Meet Parishioner Dennis Schmitz: Navigating The Difficult Journey Of Loss Through Griefshare

Sandy (Underwood) Schmitz grew up in Milbank, S.D. She moved to Alexandria, Minn., to study accounting at Alexandria Tech, graduating in 1988. Sandy married Dennis Schmitz in 1994 at St. Donatus Church in Brooten. The couple made their home near Brooten on the Schmitz home farm. There, they raised their children, Justin and Sarah. Sadly, Sandy passed away on April 26, 2021. She is greatly missed by everyone who knew her, most of all Dennis, Justin and his fiancée, Brooke, and Sarah.

When someone goes through the loss of a spouse, it would be easy to turn away from God — to ask Him, “How could You let this happen?” But Dennis is doing just the opposite. A year after Sandy’s death, he’s working through the grief process and trying to help others do the same.

After Sandy’s death, Dennis knew he needed to reach out for help. He called one of the leaders of Sauk Centre GriefShare, Deb Himsl, and the rest is history. Dennis is now in his second session of the program, which meets weekly in the fall and spring at the Centre for Christ. GriefShare is an ecumenical, international program that includes 13 sessions.

“When you lose a spouse, you become part of a club that you didn’t want to join,” Dennis says.

Some GriefShare participants go through multiple sessions. Each of the sessions includes videos, discussion, journaling, and individual reflection. Dennis says one of the most important parts of the program is friendship building — he has met so many people who have been a blessing during this time.

“There are so many people I have met who would have hit it off with Sandy,” Dennis says. “There are really great people in this group.”

GriefShare gives participants dedicated time to grieve, along with resources and support. The program is open to anyone grieving the loss of a loved one.

“One thing I’ve really learned is that each person handles grief differently,” Dennis says. “You can’t know how someone else feels. For instance, I don’t know what it’s like to lose a son or daughter. I only know what it’s like to lose a wife.”

Dennis invites others to attend GriefShare. You can come no matter how long it has been since suffering a loss — members are there to support one another at all points in the grief journey.

“Some people will come and cry and tell their story for an hour, while someone else may not even speak,” Dennis says. “That’s okay. Everyone is grieving differently, and no one is judged.”

Dennis is so thankful for the support he has received, especially from Fr. Greg and GriefShare coordinators Deb Himsl and Jeanine Wolbeck. He knows that as time goes on, he will need support — he can find it in all those he has met in GriefShare.

“GriefShare is a good place to talk to someone who cares, someone who has been there,” he says.

If you know anyone who is grieving a loss, Dennis encourages you to reach out to them. A simple text, card, or meet-up is all it takes to show someone you care.

Sandy has been gone for just over a year. Dennis continues to grow in faith and spend more time in prayer. After Sandy’s death, he started attending the Wednesday morning Mass at St. Donatus. He continues to rely on his faith to pull him through.

“I know Sandy would want me to heal, and that’s what I plan to do,” Dennis says.

If you would like to learn more about GriefShare, please contact Jeanine Wolbeck at 651-285-5720,or Deb Himsl at 320-429-0913 or griefshare@centreforchrist.org.

Dennis Schmitz and his late wife, Sandy