The Gathering CBFNC Newsletter - January–February 2019

gathering the

of the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship of North Carolina

January/February 2019

Vol. 24 Issue 1

te Journ ra

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Called Together

Celeb

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Celebrate • Journey • Serve Read about our upcoming Annual Gathering on pages 8 & 9

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Annual Gathering

a n n ive r s a

Serve Celebrate

Journey

From Targets to Friends

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he 2009 movie, The Soloist, is based on the true story of Los Angeles Times columnist Steve Lopez who is having trouble coming up with story ideas. Then he meets Nathaniel Ayers, a mentally ill, homeless street musician with prodigious talent. He produces amazing music in spite of his sub-standard instruments and personal challenges. Steve develops a relationship with Nathaniel and writes a series of articles in which he draws attention to the plight of the underclass in Los Angeles. As he strives to transform the lives of Nathaniel and his fellow street-dwellers, he finds that his friendship with Nathaniel ends up transforming himself.

I don’t know what motivated Lopez, but most Christians are motivated by faith. They desire to minister to those around them and to transform their lives for the better. Most churches sponsor mission programs and local ministries targeting needy groups with a variety of physical, emotional, social, and spiritual needs. Churches seek to involve their members in ministries to “the least of these” – defined in various ways.

In 2015, while a serving as a divinity student intern for CBFNC, Seth Hix conducted a research project in which he called almost one hundred church leaders (lay and clergy) to interview them on the state of their churches and their partnership with CBFNC. He learned that most of the churches in the sample are involved in robust missions ministries, locally and globally. As Seth quipped, “If you want a wheelchair ramp built anywhere in North Carolina, I can hook you up with a church that can build it!”

A recurring theme Seth heard in these interviews was that even though these church leaders were pleased with their efforts, they felt that something was missing. They were doing many good things “to” and “for” their neighbors, but they weren’t taking the next step of sharing life “with” their neighbors. Many of these church leaders said they needed to learn how to establish relationships with those to whom they ministered in ways that would welcome them into their churches and their lives.

In short, they desired to establish holy friendships.

CBFNC Church and Clergy Coach, Eddie Hammett, describes this shift as “from missional to incarnational.” In the early 2000s, our fellowship discovered the concept of “missional church.” That is, rather than simply trying to attract people to

LOOKING FOR A RETREAT SITE? CBFNC has an amazing retreat locator for North Carolina, and it's on our website! Whether you are looking for a retreat site for staff, deacons, youth, or other groups, check out our webpage.

Just updated this fall, it has information you need! www.cbfnc.org/resources/nc-retreat-centers 2 • The Gathering

January/February 2019

by Larry Hovis CBFNC Executive Coordinator

church buildings and programs, we sought to deploy church members to minister in their communities and the world. Rather than seeing the church as the center of God’s mission, we began to see the church as a vehicle for engaging in God’s mission. That was an important discovery.

Hammett says that now a new shift is needed. Rather than “parachuting” into a community to do good deeds, we must “pitch our tents” in the community and live out our message and ministry in relationship with others.

I heard of two examples, at the individual and congregational level, of folks in our fellowship who have sought to make this shift.

First, Daniel Vestal, former Executive Coordinator of CBF Global, struck up a friendship with a homeless person in Atlanta, where he lives. This was not a transactional relationship in which Daniel did things for the homeless person on a one-shot basis.

This was a true friendship in which they visited as often as Daniel’s busy schedule allowed, sharing conversation, getting to know one another, and supporting one another. Daniel said it was as enriching to him (perhaps more so) than to his friend.

Second, Ellen Price, former minister of hospitality at Ardmore Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, led that church to engage in efforts to reach their neighbors – the neighbors who lived near members. She encouraged church members to invite neighbors to a meal in their homes on a particular night, not for any purpose other than to offer hospitality and get to know them better. When some church members objected to that approach, countering that they could invite people to their homes anytime, she replied, “You could, but you won’t. If we all do this together, on the same night, we are more likely to actually take the time to get to know our neighbors.”

John 1:14 says, “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us…” I like the way Eugene Peterson renders this sentence in The Message: “The Word became flesh and blood, and moved into the neighborhood…”

If that was God’s approach, how can we do any less? And if we do so, like Steve Lopez, we might find that the life that gets transformed is our own.

Repentance? What a Drag!

by Doug Hammack, Pastor, North Raleigh Community Church

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t’s a disorienting moment in history. Change comes faster than we can adapt. Beliefs are unraveling. Society is unraveling. It’s a frightening time.

When we feel frightened, we tend to behave badly. A common strategy when afraid is to circle the wagons. We figure out some adversary to be them, so we can be us. It’s a well-worn strategy during shaky times.

That’s what our culture is doing.

So, with fear and division in the air we breathe, how do we lead our congregations? Here’s a bit of what we’re doing.

Our community is focused on people who have given up on church. Consequently, we avoid religious language. So, even though we organize our spiritual formation around three ancient Christian words, we don’t say them out loud. They are good words. They’re just difficult for our people. I hesitate to name them. You might have the same reaction we do. But, here goes.

Repentance, reconciliation, and redemption.

Reconciliation and redemption aren’t as bad as repentance. We’re pretty comfortable with peacemaking and healing the world. But, repentance. That’s troubling. It, and its cousin, “confession,” are often associated with guilt, shame, unequal power dynamics, and a whiff of groveling. So, for our folks, we don’t connect repentance and forgiveness. We talk about repentance as a tool for renewing our minds. We talk about repentance not as getting a reluctant God to forgive us, but as a practice of rewiring our deep inner habits.

The tools of repentance help us see . . . our thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions. We normally don’t. We normally think of them as “the way I am.” But, once we see them as habits, habits can be broken. Awareness of our inner landscape enables us to see the unconscious drivers of thoughts and behaviors. When we become aware of our inner habits, we can disempower them. Selfawareness allows us to break out of old patterns and to renew our minds.

So, we ransacked our Christian tradition, looking for effective repentance practices. We practice centering prayer, a form of mindfulness meditation. It helps us detach from the compulsive nature of false self (read: “sin nature”). We study the enneagram. It helps us see the pitfalls into which we are most likely to fall. We practice a form of confession together. Of course, we don’t call it that.

We call it our “self-awareness, self-disclosure worksheet.” It’s a series of questions designed to help us unearth our inner stories and the core beliefs that drive our behaviors.

The practices of repentance invite us to be real together . . . which can be scary! So first, we had to create a safe culture. That’s pretty counter-intuitive for individualistic Americans. But, we stumbled on to a helpful tool, Life-Story groups. Three or four people meet three or four times. Each time, one person tells the story of his or her life. The groups are highly confidential and permission is granted to sanitize their stories as much as they want.

But most people get pretty real. These groups sow seeds of trust and affection in the whole community. Over time, they engender an environment safe enough for the repentance practices.

Changing culture is hard! Americans don’t do transparent. If we do, it’s in a therapist’s office, not at church. It takes a big part of our annual budget and calendar to reinforce the practices of repentance. But, they have been powerfully transformative!

We have found that practices of repentance make it possible for us to bring our best selves to both reconciliation and redemption.

Our efforts at making peace and healing the world get hindered by the false self. We’re pretty ineffective working on racial, political, gender, and other divisions until we’ve been transformed by the practices of repentance.

If you would like to look at some of our tools, visit our website: NorthRaleighCommunityChurch.org.

Webinars–a New Resource!

CBFNC is always looking for ways to provide resources for our churches and church leaders! Last year, we added bi-weekly webinars. You may watch it live (which is the best way if you want to ask questions of the presenter) or you may view the webinar at your leisure by going to the CBFNC Resource Library.

Hosted by Rick Jordan, the webinars are 45-60 minutes long and frequently have handouts, PowerPoint presentations, and even free book chapters that may be downloaded. Watch the weekly enewsletter for announcements of upcoming webinars with registration information.

Here is a sample of recent webinars: Sanctuary: Balancing Church Security and Hospitality (Paul Raybon) Sexual Harassment #metoo #baptiststoo (Pam Durso) Ministerial Compensation (Jim Morrison) How Casual Conversations Move Into Christ-Focused Conversions (Eddie Hammett) Baptist Trends (Bill Leonard) Healthy Small Groups Matter (Bill Wilson) Sustainable Community Development and Partnerships in Rural Communities (Kenny and Karen Sherrin) God, Evolution, and The Big Bang.

Why I Believe in All Three (Rick Matthews) Making Church a Safe Place to Talk About Dangerous Things (Beth Kennett and Chris Gamble)

From Awareness to Engagement: How Your Church Can Fight Human Trafficking (Pam Strickland et al) Conflict and Communication: Opportunities for Growth (Andy Wakefield) A Muslim-American’s Reflections of a Post-9/11 America (Naijla Faizi) A Riff of Love: Notes on Community and Belonging (Greg Jarrell) Practicing Midrash: Reading the Bible’s Arguments as an Invitation to Conversation (Tim Moore) Pivot: A New Model for Missions (Matt and Michelle Norman) Ministry With Young Adults (Wanda Kidd) January/February 2019

The Gathering • 3

Just Friends

by Greg Jarrell

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o work in God’s mission in the world is to dance with partners called Justice and Friendship. In my years as a neighbor in one of Charlotte’s toughest neighborhoods, I have come to see that both of those partners are needed in building the realm of God in the world. Having robust friendships will not guarantee justice. Without friendships, justice will be impossible. The small move of learning to know a neighbor as a friend, to see them as something besides an Other whose body is to be controlled and ghettoized and warehoused in undesirable places is an important start. But that small move is hardly a robust conception of justice. Justice is necessarily social—there is no other kind. It must extend beyond private relationships. More than friendship is needed, but friendship will push people to work together for justice.

Among the things friends do when they gather in groups of two or three or more is to sing. Joining voices in song is a physical means of joining bodies together to work in harmony and solidarity with one another. A song in duet, or trio, or in a chorus, is a rehearsal of a social order built on solidarity and belonging. Everyone gets a part. Every part matters. Singing together prefigures the coming world, the world of equity and rightness, of creative dissonances and moments of resolution.

This is why worship services often end with song before the congregation goes out to serve the world or why protest movements include singing and chanting in the streets.

Children learn to sing by matching their voices with their parents. Jesus learned to sing from Mary and Joseph, probably many kinds of songs. Silly ones. Lullabies. Songs for learning letters and numbers. One of those songs is still around. Mary started singing it from the first moments when she learned that the justice of God was living in her womb. The vibrations of her song were already working through him then. She must have kept singing that song to him as she told him the story of their people, and how their people’s God has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts.

He has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly; he has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away empty.

He has helped his servant Israel, In remembrance of his mercy, According to the promise he made to our ancestors, To Abraham and to his descendants forever.[1]

This is the justice that friends will work together for, and pray together for, and stand together for. It brings down the powerful and lifts up the lowly, creating from a song the kinds of spaces where all of God’s children can thrive.

[1] Luke 1:51b-53

Greg is Co-founder and Director of QC Family Tree, Charlotte, NC. This article is adapted from his new book, A Riff of Love: Notes on Community and Belonging, published by Cascade Books.

4 • The Gathering

January/February 2019

Dinner Church Experience

by Seth Hix, Church Engagement Coordinator

A church fellowship hall filled with round tables.

A cooler of lemonade and a few pitchers of water.

A plate of spaghetti, salad, fruit, and a cookie.

A brief proclamation of the gospel through word and song.

A time of fellowship.

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ll of the elements listed above are familiar to most CBFNC congregations. In fact, my best guess is that most people reading this article have personally experienced all of them many times in their own church family. So, what could make these elements seem extraordinary? The simple answer: Dinner Church.

I attended a Dinner Church on an ordinary September Tuesday night in a small North Carolina town. A modest sign sat outside the church’s back door pointing people inside for a free meal. The people who wandered inside were not members of this congregation. Some of the people were in search of a fresh meal. Some were seeking fellowship and companionship. Some were attracted to the message of the gospel.

Surprisingly, the people preparing and serving the meal were not members of the host congregation. They came from several local congregations and a religious non-profit group seeking to meet the needs of the community.

Dinner Church is experienced in a variety of ways across the country. It is an initiative of a broader missional movement known as Fresh Expressions, “an international movement cultivating new kinds of church alongside existing congregations to more effectively engage our post-Christian society.” Fresh Expressions originated as an initiative of the Church of England to birth new communities of faith to co-exist alongside established congregations. Our Baptist friends at the Baptist General Association of Virginia were instrumental in bringing Fresh Expressions to the United States in 2010. The Fresh Expressions movement reaches far beyond Dinner Church. It intends to “connect with those uncomfortable or unfamiliar with the inherited church.”

The North Carolina leadership of Fresh Expressions has set a goal to establish at least one Dinner Church in each county across the state. This cross-denominational endeavor is supported by church leaders in a variety of Christian traditions. The expansion of the Dinner Church movement is not about boosting numbers in existing churches. Each See “Dinner Church Experience” on page 5.

Dinner Church Experience, cont’d. organically-formed community aims to expand God’s Kingdom in local communities beyond the reach of established local congregations. The objective is to extend a welcome to people who would not normally attend a Sunday morning worship service. There is no sophisticated programing or intricate strategy for Christian formation beyond the of sharing of a meal, hearing the gospel, forming community around a table, and an openness to sharing life with others.

Jesus regularly ate with his beloved disciples as well as with people from all segments of society. As Baptists, we value fellowship around the table. And as Cooperative Baptists, we remain open to new means of conveying God’s love to folks in our community. Perhaps God is calling you, or your church, to consider the impact that a simple meal can have on God’s Kingdom.

Holy Friendships

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As I chatted with the half-dozen people gathered around my table, it became apparent that this was more than a benevolent meal offered to those in need. The two ladies who shared their personal stories with me expressed a genuine care for the people in the room, most of whom self-identified as regulars. In fact, many of the folks in this low-key dinner experience were there because they considered this a sacred time. The food filled their stomachs, but the friendship lifted their spirits and the gospel nourished their souls. The woman who sat across from me accurately captured the essence of the evening’s experience as she affectionately claimed, “This is my church!”

Find out more about this innovative movement at: freshexpressionsus.org.

by Marc Wyatt, CBF Field Personnel, Raleigh

first met my Afghan friend when he came to be a guest of Welcome House Raleigh. After flying for many hours he was in a whole new world and jetlagged. Through squinting, sleepy eyes he tried his best to absorb all that was happening as he listened to the guest orientation we provide all new refugee and immigrant arrivals. It was clear, though; what Mujib most needed was sleep.

Welcome House is a temporary home for up to 10 guests awaiting long-term housing. While with us, guests live in community together with our house hosts, Joy and Shaun Price. It doesn’t take long for folks to get it. They share almost everything together. From yummy exotic recipes to full-on belly laughs and stories about things and people that matter most back home, holy friendship is shared.

Our community includes folks from just about anywhere. We have hosted new friends from small villages in Congo and Angola, families of 10 from Afghanistan, Iraq, and Iran, grandmothers, grandfathers, stateless Rohingya men from Myanmar, single moms with small toddlers wrapped tightly around their backs from Eritrea, and even newlyweds from Djibouti. Our family shares one thing in common—a hope to find home again. Mujib quickly joined right in.

One day, I told him I’d be sharing a bit about Welcome House with a church. Churches help provide this house, I explained.

“Ever been to church?” I asked.

“I knew some of the US Army guys were Christians. But I’ve never been to an American Church. Can I go with you?” he asked.

I told him “Yes. You can come with me but you are going to hear some things said and see some things done you’ve never seen before. I won’t be able to explain stuff or debate ideas with you while I’m at the church. But afterward, on the way home, I’ll be happy to talk about anything and everything. Ok?” “Deal,” he said.

While sharing with the church, I asked them how many veterans were in the room. Many hands went up. I said, “My friend, Mujib, served alongside the US military as an advisor and

tyranslator. He and his family risked their lives on the front lines with our guys because they want a better life for their country.”

The whole place lit up in standing applause. That experience really spoke to Mujib’s heart.

After the joint Sunday School gathering, we sat together in worship. It was a regular Sunday morning service. But for Mujib, it was the first time he stood with Christians while we sang. It was the first time he heard our prayers. And, it was the first time he heard the Scriptures read and proclaimed.

After the benediction, while waiting to shake Pastor Hadley’s hand, a lady walked up to us, hugged Mujib, and handed him a torn off corner of her bulletin with her phone number on it.

She said, “You call me and I’ll bring you to church next Sunday, you hear?”

Mujib is from the Middle East. Women don’t act that forward there. I assured him she wasn’t coming on to him. I explained, “She’ll send her husband to pick you up at Welcome House if you want to go to church next Sunday. They want to be friends with you.” He exhaled with a relieved smile.

On the drive back to Welcome House, Mujib peppered me with questions. Those questions continued all that week and have to this day.

The next Sunday, sure enough, the lady’s husband picked up Mujib and took him to church. He’s been going to Tabernacle Baptist Church in Raleigh ever since.

There have been questions, meals, stories, and belly laughs with his new friends since that day.

On Sunday, November 18th, Mujib followed the Lord in Christian Baptism. He professed Jesus as his Lord and Savior.

He desired to become a member of the church that honored his service and included him into the family. Thanks be to God for friendship that is holy and welcoming to foreigners.

If you would like to encourage our new brother in the faith please send your card to Mujib c/o Marc Wyatt, 4503 All Points View Way, Raleigh, NC 27614.

January/February 2019

The Gathering • 5

Victims and Volunteers

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n Eastern North Carolina, Hurricane Florence left behind a flood of unwelcomed memories and began a new chapter of mission and ministry for the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship. Since the epic storm, I have been serving in the town of Trenton, North Carolina as the Local Coordinator of Disaster Response for Volunteers and Activities.

Trenton is a one-stoplight town with just over 300 residents. There’s a grocery story, a pharmacy, a gas station, a bank, and a couple of places to eat out. The town has a volunteer fire department and during special holidays, the American Legion Hall is decorated to host community events. Ask anyone who calls this home, Trenton has it all, or at least it did until Hurricane Florence flooded most of its homes and businesses. This is a story of relationships between victims and volunteers and our ministry efforts to connect with a small town in Eastern North Carolina.

After the disaster, CBF and CBFNC put its arms around Trenton and Whiteville, which seemed to be off the major grids for assistance. CBF came into Trenton

to ask about their needs after the storm. Shortly afterwards, teams began arriving from partner churches with one purpose in mind, to be the hands and feet of Christ after disaster. Physically, they are helping residents tear out drywall, floors, insulation and other materials affected by the flood and growing mold inside homes.

Spiritually, they are providing the light of Christ to a town in need.

Encounters in Trenton are the beginning of holy relationships between victims and volunteers.

Church groups from Georgia, Kentucky, and North Carolina brought many of the necessary tools to tear out flooded homes, provide smiles to exhausted souls, and speak and pray words of God’s healing to listening ears. During this time of ministry, these volunteers have felt the pain of the community, experienced tears, and listened to stories of disappointment and stalled dreams. In moments of full transparency, victims expressed how they were forced to let go of life as it had been.

The Sawyers were rescued by helicopter and their home was 6 • The Gathering

January/February 2019

by Rev. Daynette Sneed CBF Local Coordinator of Disaster Response for Volunteers and Activities

flooded with three feet of water. CBF volunteers helped with the tear-out including removing their beautiful, river soaked, sixty-three-year old hardwood floors secured with handmade nails. Volunteers served the congregation of St. Stephen’s Church in Trenton with the tear-out of their entire facility.

The sanctuary and family life center filled with four feet of water, losing everything including the pews, kitchen, church and office furniture. Others served Mrs. Mattie Wilder. Her home flooded in the Haiti area of Trenton. She shared the story of her husband who died while he was rescuing someone during Hurricane Floyd in 1999. In each family, most to all possessions were soaked by flooding waters.

Jerry, a homeless veteran, arrived with a special group of fellow veterans to labor for three days of volunteer work.

His poem about his experience in Trenton is a witness for us all. There is no gap between victims and volunteers because Christ stands in the gap to connect us all in holy relationships.

No matter what color or beliefs, I realize we all have a heart.

It amazes me when all is lost, how people come together.

The ones that have a life, and ones that have no life at all.

We do this with our heart because we feel the pain of each other.

If we’re close or far apart, thank you for all that you do.

We just want you to know that we love you too.

There’s a lot of love that is shared, you don’t have to thank us, Just remember that we care.

–Jerry, volunteer FBC Asheville, NC

Rev. Daynette Snead is the CBF Local Coordinator of Disaster Response for Volunteers and Activities in Trenton, North Carolina, Associate Pastor of First Chin Baptist Church, New Bern.

Responding to Florence

by Larry Hovis, CBFNC Executive Coordinator

With strong support from CBF Global, CBFNC continues to engage in disaster response in the areas affected by Hurricane Florence. Like Hurricane Matthew, which struck in October 2016, recovery from Florence will be a long-term effort. There are several ways you can help: PRAY

Thirty-four counties received damage in some form, with many of those counties suffering devastating consequences. Not only were churches, homes, and businesses damaged, but agricultural losses are projected to exceed $1 billion. Please continue to “pray without ceasing” for those affected by Florence.

VOLUNTEER

Volunteers are desperately needed for recovery work. While teams that can commit several days or weeks are needed, even those who can contribute one day of labor are extremely helpful. Many North Carolinians are close enough to drive down on a Saturday and give a day. No contribution of time and labor is too small.

CBFNC is promoting two channels for volunteering:

CBF-Coordinated Efforts

From top left opposite page (Counterclockwise):

Volunteer group from FBC Asheville including men We have identified two from their Veterans’ Ministry; Trenton resident Wendy neglected areas to focus our Willie & Zebulon Baptist Church volunteers June recovery efforts and have Lanier & Kaylay Howell; Steeple of Winter Park, hired part-time contract Wilmington (center); CBFNC convened an ecumenical coordinators to organize that gathering of church leaders in Columbus County to work. discuss disaster response in the area (below); Daynette Daynette Snead is Snead, disaster response coordinator in Trenton (left); directing our work in Damage at First, Morehead City, in the aftermath of Trenton, the seat of Jones Florence (above).

County, adjacent to Craven County. Volunteers can be housed and fed at First, New Bern. For information about the needs and opportunities there, contact Daynette (Daynette @diaspra.com).

Todd Padgett is directing our work in Columbus County. Whiteville is the county seat. Volunteers can be housed and fed at First, Whiteville. For information about the needs and opportunities there, contact Todd (toddpadgett35@gmail.com).

Volunteers for both sites must sign up through CBF Global (https://cbf.net/dr-eastern-carolinas).

NC Baptists on Mission

NC Baptists on Mission (formerly NC Baptist Men) are coordinating operations in 14 recovery sites. For more information, visit this page: https://baptistsonmission. org/Mission-Projects/By-Mission-Type/Disaster-Relief/ Hurricane-Florence.

Ministry Grants

Thanks to the generosity of Cooperative Baptist friends in NC and beyond, CBFNC has established a fund to support ministry efforts in the affected regions. Grants have already been given to help with recovery efforts in Wilmington, Trenton, and Whiteville.

Visit here to donate: http://co.clickandpledge.com/sp/d1/default.aspx?wid=122157 Visit here to apply for a grant:

www.cbfnc.org/missions/hurricane-florence-grant-request January/February 2019

The Gathering • 7

"To the church of God . . . called to be saints, together with all those who in every place call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

te Journ ra

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Called Together

–1 Corinthians 1:2

FRIDAY, MARCH 29

Celeb

Annual Gathering

2019

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CBFNC

a n n ive r s a

First Baptist Church Greensboro Thursday, March 28 Friday, March 29

THURSDAY, MARCH 28 LEADERSHIP INSTITUTE LED BY TOD BOLSINGER

1:00 to 5:00 p.m.

CELEBRATE

25TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION FEATURING CLYDE EDGERTON AT REVOLUTION MILL

6:30 to 9:00 p.m.

JOIN US!

For registration & details,visit www.cbfncag.com 8 • The Gathering

January/February 2019

REGISTRATION LIVING WATER CAFE EXHIBIT HALL OPEN PEER LEARNING GROUP BREAKFAST

8:00 a.m.

WORKSHOPS SESSION #1

9:00 to 10:30 a.m.

JOURNEY

OPENING WORSHIP WITH TOD BOLSINGER

10:45 a.m. to 12:00 p.m.

LUNCH

12:00 to 1:30 p.m.

WORKSHOPS SESSION #2

1:30 to 2:30 p.m.

WORKSHOPS SESSION #3

2:45 to 3:45 p.m.

SERVE

CLOSING MINISTRY CELEBRATION

4:00 to 5:30 p.m.

Serve Celebrate

Journey Thursday, March 28, 2019 LEADERSHIP INSTITUTE ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION 1:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m. | $25 FBC Greensboro | Chapel

Canoeing the Mountains with Tod Bolsinger TOD BOLSINGER, author of Canoeing the Mountains: Church Leadership in Uncharted Territory, will lead the 2019 Leadership Institute. Tod serves as vice president and chief of leadership formation at Fuller Seminary. Tod brings decades of expertise in guiding churches through uncharted territory and will help us to re-imagine what effective leadership looks like in dynamic cultural contexts.

Join us for a time of learning how to scale the mountains of ministry with new navigational tools!

6:30 p.m. – 9:00 p.m. | $25 Revolution Mill | Greensboro

JOIN US AT REVOLUTION MILL for an evening of celebration and entertainment. We will eat, fellowship, reflect, and celebrate our 25 years as a fellowship.

The evening will include storytelling, song, and selections from North Carolina author, Clyde Edgerton. Clyde is the author of novels, short stories, memoirs, and essays – some of which have been New York Times Notable Books. Your ticket includes heavy hors d'oeuvres and entertainment!

January/February 2019

The Gathering • 9

Young Adults Do Not Have to be a Lost Cause in Our Churches

by Wanda Kidd, Collegiate Engagement Coordinator

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concern for churches and parents is that their grown children are not continuing the church attendance that was a significant part of their childhood. It has long been accepted that many young people will take a hiatus from church during their late adolescence and young adulthood. There was also the assumption that when they were in their mid-twenties they would marry, have children, and return to church. My mom told of being a newlywed and living away from their hometown. They found themselves out of the habit of going to church unless they were visiting home. She said that after about six months of that trend, my grandfather came to visit and took my dad outside and told him it was time for him to get his family back in church. The next Sunday, they were in church.

We no longer live in a culture where many parents have that type of sway over their children and there are many reasons for that.

Mostly, we raised our children to have a voice in what they wanted to participate in and where they wanted to invest their time and talents. There are many good aspects to giving our children that type of input and power, but the results of that parenting model is that they continue those trajectories as they mature. That means they do not suddenly step back into line and follow the same path that we did as young adults. As frustrating as that can be, it seems to me that we should not be surprised, but we can be creative.

THERE A FEW THINGS

THAT WE MUST UNDERSTAND ABOUT HOW

YOUNG ADULTS PROCESS INFORMATION:

They hate conflict.

They need to know that they are valued.

They want to be able to look at things virtually before they will walk into a church building.

They need to know that someone there is anticipating their presence.

They want to know that not only are they welcomed there, but their friends would be welcomed as well.

Obligation is NOT a motivator.

HERE ARE SOME IDEAS ABOUT HOW TO KEEP YOUR YOUNG ADULT CHILDREN IN CHURCH: • Be excited about church yourself. If all they hear • Talk to them about faith issues when they are about church are complaints and frustrations, young and, as they age, talk to them about there is little reason for them to be drawn into deeper issues. Share with them your viewpoint a place of disharmony, just because it is where and why you believe that. they grew up.

• Find out where all of the college age students • Read some of the young Christian writers that from your church are attending school. When young adults are talking about. Ask them who church members go to those cities, have them they are reading and what they are thinking and invite a couple of the students to a meal. Talk then follow-up. to the parents about your plans so that they can make the connection and then follow-up • In church, ask other parents about their children personally. and then tell your children that Mrs. or Mr. Blank asked about them. If we continue to connect them to the people within the church, they will be more prone to want to return.

10 • The Gathering

January/February 2019

CBFNC HONORARY AND MEMORIAL GIFTS A gift was given to the CBFNC operating budget

by David Whiteman in honor of Judy Lecro

CHECK OUT OUR BLOG! cbfnc.wordpress.com

To contribute, e-mail acook@cbfnc.org.

Donate to CBFNC today! www.cbfnc.org/give

MINISTERS ON THE MOVE

Our encouragement and support go to the following ministers who have recently moved: Joanna Capps to Benson, Benson as Minister of Children and Youth Angel Lee to Hillsong, Chapel Hill as Youth Pastor David Oakley to Wingate, Wingate as Pastor Chrissy Williamson to Greystone, Raleigh as Pastor When you make a move or know of someone who has changed places of ministry, please let us know (cbfnc@cbfnc.org).

For assistance to search committees and ministers seeking vocational discernment, visit the Career and Calling page on our website at www.cbfnc.org or call (336) 759-3456 or (888) 822-1944.

COORDINATORS’ VISITS October 2018 - November 2018

BWIM NC, College Park, Greensboro Campbell University Divinity School Chadbourn, Chadbourn Conetoe Family Life Center Duke University Divinity School Emerald Isle, Emerald Isle First, Elon First, Goldsboro First, Lumberton First, Mt. Olive First, Mooresville First, Morehead City First, New Bern First, Spring Hope First, Whiteville First, Wilmington First Reformed UCC, Lexington Gardner-Webb University Divinity School Louisburg, Louisburg Oakmont, Greenville Providence, Charlotte Red Latina, Centro Familiar Cristiano, Siler City Snyder Memorial, Fayetteville The Memorial, Greenville Wake Forest University Divinity School CBFNC ministry coordinators are available to visit your Western Fellowship, Hominy, Candler church to speak, preach, teach, consult, lead, and minister.

Contact CBFNC office for more information.

White Oak,theArcher Lodge January/February 2019

The Gathering • 11

NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION U.S. POSTAGE PAID WINSTON-SALEM PERMIT NO. 162

Cooperative Baptist Fellowship of North Carolina Bringing Baptists of North Carolina Together for Christ-Centered Ministry 2640 Reynolda Road Winston-Salem, NC 27106

888-822-1944 www.cbfnc.org

Return Service Requested

JANUARY 2019

Where is Church Going From Here?

January 12 Oakmont, Greenville, NC

CBFNC Webinar: Ministering to the Military and Veteran Population January 15 11:00 a.m. to noon

Youth Ski Retreat

FEBRUARY

MARCH

February 4-7 Wake Forest, Wake Forest

March 8-10 Providence, Charlotte

S.T.E.P. into Transition Ministry

CBFNC Webinar: Clergy Spouse Health

CBFNC Webinar: Ministers Managing Money

February 14 11:00 a.m. to noon

Mid-Winter Young Adult Retreat Feburary 15-17 Camp Thunderbird Lake Wylie, South Carolina

March 28-29 First, Greensboro

Children’s Choir Festival

NC Growing Young Cohort

CBFNC Webinar: Ministers: Ready for Tax Season?

Summit 1: January 31-February 1 Summit 2: September 5-6 Trinity, Raleigh

February 26 11:00 a.m. to noon

March 12 11:00 a.m. to noon

2019 Annual Gathering

January 25-27 Winterplace, WV

February 23 Myers Park UMC, Charlotte

Youth Choir Festival

Upcoming

Events