February 2016 by Christ Community Church

FEBRUARY 2016

a spiritual parenting resource

homefrontmag.com

GETTING STARTED

10 CREATE A SWEET MESSAGE OF LOVE.

24 3 WAYS YOUR KIDS

44 HOW CAN YOU “WRAP AROUND” ADOPTIVE PARENTS?

CAN ADOPT YOUR NEIGHBORS.

The photos on the front cover are photos sent in by all the adoptive families in the articles in this issue. 2

OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE | homefrontmag.com

EDITOR'S NOTE Living in the environment of OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE is less about being uncomfortable and more about trusting God. In Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God, Frances Chan put it this way, “God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through.” This month’s issue of HomeFront is filled with stories of people who trusted God and obeyed His calling on their lives. The next few pages are filled with testimonies of families who stepped out in faith and depended on God to meet them as they chose to leave their comfort zones and adopt! Some of the stories are about adopting children—both at home and internationally. One family shares about how they reached out to college students and brought them into their home, while another inspires us with ways we can adopt our neighbors. Adoption hits close to home for me. I live with my son and co-parent his two children—I have adopted the role of mom. While most women my age are preparing for the golden years, I am preparing lunches for a preschooler and first grader. My brother also adopted two daughters and our family has been forever changed by the love their family shares with each other. In fact, my niece wrote this month’s BLESSING (page 29). One of my favorite articles this month is Adoption Wrap Around (pages 44–45). Mike Ruman, CEO of Parenting Academy, shares his family’s story of adoption. He then reminds us of practical ways we can come alongside these brave families and support them as they step out in faith and obey God’s call to look after the orphans of this world. Each one of us can play a role! Our prayer is that this unique issue of HomeFront will encourage your family to trust God and step out in faith knowing He will meet you and transform you in the process. We hope this issue will spark some great family conversations and awaken you to all that God is calling us to as Christ followers.

CONTENTS FAMILY TIME Family Verse

Capturing the Season

Storytelling

Create

Game Time

Traditions

Family Time Recipe

Kids in the Kitchen

Conversation Starters

God's Word

Prayer

Worship

Tot Time Rhyme

Blessing

Taking Action

Global

God's Heart

Loving Out of Your Comfort Zone Sweet Love

Silly Libs

Family Dinner Baked Chicken Cordon Bleu

Valentine Bark

What Does Adoption Mean? Adopted by God 3 Ways Your Kids Can Help Adopt Your Neighbors Worship in the Waiting Get Up

Choose Joy

United States

INSPIRE, EQUIP, SUPPORT Student ID

Everyday Mom Blog

Everyday Dad Blog

Tough Topics

Marriage

Parenting Resource

Taking Risks

Debbie Guinn

With a Happy Heart

Editor in Chief David C Cook debbie@homefrontmag.com

Filling the Gap

Let’s Be Social! HomeFrontSP

HomeFrontSP

God's Plans Are Greater Share your photos using the hashtag #homefrontmag

Adoption Is Transformation Adoption Wrap Around

OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE | homefrontmag.com

It's Here! We're thrilled to announce the launch of our new website! Things you won't want to miss: • Parent blogs to inspire you • Mobile-friendly format • Lots of downloadable giveaways • Marketplace to purchase article bundles and more!

Michelle Anthony

The new website is filled with fresh ideas and creative ways to provide you with even more resources as we partner together to spiritually parent your children.

Vice President and Publisher of Learning Resources | David C Cook Twitter @TruInspiration

We believe that the Holy Spirit is God’s chosen teacher. It is He who causes spiritual growth and formation when and as He chooses. As such, we have articulated 10 distinct environments to create in your home. We desire to create spiritual space, which we refer to as an environment, in which God’s Spirit can move freely.

Simply go to the link below to check it out today:

homefrontmag.com

OUR MISSION

The environment of OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE recognizes that God transforms us when we step out in faith. Our flesh seeks comfort, but God’s Spirit wants to try our faith in order to grow it.

INSPIRE parents with ideas to create fun, spiritually forming times in the normal rhythm of everyday life.

As children are challenged to step out of their comfort zones from an early age, they experience dependence on the Holy Spirit, who will equip and strengthen them beyond their natural abilities and desires. We believe this will cultivate a generation of believers who, instead of seeking comfort, seek a radical life of dying to self and following Christ.

EQUIP parents to become the spiritual leaders of God’s truth in their own households. SUPPORT families to engage their communities and change the culture around them.

As adults, when we’re in situations where our own resources fulfill what’s needed, we tend to rely on our own abilities. Our kids, on the other hand, don’t have nearly as many personal resources on which to fall back. Their pure faith often helps them to depend on the Holy Spirit far more readily than we do as adults.

FAMILY VERSE Memorizing Scripture can be an incredible practice to engage in as a family. But words in and of themselves will not necessarily transform us; it is God’s Spirit in these words who transforms. We come to know God more when we’re willing to open our hearts and listen to His Holy Spirit through the words we memorize. Have fun with this verse, and think of creative ways to invite your family to open up to God as they commit the verse to memory.

That’s why James tells us to “consider it pure joy” (James 1:2) when we encounter trials. Joy in trials may seem like an oxymoron, but when we come to the end of our resources and our strength and we depend on the Holy Spirit, then we’re truly in a relationship with the Almighty. That’s the place where sanctification happens … and where we find true joy!

Consider purchasing an 8" x 10" frame to hold your family memory verse each month!

OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE | homefrontmag.com

God's Heart

OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE | homefrontmag.com

family time

c a p t u r i n g t h e s e as o n

BREAK MY HEART FOR WHAT BREAKS YOURS Asking God to “break our hearts” most assuredly takes us out of everything comfortable. It causes us to rely on His Spirit. But is there anything more beautiful to God? I think not! Scripture makes it abundantly clear that those in need are near and dear to the heart of God. Widows, orphans, the poor—the list could go on and on. Scripture also makes it clear that, as followers of Christ, it is our role to look after those in distress. James 1:27 tells us, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” As a family, create this 3-D heart and display it in your home as a reminder to focus on the things that are important to the heart of God. WHAT YOU WILL NEED • 9 colors of cardstock • 16" x 20" or 8.5" x 11" poster board • school glue

WHAT YOU’LL DO 1.

Choose the heart template for the size of paper you want to use: 16" x 20" or 8.5" x 11".

Cut out the number of hearts for each row as listed below. Use a different color of paper for each row. • Row 1: 6 • Row 2: 8

• tweezers • scissors • heart template • frame (open like a shadow box or remove glass)

template for 16" x 20" template for 8.5" x 11"

• Row 3: 10

• Row 4: 11

• Row 5: 10

• Row 6: 9

• Row 7: 6

• Row 8: 3

• Row 9: 1 3.

Fold each heart in half.

Holding the heart with the tweezers, dot the folded edge of the heart through the glue.

Starting with the middle row, place each heart one-by-one in the correct places on your paper using the photo as an example.

Hold each heart in place long enough for the glue to settle.

After your 3-D heart has dried, place it in a frame and display it in your home as a reminder to have a heart that breaks for the things that break God's heart.

OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE | homefrontmag.com

family time

sto ry t e l l i n g

Loving Out of Your Comfort Zone Since that day, three winters have passed and a fourth is arriving. And love is on display. Through that time, Lucy has become like an older sister to Ayana.

Ayana carefully wrapped colored yarn around the large papier-mâché letters: LOVE. At one time, the word was foreign to her. But someone she met three years ago began to show her the depth of its meaning. Not merely the dictionary definition. Nor a valentine cliché. But the kind of love that goes along to doctor’s appointments and the grocery store. The kind that notices parenting struggles and offers sanity-saving help. The kind that prays and patiently hopes for the light of Christ to break through and reveal a heart that has finally welcomed Him. It’s not clear yet whether Ayana has. Nonetheless, a new kind of love is making its presence known in her life.

SIMPLE FRIENDSHIP Lucy and her husband are active church members— and not just inside the walls. When their pastor writes in the church newsletter, “There is no more important mandate than to go into all the world and make disciples, and we have the privilege of making that happen personally,” they’ve already put it into practice. And not to brag. It’s what they believe the Christian life is meant to be.

She’s a young wife and mom, thirtyish, with three children ages six, four, and two. When Lucy first met her, the youngest had not yet been born. The family was living in a two-bedroom apartment in a run-down part of town, and they were glad for it. They’d gotten the fresh start they’d been wanting for several years. Ayana made friends among her neighbors and did her best to settle in.

Although Lucy has traveled overseas numerous times for mission projects, she’s come to realize that her everyday mission requires no passport. So three years ago, when a friend contacted Lucy’s church about coming alongside refugee families, she said yes. That’s how she met Ayana. Their relationship began with an invitation to dinner. Considering the language barrier, Lucy knew a home-cooked meal wouldn’t need translation. Ayana and her husband, both from Africa, came to the United States by way of the Middle East.

Her husband worked a factory job for awhile. Then he switched to repairing air conditioners, which were regularly put to the test as summer temperatures spiked to the high nineties in the Midwest. But before long, winter would set in, and with snow covering the ground. Snow—one of so many things they’d never experienced before they moved here.

Ayana was eager to learn English, so Lucy began to meet with her for conversation. They would sort through the mail at Ayana’s apartment while Lucy explained each piece and helped separate the junk 8

OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE | homefrontmag.com

family time

sto ry t e l l i n g from the essentials. Together they made regular trips to the grocery store, creating more opportunities for language practice.

from a genuine sense of relationship, rather than feeling like English practice.

Since Ayana had been raised with a cultural awareness of Christianity, Lucy used simple Bible stories for English practice too. But Ayana seemed to know the stories already and, rather than wanting to talk about their spiritual meaning, she pressed to learn other material. And the children kept interrupting. It became clear that Ayana struggled as a mother of two preschoolers, on top of figuring out life in a new country.

The LOVE lesson is one Lucy remembers well. While Ayana carefully wrapped yarn around each of the four letters, the kids created their own yarn crafts. Lucy guided them through 1 Corinthians 13—"Love is patient, love is kind"—and they role-played the meaning of these character traits. When the lesson was over, Ayana proudly put her LOVE letters on display.

The kids eagerly joined in.

Now Lucy passes along each monthly issue of the magazine and teaches Ayana how to use it. And the children are beginning to look to their mom for spiritual guidance and family activities.

Lucy prayed that somehow the love of Christ would shine through the muddle. Though committed to the friendship, she floundered. Meanwhile, a third baby was on the way. As the months passed, Lucy went along to Ayana’s prenatal appointments and repeated the doctor’s words slowly to make them easier to understand. Ayana appreciated the companionship. By custom, her Muslim husband would not attend the birth; that was a role for female relatives. So Ayana invited Lucy—a sign of the trusted sisterhood that had begun to bond them.

Around the apartment, many different crafts serve as reminders of lessons learned. Lucy prays they’ll also be signs to Ayana’s husband that there’s delight in getting to know Christ. Maybe someday he will be open to exploring Christianity too. The names in this story have been changed for the sake of privacy.

LUCY OFFERS SOME NEIGHBORLY ADVICE

A LOVE LESSON

• Be the friend you’d want to meet. You know how awkward it can feel to be the outsider—imagine how much your friendship means to someone newly settling into life in your community.

As with any young mom, Ayana’s parenting challenges increased with a new baby in the home. So Lucy tried a new idea: she turned to a Christian parenting book and explained the chapters in the most basic language she could. For Ayana, she hoped the exercise would double as parenting lesson and an English lesson at the same time. But the discussion got bogged down, the kids’ interruptions continued, and Lucy became frustrated—until it finally dawned on her to include the kids.

• Participate with your church to match locals and internationals together in supportive friendship. Look for church partnership opportunities available through World Relief (WorldRelief.org), We Welcome Refugees (WeWelcomeRefugees.com), and International Students Incorporated (ISIonline.org).

Lucy couldn’t help but think of when the disciples shooed little ones away from Jesus because they were getting in the way of ministry. Supposedly. But Jesus spoke words as true now as they were then: "Let the children come." Lucy sensed it was the right thing to do.

• Invite international friends to celebrate your family milestones. Beyond the crosscultural experience, baptisms, weddings, and holiday meals provide a sense of extended family at times when internationals might feel most lonely.

And she knew a tool that could help—a parenting resource with activities for the kids to enjoy along with Ayana. It teaches biblical principles too. And because it’s family-friendly, it uses simple English. So on the next visit to Ayana's apartment, Lucy brought along a copy of HomeFront magazine.

• Share family-friendly resources like HomeFront magazine. If you have children at home, include them in your friendship with an international family.

This past summer while the two older children were out of school, Lucy’s visits always included a craft and a lesson from HomeFront. Having a hands-on activity helped everyone relax. Conversations flowed

This story first appeared in the Winter 2015–2016 issue of Resourceful magazine, davidccook.com/resourceful. Used by permission of David C Cook. 9

OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE | homefrontmag.com

Sweet Love

family time

c r e at e

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (1 John 4:7–11) This month, take the opportunity to share God’s love. One simple way to reach out is with a valentine message like this Sweet Love note. Have fun with your family determining who could be the recipients of God’s sweet love through you! WHAT YOU’LL NEED • Valentine downloadable printout from dcc.is/sweetlove • 8 1/2" x 11" card stock • 1 mini Snickers bar • 1 mini 100 Grand bar • 1 mini Milky Way bar • 1 package of Smarties • 1 Hershey’s Hug • 1 Hershey’s Kiss • double-stick tape

WHAT YOU’LL DO 1.

Download and print out the valentine message on card stock.

Tape the matching candy over the prompt on the valentine.

Distribute the valentine to someone who needs a taste of God’s love.

by Debbie Guinn Debbie is the Editor in Chief of HomeFront. She has over 25 years of experience working in children’s and family ministries. She is passionate about equipping parents to become leaders of God’s truth in their own households. Instagram @homefrontsp Twitter @homefrontsp 11

OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE | homefrontmag.com

family time

game time

Silly Libs REMEMBER

WHAT YOU’LL NEED • Silly Libs template (download at dcc.is/sillylibs)

This game is silly and the story is funny, but what would happen if your family really did think of a neighbor to invite over or take dinner to? Ask your children how that might make them feel. What if you did it a second time and a third time? When we step out in faith into the uncomfortable, God will transform and grow us. Encourage your family to talk about different ways to adopt a neighbor, a friend, or a teacher. Maybe it’s not dinner; maybe it’s taking them groceries or helping them clean their yard. God is a big and mighty God, so it doesn’t always matter what we do for people, as long as we are loving them well. God chose to adopt each and every one of us as His sons and daughters. So, if we are to be like Him, let’s look and find very special ways to “adopt” those around us.

• scissors • pen or pencil BEFORE YOU START Download the Silly Libs template. Be sure to read it over to get an idea of what your family will be filling out. This will help you guide your children’s thoughts and ideas. TIME TO PLAY! Gather your family around a table or somewhere comfortable. Explain to your children that this game is full of fill-in-the-blanks. Working together, you will go through all of the blank spaces and take turns coming up with a word to put on that line, without looking at the rest of the story. At the end you will have created a fun and unique story.

by Heather DePartee Heather is a newlywed and works as an Instructional Aide for kindergarten students in Fresno, CA. She spent three-and-ahalf years working on the Families team at ROCKHARBOR Church in Costa Mesa, CA as an assistant to the Early Childhood Director, participating in the development of Tru Curriculum, and as an administrative assistant to the team.

Once the Silly Lib is complete, have an older child or adult read the finished story out loud. The completed Silly Lib will encourage your family to talk about what it might look like to step outside of your comfort zone and “adopt” someone into your family.

OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE | homefrontmag.com

family time

game time

Once upon a time there was a silly little family named _________________________. This family loved dancing to _________________________ Family’s Last Name

Song

and playing with _________________________ _________________________. One day, Color

Animal (Plural)

_________________________ hopped on his/her _________________________ all the way Body Part

Family Member

down to _________________________’s house. The front door was shaped like A Neighbor

a _________________________ and all of the bushes were _________________________. Shape

Color

But this did not frighten him/her. He/She knocked on the door and the neighbor answered wearing his/her favorite _________________________ _________________________. (Family member) said, Color

Piece of Clothing

“_________________________ friend, would you like to come and eat some Way of Saying Hi

_________________________ _________________________ for dinner with my family soon?” Shape

Food

The neighbor pulled out his/her calendar, which looked like a funny _________________________ and said, “_________________________.” (Family Instrument

Way of Saying Yes

member) gave the neighbor a _________________________ thumbs up and Size

_________________________ his/her way back home. (Family member) told Past Tense Action

his/her family to be expecting a guest! They’d eat dinner together, laugh, and play everyone’s favorite game, “Jump on the _________________________ _________________________.” Animal

Game

OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE | homefrontmag.com

Family Dinner ... ADOPTING COLLEGE STUDENTS

The Navarro's family dinners, 2015

family time

traditions over for opening my home and feeding them. They feel like I’m making some sort of difference in their lives. But really, they’re making a difference in mine.

Our Wednesday night “Family Dinners” started back in Austin, Texas, in 2008. We went as a family every Wednesday night to the same restaurant, Enchiladas y Mas. This became a tradition we looked forward to and almost relied on to get us through the rest of the week. Sometimes new people would pop in and join us—friends, other family members, sometimes a new neighbor we’d met. It was a night that many looked forward to and we continued this weekly tradition until we moved away from Austin in 2012.

We’ve begun to build relationships with some of these kids that go beyond just a meal on Wednesday nights. We hang out with them, give them advice, pray for them, grocery shop with them, and sometimes help with schoolwork and studying. These kids are all away from home—away from their parents and most of their family. They just want a safe place to hang out, eat a good meal, and play games like they’re little kids again. We are happiest when we get to provide that for them.

When we moved to Temple-Belton, we hopped around from restaurant to restaurant, looking for that one place that would stick for our Wednesday night family dinners. We just never settled on any particular place. But when we finished remodeling our new house out on seven acres in Belton, and I was walking through it before we moved in, I realized how great the house was going to be for hosting. So I began to envision what that would look like. I wanted it full of people. I wanted people to feel loved at my house. To laugh and have fun. To be fed. I wanted an opendoor policy that people would really use. And out of that moment, the idea of a community-wide Wednesday night family dinner was birthed. I shot The Navarro family a text to a big group of my friends and said: “We are going to start opening our home on Wednesday nights for dinner for ANYONE. This is a perfect opportunity to invite your neighbor, your co-worker or the homeless man on your corner.”

Wednesday nights have made a huge difference in my life, the lives of my family, and for a lot of people in the community. My kids are growing up with a house full of people on Wednesday nights that they might not ever know otherwise. God has stretched me in the process of opening my home and it has taught me that my home is not my own. That it's God’s, and He’s graciously given it to me for right now. That it’s meant to be shared. That it might be pretty but everything in it is replaceable and I care more about the souls that walk through my door than I care about having a clean house. We’ve had church groups donate money, gift cards, and food. One week a restaurant in the community found out what we were doing and donated 75 meals! I have friends who come every week to help me cook, clean, and pour into the kids, just as Nate and I do. We’ve started going to their games to support them. My grandmother who taught for over 30 years has helped with tests and homework. It’s not just changing the lives of some college kids. It’s changing all of us.

I started my invitations with my mom, who is the athletic secretary at Temple College. My cousin is also the men’s basketball coach there. I felt like it was the perfect opportunity to get to know and love on some of those kids, so I told her she should invite some of the athletes. I expected them to come that first time, say, "Thank you," and probably not come back. But they came back. Every single Wednesday. They still come. Every single Wednesday. And they invite more friends and more players. They play basketball, ride the golf cart, hit golf balls, play Barbies and tag with my children, and help some of the younger kids who come work on their basketball form. They thank me over and

Melissa Navarro Melissa has four amazing and wild and crazy daughters. Jessica is 17, Ava is 10, Betsy is 6, and baby Mary Jones is 4. Married to Nate, Melissa lives in Belton, TX on seven acres with way too many animals. She is mildly obsessed with Christmas and LOVES having people in her home.

OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE | homefrontmag.com

family time

fa m i ly t i m e r e c i p e

As a newlywed, I have had the opportunity to adopt a variety of recipes from family and friends. This fancy French dish was adopted from my aunt, Michelle Anthony. It is easy to make and guaranteed to impress! It is a twist on the typical chicken cordon bleu because I substitute provolone for Swiss and omit the Dijon mustard. Also, this recipe features a grilled chicken breast as opposed to the traditional breaded chicken cordon bleu. It still has all the flavor without the added calories! Prep Time: 20 min.

Cook Time: 35 min.

Yields: 4 servings

WHAT YOU'LL NEED For the Chicken • 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, thawed • 4 thin slices deli ham • 8 slices provolone cheese For the Glaze

If needed, spear a toothpick through the stuffed chicken to hold it together while baking.

Mix the honey, olive oil, garlic, oregano, salt, and pepper in a small bowl for the glaze.

Spread the glaze generously on both sides of each chicken breast.

Place the chicken in an oven-safe dish and bake for about thirty minutes, or until chicken is no longer pink and reaches an internal temperature of 170° F.

Remove chicken from oven and top each breast with one slice of provolone cheese.

Place the chicken back in the oven for about 5 minutes until the cheese is melted and bubbly.

• 1 tablespoon honey • 1 tablespoon olive oil • 1 teaspoon minced garlic • 1 teaspoon dried oregano • 1 teaspoon salt • fresh cracked pepper to taste * For an easy metric conversion chart, search the Internet for “metric kitchen.”

Serving Suggestion: For a complete meal, serve with mashed potatoes and a side salad.

WHAT YOU'LL DO 1.

Preheat the oven to 350° F.

Use a knife to make a large pocket in the thickest part of the chicken breast. Be careful not to cut through the sides or the bottom.

Roll one slice of ham and one slice of cheese together. Put the roll in the pocket of the chicken. Repeat with remaining chicken breasts.

by Cambria Columnas Cambria is a senior nursing student at Biola University in La Mirada, CA. Cambria is recently married and her husband, Kevin, now enjoys sharing her homecooked meals and baked treats. Website cookingforkevin.wordpress.com Instagram @cookingforkevin

OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE | homefrontmag.com

family time

k i d s i n t h e k i tc h e n

This bark is the perfect treat for your kiddos to decorate with their favorite valentine candies. Our suggestion is to package this up and give it away, but you may have to make two batches because you will probably want to eat it all yourselves! Prep Time: 10 min. Cook Time: 10 min. Refrigerate: 1 hr. Total Time: 1 hr. 20 min. Yields: 16 servings WHAT YOU’LL NEED

WHAT YOU’LL DO

• 2 (12 ounce) packages white melting wafers

• 16 whole chocolate graham crackers

Melt the white chocolate melting wafers in the microwave according to the package directions. Stir until smooth, allow to cool slightly.

• 1 cup pretzels

Arrange the whole graham crackers on a rimmed baking sheet. Be sure the crackers are touching each other on all sides and completely cover the pan.

Using a rubber spatula, spread the melted white chocolate evenly over the top of the graham crackers.

Sprinkle on peanuts, pretzels, and candies of your choice. Lightly press the ingredients into the chocolate to make sure they're firmly anchored.

Refrigerate until completely set. Break into serving-size chunks.

• 1 cup roasted salted peanuts • 4 cups of your favorite red and pink valentine candies * For an easy metric conversion chart, search the Internet for “metric kitchen.”

Consider packaging your Valentine Bark in cellophane bags and delivering it to someone who would love a sweet treat!

OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE | homefrontmag.com

What Does Adoption Mean?

OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE | homefrontmag.com

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co n v e r sat i o n sta r t e r s

• Look for teachable moments. Even though you are beginning this conversation now, keep your eyes open for advertisements, TV shows, or other places where you might be able to dig deeper into the topic of adoption with your child.

A few months ago, a mom approached me with a seemingly simple question. Her son had just been invited to an adoption ceremony for a friend at school. All of a sudden her son was asking a million questions about adoption. Why was his friend being adopted? What did it mean to be adopted? Why didn’t his friend’s parents want him to stay with them? Mom began to feel overwhelmed. After she did her best to explain adoption, her son was still utterly confused. He decided to fix the situation, and told her “maybe one of the pastors has a book we could read about what it means to be adopted.” That is when I got involved.

GET YOUR CHILDREN TALKING • What are some of your favorite things about being in this family? • When have you heard the word “adoption”? • What do you think it means to be adopted?

Talking to young children about adoption can be challenging. If a child has little experience with adoption, it is hard for him to understand why a child would change families. This can also be a scary or unsettling thought for a child who then wonders if he will be adopted as well. This month, begin a conversation with your family about adoption. Below you will find a few helpful reminders about opening this conversation, as well as a couple of prompts for your family to talk about throughout the month.

by Krista Heinen Krista is the NextGen Associate Pastor at Elmbrook Church in Brookfield, WI. She helps equip and support the families at Elmbrook through resources, events, and conversations. Twitter @KristaHeinen

The following movies can be another good tool to get the adoption conversation going:

HELPFUL REMINDERS • It can take a child a long time to process. After beginning the conversation, listen carefully to what your child is saying days and weeks after you talk. Sometimes it will take them much longer to wrestle with the topic than we might imagine.

• Meet the Robinsons • Despicable Me 2 • Mr. Peabody and Sherman • Kung Fu Panda 2 • The Blindside

• It is okay to tell your child that sometimes even adults need help. In talking about adoption we can talk about how some people who become parents need help from others to make sure their children are in the best possible family.

HomeFront Magazine does not necessarily endorse all of the content in the movies noted above, and this list is provided for your information only. Viewer and parental discretion is always advised.

OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE | homefrontmag.com

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g o d ' s wo r d HEAR IT

Adoption changes everything. When a family adopts a child and brings him into their home, the child’s entire world is rocked. He is snatched from his old, familiar ways and set down in the middle of a whole new life. He must become accustomed to a new family, with their traditions, habits, and “normal” ways of doing things. Adoption is a transformative experience, and one that takes place outside of a person’s comfort zone.

As a family, read Ephesians 5:1–2. Then, discuss the following questions: • What does it mean to be children of God? • How can we imitate God, our Heavenly Father? • Verse 2 shows us that part of what it means to be in God’s family is that we should “walk in love.” What are some ways we can love others?

When we come to Christ, the Bible says we are adopted by God and become His children (John 1:12; Romans 8:15; Galatians 4:5; Ephesians 1:5). In the first half of Ephesians, Paul reminds his readers who they are (loved, saved, adopted, etc.).

• Read Ephesians 4:32. How is it sometimes uncomfortable to be part of God’s family? (We don’t always want to be kind, forgive, etc.)

Then, in the second half of this letter, Paul’s main message is for his readers to live in light of this identity. His appeal is, at its core, “Become what you are!” He means that if a person has truly been loved, saved, and adopted, then she should live like it! He shows us that the old ways of doing things are gone, and that the new has come. Because we have been adopted, we must be transformed.

DO IT Growth is a slow process, and it is sometimes hard to see the transformation that takes place in our own lives. It often takes an outside perspective to call out the ways in which God is transforming us to be more like Him. Parents, use this family time together as an opportunity to speak encouragement and truth into your children about the ways you see them becoming more like God. If you can, focus on a time when your child stepped out in faith, and how you saw God at work in that. Or, highlight a contrast you have seen in your child, such as “I used to notice that you were hesitant to tell the truth, but last week you chose to confess to me instead of hide. That shows me that God is working in you!” Go around the room and share one encouragement of how you see God transforming each of your children as they live out their identity of being God’s beloved, adopted child.

When we are adopted by God, our whole lives become reoriented around what it means to be part of His family—His values, customs, and “normals.” This is often uncomfortable, as it means we can no longer live however we want, as if we were still on our own. Instead, the Holy Spirit begins a work to transform us to look like this family to which we now belong. The good news is that the God we are becoming like is perfect! He is fully loving, fully trustworthy, fully faithful, fully just. God’s transforming work in us is always with our best intent in mind. As we are transformed to become like our Heavenly Father, IT IS THROUGH we become more of our ADOPTION INTO true selves, the people THE FAMILY OF He intended us to be GOD AND THE TRANSFORMATION when He created us. It is through adoption into THAT TAKES the family of God and the PLACE WHILE transformation that takes WE ARE OUT OF place while we are out of OUR COMFORT our comfort zones that we ZONES THAT are truly able to become WE ARE TRULY ourselves for the first ABLE TO BECOME time. As we become more OURSELVES FOR like Him, we become THE FIRST TIME. more fully us.

by Emily Schulz Emily is the Director of Family Ministries at New Denver Church in Denver, CO. She is enjoying the newlywed life with her husband, Phil, and is looking forward to graduating with her MDiv from Denver Seminary in May.

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p r ay e r communication. The command to love your neighbors is one of God's commands that can be easier to obey with your kids than without. Here are a few ways that children can help us know and love our neighbors:

When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment in the law is, He said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment” (Matthew 22:37–38 ESV). He then proceeded to share that the second greatest commandment is to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39 ESV).

STARTING CONVERSATIONS I find it’s easier to start a conversation with someone at the neighborhood restaurant if our kids are playing together. I’ve also found many people start conversations with me when my kids are with me, simply asking how old they are and where they go to school.

Luke records an account of a man who, hearing the commandment to love his neighbor, asks Jesus to clarify exactly who He means when He says “neighbor.” Jesus goes on to tell what we know as the story of the good Samaritan— the point of which is that our neighbor is anyone in need, no matter the circumstances (Luke 10:25–37).

MEETING NEW NEIGHBORS While anyone can bake cookies and knock on a neighbor’s door to say, “Welcome,” something about having a child with you makes this act less intimidating.

In their book, The Art of Neighboring, authors Pathak and Runyon suggest that many of us have misapplied this teaching of Jesus. While it is true that Jesus is calling us to love everyone, too many of us have turned that statement into a general feel-good sentiment, and the result is that we don’t actually love any individual people in a specific, sacrificial way.

SPENDING TIME TOGETHER If you meet neighbors with kids the same age, it’s easy to make plans to get together at a neighborhood park, to go on a walk together, or have a playdate at one of your houses.

One way to tell how well we are obeying the second greatest commandment is to look at our relationships with our actual, physical neighbors— the people who live next to and across from us. Do we know their names? Do we pray for them? Do we welcome them into our homes? Do we have more than surface-level conversations with them? Do we look for and take advantage of opportunities to talk about Jesus with them?

These are just a few ways that kids are an asset in taking the first step toward knowing and adopting our neighbors. My church, The Austin Stone Community Church, created a whole list of ideas on involving your kids in loving your neighbor. To download the PDF, go to dcc.is/ loveyourneighbor. I pray that it is helpful for you and your family.

I know I have a lot of room to grow in loving my neighbors as I love myself, and I imagine most of us would say the same. The good news for parents is that you have a huge advantage in getting to know and love your neighbors: your children!

by John Murchison John is the Executive Director of Children’s Ministry at The Austin Stone. John writes regularly on the Verge Network Family Channel: vergenetwork.org/category/family

Kids have a great ability to break down people’s defenses and to open lines of

Twitter @johnmurk

Looking for ways to involve your kids in getting to know your neighbors and sharing the love of Christ with them? Try an idea from the FREE download at dcc.is/loveyourneighbor!

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... INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION

The Townsend family

We prayed from across the globe as our son battled malaria to a near-death extent more than once. Twice, my husband, Brent, went to see Nathan and had to come home without him. We also witnessed great victories: seeing close family members' hearts soften and change toward our adopted son through the years of prayer and waiting; seeing Nathan’s health restored and the evidence that God was working in that little boy. Through every part of this journey, God has walked with us. There has not been a moment, even in the deep guttural cries, that He has not shown Himself to be real and personal and worthy to hold all that we lay bare before Him.

In 2011 we moved from Georgia to California for my husband’s job. The Lord had given us total peace and unity and we knew this decision was what He had for us. We also knew that we were stepping into more than just a cross-country move; we were laying bare our plans of comfort before Him in a new way. We were serious about following Him into uncharted waters and getting out of the boat if He asked. A few months into the move, life was very quiet. Then God began to call us into adoption, both in quiet whispers and in banners from the ceiling (literally). We could never have imagined the way our adoption story would twist and turn. God called us to change countries 18 months into the process and then, as all paperwork was wrapping up for our little guy, the country closed its release of adoptive children for over two years. In fact it remains closed and it is only by God’s might that a select few were allowed to come home. Nathan was one of them.

Through adoption, God showed us the beauty of waiting and that in our very undone story we could live out obedience and surrender as worship. He taught us that the journey was not a means to an end but an equally precious gift. When we step out of the comfort of the boat, like Peter, seeking desperately 26

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wo r s h i p to get closer to Jesus, we get to see and experience God's love, faithfulness, and might in extraordinarily personal ways. “By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is WHEN GOD God” (Hebrews 11:8–10). CALLED US INTO When God called us into INTERNATIONAL international adoption, we ADOPTION, WE thought we were being called THOUGHT WE to be the arms of God’s love WERE BEING to a child without a family—but CALLED TO BE in reality, God was inviting us THE ARMS OF into a profound understanding GOD’S LOVE of His love for each one of TO A CHILD us; there is no valley too low WITHOUT A or too far to keep us from FAMILY ... His reach. In the valleys of heartache, we learned the Father's ache over us when we hurt or refuse His love. In the peaks of exuberant joy, we learned the euphoria of the Father in walking His children through a victory.

for it produces a harvest of greater dependency on Christ and makes God’s sovereignty practical, all while giving us a platform to share God’s goodness with a watching world. In an effort to remind ourselves and our children of the blessings of the waiting game, we created the Blessings Jar. The Blessings Jar is just a glass jar with strips of paper inside. As significant things would happen (good and bad), we would write them down, date the papers, and slip them inside. The jar was a reminder that each event is a blessing, even if it doesn’t feel like it yet, because God is in the business of redeeming broken things. My favorite part about the Blessings Jar is that at the end of the year, on New Year’s Eve, my husband and I stay up late putting all of the slips of paper in chronological order and taping them to butcher paper to create a timeline of God’s faithfulness to the Townsend family. The next morning after breakfast, we go through the entire list with the kids. We cry and rejoice. And every year, when we see the hard things written down, we can find some beauty in them, for waiting on the Lord always produces fruit. We learned that we had to lay all of our expectations down and to surrender all that we did not understand. Holding tightly only to the expectation that God, our Good Father, was and is going to show up and rescue, equip, sustain, and redeem our situation. In the battles He takes us through, He is a shield around us, protecting us from the illusion that any result is a work of our own strength. The Lord will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring. Some of you will rebuild the deserted ruins of your cities. Then you will be known as a rebuilder of walls and a restorer of homes.” (Isaiah 58:11–12 NLT) DISCUSSION QUESTIONS • Where does God have our family waiting? • How can we worship in this place? by Sharon Townsend Sharon is a homeschooling mom to three precious souls. She loves journaling, baking, and crafting, but mostly Jesus and the amazing family He gifted her with! Her family is part of the ROCKHARBOR Mission Viejo community in Southern California.

Brent with his son, Nathan, at the orphanage in the Dominican Republic of the Congo

Waiting is uncomfortable—it comes with a deeply rooted expectation—but waiting is an invaluable gift,

Instagram @townsend.times 27

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tot t i m e r h y m e ( ag e s 3 & u n d e r )

GET UP

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you SIT AT HOME and when you WALK ALONG THE ROAD, when you LIE DOWN and when you GET UP. Deuteronomy 6:6–7

SIT AT HOME

WALK ALONG THE ROAD

LIE DOWN

GET UP

This month as you wake with your little one, start your day by singing this rhyme to the tune of "London Bridge." Remind your child that God adopts us into His family!

I depend on only you, only you, only you I depend on only you, Holy Spirit I’m adopted now I’m Yours, now I’m Yours, now I’m Yours I’m adopted now I’m Yours, Yours forever I’m transformed and I am new, I am new, I am new I’m transformed and I am new, new forever by Tommy Larson Tommy has been serving as a pastor at ROCKHARBOR Church for the past 11 years. He was part of the development team of the Tru Curriculum. He lives in Costa Mesa, CA with his wife and two children.

Get the audio recording of this song at dcc.is/februarytottime Repetition is fundamental to almost any learning style, so when you’re teaching your children, use repetition! 28

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blessing

to Him and that brings honor to our Heavenly Father. As children of God, it is our privilege and our responsibility to share about the goodness and mercy of Christ Jesus, even if it sometimes leads us out of our comfort zones.

“I am adopted.” These three words have defined the story of who I am from the very beginning. Because of God’s plan, I was adopted as a baby. There have been many times when I have had to reach out of my comfort zone in order to share my birth story. It gets easier as I continue to see the impact it has made on my life and the doors of opportunity it has provided to share God’s faithfulness. My adoption story is a little peculiar, but it’s how I’ve connected with God for the last 24 years. One evening in September, my birth mom entered the hospital wondering why she was having severe stomach pains, only to find out that she was in labor and about to deliver a child. She never realized she was pregnant. The attending doctor knew of a couple, both employees of the hospital, who had been having trouble getting pregnant for many years. Realizing that the birth mother had decided to give her child up for adoption, the doctor contacted the couple to see if they would be interested in adopting this little baby girl: ME! They decided to take a leap of faith, trusting our Almighty Creator, and knowing He would guide them as they took the little baby home as their own, only eight hours after her birth.

The Kinne family

PARENTS, READ THIS SCRIPTURE TO YOUR CHILDREN God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. (Ephesians 1:5 NLT)

My adoption story is the way God chose for me to have a greater understanding of what it means to be adopted into His kingdom. I accepted Christ at the age of five and then rededicated my life at the age of 12. At 12, children are learning about their identity and seeking acceptance from those around them. Sharing with my peers about how I am adopted in and through Christ sometimes had me reaching out of my comfort zone. They would ask if I felt abandoned, or unwanted. Knowing that my story was based upon God’s almighty sovereignty and that I was deeply rooted in Him, I never let my heart wander from the blessing I had felt from Christ. I had grown up knowing He wanted to have a personal relationship with me, starting with the blessing of adoption.

BLESSING (Child’s name), may you know that God has had a plan for you from the beginning. May you know that being adopted into God’s family is the ultimate gift. There may be times when being a part of God’s family will challenge you to reach outside of your comfort zone. My hope is that you are deeply rooted in Him so you may never lose sight of your identity in Christ. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, you can live outside of your comfort zone as a testament of being adopted into God’s family. Always know that it is a privilege to share God’s goodness in your life. Delaney Kinne

Being adopted into God’s family is the heart of the gospel. God had a plan for my life from the very beginning. When we accept that God has adopted us, we are choosing to believe in what He has done for us. We are trusting our Creator, so that we may do our best to live in a way that is pleasing

Delaney is a graduate student at California Baptist University pursuing a career in Elementary Education. She loves our Almighty Creator, her family, singing, camping, Instagraming, and a delicious cup of coffee. Instagram @Delaneyshea

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Photo courtesy of Adriana Laura Photography Instagram @thefreshprints_shop

ta k i n g ac t i o n

The Blakely family

I was never going to have to battle the infertility I had dreaded.

When I was 19 years old, I was sitting in my college dormitory watching Beverly Hills, 90210 with friends. As the doctor on the screen explained to Kelly Taylor that she had a disease called endometriosis characterized by heavy menstrual cycles and painful cramping, I suddenly had a name for what I was going through. Endometriosis. I had never heard the word before that day, and I had no way of knowing that it was going to change the course of my life in a profound way.

Or so I thought. A year after we had Beau, we started trying for our second child. Six years and MANY fertility treatments later, we were broke and without a sibling for our son. It was a dark season for me. I felt alone and forgotten by God. I knew God loved me, and I knew He had a plan for me, but I couldn’t understand why His plan included Him being so mean. That’s what it felt like. It felt like He didn't see my pain. And I was so desperately lonely, because even my husband didn’t quite understand what it felt like to be made to make babies and not be able to do that.

It took three years and several doctors to receive the formal diagnosis that I already given myself based on my serious medical research—you know, watching Beverly Hills, 90210. At 23 I married my high school sweetheart, and because we knew that getting pregnant could be challenging to women with endometriosis, we decided to start trying shortly after we were married. We were pregnant within a few weeks. We miscarried that first pregnancy, which could have been due to the endometriosis or could have been one of the 25% of pregnancies that end in miscarriage for other reasons. The next month we were pregnant again, and this one brought us our son! I was so relieved to think that

We started to consider adoption, but it seemed like an impossibility since all the fertility treatments had left us in a mound of debt. Then one day a miracle happened. A new friend who had 15 children (yes, FIFTEEN), 11 of whom were adopted, offered to pay for us to adopt a baby. There is an amazing story for another day of how God used this family to open the door of adoption for us, and then showed up in a huge way when at the last minute they were no longer able 30

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ta k i n g ac t i o n to provide the funds. But the point is that suddenly a window opened, and I could see a light start to spill into the darkness.

About three weeks before our first conference, I had sold 15 tickets. I had 20 speakers coming and I had sold 15 tickets. But I continued to move forward in faith, knowing that God had called me and He would equip me.

About a year-and-a-half later, I found myself in a hospital in Utah holding my baby girl. And all at once I understood every "no" that God had given me over the last seven years. Because actually He wasn’t saying, "No," He was saying, “Not yet sweet daughter. I’m writing a far greater story than you could ever imagine.”

We ended up with about 115 attendees at that first conference, and it was one of the most incredible days of my life. The brokenness in the room was tangible, but so was the Holy Spirit—lifting up a room full of hurting people and bringing joy back into their hearts.

What I learned through our infertility journey is that we have to learn to love Jesus and trust His plan for our lives, even when it doesn’t look like our plan. We have to choose to be joyful despite our circumstances, trusting a sovereign God who sees the whole picture and wants to use our lives to bring Him glory.

Every year the conference gets better and I am more and more humbled that the Lord chose me to stand at the helm. A friend of mine said to me the other day, “If God chooses to put himself on display through my brokenness … what a privilege.” I am so grateful that what I saw as the Lord being mean to me was actually just Him preparing me for His calling—one that would bring me great joy and bring Him great glory.

About a year after we adopted Penelope, I had a very vivid dream, and I woke up knowing that the Lord was calling me to minister to women in the painful and lonely season of infertility. I immediately got to work putting together a conference to support couples going through infertility and for those interested in adoption. I wanted to build a community and equip people to learn to lean on their loving Father who is the One who wrote those desires on their hearts. I wanted people to come to the conference, see God, and feel seen by Him.

by Emmy Blakely Emmy is a wife and stay-at-home mom of three—her biological son and two adopted daughters. She founded the Choose Joy Conference to help families facing infertility and considering adoption, and is a passionate advocate for adoption. She loves all things food, very occasionally blogs, and enjoys speaking to women’s groups about loving life out loud.

I had no idea how to put on a conference, but I knew that God is in control and would work out the details. So I just started moving forward, and named the conference, Choose Joy. I googled “infertility blogs,” and I reached out to women from all over the country. It went something like this: “Hi. You don’t know me. I’m putting on a conference in Southern California to support infertile people. I’ve never done this before. I don’t know how many people will attend. I can’t pay you or even pay for your travel expenses. I just read your story and I think you should come share it.” And to my amazement, people said, "Yes!"

Photos courtesy of Sara Lucero

Blog www.itsjustemmy.com Instagram @itsjustemmy Twitter @itsjustemmyhere Choose Joy Conference: Website choosejoy2016.blogspot.com Facebook choosejoyevent Instagram @choosejoyevent

Instagram @saraluceroandco 31

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g lo b a l

348,000 CHURCHES — 102,000 WAITING CHILDREN* Throughout the United States, more than 100,000 children and youth are in need of permanent adoptive families. For reasons such as abuse, neglect, and abandonment, their birth families are unwilling or unable to provide for the needs of these kids. Once the court has determined they cannot safely live with their birth family, the search begins for a family willing to adopt. Unfortunately for many kids, the waiting time for that family can be months or even years. The chart below shows the official number of children in your state’s foster care system waiting for adoptive families (as reported by states to the federal government). The number of children in foster care in each state is much higher — this number only represents those awaiting permanent families. The powerful point illustrated in the chart below is this: with the number of churches in the U.S., why should we have any waiting children in U.S. foster care? To view pictures of some of the waiting children and youth, please visit the AdoptUSKids web site.

Churches Kids Waiting in Foster Care *numbers rounded to the nearest thousand

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g lo b a l

STATE

CHILDREN WAITING

STATE

CHURCHES

CHILDREN WAITING

CHURCHES

Alabama

1155 10760

Montana

403 1518

Alaska

786 1050

Nebraska

904 2595

Arizona

2910 3771

Nevada

1879

1248

Arkansas

1020 6343

New Hampshire

182

1033

California

13091 22798

New Jersey

2226

6713

Colorado 916 3813

New Mexico

836

1796

Connecticut 1385 2909

New York

6056

14767

Delaware

243 1009

North Carolina

2070

17625

D.C.

303 825

North Dakota

210

1252

Florida

5127 16805

Ohio

2655 14657

Georgia

1645 14380

Oklahoma

2803 6737

Hawaii

223 1163

Oregon

2062 3646

Idaho

278 1776

Pennsylvania 1924 15539

Illinois

2936 13097

Rhode Island

223

703

Indiana

2318

South Carolina

1330

9479

Iowa

961 4766

South Dakota

397

1368

Kansas

1853 4615

Tennessee 2514 11179

Kentucky

1999 6859

Texas

13148 27505

Louisiana

1088 7983

Utah

566 2582

Maine

480 1539

Vermont

226 692

Maryland

559 5816

Virginia

1517 10952

9204

Massachusetts 2468 4039

Washington 2865 5393

Michigan

West Virginia

3583 11169

1404

3432

Minnesota 983 5628

Wisconsin 1129 6045

Mississippi 890 7718

Wyoming 107 803

Missouri

2065 8973 ÂŠ 2014 Focus on the Family. Used by permission. 33

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Taking Risks ... ADOPTING A BED

Markie visiting the orphanage in Kisumu, Kenya

equip

st u d e n t i d (6 t h

8th grade)

Middle school students cling to comfort. They pursue familiarity, crave to belong, and begin to emulate people and things they love. Does this sound familiar? In a world where comfort can be the goal, what does it look like for a middle schooler to pursue God—to step out of comfort and into a radical trust in the Holy Spirit to lead? Most of us desire our children to take risks, be uncomfortable, and trust in the Holy Spirit’s guidance. What are we doing to model that for MOST OF US them? As a parent, it is a DESIRE OUR privilege to walk alongside CHILDREN TO your kids as they begin TAKE RISKS, BE to understand the sweet UNCOMFORTABLE, comfort of Jesus that goes AND TRUST IN with us in and out of the THE HOLY SPIRIT’S uncomfortable places He GUIDANCE. WHAT leads us. ARE WE DOING TO This concept of middle MODEL THAT FOR school students pursuing a THEM? life of radical faith amidst the comfort of their homes came to life when I met a seventh-grade girl named Markie. Markie is a bold leader, she seeks to make people known in our middle school ministry, and is obedient and faithful to Jesus in a beautiful way. When I met Markie’s mom, it all made sense. Her mom, Wendi, leads out of the same heart. As I began to walk alongside Wendi, Markie, and her sisters, I learned of a ministry their family serves called Agape Children’s Ministry. It has changed the culture and dynamic of their whole family. The Lord clearly tugged on their hearts to do ministry as a family, and as they prayed, God made clear to them that partnering with Agape was where He had called them. Through this ministry, young boys are rescued off the streets of Kisumu, Kenya. Agape’s heart is rehabilitation through counseling, vocational training, and education—through the gospel. The way Markie's family supports the ministry is by adopting a bed (Kitanda Project) that provides a safe place for boys on the streets to sleep. When you adopt a bed, you are trusting God that the person who stays there is exactly who He has planned for you to serve. The Bowers family has adopted a bed since 2004. They donate together as a family, saving money, writing letters to the boys, praying, and loving deeply even at a distance. Through adopting beds, they are quite literally providing a comfort zone for boys in 35

an environment that is far from that. The Bowers family has watched the lives of six boys change as a result of their sacrifice and willingness over the past 11 years. Adopting a bed as a family, “has diminished fear in the way we look at whatever God has called us to, having knowledge that He will equip us. Our kids may not feel brave, but if God has called them somewhere to serve, our job is to obey. The girls have learned that through our commitment.” Markie shares that her parents have encouraged her to give to people in need because “that's being the hands and feet of Jesus.” Wendi is passionate about her daughters trusting that God has equipped them with the Spirit to look beyond the comforts they receive every day. “This has led to deeper conversations about the purposes God has for each of them individually,” she explains. In 2012 Markie and her family were able to serve on a missions trip in Kenya through Agape. They were able to meet the boys who were staying in the bed they had adopted for five years. Wendi described the initial fear her girls had in even getting on the plane; however, she said that fear quickly diminished once they realized the comfort Jesus gave them as He walked with them in the experience and showed them what joy looks like through the street boys they interacted with. Markie said that through Agape she has learned, “God gives us opportunities and we can't miss them. When He presents them to me, it's clear I need to respond and do something to help.” God equips the called. In Christ, we are the called; therefore, how do we challenge middle school students to embrace that truth and respond by stepping out of their comfort zones and into faith? by Haley Downey Haley serves as the Associate Director of junior high student ministries at Grace Fellowship Church in Costa Mesa, CA. She has served in youth ministry for the last five years in various capacities, including Hume Lake Christian Camps and TruIdentity curriculum development. Haley is passionate about community, using her energy to find creative ways to display the gospel to students, as well as walking alongside them as they come to know Jesus and experience life with Him. Agape Website www.agapechildren.org Kitanda Project Info www.agapechildren.org/getinvolved-2/kitanda

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With a Happy Heart ... Adopting the Elderly Kara Noel Lawson

Tessa, Cora, and Eli Lawson delivering meals

It was the first Wednesday of the month and I was trying to get my four kids out the door. The conversation went something like this … “Please get your shoes on! We’re late!” “I’m hungry.” “OK … grab the bag of tortilla chips, and get your shoes on!” “Can we have fruit snacks?” “Whatever … just get your shoes on now. We’ve got to go!” “Can I bring a toy?” “Sure … let’s go! Get your shoes on and get in the car!” The children file into the car … ok … minivan.… I look back to make sure they are buckled … “Ugggggh … why don’t any of you have your shoes on!?!?!” I was tired. I had five things on my to-do list that should have been done the day before. I felt drained and I certainly didn’t have time to drag my kids all around the city delivering meals. Let me explain: A month earlier our church had asked everyone in the congregation to step out of their comfort zones and volunteer at one of our local service partnerships. I chose Meals on Wheels because it tugged at my heartstrings. Ok … ok … I chose Meals on Wheels (food delivered to elderly) because it worked with my schedule and I wanted my children to learn how to serve others. I mean, what do I have to learn about serving? … I’m serving my children all day, everyday. And when I add in school, community, and church events, all I really do is serve others. The day’s schedule was ruined, and I just had to push through and make up for my lost time later. Now, as I was trying to get my family out the door, I was thinking I had bitten off more than I could chew. Why did I add this to our already packed schedule? Oh yeah … my kids needed to learn how to serve with a “happy heart.” We arrived at the food distribution location. Late. But we were there, and that had to count for something. We got 36

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the addresses and food, and then headed to our first delivery. The children really had no idea what was going on, but they were waiting patiently at the front door, food in hand. And by patiently, I mean they rang the doorbell a few times too many and shot me with rapid-fire questions: Why can’t they get their own food? Who makes this food? Can we have some bites? Are we done yet? (Nope … only seven more stops.) As soon as the senior opened the door and saw the kids, she started grinning from ear to ear. The kids handed her the meals, and she told us to wait at the door for a minute. She disappeared into her house, and when she came back she gave a piece of candy to each of the kids. They were ecstatic! At the next house the senior invited us in and we talked about his kids and grandkids AND great grandkids. He reminded me through misty eyes how the time goes so quickly, and that it felt like yesterday that his kids were as little as mine. I hugged and thanked him through misty eyes too. Each house had a similar story. Whether it was a quick food pass-off at the door, or we were invited in for a 10-minute chat, the seniors were thrilled to see the kids. They seemed to be overjoyed to have a visitor, even if it was just for a few minutes. God was transforming my heart with each visit. This may have “ruined” my day, but each stop brightened the day of the seniors we visited. For some of the loneliest seniors, our visit could have brightened their whole month!

Photo courtesy of Mark Brooke Photography from @CraftingitForward

Now we’ve been delivering Meals on Wheels for a year. Some weeks it feels overwhelming to get out the door for our route, but we know every time will be a blessing to us as well as the seniors we visit. And yes, my children have learned how to serve others (just as I hoped), but we have gained far more than a sense of duty; we have adopted the seniors into our lives. The kids now remember our new friends’ names and make them cards and pictures. We have seen the pictures hanging around their homes for weeks after they are gifted. I often wonder why all these seniors are so lonely when they have neighbors just next door. Where are their neighbors? What if we lived in a world where every senior was “adopted” by their physical neighbors—a world where their neighbors are the ones who reach out with visits, occasional meals, and cards? What a wonderful world it would be! Kara is the Social Media Manager for HomeFront. She is a homeschooling mom to four and a freelance writer for the Orange County Register and Family magazine. Kara speaks at moms' groups about how the small things in our lives can make a big impact. Blog smallthingsarebigthings.com Instagram @KaraNoelLawson Twitter @KaraNoelLawson

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Filling the Gap ... Adopting Single Parents Noah Hutchison

How much money do you make? What candidate are you voting for in the upcoming election? Do you believe in Jesus? These three hot topic questions cause a majority of people to quickly feel defensive, isolated, or even slightly uncomfortable. However, when I reflect on the resulting emotions, I see an immediate parallel with how we felt when a single mom first came to our church small group: out of the comfort zone. 38

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My wife and I have consistently hosted church Bible studies in our home since before we were married, but in 2012 we hosted a particular small group where God created a new family through us as we stepped out in faith. It all started with us inviting a single mom we met at our church to our small group of about five married couples. We often invited people looking for a faith community to join us, but only sparingly did people respond and fully engage. After the night when Amber arrived with her son and joined our group, she set the tone for what would become a new family. A broken past with crushed hopes and a messy divorce was her story, but God began to write a new one as she found her true desires met in the other ladies loving her right where she was on her journey with God. Ultimately, she found her desires met in God. Welcoming her into our group presented us with countless opportunities to adopt this mother and her son as our own family over and over again. We celebrated with her in victories, mourned with her in challenges, and rejoiced in the way she grew with God. God transformed our group as we stepped out in faith, eventually bringing in several other single mothers whom we were able to support holistically. Each of the men in our small group learned to intentionally model what it looks like to be a godly husband, to be the godly father the women's sons and daughters never knew or saw. Our wives were intentional to walk in life-on-life discipleship with each other as women and model what it looks like to trust in God. Together we celebrated our kids' birthdays, watched each other's children, and learned to live in community together. As a child of divorced parents, I found myself out of my comfort zone at times in my developmental years. When I met kids who had both parents at events or when I went over to their homes, I quickly came to realize my story was not the same as their story. However, when other members of our family or church chose to fill this gap, I found no lack. The church is called to be those who fill in the gap, who adopt all people, no matter what, into their family. We are called to be a passionate people for Jesus and His purposes, to create places of comfort in places of lack. By offering the love and family identity of Jesus to people outside our own comfort zones, we can be a transformational community bringing hope to a world filled with problems. What are or could you be doing to step out in faith, even if itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s uncomfortable, so others can be brought into Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s purposes and plans for their lives? Noah and his wife, Allison, have been married for seven years and have two beautiful girls, Grace (4) and Harper (2). He has worked in various churches, roles, and locations. Noah currently works as the Associate Pastor at Antioch Community Church in Fort Collins, CO. He is passionate about releasing the restorative power of Christ through His church, equipping leaders, and seeing whole families resourced so homes are discipleship centers that work in tandem with the local church.

The Hutchison family

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God' s Plans Are Greater ... ADOPTING A SPECIAL NEEDS CHILD

Sebastian, 8 weeks old

Nolan, Delilah, and Sebastian

Sebastian, 2 years old

equip

to u g h to p i c s Before my husband and I got married, we had a plan. A planner at heart, it was only natural that I would set a course for my husband and me to follow. It went something like this: get engaged, graduate college, get married, buy a house, be financially secure, and then have four kids (2 boys, 2 girls), and live happily ever after. As you may have guessed, the plans didn’t play out exactly how I envisioned. We got married at 20, moved into a tiny studio apartment, then graduated college, and decided to start a family. The desire to adopt had been in me for as long as I can remember, so I brought it up to my husband to see what his thoughts were. He gave an immediate, "Yes," and we decided that we would love to adopt a child someday. When it came time for us to start a family, neither one of us could get the idea of adoption out of our heads, so we decided to pursue adoption through our local foster care system. Adoption was our plan A, our first choice to start our family. We came up with a new plan, which was to adopt one child through foster care and then have a biological child. We went through the process of becoming foster parents, which included 24 hours of parenting classes, preparing our home for inspection, an extensive application, and more paperwork than you could ever imagine. We were completely out of our IT WAS A TIME comfort zone and didn’t OF STEPPING really have any friends who OUT IN FAITH had grown their family this AND TRUSTING way. It was a time of stepping GOD TO BUILD out in faith and trusting God THE FAMILY HE to build the family He wanted WANTED US TO us to have. We became a HAVE. licensed foster family at the end of 2011 and three weeks later, only 10 days before Christmas, our baby boy, Nolan, came home. He was four months old, had big brown eyes, and stole our hearts immediately. We settled into being a family of three and enjoyed our life as parents!

had some unique needs. He was born at only 24 weeks gestation, which comes with a vast array of health issues. At birth he was 1 lb. 6 oz. and 12 inches long. I did what anyone would do; I did an online search of every potential short- and long-term health problem associated with micro preemies. I didn’t feel equipped to be a mother of a child with special needs facing a long NICU stay and a possible lifetime of special needs. I was afraid and logic told me to say "no," that it was just too much. But God said "yes," so we gave our "yes" and became parents to a tiny miracle baby. We quickly became a NICU family, experts on our son's medical care, and spent as much time as we could in the hospital holding our baby. Three weeks later we got a very unexpected call from our social worker. She informed us that Nolan’s older biological sister needed to be adopted and needed a home immediately. She was two at the time, only 10 months older than Nolan. This time we didn’t even have to ask God what we should do. Our "yes" was immediate and we picked up our daughter, Delilah, the next day. We jumped from a family of three to a family of five in less than a month. I was the mom of two two-year-olds and a baby in the hospital. It wasn’t how I had envisioned my life, but God was transforming me daily as I raised our three kids. After 143 days in the NICU, Sebastian came home and we were all finally together under one roof. Now Delilah is five, Nolan is four, and Sebastian is two. We are expecting a cerebral palsy diagnosis for Sebastian. I am a mom of a child with special needs, not a role I ever expected to be in, but a role that I now love and cherish. God helped me push past my fear and discomfort and moved me into a space of gratitude and peace. God’s plans were so much better and full of so much more joy than anything I could have planned myself. All I did was step out in faith and He transformed my life and my family for His glory. by Kara Murano Kara is a wife and homeschooling mom of three kids ages five, four, and two. She is passionate about adoption and special needs. When she's not wrangling her kiddos, you can find her teaching babywearing classes, writing, or enjoying a cup of coffee.

Since we had such an amazing experience the first time, we threw our plan out the window and asked God what He would have us do. The answer was to pursue another adoption. We updated our home study and again became a waiting family. A couple of months later we got a call from our social worker asking if we would like to be considered as potential parents for a little boy named Sebastian. They called before matching us because Sebastian

Blog sunrisesunsetblog.com Facebook Kara Murano Instagram @karamurano

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Fear of pain blinded me to selfishness, and cast a truly shameful shadow over my mind—children and their ways were repelling. Their helplessness, cries, and needs were nothing but irritants meant to ruin my life. “God, what a lousy way to design creatures,” I thought.

Raising children is one of my least favorite activities. Three years ago, I had an easy life married to my high school sweetheart, Hanna. Finally “arriving,” we’d achieved good jobs, a little house, and a mode of living allowing for some recreation and travel. Then we took in foster kids and blew our world apart.

Taking our children in was embracing vulnerability, stepping directly in between them and their suffering. By no means should this be compared to the involuntary, abject kind of suffering so many in our world endure—but we have suffered for our children. Cancelled court dates, behavioral fallout, relentless sickness, arthritis, sleepless nights, endless paperwork, mandatory appointments, the list of crushing challenges goes on.

Some people’s hearts burn for children. Watching children develop, teaching them, puzzling over phases and stages is a wonder to such people. Children are a mission, even a hobby—a constant labor of love. The existence of these people and Biblical imperatives to care for orphans and widows added up to great personal shame—I lacked this passion. We humans often attribute the title of "calling" to personal preferences and passions. If personal preference is always a calling, then I must be called to wander the wilderness, trail run, and explore—these are my passions. All things to the glory of God, yes, but Jesus was very clear about caring for the least and last.

Hardest of all, our relationship has been battered through neglect. Some days, crawling across the bed at night to put my arms around Hanna feels like crawling across a desert—we are so tired. It all feels so heavy. Then I think about our adopted boy when he was a three-year-old, at his biological home, attempting to find food and fill a bottle for his baby sister because they were living in utter filth and neglect.

Lacking any real desire one way or another regarding children, all I wanted was my wife. Only now am I starting to see, all I wanted was me. Fear and selfishness made it hard to lay down my life for Hanna.

I think about their baby sister holding my hand as sleep finally overtakes her for the day and she whispers, “I love you too, Daddy.”

Four factors opened my heart to welcoming our (eventual) children into our home. First, Hanna wanted to take care of children, and I wanted this for her. Second, the Bible indicates that taking care of orphans and widows is pure religion. Third, my friend and coworker seemed happy with foster kids. Finally, C.S. Lewis said, “To love at all is to be vulnerable.”

I think about all of the laughs and smiles we share. My hard drive is filled with hundreds of happy photos. I think about Jesus Christ, incomprehensibly adopting me, swallowing my suffering, and enduring all the wickedness meant to destroy me. Jesus fulfilled His calling, and now He calls.

Resisting foster care had plenty to do with loving life at the time, but it also had to do with avoiding exposure to pain. I wanted insulation from reality, to buy into an idealistic lie that life could be perfect. Plus, assuming care for children carried the terrifying prospect of responsibility for another. What if Hanna and I failed?

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends. Transformation is an ongoing journey.

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m a r r i ag e

MY JOURNEY WITH ADOPTION IS AN ONGOING TRANSITION FROM FEAR AND SELFISHNESS TO ONE OF SERVING HANNA AND THE KIDS ABOVE MYSELF.

My journey with adoption is an ongoing transition from fear and selfishness to one of serving Hanna and the kids above myself (not always pretty, as Hanna can attest). Along the way, my heart is slowly undergoing a big transformation.

Trail running is rewarding, and I still love having Hanna to myself. Yet, the dark cloud of selfishness has largely burned away and I can see our children more clearly. Their frailty and unbridled exuberance stand out as marvels in a vast and powerful universe.

I can see my wife as grace to me and my truest friend. Hanna and I are called to these children until our last breath. We will suffer for them, and it will be joy. We will seize life, explore, and adventure as a family. Raising children is my best activity. by Brian Erickson Brian grew up slowly in dusty Route 66 railroad towns bordering the Navajo Nation. He makes a living as the interactive art director at David C Cook and has been married to his high school sweetheart, Hanna, for 12 years. Brian likes being outsideâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;preferably running. Instagram @BrianEricksonCO Twitter @BrianEricksonCO

The Erickson family 43

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The Ruman family

With tears rolling down my cheeks, I picked up my phone and texted my wife: “I can’t do it, you need to make the call."

old, with a slew of health issues. They were now six months old and the load was too much for my wife and me. We had to throw in the towel.

You see, that day I was supposed to call our foster agency and tell them that we couldn’t keep our foster twins. It was too much to handle. The twins had come to us when they were five weeks

My wife texted back: “I can’t. We’ll figure this out." That morning we decided that we would keep the twins and figure out how. 44

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pa r e n t i n g r e s o u r c e

Quickly after that I called an organization named Fostering Hope. Fostering Hope partners with churches to create wrap-around teams for foster parents. My plea was simple: “WE … NEED … HELP.” Fostering Hope connected with our IT WAS A church (Woodmen Valley HUMBLING Chapel) and sent help. EXPERIENCE It was a humbling TO ADMIT WE experience to admit we NEEDED HELP, needed help, but if we BUT IF WE hadn't asked for help we HADN'T ASKED wouldn’t have Katie and FOR HELP WE Kyle today (we adopted WOULDN’T HAVE them … they are officially KATIE AND KYLE Rumans). TODAY. That was five years ago. We’ve learned a lot about what kinds of help foster parents need, and what kinds of help foster parents don’t need. Below are a few practical ways you can come alongside foster parents and help where it’s needed.

end. There is a great website called Meal Train (www.mealtrain.com) that makes it very easy to schedule meals for families. HOUSEWORK One of the ladies who helped us out called and said, “I’d like to come over and do your laundry.” My wife and I looked at each other: “Really? Okay.” This angel of God came and did our laundry. Washed, dried, folded. It was amazing. This also left some time to chat, and to listen. Sometimes one of the best gifts you can give a foster parent is a listening ear. Let them vent, don’t offer solutions. Just listen. CHECK-INS There is significant power in the “How ya doing?” text message. To know someone cares, someone is there, is a huge blessing. And sometimes my texts back would be, “ok,” or, “hanging in there,” with a quick response of, “How can I help?” Sometimes we would just need people to come over and feed a baby a bottle of milk. Having a group of people who care for you, who don’t judge you, who are rooting for you, is a priceless asset.

DATE NIGHTS This is an obvious, but very important, area. Foster parents don’t get a lot of time to be together as a couple. They need that. I’ve seen marriages fall apart because of the demands of foster care. I wonder if the marriage would have lasted if the parents had had time together—to connect, to be together. The key to this is committing to a consistent day each month. The fourth Tuesday will be date night, and we’ll watch your kids. Commit to it, and stick to it. This allows the foster parents to have something to look forward to.

CONSISTENT PRAYER I almost didn’t include this one because it seems a bit overused, but the power of prayer is something that cannot be taken lightly. Knowing we had a team covering us with prayer gave us a confidence that we could do this—God and His army of angels have our back. There are over 200,000 foster parents in the United States. I’ve never met one who didn’t need help (even if they said they didn't). If you know of a foster family, please reach out. Insist on helping in any way. They need it and I guarantee you will be blessed because of it.

MEALS When we were in our darkest days, we had kids aged 14, 2, 5 months, 5 months, and 1 month. Preparing a meal was hard; feeding that crew was even harder. Having a meal brought to us was a godsend. And, in particular, the meals that included simple instructions such as "set oven to 325 degrees, put in for 30 minutes, enjoy," were the best. No extra work, easy, and delicious. One family even included plates and plastic silverware. No extra work was needed on our

by Mike Ruman Mike Ruman is the Founder and CEO of Parenting Academy (www.parentingacademy.com). Parenting Academy is a digital learning community equipping moms and dads to be rockstar parents. Mike also founded the Swipe It app (www.swipeitapp.com) that helps connect families together through fun table-topic questions and challenges.

OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE | homefrontmag.com

ENVIRONMENTS The order of the 10 Environments listed coincides with the monthly distribution of this resource.

“God has entrusted me with the things and people He created around me.”

Responsibility This environment captures the ability to take ownership for one’s life, gifts, and resources before God. A child must be challenged to take responsibility for his or her brothers and sisters in Christ, as well as for those who are spiritually lost. Our hope is that the Holy Spirit will use this environment to allow each child to understand that God has entrusted His world to us.

“Asks the question, ‘What needs to be done?’”

Serving This posture of the heart asks the question, “What needs to be done?” It allows the Holy Spirit to cultivate a sensitivity to others and focuses on a cause bigger than one individual life. It helps fulfill the mandate that as Christfollowers we are to view our lives as living sacrifices that we generously give away!

“God fills me with His love so I can give it away.”

“God has a big story and I can be a part of it!”

“God transforms me when I step out in faith.”

Out of the Comfort Zone As children and students are challenged to step out of their comfort zone from an early age, they learn to experience a dependence on the Holy Spirit to equip and strengthen them beyond their natural abilities and desires. We believe this environment will cultivate a generation that, instead of seeking comfort, seeks a radical life of faith in Christ.

Love&Respect Without love, our faith becomes futile. This environment recognizes that children need an environment of love and respect in order to be free to both receive and give God’s grace. Innate in this environment is the value that children are respected because they embody the image of God. We must speak to them not at them, and we must commit to an environment where love and acceptance are never withheld due to one’s behavior.

Storytelling The power of The Big God Story impacts our lives by giving us an accurate and awe-inspiring perspective into how God has been moving throughout history. It is the story of redemption, salvation, and hope and tells how I have been grafted into it by grace. It further compels us to see how God is using every person’s life and is creating a unique story that deserves to be told for God’s glory.

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“I belong to God

“God knows me, and

and He loves me!”

I can know Him.”

Knowing Nothing could be more important than knowing and being known by God. We live in a world that denies absolute Truth and yet God’s Word offers just that. As we create an environment that upholds and displays God’s Truth, we give children a foundation based on knowing God, His Word, and a relationship with Him through Christ. God is holy, mighty, and awesome, yet He has chosen to make Himself known to us!

“When I get off track, God offers me a path of healing.”

“I see Christ in others, and they can see Him in me.”

“God’s family cares for each other and worships God together.”

Course Correction This environment flows out of Hebrews 12:11–13 and is the direct opposite of punishment. Instead, biblical discipline for a child encompasses: a season of pain, the building up in love, and a vision of a corrected path for the individual with the purpose of healing at its core.

Identity This environment highlights who we are in Christ. According to Ephesians 1, we have been chosen, adopted, redeemed, sealed, and given an inheritance in Christ … all of which we did nothing to earn. This conviction allows children to stand firm against the destructive counter identities the world will offer.

Faith Community God designed us to live in community and to experience Him in ways that can only happen in proximity to one another. The faith community serves to create an environment to equip and disciple parents, to celebrate God’s faithfulness, and to bring a richness of worship through tradition and rituals, which offer children an identity. Our love for each other reflects the love we have received from God.

IT IS OUR PRAYER THAT HOMES AND CHURCHES WOULD CREATE THESE ENVIRONMENTS FOR CHILDREN TO LIVE IN SO THEIR FAITH WILL GROW IN A COMMUNITY OF CONSISTENCY, COMMON LANGUAGE, AND PRACTICE. TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW THESE ENVIRONMENTS CAN IGNITE A TRANSFORMING FAITH IN YOUR FAMILY, WE SUGGEST YOU READ:

Modeling Biblical content needs a practical living expression in order for it to be spiritually impacting. This environment serves as a handson example of what it means for children to put their faith into action. Modeling puts flesh on faith and reminds us that others are watching to see if we live what we believe.

SPIRITUAL PARENTING: An Awakening for Today’s Families

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked “ESV” are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Copyright © 2000; 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE | homefrontmag.com 47 Scripture quotations marked (NLT ) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189 USA. All rights reserved.

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SCRIPTURE MEMORY THROUGH WORD AND SONG HeartSmart is a Scripture memory series designed to create opportunities for children to fill their hearts with God’s Word. HeartSmart combines key scriptures with songs, helping parents build a strong spiritual foundation for their children. This second book in the series includes the complete psalm at the end of the story. In addition, parents can access a custom song (with a link provided) so children and families can sing the Lord’s Prayer and Psalm 23 together! Catherine DeVries has written twenty books for children, including the bestselling Adventure Bible Storybook. As associate publisher of children’s resources at David C Cook, she leads product development for The Action Bible Collection™, which has sold more than a million copies.

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