Vocations Spotlight: Mary White

Vocations Spotlight

Mary White

Hometown: Covington, LA

FROM ANCIENT TIMES, the Jewish people have taught through story telling. This is the reason the Bible is so full of stories. These stories are full of lessons. Lessons about who God is and who we are. Today, I want to share with you my story in the hopes that no matter where you are in your own story you can gain something from my lessons. I am a native of Covington, Louisiana. I am the oldest of a large Catholic family. It is a good Catholic family though not without its problems. My parents never missed an opportunity to teach us our Catholic faith, to instill in us a desire for the Eucharist, and a love of the saints. From an early age, I knew that I desired to give God everything and to belong to Him alone though I did not know what form it would take. I longed to become a saint. My family was a part of a lay movement within the Catholic Church called Regnum Christi. The consecrated women and the priests of that movement were so filled with joy and love. I wanted what I saw in them… Christ. With some trepidation, my parents allowed me to go across the country to a high school run by the Consecrated Women of Regnum Christi to discern my vocation to the consecrated life. Through the grace of God and due to family troubles at home, I stayed at the school for only one year. I was no closer to an answer than when I arrived. Though I knew that it was right to return home, the decision triggered a tidal wave of emotion to top off my already turbulent teenage hormones. I was so hurt and angry that God would reject my gift when everyone talked so much about how the Church needed vocations. Soon after I returned, I lost my spiritual guide and much of the guidance and support needed to discern my vocation. I believed that these were all signs that my desires were not a part of God’s Will for my life, so I began searching for where He wanted me. God granted me a series of adventures and misadventures that at the time felt more like being put in a dungeon and tortured than an adventure. I was tried by fire. It made me doubt the existence of a good and loving God. I came near to losing my faith, my compassion, and myself. However, it is only now looking back that I can see that these experiences showed me things about myself that I had never known and taught me a trust in God that I could not have developed on my own. He allowed me to be pushed to the edge, but never to fall. Then four years ago, I accepted a job in Shreveport, Louisiana. I began to volunteer as a catechist at St. John Berchmans (SJB). With help from an SJB parishioner, I found a new spiritual guide. My spiritual guide and the priests in the Diocese of Shreveport helped me along a journey of healing and prayer until joy began to return to my life. However, I also began to feel intense spiritual pain. Through prayer and with the help of my spiritual guide, I began to realize that this pain was an intense longing or desire. The desire to give myself to God had never left, only been suppressed, and the question of my vocation had never truly been answered. I began to research religious communities. I visited a few communities that were all beautiful, but it was not until I found a place where I could see how all my adventures converged into a single point that I knew I needed to take the next step. Now, I have found a community that draws me deeper into my great adventure with God. I will become a pre-postulant with the Benedictines of Our Lady of the Rock Monastery in Washington State. Please pray for me as my discernment journey continues and know that I will be praying for you.