1A The impossibility of sitting still

1A

The impossibility of sitting still

Igrew up on an ordinary street, in an ordinary town near the city of St Albans in Hertfordshire. But at the bottom of the hill where we lived was a river that ran down the east side of town. I’d play there with my brother at the weekends or after school. It was a place of incredible discovery and adventure. We’d dig in the riverbed, looking for lost treasure: a discarded bottle or a bicycle wheel. We’d hide in the reeds, pretending to be cowboys. Or we’d follow the course of the water, racing along the river bank, not knowing where it would lead us, wondering how far we dared to go before mum wanted us back for supper. Now these were just children’s games. But it says something about the human heart that is true for adults as much as it is for children.

On the one hand, we like safety and security: family and friends; food in the fridge; a bed to sleep in; a door to lock at night. We are very domestic creatures, and the idea of home is almost built into us like an internal compass. I think it explains why Grand Designs and a hundred other TV programmes about housebuilding are so popular.

CHAPTER 1: THE SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS

On the other hand, we long for adventure, romance, and a little bit of drama. We get easily bored. The writer Jack London said that our deepest purpose is to live, and not just to exist. You see this in all the great road movies, when the hero leaves home, willingly or unwillingly, and discovers the freedom of the road. You see this in every classic Western, when the cowboy gets on his horse and rides into the wilderness, looking for riches or romance, or both. It’s the Greek mythology of The Odyssey; it’s Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz; it’s Frodo Baggins in The Lord of the Rings. It’s the idea of being on a quest. I can recall my very first memory. I was nearly three, tucked up in bed, and my father woke me in the middle of the night. He carried me into the living room and sat me on his lap in front of the TV. I distinctly remember the darkness of the room, and the glow of the screen, as we looked at these grainy black and white images of the very first moon landing.

THE CATHOLIC FAITH EXPLAINED

I think Dad wanted me to be part of that great adventure, even if I didn’t fully understand what it meant at the time. To see Neil Armstrong stepping down from the lunar module onto the surface of the moon. To see that there is always something beyond – beyond the horizon. He was teaching me never to get too settled, or too complacent. There is a restlessness in every human heart. It’s good to acknowledge it now and then. We’re searching for something. We’re made for something more. It doesn’t mean I need to pack up my bags and walk out the door: probably not a good idea. But at least I can give myself permission to listen to the deepest longings of my heart and ask the question: What am I really searching for?

Questions for reflection

What games or activities did you enjoy as a child? What was your greatest adventure? What part of the world did you grow up in and what was it like growing up? What questions did you have when you were a child? What did you wonder about?