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Volume 4 Number 9 • October
Serving Catholics in Western North Carolina in the Diocese of Charlotte
28, 1994
Building Stronger Families
The Assumption
Speaker To Explore Key Issues By
CAROL HAZARD
CHARLOTTE
—
Forget quality
time.
Time is a quantitative measure and
there
is
no
Kids — and — need time with
substitute for
that includes teenagers
it.
Steve
for quality time," said
fall
Wood,
instructor at the Pastoral
Diocese of Venice, Fla., and president of Family Life Center, a non-profit organization to promote and Institute for the
strengthen family
life in
"One of the most
Port Charlotte,
ways you measure influence is time." Parents spend 40 percent less time
Fla.
significant
with their children than they did in the 1960s. That's
why
They've slipped in the 1990s to second place. In the 1960s, they ranked
ers.
Guess who's and peers. first.
first
now?
Friends
the
Wood, father of eight. "I am dead serious about strengthening families in the 1990s," he said in a two-tape series called "Parenting Teens in the '90s."
and other insights about the state of the family and practical ways to strengthen the most will share these
who
converted to
Catholic
-
Church with
his
family in 1990,
Wood
a faith
is
enthusiast who says Catholicism offers a solid
foundation to forge stronger families.
"The basic problem in a marSTEVE WOOD riage is what sin does to us. It makes us self centered, which is the opposite of love. The opposite
time to replace peer pressure with divine and parental pressure, said It's
of selfishness
is
the love that Christ
commanded." The key to stronger families is stronger marriages, he said. "The number one if you thing you can do for your teen is
—
are a father, love your wife and learn to
love her more. If you are a wife, love your "husband and love him more ... Those who love, model love."
He offers this
suggestion for build-
at
ing a marriage "on the rock:" Frequent
St. Thomas Aquinas Church, Charlotte, on Friday, Nov. 4 from 7-9 p.m. and Saturday, Nov. 5 from 9 a.m. -3:30 p.m.
reception of the Eucharist and the sacra-
vital cell
of society in a lecture series
The
All are invited.
'The Assumption," by Laurent de La Hyre, is one of 1 25 paintings featured in the current exhibition, French Oil Sketches and the Academic Tradition, at the Mint Museum of Art in Charlotte from Oct. 1 5 through Dec. 1 1 The oil on canvas, from the mid-1 660s, is one of many Assumptions painted by de la Hyre.
A former ordained minister for the
mom and dad are no
longer the primary influence on teenag-
Wood
Children."
Presbyterian Church
their parents.
"Don't
compass the following topics "Practical Help for Marriage and Family Problems," "Building Your Marriage on the Rock," and "Training & Discipline of ;
Associate Editor
series is free, al-
though donations will be accepted.
ment of reconciliation. The sacrament of reconciliation
it
Wood will talk Friday on "My Jour-
may be
like a "spiritual
root canal," but the graces that flow from
and energizing,
are refreshing
Wood
said.
ney Into the Catholic Church: Finding
"I
am so excited about what Catholi-
.
the Fullness of Truth" and
"How to Win
cism has
to offer the family."
Family and Friends Back to the Catholic Church." His Saturday lecture will en-
Conference Advocates Change By
FATHER ROBERT CHOQUET "Positive Discipline: Getting Smart
Not Tough" was the theme of the Seventh Annual National Conference to Abolish Corporal Punishment in Schools Oct. 7-9 in Raleigh hosted by the
Governor's Child Advocacy Council. The conference was designed to help network religious and community child advocacy efforts with initiatives at the
A
CATHOLIC
state
and national
levels.
Susan Meier from the National Committee for the Prevention of Child Abuse and
CAMPAIGN
John Niblock from the North Carolina Child Advocacy Institute coordinated the program. Children First, the local chapter of the national committee, can be contacted in Asheville, Charlotte, Raleigh and other major population centers.
working for the elimination of corporal puni shment, the North Carolina Child Advocacy Institute strives In addition to
See Wood, Page 16
In Disciplining
Children
and support efforts that improve education, parenting, protection and socialization of children, particularly those at risk of neglect, mistreatment, drug and alcohol abuse or contact with the adult criminal sector of society. The committee addressed the difference between the tough-sounding, feelgood, tried and failed measures which account for the rearing of most criminals
capped student, since personality and
certainly be seen as a perpetrator- friendly
both play roles in determining
type of interaction, which has been proven
and the more effective disciplinary techniques which protect the self-esteem and encourage the child to work with rather than against teachers and parents. Black parenting patterns received special attention because they have their roots in slavery and receive a large measure of support from white supremacist elements in the media and in government. Also addressed were teaching and disciplinary techniques used to mainstream
Involved, consenting leadership is. Self-
to create
handicapped students into successful learning patterns. Many methods which
accommodate learning disabilities in the classroom are effective with non-handicapped students as well. What may suit the handicap of one student may also benefit the learning style of a non-handi-
ability
learning styles.
More
students will fall
through the cracks with a teacher armed with a paddle and one teaching style than with a teacher using several teaching
dysfunctional by the non-violent societies
of Europe which have banned
the surprise of
many
it.
To
Catholics, the
styles to engage students' attention with-
Vatican was one of the countries which supported a United Nations Convention
out using violence and fear.
in
Neither
permissiveness
authoritarianism
is
nor
effective discipline.
esteem, individual dignity and socio
e-
sponsibility are all essential for disci-
pline to take effect. Permissiveness does
not provide a framework for values.
Authoritarianism trains a child in cowardice and hypocrisy through violence
1
989 to protect children from corporal
punishment.
Through the Children' s Sabbath program, the Children's Defense League has provided education, liturgical and pastoral tools to advocate non-violence and expand opportunities for children in the local communities. Poverty, drug abuse, parental neglect, gun careless r ness and the sanctioning of violence as a
and may explain why slavery-based subcultures have higher crime rates. As a moral institution which teaches the dignity and worth of all people and respect for life and which condemns the
problem-solver
use of evil to achieve good, we cannot overlook this as an issue falling within
organizations are good contacts for net-
the scope of Catholic moral teaching.
Since corporal punishment, especially spanking, involves a submissive type of indecency and passive exposure, it must
all
contribute to condi-
tioning children to be self-centered and violent.
Our diocesan Family
Life,
Youth
Ministry, Catechists and Media Literacy
working efforts. Take heart now, parenting and professionalism is not about perfection and having never sinned. Both are about See Discipline, Page 16