Thursday, February 12, 2015

The SPECIAL ISSUE Thursday, February 12, 2015

Cavalier Daily online | print | mobile

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Vol. 125, Issue 37

SEX•LOVE•INTIMACY

MENTAL WELLNESS AND SEX ED PAGE 15

A 36 QUESTION PATH TO INTIMACY PAGE 11

TOP FIVE DATING SITES OF THE DIGITAL AGE PAGE 12

OPINION: STOP DAMNING HOOK-UP CULTURE PAGE 8

OPINION: SEX AFTER TRAUMA PAGE 9

N news

The Cavalier Daily

Madison House appoints executive director Tim Freilich says Madison House helps students bring community change, improvement

Simone McDonnell Senior Writer

Corrections In a Feb. 9 edition of The Cavalier Daily, an article on the Childrens Hospital gala incorrectly identified the Child Health Reserach Center the Children’s Hospital Research Center, and incorrectly identifed Kate Rullman as Kate Pulman.

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The Madison House independent student volunteer center announced that University alumnus Tim Freilich will take over as its new executive director Tuesday. Freilich earned his B.A. and J.D. at the University, where he also received the Robert F. Kennedy Award for Public Service.

During his time as an undergraduate, Freilich served as a Madison House volunteer and program director. He worked on the pediatric unit at the University Hospital in hopes of pursuing a career in medicine.

“I was pre-med, and had known since the age of 13 that I wanted to be a pediatrician,” Freilich said.

“And I loved working with the kids and their families on the unit but to my surprise, I also realized that I didn’t want to spend my life working in a hospital setting, and Madison House is actually directly responsible for helping me change my career path before it was too late.”

Freilich’s positive experience with Madison House as an undergraduate motivated him to continue working with the organization to provide students with a similar opportunity.

“I think that volunteering through Madison House is one of the best experiences that U.Va. has to offer, and I will be working with the team at Madison House to make sure that as many students as possible have the chance to share in that

experience,” he said.

Freilich said Madison House works on a number of community projects, often focused on providing support for impoverished Charlottesville residents.

“It’s easy to overlook the fact that more than 27 percent of Charlottesville residents live in poverty,” he said. “Madison House places students in positions and organizations where they have a chance to make a real difference, and Charlottesville is a better place for their efforts.”

The Madison House Board of Directors led a very extensive search process to fill the executive director position. Victoria Long, Madison House director of communications, said the board was looking for “someone who was a great fit for Madison House,” as well as “someone who had a vision for where [Madison House is] headed in the future.” She said she feels Freilich exemplifies these qualities.

“Tim’s enthusiasm really stood out to the Board of Directors and to the staff. His familiarity with Madison House and his belief in student leadership also really struck a chord with us,” Long said. “This is almost a sort of coming home for him, to kind of come full circle back to Madison House.”

Freilich said his goal as executive director is to lay a secure foundation for the next 50 years of Madison House leadership and service.

In order to strengthen the future of Madison House, he said he is looking towards the University and Charlottesville communities for involvement and support.

“If you’re a student who’s looking to give back to the community and show some leadership — Madison House needs you,” Freilich said.

“Whether you’re black or white or Latino or Asian or LGBTQ — if you’ve got what it takes to be a role model and represent the University out in the community — Madison House needs you.”

Freilich said Madison House needs support from University

alumni as well.

“Finally, if you’re an alum or member of the faculty or just someone out in the community who cares about Charlottesville — Madison House needs your financial support,” he said. “Together, we can make Madison House stronger and more effective than ever before.”

Freilich will begin working as Madison House’s executive director Feb. 16.

Photography Staff | The Cavalier Daily

Madison House sponsors volunteer programs in which students can participate to reach out and give back to the greater Charlottesville community.

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NEWS

Thursday, February 12, 2015

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City sees highest annual homicide rate since 2008

Monday, February 2, 2015

Vol. 125, Issue 34

All four cases still pending court procedures, students encouraged to practice caution

Lakshmi Kopparam Senior Writer

Last year, Charlottesville had four cases of homicide, resulting in five deaths — the highest number of annual homicides since 2008. City Police Captain Gary Pleasants said the statistic is anomalous and does not indicate any particular trend.

"Unless the reported cases are connected in some way, there is no reason to think this type of crime will continue at the same rate,” Pleasants said. “Homicides are one of the most difficult, if not impossible, crimes to predict.”

The first case took place May 10, when Antonio Washington, 30, was stabbed at Al Hamraa restaurant. Just one week later, Avery Gray Jr., 39, shot Oscar Brown, 36, outside of an apartment complex on Hardy Drive.

Suspects in the Washington and Brown cases still await trial, while the death of Otis Edward Scott, 27, has yet to be linked to a charge. Scott was outside of

a home on Prospect Ave. when he was gunned down over July 4 weekend.

A Dec. 6 house fire on Rugby Ave. added two more homicides to the count. Police found the remains of Robin Aldridge, 56, and her 17-year-old daughter Mani at the scene. Evidence revealed that the two were beaten to death before the house was set ablaze.

Only a few days later, 30-year-old Gene Washington was arrested and charged with the two counts of first degree murder for the house fire case.

All four cases this year are still being processed by the court system.

“This has been a highly taxing year on the police department and was particularly rough from September on,” Pleasants said. “It was essential for us to be able to work through every case without being distracted onto one track because of what the public or media believed.”

The case of missing second-year College student Hannah Graham was the only hom-

icide in Albemarle County in 2014. Graham was reported Sept. 13 and her remains were found in October. Charlottesville resident Jesse Matthew was indicted Tuesday on counts of first degree murder and abduction with the intent to defile.

Albemarle County Police Chief Steve Sellers said his department works closely with the Charlottesville Police Department in many cases.

“When a homicide does occur, we often work alongside our law enforcement partners including the City of Charlottesville,” Sellers said. “We work together and remain committed to combating crime and doing everything we can to keep our communities safe.”

Graham was seen in surveillance videos away from University facilities the night of her disappearance and was later found miles away from her residence, illustrating the scope of the community that University students belong to, Pleasants said.

“Students are part of our

LGBTQ* TERMINOLOGY

GENDER EXPRESSION (noun) how an individual projects their understanding of their gender in terms of dress style, hair style, attitude, mannerisms, etc.

BIOLOGICAL SEX

(noun) physical sex characteristics an individual is born with and those developed into maturity; includes genitalia, hormone levels, body shape, voice pitch, etc.

GRAPHIC BY MITCHELL WELLMAN

City police Captain Gary Pleasants says the number of homicides investigated by the Charlottesville Police Department is neither typical nor representative of a trend.

community like anyone else,” Pleasants said. “We encourage everyone on the Charlottesville community to practice caution in any situation and will be coming out with helpful tips very soon.”

Pleasants said the Charlottesville Police Department hopes the other work they do to keep

down crimes such as domestic violence helps to prevent homicide in turn. The rate of violent crime for the nation is down, and Pleasant said he sees it as positive and hopes to move forward with the decreasing trend.

CISGENDER (adj.) describes someone who identifies with the gender identity and gender expression expected of them based on their biological sex

GENDER ALIGNMENT

(noun) an individual’s personal sense of their gender based on how they fit into their understanding of different genders

Will Brumas| The Cavalier Daily

SEXUAL ORIENTATION (noun) describes an individual’s physical attraction to a certain gender or sex; homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality, and asexuality are some examples.

ROMANTIC IDENTITY (noun) describes the sex or gender with which an individual is likely to develop a romantic relationship or what they understand to be love; also called “romantic orientation”

TRANSGENDER

(adj.) refers to someone whose gender identity or gender expression does not correspond with those expected of their biological sex. Transgender people can be also be heterosexual, bisexual, gay, etc. since the term does not describe sexual orientation

INTERSEX

(adj.) describes an individual whose sexual anatomy or chromosomes do not correspond with traditional sex characteristics of “females” and “males”; individuals born with both female and male or ambiguous anatomical structures

PRONOUNS

gender neutral pronouns preferred by some gender diverse individuals include “they/them/their” and “ze/hir” — with “ze” in the nominative case and “hir” in the objective or possessive case — to replace gender specific pronouns “he/she/him/his/her”

F

focus Kathleen Smith, Katherine Ballington and Sara Rourke News Writers

The Cavalier Daily

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Kaine, One Less propose education bill Safe Relationships Act to educate K-12 students in hopes of reducing sexual violence in the ‘red zone’ One Less presented the Teach Safe Relationships Act alongside Virginia Democratic Sen.Tim Kaine to the U.S. Senate Feb. 3. Members of One Less worked with Kaine to craft the bill.

One Less is an all-female Contracted Independent Organization committed to educating students on sexual and domestic violence and empowering survivors in the community.

Kaine first met with One Less

in Dec. 2014 to discuss gender violence. One Less Outreach Chair Alex Pinkleton, a third-year College student, said the group discussion focused on the importance of early education. “[Kaine] had the idea to create this legislation in an effort to prevent sexual assault, domestic violence and dating violence,” Pinkleton

said. “One Less stressed the importance of early education regarding safe sexual and emotional relationships as many individuals arrive on Grounds without ever discussing consent or what a healthy relationship looks like, even if they have already experienced sexual activity or a relationship.”

Why K-12?

One Less member Madeline DuCharme, a fourth-year College student, said the idea behind the act is to educate middle school and high school students about healthy relationships before they enter college, which is typically considered a highrisk environment.

“This means that from a young age people will know what consent is and what constitutes a good relationship,” DuCharme said. “It will be a good thing for people moving into college to already have exposure to

this kind of education.”

DuCharme explained one of the major problems with sexual violence is that many students start college without proper knowledge of the subject. This is especially dangerous because of the “red zone,” a period in the first semester of college when the risk of sexual assault, especially among freshmen women, is the highest.

“Students are given a quick orientation, they talk about sexual assault, but they’re also talking about

their meal plan and roommates,” DuCharme said. “There isn’t enough time to really educate people. We need to start education earlier so it is more effective.”

One Less member Evelyn Wang, a first-year College student, said sexual violence is not limited to the university setting.

“According to [the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network], 44 percent of survivors are assaulted before the age of 18, which just shows how the issue of sexual assault is not

unique to college students,” Wang said. “The culture of violence begins at an early age and thus needs to be addressed early.”

Wang said that although sexual education is mandated in some public schools, many schools do not teach it adequately.

“We do not [want] the same to happen with safe relationship training,” Wang said. “Safe relationship training is only effective if the content of the training is good.”

The content of the bill

The proposal mandates educators create courses which “incorporate elements of effective and evidence-based programs that promote safe relationship behavior,” thus helping to prevent relationship violence among teens.

Although a seemingly ambiguous term, the bill defines “safe re-

lationship behavior” education as “age-appropriate education that promotes safe relationships and teaches students to recognize and prevent physical and emotional relationship abuse, including teen and adolescent dating violence, domestic abuse, sexual violence and sexual harassment.”

The bill would also aid local and state institutions in completing Title IX requirements and provide grants for the training of secondary school educators.

“This legislation would assist secondary schools by authorizing grants towards providing safe relationship behavior educational cur-

ricula for students and educating staff and administration about this curricula,” Pinkleton said. “Finally, it will require that these educational programs be culturally and linguistically appropriate and be based in the numerous studies about the most effective ways to reduce sexual and relationship violence.”

The legislation process

According to Kaine’s press release, the Relationships Act would amend the Elementary and Secondary Schools Act. The Schools Act is due for reauthorization by Congress later this year, which may also include education on appropriate behavior in sexual and domestic relationships as part of already required sexual education courses.

“The Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pensions (HELP) Committee has begun the process of reauthorizing the Elementary and Secondary Education Act (ESEA),”

Peck said. “Senator Kaine is encouraging the HELP Committee to incorporate this legislation into the ESEA as it’s redrafted,” the spokesperson said. “If it is not incorporated in the Committee’s bill, Senator Kaine will likely introduce it as an amendment when the bill is sent to the Senate floor for debate later this year.”

According to the press release, “this includes education regarding consent as well as emotional health and well-being in relationships.”

Wang said with a long process

of revision and debate ahead, she believes the next steps of passing and implementing the bill will not be easy. Accordingly, she said student lobbying efforts could play an important role in ensuring the bill is enacted.

“We will need student lobbyists to promote this bill, and [we] will need to promote it all across the country to raise awareness and support,” she said. “We need to fight to get this bill passed, and then we will need to fight to get it implemented correctly.”

Members of One Less said they are optimistic about the future of this bill and hope University students will stand behind the new legislation.

“I just want to encourage everyone to write letters to their senators and representatives to support this bill, and to encourage their friends to do the same,” Wang said. “We all have a crucial role to play in getting this bill passed, and not a single person [is] unimportant.”

The bill in action

Though this type of comprehensive health education is currently not mandatory in K-12 education, the hope is that such age-appropriate education may lessen the prevalence of relationship violence.

Albemarle School Board member Jason Buyaki said if the bill is passed, board members would work with administrators and teachers to decide how to implement it into the

school curriculum and obtain funding. Buyaki said he is wary regarding how exactly the bill will be implemented, particularly because it will be the responsibility of each school district to determine how best to incorporate these topics into school curricula.

“I’m always leery about anytime curriculum comes down from the federal government or state govern-

ment because a lot of times they’ll pass a law, but then they don’t send the funding along with it,” Buyaki said. “To me, this one may not have such heavy cost burden because you can incorporate it into the curriculum, but we would leave it up to the professionals in the school system.”

Buyaki said he believes the proposed legislation is an important step towards acknowledging the

problem sexual violence, but that it will likely not completely end incidents.

“A law won’t prevent violence, but it will raise awareness and raising awareness can help to condemn behaviors and stop them,” Buyaki said. “But it comes down to the individual and if the individual is bent on being violent, then there’s not a lot stopping them.”

Crafting the bill

The idea for the bill emerged in response to University students expressing concern over the lack of sexual assault prevention education in K-12 education, said Tim Kaine spokesperson Sarah Peck in an email. Peck said these comments were made after the Nov. 19 Rolling Stone article.

“With young women between

the ages of 16 and 24 consistently experiencing the highest rate of intimate partner violence, Sen. Kaine believes it’s important that schools promote safe relationship behavior and teach students about these heinous crimes that disproportionately impact young people,” Peck said.

S

sports Matthew Wurzburger Senior Associate Editor

Vanderbilt junior outfielder John Norwood deposited a Nick Howard fastball into the left field bullpen of TD Ameritrade Park Omaha. One inning later, the Commodores were crowned NCAA champions. The winning home run remains painfully etched in the collective memory of all Virginia baseball fans.

The 2014 collegiate baseball season ended 232 days ago. For the No. 2 Cavaliers, the new season begins Feb. 13.

Last season represented the high-water mark for the program.

The team recorded the second-most wins in its history with 53 and made its first trip to the College World Series Finals, where it outplayed Vanderbilt for most of the series with points scored.

But many of last season’s heroes are now minor league prospects.

Eight Cavaliers were selected in the 2014 MLB Draft — pitchers Howard, Artie Lewicki and Whit Mayberry; and position players Derek Fisher, Mike Papi, Branden Cogswell, Brandon Downes and Nate Irving.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

5

Baseball steps to plate for new year New-look No. 2 Cavaliers dig in after heartbreaking College World Series Finals loss, Sborz takes on closer role

To compound the problem further, junior outfielder Joe McCarthy underwent back surgery in late January and is expected to miss approximately 12 weeks. McCarthy started all 69 games last season and led the team in doubles and steals while batting .301.

However, this is not the first time coach Brian O’Connor has scrambled to plug holes up and down his roster — you cannot make 11 straight NCAA Tournaments without doing so.

The closer position exemplifies Virginia’s knack for making seamless transitions. The list of recent Virginia closers reads like a chronicle of late-inning royalty — Howard, Kyle Crockett, Justin Thompson, Branden Kline and Kevin Arico.

Arico was the last fireman to function in that role for multiple seasons when he did so in 2009 and 2010. Of the five closers listed above four were All-Americans.

Now, it is junior Josh Sborz’s turn to fill those grossly oversized shoes.

Sborz appeared in 15 games for the Cavaliers last season and posted a 6-4 record with a 2.92 ERA. The year before he went 3-0 with a 1.98 ERA in 27 relief appearances.

O’Connor is confident in Sborz’s ability to take the baton from Howard, who set the ACC record with 20 saves in 2014. “[Josh] has Nick Howard stuff,”

Ryan O’Connor | The Cavalier Daily

Junior right-hander Josh Sborz will look to maintain Virginia’s excellence at the back end of the bullpen as the team’s new closer. He was the team’s Saturday starter for much of last year.

O’Connor said. “He has experience pitching in the back part of games, and I think he is going to do a great job.”

And Sborz looks forward to stepping into his new role.

“I’m always excited to pitch for Virginia, win some games for [the team] and play baseball,” Sborz said.

Sborz is not the only pitcher

stepping into a new role. His transition to the pen opens a spot in Virginia’s weekend rotation. Additionally, the bullpen requires new members with the loss of Lewicki and Mayberry.

Questions also abound on the offensive side as the Cavaliers attempt to replace one-third of their hits, close to half of their runs bat-

ted in and two-thirds of their home runs from 2014.

O’Connor is looking to the team as a whole, and not particular individuals, to push runs across the plate this season.

“Last year we were so skilled and

see BASEBALL, page 73

Women’s lacrosse begins season No. 7 Cavaliers play No. 5 Northwestern Saturday afternoon in Kennsaw, Georgia

Chanhong Luu Associate Editor

After reaching the semifinals of the NCAA Tournament last season, Virginia women’s lacrosse faces expectations to earn the program’s first national championship since 2004. Last season’s semifinal result, a loss to conference foe Syracuse, was the best finish for the Cavaliers since the 2007 season when they lost in the title game against Northwestern.

“I think we have really high expectations,” coach Julie Myers said. “We have a taste of success in our mouth, so I think what we’re starting off this year is trying to finish what we started last year. We’re really excited. We have great leadership in our fourth- and fifth-year class.

They’re the hardest workers on our team, and they’re doing a really nice job of setting the tone for everyone to follow.”

Of the nine starters returning for No. 7 Virginia, six are seniors.

All-Americans midfielder Morgan Stephens, attacker Courtney Swan and attacker Liza Blue lead that fourth and fifth year class, which has improved in terms of postseason results since its first year, when Virginia lost in the first round of the Tournament.

“I think the way we ended our season last year and because people know that we have a lot of returners, they’re looking for us to do well and not to really surprise teams this year,” Swan said.

“It’s definitely an expectation.”

Last season, Swan and Blue were tops on the team in scoring.

Swan was also tied with fellow senior attacker Casey Bocklet in assists and led the team in draw controls.

Stephens led the team in caused turnovers while senior midfielder Daniela Eppler was tied with now-graduated Liz Colgan for the most ground balls won.

Emily Gorham | The Cavalier Daily

Senior attacker Courtney Swan earned IWLCA Second Team All-American honors last year.

Colgan was the starting goalkeeper for the Cavaliers last season. Virginia also lost midfielder Maddy Keeshan, who scored three goals in the semifinal game against Syracuse, and defender

Lauren Goerz.

Replacing Colgan this year is freshman goalkeeper Rachel Vander Kolk, who recorded 11 saves in the season-opening scrimmage against No. 17 Georgetown Saturday.

“I think our team is only as good as every class,” Myers said.

“I think we’ve got the great leadership and experience at the very top, and the first years are absolutely going to have to shake things up and really push everybody not only in practice but be ready for game time as well. The harder the first years work, the harder the second years will, and then the second years will push the third years and so on.”

In the scrimmage, the Virginia attack dominated early to take a 5-0 lead despite Georgetown’s dominating time of possession.

Junior attacker Kelly Boyd scored four goals in regulation, while Bocklet added three goals and three assists.

“I think their teamwork, hus-

tle and determination was pretty resilient all the way through from start to finish,” Myers said.

“There are a couple parts of our game we need to still practice and get some repetitions in with, but I think all told, they did a great job with their transition game. They really didn’t make any mistakes. We need to clean our shooting a bit, but I think we have a lot of great players to work with, and I like our good work and how we’re approaching the year.”

The Cavaliers will return to the field this Saturday against No. 5 Northwestern hoping to avoid what Myers calls last season’s “bad record,” when the team lost six of its first 10 games.

“We played some great teams that ended up in the top four, top six of the country,” Myers said.

“We weren’t bad in the begin-

see LACROSSE, page 73

6

SPORTS

The Cavalier Daily

No. 3 Virginia survives scare, downs NC State 51-47 The No. 3 Virginia men’s basketball team survived its first test Wednesday without injured junior guard Justin Anderson when it pulled out a gritty win against NC State. The Cavaliers struggled with offense throughout the game but held off the pesky Wolfpack to win 51-47.

The Cavaliers (22-1, 10-1 ACC) relied on their defense virtually the entire game, as they posted a field goal percentage of below 40 percent in the first half. Without Anderson, coach Tony Bennett chose to start junior forward Evan Nolte, but several players shuffled in and out of the line up in the first half, including freshmen Devon Hall and Isaiah Wilkins.

NC State struggled in the first

Junior forward Anthony Gill grabbed a game-high 11 rebounds as the Cavaliers rallied at PNC Arena in Raleigh, North Carolina. He scored nine points on 3-6 shooting.

Emily Gorham | The Cavalier Daily

half as well, although it was able to get some big points from junior guard Trevor Lacey to take a 21-19 lead going into halftime. Lacey was complemented by sophomore point guard Anthony Barber, who was able to beat his counterpart London Perrantes off the dribble a couple of times in the first half to give the Wolfpack the lead.

The second half saw much of the same shooting woes for both teams, although Nolte was able to hit a three to give Virginia a one-point advantage with just over 13 minutes to play in the game. Nolte also later drew a flagrant foul on Wolfpack freshman Caleb Martin, just as momentum was shifting in NC State’s favor.

Down the stretch junior guard

Malcolm Brogdon and junior center Mike Tobey sealed the game for Virginia. Tobey scored nine points after halftime and was solid defensively to help deter drives from Barber and Lacey, which was critical after Brogdon picked up his fourth foul with less than six minutes left in the game. The two linked up on a pretty pick-and-roll that Tobey finished forcefully with 1:18 to go, and the Cavaliers never looked back.

Virginia will need to tighten up moving forward, as it turned the ball over 12 times in the contest, compared to just twice against Louisville four days ago. The team will be back in action Saturday, when Wake Forest comes to John Paul Jones Arena.

The game is scheduled to start at 2:30 p.m.

Van Arsdale, Cavs poised to extend win streak vs. Drexel Fifth-year senior and Charlottesville native provides steady play for inexperienced team a year after pacing team with 27 assists Robert Elder

Senior Associate Editor

If there is one trademark of a Dom Starsia coached lacrosse team, it is a vaunted offense. Relatively recent names such as Matt Ward and Steele Stanwick have cemented Tewaaraton-worthy resumes in the orange and blue, while countless others have graced All-Conference and All-American lists.

But entering 2015, the Cavalier attack lacked its signature starpower. With the graduation of Mark Cockerton — who scored 47 goals last season — Starsia did not anticipate one person shouldering the load, but rather a collective effort to carry his offense that finished 8th nationally in scoring last season.

Still, there is no doubt who the leader of that retooled offense will be — senior attackman Owen Van Arsdale.

The fifth-year senior makes up for what he lacks in size with his leadership off the field and his savviness on the field, and his consistency earned him his teammates’ votes as one of the squad’s four captains in 2015.

“When we’ve had him out there, the offense has always flowed through him,” Starsia said. “He’s always been the smartest kid on the block — he doesn’t make a lot of mistakes.”

And come Saturday, Starsia will look for that steadiness as No. 9 Virginia (1-0) looks to start the season with a two-game win streak as it takes on No. 18 Drexel (0-0) in the Dragons’ season opener.

Van Arsdale – rated as the No. 28 attackman out of high school – did not initially burst onto the Virginia scene. He redshirted in 2011

while stars such as Stanwick and Chris Bocklet led Virginia to a national championship.

But the Charlottesville native — and son of coach Marc Van Arsdale — found himself thrust into action in 2012. He started all 14 regular season games, but experienced the highs and lows of an underclassman, as he found himself in and out of the lineup as the games progressed.

In 2013, his role was reduced, as Van Arsdale only started 10 games.

It was not until last season that Van Arsdale found stability in his playing time.

Serving as the distributor behind the cage, he led Virginia with 27 assists — 11 more than his next teammate. And this year, Van Arsdale will slide over to his more natural position on the left wing and assume a more goal-scoring oriented role.

As now the oldest member of the Virginia men’s lacrosse team, Van Arsdale naturally took on the captain duty in a season where the Cavaliers will likely deal with youthful miscues, as he knows the trials and tribulations they will encounter.

“They’re going to make mistakes, but part of my job and the other leaders on the team’s job is to support them through those mistakes,” Van Arsdale said.

However, the errors were few and far between Saturday when Virginia took down No. 7 Loyola, 13-12.

Junior midfielder Greg Coholan earned ACC Offensive Player of the Week honors for netting four goals and adding an assist. Meanwhile, in their first year as full-time starters, sophomore midfielder Zed Williams tallied three goals and two assists and sophomore attackman

Ryan Lukacovic put up two goals and two assists.

In his unassuming style, Van Arsdale — the lone senior attackman — tallied just one goal. But his lack of numbers in the box score is not a slight against his play, but rather a testament to the improvement of the relatively inexperienced offense he continues to lead. “[The young players] are competing for roles right away,” Van Arsdale said. “They don’t take anything for granted.”

And that same ambitious mindset paid dividends on the defensive end of the field against the Greyhounds. Virginia started three new close-defenders — two of whom were freshmen. But it was the senior who was most lauded for his performance.

Davi Sacco — a former walk-on

who had appeared in just nine career games before Saturday — was named the ACC Defensive Player of the Week for his efforts guarding Loyola All-American senior attackman Nikko Pontrello, whom Sacco limited to just one goal and two assists.

Like Van Arsdale, the 5-foot 10inch, 165-pound Fayetteville, New York native did not light up the stat sheet — his only mention is a 1:00 slashing penalty in the fourth quarter. But his solid day gives hope to a defensive group that was subject to unprecedented turnover for Starsia and his staff.

“There is no question we have some new players in key spots, but we do have comfort in who those guys are and how they prepare themselves,” Starsia said. “I think we’re ready to go.”

Playing at home this weekend, the Cavaliers appear to be the favorites against Drexel. The Dragons — who last fell against Denver in the NCAA quarterfinals — will likely be prone to errors in their first game of the season.

Opening against Virginia again this season, Drexel is still looking for its first win against Virginia in the series since 2007. And thanks in part to Van Arsdale’s leadership, the Cavaliers seem poised to extend their win streak.

“You have fresh faces on the field that haven’t been there before, but they’re quick learners,” Van Arsdale said. “We’re really confident in them.”

Opening face-off is scheduled for Saturday at 5:30 p.m. at Klöckner Stadium.

Marshall Bronfin | The Cavalier Daily

Senior attackman Owen Van Arsdale was not always such a fixture in the Virginia lineup. He worked his way into a leadership role.

SPORTS

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Men’s basketball takes on Wake

While junior guard Justin Anderson recovers from a fractured finger on his left hand, ACC-leading Virginia will try to stay atop the conference standings. Anderson will miss four to six weeks after undergoing surgery Sunday.

No. 3 Cavaliers look to continue ACC dominance despite losing Anderson Grayson Kemper Staff Writer

The “Good Ol’ Song” roared over the mumbles of a satisfied audience following Saturday’s 5247 victory over the ninth-ranked Louisville Cardinals. But uncertainty loomed in the Virginia locker room.

That night it was announced that star junior guard Justin Anderson had fractured a finger in his left hand, which would require immediate surgery, causing him to miss four to six weeks of play. Anderson, who entered the Louisville game as the team’s leading scorer, has emerged this season as an All-American caliber player as well as a team leader for the Cavaliers.

Despite the setback to both the team and the individual, the No. 3 Cavaliers look to continue their ACC dominance Saturday afternoon when they take on a struggling Wake Forest team.

Virginia (22-1, 10-1 ACC) enters Saturday’s matchup a week removed from having completed its

toughest stretch of schedule, in which it played three top-15 teams — No. 5 Duke, No. 15 North Carolina and No. 8 Louisville — over the course of one week. They followed that stretch up with a 51-47 win Wednesday night in Raleigh against NC State.

Wake Forest (12-13, 4-8 ACC) has struggled so far this season but is coming off a 72-70 win last night at home against Miami. Virginia’s stifling defense will be pitted against a strong rebounding Wake Forest team, whose junior forward Devin Thomas averages 9.8 rebounds a game, the second-highest mark in the ACC. A defensive performance similar to that of the first half of last Saturday’s game, in which Virginia held Louisville to 13 points and 19 percent shooting, would do well to keep both the Demon Deacons off the glass and the scoring low as the Cavaliers seek to retain its onegame lead in the ACC. The two teams haven’t faced off since Jan. 8 of last year in a game Virginia won convincingly, 74-51, in Charlottesville.

Junior center Mike Tobey expressed confidence that a continued stingy defensive posture would produce similar results.

“When we decide to defend like that we’re really hard to score against,” Tobey said.

In Anderson’s absence, Virginia will be looking to its role players to have a larger influence on the game. The two names that have stood out the most have been junior forward Evan Nolte and sophomore guard Marial Shayok, both solid defenders who have struggled at times on the offensive end.

Coach Tony Bennett weighed in on the effects of Anderson’s absence and his plans of addressing it on the court. In regards to Anderson, he stressed keeping the focus on the future and admitted that the role players have big shoes to fill.

“Everybody’s going to have to step up in his loss because of what he was bringing,” Bennett said.

“But I think that they’ll be some more opportunities for specifically Marial and as [everyone] saw obviously with Evan in the Louisville game.”

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Porter Dickie| The Cavalier Daily

With Virginia positioned as a tournament lock and facing a schedule without many significant obstacles, the team must proceed with caution regarding its level of motivation if it hopes to retain the ACC regular-season title and secure a top ranking position for this year’s NCAA Tournament.

Junior guard Malcolm Brogdon, the team’s leading scorer, addressed this concern and stressed how imperative it was for the team

to stay focused and continue to play with the drive and determination they have maintained all season.

“We can’t lose sight of the prize, and that’s competing every night,” Brogdon said. “We can’t put more weight on one game than we do another. We have to come out and play our best basketball.”

Saturday’s game is slated for a 2:30 p.m. tipoff and will be telecasted on ACC Network.

BASEBALL O’Connor’s squad visits East Carolina Feb. 13-14 Continued from page 5 had a lot of offensive standpoint,” O’Connor said. “This year is going to be a little different. Everyone needs to do their job for us to have the best offensive club that we can have.”

Virginia’s enviable position of

having an elite crop of starting pitchers will keep the Cavaliers in games should the batting order require time to work itself out.

Juniors Nathan Kirby and Brandon Waddell form the two-headed monster that shut down teams for long periods of time in 2014. Kirby — the reigning co-ACC Pitcher of the Year and a 2014 All-American

— won nine games for Virginia last year and had 112 strikeouts. Waddell became only the 11th Cavalier to win 10 or more games when he went 10-3 last year. The Houston native can also eat innings—he led the staff with 114 innings pitched.

“Having a veteran pitching staff is crucial,” senior infielder Kenny Towns said. “Pitching wins games,

and it will take a lot of pressure off our offense and the young guys we’re relying on.”

The preseason prognosticators have expressed their confidence in the young Virginia offense. The Cavaliers were picked to win the ACC and are ranked between second and fourth in the sport’s major polls.

“There are high expectations for us,” Towns said. “We can’t have our goal to win the ACC Tournament.

We have to play our style and take it game-by-game, and we’ll worry about everything else when the time comes.”

The Cavaliers play their first series against East Carolina Feb. 13 and 14.

LACROSSE Team returns nine starters, seeks NCAA championship Continued from page 5 ning — we just came up short a couple times too many and that is what really affected us, but the nice thing was when we had a second chance at those teams, we were the team that was standing on top at the end. We did change

our schedule a little bit, but it’s still tough and anything can happen. But I do like the maturity on our team and our focus and our drive, and I think that will take care of a lot.”

The Cavaliers also began the 2014 season against Northwestern, losing 13-12, and have not won in any of their last eight meetings against the Wildcats.

After playing Northwestern in Kennesaw, Georgia, the Cavaliers will play three road games before opening their home schedule.

“I kind of love the road,” Myers said. “Clearly you’re playing on an opponent’s field, and it’s not so familiar to us, but it’s pretty much the same field everywhere you go, same dimensions, same size goal. I like that it’s go-

ing to give us a chance to really bond off the field because I think a group of women like ours, the closer we feel off the field, the better we’re going to play on the field.”

Players disagree about road time, but do agree on is the excitement of starting a new season.

“I don’t love being on the

road, but I like that we’re starting,” Blue said. “We’re up for any challenge. That’s just the way it is.”

“You either have a bunch to start at home or a bunch away,” Swan said. “I think if we can really pull out some good wins in those away games, it will make coming back to Klöckner even better.”

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opinion

The Cavalier Daily

8

LEAD EDITORIAL

Stop damning hook-up culture Hooking up, though it has its own problems, can be good for women

Comment of the day “Perhaps we are indeed worthy of the legalistic, procedurally focused, and morally untethered multiple-sanction system currently being proposed.”

“Th. Jefferson” in response to Rick Yoder’s Feb. 9 guest column, “The moral failures of the honor referenda.”

“Hook-up culture” — that amorphous concept destined to destroy any lasting morality in our society — is often cited as a basis for gender inequality. The argument is that men are biologically predisposed to enjoy casual sex, while women are more inclined to become attached, leaving them emotionally damaged.

The practice of hooking up, then, is inherently unbalanced in its power dynamic, since men appear to reap all the benefits.

But hook-up culture is not necessarily inherently bad for women. First, the belief that men reap all the benefits in this exchange is itself sexist: women, like men, certainly have the capacity to enjoy casual sex. While it is often suggested that emotional attachment stems from sex more quickly for women than it does for men, a 2012 study challenges this assertion — and even if the assertion were true, this

should not necessarily preclude women from engaging in and enjoying casual sex.

The debate about the benefits of hooking up versus the benefits of traditional dating encompasses many arguments, but the backand-forth regarding what sexual dynamic is better for women misses key points. A power dynamic already exists between men and women that grants men more control. This is not the result of hook-up culture or dating culture: this is a dynamic rooted in history. Any ill-treatment of women in either culture is a symptom of an existing dynamic, not a result of that culture.

But present power dynamics aside, hooking up can prove to have significant benefits for women. In Elizabeth A. Armstrong, Laura Hamilton and Paula England’s “Is Hooking Up Bad for Young Women?” the authors argue that, based on inter-

views with young women, “committed relationships [detract] from what women [see] as main tasks of college.” Essentially, the amount of time and emotional energy required of a relationship is no longer a burden for a woman who prefers casual sex; in fact, she has more time to complete her academic work and achieve good grades. Additionally, women in relationships find it “difficult to meet people” — perhaps an inhibitor to the kind of social networking characteristic of a college experience (a networking that can help later in life when college friends have dispersed around the country and may be helpful in finding jobs).

Hooking up has its own consequences: women enjoy sex much more in committed relationships, and women having sex in committed relationships are more likely to orgasm. But, according to Armstrong, Hamilton

and England, “the costs of bad hookups [tend] to be less than the costs of bad relationships.” A mediocre sexual experience will not distract from completing academic work well and on time; a devastating break-up may do just that.

Sexual encounters — within committed relationships or not — are rife with imbalanced power dynamics and ill-treatment of men and women. And there is no definitive answer as to whether hooking up or dating is a better option overall. For some women, hooking up is more desirable, and for others committed relationships are — but it is up to these women to decide for themselves which avenue they choose to take. If some women are able to satisfy a carnal need without distracting from the goal of attending college — which is, of course, to learn — then hooking up works just fine.

Choose love over hooking up he Italians have a beautiful but love tells us, “Darling, you are way of saying I love you: “ti beautiful forever.” voglio bene.” Literally translated, If we’re honest with ourselves, it means “I desire good for you.” It we have to admit we have a deep sounds like a nice sentidesire for this love that ment, perhaps, but what affirms our personhood JOY RUIZ is this “good?” Good and whispers forever to Guest Viewpoint is something that acwus. We want to love knowledges the worth, and be loved authentidignity and beauty innate in every cally, as we are, fully and completeperson on this planet. Good says, ly. We want to be known, intimateyes, you have a body that is ap- ly known. We long to share our pealing and desirable, but you also dreams with a special someone and have dreams and hopes, burdens partake in theirs as well. and wounds. True love is good, beYet the sad news is that the difcause it asks, “How can I serve you, ficulty we found in just talking to regardless of the cost?” On the oth- the opposite sex in grade school is er hand, the hook-up culture asks, nothing compared to what we’re “How much pleasure can I get from up against now. True love has, in a you, regardless of the consequenc- sense, become inconceivable. Forty es?” The reason I don’t participate to 50 percent of marriages in the in hook-up culture isn’t because United States end in divorce, and it encourages people to go too far after seeing so many of our parents with their bodies, but because it and close friends fail to live up to doesn’t encourage people to go far “till death do us part,” it is incredenough with their entire selves. Ul- ibly easy to become jaded. Love timately what hook-up culture tells must be too hard. Romance is for us is, “Baby, you look hot tonight,” the movies. Who wants to be vul-

nerable anyway? It’s scary.

So just add hormones and the concept of “YOLO” to this outlook on life and you get hook-up culture. It offers fun and gives us those feelings of being desired without

whatever you’d like with your body, given that the laws of our country are followed. After all, it was our very own Thomas Jefferson who affirmed our inalienable right to the pursuit of happiness — and many college students choose to pursue happiness through hook-up culture. I don’t condemn their decisions; rather, I’d like to challenge the direction of this purCan joy be brought forth from a hook-up in suit. Does hooking which two people choose to use each other solely up lead to happiness?

Is it capable of bringfor pleasure? ing you joy?

To the first question, many of you the burden of getting emotionally would answer yes. Hooking up invested or involved. It says, “My feels good, it’s exciting, it’s fun — body is mine to do whatever I desire of course it makes you feel happy. with whomever I so please, as long But is this a sort of happiness that as there is mutual consent.” It’s un- can be maintained? Does it satisfy? deniable that there is pleasure, albe- To the second question, you may it fleeting, involved in hooking up. hesitate to respond, because joy And clearly, you can choose to do and happiness, while related, are

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Hooking up fails to satisfy the need for love, joy and initmacy

not quite the same. Joy suggests delight, and isn’t quite an emotion like happiness, but rather a deeper sort of attitude or way of experiencing life. An infant expresses joy at the sight of her mother, a bride and groom experience joy upon saying their vows, a father at observing the success of his son and friends upon partaking in good news. Joy is a consequence of dignity-affirming love. A “ti voglio bene” sort of love. It fills us with meaning and an appreciation for our lives. Can joy be brought forth from a hookup in which two people choose to use each other solely for pleasure?

Let us not be deceived by the mere feelings of self-satisfaction that hook-ups give us; authentic, dignity affirming, self-giving and joy-producing love is really what we seek.

Joy Ruiz is a third-year in the School of Engineering and a member

OPINION

Thursday, February 12, 2015

9

Sex after trauma

he worst trauma I experi- py and talked through what had enced was not when one happened with John. My theraof my ex-boyfriend’s fraternity pist suggested I take precautions brothers tried to rape me at a date in the future — namely, telling function. The worst someone before I have trauma I experienced KATHERINE RIPLEY sex with him about my was seven months latassault, and what my Guest Viewpoint er, when I had a trigger triggers might be. while having sex with I know she’s right. my ex-boyfriend, and he left.

But I have never done that.

For those of you who may not Like many others, a lot of my know what a trigger is, it’s some- sexual experiences in college have thing that makes you remember been casual. I’ve always there’s your traumatic event, in a way thought nothing inherently that you feel like it’s happening wrong with that. I’m a big advoto you all over again. You are dis- cate of sexual freedom, and for connected from the here and now. some, the choice to have casual You feel scared, your heart races, sex is part of that. But casual ensometimes you feel like you can’t counters might not be best for move or breathe. people who have had trauma. Any My ex-boyfriend (I’ll call kind of consensual sex with anhim John) couldn’t handle see- yone can be difficult after you’ve ing me in such a state. When suffered a traumatic sexual expeI have a trigger, I usually just rience, but when you meet someneed someone to sit with me for one at a party or at the bar and a little while. John did the oppo- then go home together, there ususite: he got up, got dressed, and ally isn’t a whole lot of talking that walked out the door. He told me happens before you start taking he couldn’t comfort me when he your clothes off. There’s an unspowas the one who made me upset. ken rule that there is no room for But he didn’t understand that he disclosing baggage like that. wasn’t to blame; the person who Because of the lingering efinflicted my initial trauma was. fects of John’s abandonment, I That’s hard to comprehend when couldn’t let go of the feeling that the perpetrator isn’t in your life I was damaged. I didn’t want to anymore — when you’re only tor- amplify that feeling by putting a tured by your memories. disclaimer on myself — “be sure That summer I went to thera- you handle me with care, oth-

erwise I’ll break again.” It just doesn’t feel right to take someone home with me, knowing all we want from each other is sex, and sit him down to give him a spiel about my trauma. My experience tells me he’d probably just walk away right there. John was someone whom I cared about and who (I thought) cared about me, and he didn’t even stay to comfort me.

Someone who has no personal attachment to me whatsoever — why would he even bother?

You might say to me: why don’t you just wait until you’re

from the party because I wanted to was part of my normal. After my trauma I continued to do it in order to convince myself that I was healed — that my past didn’t have to inhibit me.

But it does inhibit me. It’s hard to accept that. Even if you can get to a point where you can say and believe it’s not your fault, you still have to sleep with the lights on sometimes. You still have to take only a certain route home.

And you still have to consciously remind yourself of the here and now, when the guy with a face like Adam Levine and abs like Hugh Jackman is taking your shirt off. You still have to spend so much energy suppressing your bad memories and It just doesn’t feel right to take someone home anchoring yourself with me, knowing all we want from each other is to the present, in a where all sex, and sit him down to give him a spiel about moment you want to do is lie my trauma. back and let go.

Where does this in a steady relationship? And leave us, in a community where that’s valid. When sex is difficult the rate of sexual trauma is far because of traumas or fears, it’s too high, and in a culture where probably best to do it with some- casual sexual encounters are so one you know you can really commonplace — even pressured trust. But I didn’t go that route be- upon us by friend groups? Well, cause I wanted to return to a sense I have always believed you should of normalcy. Taking a guy home do what you want to do, free of

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A survivor’s insight on sex after sexual assault judgment or pressure from anyone else. Sometimes it’s hard to tease out your authentic desires from cultural standards, but to the extent you are capable of knowing yourself, listen to that instinct. And most importantly, in taking the liberty of doing what you want to do, take care that you don’t harm anyone — and that includes yourself. For survivors of trauma, this means waiting until you’re ready. And for those who haven’t survived trauma, it means being more aware of the fragility of your partners’ sexual selves. None of the men I took home with me had any power or responsibility to fix me. But they did have a responsibility to communicate — to check in every step of the way — because that’s what you owe anybody you share that level of intimacy with, no matter what their history is.

And if something goes wrong, remember that it isn’t your fault, just as it wasn’t mine. It’s hard to understand, but in the here and now, all I need you to do is stay.

Katherine Ripley is a fourthyear in the College and was the 125th executive editor of The Cavalier Daily.

Grindr, gay men and the University o create a Grindr account ship,” many are brave enough to all you need is a phone with put that they’re on there for “dates” Internet connection and about and “right now.” However, given 30 seconds to put in your e-mail, the unusual amount of “networka password and the captcha code ing” going on at 2 a.m., I feel it’s (so they know you’re fair to say most of our ANDRE SANABIA peers on Grindr are on human). With roughly Guest Viewpoint 10,000 new users every there for a good night. day adding to the curOne of the defining rent database of 5 miltraits of Grindr is how lion profiles across 192 countries, you can use the profiles of others.

Grindr is one of the fastest grow- The profiles are organized into a ing “gay social media” apps in the square grid four thumbnail picworld. Just like with our hetero tures across and with an infinite counterparts and their Tinder, gay scroll downwards. Something that hook up culture is alive and flour- is very distinct to the University’s ishing at the University. geographic location (which is how Except for those staunchly op- profiles are organized, by a user’s posed to hook-up culture, Grin- proximity to you), is the abundr has touched almost every gay dance of blank profile pictures and man’s life at some point. It can be lack of face pictures. And there’s difficult to spontaneously meet two possible explanations for this. another gay man within the same One is that users are still closetsocial situations that our fellow ed and do not want to disclose anyhetero Hoos meet each other. Un- thing that might out them publicly. like its Tinder counterpart, Grindr There are definitely a lot of those gives you options as to why you — especially hailing from the are on it. Some put that they are on Greek community — on the app. there for “friends” and “chats,” the While I have found the University occasional first-year will put down to be a pretty accepting communithat he’s looking for a “relation- ty, I can understand why so many

of my queer peers are concerned about coming out and aren’t ready.

Another reason is that those users may be new to Grindr and are sticking their toes tentatively into the gay hook up world and aren’t ready to put up a picture of themselves. They are in the Fassinger Model’s “exploration” stage and are characterized by longing, excitement and wonder. And so while sex can be just sex, or no-strings-

tion can leave a still developing gay man with a very pessimistic view of himself and lower his self-esteem. He may also feel rejected by the gay community even though these apps are not inclusive of all the LGBTQ community. And more importantly, it can ruin a man’s relationship to sex and make him averse to exploring again.

I think most gay men at the University, though, are out and ready to experience the same crazy college nights others are making memories of. With every incoming class it feels that more students are arriving at the Having an outlet online where we can just talk University already out to their famifrankly about sex and our interests can be a ly and high school very bonding experience — even if nothing friends — and theresexual actually happens. fore are ready to partake in hook-up attached (“NSA,” as is said on the culture. app), there can be some emotional Now, I am by no means advobaggage for those who are explor- cating for an end to apps like Grining their sexual desires for the first dr or discouraging gay men from time. One bad experience or rejec- using them. Because of gay social

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Grindr fosters a sense of community among gay University students media apps, I have made some amazing friends, had great sex and even gotten a boyfriend or two.

There can be a sense of community when interacting with these guys online: so many gay men try to minimize their sex lives publically, especially to their families, in an attempt to conform to heteronormative ideals and be “just like everyone else.” Having an outlet online where we can just talk frankly about sex and our interests can be a very bonding experience — even if nothing sexual actually happens. However, as with most sexually charged social spaces, one should be cautious and aware.

Not everyone is on these apps to be your friend but not everyone is looking for just sex either. Whether you’re looking for “friends” or “right now,” in the end, Grindr can be a goldmine for someone ready to mingle.

Andre Sanabia is a second-year in the College.

HU MOR

Thursday, February 12, 2015

10

Just for wits.

A Valentine’s Day manifesto (or: anger at the bloodless) n the 1982 documentary "All if you decide to text him again

by Myself," Eartha Kitt is after having set a boundary asked: “If a man came into your for yourself, sweet old Eartha life, wouldn’t you want to Kitt rolls over in her grave. Keep compromise?”

She in cackles and responds, mind who is #1: it’s DREW KISER “Stupid.” We cannot Eartha Kitt. But don’t Humor Columnist all be Eartha Kitt (I forget that #2 is numhave tried, but the ber You, and you deDMV said you can’t change your serve better than to be dragged first and last names at the same down by slobbering #3s and #4s. time). But maybe this Valentine’s You know why Nicki Minaj is Day we should try to emulate so filthy rich? Because she never her, to get a fat slice of that sweet let herself get drawn and unapologetic self-love. into a relationship in which Too often I meet extraordi- she didn’t share control. She teasnary girls, smart and funny and es the dudes in Young Money but charming, who, by some keeps her eyes on the prize, not “Family Guy” logic, date the guys. Ruth Bader Ginsburg schmucks. This is not to say never fooled around with Scalevery guy is a shmuck (99 per- ia, you can bet on that too, and cent is look at how cool and smart she is technically not “all”), nor do I today. Sylvia Plath, on the other mean to say that it’s the responsi- hand, made excuses for her husbility of a woman to address her band, who was abusive and unboyfriend’s schmuck-ness. faithful; he did not support her But I just want to make it clear during her suicidal crisis, and to every girl and gay here: If you burned her diary to boot. Don’t don’t like your partner, you make excuses for your partner. don’t have to date him. Every If you catch yourself thinking, time you forgive your partner for “I need to be reasonable about ignoring you or saying some- this,” just stop what you’re doing thing rude about your friends, or and resolve never to act on that

SNAPCHATS

BY JACKSON CASADAY

thought again. “Be reasonable” is not your own thought. It’s someone else (likely some schmuck) talking through your head. Reasonability in relationships is the same as respectability in politics: It’s a way to keep people from getting angry and demanding what they need. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need: This day, and every day, is about you.

And it’s fine to be sad on Valentine’s Day. If you joke that you’re just gonna eat pizza and

“The Pelican Brief?” Not me.

Take a night off. Light a fancy candle and teach yourself some cool knife tricks. And if you have some extra time, astral project into 2019, when you have an awesome job and your booty game is nigh fatal. But, assuming you are partnered this V-Day, let’s think critically about what your other half is giving you.

When your man comes over with a two-buck Chuck and a heartshaped box, odds are you’ll say, “He’s so sweet!” But he’s not sweet. You know what is sweet?

The female orgasm.

And from the looks of your hubby, I’d bet he couldn’t tell a clitoris from a clariYou know what is sweet? The female orgasm. net. If his romantic ambition ends at the Corner Grocery, he probably ends at the three-minute mark. And when chocolate and watch Netflix, evaluating your lover, use this then absolutely do those things. lesson in etymology. The word That sounds awesome. Who “passion” comes from the Latin wants some dude poking you word for “suffering.” Keep this with his boner halfway through in mind before subjecting your-

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MORE AWKWARD THAN SOME

SOLE SURVIVOR

self to another night of dreary, one-sided love-making. If there is no blood on the sheets, it does not count as sex.

You, good reader, may ask what my plans are for this break.

Unfortunately I will be in the great state of North Carolina for a conference. But thanks to the Internet, my boy-toy and I will skype to our heart’s content. And if you think we can’t manage to infringe upon a sodomy law, a public decency law, as well as the Geneva Convention itself before we log off, you are sorely mistaken. And that’s the definition of romance.

So don’t compromise this V-Day. There are nearly 22,000 people our age at the University, and therefore there’s absolutely no reason to spend another gritty night in Kyle’s frat house, or let Dave use your nice toothpaste because he has chapter in the morning. Kick the schmucks to the curb. And if you would like an affirmation, here’s Eartha’s relationship goal: “I fall in love with myself, and I want someone to share it with me.”

BY CHAUNCEY LEE

BY MICHAEL GILBERTSON

Like what you see? Join Humor! For more information, contact humor@cavalierdaily.com

The Cavalier Daily

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11

A 36-question path to intimacy

life

Two University students attempt to engineer closeness on the first date

Brittany Hsieh Feature Writer

It was a quiet Monday night on the Corner as fourth-year Architecture student Emily Heymann and third-year Commerce student Mike McConnell met each other for the first time. As they walked to dinner, both students were hesitant about what was to follow — asking each other a set of 36 questions which are particularly intimate for a first date.

In a recently published New York Times article, Mandy Len Catron channels psychologist Arthur Aron’s work to test if intimacy can be fostered between strangers through a series of 36 questions.

The questions are divided into three sets based on intimacy level.

The successful results of Catron’s

experiment inspired Heymann and McConnell’s blind date experiment.

At 7 p.m., Heymann and McConnell met on the steps of Old Cabell Hall before proceeding to Boylan for burgers and Bold Rock hard cider.

“I was a little nervous because [the date] was structured with all the questions,” Heymann said. “36 questions is a lot, and we went through all 36.”

After Heymann and McConnell introduced themselves for the first time, the tension dissipated and easy, comfortable conversation ensued.

“I thought [Emily] was cool right away,” McConnell said. “The atmosphere became pretty cordial after a few minutes of talking. It wasn’t really awkward. I had a feeling it was going to be a good dinner.”

Before the date, both Heymann and McConnell said they were intimidated by the intensity of the questions. They said many of the questions resembled ones they would ask a close friend — not a first date.

“A lot of the questions seemed more like friend questions because you would be sharing things that you [normally] wouldn’t be willing to share on a first date,” Heymann said. “I feel like I definitely got to know him and got to know who he is.”

Both Heymann and McConnell became more vulnerable as the questions became more intimate. Difficult questions included “When did you last cry in front of another person?” to “If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone and why hav-

en’t you told them?”

“There were definitely a few [questions I found difficult],” McConnell said. “I would say the last one [was the hardest] — the personal problem to share with somebody else. Coming up with an answer to that one was a challenge.”

While the pair said they did not experience immediate romance, they developed a strong bond over the course of the date as they shared deep aspects of their personalities.

“Some of the conversations we were sharing were very personal things about each other,” Heymann said. “I felt like I could trust him and be genuine with him. I felt like I was seeing who he truly was, and I felt intimate in that respect.”

Nearly three hours after the date started, Heymann and McConnell finished answering the questions but decided to stay out

What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why? MM: That’s a no. Hard no on that. I think that [for] a telephone conversation, especially if it is casual, there is nothing to rehearse. I think it is a bit of a strange thing to do, to be honest. I think it is better to have things come naturally.

EH: No, it would be kind of weird. We both rehearse presentations in our heads, but not out loud.

THE

QUESTIONS

MM: I would say my upbringing. Where I went to school, my family life — it wasn’t very turbulent. I would [also say] opportunities, like the opportunity to come to U.Va. Those are some things I definitely feel grateful for.

EH: My parents. I am most grateful for my parents supporting me and pushing me to be my best.

MM: We both are happy with our upbringing, both from Virginia and we both are interested in traveling.

EH: We both have brown hair, put our full selves into what we [are] involved in. We both seem passionate about a few things.

MM: I have two — one would be a scholarship I received in high school to study abroad in Morocco and the second would be starting my fraternity, Alpha Sigma Phi, here at U.Va. EH: I got my Girl Scout Gold Award in high school, which is the equivalent of [the] Eagle Scout Award, and that was my greatest accomplishment.

Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner.

For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

Name three things you and your partner seem to have in common.

longer, talking about other topics.

At the end of the night, both said felt like they knew the other person well.

“When we first started talking, [Emily] was sharing what she did for extracurriculars compared to me, and there wasn’t [much similarity between us],” McConnell said. “But then the more we talked, the more I realized that we share a lot of the same values. So the emotional journey got deeper in terms of [how] I realized this is someone I can be a friend [to] or share a bond [with].”

Heymann said the night was successful — especially for a blind date.

“It was a lot of fun,” Heymann said. “I am really glad that I did this. If the questions didn’t make us fall in love, that’s okay because I think I just made a good, new friend at U.Va.”

MM: Down to earth — I noticed that right away. I thought [she] was really cool. She was very easy to talk to, very outgoing. She was also very genuine, which is rare.

EH: He seemed like he was very genuine, passionate about what he does.

What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

MM: Not much, I would say. Assuming it [is] something someone doesn’t find offensive, I think everything should be joked about — to an extent.

EH: Anything can be joked about, but you need to know your audience.

Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

MM: Extremely down to earth.

EH: He had a sexy voice and we both like each other’s smiles.

LIFE

Thursday, February 12, 2015

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Annie Mester Life Columnist

Top 5 Ways to Meet Someone Special in the Digital Age 1. Tinder shared a link

It’s eerily reminiscent of your grandma wagging her finger back and forth at you, telling you, “We weren’t so superficial in my age!” — back and forth — swipe right, swipe left.

What’s great about Tinder is the only distinguishing criterion is location. Become a basketball wife in no time! What’s not so great about Tinder is the only distinguishing criterion is location.

Accidentally match with your first-year calculus TA in no time!

Though Tinder is the epitome of judging a book by its cover, it’s hard to deny we’re all guilty of that sometimes. There’s no better way to say happy Valentine’s Day than by affording a tangible recognition of someone’s cuteness.

Tip: Tindering makes a great drinking game.

2. OkCupid posted on Top 10’s wall

Okay, Cupid, this is probably not what you envisioned yourself turning into, was it? From cute, questionably naked, lovable baby to online dating site real quick, OkCupid is slightly more exclusive than Tinder.

How so, you may ask? OkCupid is a “free social networking and dating website that also offers features that include blogs and member-created quizzes.” Does this mean my Spanish 2010 flashcards that formerly lived on QuizUp could find a new home and, by some tactical substitution theory, find me a boyfriend?

OkCupid: like Match.com and eHarmony without the annoying commercials, but with twice the annoying emails.

3. Facebook shared a link

Imagine the romantic story you’d be able to tell your future children: “It all started with an innocent Facebook poke, which spawned into a flourishing romance.”

Facebook’s strengths as a dating platform include the ability to use highly specific emojis, the inability to turn off read receipts on messenger so everyone knows when you’re ignoring them and the fun possibility of delving into the black hole of your interest’s seventh grade life.

Without having to make any actual contact with a person, Facebook gives you the astonishing ability to see into aspects of someone’s life one normally learns via real life communication. It’s all fun and games until you mention something to a person you only know from their Facebook.

5. Instagram posted on Top 10’s wall

Consider the double-tap to “like” function like my beating heart, as if the heart I just put on your picture were me giving you my real heart. That picture of your banana French toast lets me know so much about you — you’re social, going to brunch with your friends.

You’re healthy — fruit! — but not afraid of complex carbohydrates.

Your punny caption hints at your sophisticated humor, and your hashtag #brunch really clears up whether this was in fact breakfast or brunch. Your choice of filter clues me in to your mood of choice — the Toaster filter, obviously the most sultry — and I can gauge your popularity based on how many likes you receive. Will you marry me?

4. Christian Mingle shared a link

A more pointed dating site, targeted towards those specifically of the Christian religion. Sites like JDate — for those who practice Judaism — and Muslima — for practicing Muslims — also exist. A benefit of these sorts of sites would be bypassing the religion question, something often considered awkward or a tough subject to bring up on a date. How would all the pairs of animals on Noah’s Ark find each other if not for the help of a religious dating site? The menorah’s eight candles were obviously burned

by Judah to create romantic ambiance.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

A&E arts & entertainment

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Relationships according to Taylor Swift

Reviewing the relatability of Taylor Swift’s infamous love songs Anne Duessel Staff Writer

It is commonly agreed that Italian and French are languages of love, but in today’s pop culture world, Taylor Swift crafts the most relatable love language.

The best part of this pop star’s music is that her songs aren’t just about her former flames — they’re about all of us. No matter where you are on life’s emotional roller coaster, there is a Taylor Swift song to help you through it.

This Valentine’s Day is also Swiftmas. Which of this starlet’s songs really speaks to you?

“You Belong With Me” is the perfect song to play after attending a basketball game (that wasn’t against Duke) and imagining what it would be like to have a basketball player as your spouse.

It would probably be fun, and you’d get a ton of Twitter followers, but you would also have to wonder about installing doors

tall enough for your vertically-gifted husband or wife.

“Enchanted” exists for the time that cutie in your class asked if you wanted to be in a study group for your big exam.

You thought about what a great story that’d be to tell your kids.

“The Story of Us” is for if the aforementioned cutie never talks to you again. At least you did well on the test?

“Love Story” is for those new couples who talk to each other all the time and can never figure out who will hang up first on the phone. That is sweet and everything, but those same couples also walk incredibly slowly next to each other and hog the entire sidewalk. To make matters worse, they are usually holding hands, so anyone stuck behind them either has to cool their jets or jump over them like a hurdle.

“All Too Well” is the “Marley & Me” of Taylor Swift songs.

Everyone should listen to it, but

no one should listen to it — it will eat you alive.

“Out of the Woods” is the perfect love song for your academic career. Swift sings about having a love that you are never comfortable with or sure about, and how painful that experience can be.

Spoiler alert: no, you are never out of the woods. You go to U.Va. Taylor Swift has said that “Blank Space” is less about her personal life and more about the media’s fictionalized creation of her. This song also holds, without a doubt, the lyrics most frequently used as captions for Instagram selfies. “Magic, madness, heaven, sin,” right? I am guilty of this, but you know what — be proud. Love yourself, or, more accurately, love the image of yourself that you’re projecting on the internet!

“We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” is Taylor Swift’s most annoying song, which makes it most fitting for the person in your life that you want to

quit but just can’t. Sing it as loudly as you want — it’s very catchy — but I bet you two will get back together anyway.

“Treacherous” is for the moments in your life when you order a Mellow Mushroom pizza and eat the entire thing.

“Style” is for your Tinder hook-up. However, most of this song is about cars.

“I Know Places” is another hook-up song, this time in the Alderman stacks.

“The Best Day” is a song Taylor Swift wrote about her family, and is perfect for out-of-staters who really miss their folks. Quit complaining, in-staters; you probably saw yours last weekend.

“22” is a song about friendship and nearing graduation. Luckily for you, though, your friendships and your time spent at U.Va. are

Courtesy Marshall Bronfin

as timeless as this sick beat.

Speaking of sick beats, “Shake it Off ” is about the most important love story you have, your relationship with yourself. No matter what is going on in your love life, this is the best place to return. The haters are going to “hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, the players are going to play, play, play, play, play,” and you are going to be as great as you always have been. Get down with your bad self!

Lastly, “Thug Story,” featuring T. Pain, represents the actual greatest love in your life, Taylor Swift herself.

Student theater group to perform ‘The Wild Goose Chase’ Lighthearted romantic comedy represents shift from tradition for Shakespeare on the Lawn Charles Hancock Senior Writer

This article contains minor spoilers of the play “The Wild Goose

Chase.”

With its upcoming production of “The Wild Goose Chase” this week, Shakespeare on the Lawn is taking two steps to shake up their traditional model.

Courtesy SoTL

First, “Goose Chase” is a light comedy — the polar opposite of the sorts of Shakespearean tragedies and histories that have been well represented in SotL’s past productions. More surprisingly, however, the show is not even

by William Shakespeare — rather it is a Renaissance play from Shakespeare’s contemporary John Fletcher. The Cavalier Daily was fortunate enough to see a preview of several scenes during the production’s dress rehearsal last Monday night, and had the opportunity to speak with members of the cast and crew.

SotL President and cast member Thomas Hische, a fourth-year College student, said this show is “a chance to do something a little different for [SotL] … [and] to break ground for our organization as we approach our 20th Anniversary.”

Although unusual for a Shake-

speare performance group to perform a play by anyone but the Bard, this romantic comedy looks to be a fun change of pace, coming just in time for Valentine’s Day weekend.

The play takes place in Paris where, in classic screwball tradition, matches are made, hearts are broken and lovers try to woo, incite jealousy and win love. The scenes proved to be a terrific representation of a rom-com with charming energy, conducting everything smoothly, and a colorful cast of characters plotting to win hearts.

Hische described the tone well, saying that it has “no deaths, [and] everyone gets married.”

Although not written by the Bard, the vernacular is very similar. Don’t be intimidated by the Shakespearean-esque prose — the actors admirably convey the meaning of the text so the story is always clear.

Fourth-year College students and director Billy Baker called the show a nice change of pace.

“People don’t realize how many Renaissance writers there were [since Shakespeare overshadows them],” Baker said.

Baker said he was drawn to the show because it was “something to break up SotL’s streak of tragedies and death. … [and] showcase the breadth and depth of [the] organization. … [It] forces us to think creatively.”

The show contributes to the variety in SotL’s season this year, which has included the classics “Romeo & Juliet” and “Richard II” and will conclude this March with “King Lear.” Ultimately, “The Wild Goose Chase” should be a fun ongrounds attraction for students looking for something exciting to do this Valentine’s Day weekend.

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

The Cavalier Daily

Courtesy Dual Tone Records

A Conversation with Drew Holcomb Candace Carter

Drew Holcomb:

With their soft voices and mellow sound, Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors will take the stage at the Jefferson Feb. 19 in support of their 2014 release, “Medicine,” an upliftingly fluid album with an occasional twinge of sadness and regret. Arts & Entertainment spoke with Holcomb about his roots, musical message and love of life.

I am certainly a product of my geography. Growing up in Memphis, the music and history in my hometown dominate a lot of our regional identity. The same is true in Nashville. However, just like most kids raised in the 90s, I was exposed to as much Radiohead as I was Elvis, and as much Nirvana as I was the blues. More than anything, I grew up going to see a lot of bands and artists live, and that become an enormous part of my desire to be a musician.

Senior Editor

Arts & Entertainment: Music seems to have been a large part of your life since birth — you were born in Memphis and currently reside in Nashville. How has Tennessee’s rich musical culture shaped the music you write and play?

A&E: Your style is a little eclectic; aside from solid indie and rock styles, you show strong mainstream country influences, ragtime rhythms and a folky spirit in your tunes. Can you talk a little about artists who’ve influenced you?

DH: We were a road-trip family, so we had lots of my parents’ music in my childhood. Dad loved Dylan and classic 70s rock, and my mom loved Motown. Then as a teenager I was into everything from Zeppelin to Pearl Jam to Van Morrison to Ben Folds. In college is when the singer-songwriters really crept up on me.

A&E: Your upcoming release, “Medicine,” is your fourth studio album as a band. After such a long career of music making, how do you feel this album is different from others?

How are you keeping your style exciting and interesting for listeners?

This release is calming and exciting at the same time, which speaks to your talent as a lyricist and your band’s solid cohesion.

DH: It’s our fourth studio album as a band, with a Christmas record and a live album in between.

This album is our most confident and most mature. I am in my 30s and know exactly what I like, and how to pursue that as a writer has become more interesting as the years go by. Recording-wise, we only tracked one song at a time, until that song was finished, and we made the whole record in 8 days. We love making music, and enjoy the creative process. Lots of bands seem to stress about that but thankfully that is not our story.

A&E: You seem to have a deep sense of the message and emotion each of your albums presents. What would you say is the message or feel of “Medicine”?

Jefferson hosts bluegrass band Ryan Waligora Associate Editor

When you collaborate with Steve Martin, you mean business.

Provided you’re a bluegrass artist or a man named Kato, a partnership like this can only be validating. North Carolina-based bluegrass band Steep Canyon Rangers teamed up with Martin in 2011, and earned a Grammy nomination for their trouble.

The group took home “Best Bluegrass Album” in 2012, and their latest offering, “Tell the Ones I Love,” is no slouch by comparison. Lead singer Woody Platt and his team took to the floorboards of the Jefferson Friday night to share the new record with Charlottesville.

Bluegrass is fast, and few can beat the Rangers’ pace. Starting off strong, the band played recognizable hits from their latest album.

“Lay Myself Down” and the titular “Tell the Ones I Love” hypnotized those present. “Come Dance” invited the audience to do just that, and the rapid banjo picking lain over infectious drumbeats left few

in the concert hall standing still.

As good as the record sounds, the Rangers are a different group when seen live. Their energy was on full display, and they appeared to be enjoying the show just as much as those watching.

Mike Guggino on the mandolin is a Wild West saloon’s equivalent of a guitar hero. Wholly focused on his instrument, Guggino plays like an expert.

Sweet mandolin notes danced with the steady banjo twangs.

With the other bandmates’ eyes upon him, Guggino took the spotlight to deliver what could only be labeled an awe-inspiring mandolin solo, with virtuosic speed that mesmerized.

Not to be outdone, fiddler Nicky Sanders lay waste to every audience member’s previous notions of competent fiddle-playing. The audience enthusiastically heard multiple solos, in between overlays of low, rhythmic swoops and picking that lent a spark to the band’s core sound.

While the rest of the band was dressed more or less as one would expect a bluegrass band to present themselves, Sanders appeared in

jeans and a black sweater. Looking more like a jazz artist than a country fiddler, he still managed to dance his way back and forth across the stage more than the rest of the group combined.

By the end of Sanders’ final solo, as the supersonic whine of his fiddle cut off and he lifted his bow, cheers resounded from the crowd.

In spite of his virtuosity, Sanders kept the instrument in hand rather than repeatedly smashing it over an amplifier.

The Rangers play bluegrass that is stuffed with classic themes, evidenced by the appearance of trains, graveyards, and other tropes in the lyrics imparted Friday. Despite their adherence to fundamentals of the craft, the group still produces a sound that is entirely recognizable as their own.

“Tell the Ones I Love” is made up of completely original tracks, and the speed and skill of the performers combine with those new lyrics to make something that has SCR stamped all over it.

As simple as the title is, “Come Dance” shines more for its lyrics than anything else. It perfectly summarizes the experience the

Indie-folk band to play Jefferson Theater DH: That we need each other, that life is hard but ultimately full of good things, and music is one of those good things.

A&E: Have you been to Charlottesville before? Any memories or favorite places you’d like share with us?

DH: This is our third time, and only second time headlining. I think Charlottesville is one of the great historic college towns, and its seems like y’all really love live music. I see it as a place we will keep coming back to.

Holcomb will play at The Jefferson Theater on Feb. 19 at 8 p.m.

Grammy-winning Steep Canyon Rangers amazes audience

Courtesy Wikimedia Commons

band shared with the audience on Friday, telling them “the prettiest lies ever told.”

Instructing the audience to “picture a clear blue sky without

end,” the Rangers made those pretty lies come true. The fixtures and shadows above the smoky Jefferson stage gave way, and everyone there could see it.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

H&S

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The Peer Health Educators sponsor the Fourth-Year 5K as a healthy alternative to the fourth-year fifth and to benefit the Leslie Balz Foundation, set-up in memory of a student who died of alcohol poisoning.

health & science

Courtesy Claire Banowsky

When it comes to sex: teach, don’t preach Peer Health Educator Claire Banowsky aims to give students the tools to practice safety, whatever they practice Meg Thornberry Heath & Science Editor

Third-year College student Claire Banowsky loves talking about sex — which is a good thing, seeing as she is one of approximately 45 peer health educators that work for the Student Health Center to educate fellow students on topics including mental wellness, sleep, drugs and alcohol — and, of course, safe sex.

“I love the idea of teaching peers, because I think it gets a lot more information across, and I think there’s a lot of weight carried when people

your own age are telling you healthy behavior,” Banowsky said.

She also emphasises that the purpose of Peer Health Educators is not to try to tell students what to do, just to teach them how to do whatever they do safely. The safe-sex outreach program, Sexfest, covers the proper way to use contraceptives and barriers for a variety of sexual acts, as well as making sure that consent and trust are present throughout.

“My friends have joked I’m the sex-pert,” Banowsky said. “They just ask me questions. If they didn’t use a condom or something when having sex, then [they ask] what the

options are. Or, if they miss a birth control pill [they ask] what the recommended time is [and] how you’re supposed to proceed from there.”

Banowsky is currently working to address more LGBTQ issues in the outreach programs, especially for asexual and aromantic individuals, for whom she admits there is simply not a lot of material currently available.

“I think it’s important to talk about intimacy on a non-physical level,” she said. “I just don’t know where that conversation starts, unless just saying it’s okay to be intimate without sex. I think, oddly,

that crosses over into the mental wellness one, because I think that a lot of self-doubt can come from thinking something’s wrong with you.”

However, Banowsky, and the Peer Health Educators in general, emphasize that non-physical intimacy and a focus on the mental side of relationships can benefit everyone.

“It’s entirely up to you if and when to have sex,” Banowsky said.

“The whole standard of ‘the third date is when it’s okay’ is arbitrary.

There’s a mental aspect of it. Sex is about trust and establishing a physical intimate connection, and so

SEX BY THE NUMBERS The average of each age group for men who report having masturbated in the past year across all age groups is 72%.

The average of each age group of women who report having masturbated in the past year across all age groups is 54.3%.

85% of men report a partner having an orgasm in their most recent sexual encounter

A 1999 study found that college students ...only 64% of women report having who had sex an orgasm 1-2 times per week had 30% higher levels of an important “I think women are antibody, IgA, wanting their partner than abstinent to believe theyʼre students, but students who had receiving pleasure, sex more frequently and the way they had levels about do that is by equal to the abstinent faking it.” students.

- Julia, first-year College student

Anne Owne and Morgan Hale| The Cavalier Daily

when you feel that trust with anyone that’s okay.”

The biggest misconceptions Banowsky would like to clear up? “‘Double bagging only works at the grocery store,’ is what we like to tell people,” she said. “Putting two on actually increases friction and causes more ruptures. Don’t buy an extra-large condom just because you think you need an extra-large condom. Condoms expire. I think the biggest thing is people have condoms, but misuse [them]. We’re all college students at a great university, we all know safe sex involves condom usage, but proper usage — you don’t even think about that.”

Thursday, February 12, 2015

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