Clark & Addison - Episode 8 by Sportademics.Com LLC

Clark & Addison

Episode 8 - “STYLE POINTS” A REUNION OF 20 SOMETHING CUB FANS ON THE CORNER OF CLARK AND ADDISON IN CHICAGO - IN A SMALL BAR NAMED WEAGHMAN’S PARK. THE CUBS ORIGINALLY PLAYED AT WEAGHMAN PARK IN CHICAGO BEFORE TRANSFERRING TO CUBS PARK IN 1919 - WHICH BECAME WRIGLEY FIELD IN 1926. NIGHTLY IN DEPTH DISCUSSIONS OF CUBS AND CHICAGO OCCUR AT WEAGHMAN’S PARK. WEAGHMAN’S PARK ONLY SERVES FOOD AND DRINK ORIGINATING FROM ABOVE THE WISCONSIN BORDER . . . SMALL NEIGHBORHOOD WRIGLEY FIELD BAR CALLED WEAGMAN’S PARK WITH ONLY WISCONSIN BEER AND SHEBOYGAN BRATS - A 20 SOMETHING HANGOUT. FOLLOW THE HISTORY OF THE CUBS, BEARS AND BULLS AS SEEN THROUGH THE EYES OF JOSH, ELLIOT, SAM, KERI, MELANIE AND FRIENDS . . . JOSH HEY WILL, HAVE YOU CONNECTED WITH THAT FLIGHT ATTENDANT GAL RECENTLY ? WILL I DON’T SEE IT HAPPENING. NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS. JOSH YOU NEVER KNOW. YOU JUST NEVER KNOW WILL !! WILL I WISHED WE HAD TIME TO GET TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER - BUT SHE IS ALWAYS PUSHING OFF FOR SAN FRANCISCO OR SOMEWHERE ELSE. JOSH WELL - GET HER THINKING. GIVE HER A CALL ON HER CELL AND TELL HER YOU’LL PICK HER UP AT PASSENGER PICK UP INSTEAD OF HER RIDING THE L HOME FROM HER NEXT TRIP. YOU NEVER KNOW. WILL I DON’T KNOW JOSH. I’M LOSING MY CONFIDENCE WITH GIRLS. MAYBE I’LL BE COOL AND JUST LET IT HAPPEN LIKE YOU. JOSH OH - NONE OF US KNOW WHAT THE GREAT CREATOR HAS IN STORE FOR US - THOUGH WE MAY THINK WE DO - WE REALLY DON’T. WILL ENOUGH OF THE RELIGIOUS TALK JOSH. I MAY JUST CALL HER ONE NIGHT AND ASK IF SHE’D LIKE TO COME TO WEAGHMAN’S OR GO TO A BULLS GAME OR SOMETHING. JOSH NOW YOU’RE THINKING.

WILL UNBELIEVABLE - HERE COMES ELLIOTT. JOSH NO WAY. I THOUGHT HE WAS UPSET AT US ABOUT KERI. I NEVER DID FIND OUT ABOUT THE GREEN BAY GAME THAT KERI AND SAM ATTENDED. WILL ALL I KNOW IS THAT IT WAS BONE CHILLING COLD - IN FACT ONE GUY TOLD ME WHO HAS TAILGATED FOR YEARS SAID THE BRATS WERE STONE COLD BY THE TIME THEY WENT FROM THE GRILL TO THE MOUTH. LAKE MICHIGAN WIND WAS THAT COLD. HEY ELLIOTT - HOW’S IT GOING ? ELLIOTT GREAT - I WAS AT THE PACKER GAME AND IT WAS RIDICULOUS. THE COLDEST GAME ON RECORD WITH THE WIND CHILL IN CHICAGO MINUS FOREVER. JOSH SO TELL US ABOUT SAM AND KERI - DID THE GAME DATE WORK ? ELLIOTT WELL KINDA - THEY HAD A GREAT TIME AND AS THE BEARS WERE REALLY PULLING AHEAD AND EVERYONE WAS FREEZING - WELL SAM GOT CALLED IN FOR A BIG TRAUMA AT COOK COUNTY. WILL SO WHERE DID KERI GO THEN ? ELLIOTT I SAW THEM IN THE PARKING LOT AS I HAD TO GO ALSO - AND SHE SAID SHE WAS GOING WITH HIM. I GUESS SHE STAYED THERE FOR 12 HOURS UNTIL HE WAS DONE - AND GUESS WHO SHE RAN INTO AT COOK ? WILL NOT MELANIE ? ELLIOTT YUP ! THERE SHE WAS IN THE SURGEON’S LOUNGE AS SAM GAVE KERI A BIG SMOOCH AS HE WENT INTO SURGERY AND MELANIE WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE. JOSH WHOA ! SAM WILL NEVER LIVE THAT DOWN. MELANIE WILL BLACKBALL HIM FOR THE REST OF HIS RESIDENCY CAREER AT COOK. WILL YEAH . . . BUT HE’S ONLY GOT ABOUT A YEAR AND A HALF LEFT.

ELLIOTT BUT IT MAY BE A TOUGH YEAR AND A HALF IF MELANIE HAS ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT. JOSH WELL I’M GLAD IT WORKED OUT FOR KERI AND SAM. THEY SEEM LIKE A GOOD COUPLE - OUR VERY FIRST 20 SOMETHING COUPLE FROM WEAGHMAN’S’s PARK. WILL YES, MOST OF THE TRUE DATING AND HOOKUPS OCCURS AT BERNIE’S AROUND HERE. ALL WE GET IS THOSE BORDER PEOPLE WHO WANT TO JUST EAT ZUERCHER’S CHEESE AND DRINK LEINIES. JOSH OH MY GOSH - HERE COMES MR. W. AGAIN. DON’T TALK TO HIM THOUGH. WILL YOU MEAN WRIGLEY’S GHOST - THAT’S HIM. AND IT’S NOT EVEN BASEBALL SEASON. ELLIOTT IS THAT GUY A SPY OR WHAT ? WILL NO - ASK JOSH - HE’S THE REAL DEAL - OLD MAN WRIGLEY’S GHOST SITS BEHIND HOME PLATE FOR EVERY GAME AND SAYS NOTHING TO ANYONE. ZERO ! JOSH AND THEN HE COMES IN HERE AND ORDERS WISCONSIN STUFF AND VAPORIZES OUT OF HERE. I’M CONVINCED HE HAS A MODUS COMING HERE SINCE WRIGLEY FIELD WAS CALLED WEAGHMAN’S PARK BEFORE WRIGLEY BOUGHT IT - THAT’S WHY HE IS HERE PERIOD. ELLIOTT WELL HE’S ALREADY ORDERING THE COLBY JACK AGAIN WITH THE RUSSIAN STOUT - CONSISTENCY. IN FACT CAN I GET AN ORDER OF WHAT MR. W. IS EATING JOSH ? JOSH COMING RIGHT UP ELLIOT ELLIOTT AND WHAT A NIGHT - HERE COMES KERI !! JOSH HEY - THERE IS OUR TRUE WEAGHMAN’S PARK BOMBSHELL - MISS KERI !

KERI KEEP THE COMPLIMENTS COMING GUYS. I’LL TAKE ALL I CAN. WILL SO HOW WAS THE DATE AT THAT COLD PACKER BEAR GAME MISS KERI ? COLD ? KERI NO MR WILL - IT WAS EASILY THE WARMEST AND BEST TIME I’VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE. JOSH NO - IT COULDN’T HAVE BEEN MORE FUN THAN THE DELLS ! NOTHING IS MORE FUN THAN THE DELLS ! KERI YES - IT ACTUALLY BEAT THE DELLS - BUT DON’T TELL MY PARENTS THAT ! WILL ANY FOLLOW UP ACTION KERI ? KERI ONLY YOU WILL ASK THOSE QUESTIONS - IN FACT WE’RE GOING OUT TONIGHT AFTER ICU ROUNDS - HE’S COMING DOWN HERE ON THE BUS OR TRAIN - HOWEVER IT WORKS OUT. JOSH HOW LONG ARE ICU ROUNDS ? AREN’T THEY HOURS ? KERI IF SAM MAKES IT - HE MAKES IT ! I MAY JUST GO SEE HIM WHEN HE GETS DONE IF HE DOESN’T HAVE ANY FURTHER ADMITS - WHAT HE CALLS “ HITS “ ELLIOTT SO YOU’LL WANT TO CONTROL YOUR LEINIES INTAKE KERI - WE’LL KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR YOU - A CLOSE EYE. KERI I’M SURE YOU WILL - SO HOW’s THE BAND DOING - ANY MORE TOURNAMENTS ELLIOTT ? ELLIOTT YES - MY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS ARE NEARLY OVER - A KID THAT HAS DRIVEN ME MAD IS MOVING TO PEORIA. WHAT A RELIEF. BUT OUR BAND IS REALLY KICKING BUTT ! JOSH SO ARE YOU GETTING OFFERS FROM OTHER SCHOOLS TO TEACH ELLIOTT ?

ELLIOTT YES - THEY’RE ROLLING IN - AND I WILL SERIOUSLY CONSIDER THESE THOUGH MY STUDENTS WANT ME TO CONSIDER GOING TO BROADWAY OR TRY OUT AGAIN IN DOWNTOWN CHICAGO. KERI WELL - THAT’S PRETTY COOL ELLIOTT. YOU WILL MAKE IT IN THEATER. I KNOW SO. YOUR JUNIOR HIGH BAND HAS BEEN EXEMPLARY AND WILL BE A FEATHER IN YOUR CAP. WILL WELL MISS KERI - WHERE DID YOU COME UP WILL ALL THese ACCOLADEs FOR ELLIOTT ? HE REALLY HASN’T DONE ANY THEATER YET. JOSH CHILL WILL - ELLIOTT WILL. ALL GUYS FROM WIRGLEYVILLE HIGH ARE SUCCESSFUL IN THEIR OWN WAY - LOOK AT HIS BAND - WITH ALL THE AWARDS. THAT THAT’S MORE THAN WE’VE DONE HERE AT WEAGHMAN’S PARK. WILL I GUESS SO. SORRY ELLIOTT. YOU WILL MAKE IT TO RUSH STREET IN CHICAGO AND BETTER YET LA OR BROADWAY THEATER. YOU’RE JUST THAT TYPE OF GUY. ELLIOTT THANKS WILL - COMING FROM YOU THAT IS QUITE A COMPLIMENT. KERI SO GETTING BACK TO BASICS JOSH - WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE LAW SUIT AGAINST THE BEARS OFFENSE ? JOSH WELL WE REFILED AN APPEAL TO THE ILLINOIS SUPREME COURT AND THEY SENT IT TO AN ILLINOIS DISTRICT COURT FOR REVIEW - AND YOU GUESSED IT ! KERI WHAT - I DON’T GET IT ? JOSH WELL AFTER THE SECOND MASSACRE OF GREEN BAY IN DECEMBER OF 07, THE JUDGES ALL LAUGHED AT THIS AND DIDN’T FEEL A PROTEST PERMIT DOWNTOWN WAS WARRANTED. HECK KERI YOU WERE AT THE GAME - IT WAS LIKE CUSTer’S LAST STAND. HOW GREEN BAY GOT WHERE THEY ARE IS UNIMAGINABLE CONSIDERING HOW BAD THE BEARS HAVE BEEN ALL YEAR. IT’S RIDICULOUS. WILL HECK - EVEN OUR PARENTS HAVE BEGUN TO TURN OFF THE TV AT HALFTIME - THINKING WITH THIS PATHETIC OFFENSE WE HAVE NEVER ANY CHANCE TO COME BACK - EVEN IF JUST A FIELD GOAL DOWN. 6

ELLIOTT AND WHAT WILL THEY DO WITH REX NEXT YEAR? I DON’T KNOW IF ORTON IS THE ANSWER EITHER. JOSH LUKE ALSO NEEDS SOME MORE LINEMAN WHO CAN ACTUALLY PUSH SOME FOLKS. KERI WELL THAT WILL BE TOUGH WITH ALL THE STEROIDs, GROWTH HORMONE, AND MULTIPLE OTHER DRUG TESTING GOING ON IN EVERY LEAGUE. JOSH WELL I FEEL LUKE COMES FROM SUCH GOOD FOOTBALL STOCK WITH THE NAME BUTKUS - WELL THAT IN ITSELF SHOULD ATTRACT GREAT PLAYERS FROM ALL OVER. WILL IT’S A DIFFERENT WORLD OUT THERE THESE DAYS. IT’S EVERYMAN FOR HIMSELF - HIGHEST CONTRACT/BIGGEST SIGNING BONUS/ ENDORSEMENTS - YOU NAME IT - THERE’S LITTLE TEAM UNITY SHOWING UP WITH SOME OF THESE “ ENTITLED “ ATHLETES. IT’S JUST THE WAY IT IS. JOSH WELL - YOU FLAT OUT DON’T GET ANYWHERE IF YOU’RE NOT A TEAM. ELLIOTT THAT’S OLD SCHOOL JOSH - HOW DO YOU THINK PLAYERS GET AHEAD THEY PROMOTE THEMSELVES. IT’S ALL PERCEPTION. THAT SIMPLE. JOSH WELL ANYWAY I FEEL THE BEARS SHOULD HAVE THEIR OFFENSE TOTALLY REVAMPED; AND I FEEL NOW MORE THAN EVER WITH A DRAFT COMING UP - WELL THE FANS SHOULD SPEAK UP RE WHAT KIND OF PLAYERS WHEY WANT TO PERFORM ON THIS TEAM. WE NEED POINTS NOT EXCUSES. WILL I JUST DON’T SEE LOVIE BUYING INTO THIS - HE’S SO CONSERVATIVE. ANYWAY I FEEL THAT THE BEARS SHOULD PLAY THE BULLS FOR THE CITY CHAMPIONSHIP OF LOSERS. AND MR. W OVER THERE WANTS ANOTHER ZUERCHER COLBY AND RUSSIAN STOUT LEINIES - HE MUST BE ENJOYING THE SPORTS talk. KERI WILL THE BULLS ARE WITHOUT BACKBONE. THEY SUCK 2/3’s OF THE TIME - THEY EVEN CAN’T KEEP A COACH, PLAYERS GET DRAFTED AND DON’T PLAY WELL CONSISTENTLY. WILL HOW ON EARTH CAN CHICAGO LEAD THE LEAGUE IN ATTENDANCE ?

JOSH IT’S SIMPLE - THE LEGACY OF JORDAN STILL LINGERS AND PEOPLE ARE HOPING THAT SOME PLAYER WILL BE REINCARNATED AND PERFORM LIKE JORDAN. WILL now thats’ hoping for A TRUE MIRACLE. KERI ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE - AND WITH NOAH PLAYING LIKE HE REALLY WANTS TO NOT BE A PART OF THE TEAM - WELL WE’RE REALLY IN TROUBLE. JOSH HECK - THE BULLS HAVE SO MUCH ABILITY. IN FACT THEY KINDA PUSHED DETROIT A BIT LAST YEAR IN THE PLAYOFFS. ELLIOTT WELL IN OUR SOCIETY EVERYTHING GETS BLAMED ON THE COACH. SO OUT WENT SKILES AND IN CAME BOYLAN. OH I FEEL JIM BOYLAN WILL DO BETTER THAN SKILES AND HOPEFULLY GET US INTO THE PLAYOFFS AS WE’RE JUST NOT GETTING IT DONE - AND WE’RE OUT OF THE EAST’S TOP 8 RIGHT NOW. KERI BUT THANK GOD WE’RE IN THE EAST WHERE THERE WILL BE LOSING RECORDS IN THE PLAYOFFS. JOSH WELL SOME FEEL THE BULLS ARE A GOOD INTRAMURAL TEAM - BUT I FEEL IF THEY COULD GET SOME CHEMISTRY - AND NOAH KNOWS WHAT THAT IS - ONLY 2 NCAA CHAMPIONSHIPS AT FLORIDA - A TRULY AMAZING TEAM. KERI HOPEFULLY THIS TEAM CAN GET IT TOGETHER BECAUSE IF THEY CANNOT BOYLAN MAY NOT STAY - HE DOESN’T HAVE A LONG TERM CONTRACT. ELLIOTT WELL THE BULLS DEVELOPMENT TEAM OUT IN IOWA IS ALSO STRUGGLING A BIT. JOSH WHAT DO THEY CALL THEMSELVES - THE IOWA ELECTRIC ? KERI GET WITH THE PROGRAM JOSH - IT’S THE IOWA ENERGY ! JOSH WELL - I’M A CUBS BUFF AND HAVEN’T GOT INTO THE BULLS AS MUCH SINCE JORDAN LEFT - I KNOW THEY’RE STRUGGLING A BIT.

WILL A BIT. THEY FLAT OUT CAN’T SCORE. THERE ARE DAYS WHEN THEY DO LOOK LIKE A TEAM THAT COULD COMPETE FOR THE INTRAMURAL CHAMPIONSHIPS AT LOYOLA. ELLIOTT BUT THERE ARE DAYS WHEN THEY ABSOLUTELY CANNOT BE BEAT. JOSH WELL THE MARK OF A GOOD TEAM IN ANY SPORT IS CONSISTENCY - GIVE BOYLAN A CHANCE - EVEN IF HE IS FROM MARQUETTE. KERI THEY DO HAVE SOME GOOD LOOKING YOUNG TALENT THOUGH. WILL LIKE WHO MISS KERI ? NOAH WITH HIS PONY TAIL OR MULLET ? KERI HECK NO - I’D TAKE SEFOLOSHA, NOCIONI, OR HINRICH ANYDAY. JOSH KERI - WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU RECENTLY ? KERI WHAT DO YOU MEAN ? JOSH WELL 2 FOREIGNERS AND A GUY FROM KANSAS ? KERI WELL THEY ARE FLAT OUT CUTE. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY. JOSH BUT REMEMBER YOU SAID YOU WERE DONE WITH ATHLETES AFTER DATING THE ILLINI QB - AND NOW YOU’RE AFTER ALL THESE JOCKS - GUYS WE JUST TALK ABOUT AND NOW YOU WANT TO DATE THESE GUYS. KERI WELL AGAIN - MAYBE I’M INSECURE. WILL WHAT ABOUT SAM ? KERI I REALLY CAN’T SAY. HE STILL HAS TIME LEFT IN HIS RESIDENCY AND THEN FELLOWSHIP AND THEN STARTING A NEW PRACTICE. ELLIOTT WELL IF A GUY WANTS YOU KERI - THEY CLIMB MOUNTAINS AND......

JOSH SWIM UPSTREAM AGAINST MANEATING SHARKS TO GET TO YOUR HEART. KERI NOW YOU’RE TALKING. JOSH AND THESE BULLS GUYS MAY HAVE TIME FOR GIRLS AFTER THIS SEASON IF THE BULLS CONTINUE THEIR STRUGGLING WAYS.YOU CAN WATCH THE PLAYOFFS WITH THEM RIGHT HERE AT WEAGHMAN’S PARK. ELLIOTT WELL AGAIN JOSH THE BULLS ARE IN THE EAST - AND WE ALL KNOW YOU CAN LOSE AND STILL MAKE THE PLAYOFFS IN THE EAST. KERI BUT YOU WON’T DO SQUAT IN THE PLAYOFFS WITH LOSING RECORDS IN THE REGULAR SEASON. YOU’LL BE DOWN AND OUT QUICKLY IN THE FIRST SERIES - IN FACT YOU MAY EVEN FLAT OUT EMBARRASS YOURSELF. YOU MAY BE BETTER OFF NOT MAKING THE PLAYOFFS. JOSH THE BULLS ARE EASILY THE MOST INCONSISTENT TEAM IN THE LEAGUE. THERE ARE SERIOUS TRADE TALKS - BUT NOBODY REALIZES WHO MAY COME AND GO. KERI AS LONG AS THEY BRING IN CUTE GUYS WHO CAN PLAY - I’M OK WITH A TRADE. WILL WELL WE DON’T CARE WHAT THE PLAYERS LOOK LIKE - WE JUST WANT THEM TO PLAY - AGAIN GUYS CAN’T TELL IF ANOTHER GUY IS CUTE OR NOT - SO THAT IS OBVIOUSLY A MOOT POINT - AT LEAST FOR US GUYS HERE. ELLIOTT WELL NOT SO FAST - I CAN TELL IF A GUY IS ATTRACTIVE OR NOT..... JOSH WELL ELLIOTT - WE DON’T POSSESS THAT GENDER DYSPHORIA THAT YOU SAY YOU HAVE - OR ARE RESOLVING. WILL MEANING WE THINK GUYS WITH MULLETS AND PONY TAILS ON PLAYING FIELDS ARE PROBABLY NOT CUTE - BUT THEN AGAIN WE’RE NOT ATTRACTED TO THEM. KERI DON’T YOU THINK THIS IS GETTING A LITTLE PERSONAL GUYS ? I MEAN LEAVE ELLIOTT ALONE. 10

JOSH WELL KERI - WE JUST DON’T HIDE STUFF HERE AT WEAGHMAN’S PARK WE TELL IT LIKE IT IS. ELLIOTT I’M OK WITH THIS STUFF KERI - I’M NO DIFFERENT THAN 7 - 10% OF THE ADULT POPULATION - WE’RE JUST ATTRACTED TO THE SAME SEX - AND IT’S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. JOSH WELL LEGALLY IT CAN BE WITH REGARDS TO INSURANCE BENEFITS, ADOPTION, INHERITANCE, AND MANY OTHER SOCIAL CUSTOMS AND LAWS. WE HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO FOR EQUALITY AMONGST PRIVACY MATTERS. ELLIOTT HECK - MY PARENTS ARE TOTALLY UNACCEPTING OF MY WAYS. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ? I’M HONEST - I JUST FEEL THIS WAY - AND BESIDES WHO REALLY CARES EXCEPT SOME RELIGIOUS FANATIC WHO FORTUNATELY OR UNFORTUNATELY HASN’T BEEN EXPOSED TO THIS IN THEIR PERSONAL FAMILY THAT THEY KNOW OF AND..... WILL MY FAMILY WOULD CRUCIFY ME IF THEY THOUGHT I WAS GAY OR SOMETHING ELSE - I JUST KNOW SO... KERI MAYBE THEY WOULDN’T YOU JUST FLAT OUT DON’T KNOW UNTIL YOU’RE CONFRONTED WITH THIS. YOUR PARENTS MAY REACT QUITE DIFFERENTLY THAN WHAT YOU ACTUALLY think. JOSH WELL ANYWAY - THE RIGHT OF PRIVACY AS DETERMINED CONSTITUTIONALLY VIA COURT INTERPRETATION HASN’T TAKEN A STRICT SCRUTINY APPROACH TO THIS MATTER - MEANING ANY GOVERNMENT ACTION RESTRICTING PRIVACY RIGHTS FOR SAME SEX COUPLES MUST NOT BE NECESSARY FOR A COMPELLING STATE OR GOVERNMENT INTEREST. ELLIOTT I DIDN’T EVEN UNDERSTAND THAT JOSH. EXPLAIN THAT IN SIMPLE NON LEGAL JARGON. JOSH A LESSER STANDARD OF COURT REVIEW IS NECESSARY FOR GAY RIGHTS PRESENTLY IN MOST JURISDICTIONS. THE PARTY OPPOSING ANY GOVERNMENT ACTION RESTRICTING GAY RIGHTS IN ANY FASHION SUCH AS BENEFITS - MUST PROVE THAT THE GOVERNMENT ACTION ISN’T RATIONALLY BASED FOR A LEGITIMATE STATE CONCERN - THIS IS A DIFFICULT HURDLE FOR THE PARTY OPPOSING THE STATE. ELLIOTT I STILL DON’T GET IT - MORE SIMPLY PUT...

JOSH LET’S SAY YOU WANT MARRIAGE OR SPOUSAL BENEFITS IN A GAY RELATIONSHIP - WELL THE GOVERNMENT IF OPPOSED WILL JUST SIT THERE AND YOU HAVE TO PROVE TO THE COURT THAT THE GOVERNMENT ACTION ISN’T RATIONALLY BASED ON A LEGITIMATE CONCERN - MEANING THE GOVERNMENT CAN SAY WE ARE OPPOSED TO THE BENEFITS FOR ECONOMIC OR FAIRNESS OR CULTURAL/HISTORICAL REASONS. ANY REASON THE COURT MIGHT FIND RATIONAL USUALLY WINS. KERI AS OPPOSED TO WHAT they MIGHT SAY FOR MARRIAGE BETWEEN A MAN AND WOMAN OR THE RIGHT TO BIRTH CONTROL - BECAUSE THAT HAS TO DO WITH PRIVACY BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN. WILL THAT DOESN’T SEEM QUITE RIGHT OR FAIR TO ME ON ITS FACE. JOSH IT’S PROBABLY NOT RIGHT ON ANY ACCOUNT IN ANY JURISDICTION AS WE WOULD EVALUATE THIS. BUT OUR GENERATION DIDN’T MAKE THE LAWS. I AGREE - WHO CARES IF ELLIOTT OR ANYONE ELSE IS GAY - IT’S THEIR LIFE. WILL WELL JOSH - MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST FLAT OUT CHANGE THESE LAWS - YOU WERE THE #1 STUDENT AT U. OF CHICAGO LAW SCHOOL WITH AN MBA IN THE SAME TIME PERIOD... AND EVERY FIRM AND BUSINESS IN TOWN WANTS YOU. JOSH AND I CHOOSE TO WORK AT WEAGHMAN’S PARK. THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER TIME IN MY LIFE WHEN I FLAT OUT CAN ACTUALLY DO THIS LIFESTYLE. HEY - WHAT IF THE GIRL FROM RACINE COMES BACK INTO MY LIFE AND WE HAVE LITTLE KITTENS.I MAY BE AT THE IN LAWS WATCHING ALL THE CUB HIGHLIGHTS BETWEEN DIAPER CHANGES - NEVER SEEING ANY GAMES - EVER FOR YEARS. KERI NOT SO BAD JOSH - YOU’LL HAVE LITTLE LEAGUE TO COACH - THAT WILL ONLY TAKE UP 99% OF YOUR FREE TIME. ELLIOTT AND YOU’LL BE WATCHING THE BEARS AT YOUR PARENTS HOUSE WHILE GRANDMA BABYSITS. WILL AND YOUR TUMMY WILL JUST GROW AND GROW AND YOU’LL TURN REPUBLICAN AND VOTE AT EVERY ELECTION AND.. ELLIOTT AND YOU’LL BE SAYING TO YOURSELF WHILE WATCHING THE BEARS ON CABLE - I COULD’VE APPEALED THIS WOEFUL OFFENSE TO ACTUALLY STAGE A DECENT PROTEST. ONE GOOD GAME AGAINST GREEN BAY AND 12

THE JUDGES TURNED US DOWN. WHAT WILL YOU TELL YOUR LITTLE LEAGUERS ? I COULD’VE STOPPED THIS NONSENSE BUT DIDN’T. JOSH WELL I PROBABLY WON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE BULLS - THEY’LL BE ON THE WAY TO KENOSHA BY THEN. YOU GUYS AND GALS WON’T QUIT - AT LEAST ELLIOTT AND MYSELF CAN TAKE IT - BUT WE BOTH DISH IT OUT. KERI WELL THIS IS A MUCH BETTER CROWD THAN BERNIES DOWN THE STREET - WHERE EVERYONE IS SO CONCERNED ABOUT DATING AND MATCHING UP - AS IF THEY’LL LOSE OUT. WILL ALL I KNOW KERI IS THAT YOU WON’T LOSE OUT IF YOU KEEP WEARING THOSE CUFFED BLUE JEANS. KERI SO YOU THINK THAT IS COOL ? I’M JUST TRYING TO LOOK OK IF I’M FORCED TO GO TO BERNIE’S. JOSH WELL WE’D JUST AS MUCH ENJOY YOU STAYING HERE - KEEPING US UP ON THE BULLS. ELLIOTT WELL AT LEAST THE BULLS, BEARS, CUBS, AND BLACKHAWKS HAVEN’T RECEIVED NATIONAL NEWS WITH STEROIDS, GROWTH HORMONES, OR SUPPLEMENTS AS OF YET - BUT IT MAY COME. KERI THIS IS A TOPIC REAL SENSITIVE TO SAM - HE HAS STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT ALL THIS STUFF. JOSH AND GUESS WHO JUST WALKED INTO THE DOOR - IT’S SAM - WELL DR.SAM - THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST SLEEP MAN. WILL HEY SAM - HOW’S IT GOING ? KERI SAYS YOU’VE DEMANDED THE CUFF BLUE JEAN LOOK. SAM THAT SO - WELL SHE ACTUALLY BROUGHT IT TO COOK COUNTY REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT TO THE RESIDENT AND NURSES LOUNGE WELL SOME OF THOSE NURSES HAVEN’T DRESSED RIGHT IN AGES...AND NOW SEEING KERI THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO DRESS. THEY’RE ALL CUFFING THEIR BLUE JEANS.

JOSH SO THE SURGICAL NURSES ARE SO CONSUMED WITH WORK THEY ARE OUT OF SOCIETY - THEY DON’T GO TO BERNIES - EVER ? SAM NO - BUT THEY MAY START COMING HERE !! WILL EVEN MELANIE ?? KERI MELANIE COMES HERE - WELL I’M DOWN TO BERNIES OR I’LL START MY OWN CLUB NOT ALLOWING THIS WOMAN TO ENTER. JOSH CAN’T DO THAT KERI - IT’S AGAINST THE COMMERCE CLAUSE AND 13TH AMENDMENT - SINCE SERVING FOOD AND BEVERAGE IS INTERSTATE COMMERCE WE CAN NOT EVEN PRIVATELY DISCRIMINATE BASED ON GENDER IN AN ESTABLISHMENT THAT HAS ANY NEXUS TO INTERSTATE BUSINESS. AND THE 13TH AMENDMENT DISALLOWS ANY BADGES OF SLAVERY. KERI ENOUGH JOSH - I JUST WON’T LET THAT WOMAN IN WHERE I’M GOING I’LL GO TO JAIL AND EXPECT YOU TO GET ME OUT. MELANIE DOESN’T GO WHERE I GO. SAM NOW SHE ISN’T THAT BAD KERI - WE JUST PLAYED..... KERI A LITTLE JOKE OF WHICH I WAS THE VICTIM - TOTALLY UNCONSTITUTIONAL, ILLEGAL, IMMORAL, AND VICIOUS. WOULD I KILL IF I HAD THE CHANCE - YES ! JOSH GIRLS TAKE NO PRISONERS ! KERI AND AS FOR YOU SAM MAXWELL - MR. LONG BOMB QUARTERBACK - IF YOU EVER MENTION HER NAME AGAIN... SAM NOW LISTEN KERI - CHILL OUT MELANIE IS NOT COMING AND WE’VE TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE - YOU CAN’T OVER REACT. KERI THE HECK I CAN’T. I WANT TO AND WILL OVER REACT. TOUGH ! WILL WOW THIS IS REALLY A LOVE SPAT. YOU WON’T WIN THIS SAM. NO WAY.

ELLIOTT KERI - WHAT HAS COME OVER YOU LATELY - YOU’RE ON EDGE - IS YOUR SSRI LEVEL GOOD ENOUGH. KERI HECK YES - I’M ON TWO NOW - EFFEXOR AND PAXIL. THAT SHOULD PREVENT ANY KIND OF DOWN FEELING. I CAN WITHSTAND A NUCLEAR ATTACK OF ANY KIND. SAM WELL MAYBE THE DRUGS ARE HAVING REVERSE EFFECTS AS THEY CAN AND EVEN MAKE YOU SUICIDAL. KERI SUICIDAL ? SAM YES KERI - SOME PEOPLE KILL THEMSELVES WHILE ON THESE DRUGS IT’S STATISTICALLY SIGNIFICANT. ELLIOTT SO BE TOTALLY BUMMED OR KILL YOURSELF - I DON’T GET IT ? KERI WELL BEING A 20 SOMETHING GAL WITH A BIOLOGICAL CLOCK WITH AN EVER INCREASING TICKER CAN EMOTIONALLY KILL YOU. WILL SAM - I WOULD FLAT OUT PROPOSE NOW TO PREVENT SUICIDE AND BUMMED FEELINGS AND HAVE AN IMMEDIATE BABY. JOSH WOW - WE’VE NEVER HAD A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL AT WEAGHMAN’S PARK. NEVER. THAT WOULD BE UNBELIEVABLE. SAM HOLD ON GUYS - KERI AND I JUST MET RECENTLY - IT’S GONNA TAKE SOME TIME. KERI WELL IF IT TAKES ANY MORE TIME - WELL I’M OFF TO BERNIE’S WITH MY CUFFED BLUE JEANS. SAM WELL KERI I BETTER GO - I JUST NEVER EXPECTED ALL THIS - I MEAN I DIDN’T THINK IT WAS SO SERIOUS AND THE TWO SSRI DRUGS - I JUST NEVER KNEW. KERI THEY ARE JUST ANTIDEPRESSANTS WITH A LITTLE EXTRA KICK.

WILL MAYBE THE BULLS SHOULD TAKE THESE DRUGS SINCE THESE ARE MEDICALLY LEGAL. JOSH WHAT IF ALL THE BULLS THEN COMMITTED SUICIDE ON THE DRUGS ? ELLIOTT THAT’S EASY - THERE IS THE IOWA ENERGY IN DES MOINES IN THE D LEAGUE - THEY COULDN’T DO ANY WORSE. WILL BUT THEY ARE ALSO STRUGGLING. THE ENERGY ARE BEHIND DAKOTA AND SIOUX FALLS IN THEIR DIVISION. JOSH JUST A SECOND - MR W. WANTS ANOTHER ZUERCHER AGED SWISS WHICH WE ARE NEARLY OUT OF - WE NEED TO ORDER LIKE TONIGHT. HE ALSO WANTS TO KNOW WHAT IS THE D LEAGUE. WILL MR. W. IS TALKING - WELL WE’RE GETTING CLOSER TO SPRING BREAK AND HE OCCASIONALLY SAYS STUFF - YES I HAVE HEARD HIM BEFORE - THIS LOW MONOTONE GHOST LIKE VOICE. JOSH WELL HERE COMES THE AGED SWISS AND THE RUSSIAN STOUT LEINIES TO GO MR.W.. THE D LEAGUE MEANS DEVELOPMENTAL LEAGUE FOR THE NBA. KERI HE’S NODDING - THAT’S PRETTY COOL. IS HE REALLY OLD MAN WRIGLEY’S GHOST ? JOSH I REALLY DON’T KNOW - AGAIN ALL HE DOES IS VANISH - EITHER INTO WRIGLEYVILLE OR ROCKFORD - AS ONE PATRON SWEARS HE SAW HIM THERE ONE DAY A WHILE BACK. WILL WHY WOULD HE GO TO ROCKFORD ? ALL THEY HAVE THEIR IS DRAGSTER RACES ! SAM ROCKFORD MAY BE A GOOD HIDEOUT. JOSH ALL I KNOW IS THAT MR. W. IS ALL THE TIME SITTING BEHIND HOME PLATE AND SERIOUSLY TAKING ALL THE ACTION IN WITHOUT SAYING A WORD. WHY HE COMES INTO WEAGHMAN’S PARK IS ANYBODY’S GUESS ?

ELLIOTT THAT’S EASY JOSH - THIS WAS THE NAME OF THE PARK BEFORE IT WAS RENAMED WRIGLEY FIELD - HE REMINISCES ABOUT WHAT HE CREATED. KERI PRETTY COOL THOUGHTS ELLIOTT. JOSH WELL ANYWAY SOME NIGHTS I WOULD TAKE THE ENERGY OVER THE BULLS IF THEY ALL DIED FROM SSRI DRUGS - WE CANNOT BEAT ANYONE LATELY - WE ARE BETWEEN 350 AND 400. OUR BALL MOVEMENT IS FATAL. KERI WELL I’M CERTAIN SAM WOULD BE AGAINST ALL FORMS OF PERFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUGS - RIGHT SAM ? SAM EVERYONE REALLY IS IF THEY ACTUALLY SEE WHAT HAPPENS AS MANY OF THESE DRUGS AFFECT EVERY ORGAN SYSTEM - BONES, VISION, HAIR, SKIN, MUSCLE, TENDONS, LIGAMENTS, INTERNAL ORGANS, NERVOUS SYSTEM - YOU NAME IT - AND THE EFFECTS ARE NEGATIVE ALL THE WAY. WILL BUT I THOUGHT THERE WERE NO DOUBLE BLIND HUMAN OR ANIMAL STUDIES TO PROVE THESE DRUGS ARE HARMFUL. ELLIOTT MAYBE WE COULD EXPERIMENT ON THE BULLS WITH THESE DRUGS. KERI YOU GUYS ARE BEING REAL HARD ON THE BULLS - WHAT IF THEY GET IT TOGETHER WITH A TRADE OR THEY HIT FIRE ? JOSH WE’D BE ALL FOR THAT BIG TIME. BUT ANYWAY BACK TO THE DRUGS DR. SAM MAXWELL. SAM AS MUCH AS I HATE TO ADMIT IT - THERE ARE MANY UNKNOWNS - ESPECIALLY WITH NON FDA APPROVED DRUGS - ESPECIALLY WITH PURITY. JOSH YOU MEAN THESE PERFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUGS MAY HAVE BACTERIA AND OTHER STUFF IN THEM ? KERI JOSH IS SMELLING SUIT - I CAN FEEL IT !

SAM NO - IT HAS NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH MEDICAL LEGAL STUFF. IT’S OUR YOUTH BEING LED INTO THINKING THESE DRUGS ARE GOOD IF ATHLETIC SUPERSTARS TAKE THEM FOR NON MEDICAL REASONS. JOSH ISN’T THERE TRULY A FINE LINE BETWEEN PERFORMANCE ENHANCING AND MEDICAL TREATMENT DRUGS DR. SAM ? SAM YOU BET - BUT I MUST SAY THAT MANY ATHLETES GET DESPERATE ABOUT THEIR STATS, DRAGGING GRINDING INJURIES FOR WHICH CONVENTIONAL MEDICINES DO LITTLE, AND MULTIMILLION DOLLAR CONTRACTS. WILL SO THEY JUST WILY NILY TAKE THESE DRUGS FROM A TRAINER OR LAY PERSON - HERBALIST OR ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE GUY ? SAM YOU BET - AND MUCH OF THE EFFECT IS PSYCHOLOGICAL - AS PLACEBO EFFECT IN MEDICINE IS APPROXIMATELY 30 %. JOSH I READ THE OTHER DAY THAT GROWTH HORMONE MAY BE A VITAMIN IN 5 OR 10 YEARS - AND IT MAY HAVE ANTI AGING EFFECTS SO ALL THE BALL PLAYERS LIKE CLEMENS AND PETIT AND ALL THE REST NAMED IN THE MITCHELL COMMISSION MAY ACTUALLY BE IN FRONT OF THE GAME AND SCIENCE. SAM WE JUST DON’T KNOW. I WOULD WAIT UNTIL THE FINAL WORD IS IN BEFORE TAKING THESE DRUGS BECAUSE THEY ARE NOW ILLEGAL IN MOST SPORTS, YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GETTING REGARDING PURITY, AND THEY MAY IN FACT KILL OR HARM YOU PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY. JOSH YOU’RE LIKE THE SPOKESPERSON FOR ALL PROFESSIONAL LEAGUES. SAM WELL WE’VE KNOWN THIS FOR MANY YEARS AND NOW IT’S JUST BEING MORE PUBLICIZED. DOES IT MAKE YOU HIT HOMERS OR BLOCK BETTER OR HAVE A HIGHER ON BASE per centage - WE JUST DON’T KNOW - AND FOR THAT MATTER IT MAY LOWER ALL THESE STATS. I COULD TALK ALL NIGHT ABOUT THIS STUFF MEDICALLY. KERI NO YOU WON’T SAM - WE’RE OUT OF HERE ! SO LONG EVERYONE. WILL ARE YOU GUYS HEADING OVER TO BERNIES ?

KERI NO I DON’T HAVE MY JEANS CUFFED !

END - EPISODE 8, CLARK AND ADDISON