Dear Daughter

be a mother someday. I did not realize how soon that day would come nor did I realize how my child would be conceived.

AS MAY APPROACHES, MOST WOMEN ARE EITHER THINKING OF WHAT TO DO FOR THEIR MOMS ON MOTHER’S DAY OR WHAT THEY WANT TO DO FOR THEIR OWN MOTHER’S DAY. But for a few of us, the childless women, May comes with a bit of sadness and heartache for the children we long to have or the children we never had. Since May is also the month of Mary, our Blessed Mother, I started to think about what she would say to us, her childless daughters. In my heart and mind, I envision her writing this to us:

My Dearest Daughters,

Oh how my heart aches for you. I know this time of year can be a challenge. I do not know what you are feeling, for God did bless me with a Son, but I do understand the heartache of no longer having a living child. The three most important and impactful days of my life involved my beloved Jesus. The day I was visited by St. Gabriel, the day He was born, and the day I laid Him to rest. When I look back on my life, I always knew I wanted to

Much like you, I too met and fell in love with a wonderful godly man, my sweet Joseph. At the time of St. Gabriel’s visit, Joseph and I were betrothed to be married. We were young, in love and ready to begin the rest of our lives together. We knew we definitely wanted to fulfill God’s wishes, to be fruitful and multiply. Although I did not yet know how many children I wanted, I did know within the depths of my soul that I was called to be a mom, even if just for one. God knew before the day of my own conception that I would be the mother of His Beloved Son. He knew Joseph would be my husband and the earthly father of Jesus. He knew I would have just one child. He knew I would fall madly in love with my Son and devote my entire life, both my earthly life and my heavenly life, to my one and only Son. He knew it all: the good, the pain, the suffering, and the ultimate joy. He never allowed me to be alone in any of it. He gave me Joseph until his death, Jesus until His death, and then the disciple John until my Assumption into heaven.

My sweet daughter, He knows all the same about you. He knew you before you were ever conceived. He knit you in your mother’s womb. He knew who you would spend your life with and for how long. He knew how many children you would have or not have at all. He also knew that you would not be alone in any of it: the good, the pain, the suffering and the joy. If you are in the midst of trying to conceive and it is taking too long, I encourage you to keep your faith and hold tightly to hope despite the pain of it all, despite the frustration of it all, despite the uncertainty of it all. He is walking in this barren desert of infertility with you. He not only hears your cries, He cries with you. He is not doing this to you, rather He is allowing it to happen while simultaneously longing for you to stay near Him. I understand you may not understand this. Trust me, daughter, there were many times in my own earthly journey with God that I did not understand. Why did He allow me to experience the fear and panic of not knowing where my Son was for three days? Why did He allow my precious Son to suffer so very much during those last few days of His life? As I said, I understand it all. Remember, I was fully human. I felt it all!

With all of this being said, I know there are many of you who have spent many years longing for a child only to be left feeling disappointed and forgotten by our Father when you did not have one. While I cannot directly relate to you because I am a mother, I can give you my words of love and encouragement. My childless daughter, I may not know your pain and grief but I do know pain and grief. I may not know what you are feeling but I do understand your feelings. I understand you are forever grieving the child/children you never had. I understand you feel a missing piece of your heart that only a child can fill. I understand that you have questioned and perhaps still do question God about why He did not give you a child. I understand the tears you have shed over the life you never conceived, the role of motherhood you’ve never experienced, the name of “Mom” you never heard called out to you. I understand.

Sweet daughters, as yet another Mother’s Day approaches, instead of looking at your reality of not being a mother yet or at all, I encourage you to instead look to my Son. He is your brother, your Savior, your hope, your refuge, your safe place to land. Allow Him to show you all that you do have in your life. Allow Him to comfort you in a way that no one else can. Although this may not bring you much comfort, know that I give my Son to you. He was never mine to keep long term. He may not be your child, but you are His. I love you, sweet daughter of mine. Remember I am your forever heavenly mother. When you are struggling to find comfort, speak to me. Along with my Son and my Father, I too am listening.

Always, Blessed Mother Mary