ACTUALLY SAW A WEDDING THAT I WOULD HAVE TO ATTEND AND MAYBE EVEN BE GIVEN THE CHANCE TO BE AN USHER. KERI YOU MAY BE GOING TO A WEDDING AND BEING AN USHER........BUT IT WILL NOT BE MINE. JOSH HMMMM……SO YOU ARE ON THE MARKET AGAIN. KERI DEFINITELY. BUT I’VE BEEN TORTURED AND BRUISED. I’M DAMAGED GOODS. NO ONE WOULD WANT ME RIGHT NOW. YES I’M THE MOST AVID FEMALE CUBS FAN ALIVE, BUT AT THIS MOMENT I WOULD BE WILLING TO DISCUSS WITH GOD WHY HE CREATED MEN. JOSH THAT BAD HUH? ARE YOU STILL WORKING? KERI I HAVE THE SAME SOCIAL WORK CLIENTS IN SOUTH CHICAGO WITH THE SAME PROBLEMS. BUT ONE THING I MUST SAY IS THAT THE MEN DOWN THERE NEAR SOX PARK TREAT THEIR WOMEN MUCH BETTER 10
THAN THE NORTH SIDERS. JOSH SO WILL YOU BECOME AN ENEMY - A SOX FAN? KERI I’LL BE DEAD BEFORE I’M A SOX FAN. SOX FANS ARE ¬PRE WESTERN CIVILIZATION. THE VERY WORST. JOSH WELL AT LEAST YOU HAVE YOUR HEAD ON STRAIGHT ABOUT THAT. WHILE YOU ARE SO BUMMED OUT, YOU CAN HANG WITH ME SINCE MY LIFE IS THE CUBS...AND THERE ARE JUST NOT THAT MANY GALS COMING INTO WEAGHMAN’S PARK THAT ARE TRUE SOLID CUB FANS. KERI WELL THESE ARE ALL BORDER PEOPLE YOU SARCASTICALLY TALK ABOUT....YOU KNOW LIKE THE GUYS OVER THERE WITH STOUT HOODIES ON. GIVE ME A BREAK. NO ONE IN CHICAGO EVEN KNOWS WHERE STOUT IS – AND I WOULDN’T EITHER IF YOU HAD NOT MENTIONED MENOMINEE FALLS – CLOSE TO CHIPPEWA FALLS, THE LEINES FACTORY. JOSH I’M TIRED OF LAUGHING AT THESE FOLKS FROM WISCONSIN. BESIDES THEY CANNOT EAT ENOUGH ZUERCHERS’ OR DRINK ENOUGH LEINIES. THE BUSINESS MODEL REALLY WORKS. THE HOT SHOTS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO MBA PROGRAM WOULD FAINT IF THEY SAW OUR BOOKS. KERI WELL I’LL BE BACK. I’VE GOT EARLY CLIENTS TOMORROW. JOSH DON’T WORRY. THEY WON’T CUT SAMARDZIJA. HE’S A LONG TERM CUB GUY WHO MAY TURN THE CORNER. JEFF NEEDS WINTER BALL.
END - CLARK AND ADDISON Episode XVI
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