Oct. 28, 1994

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ATHOLIC

News & Herald

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Volume 4 Number 9 • October

Serving Catholics in Western North Carolina in the Diocese of Charlotte

28, 1994

Building Stronger Families

The Assumption

Speaker To Explore Key Issues By

CAROL HAZARD

CHARLOTTE

Forget quality

time.

Time is a quantitative measure and

there

is

no

Kids — and — need time with

substitute for

that includes teenagers

it.

Steve

for quality time," said

fall

Wood,

instructor at the Pastoral

Diocese of Venice, Fla., and president of Family Life Center, a non-profit organization to promote and Institute for the

strengthen family

life in

"One of the most

Port Charlotte,

ways you measure influence is time." Parents spend 40 percent less time

Fla.

significant

with their children than they did in the 1960s. That's

why

They've slipped in the 1990s to second place. In the 1960s, they ranked

ers.

Guess who's and peers. first.

first

now?

Friends

the

Wood, father of eight. "I am dead serious about strengthening families in the 1990s," he said in a two-tape series called "Parenting Teens in the '90s."

and other insights about the state of the family and practical ways to strengthen the most will share these

who

converted to

Catholic

-

Church with

his

family in 1990,

Wood

a faith

is

enthusiast who says Catholicism offers a solid

foundation to forge stronger families.

"The basic problem in a marSTEVE WOOD riage is what sin does to us. It makes us self centered, which is the opposite of love. The opposite

time to replace peer pressure with divine and parental pressure, said It's

of selfishness

is

the love that Christ

commanded." The key to stronger families is stronger marriages, he said. "The number one if you thing you can do for your teen is

are a father, love your wife and learn to

love her more. If you are a wife, love your "husband and love him more ... Those who love, model love."

He offers this

suggestion for build-

at

ing a marriage "on the rock:" Frequent

St. Thomas Aquinas Church, Charlotte, on Friday, Nov. 4 from 7-9 p.m. and Saturday, Nov. 5 from 9 a.m. -3:30 p.m.

reception of the Eucharist and the sacra-

vital cell

of society in a lecture series

The

All are invited.

'The Assumption," by Laurent de La Hyre, is one of 1 25 paintings featured in the current exhibition, French Oil Sketches and the Academic Tradition, at the Mint Museum of Art in Charlotte from Oct. 1 5 through Dec. 1 1 The oil on canvas, from the mid-1 660s, is one of many Assumptions painted by de la Hyre.

A former ordained minister for the

mom and dad are no

longer the primary influence on teenag-

Wood

Children."

Presbyterian Church

their parents.

"Don't

compass the following topics "Practical Help for Marriage and Family Problems," "Building Your Marriage on the Rock," and "Training & Discipline of ;

Associate Editor

series is free, al-

though donations will be accepted.

ment of reconciliation. The sacrament of reconciliation

it

Wood will talk Friday on "My Jour-

may be

like a "spiritual

root canal," but the graces that flow from

and energizing,

are refreshing

Wood

said.

ney Into the Catholic Church: Finding

"I

am so excited about what Catholi-

.

the Fullness of Truth" and

"How to Win

cism has

to offer the family."

Family and Friends Back to the Catholic Church." His Saturday lecture will en-

Conference Advocates Change By

FATHER ROBERT CHOQUET "Positive Discipline: Getting Smart

Not Tough" was the theme of the Seventh Annual National Conference to Abolish Corporal Punishment in Schools Oct. 7-9 in Raleigh hosted by the

Governor's Child Advocacy Council. The conference was designed to help network religious and community child advocacy efforts with initiatives at the

A

CATHOLIC

state

and national

levels.

Susan Meier from the National Committee for the Prevention of Child Abuse and

CAMPAIGN

John Niblock from the North Carolina Child Advocacy Institute coordinated the program. Children First, the local chapter of the national committee, can be contacted in Asheville, Charlotte, Raleigh and other major population centers.

working for the elimination of corporal puni shment, the North Carolina Child Advocacy Institute strives In addition to

See Wood, Page 16

In Disciplining

Children

and support efforts that improve education, parenting, protection and socialization of children, particularly those at risk of neglect, mistreatment, drug and alcohol abuse or contact with the adult criminal sector of society. The committee addressed the difference between the tough-sounding, feelgood, tried and failed measures which account for the rearing of most criminals

capped student, since personality and

certainly be seen as a perpetrator- friendly

both play roles in determining

type of interaction, which has been proven

and the more effective disciplinary techniques which protect the self-esteem and encourage the child to work with rather than against teachers and parents. Black parenting patterns received special attention because they have their roots in slavery and receive a large measure of support from white supremacist elements in the media and in government. Also addressed were teaching and disciplinary techniques used to mainstream

Involved, consenting leadership is. Self-

to create

handicapped students into successful learning patterns. Many methods which

accommodate learning disabilities in the classroom are effective with non-handicapped students as well. What may suit the handicap of one student may also benefit the learning style of a non-handi-

ability

learning styles.

More

students will fall

through the cracks with a teacher armed with a paddle and one teaching style than with a teacher using several teaching

dysfunctional by the non-violent societies

of Europe which have banned

the surprise of

many

it.

To

Catholics, the

styles to engage students' attention with-

Vatican was one of the countries which supported a United Nations Convention

out using violence and fear.

in

Neither

permissiveness

authoritarianism

is

nor

effective discipline.

esteem, individual dignity and socio

e-

sponsibility are all essential for disci-

pline to take effect. Permissiveness does

not provide a framework for values.

Authoritarianism trains a child in cowardice and hypocrisy through violence

1

989 to protect children from corporal

punishment.

Through the Children' s Sabbath program, the Children's Defense League has provided education, liturgical and pastoral tools to advocate non-violence and expand opportunities for children in the local communities. Poverty, drug abuse, parental neglect, gun careless r ness and the sanctioning of violence as a

and may explain why slavery-based subcultures have higher crime rates. As a moral institution which teaches the dignity and worth of all people and respect for life and which condemns the

problem-solver

use of evil to achieve good, we cannot overlook this as an issue falling within

organizations are good contacts for net-

the scope of Catholic moral teaching.

Since corporal punishment, especially spanking, involves a submissive type of indecency and passive exposure, it must

all

contribute to condi-

tioning children to be self-centered and violent.

Our diocesan Family

Life,

Youth

Ministry, Catechists and Media Literacy

working efforts. Take heart now, parenting and professionalism is not about perfection and having never sinned. Both are about See Discipline, Page 16


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