FRANKLY - The Happiness Issue

Fr Rob’S

got the X-Factor

Footy & Faith

NRL’s Matt King

HOLY BOOZE! BLESS ALL THE DRINKS...

Eco-Fertility trends

Our Many Marriages

Falling in love again & again

Seeking Happiness

Happy kids, Happy family

POPE TALK

ART FEATURE

quotes from pope FRANCIS ... 2

INSPIRED art ...14

The Joy of Love

PARENTING

On the Wall

CATHOLIC CULTURE

Seeking Happiness

Holy Beer, Wine & Spirits

HaPPY KIDS, HAPPY FAMILY ... 18

A catholic guide to booze ... 32

MONEY

LIFE MATTERS

tips for finaNcial success ... 52

eco-fertility meets technology ...64

The Happiest People I Know

CELEBRITIES

Goin’ Natural

INSPIRATION

Faith Under the Spotlight

Selfie Culture

Rob galea & matt king ...82

and the theology of the body ... 92

RELATIONSHIPS

PHOTO ESSAY

Our Many Marriages

Wedding Traditions

falling in love again & again ...102

inspired customs ...116

Welcome!

FRANKLY Alive!

We have so much great material that we’d like to share, it just isn’t possible to print it all here. So we’ve partnered with Blippar to augment your reading experience with fabulous digital content. Simply download Blippar in the App/Playstore to your smartphone. Whenever you see the ‘info’ symbol, scan the page to access weblinks, videos, polls, and more. And don’t forget to blipp the back cover to open the photobooth to take a selfie with Pope Francis Don’t have a smartphone? You can access the material at the FRANKLY mag website.

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Pope Talk 2

The Joy of Love (Amoris Laetitia) is Pope Francis’ reflection on love in the family.

In the letter, he draws together the insights of a two-year consultation involving the whole Church.

Archbishop Christopher Prowse, the archbishop of Canberra and Goulburn, draws upon a sports analogy to explain the spirit in which the Pope offers the Joy of Love:

the

“In any team sport, we need both a referee or umpire and a coach. The referee is there to make sure that the rules are understood and that the players are pulled up when they break them. The coach plays a different but complementary role – he encourages and teaches, trains and prepares so that the players can improve and reach for the ideals enshrined in sport.”

Love

Pope Talk

Joy

of

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The Pope wants us to know that the Church is like a coach who can encourage us in the face of setbacks and defeat.

“The coach helps us to never lose hope, but to keep responding to the loving mercy of Jesus to embrace the ideal that is offered by the Church,” says the archbishop.

Enjoy on the following pages some thoughts offered by an expert coach in the ways of true love and happiness.

Archbishop Christopher Prowse of Canberra-Golburn made these remarks at a Guinness and God event in 2016.

Blipp for more or visit FRANKLYmag.org

Pope Talk 4

A Mosaic of

family

Pope Talk 5

There is no stereotype of the ideal family, but rather a challenging mosaic made up of many different realities, with all their joys, hopes and problems... In every situation that presents itself, ‘the Church is conscious of the need to offer a word of truth and hope.’ AL 57 The Church is a family of families, constantly enriched by the lives of all those domestic churches. AL 87

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Pope Talk

Pope Talk 7

Love in the

LittleThings In the family... three words need to be used. I want to repeat this!

Three words: ‘Please’, ‘Thank you’, ‘Sorry’. Three essential words!

AL 133

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Pope Talk

Pope Talk 9

Dear

Mothers...

With great affection I urge all future mothers: keep happy and let nothing rob you of the interior joy of motherhood.

Your child deserves your happiness. Don’t let fears, worries, other people’s comments or problems lessen your joy at being God’s means of bringing a new life to the world.

AL 171

Complicated

Pope Talk

Situations

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I encourage the faithful who find themselves in complicated situations to speak confidently with their pastors or with other lay people whose lives are committed to the Lord. They may not always encounter in them a confirmation of their own ideas or desires, but they will surely receive some light to help them better understand their situation and discover a path to personal growth.

AL 312

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Pope Talk

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Pope Talk

Together All of us are called to keep striving towards something greater than ourselves and our families, and every family must feel this constant impulse. Let us make this journey as families, let us keep walking together. What we have been promised is greater than we can imagine. May we never lose heart because of our limitations, or ever stop seeking that fullness of love and communion which God holds out before us.

AL 325

Pope Talk

Going Forward

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Art Feature

Inspired Street

Art

Christian artists, inspired by their faith, are taking the Gospel to the streets. Their arresting artwork brings life and culture to the urban landscape.

PoPe Francis Prays Artist Unknown Mexico

One of the 50 murals painted by graffiti artists along a wall to welcome Pope Francis to Mexico in February 2016.

Photo credit: Ronaldo Schmidt/Getty

Art Feature

on the wall

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purity of the heart El-Mac DENMARK

Art Feature

Photo supplied by the artist

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Pop(e) art Sarann Ryan AUSTRALIA This portrait of Pope Francis was inspired by his playfulness. The illustrator used digital tools to construct the image using over 1300 individually coloured shapes.

Blipp Pope Francis to see a timelapse video of the evolution of the final design or visit FRANKLYmag.org

ONE MINUTE CATHOLIC

Evangelist You don’t have to be an artist to take your faith to the street.

Arthur Stace (1885-1967) was born in Sydney Australia. As a teenager, he became an alcoholic and was a petty criminal. He converted to Christianity and after hearing an inspiration sermon on ‘Eternity’, he began to write it in chalk on the streets of Sydney in the early hours of the morning.

Over the next 35 years, the characteristic copperplate script became legendary among Sydney-siders though the writer remained unknown.

His identity was eventually discovered some years before his death. He estimated that he wrote the word ‘Eternity’ around 500,000 times. His contribution to city life was honoured at the 2000 New Year’s Eve Sydney celebrations when the Harbour Bridge was adorned in fireworks displaying his famous ‘Eternity’.

So what are you waiting for?

Chalk up the sidewalk with some inspiring messages for your neighbours! Send us your instagram pics @franklymag #streetfaith Blipp to see Banksy, the world’s most famous graffiti artist comment in paint on ‘Eternity’ or visit FRANKLYmag.org

Photo Credit: Trevor Dallen, Fairfax Media

Art Feature

Street

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Parenting 18

Happiness

Parenting 19

What do you most want for your children?

When asked this question, most parents answer something along the lines of:

“I just want them to be happy.”

Every parent should want their kids to be happy but what do we mean by the word ‘happy’?

Is this the highest goal or is there something more we should desire for our children from which happiness will emerge?

Parenting

Is Happiness enough?

Research in the positive psychology field has brought science to the art of happiness. One of the key findings is that what we think of as ‘happiness’ encompasses three distinct experiences.

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1

2

3

Hedonistic

Engaged

Meaningful

is the kind of relief we get from having a desire satisfied, like eating when we are hungry (a desire) fills our stomach (relief).

Relief of this kind of desire is temporary – eventually the desire returns, sometimes even stronger than it was before.

is sometimes called ‘flow’.

It’s the experience of being fully absorbed in a task. It is usually associated with a sense of losing track of time and the intense satisfaction that comes with accomplishment.

is the experience of meaning and fulfilment that comes from being of service to others, of loving and belonging. It takes longer to establish but once acquired, it is a more sustained emotion that persists beyond the activity itself as it engenders personal development and growth.

happiness

happiness

happiness

On the other hand, those who pursue meaningful happiness through relationships of service and belonging typically enjoy long lasting joy.

This really isn’t news. The Greek philosopher Aristotle was writing over 2000 years ago about ‘The Good Life’. He recognised that the most reliable way to lead a fulfilling life was to develop virtues – spiritual strengths like courage, honesty, wisdom, compassion, work ethic and so on. Christians and Jews will also recognise in the happiness research many of the principles of moral living that are central to those religions. In fact, Catholic culture is founded on the idea of meaningful happiness and is a great place to access practical applications of this science.

Parenting

People who focus exclusively on the first of these dimensions, hedonistic happiness, tend to report lower overall life satisfaction.

The self-centred pursuit of desire gratification doesn’t make for enduring fulfilment. Hedonistic happiness tends to be the kind of happiness experience that dominates parenting decisions in our modern era as it has rapid. When a child is complaining or feels bored or hungry, our instinct is to satisfy it – and quickly!

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“We tend to parent in negatives – we don’t want our kids to ‘miss out’, don’t want them to experience boredom, frustration, embarrasmeent or peer inferiority. So we give them whatever they want. Anything to stop the whining! Fear-driven parenting like this trains children to be consumers and dependent on others and on things for happiness. Ultimately it disadvantages them in life.” Francine Pirola Blipp the science of happiness or for more on visit FRANKLYmag.org

Parenting

Making happier

kids & families

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Let’s ask the question again: Is happiness the highest ambition we should have for our kids?

Looking at the science, the answer is that it depends on what kind of happiness we are talking about. Here are three factors that improve our kids’ meaningful, lasting happiness.

2.

Slowing down

Power memories

“Hurry is the enemy of love” says psychologist Steve Biddulph. The author of Raising Boys, Raising Girls and Manhood strongly disagrees with the idea that ‘quality’ time matters most in raising kids to be confident and happy.

Families need extraordinary moments as well and family traditions are great for providing these. They create shared memories which strengthen family bonds, connect the generations, and pass on a sense of identity and cultural and religious heritage. Traditions can bring a bit of magic and fun to life. And they provide comfort, security, and healing from loss and trauma.

What they need is lots of time with us. This is true for younger teenagers as well as children.

One-on-one time especially improves relationships.

It can be tempting to focus on spending the big bucks on creating the grand memories from special holidays or birthday parties, and forget that active involvement on a daily basis, doing regular things, is what builds the bonds between parents and their children over time.

The author urges families to do whatever we can to slow life down so we can spend more time with each other on a daily basis.

“Our family traditions form part of our family culture,” says Dr Justin Coulson, author of 21 Days to a Happier Family.

“At the heart of every family tradition is a meaningful experience that has the potential to increase our well-being.

“They also help us feel happier as we look back and reflect on the tradition.

Psychologists call this process ‘savouring’ and it is strongly linked to happiness.”

Blipp for more on Dr Justin’s online parenting course at thestickkit.co or visit FRANKLYmag.org

Parenting

1.

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3.

Parenting

Smart habits

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Dr Andy Mullins, author of Parenting for Character, writes that happiness is found in effective habits of thinking, choosing and acting, with a consistent ‘loving intention’ and that our children won’t discover this by chance. These effective habits are the virtues. Habits of hard work, integrity, gratitude, humility, a positive attitude and self-control are virtues which have been linked to human happiness.

Children who are encouraged to develop these virtues develop greater resilience, and gain “attractive, big-hearted happiness”.

His insight is backed up by research, including a 40-year and still ongoing study in New Zealand which linked self-control in children as young as three years old to better health, finances, and relationship to the law as adults.

Blipp to watch Dr Mullins talk on parenting for happiness, to read more on the Dunedin Multidisciplinary Health and Development Study, or visit FRANKLYmag.org

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Parenting

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Parenting

When parents think of ‘discipline’ they are usually thinking in terms of ‘punishment’. But another definition is ‘instruction’. Dr Justin Coulson points out that the meaning of discipline has shifted over time. It comes from the Latin ‘disciplina’ meaning ‘teaching’, and ‘discipulus’ meaning ‘pupil.’

“When we ‘discipline’ our children, we guide, teach and instruct them to be our pupils, students or followers.

Our aim is not to punish. It is to teach them good ways to act.”

He says the most effective discipline happens when there is a foundation of trust, emotional availability, and a willingness to be truly in the moment when we are interacting with our children.

“We have to get our relationship right before we can discipline, or teach, our children. When we get our relationships right, and respond to our children in ways that teach, we find that traditional ‘discipline’ (in other words, punishment) is required far less.” That’s got to make everyone happier!

Biblical fact point It’s not surprising, that ‘discipline’ and ‘disciple’ share common roots. Jesus called disciples the people he chose to teach about God’s plan for life and love.

Parenting

Discipline with l ve

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e r inven y h w t

Parenting 28

eel? h w e h t

One of the joys of family life is celebrating old traditions and creating new ones.

We don’t have to look far to find them, nor continually re-invent the wheel. Our Catholic traditions and practices are a rich resource for families wanting to build or improve on their meaningful happiness.

This is our pick of some of the best family traditions for bringing us closer to each other and to God.

Name that baby

Blipp for more tips for Catholic Families or visit www.CathFamily.org

Take a breather

Pope Francis wrote of the special privilege God gives to parents to name their child by which he or she ‘will be known for all eternity’. Choosing a Christian name for our children cements both their uniqueness and belonging in the Catholic community, giving them a sense of belonging and culture.

Placing Sunday Mass (or the Saturday vigil) as an anchor point in our hectic week lets us pause and take an existential breather before plunging into the next one.

It’s a time to remember and give thanks for all our blessings. It’s also a space where we can be nourished spiritually

by Jesus and the community.

Everybody loves Christmas!

Parenting

The bigger feast days like Christmas and Easter, and celebrations such as weddings and baptisms inject real joy into our lives and opportunities to build life-long happy memories. Even funerals are often deeply special times to honour the best and dearest memories of loved ones.

Tell stories Our family’s best stories are invaluable for meaningful happiness, and so are the stories of our wider Christian family – the Gospels, Jesus’ parables, and all the tales of ancient to modern day saints and heroes. Whether we bond over a wise and articulate pastor or the funniest comedian in our family, stories have the power to unite us.

Get together It’s often said that it ‘takes a village to raise a child’. Parish communites are a great resource for families in providing ready-made support networks for building a village.

There are social studies which show that kids raised in faith communities tend to have better relationships with their family and improved social and emotional outcomes.

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One Minute Catholic 30

ONE MINUTE CATHOLIC

modern prayer

Alert

We don’t have many church bells ringing out in our urban environments, but we do have plenty of sirens. Whether they come from the police, fire and rescue services, or an ambulance, the sound of an oncoming siren sharpens our attention to the fragility of life.

When a siren wakes us to the present, say a short prayer for the safety of the first responders and those they are assisting.

If ever you are in the situation of waiting for emergency help, won’t it be nice to know that others are praying for you?

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Parenting

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Culture

A Catholic’s Guide to Life with the Spirits

Culture

Holy Spirits

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Culture

Good News

about Booze

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Alcohol in the Bible Alcohol makes frequent appearances in the scriptures as an integral part of celebration and communion.

For example, in his letter to the Ephesians, St Paul speaks about rejecting the pagan lifestyle to follow Christ. He cautions against drunkenness as it can lead to “fornication, adultery, greed and vulgar talk” (Eph 5: 18). Yet in his letter to Timothy he urges, “You should give up drinking only water and take a little wine for the sake of your digestion”(1 Tim 5:23).

Similarly, John the Baptist was known as a holy man who lived an ascetic lifestyle which included the total rejection of wine.

Yet there is no evidence that Jesus did the same. Quite the opposite! For example, there are several cases in scripture where Jesus is accused of eating and drinking with sinners (Luke 7:34). Moreover, his first public miracle involved turning water into wine and the Last Supper included wine as an essential element of the Passover ritual.

No wonder the acceptability of alcohol has been a subject of difference among Christians! In fact, the Temperance movement, a reaction against alcohol excess, was founded largely by Christians who drew on biblical references to support their position. It gained significant momentum in 1919 when it succeeded in having alcohol banned in the USA through a constitutional ammendment.

The prohibition was reversed in 1933 by another ammendment.

During the 14 years of prohibition, alcohol related illness declined dramatically despite flagrant law-breaking and the burgeoning of illegal distilleries.

While there were some examples of Catholic support for the Temperance movement, including papal statements from Popes Leo 13th and Pius 10th, the Church stopped short of supporting total abstinence in favour of moderation. One famous Catholic author has summed up the Church’s perspective on alcohol pretty well:

“Thank God for beer and burgundy by not drinking too much of them.”

GK Chesterton

Catholic drinking?

Is there such a thing as ‘Catholic drinking’ as modelled by Christ? A way of moderation that appreciates alcoholic beverages but avoids excess and the destructive impact of drunkenness?

Culture

There are numerous references in the Bible to alcohol. Some appear to favour it while others condemn it.

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The Temperance Movement

Culture

One of the important contributions of the Temperance movement was the foundation and spread of Alcoholics Anonymous and the Twelve Step Recovery Method – a powerful process for assisting people to break free of addictive substances and behaviours including alcohol, drugs, gambling and sex.

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The Temperance movement and its extreme cousin, Teetotalism, gained significant momentum particularly in America during the 1800-1900s. This iconic photo features the cast of the 1901 silent comedy sketch, The Kansas Saloon Smashers. It parodied the Teetotal movement whose members ransacked bars in their advocacy for prohibition.

Photo credit : The Art Archive at Art Resource, Š The Picture Desk Ltd

Blipp to view a classic silent movie or visit FRANKLYmag.org

Culture 37

“Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a bath, and a glass of good wine.�

St Thomas Aquinas

St Thomas Aquinas, painting attributed to Sandro Botticelli, 15th century. (The Granger Collection, New York)

Culture 38

What’s a wedding without wine?

One of the most famous miracles of Jesus was his first, which took place at the wedding at Cana. Cana was a small town in the Galilee region where Jesus lived.

He, his mother Mary, and several disciples attended the wedding which continued for several days. At some time, Mary approached Jesus to alert him to the fact that the wine had run out.

Apparently Jesus was not so interested in the wine problem and rebuffed his mother with the words “My hour has not yet come.”

Undaunted, Mary instructed the servants to follow his directions. Jesus subsequently ordered them to fill six stone jars (about 560 litres) with water and to give a sample to the steward. The steward declared it better wine than that already served!

Jewish traditions The Sabbath tradition traces its roots to the very first book of the Bible: Genesis. Here we read that God created the world over six days, declaring the seventh a day of rest.

Called ‘Shabbat’ in Hebrew (or Saturday in English), this day was set aside for worship and for savouring the good things of God’s creation. It definitely included wine.

To this day, Jewish families the world over begin their Sabbath at sundown on the Friday evening with special blessings of bread and wine. These blessings are also used in the Catholic Mass where the gifts of bread and wine are blessed before they are transformed into the body and blood of Christ.

If we could point out: it was a serious volume of wine! God is always generous in his gifts and gives abundantly.

Blipp to read or watch the Cana story in the Bible (John 2:1-11) or visit FRANKLYmag.org

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Culture

Culture 40

Drinking That Brings Us

Closer to God And Each Other Michael Foley, in his book Drinking with the Saints: The Sinner’s Guide to a Holy Happy Hour, writes of ‘sacramental’ drinking:

“Sacramental drinking has two aspects. The first is recognising all creation as a sacramentum or ‘divine sign’ pointing to some aspect of God’s goodness and love for us.”

The Church Fathers, for example, saw the natural world through a lens of awe and wonder for the One who made it. While the process of making alcohol seems very mundane now, for everyone before the 20th century, turning grape juice into wine was a mysterious process that seemingly could not happen without a spark of the divine.

Modern sacramental drinking is about re-injecting that wonder and mystery into drinking attitudes.

“Second, if alcohol is a gift from God and a divine sign pointing back to God, the appropriate reaction is not to abuse it but to use it in keeping with the mind and intention of the Giver.”

This attitude is particularly key to reinforcing a healthier approach to alcohol that is the middle ground between total prohibition and indulgent excess.

But what might be the intention of the giver?

Given the example of Jesus, it seems that good food, a good wine and great friends are a recipe for great conversations and deeper communion. Sacramental drinking is meant to be social; celebrations and blessings are multiplied with good company!

Blipp Michael P. Foley’s Drinking with the Saints, for cocktail recipes, and beer and wine recommendations for the whole gamut of Catholic feast days and seasonal celebrations.

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Culture

Culture 42

DRUNK Monks and other Spirited Catholics The Catholic story of alcohol continues beyond biblical times. Here’s a sampling of some of the more interesting ones, including Australia’s unique contribution.

Trappist beer Originating in the Cistercian monastery (~1600s) of La Trappe, France, the Trappist Order followed a strict rule of life that included the requirement for the monastery to be self-supporting. Though many monastic breweries were destroyed during the French Revolution and the World Wars, eleven exist today and sell it as ‘Authentic Trappist Product’. Beware the imposters who have attempted to profit from the Trappist reputation but do not conform to the uniquely Trappist ‘Strict Observance’.

Photo Credit: © Philip Rowlands/Wikimedia Commons/CC-BY-SA-3.0

Dom Pierre (1638 – 1715) was a French Benedictine monk. He made important contributions to the production of champagne when the region’s wines were predominantly red.

Though he didn’t invent sparkling champagne, Dom Pérignon is named after him.

Photo Credit: Bas relief representing Dom Perignon, das le cloitre de l’ancienne abbaye d’Hautvillers© User:October Ends/Wikimedia Commons/CCBY-SA-3.0

Benedictine Abbey Wines & Ale New Norcia (WA) is Australia’s only monastic town. Founded in 1847 by Spanish Benedictine Monks, it produces olive oil, wine and beer. Although the original vineyards are no longer productive, grapes grown in the area are matured in the ancient Abbey cellars. Abbey Ale is brewed in NSW and also shipped to the Abbey cellars for aging.

Photo: Supplied by Benedictine Abbey, New Norcia

Culture

Dom (Br) Pierre Pérignon

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Culture

Seven Hill Cellars Established in 1851 in Clare Valley, SA, Sevenhill is the birthplace of the Jesuits in Australia. The complex which includes the St Aloysius church, boys’ college, former seminary (now spirituality centre) and vineyard, enjoy a rich history. Originally established to produce sacramental wine for use in Catholic Masses, the vineyard also produces premium table wines.

Photo Credit: Supplied by Sevenhill Wine, Clare Valley

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Good Catholic Girl Raised in the vineyard of her father and inspired by her Catholic faith and that of her ancestors, Julie Barry established her own vineyard in the Armagh area of Clare in 1997. Some of her wines sport striking labels inspired by holy cards.

Photo Credit: Supplied by Good Catholic Girl

Blipp for more or visit FRANKLYmag.org

Tim Kirk is the CEO and chief winemaker of Clonakilla wines. He was awarded Australian winemaker of the year in 2013 and the estate’s flagship wine, its Shiraz Viognier, is celebrated by wine lovers and connoisseurs world-wide.

Clonakilla was established by Tim’s father, Dr John Kirk, just out of the quiet Murrumbateman village, 40kms north of Canberra.

Tim left his teaching career and moved with his wife, Lara, and young family to work full time at the vineyard in 1996. Since then its wine production has seen a 30-fold increase, garnered international success, and the Clonakilla story has become part of Australian winemaking history.

Culture

Wine as the landscape’s song

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Culture

Distracted by wine?

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What is less known is the deep Catholic faith that sustains both Tim and Lara.

Tim is the head of the international council of the Disciples of Jesus covenant community – a community of families, single people, and priests. His faith drives Tim’s approach to everything in life, including the family business.

“I asked my retreat director, a very wise old Jesuit priest, ‘What am I supposed to do about this constant distraction?’ He replied, ‘Why do you assume it’s a distraction?’

Meaning, that I had come here in good faith, to try to listen to what God was telling me and maybe God was prompting me to make this life change.

As a religious education coordinator at a Jesuit school, every year he had to attend a prayer retreat and reflect on scripture passages as part of it.

“Within six months I was back at Murrumbateman as Clonakilla winemaker and general manager.

“On my last one, every time I tried to reflect on the scriptures I found myself thinking about the best way to make a Shiraz.

More than just a drink

“Clonakilla’s success is not all up to me, I’ve got very good staff who work very hard,” he says.

Tim says his faith deepens his appreciation for the wine they make at Clonakilla, and that there can even be a “theology of wine”.

“But my faith and the hopeful attitude I have towards people is I think reflected in how I conduct our business. It comes from an ingrained sense of the unique dignity of every single person, whether they’re customers, suppliers, or colleagues in the industry.

“Jesus loved to use agricultural images to describe the Kingdom of God, and often spoke about seeds and trees and things that have growth inherent in them,” he says.

“The basis of my values are Christian and I certainly don’t hide them. Ours is a very dynamic and successful business that continues to grow, and I tell people that it has been really blessed.”

Tim begins each morning with up to an hour of prayer and reading of scripture, usually the day’s Mass readings, before going for a walk before work.

“I continue my prayer as I walk. I contemplate, I praise God, I pray for situations I’m aware of that need God’s help. Walking with Jesus is a very conscious and intentional daily journey with me.”

Blipp for information on the Disciples of Jesus or visit FRANKLYmag.org Clonakilla Images by Janine Doyle.

My Family My Faith. Vol 2/2016 Archdiocese of Canberra and Gouburn.

“God is the creator of everything that exists, and this truth is revealed through creation. One of the ways we can enter into the experience of the divine is by stepping back and appreciating the utter beauty and dignity of creation.

“We do that when we try to capture the essence of this particular landscape which is God’s gift; to grow vines in that landscape, with the beautiful slope of its hills, the complexity of its ancient decomposed granite soil, and the continental cool climate we have here at Murrumbateman.”

“We try to capture all of that God-given beauty and dignity and express it through the medium of wine.

It’s like giving the landscape a voice.”

Culture

Dynamic values

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Drinking with

St Mary Mackillop Culture

Kiara Pirola

Australia’s first saint was known for imbibing brandy to relieve the painful symptoms of endometriosis.

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This was a prescription given to her by her doctor and she was a responsible and careful patient. However, that didn’t stop her detractors from accusing her of being a drunkard and morally suspect.

In light of the fact that St Mary Mack’s Feast day is in southern winter, that she managed her medication like a pro, and she lived during the height of Teetotalism, it’s very fitting to celebrate her accomplishments with a brandy-based cocktail!

The Winter Joey is an eggnog variation that is perfect for evenings around a fire.

Doctor’s Orders is a simple drink with brandy and herbal liqueur layered in a snifter or goblet. Both brandy and various types of herbal liqueur (such as Benedictine) have been prescribed as medicine and can be served neat or over ice.

St Mary of the Cross MacKillop Feast Day: August 8th

St Mary of the Cross is the courageous and controversial founder of the Sisters of St Joseph - an order dedicated to teaching and aiding poor children and their families wherever they were needed. Their characteristic brown habit, vow of radical poverty and frequent travels earned them the affectionate nickname ‘Brown Joeys’.

Image: An icon of St Mary of the Cross MacKillop Iconographer: Michael Galovic Born and schooled in Belgrade, Yugoslavia, Michael Galovic is a graduate from the Belgrade Academy of Arts.

Blipp to see more of Michael Galovic’s work.

Or visit www.michaelgalovic.com and YouTube: Michael Galovic.

The Winter Joey Serves 3

• • • • • •

3 eggs 500 ml of milk 2 tsp of five spice 1/4 cup of brown sugar 90 ml of brandy (3 shots) Ground nutmeg

Method Separate eggs and beat white into stiff peaks.

To Drink Serve nice and hot on a cold winter’s night.

Cream egg yolks and fold into egg whites until combined.

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Heat milk and add five spice, brown sugar and brandy. Stir until hot.

Spoon eggs into mugs and add brandy milk. Stir till combined.

Garnish with brown sugar caramelised with a blow torch and a little ground nutmeg.

Doctor’s ORders Serves 1

Ingredients • 30 ml of brandy • 30 ml of herbal liqueur • Spoon

Method Add one shot of brandy to a goblet or snifter.

Measure out 30 ml (1 shot) of herbal liqueur.

Rest the spoon gently against the glass.

Carefully pour the herbal liqueur onto the back of the spoon to form two layers.

To Drink Warm the drink in your hand and swirl to combine the layers before sipping.

Culture

Ingredients

Blipp for videos or visit FRANKLYmag.org

One Minute Catholic 50

ONE MINUTE CATHOLIC

Bless ALL THE DRINKS! Catholics have a tradition of blessing all things. It’s a simple way of honouring the goodness of the things we enjoy and thanking God, who is the source of all goodness. This tradition includes blessing beer, wine and medicinal spirits.

When gathered with friends or family to enjoy a drink, make it a habit to bless the drinks (and the conversation, too!)

All the drinks!

For Beer

Let us pray.

Lord, bless this creature Beer, which by your kindness and power has been produced from kernels of grain, and let it be a healthful drink for mankind.

Grant that whoever drinks it with thanksgiving to your holy name may find it a help in body and in soul.

Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

For wine Bless, O Lord, this drink which Thou hast created, that it may be a salutary remedy for all who partake of it, and grant that all who taste of it may, by invoking Thy holy name, receive health for body and soul.

Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

For any drink May the blessing of Almighty God, of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, come down upon this drink, and remain forever. Amen.

One Minute Catholic

Bless

How to

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Money 52

The Happiest people i know...

Matthew Kelly, bestselling author and speaker, shares his thoughts on generating a richer perspective on money.

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Money

Money

The Pursuit of 54

Happiness

The happiest people I know are also the most generous people I know. Is that a coincidence? I don’t think so.

The world proposes selfishness as the path to happiness. God proposes generosity as the path to happiness. I know many selfish people, but I don’t know any who have a deep and lasting happiness. Selfish people always seem restless and discontented.

The happiness we experience through selfishness is fleeting because it is dependent on external circumstances. But I also know some very generous people,

and their happiness is not dependent on things going their way or on getting what they want; their happiness is rooted in the life of God. This happiness, this joy springs up from something that is taking place within them. We are all invited to that life and that happiness, and generosity is the path that leads there.

All the great figures that emerge in the Gospels are generous. Sure, you have the widow’s mite, an obvious act of generosity. But in every great Gospel figure you find generosity.

Discontent Self-Determinism

entitlement

Scarcity

fea r

selfishness

Here we stumble upon the great divide between the way of life today’s culture proposes and the life God invites us to live. Consider some of the differences: God invites us to a life of gratitude while the world fosters discontent.

God proposes trust; the world arouses fear. God promotes giving; the world promotes getting.God invites us to cooperate with his providence while the world rallies behind self-determinism.

The world encourages entitlement when in reality everything is a gift from God. God invites us to look out for our neighbour; the world tells us to look out for ourselves. God operates from abundance; the world from a place of scarcity. God created us out of generosity to live generous lives; the world encourages us to live a small, selfish life.

Generosity begins with gratitude. The world draws us into a conversation about all that we don’t have, but God invites us into a conversation about all that we do have.

Money

Generosity is at the heart of the Christian life, just as it is at the heart of the Gospel.

55 What conversation was rattling around in your head today? Which one makes you happier?

generosity

trust

Providence

gratitude

happiness

abundance

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Money

Stewardship ownership God appoints us in stewardship while the world touts ownership. Stewardship is the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one’s care.

As Christians, we are taught that our time, talent, and treasure are all on loan to us from God, and that one day we will have to give an account for the way we managed them.

The world says to do whatever you want with your time and talent. As for your treasure: “It’s your stuff! You earned it; it belongs to you”; “Let other people take care of themselves”; “What does God have to do with it?”

When we forget that God is the true source of things, then fear, distrust, and close-mindedness begins to reign in our lives.

But stewardship of our time, talent, and treasure is one of the largest responsibilities God places on our shoulders. It is impossible to live up to this responsibility unless we approach it with great intentionality.

I ask myself from time to time whether I’m a good steward of the treasure God has entrusted me. Am I grateful for the money and possessions that flow through my life? Am I generous with the things I have? Do I make them available to others to enjoy, or do I guard them jealously? Am I generous with the money I have at my disposal?

Money

versus

57

Live simply

so that others may Money

simply live

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Something Pope Leo XIII wrote in 1891 God’s promise is that he will provide for our needs, not that he caused me to re-evaluate my life: will provide for our greed.

“Once necessity and propriety are taken care of everything else For example, there is plenty of food in the belongs to the poor.” world to feed everyone, and yet more than two billion men, women, and children go hungry each day.

St Mother Teresa of Calcutta was more in touch with human need than most. It was out of her vast experience with the suffering of many that she counselled us, “Live simply so that others may simply live.”

It is sobering to think that if we were willing to go without some of the things that complicate our lives or so many of the things that we don’t really need, we would be able to save lives.

Another thought-provoking quote comes from the late Archbishop Fulton Sheen: “Never measure your generosity by what you give, but rather by what you have left.”

Like the rich young man, I find I have much. Each time I revisit this topic I find myself being challenged to be more generous with my time, talent, and treasure than before.

Australian-born Matthew Kelly is a bestselling author and speaker and the founder of the Dynamic Catholic Institute. For his book, The Four Signs of a Dynamic Catholic he conducted research on vibrant parishes and their people. This is an edited excerpt used with permission.

Blipp for more or visit dynamiccatholic.com

Money

Despite choosing to live by a strict vow of poverty, St Teresa of Calcutta founded a flourishing religious order (the Missionaries of Charity), became loved worldwide, and received the Nobel Peace Prize for her work in 1979.

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Tips Money

For Financial Success ...without losing your soul

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Be a producer rather than a consumer Deciding to be a producer, rather than a consumer, sets us free to be more generous, no matter our level of wealth. Net producers have a mindset of needing to create wealth so they can achieve their goals and be in a position to help others. A consumer mindset focusses on what we want to buy and then working out where enough money will come from, can easily lead to unmanageable levels of debt and a feeling of always missing out.

Support ethical companies These include local producers and global corporation that promote safe and fair labour practices and environmental sustainability. If something in a retail store seems too cheap to be true,it probably is.

A range of ethical consumer apps and print guides are available that rate companies against criteria of ethical practice. There are also specialised advocacy groups which champion ethical practices in business.

Example include - Collective Shout. Sign up and be a more informed shopper.

Money 61

Grow the social capital

Take the generosity challenge

Do five suburban houses in a row each need a fancy lawn mower, a leaf blower, and a trimmer? Consider some creative relationship-building alternatives to the unsustainable uber-consumerist model we live with. Share resources, loan, swap and barter, or just freely accept and offer time, talents, or treasure. Most of us already have connections in place through work, school, church, sport, local co-operatives or even social media-based local swap groups. We can nurture these and build new networks that benefit everyone.

Matthew Kelly presents a generosity challenge: work out what you gave last year to the Church, charities, and people in need. Give just one per cent more of your income this year. Increase your giving by another per cent each year, until reaching 10 per cent of your income or whatever is viable for you. This follows the Biblical principal of tithing. The idea is that we give ten percent of our income, in gratitude to God for all of our blessings.

One Minute Catholic

One Minute Catholic

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Secret RAKs Random Acts of Kindness (RAKS) have become a popular marketing strategy these days. Airlines surprise passengers with flowers or serenading flash mobs. Retailers ambush unsuspecting shoppers with promotional products and radio stations delight in cold calling listeners with free concert tickets... all carefully captured on camera or audio and uploaded to social media.

There’s nothing ‘random’ and nothing particularly ‘kind’ about any of these cynical acts. In fact, they would be better named ‘Commercial Acts of Self-Promotion’!

In the true spirit of RAKs, try doing someone a kindness in secret, so there is no chance of you being acknowledged or thanked.

For example, one family for their Christmas charity giving left several hundred dollars in cash at the door of a neighbour who had recently fallen on hard times. They left the envelope on the doorstep, knocked and scurried off before they could be seen.

Whatever your act of kindness, big or small, the important thing is to do it in secret so that you can be sure that you are truly doing it for the simple motive of love.

Jesus said: “Whenever you give alms, do not sound a trumpet so that you may be praised by others. When you give alms, do so in secret and your Father who sees all will reward you.”

Matthew 6:2-4

Clean up the kitchen for mum or polish dad’s shoes while they are out Make the bed for a sibling/friend while he or she is in the shower Put your neighbour’s garbage bins away or mow their front lawn Light a candle or say a Rosary for a friend or family member Send flowers anonymously to an elderly person who lives on his/her own Send a blessing on someone who has hurt you or annoys you Leave some money for someone in need when they aren’t looking

One Minute Catholic

Ideas for Secret RAKS

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Life Matters 64

Goin Natural Making love and making babies ... there couldn’t be anything more natural!

FRANKLY takes a look at the rising popularity of family planning methods with an ecological twist.

Despite the increase in artificial reproduction, over 98% of babies born in 2015 (USA) were conceived through good old sex.

I don’t get it?...

Life Matters 65

Oh no! They’re kissing again!

Whoa!...

Life Matters 66

The

Ecology

Body

of the

But it’s not just the external environment that needs attention – the internal ecology of our bodies does as well. It is no surprise then, that the natural health industry has extended into the world of contraception and fertility management.

Women from all walks of life are looking for alternatives to hormonal contraceptives, tired of the side effects and concerned about serious risk factors such as increased incidence of strokes, breast and cervical cancer.

Women, young and older, are questioning why they should subject their bodies to a cocktail of chemicals that often leave them bloated, grumpy, overweight and with any number of other undesirable side effects. Many went on the Pill in their early teens to manage acne or period pain only to find themselves still on it more than a decade later with no acne in sight and periods that still cause them grief.

For some, there is a rude awakening when they, or a close friend, suffer a debilitating stroke or cancer incident and the Pill is the first thing their doctors remove from their routine. If the Pill is so benign, why do they do that?

Others abandon the Pill to begin a family not realising that the Pill has been aging their reproductive system and that it can take up to seven years for their fertility level to equalise. More couples are finding themselves trapped in the irony of being unable to conceive naturally after years of diligently suppressing their fertility with hormonal contraceptives.

Environmental Impact Some research suggests that contraceptive hormones from human use released into waterways via sewerage disrupt the breeding patterns of native aquatic life. What might these hormones be doing to our own bodies?

Thankfully, there are reliable alternatives that are completely natural. Called Fertility Awareness Methods (FAMs), these methods accurately track a woman’s fertility levels. And with the advent of dozens of fertility apps, it’s easier than ever for women to manage their fertility without drugs or implants.

Feeling better now

“When I stopped using the Pill I couldn’t believe how much better I felt.

I had been taking it for so long I had forgotten that it wasn’t normal to feel so bloated or grumpy. I was also surprised when I found my libido reinvigorated! It has to be one of the great ironies of the Pill – we take it so that we can have sex whenever we want, but then end up never really feeling like it because the Pill has suppressed our libido.” Kristy

Life Matters

We all worry about the degradation of the natural environment. We want to preserve this magnificent planet on which we live and keep it healthy for future generations.

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Fertility Awareness Methods (FAMs) work on the basis that a woman’s fertility changes throughout her cycle. Unlike male fertility which holds steady, a woman is fertile for only a few days each cycle, around the time of ovulation. FAMs work with a couple’s natural fertility rather than altering it, or interfering with their lovemaking.

With a bit of education, a couple can learn how to recognise the woman’s bodily signs and confidently know when they are fertile.

If a couple wish to avoid pregnancy, they simply abstain from intercourse during these fertile days; typically 5-9 days each cycle. Conversely, if they wish to conceive, they also know the optimum time to try.

PE

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cycle

MenstrUal

infertile

i n f e r ti l

Life Matters

Getting the basics

e f e r t i l

Blipp to watch a short video about fertility.

For more information on infertility and subfertility, visit FRANKLYmag.org

Apart from the obvious advantage of avoiding the chemicals in pharmaceuticallybased contraceptives, FAMs also function as a health barometer. As users develop a habit of monitoring their fertility symptoms and recording them, they also become attuned to changes that might signify an emerging health problem.

Early warning “When we had trouble getting pregnant, we consulted a FertilityCare practitioner. After using the method for several months, she was able to identify just from our records that my wife had a progesterone deficiency.

We conceived soon after, and hormone supplements sustained our pregnancy until the birth of our little boy.” Luke “After using FAMs for over twenty years, I noticed a change to my fertility symptoms. I got my doctor to run a test and it turned out that I had a cervical polyp, often a precursor to cancer. It was a simple matter to have it removed as it was picked up so early.” Felicity

Life Matters

Hidden Health Benefits

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then & now Fertility Awareness Methods have come a looooong way.

1930’s-1950’s

1960’s- 1980’s

Spilling the seed

Feelin’ the rhythm

reading the signs

Withdrawal

Rhythm Method

Modern Methods

1930’s

pre

This is one of the earliest and very rudimentary methods of fertility control. It is even mentioned in the Bible in the story of Onan where it ends rather unpleasantly for him! (Gen 38:9).

As a method of avoiding pregnancy it is highly unreliable and is not strictly a FAM as it involves no awareness of the woman’s fertility.

This method relies upon the woman’s history of cycle length to predict fertility in the current cycle.

Since it isn’t uncommon for a woman to experience fluctuations in her cycle, its effectiveness is generally considered too low by today’s standards, hence the derogatory name of ‘Vatican Roulette’

These research-based methods use bodily symptoms that enable couples to track their fertility status.

They rival the Pill for reliability and easily beat barrier methods.

A number of variations include: • Billings Ovulation Method • The SymptoThermal Method • Creighton (FertilityCare) Method

Effectiveness Modern FAMs are highly reliable in avoiding pregnancy, compare favourably with hormonal contraceptives, and are significantly superior to barrier methods.

Blipp for info on FAMS and an app review or visit FRANKLYmag.org

1990’s pee on a stick

2010’s there’s an app for that

Infertility Solutions A number of innovations utilise data from urine dip sticks to indicate fertility status. Used initially to assist subfertile couples become pregnant, later variations such as Persona and ClearBlue were developed for pregnancy avoidance.

Technology Enhancements A plethora of apps enter the app/play store, automating the interpretation of fertility symptoms and making paper charting redundant.

The most reliable apps are based on proven FAMs and require couples to abstain during fertile phases rather than use barrier methods or withdrawal.

Life Matters

The Low Down on Abstinence

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Ok – so we’ve heard about the advantages, there’s got to be a downside to FAMs, right?

The most obvious one is the ‘abstinence’ requirement. Some of the apps available bypass this problem by simply advising users to use barrier methods such as condoms, diaphragms or withdrawal during the fertile period.

Barrier methods are not nearly as reliable in avoiding pregnancy as other methods, and given that a couple can ONLY get pregnant from sex during the fertile window, if a barrier method is going to fail, that’s when it really matters.

In effect, the reliability of FAM-barrier combinations is much lower than than the FAM-abstinence model.

Another way to approach the abstinence challenge is to reframe it: when might a couple abstain and what constitutes a good reason for it?

When couples look honestly at their lives, most of them are not having sex every day or even every week. And all sorts of very good reasons can interrupt the rhythm of their love life, like travel or working late, sickness, tiredness, house guests, kids interrupting or simple busyness.

Abstinence is not exclusive to FAM users – it’s part of married life.

In fact, research shows FAM users have as much, or more, sex as contraceptive users. It’s just they enjoy a feasting and fasting pattern.

Life Matters 73

PMT

MA

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FL

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PE EL

VISIT

S PARENT

LS’

GIR

AL

D FIN

GRAN

KIDS SICK

SEAS

NT

UME

ARG

O

infertile

i n f e r ti l

TRAV

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ON F

NIG

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INAL

E

e f e r t i l No matter what method of family planning a couple uses, abstinence will be a part of their life together.

Life Matters 74

The Myth of Casual Sex As much as we might like to believe that sexual freedom would provide risk-free, hassle-free sex-on-demand, the reality is that this part of life is complicated. Sex is an adult activity because it comes bundled with the possibility of pregnancy – a serious commitment of time, energy and money to the well-being of a precious new individual – for life! Sex is never ‘casual’ because of this very real possibility.

But why would we want it to be casual anyway? Sex in the divine plan is meant to be a profound communication between husband and wife; a sacred body language that says,“I freely give myself to you alone, in good times and in bad.” It’s a language that speaks through the body the words of the wedding vows, a total and exclusive commitment for life.

There’s nothing casual about that!

Life Matters

“Hardly anyone actually talks about sex these days. We joke about it, swear about it, watch movies about it, and listen to music about it. But we rarely ever, really talk about it and what it means to us.� Francine & Byron Pirola

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Life Matters 76

Relationship

dividends In order for a marriage to work a couple needs to feel connected on the ‘big things’ in life. This is where the secret benefit of FAMs emerge. FAMs require a couple to work together to achieve their fertility goals. They need to communicate openly and regularly about their needs and their coping capacity as every cycle presents them again with the question: will we try for a baby?

The open and recurring question requires the couple to live with one of life’s biggest questions that opens up all areas of life for connection.

This may explain in part why FAM users have a dramatically lower incidence of relationship breakdown; the method actively assists couples to deepen their intimacy and belonging and so strengthen their union.

Life Matters 77

Birth Control and Divorce While many couples make birth control decisions being very conscious of the importance of preserving their marital harmony, there’s no evidence that artificial contraception has helped to make marriage more stable. In fact, once no-fault divorce laws were introduced, the divorce incidence steadily increased as the Pill was progressively adopted. Similtaneously, the Marriage Rate has also declined.

Blipp to learn more about the sociological impact of contraception and listen to Dr Janet Smith’s talk: “Contraception - why not?” or visit FRANKLYmag.org

Marriage Rate

Divorce Rate

Hormonal Contraceptive Availablitity

Life Matters 78

The

Church &

Birth Control

The Best Kept Secret

Most people know that the Church is opposed to the use of artificial contraception. On the other hand, FAMs (or Natural Family Planning methods as they used to be known) are accepted.

FAMs offer couples an extraordinary way of life; one that is healthy and attuned to the natural rhythms of their bodies. It allows couples to work in harmony with their fertility, not against it; to connect with something much bigger than themselves.

But it’s not about being natural versus artificial. The Church is not opposed, for example, to the use of devices like Persona or mobile apps to assist couples in their use of FAMs. Rather, the concern with contraception relates to important practical and ethical realities.

The Church supports the use of FAMs because they are a powerful aid to the couple’s growth in intimacy and marital stability and they do not break the bond between the sexual act and its divine design to enable human procreation.

Love in God’s plan “The couple’s fruitful relationship becomes an image for understanding and describing the mystery of God himself, for in the Christian vision of the Trinity, God is contemplated as Father, Son and Spirit of love. The triune God is a communion of love, and the family is its living reflection.” Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia, 11 “The Holy Spirit proceeds from the perfect love shared between Father and Son. In the same way, husband and wife are able to generate new life through their sexual union, thus imaging the divine life. When contraceptives are used to deny or destroy a couple’s fertility, this spiritual connection to the divine is also damaged. It has subtle but significant relationship consequences. With modern FAMs, contraceptives are completely unnecessary for family planning purposes.”

Byron & Francine Pirola

It’s not uncommon for couples to wonder when they first discover the magic of FAMs: “Why were we never told about this?” The question for all couples is: now that we know, how do we choose to live? This is simply too good to keep to ourselves and if you have any doubt, check out how many secular groups are joining the crusade for a return to a more natural way of life.

An opened Mind “I am the fifth child of a large family. When I was eleven and my dad announced that mum was having another baby, I remember saying rather impudently, “Just how many babies are we going to have, Dad?” He replied, “We’ll have as many as God gives us.” That day, I made a vow to myself: I would never let God dictate how many babies I’d have. Forty years later as the mother of three adult children, a couple’s retreat opened up the topic for my husband and me. After much introspection, I realised that I had lived my entire married life and planned my family on the decision of an eleven year old. I hadn’t reconsidered this foundational question for over 40 years!” Clare

Blipp for more on FAMs and the wisdom of the Church or visit smartloving.org/fertility

Life Matters

Natural vs Artificial?

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spotlight

FRANKLY caught up with two men who love their God and have been inspired to stand out.

Celebrity

Faith under the

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Reaching hearts with music Celebrity

Fr Rob Galea

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Before every rehearsal and concert Fr Rob Galea gathers his band and any other musicians and dancers to pray.

He did this as a contestant on The X-Factor reality TV show too, praying with his competitors in the green room and answering requests for a personal word or blessing before they went onstage.

“At first because I wore my collar they thought I was in dress-up as a priest, and when the judges realised I wasn’t, they told me it was wonderful to be able to talk to a priest.”

Fr Rob is an assistant parish priest at St Kilian’s parish in the Sandhurst diocese. In addition his youth ministry work involves performing with his band at 80 secondary schools a year, and to large audiences around Australia and overseas.

He began playing guitar as a teenager with his local parish youth group in his native Malta. His first recorded song, written for his friend who died of muscular dystrophy, was a number one bestseller in Malta and scored him his first international record deal. At that time he was also studying for the priesthood.

Celebrity 83

He sang the official World Youth Day 2008 song Receive the Power with Guy Sebastian and other artists.

In 2015, by then a priest working for the Sandhurst diocese, Fr Rob was a popular contestant on The X-Factor (Australia).

He left the show voluntarily after its ‘boot camp’ stage to return to the regular priestly and music commitments he loves.

He also declined an invitation to perform on the US version of The Voice because of his commitments. He’s a bit uncomfortable with the level of fame he’s attained in some countries and is disinclined to encourage more fame just for the sake of it.

In an interview with The Sydney Morning Herald he said:

“My role is to make God famous, I am the instrument, the face of it.

I have always known that music is part of my ministry, but I see myself first as a priest, teacher, and evangelist.”

Photo Credit: Christian Barkla © Whites + Woods Creative

Celebrity

To FRANKLY he explains, “My vocation as a priest is to share God’s love and God’s presence through words and through the Sacraments. That is my primary role. And I also think there’s no better way to share God’s word than through the language of the heart, and that is music.

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“When I am preaching, people will listen, but when I sing a song while I am preaching, all of a sudden the tears roll, or the joy is evident.

“Music allows them to be less defensive, more ready to receive a message in their hearts.”

Fr Rob believes all kind of work, whether performing music for thousands of people, or cleaning a bathroom for one, can bring dignity to people and honour to God: “My brother is an architect. He loves God with all his heart and he says to me, ‘I really want to serve God. Maybe I should be a missionary and go to Africa and build houses there.’

“I tell him, ‘Joe, this is fantastic, but you have to understand that you are an artist and you are bringing God through your art to the world’. This is what people have to understand.

“But I also believe that we can use beauty and we can use work to turn away from God. It’s about where we direct our hearts.”

Celebrity

“We can clean toilets and do the job well for God because God is always present to us. We can decide to be the hands and feet of God. “In my case it is more explicit. I am an evangelist. But we can each be an instrument of God no matter what work we do.”

“All beauty belongs to God, all work belongs to God, so I believe we have to give glory to God with everything we are and do.”

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Blipp to watch Fr Rob on X Factor or visit FRANKLYmag.org

“Music somehow reaches the heart when words fail.”

Photo Credit: Christian Barkla © Whites + Woods Creative

“When they are doctors they are the hands of God in the operating theatre, when they are cleaning the streets they are bringing God’s order, God’s beauty into the streets.

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Celebrity

Celebrity 87

Connecting with the

Big Fella Matt King, former first-grade rugby league player and the development coach for the South Sydney Rabbitohs, credits a life-long commitment to weekly Mass for much of his success and positive attitude.

Photo credit: By Mark Evans Š Newspix

Celebrity 88

His mother, a devout Catholic, took his family to Mass every Saturday night. He says this is where he was inspired to be the best person he could be, on and off the field.

“Even if we were away from home, we’d follow her off to wherever the local Mass was. That habit has stayed with me my whole life.

“Once I was old enough to decide for myself how to use my time on the weekends I made a conscious decision to keep going to Mass.”

Even when travelling or living in different parts of the world Matt would try to get to Mass on the weekend and linger afterwards for a chat with the priest outside.

“They’re always pretty chuffed to hear that a high-level sportsperson will make time to go to church, but it was just always important for me no matter what else was going on to make time to do that,” he says.

In his current role as a development coach, Matt is mindful of the enormous influence he has as a mentor not just of great future rugby players but good men. But there are limits to his professional role in this regard and in his case he credits his faith for much of his own formation.

“My coaches had a big influence on shaping me as a person, but my faith has shaped me, too. In church as a young kid I just got example after example of what it is to be a good person, and what makes for a good life.

“I learnt that the better person you are, the better sports person you are, or doctor or parent, or whatever it is you do in life.

“To be a good person has always been very important to me and that was instilled in me through my faith influences from a young age.

“Those lessons you learn as a young person really form you and help you later in life when money and fame and other temptations come into it.”

“I’m not saying I never let my hair down, I definitely did, but I tried to never make a mistake twice.”

“It’s my morning ritual when I see that view to make the Sign of the Cross.

“Even as first-grade rugby player it was very important to my footy to pray every night before a game; first for everyone’s health and second for the win that we’d worked so hard for.”

“Gratitude is very important.

Matt believes one of the most important attitudes for success in life is a grateful attitude.

“I know that the Big Fella’s been looking out for me and when anything good happens to me, and they can be even little things, I will always say thank you.”

“I’ve always slept with rosary beads under my pillow. Now that we live near the beach, every morning when I leave my house for work at one point I get an awesome view of the Pacific Ocean and, in summertime, the sunrise.”

“I still connect in some way with the Big Fella every day.”

Photo credit: The Catholic Weekly

Celebrity

“It’s my way to thank God for a pretty amazing start to my day, and for the blessing of being able to live and raise my family in such a beautiful part of the world.”

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One Minute Catholic 90

ONE MINUTE CATHOLIC

ROAD outRAGE Don’t you hate it when someone cuts you off in traffic or you get stuck behind someone who is driving really slow?

Do you blare your horn, curse the driver, swear under your breath, as you frantically look for a way to get around him or her?

It’s so common for us to go raging around our roads, glaring at other drivers who are too slow, irrepsonsible or selfish and losing our peace in the process. We arrive at our destination, flustered, grumpy and even more stressed.

It’s actually a bit dopey when you think about it... why would we give up our peace to the stranger in the next car?

So ditch the rage and do something radically counteractive: send a silent blessing the other driver’s way.

“A person of blessing will be enriched”.

Proverb 11:25

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One Minute Cathoic

Selfie culture

Is there a problem with being mesmerised by our own image?

Billions of self-portraits are uploaded to social media each year by the world’s young people. Is this the sign of a narcissistic generation, or just an extension of youth culture?

And is there space for God in the selfie?

Marilyn Rodrigues

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Inspiration

Inspiration

Upsides to the selfie

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It’s fair to say that a selfie is more than just a photo when young people are growing up in a digital world where online social interaction is the dominant form of communication.

Some experts argue that selfie sharing is an effective component of adolescents’ search for connection with their peers, the wider culture, and their own identities.

At its best, the taking and sharing of selfies draw people together, are affirming, bonding, and can be highly creative.

The selfie pope Pope Francis has posed for so many selfies that he’s been dubbed the ‘selfie pope.’ Yet the Pope has also asked young people to spend less time with technology and more time investing with relationships in real life.

Ussie: a selfie with a couple of people included in the photo.

Groupie: a large group shot, either using a selfie stick or the person with the longest arms!

Relfie: a self-portrait taken with one’s significant other.

Lensie: where a person uses apps to apply filters or distortions to add animations to their selfies.

Helfie: a person’s photograph of his or her own hairdo.

Dronie: a selfie taken using a drone.

Inspiration

Types of selfies

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Inspiration 96

Challenges of a selfie culture Pre-occupation with appearance Some experts warn that while young people have always faced social pressure to look their best and fit in with their peers, the ubiquitous nature of smart phones and social media has led to the normalisation of extreme standards of beauty and a pre-occupation with image.

The distorted notions of physical perfection promoted by the entertainment and advertising industries are now encouraged through the selfie genre by young people themselves.

Now everyone with a smart phone can make themselves appear slimmer, erase blemishes, whiten teeth, reshape facial structures and more, through selfie enhancement apps.

Some young people spend hours each day comparing themselves with selfies posted online by their friends and peers.

There seems to be currently no firm link between selfie-sharing and body dysmorphia leading to illnesses such as anorexia and bulimia.

But studies have found a clear link to poor self-esteem and body image, which for some people can lead to these more extreme manifestations.

Glasgow researcher, Petya Eckler, has explained that comparisons made against one’s peers may be more dangerous than those made against celebrities or models in traditional media because they can be just as unrealistic but hit closer to home.

Inspiration

Boys & body image

97

Body image worries boys, too.

Researchers from the Australian Catholic University found that boys as young as eight are trying to lose weight and gain muscle.

They confirmed that boys feel body image pressure just as much as girls, though differently. Girls tend to focus on weight and being slim, while boys aspire to be more athletic and muscular.

The researchers warned that while this could be healthy if pursued in moderation, it could also be a precursor to body dissatisfaction and the use of more dangerous body change methods as they get older.

There is already an increase in the numbers of young men who are dependent on over-exercise and steroid use, as well as muscle implants and cosmetic surgery.

Inspiration

Peer pressure and bullying

98

The internet provides a very effective platform for acts of harassment and bullying. Thus it is little wonder that the reported instances of cyber-bullying have risen alongside the increased uptake among teens and pre-teens of internetconnected devices. The act of posting a selfie online expressly invites reactions and comments from others, including strangers, which can be vicious.

There is research to confirm that people often feel jealous, lonely and dissatisfied with their lives the more time they spend on social media and especially after viewing their friends’ party or holiday photos. One US study confirmed that teens are more likely to engage in risky activities such as smoking and drinking once they have seen photos of their friends doing it on social media.

There’s also the fact that most selfies are taken and uploaded so quickly that there is little, if any, time for considered judgment about their content and potential audience.

Parents are rightly concerned about the publishing of intimate, provocative or illegal behaviour by young people on social media beacuse of this influence.

Sexting

Many young people still don’t realise that photos sent to someone else’s mobile phone cannot be guaranteed to remain private. Once a sext is received, even if the recipient intends to keep it private, it may be distributed online at any time by anyone using the phone.

From there, it can end up in public forums, on porn sites, and in a range of feeds, timelines, and inboxes for which it was never intended. This leads to public shame and humiliation, insecurity, stress, and anxiety, and sometimes to suicide.

Sexting also leads to criminal charges under child pornography laws when it involves those under 18. And it is increasingly being used as a method of blackmail and extortion, sometimes after relationships have failed.

Surely there is a better way to approach the human body?

Read on to hear from expert Christopher West.

Unwanted Sext “When my 12 year old son began to blush after receiving a text message, I was curious. On my questioning he confessed that a girl at school was sending him sext messages, that he didn’t want them, but she sent them anyway. We got him a new phone number and I contacted the school to alert them as such behaviour is common among sexual abuse victims. Turns out that girl needed help.” Jane

Marilyn Rodrigues is the editor of FRANKLY and CathFamily. She lives in Sydney with her husband Peter and five children.

Inspiration

Australian parenting expert Dr Justin Coulson has pointed out a study that showed up to 30 per cent of the 1000 teenagers surveyed were engaging in sexting – sending naked photos of themselves to someone else’s phone. And about half of the study participants had been asked for one.

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Inspiration 100

What is the Theology of the Body ?

Christopher West explains the Catholic vision for the human body

Rather than a selfie, a sign

‘The body, in fact, and only the body, is capable of making visible what is invisible: the spiritual and the divine’ (St John Paul II).

This is how we are meant to see the human body – our own and everybody else’s.

According to St John Paul II, God created the body as a ‘sign’ of his own divine mystery. This is why he speaks of the body as a ‘theology’, a study of God.

St John Paul II developed a fresh theology that explains how the Christian sexual ethic – far from the prudish list of prohibitions it is assumed to be – corresponds perfectly with the deepest yearnings of our hearts for love and union.

He called it a ‘theology of the body’.

In short, through an in-depth reflection on the scriptures, St John Paul II sought to answer two of the most important, universal questions: (1) “What does it mean to be human?” and (2) “How do I live my life in a way that brings true happiness and fulfilment?”

We can’t see God. As pure Spirit, He is invisible. Yet Christianity is the religion of God’s self-disclosure. Somehow the human body makes this eternal mystery of love visible. How? Specifically through the beauty of sexual difference and our call to union through marriage. Right from the beginning, the union of man and woman foreshadows our eternal destiny of union with Christ. As St Paul says, the ‘one flesh’ union is ‘a great mystery, and I mean in reference to Christ and the Church’ (Ephesians 5:31-32).

Thus, we image God not only as individuals, “but also through the communion which man and woman form right from the beginning”.

The Theology of the Body is not, as some might think, a list of restrictions on sexual activity. It’s a wholistic call to embrace our own greatness, our own God-like dignity.

This is an edited extract from Christopher West’s chapter in Freedom: 12 Lives Transformed by the Theology of the Body by Matthew Pinto.

All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission.

Christopher West is a best-selling author, speaker and world-renowned expert in John Paul II’s Theology of the Body. He is the founder of The Cor Project ministry.

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Inspiration

Our bodies as the Image of God

101

Relationships 102

Our

Many

marriages

Their unspoken reaction to this comment is “I should hope not!” Change is part of life. They explain how to create a marriage that endures through the seasons.

Relationships

People heading towards separation and divorce often tell long-time marriage educators, Byron & Francine Pirola, that they simply aren’t the same person as when they married.

103

Relationships

Seasons of Marriage 104

Change and growth is part of life. Ever since our conception we have been changing. Goodness, how different were we as 20-somethings to who we were at 15?

And how different are we again today?

We all get a bit nervous about change and understandably so. Change introduces uncertainty about whether we will be better off… or worse. Everyone likes change that advances their situation and no one likes the other kind of change. Even so, we cannot avoid change and it is unhealthy to do so, especially in our relationships.

Just as people change, so do the relationships that involve them; especially marriage. And just as our own growth involves conscious choices, so too does the growth in our marriage.

“A couple of years ago we crossed over a seldom-noticed but very significant line: we had lived longer as a married couple than we had as singles” - Byron

1987

After almost three decades of shared life we are now into our fourth or fifth marriage…to each other! In fact Byron is fond of saying he has had many marriages… all of them to the same woman!

There was the ‘newlywed marriage’ where we were building a new life together, living in New York City and establishing ourselves as a couple. Then came the ‘new parents’ marriage’ where we learned the world no longer revolved around ourselves and sleeplessness uncovered some of our rougher edges.

Boy, how different was that marriage to the first one when it was just the two of us discovering the world!

One day we noticed ourselves firmly living the ‘big family marriage’, side-by-side and perpetually exhausted as we took five children on the journey to adulthood. And there was the ‘Where’s Dad? marriage’ when work demands and extensive travel meant there were days and weeks when it felt like we were living parallel lives.

With this realisation comes the knowledge that there are more ‘marriages’ yet to come. We had dinner recently with friends who were in the process of transition as they came suddenly into ‘the empty nest marriage’. It was tough going for them but they were greatly encouraged by this simple insight: it’s not one marriage – it’s many.

With three out of school, two soon to be, and one out of home and another about to be, we recognise we are moving into what will become our ‘adult family marriage’.

Who knows what that will bring? We don’t.

We have not been there and no matter how many others have, this marriage of ours is unique and its path will be distinct from anyone else’s.

2009

Relationships

We are very different people to the young couple who stood at the altar in 1988 promising to love each other for the rest of our lives. And so is our marriage.

105

The

Relationships

Work of Love 106

Many couples assume that because passion and romance in their early years appeared to happen so spontaneously that it is something over which they have little or no control. Like the weather, they believe that they are subjects of their passion, not masters of it.

In truth, while the romance and passion may have appeared to be spontaneous, it wasn’t effortless.

When we reflect on our early years, we recall that we spent most waking hours planning for our time together. And no sooner than we saw each other, we were

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planning how to see each other again. We wrote love letters (those were the days before mobile phones, text messages and social media!), we organised surprises for each other, and we greeted each other with urgency and longing. We thought about what to wear, where to go and what to say.

In short, we invested huge amounts of time and energy in communicating our love and desire. No wonder it was such a wonderfully passionate period! And no wonder we were so much in love… we were working on it 24/7.

While it’s natural for our desire for each other to wax and wane in the different seasons of our life together, it’s important to remember that ‘being in love’ is not beyond our control. The passion we enjoy together

In our experience of working with couples for more than 25 years, a great deal of trouble in marriage is caused by simple laziness and complacency.

We never noticed the effort it took to nourish our romance in the early stages of our relationship and so we mistakenly assumed that romance and passion would be spontaneous and effortless in our ongoing years together.

Many couples believe they are subjects of their passion, not masters of it.

Relationships

is directly related to the investment we make in our relationship, in all stages of marriage.

107

Relationships

Change Starts With Me

108 Everyone loves change unless it involves themselves! The thing about these different seasons of marriage is that like all aspects of life, we can’t avoid them. They are not choices of themselves; they present themselves as our circumstances change.

However, we can choose how to respond and grow with these external changes. And like all change, it starts with me.

While the seasons are obvious when we look back, at the time we never really understood when we were transitioning from one season to the next. Those transition periods were often miserable and confronting. They pushed us to new levels of virtue and demanded regular recommitment to our marriage vows.

Whatever the situation, our advice to all these spouses is simple: you cannot force change on another – you can only change yourself. And when you change, it changes the dynamic of the relationship. It has to.

Of course, we’re talking about the positive growth variety of change, not regressive change. All voluntary self-change should be towards fuller maturity and greater virtue. When your marriage is struggling, make it your personal credo to be the best, most mature person you can be. It may not save your marriage, but it will give it the best possible odds.

Marriage is like a dance.

If one person changes the steps, it changes the dance and that changes the relationship.

Relationships

In our work with couples we often have troubled spouses calling us or seeking us out at presentations wanting guidance on their difficult marriage situation. Almost always, their interpretation of the problem is their spouse. Some people want us to contact their spouse to ‘fix’ them or to ‘sort them out’.

Others want their spouse to come along and hear the talk again so that their spouse will understand how they must change.

109

Relationships 110

Banishing Marital Boredom When we first fell in love we were on a journey of discovery. Who is this person? How do they work? What do they like? What are their fears and dreams? The trap for married couples is they think they know each other. In truth, they know who each other was, but who they are today, and who they will be tomorrow is still a mystery to unfold.

One of the most effective ways to keep the passion alive in a marriage is to foster a spirit of curiosity about each other.

Curiosity allows us to wonder and question, to create space for surprises and the unexpected.

Passion flourishes in an atmosphere of mystery. And as the author Marcel Proust pointed out, “Mystery is not about travelling to new places but it is looking with new eyes�. The eyes of curiosity, of wonder, can banish the monotony of domesticity and revive any tired old marriage.

Relationships

“In no way, then, can we consider the erotic dimension of love simply as a permissible evil or a burden to be tolerated 111 for the good of the family.

Rather, it must be seen as gift from God that enriches the relationship of the spouses.�

Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia, 153

Relationships 112

Because Every Marriage Matters For resources, articles, tips, and online courses to help you thrive in your relationship. Sign up free for the eNews and receive the SmartLoving eBook at www.Smartloving.org

Our marriage is redefined not just by the more obvious external influences such as children and work; it is just as much affected by our internal journeys of personal and spiritual maturation. What does it mean to be a mother or a father? How do we process the death of a parent or a child? What is my understanding of my own mortality? What is my relationship with God? All sorts of questions are part of our ‘inner life’ and our individual interior journey taken side-by-side will inevitably affect our marriage - for better or for worse.

The author Mignon McLaughlin noted, “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person”.

Thus the key to an enduring marriage is to embrace the inevitable periods of change with a spirit of adventure and courage.

“One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.”

Judith Viorst

Relationships

Falling in love again...

And again...

113

114 Relationships

Growth

comes risk

As we go through these seasons in our marriage we can often feel that the marriage ‘is not working’. Actually the marriage is working fine; it’s helping us to grow.

It’s just that growth is tough.

We have learned that when our marriage feels like it is all a bit too much work that this is a sure sign we are in a transition phase. And transitions are confronting and uncomfortable. They are also absolutely necessary if we want our marriage to endure.

There is no instruction manual for our marriage. One of us may shift first or we may instinctually shift in different directions. One may be excited and the other fearful. As our first daughter lines up for marriage, Francine is looking forward to grandchildren while Byron refuses to countenance he could possibly be old enough to be a grandfather!

In today’s throw-away culture, with its eye on personal happiness and immediate gratification, it’s too easy to mistake a transition as a sign of failure. Too many people abandon their marriage before it has had time to come to fruition.

More often than not challenges in our marriage indicate we are in a redefinition phase. They’re difficult to navigate but are often the best opportunity to take charge and choose what sort of marriage we want to have.

Francine & Byron Pirola are the authors of the SmartLoving Series which enjoys an international readership. They are parents to five children and live in Sydney, Australia.

Relationships

With

115

Photo Essay 116

Wedding day traditions with Meaning

In this photo essay FRANKLY features some wedding day traditions that are loaded with significance and greatly empowering for couples.

Veiling the Sacred In many religions, veils are used to cover what is precious.

Historically, Christian women have worn veils while at prayer in honour of their sacred status as the bearers of new life. The white wedding dress and veil also have a basis in Scripture, in Revelation 19:7-8, which images Christ as marrying his bride, the Church, who has been given clothing that is “fine linen, bright and pure�.

117

Photo Essay

Photo Essay 118

Photo credit: Giovanni Portelli

Several Eastern Catholic and Orthodox traditions include a crowning of the couple by the priest. The crowns symbolise the royal inheritance of the children of God, and the new family home they will ‘rule’ with wisdom.

Often after the crowning the clergy and assembly may sing a coronation hymn, such as one based on Psalm 8:

“You have made them a little lower than God, and crowned them with glory and honour. You have given them dominion over the works of your hands.”

Photo Essay

A coronation

119

Photo Essay 120

The nuptial blessing Before the couple leaves the church, the celebrant extends his hands in blessing, inviting the congregation to pray for their future. Archbishop Julian Porteous (pictured) notes: “A couple choosing to marry in a church are consciously placing their married love and their future together before God, humbly seeking his blessing. As a celebrant I am very conscious that it is the couple in their act of self-giving that brings about the marriage. It is also a moment when God in his great love before them binds them together in a covenant that includes God’s sacramental actions in their lives.

The marriage of a Christian couple is a moment of grace for them. God blesses their union and desires to accompany them each day of their lives.�

Photo credit: Giovanni Portelli

121

Photo Essay

Photo Essay 122

Photo credit: Giovanni Portelli

Photo Essay 123

Bestowing the beads Blessed rosary beads feature in many Catholic weddings, and can be a beautiful gift from a parent to the bride or groom. Double rosaries, two rosaries joined together, are also sometimes given or used.

124 Photo Essay

The term ‘tying the knot’ comes from the ancient Celtic tradition of hand fasting, or hand binding.

It was also a tradition in the early Church, in which the priest would bind the right hands of the bride and groom with a cloth or a stole to symbolise their union from two individuals into ‘one flesh’.

“Whatever God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Mark 10:9

Photo credit: Giovanni Portelli

Photo Essay

Binding of hands

125

126 Photo Essay

marriage-saving Cross The small Croatian town of Siroki-Brijeg in Bosnia and Herzagovina links its extremely low divorce rate to the tradition of the marriage cross, which links couples’ marriage vows with acceptance of the inevitable sufferings that their life together will bring.

During the wedding ceremony the priest blesses the cross and exclaims...

“You have found your Cross! It is a Cross to love, to carry with you, a Cross that is not to be thrown off, but rather cherished.”

While exchanging vows, the bride and groom’s hands are bound together and united to the cross with the priest’s stole. Then they both kiss the cross, before kissing each other.

After the wedding their cross is given prominent place in their home. The cross shown here is from the home of Croatian couple Lily and Anthony Zdilar and shows the traditional interlace design.

Photo Essay

A

127

Catholic Logic “He who drinks, sleeps. He who sleeps, does not sin.

He who does not sin, is holy.

Therefore he who drinks, is holy.”

Artist: Joseph Haier - Monks in a cellar 1873. Public Domain.

The Last Word 128

Photo credit: Alamy Stock

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