Gone But Never Forgotten: Alexis

by Mary Arcement Alexander, Licensed Professional Counselor & Diocesan Victim Assistance Minister

SATURDAY JULY 29TH BEGAN FULL OF JOY. I was in New Orleans with my sister, her three daughters and my mom. We were all there together to help my niece Katherine shop for her wedding dress. Fortunately, Katherine did say “yes to the dress” and she looked gorgeous doing so. The weather was pleasant, I was with my family, and life was good. As I said, July 29th began as a joyful day. Sadly, it did not end that way.

As I drove back to my parents’ house I noticed a missed call from my husband. If you happen to know Ryan, you know he rarely calls. This call was especially odd in that he almost never calls me when I am with my family because he does not want to disturb me. I knew in that moment something was up. He calmly explained that he and his dad were on their way to El Dorado where his sister Alexis lived because she had been rushed to the hospital. He did not have many details other than she passed out and his mom called 911. Because he was calm I did not get too worried. He said he would be in touch so I left it at that. This call took place at exactly 1:21 PM. Seventy minutes later I received a text stating, “Mom said she’s gone.” To say I was in utter shock is an understatement. The words “she’s gone,” hung in the air like a cartoon bubble. My heart hurts for my husband but even more so for my in-laws. No parent should ever bury their child; it goes against the laws of nature. This is especially true for parents who have reached their 70s and assume that their children will be burying them, not the other way around. Alexis died from a pulmonary embolism, the silent killer. She was two months past her 50th birthday.

Although her passing was too soon and her age too young, what she did in her short 50 years of life still amazes us all. It is too much to write here, but she left behind an incredible legacy in the little town of El Dorado, AR, her adoptive home. If you are curious, simply search her name, Alexis Alexander, along with El Dorado, AR, and you will see firsthand. Oddly enough, her death has me thinking more about my life and the legacy I want to leave behind. I don’t know if God called her home because she had accomplished all He planned for her or not. No one but God understands the whys, whens and hows of our death. I do know this, if Ryan or his parents could call her up in heaven, I believe she would say something like this, “Hey! I know, I miss you too, a lot. I know you want me to come back but, honestly, I don’t ever want to leave here! It is beyond anything I could ever describe and I’m with Jesus! Imagine what you think Heaven is like and then times it by a million. I know I died too soon and none of us were ready, but know that I am experiencing a kind of peace and joy that is literally not possible on Earth. I love you very much and look forward to seeing you here too. When God calls you home and you begin to approach the pearly gates, I’ll be the one waving, with a giant smile, all the while wearing my favorite LSU t-shirt.”