Catholic Funeral Planning by Catholic News Herald

March 31, 2017

S U P P L E M E N T to T H E C A T H O L I C N E W S H E R A L D

Catholic funeral planning

A Holy Death

INSIDE: Planning a Catholic funeral, Cremation vs. burial?

2-3, 6-7

3-4

Local Catholic cemeteries and columbaria, Why do we pray for the dead?

Saying a final goodbye with dignity,

catholicnewsherald.com | March 31, 2017 CATHOLIC NEWS HERALD special edition

Catholic funeral rites Editor’s note: St. Mark Church in Huntersville has produced this guide to funeral planning that is applicable for Catholics. While each pastor sets his own guidelines within the Church’s “Order of Christian Funerals,” we offer this guide as a reference for your family to consider and discuss:

‘At the death of a Christian, whose life of Introduction the death of a loved one, please contact faith was begun theUpon funeral home so that they may assist you in making the necessary funeral arrangements. in the waters We encourage parishioners to do pre-planning to make a difficult time easier for your family. Funeral home services are very willing to help of baptism and you in this process. Normally, the funeral home will contact the strengthened at parish to secure the date and time of the funeral. At St. Mark we will do everything we can to accommodate family needs, but please know that the Eucharistic as a busy parish the church may be in use for other events during the time period first chosen. Once the date and time have been decided, the table, the Church family will be contacted by one of the parish priests or deacons to plan the Mass of Christian intercedes burial and other funeral rites. This involves choosing readings, hymnody and discussing how family and friends might be involved in on behalf of the funeral liturgy. While there is always an element of the funeral rites that are personalized the deceased to reflect the life of the deceased, it should always be remembered that Christians celebrate the funeral rites to offer worship, praise, and because of its thanksgiving to God for the gift of a life which now been returned to God, the author of confident belief has life and the hope of the just. The Mass, the memorial of Christ’s death and resurrection, is the principal celebration of the Christian funeral that death is (“Order of Christian Funerals,” no. 5). Catholic funeral rites consist of three principal or movements: the vigil or wake, the Mass not the end, nor parts of Christian Burial, and the burial rites. Each of does it break the these is discussed briefly here: bonds forged in The Vigil for the Deceased life.’ (sometimes called the Order of Christian Funerals, no. 4 More online At www.usccb.org/ prayer-and-worship/ bereavement-andfunerals/index.cfm: Get more information on Catholic funeral guidelines, prayers, suggested readings at funeral Masses, and more

At www. catholicsensibility. wordpress.com/ funeral-rites: Read the entire Order of Christian Funerals as well as explanations of each section

Wake) The Vigil for the Deceased is the principal rite celebrated by the Christian community in the time after death and before the funeral liturgy. “At the vigil the Christian community keeps watch with the family in prayer to the God of mercy and finds strength in Christ’s presence,” “Order of Christian Funerals,” no. 56.) The Vigil can be celebrated at the funeral home, the home of the deceased or at the parish church. During the course of the Vigil service, there will be a brief proclamation of the Word of God, intercessory prayer, and blessing. If someone in the family would like to offer a personal remembrance of the deceased (eulogy) this may be done at the conclusion of the Vigil service.

The Funeral Liturgy/ Mass of Christian Burial The funeral liturgy is the central celebration of the Christian community for the deceased. At the funeral liturgy the community gathers with the family and friends of the deceased to give praise and thanks to God for Christ’s victory over sin and death, to commend the deceased to God’s tender mercy and compassion, and to seek strength in the proclamation of the Paschal Mystery. Through the Holy Spirit the community is joined together in faith as one Body in Christ to reaffirm in sign and symbol, word and gesture

that each believer through baptism shares in Christ’s death and resurrection and can look for the day when all the elect will be raised up and united in the kingdom of light and peace (“Order of Christian Funerals,” no. 129). The funeral Mass includes the reception of the body, the celebration of the Liturgy of the Word, the Liturgy of the Eucharist, and final commendation and farewell.

Reception of the Body

The rite of reception takes place at the beginning of the funeral liturgy or Mass. It begins with the greeting of the family, the sprinkling of the coffin with holy water as a reminder of baptism, and the placing of the pall which symbolizes the baptismal garment. If the family so chooses, they may drape the pall over the coffin of the deceased. The entrance procession follows with the ministers leading the coffin and family members into the church. During the procession an entrance hymn will be sung. The family remains standing with the remainder of the congregation in the pews until the conclusion of the opening prayer. It is our practice at St. Mark to place a crucifix and Bible on the coffin at the conclusion of the entrance procession. These symbols of Christian life are carried in the entrance procession and can be placed on the coffin by family members of the family chooses to do so. Otherwise, they will be placed by one of the ministers.

Liturgy of the Word

After the opening prayer, the Liturgy of the Word begins. The readings include an Old Testament reading (during the Easter season the first reading is taken from the Acts of the Apostles or the Book of Revelation), a Responsorial Psalm (sung), a New Testament reading and a Gospel reading. The Order of Christian Funerals provides a complete listing of the Scripture readings that can be used in the funeral rites, and the family is encouraged to assist in making the selections of readings for the funeral. In addition, members of the family or friends of the deceased are invited to assist by serving as readers. During the funeral Mass, those who read, since they are exercising a ministry of the Church, are to be practicing members of the Catholic Church.

Liturgy of the Eucharist

At the funeral Mass, the community having

been nourished by the Word of God, turns for spiritual nourishment to the Eucharistic sacrifice in which the community with the priest offers to the Father the sacrifice of the New Covenant. The Liturgy of the Eucharist takes place in the usual manner. Members of the family or friends of the deceased should bring the gifts to the altar.

Final Commendation and Farewell

The final commendation is a final farewell by the members of the community, an act of respect

This crucifix is the focus of a Catholic cemetery dedicated at St. Frances of Rome Mission in Sparta in 2016. File | Catholic News Herald

for one of their members, whom they entrust to the tender and merciful embrace of God. During the rite, the body is again sprinkled with holy water and incensed. The sprinkling is a reminder that through baptism the person was marked for eternal life and incensation signifies respect for the body as the temple of the Holy Spirit.

Procession to the Place of Committal

At the conclusion of the funeral liturgy, the procession is formed and the body is accompanied to the place of committal. This final procession of the funeral rite mirrors the journey of human life as a pilgrimage to God’s kingdom of peace and light, the new and eternal Jerusalem.

Rite of Committal The rite of committal, the conclusion of the funeral rites, is the final act of the community of faith in caring for the body of its deceased member. In committing the body to its resting place, the community expresses its hope that, with all who have gone before marked with the sign of faith, the deceased awaits the glory of the resurrection. It normally takes place beside the grave or mausoleum where the remains of the deceased are to be placed. — “Funeral Planning Guide for the Mass of Christian Burial,” St. Mark Church in Huntersville

March 31, 2017 | catholicnewsherald.com catholic news herald special editionI

The right to a funeral liturgy

The funeral Mass, also known as a Mass of Christian Burial, is as much about the living as the deceased. The “Order of Christian Funerals” states: “The celebration of the Christian funeral brings hope and consolation to the living. While proclaiming the Gospel of Jesus Christ and witnessing to Christian hope in the resurrection, the funeral rites also recall to all who take part in them God’s mercy and judgment and meet the human need to turn always to God in times of crisis” (no. 7). At left, Bishop Peter Jugis celebrates the funeral Mass of Monsignor Joseph Kerin, second chancellor of the Diocese of Charlotte, on April 22, 2014, at St. Mark Church in Huntersville.

Church law stipulates that funeral services are a right, not a privilege, of all members of the Church, both the faithful and the catechumens (Canons 1176; 1183, §1). The Order of Christian Funerals also provides for the celebration of funeral rites for children whose parents intended them to be baptized (Canon 1183, §2). “Christians celebrate the funeral rites to offer worship, praise, and thanksgiving to God for the gift of a life which has now been returned to God, the author of life and the hope of the just. The Mass, the memorial of Christ’s death and resurrection, is the principal celebration of the Christian funeral.” (“Order of Christian Funerals,” no. 5) “At the funeral liturgy the community gathers with the family and friends of the deceased … – to give praise and thanks to God for Christ’s victory over sin and death, – to commend the deceased to God’s tender mercy and compassion, – and to seek strength in the proclamation of the paschal mystery. Through the Holy Spirit the community is joined together in faith as one Body in Christ to reaffirm in sign and symbol, word and gesture that each believer through baptism shares in Christ’s death and resurrection and can look to the day when all the elect will be raised up and united in the kingdom of light and peace.” (“Order of Christian Funerals,” no. 129)

sueann howell Catholic News Herald

Below left, St. Matthew Church is one of 26 parishes in the diocese with a columbarium. Other parishes have traditional cemeteries, or a combination of both options.

Non-practicing Catholics may receive Catholic funerals It is an unfortunate reality that many baptized Catholics no longer practice their faith and may consider themselves to have been away from the Church for too long to be ever welcomed again by the Church. Such individuals or their families may feel uncomfortable in a church and ultimately decide against having a Catholic funeral. By our baptism, however, we have been made equal in dignity before the Lord, and the Church, our Mother, bears the suffering of all those who became her sons and daughters through baptism. Thus, the Church offers funeral rites (including a funeral Mass) even for non-practicing Catholics and, under certain circumstances, for non-Catholic Christians. Although the deceased may not have participated fully in the life of the Church on earth, the Church longs for her separated children to share in Christ’s blessings. She desires to pray for them and with their loved ones so that their sins may be forgiven and they may dwell forever in the presence of God in heaven. — “Catholic Funeral Planning Guide,” Diocese of Portland, Maine; Canon 1183, §3

What about miscarried or stillborn babies? Depending on the possibility of your collecting the remains, the baby should be named, baptized and buried. If you are in a hospital, the remains of the baby will be sent to the pathologist. You should request that you receive the remains. Most hospitals have little caskets which they offer you. If the baby is more developed we may need to obtain a larger casket from a funeral director. You should have a Mass of Christian Burial and bury the baby appropriately and in a marked grave. — “Catholic Funeral Guide,” St. Michael the Archangel Church in Gastonia

In general in the U.S., burial options include: in-ground burial with monument graves, flush marker graves, lawn crypts or family estate lots; above-ground burial in mausoleums; and cremation with interment in mausoleum niches, columbaria, or in-ground in cremation graves or lawn crypts. Photo courtesy of St. Matthew Church’s Bereavement Guide

‘The Church earnestly recommends that the pious custom of burying the bodies of the deceased be observed; nevertheless, the Church does not prohibit cremation unless it was chosen for reasons contrary to Christian doctrine.’ Canon 1176, §3

Cemeteries vs. columbaria in the Diocese of Charlotte? Church law (Canon 1240) stipulates, “Where possible, the Church is to have its own cemeteries or at least areas in civil cemeteries that are designated for the deceased members of the faithful and properly blessed.” Because of limited space at many parishes across the diocese, a cemetery on parish grounds is not always practicable. Identifiably Catholic sections in public cemeteries have become an alternative option, as well as columbaria on parish grounds. But columbaria for cremated remains cannot be the only option provided. Diocesan policy states: “If a parish wishes to make a columbarium available to the faithful, it will also make available at the same location as the columbarium, spaces for burial of the bodies of the deceased. The number of spaces available for placing cremated remains in a columbarium shall not be more than the number of spaces available for burial of bodies of the deceased. The expectation is that more spaces will be available for burial of the bodies of the deceased than spaces in a columbarium for the placing of cremated remains, since burial of the body is the norm of Christian burial.” At www.catholicnewsherald.com: Read the Diocese of Charlotte’s full policy on cemeteries and columbaria

Catholic cemeteries are important in the life of the Church. Cemeteries St. James the Greater Church, Concord St. Frances of Rome Mission, Sparta St. Helen Mission, Spencer Mountain (parishioners only) St. Francis of Assisi Church, Jefferson (future)

Cemeteries with columbaria Immaculate Conception Mission, Canton Holy Family Church, Clemmons (parishioners only) Holy Cross Church, Kernersville Sacred Heart Church, Salisbury St. John the Evangelist Church, Waynesville

Columbaria only St. Elizabeth Church, Boone Sacred Heart Church, Brevard (full) St. Joan of Arc Church, Candler (full) St. Gabriel Church, Charlotte (full) St. Matthew Church, Charlotte St. Peter Church, Charlotte St. Thomas Aquinas Church, Charlotte St. Vincent de Paul Church, Charlotte (full) Immaculate Heart of Mary Mission, Hayesville St. Aloysius Church, Hickory Christ the King Church, High Point Immaculate Heart of Mary Church, High Point (full) Our Lady of the Mountains Mission, Highlands St. Paul the Apostle Church, Greensboro St. Pius X Church, Greensboro (full, with waiting list) St. Margaret of Scotland Church, Maggie Valley (full) St. Luke Church, Mint Hill (full) St. William Church, Murphy St. Margaret Mary Church, Swannanoa St. Leo the Great Church, Winston-Salem (full)

Public cemeteries with Catholic sections Stanly Gardens, Albemarle Sharon Memorial Park, Charlotte Westlawn Cemetery, Clemmons Northlake Memorial Gardens, Huntersville Forest Lawn East Cemetery, Matthews

catholicnewsherald.com | March 31, 2017 CATHOLIC NEWS HERALD special edition

CREMATION: Q&A on the proper handling of ashes Catholic News Service

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In 1963, the Vatican Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith issued an instruction permitting cremation as long as it was not done as a sign of denial of the basic Christian belief in the resurrection of the dead. The permission was incorporated into the Code of Canon Law in 1983 and the Code of Canons of the Eastern More online Churches At www.catholicnewsherald.com: in 1990. Read the full text of the Vatican’s However, instruction, in English or Spanish Cardinal Gerhard Muller, prefect of the congregation, told reporters last fall that Church law had not specified exactly what should be done with “cremains,” and several bishops’ conferences asked the congregation to provide guidance. That request led to “Ad resurgendum cum Christo” (“To Rise With Christ”), an instruction “regarding the burial of the deceased and the conservation of the ashes in the case of cremation,” issued Oct. 25, 2016. The document was approved by Pope Francis after consultation with other Vatican offices and with bishops’ conferences and the Eastern Churches’ synods of bishops. Release of the new document has prompted many Catholics to ask whether it changes any regulations about cremation. Catholic News Service provided some of those questions to the staff of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops’ Secretariat of Divine Worship to have them answered:

Order of Christian Funerals’ Appendix on Cremation, no. 413

Q: The new document from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith spells out regulations regarding cremation. Does it change anything in how the Church in this country has regulated this issue? A: No, the new document from the CDF doesn’t change anything for us in this country. For example, we already have permission to have a funeral Mass in the presence of cremated remains. What the instruction does do, however, is reiterate the Church’s preference for the burial of the body in normal circumstances, and, when cremation is necessary, its insistence that the remains be properly interred. Q: If the document says that traditional burial is preferred, does that mean cremation is wrong? A: If the Church saw cremation as “wrong,” it wouldn’t permit it. Sometimes cremation can truly be necessary. However, the ancient custom and the preference of the Church is to bury the body, whenever possible. Q: What should I do if I’ve already scattered the ashes? A: We can’t change the past, of course, and if you truly didn’t realize at that time that it shouldn’t be done, then you shouldn’t burden yourself with guilt. Remember that what happens to a person’s body after death has no bearing on what happens when that person’s soul meets the Lord on judgment day. However, you might wish to offer extra prayers for the person’s happy repose. Q: If I plan to donate my body to science, after which it will be cremated, is that OK? What if the laboratory disposes of these ashes? A: This would seem to be a valid reason for cremation. However, it would be important to make sure that arrangements are made for a funeral Mass, and that a trusted relative or friend is able to receive the remains and see to their proper burial. Q: How do I convince my dad to let me bury my mother’s ashes, which he now has at home? A: Only you would know the best way to approach a situation like that, and it would depend a lot on his reasons for keeping the remains and on his own personal faith. Perhaps making him aware of the Church’s preference would be enough to convince him? Or the assurance that his own earthly remains will one day be buried alongside those of his wife? Also, the Vatican’s instruction

‘Although cremation is now permitted by the Church, it does not enjoy the same value as burial of the body. The Church clearly prefers and urges that the body of the deceased be present for the funeral rites, since the presence of the human body better expresses the values which the Church affirms in those rites.

Catholic burial, funeral practices explained MONROE — Father Benjamin Roberts pauses between questions during a recent videotaping at Our Lady of Lourdes Church in Monroe, where he serves as pastor. Father Roberts was being interviewed by the Catholic News Herald about questions Catholics often raise when planning a funeral.

ONLINE EXCLUSIVE

At the Diocese of Charlotte’s YouTube channel: Watch a video explanation of Catholic funeral and burial customs

If cremation is desired for legitimate reasons, the Church prefers that the funeral liturgy occur before cremation. Cremated remains are always to be buried or interred. itself articulates some compelling reasons: “The reservation of the ashes of the departed in a sacred place ensures that they are not excluded from the prayers and remembrance of the Christian community. It prevents the faithful departed from being forgotten, or their remains

from being shown a lack of respect…” (5). Q: Many people die and are never buried properly. Perhaps they die at sea or in an explosion or whatever. Why is the Vatican worried about something like this when there are so many other problems in the world? A: This instruction isn’t concerned with those kinds of situations. Burial at sea is necessary at times, as is cremation. The main purpose for this instruction is to help foster a healthy respect for the human body, even after death, especially in light of the move in recent years away from traditional burial in favor of more expedient and economical means. Where contemporary culture today may well question what difference it makes, the Church is reminding us to recall that the human body is an integral part of the human person deserving of respect even after death. The earliest Christians buried the bodies of their dead, and this set them apart from many of their contemporaries. We bury our dead out of reverence for God our Creator, and as a sign that we look forward to the resurrection on the last day.

‘The cremated remains of a body should be treated with the same respect given to the human body from which they come. This includes the use of a worthy vessel to contain the ashes, the manner in which they are carried, and the care and attention to appropriate placement and transport, and the final disposition. The cremated remains should be buried in a grave or entombed in a mausoleum or columbarium. The practice of scattering cremated remains on the sea, from the air, or on the ground, or keeping cremated remains at the home of a relative or friend of the deceased are not the reverent disposition that the Church requires.’ Order of Christian Funerals’ Appendix on Cremation, no. 417

March 31, 2017 | catholicnewsherald.com catholic news herald special editionI

Organist Alfred Allongo plays the keyboard during a funeral Mass at St. William the Abbot Church in Seaford, N.Y. Those involved in planning funeral liturgies know that a lot more goes into this ministry than simply coordinating readings and songs. CNS | Gregory A. Shemitz

Music and hospitality are key to funeral liturgies Mike Nelson Catholic News Service

OXNARD, Calif. — Those involved in planning funeral liturgies know that a lot more goes into this ministry than simply coordinating readings and songs. There often needs to be special attention paid to family members who are not only grief stricken but who might have fallen away from the Church or be at odds with other family members. A music director at a Los Angeles archdiocesan parish said she worked with a daughter, estranged from her sisters, in planning her mother’s funeral. The daughter was worried that there might be hard feelings, “a scene” or something unpleasant that would mar the liturgy or aggravate the family discord. Over the course of several meetings, in person and on the phone, the music director spent several hours with the daughter, helping her choose appropriate music and readings, but also simply listening to her story, addressing her worries and fears, and sharing her own experience of losing her parents. On the day of the Mass, the daughters and other family members were all present. Few sang – not all were active churchgoers – but there was reverence and respect for the liturgy and each other. And there were no “scenes.” Until the very end. As the music director, who also was the cantor, sang “On Eagles’ Wings,” she noticed that as the daughters began to depart the church, they stopped and hugged one another, tightly and tearfully. It was all the cantor could do to maintain her composure and continue as this healing and reconciliation took place. The belief that God is truly present in the midst of pain and sorrow is key to understanding what makes a truly meaningful funeral liturgy. Indeed, celebrating the funeral rites of the Church – the vigil service, the funeral Mass and burial – can make a world of difference to those mourning the passing of a loved one. “Christians celebrate the funeral rites to offer worship, praise, and thanksgiving to God for the gift of a life which has now been returned to God, the author of life and the hope of the just,” states the “Order of Christian Funerals.” So in a funeral Mass, we celebrate God’s gift of life and the deceased’s reunification with God. Parish ministers who are charged with planning and executing

‘Music is integral to the funeral rites. ... It has the power to console and uplift the mourners and to strengthen the unity of the assembly in faith and love. The texts of the songs chosen for a particular celebration should express the Paschal Mystery of the Lord’s suffering, death, and triumph over death and should be related to the readings from Scripture.’ Order of Christian Funerals, no. 30 the rites can help family and friends understand this through their knowledge and pastoral compassion and sensitivity. Being “pastorally sensitive” does not mean that “anything goes” with regard to rituals, prayers and songs. A knowledgeable and compassionate priest, music minister or liturgy director will assist the family members or friends who plan the liturgy in making selections from a wide array of choices. If there are songs of a nonsacred nature that were beloved by the deceased or somehow special, a reception after the liturgy is the appropriate place for them, as it is for extended eulogies. A pastorally sensitive minister also takes time to know the family after the liturgy, whether or not he or she knew the deceased personally. That requires a spirit of hospitality on the part of the ministers, since it is often the case that some or most of those attending the liturgy will be family, friends and acquaintances who might be non-Catholics or inactive Catholics.

iiiMarch 31, 2017 | catholicnewsherald.com

Funeral pre-planning guide

Also online At www.ncbfs.org: Learn more about preneed funeral trusts, funeral insurance, cremation vs. burial costs, and how to calculate funeral costs

Use this worksheet to plan your funeral service or as a guide to discuss your wishes with your family

What is pre-planning? Pre-planning is making your cemetery and funeral arrangements before your death. This allows your wishes to be known, thus eliminating an incredible burden on your loved ones during the very stressful and painful hours after your death. Pre-planning is a concrete sign of your love for surviving family members.

What are the benefits of pre-planning?

CATHOLIC NEWS HE

Preparing and planning now can assure the type of funeral service appropriate for your loved one. Often times pre-planning and even pre-funding your funeral

arrangements can not only provide peace-of-mind to you, but also to those who suffer emotionally at the time of their loss.

Full name: _____________________________________________________________________________ Social Security Number: ___________________________________ Date of birth: ________________________________________________________ Place of birth: ______________________________________________________________ Father’s name: _________________________________________________________________________ Mother’s maiden name: ____________________________________

The most obvious benefit is that you will relieve your loved ones of the burden of making your cemetery and funeral arrangements at a time of tremendous grief. Your advance planning will give your family the guidance they need to feel comfortable that they are carrying out the decisions you made. Pre-planning may prevent disagreement among survivors at an emotionally charged time and can assure that emotional over-spending does not occur. By pre-planning and pre-funding cemetery and funeral arrangements, you might be creating exempt assets should you ever have to go on public assistance. The costs of cemetery property have been escalating at the rate of 100 percent every 10 years. By purchasing in advance, you are locking in today’s pricing.

Education: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

At what age should I consider pre-planning cemetery and funeral arrangements?

Veteran of which war? _________________________________________________

Place of Enlistment: _______________________ Date of Enlistment: __________

Service Number: _____________________ VA Claim Number: ______________

Place of Discharge: ________________________________

Branch of Service: ____________________ Rank: __________________________

Date of Discharge/Retirement: __________________________________________

Adults of any age who make their own decisions should have a plan. Like your will, it can be revised throughout your life as needs change. In general, the earlier you preplan the more options you have. Your cemetery and funeral options will probably never cost less than they do today. Statistics show that 43 percent of all deaths are unexpected; we are not guaranteed any tomorrows. In our culture, few families are comfortable discussing death and loss. This is just one of those things that does not get easier as time goes by. Now is the best time for you to get your plan in order.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Why should I choose to be buried in a Catholic cemetery? First and foremost, Catholic cemeteries are a vital part of our Church’s heritage of caring for and burying the bodies of the dead in blessed ground — one of the corporal works of mercy. — www.catholic-cemeteries.org

Can I donate my body to a university? Yes. But you must be sure that the body will be buried properly when the experimentations are completed. In this case a Mass should be offered for the deceased.

Marital Status: ____ Married

____ Never Married

____ Widowed

Married to: ______________________________________________

____ Divorced

Date: ______________________________

Place: ______________________________________

Children: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Places lived: ___________________________________________________________

Employment: __________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

Civil, fraternal and other involvement: _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If a veteran, complete this information or attach copy of discharge:

County in which my discharge is on file with Clerk/Registrar of Deeds: ______ People to be notified immediately: __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Obituary announcement to be sent to: ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Important documents Collect the following important papers and documents, and tell your family where they are kept: * Safe deposit box * Mortgage(s) and deeds * Military discharge * Cemetery deed * Birth certificate * Will * Living will or advance directive * Bank account information * Attorney * Durable Power of Attorney * Stocks/bonds * Insurance policies

* Health Care Power of Attorney * Computer/website passwords

Funeral Pre-planning details I have a pre-need funeral trust established with: ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ I have a funeral insurance policy with: __ _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I have looked at caskets/urns/burial vaults and would prefer: ___________________________________________________ _______________________________________ I have considered a marker or monument and would prefer: ___________________________________________________ ________________________________________ Memorials may be made to: ___________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

Cemetery information Cemetery preferred: _________________________________________________________________________

Address: ________________________________________

Phone: __________________________________________ I ____ own ____ prefer Type of burial rights: ____ Ground burial

____ Columbarium

____ Mausoleum

____ Lawn crypt

If owned, name of burial right holder is/are: _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Legal description of burial rights: ____ Lot # ____ Section ____ Row ____ Block

Grave number: _______________________________________

Cremation I would prefer to be cremated.

____ Yes

If cremation, what type of disposition? ____ Burial

____ No ____ Niche

Cremation vault: ____ Yes

____ No

Donation of organs or body? Describe: ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

ERALD special edition

March 31, 2017 | catholicnewsherald.comiii

Funeral rites planning form Funeral home: _____________________________________________ Address: ___________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________ Phone: _____________________________________________________________________

More online At www.catholicnewsherald.com: Download a general obituary form that can be used with any funeral home or a funeral pre-planning guide At www.catholicnewsherald.com: See a list of local parishes’ funeral planning guides

Place of service: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

(Church name) (Address)

____ Funeral Mass

Casket:

____ Open during Wake

Type of casket: ____ Wood

____ Memorial Mass

____ Cemetery/Chapel

____ Graveside

____ Closed during Wake

____ Metal

Cremation – Type of urn: ____ Wood

____ Church Service

____ Cremation coffin

____ Bronze

____ Other: _________________________

____ Marble ____ Other: _________________________

Clergy (if preferred): ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Musical selections (in keeping with the liturgy; please consult priest or music minister): _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Liturgy of the Word desired readings (please consult priest or parish office): Old Testament: ________________________________________ Responsorial Psalm: ___________________________________ New Testament: _______________________________________ Gospel: _______________________________________________ Will family place a pall on casket? ____ Yes ____ No Use incense? ____ Yes ____ No

Lector 1: _________________________________________ Lector 2: ________________________________________ Prayers of the Faithful: ____________________________ Offertory Gifts: ___________________________________

____ Cross or Bible placed on casket?

Wake/Committal Service Wake/Rosary Service: ____ Yes Viewing: ____ Public

____ No

____ Private

Location: _______________________________________ Officiant: __________________________________

____ None

Participating organizations at Wake or Committal Service (military, fraternal, lodge, etc.): _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Flag (Committal Service only): ____ Draped

____ Folded

Clothing preference: ____ From current wardrobe

____ New

Presented to: _______________________________________________________________ ____ Other: _________________________

Description/color: ______________________________________________________________________________

Personal accessories:

____ Wedding band ____ Eyeglasses ____ Other

____ Stays on ____ Stays on ____ Stays on

____ or Returned to: ___________________________________________ ____ or Returned to: ___________________________________________ ____ or Returned to: ___________________________________________

Pallbearers: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ (Name) (Relationship) (Phone #) ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ (Name) (Relationship) (Phone #) ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ (Name) (Relationship) (Phone #) ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ (Name) (Relationship) (Phone #) ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ (Name) (Relationship) (Phone #) ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ (Name) (Relationship) (Phone #) ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ (Name) (Relationship) (Phone #)

Special instructions (include floral preferences, notes, awards, life achievements, pictures, obituary requests, items to be placed with the remains, etc.) _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ NOTE: Share a copy of this funeral Mass plan with your family, your funeral home (if you have a pre-plan), and your parish office.

‘As you consider the funeral, try to remember that planning a funeral is not a burden, but a privilege. Think of the funeral as a gift to the person who died as well as his friends and family. It is a chance for all to think about and express the value of the life that was lived. It is also a chance to say goodbye.’ “Preparing for Funeral Liturgies,” St. Matthew Church in Charlotte

What is the ordinary manner of preparing for death and burial? n Save and/or purchase insurance to properly provide for a casket, funeral services and burial. n Remember that the Church desires the full body to be present for the Mass of Christian Burial and for the body to be buried in a cemetery. n Leave instructions that someone will call the priest when death seems close. n Ensure that someone will call the priest for the last rites (confession, anointing and Communion) before death. n Ensure that someone will call the priest when death occurs. n The Prayers for the Dead are to be prayed. (See page 8 for more info.) n The body is prepared for burial by family or the funeral directors. n Arrange for someone to meet with the funeral director to begin preparing for the funeral rites.

How should I prepare for a good death? n Live a Catholic sacramental life. n Develop a Catholic understanding of life and death. n Pray to St. Joseph, patron of happy deaths. (See page 8 for more info.) n Develop an understanding of the Catholic funeral rites. n Prepare with a good confession, the anointing of the sick, and Communion as “Viaticum.” Make sure someone calls the priest. If you are going to have surgery which requires general anesthetic, ask the priest to hear your confession and administer the sacrament of the sick before you go to the hospital. n If you are going to be in the hospital or any nursing care facility, be sure to list the parish priest, deacon and others from the parish whom you wish to visit; otherwise, they will not be able. n Make advanced plans with your parish priest for the funeral rites; read the policies of your parish for funerals. n Save for the expenses of a proper Catholic funeral; most people have insurance policies for this. n Talk with family members and your attorney. Be sure your legal documents give a Catholic understanding of caring for the sick and dying. Be sure your Will provides for food and water to be given until you cannot assimilate it as a part of ordinary care when appropriate. Appropriate ordinary means of life support should also be given where there is hope of cure. Think of appointing a Health Care Power of Attorney with your instructions to be followed. n Make provisions for your funeral in your will; remember that your requests must be in agreement with your parish priest and the Church. n Contact a funeral home to make prearrangements. n Purchase a burial site. — “Catholic Funeral Guide,” St. Michael the Archangel Church in Gastonia

catholicnewsherald.com | March 31, 2017 CATHOLIC NEWS HERALD special edition

Prayers for the dead The Mass is the highest form of prayer in the Church, and the most effective prayer that could be said on behalf of those who have gone before us. In Masses for the dead, and especially funeral Masses, “the Church offers the Eucharistic sacrifice of Christ’s Pasch for the dead so that, since all the members of Christ’s Body are in communion with one another, what implores spiritual help for some, may bring comforting hope to others.” (“General Instruction of the Roman Missal,” 379)

Rico De Silva

St. Joseph, patron saint of departing souls

PRAYING with the dying As death approaches, the Church stays close to the one who is dying, to give comfort and support. The family should ask that Communion be brought to the dying (this is called “Viaticum, Latin for “food for the journey”). Members of the local church may wish to join the family in a vigil of prayer. After the person’s death, the family is encouraged to continue praying, and to participate in the preparation of the vigil (wake) and funeral liturgies. The following prayer may be recited with a dying person, alternating with times of silence. The Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be are also appropriate. The dying person may also be signed on the forehead with the cross, as was done at baptism. Holy Mary, pray for me. St. Joseph, pray for me. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, assist me in my last agony.

Immediately after death The following prayer may be recited immediately after death and may be repeated in the hours that follow: V. Eternal rest grant unto him (her), O Lord. R. And let perpetual light shine upon him (her). V. May he (she) rest in peace. R. Amen. V. May his (her) soul and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. R. Amen.

At the graveside O God, by whose mercy the faithful departed find rest, send your holy Angel to watch over this grave. Through Christ our Lord. R. Amen. At www.usccb.org/ prayer-and-worship/ bereavement-andfunerals/prayers-fordeath-and-dying.cfm: See more prayers and Scripture readings for the dying and for the dead At www. catholicnewsagency.com/ resources/prayers: Find more prayers, including a prayer to St. Joseph for a holy death

CNS | Gregory A. Shemitz

Memorial candles are seen next to a statue of St. Paul in a mausoleum alcove at Holy Rood Cemetery in Westbury, N.Y.

Why do we pray for the dead? Carol Zimmermann Catholic News Service

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Praying for the dead might not make sense to nonbelievers but for Catholics it is part and parcel of the faith tradition, rooted in Old Testament readings and supported by the Catechism and the Church’s funeral liturgy. “Our faith teaches us to pray for the dead,” said Bishop Edward K. Braxton of Belleville, Ill., in a 2015 All Saints’ Day reflection, stressing that although people hope that those who die are with God and the angels and saints, it is not necessarily a guarantee. “Scripture teaches that all of the dead shall be raised. However, only the just are destined for the kingdom of God,” the bishop wrote. According to the Catholic Encyclopedia, the clearest Bible reference about prayers for the dead is from the Second Book of Maccabees. When soldiers were preparing the bodies of their slain comrades for burial they discovered they were wearing amulets taken from a pagan temple which violated the law of Deuteronomy so they prayed that God would forgive the sin these men had committed. The New Testament echoes this notion in the second letter of Timothy when Paul prays for someone who died named Onesiphorus, saying: “May the Lord grant him to find mercy from the Lord on that day.” The Catechism of the Catholic Church also has something to say about prayers for the dead, stating: “All who die in God’s grace and friendship, but still imperfectly purified, are indeed assured of their eternal salvation; but after death they undergo purification, so as to achieve the holiness necessary to enter the joy of heaven” (1030). The Roman catacombs where early Christians were buried also were places of prayer. Today, prayers for the dead begin at the moment of death, often when family members are gathered around the bedside of the person who has died. Prayers for death and grieving are among the “Catholic Household Blessings and Prayers,” published in 2007 by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, that includes prayers immediately after death, prayers for mourners, prayers at the graveside and a more general prayer for the dead. Of course these prayers continue in the funeral liturgy, which is the “central liturgical celebration of the Christian community for the deceased,” according to the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops’ overview of Catholic funeral rites, online at www.usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/ bereavement-and-funerals/overview-of-catholic-

Pray regularly for the faithful departed, especially on Nov. 2 (All Souls Day). funeral-rites.cfm. The funeral liturgy, the website points out, is “an act of worship, and not merely an expression of grief.” It is a time when the Church gathers with the family and friends of the deceased “to give praise and thanks to God for Christ’s victory over sin and death, to commend the deceased to God’s tender mercy and compassion, and to seek strength in the proclamation of the Paschal Mystery,” it adds. The prayers in the funeral liturgy express hope that God will free the person who has died from any burden of sin and prepare a place for him or her in heaven. “The funeral rite is The acronym “RIP” or a prayer for the dead, R.I.P. is an abbreviation designated by the Church of the Latin phrase as the liturgy of Christian “requiescat in pace” burial,” wrote Bishop or the English “Rest in Braxton in his reflection. peace.” He noted that many parishes “regularly disregard” the emphasis of this liturgy by printing funeral programs which say: “the Mass of the Resurrection: A Celebration of Life,’ even though the person has obviously not yet been raised from the dead.” According to the Catechism, most Catholics who don’t merit hell still need purification before entering heaven and pass through a state when they die that the Church describes as purgatory. In a question-and-answer page on www. BustedHalo.com, a Paulist-run website, Paulist Father Joe Scott said praying for the dead has “further origins in our belief in the communion of saints.” The priest, an associate pastor at St. Paul the Apostle Catholic Community in Los Angeles, added that living members of this communion can “assist each other in faith by prayers and other forms of spiritual support.” “Christians who have died continue to be members of the communion of saints,” he wrote. “We believe that we can assist them by our prayers, and they can assist us by theirs.”

Did you know?

t. Joseph has always been a special saint for me, and many saints throughout history have had a strong devotion to the foster father of Our Savior. St. Teresa of Avila, the great Carmelite nun and Doctor of the Church, was a faithful devotee of the saint, and went out of her way to spread devotion to him among her peers. St. Joseph is the patron saint of, among other things, husbands and families, and Pope Pius XI named him the Guardian and Protector of the Universal Church. What many Catholics might not be aware is that this humble carpenter from Nazareth is also the patron saint of departing souls – that is, a peaceful death. The obvious question that comes to mind is: “Why is St. Joseph the patron saint of a peaceful death?” Although the death of St. Joseph is not recorded in the Gospels, we know that he was not present during the Crucifixion of Jesus, and according to Church tradition, Joseph most likely died before the beginning of Jesus’ public ministry. So St. Joseph died in the company of Jesus and Mary. What a glorious way to pass away to the other side! The Joseph connection then is that when we die, we could surely benefit by praying to have Jesus, Mary and Joseph at our bedside to help usher us to eternity. I was reminded of this wonderful devotion a couple years ago when I covered the dedication of the Chapel of the Holy Family, located at St. Vincent de Paul Church in Charlotte. Inside the chapel, there are seven beautiful stained glass windows depicting different periods of the life of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. One of them, depicting the death of Joseph, caught my attention right away. St. Joseph is lying on his deathbed with his eyes closed. Jesus is at his bedside, His arms showing Joseph the way to two angels standing at the foot of the bed. To Joseph’s other side, Our Lady sits praying for her departing husband. It is quite a beautiful window to behold, and I recommend a must-see for all Catholics in the Charlotte area. (Editor’s note: We chose a detail from this window for the cover image of this special supplement.) I encourage all Catholics, young or seasoned, to have recourse to the great St. Joseph at the hour when we draw our last breath. Moreover, ask him to intercede for a family member or a friend, who might be close to the end of his or her life. I leave you with this beautiful St. Joseph prayer for a peaceful death that I found online: “To thee I have recourse, St. Joseph, patron of the dying; and to thee, at whose blessed death watchfully assisted Jesus and Mary, by both these dearest pledges I earnestly recommend the soul of this servant (handmaid) in the sufferings of his (her) last agony, that he (she) may by your protection be delivered from the snares of the devil and from eternal death, and may merit to attain everlasting joy. Through the same Christ our Lord. Amen.” Rico De Silva is the Hispanic communications reporter for the Catholic News Herald.

March 31, 2017 | catholicnewsherald.com catholic news herald special editionI

Offering Masses for the dead The Catechism of the Catholic Church states: “From the beginning the Church has honored the memory of the dead and offered prayers in suffrage for them, above all the Eucharistic Sacrifice, so that, thus purified, they may attain the beatific vision of God” (1032). It is normal to have a Mass offered as soon as possible for the deceased. Most people leave provision for this in their wills. When possible the “month’s mind,” a Mass on the one-month anniversary and then on other anniversaries, is a good practice. If Masses are not available on those days in your parish, your parish priest may be able to send them to be offered in the missions. Arranging a Mass for a deceased loved one is easy. Simply contact a Catholic church in the community where you would like to have the Mass celebrated, or at your own parish if you would like to attend the Mass. A stipend of usually $5-$20 per Mass is offered for the priest who will offer the Mass. Every parish has a Mass offering book, usually kept at the parish secretary’s desk, so that when you call or stop by the parish it is easy to ask for a Mass intention. Sometimes you may be able to pick a specific day to have the Mass celebrated in memory of the deceased, but at times you may have to accept whatever date is available. You will receive a Mass card from the parish with the time, date and church name where the Mass will be offered. You can give the Mass card to the family of the deceased so they know when the Mass will be offered in their loved one’s honor. Don’t forget to mark down the details on your own calendar so that you can attend the Mass or remember to offer your prayers on that day.

Why is it important to have a grave? Our cemeteries are places of great sign value as were the catacombs of old. The grave and the marker are visible signs that a person did live and that it mattered that he or she lived. Years from now someone will walk by our graves and remember us and that it was important that we lived and died. Cemeteries are places of catechesis about death and they are places of prayer in the context of the communion of saints and our waiting for the final coming of the Lord. We visit the grave often to pray for the deceased and we decorate the graves regularly, especially on Nov. 2, All Souls Day. — “Catholic Funeral Guide,” St. Michael the Archangel Church in Gastonia

With death anniversaries many find comfort in rituals Carol Zimmermann Catholic News Service

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A tricky thing about grief is that it is not a one-shot deal. Although it is often strongest when it’s first experienced, it can sneak up at any time. It especially reappears on the anniversary of the death of a loved one. Some have labeled these days as “deathversaries” and even though they are days that can bring up painful memories, they should not be ignored nor do they need to be completely depressing. The Internet, which is not always a place of solace, actually has plenty of advice for coping with anniversaries of a loved one’s death. Websites including www.modernloss.com or www. whatsyourgrief.com offer the following suggestions: n Take flowers to the grave site or other place where you remember your loved one. n Look at old photos and home videos or put digital photos into photo album. n Volunteer with a charity or cause your deceased friend or relative liked or make a donation to the charity in his or her name. n Reach out to someone else who also is grieving this loss. n Host a dinner party and invite those who knew this person best CNS | Karen Callaway, Catholic New World and cook foods they liked or gather A woman prays after placing flowers and statues of saints on her son’s grave at Queen of Heaven Catholic Cemetery in Hillside, Ill. at the person’s favorite restaurant. n Do something your loved one eternal life began. would have enjoyed. For many people, the idea of n Write about your loved one; write them a letter or plant a tree in being festive on the anniversary of their name. someone’s death is hard to imagine n Take the day off work. and might never happen, but for n Ask friends or family members for support. those grieving a loss there are signs that healing has begun and that The Mayo Clinic, based in Rochester, Minn., notes on its website, comfort or renewed strength is www.mayoclinic.org, that reawakened grief can occur years after a present. loss, particularly when people are confronted with reminders of their Father Eamon Tobin, pastor of loved one’s death. Ascension Catholic Community in The site advises people to be prepared, especially for anniversary Melbourne, Fla., who wrote a parish reactions and to plan a distraction for the day or reminisce about column about coping with loss, says the relationship. It reiterates some of the suggestions previously signs of healing after grief include: mentioned and also urges people to allow themselves to “feel a range of emotions. It’s OK to be sad and feel a sense of loss, but also allow n Being able to talk about your yourself to experience joy and happiness. As you celebrate special loved one in a more comfortable times, you might find yourself both laughing and crying.” “There’s no time limit for grief, and anniversary reactions can leave manner. n Realizing that while “life is not you reeling. Still, the intensity of grief tends to lessen with time,” it the same, it can be good again.” adds. n Grief becomes less engrossing. Many cultures celebrate the death anniversary of loved ones by n New inner resources are developed or strengthened. gathering together as families and sharing special foods. Catholics often mark the anniversary of a loved one’s death by “Grief work, though very painful,” he writes, “is good and holy.” attending Mass or having a Mass offered for the deceased. The priest also wrote that “grief is the way God intended for us to Catholics also celebrate feast days which are the anniversaries of deal with loss.” saints’ deaths. The anniversaries of deaths of loved ones will likely He said the “world’s way is denial. It tells us to ‘move on’ even not be celebrated in the same manner as they are for major saints: before we have started to grieve. Grief work (and it is work) is the with festivals and parades through streets, but recollections on this only thing that will heal our loss or at least help us to live with it.” day share the same idea: recalling when one’s life on earth ended and

Many parishes have bereavement ministries or grief support groups. Check your parish’s website or bulletin, or call the parish office for details.

catholicnewsherald.com | March 31, 2017 CATHOLIC NEWS HERALD special edition

Technology slowly takes a virtual seat in funeral planning Carol Zimmermann Catholic News Service

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an age where people order groceries, plan vacations, find love or news updates online, it should be no surprise that some aspects of funeral planning are also slowly making use of – although not quite embracing – technology. It’s happening in small steps, in other words, not at warp speed. Funeral homes are primarily still places where people actually sit down with a funeral director and plan the wake, funeral service and burial for their loved one. They also choose necessary purchases, pay the often costly bill and fill out plenty of forms including one to obtain a death certificate. In recent years, more funeral homes have set up websites offering details of the services they provide but prices are not usually listed. These sites often provide checklists of things bereaved families should consider and resources for dealing with grief. FuneralOne, a technology and consultation firm for funeral homes based in Detroit, urges modern funeral homes to tap into social media not only to be competitive in today’s market but to provide a service for families to connect or to find support in their grief. A 2012 blog on the company’s website lamented that one in five funeral homes were still not online, and less than half of funeral homes were using social media. But a 2015 online search found a number of funeral homes are at least testing the waters of new technology.

With apps like iFuneral, people can identify personal decisions about how they want their own funeral.

For example, many funeral home websites advertise that they provide memorial videos with music and photos of the deceased that can be shown at the funeral homes. Many homes also offer, for a fee, to livestream the funeral or vigil service for out-of-town guests unable to attend in person. Some parishes have their own media ministry and already livestream Sunday Masses or other events, so family members should check with what their parish provides before lining up this service with a funeral home. Another technological newcomer to funeral and burial planning is apps such as iFuneral where people can identify personal decisions about how they want their own funeral, thus leaving out the guesswork for grieving family members. Today there are online memorials and places to light virtual candles for the deceased. Families are also using crowdfunding websites seeking charity donations or help with burial costs. But will technology’s entrance into the very personal and often grief-ridden work of funerals have a negative effect? It’s still too early to tell, Carla Sofka, a professor of social work at Siena College in Albany, N.Y., told The Atlantic magazine in 2014. One thing Sofka, who has been studying the combination of technology and grief since the mid-1990s, does know is that people who watch funerals online still need that personal connection and should reach out to others and share stories about the deceased, not just view the service in isolation. And as with any use of modern technology that makes an event more accessible or easier to plan, the basics of what is happening and why can’t be forgotten with the speed of the Wi-Fi connection. Funerals, after all, have a very distinct purpose. The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops on its website section on bereavement and funerals, at www.usccb.org, emphasizes the significance of how the Church mourns and buries its dead. “Through private prayer and public funeral rites, we strengthen our faith and hope, comfort those who mourn, and bury the bodily remains of the deceased with care befitting what was the temple of the Holy Spirit.”

CNS

This is a screen grab from the website www.funeralOne, a technology and consultation firm for funeral homes based in Detroit, that urges modern funeral homes to tap into social media not only to be competitive in today’s market but to provide a service for families to connect or to find support in their grief.

March 31, 2017 | catholicnewsherald.com catholic news herald special editionI

Saying a final goodbye with dignity Burial Assistance Program meets critical need in burying loved ones

SueAnn Howell Senior reporter

t was a tragic day, a very tragic day. I lost someone who I cared dearly for, who I loved with all my heart.”

living.” Recalls Joe, “I didn’t know where to turn. I didn’t know what to do. I went to Grier’s Funeral Home, and he told me about Catholic Charities. “The young lady at Catholic Charities was outstanding. She was nice, kind, considerate – like people should be. She didn’t treat me like I was a nobody. She treated me like I was a man.”

That is how Joe, a Catholic Charities Diocese of Charlotte client, describes the day his wife Lisa unexpectedly died. Minutes before she was struck and killed by a car, Lisa expressed her love for Joe, and then she headed off to her job in Charlotte. The shock of Lisa’s 2014 death was followed by the nearly overwhelming details of what came next: burial. For many families, the cost of burying a loved one is a substantial financial challenge. The average cost of a funeral in the United States ranged from $7,000 to $10,000 – a major obstacle for many people who are struggling just to make ends meet. The crisis compounds the burden they already face in grieving for their loved one. Our Catholic faith teaches us that it is an important corporal work of mercy to bury the dead. Catholic Charities’ Burial Assistance Program is a tangible way in which Catholics in Mecklenburg County are helping families of modest means to bury Photo provided by Catholic Charities Diocese of Charlotte their dead. The program began in 1994, Joe looks at photos of his late wife Lisa, who died unexpectedly in 2014. With help from Catholic Charities when Mecklenburg County stopped paying Diocese of Charlotte’s Burial Assistance Program, he was able to give his wife a dignified burial. to bury the poor. Catholic Charities teamed Catholic Charities provides the social service support and up with concerned citizens, social workers, funeral home directors eligibility verification for the program at no cost. and the city’s cemetery director to found a burial plan for needy Applicants are asked to contribute to the program as much of Mecklenburg County residents. the cost of the burial as possible. Financial assistance is provided An agreement was made among Catholic Charities, the through charitable contributions from individuals, churches and participating funeral homes and the City Cemetery Department other civic organizations when families are unable to cover the to provide funeral and burial or cremation services to indigent cost. families. Catholic Charities’ goal is to respond quickly to the needs of The Burial Assistance program helps families who have no the families or individuals seeking burial assistance. They strive insurance, are unable to negotiate financial arrangements with a to help them within a matter of days, guiding them through the funeral home, or, like Joe, do not have the means to pay the costs application process, involving trained volunteers who have a heart to bury their loved one. The deceased must have been a resident of for this ministry. Mecklenburg County to be eligible. “Our volunteers assist them with this part of the service so we Last year alone, Catholic Charities helped to bury 101 people: 17 don’t have people waiting,” Davis explains. “It’s wonderful to have children, 46 adults and 38 senior citizens. the support of the community in that way.” Sharon Davis, regional office director of Catholic Charities, Volunteers guide the families through the entire process, says the need keeps growing as families continue to struggle working closely with Catholic Charities staff and social workers. financially. Adds Davis, “It’s an exciting thing for us because it takes a “So many of the stories of the families are of people who just very special person to help provide this service. It’s a wonderful don’t have the means to say goodbye,” Davis says. “What families opportunity for our volunteers to be there for the families at this tell us frequently is that they are facing poverty, they barely have time in their lives. They are happy to be of service.” the means to live. They don’t have money to use when someone Right now the program serves mostly residents of Mecklenburg has died. Their focus is on how they will live, how they will get County, but Catholic Charities would like to see the program their next meal, the roof over their head…” expand elsewhere in the diocese. Davis and Catholic Charities Davis says families just can’t meet the expenses to bury their representatives recently met with two Catholic parishes and loved one. funeral providers in Gaston County who are interested in starting “Those families go through many emotions – worthlessness, a similar program there. helplessness, hopelessness – but when they learn through Catholic “It’s a growing program,” Davis says. “The service is becoming Charities that they will be able to have that final goodbye and more known in the community, and we are very happy to have an closure in that final step in life, it brings so much joy and peace to expansion of services to other areas.” them,” Davis explains. Joe still gets emotional when he talks about his love for Lisa and “They feel they have now been able to honor the life of that the help he received. He says Catholic Charities helped him grieve family member or friend by being able to have a burial or a better and reassured him that Lisa would be laid to rest with cremation with dignity. There is no shame that comes. They are dignity. able now to say goodbye to the very important person in their life.” “They gave me the feeling of hope that everything was going to By Catholic Charities providing this important service to be OK, and it was.” families in need, she adds, “It means we are honoring our responsibility to the person who has passed away, but also to the

Be an agent of mercy Catholic Charities needs your help to assist families with limited resources in making arrangements and final plans for a family member. For more information about how you can donate to the Burial Assistance Program, call 704-370-3232 or email Sharon Davis at swdavis@charlottediocese.org. There are more ways you can help Catholic Charities Diocese of Charlotte and share your gifts with the Church. See page 12.

catholicnewsherald.com | March 31, 2017 CATHOLIC NEWS HERALD special edition

Opportunities for giving Everything we have, everything we are, and everything we will become is a gift from Almighty God. As stewards of those gifts, we are called to return a portion of our time, talent and treasure in gratitude for God’s great bounty. The Diocese of Charlotte – with its parishes, offices, agencies, schools and outreach ministries – has many ways for you to give back in gratitude for what God has blessed you with:

Donate online Secure donations can be made online via credit card or direct debit at www. charlottediocese.org/donations for: Campus Ministry Diocesan Support Appeal (DSA) Eucharistic Congress Forward in Faith, Hope & Love (FFHL) MACS Education Foundation Seminarian Education Triad Area Catholic Schools Education Foundation

Donate by mail Donations in any amount may be made via mail directly to the Diocese of Charlotte, or to any of the ministries mentioned at left. Checks should be made payable to the particular program (as mentioned at left), except for Campus Ministry and Seminarian Education, both of which should be made payable to the Roman Catholic Diocese of Charlotte. Please designate in the memo section of your check where your gift should be directed. Please send donations to: Diocese of Charlotte Attn: Finance Office 1123 South Church St. Charlotte, NC 28203-4003

Securities (stocks, bonds, mutual funds) Gifts of stock may be made via electronic transfer or by physical certificate. The

Diocese of Charlotte maintains a brokerage account with Wells Fargo Advisors for the purpose of processing electronic transfers to the diocese for the benefit of the diocese or any of its parishes, schools or agencies. Refer to the Stock Donations section at www. charlottediocese.org/donations for detailed guidance on initiating a transfer of stock.

Planned giving and endowments Many people choose to contribute to the future of the Church in western North Carolina through planned gifts, including real estate, retirement account plans, life insurance policies, charitable gift annuities, charitable remainder trusts, and gifts made through a will or living trust. The Foundation of the Diocese of Charlotte aims to provide long-term financial stability for the diocese and its parishes, schools, ministries and agencies. Through endowments and other planned gifts, it provides a means to generate income to help sustain the long-term strength and viability of Catholic institutions in western North Carolina.

Making a gift in your will To leave a bequest to the Church in your will, use the following language: n For a parish, Catholic school or Catholic agency, the listing should be: “Peter J. Jugis, Bishop of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Charlotte, or his Successors in Office for the (name and city of parish, school or agency).” n For the diocese, the listing should be: “Peter J. Jugis, Bishop of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Charlotte, or his Successors in Office.” n For the Diocese of Charlotte Foundation, the listing should be: “Foundation of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Charlotte to be added to or establish the (name) endowment fund.” For details about any of these planned giving opportunities, contact Ray-Eric Correia at recorreia@charlottediocese.org or 704-370-3364; or Judy Smith at jmsmith@ charlottediocese.org or 704-370-3320.

Help a neighbor in need Make a donation today that will transform lives by strengthening families, building communities, and reducing poverty in your local neighborhoods. It’s easy to help a neighbor in need:

For details, go online to www.ccdoc.org/ donate/donate-cars-vehicles, or call (toll-free) 855-930-GIVE or 855-930-4483 to speak with Catholic Charities’ partner, Charitable Auto Resources.

Donate online

Food donations

Donate securely online at www.ccdoc.org/ donate using your credit or debit card or EFT/ ACH.

Catholic Charities Diocese of Charlotte’s food pantries in Charlotte, Winston-Salem and Asheville rely heavily on donated food and nonfood items for weekly distribution to clients. Items regularly requested by clients are: canned fruit, juice, tea and coffee, rice, spaghetti sauce, spaghetti noodles, and tuna. Non-food items, such as toiletries, diapers, laundry detergent and paper products are also needed. For food pantry locations and drop-off times, go online to www.ccdoc.org/donate/donategrocery-items.

Donate by mail Donations in any amount may be mailed directly to: Catholic Charities Diocese of Charlotte Attn: Central Processing Office 1123 South Church St. Charlotte, NC 28203-4003 Checks should be made payable to Catholic Charities Diocese of Charlotte. (Please include your address, daytime phone number and parish.) You can also donate using your Donor Advised Fund. You can also double the impact of your donation with your employer’s matching gift and mail your matching gift form to the address listed above.

Vehicle donations Catholic Charities Diocese of Charlotte also has opportunities for you to donate your car, truck, RV, boat, motorcycle or other vehicle.

Furniture and household item donations (Charlotte area only) Refugees often arrive in this country with few material possessions. Their initial needs are many. Catholic Charities depends on donations of gently used furniture and household items to prepare a comfortable, welcoming home for newly arriving refugee families in the Charlotte area. Donated items must be clean and in good repair. Call 704-370-3283 or email tsgreyshock@ charlottediocese.org with any questions or to arrange a pick-up.