Homefront nov 2015 by Christ Community Church

NOVEMBER 2015

a spiritual parenting resource

homefrontmag.com 1

COURSE CORRECTION | homefrontmag.com

GETTING STARTED

18 ORANGE YOU WILD

26 NEED A GIFT IDEA

34 SEVEN WAYS TO GET YOUR CHILD TO (DIS)OBEY!

THAT HAS PURPOSE?

ABOUT SWEET POTATOES?

COURSE CORRECTION | homefrontmag.com

Giving thanks in all circumstances as this month’s FAMILY VERSE (page 5) suggests is not a natural response. In fact, I rarely, if ever, think to thank God when I am in a season of pain, much less when I’m feeling the discomfort of having my course corrected. Yet, this is what God asks us to do. He wants us to reach beyond what is natural and lean into the supernatural power of His Spirit and begin to thank Him in ALL circumstances. This does not necessarily mean thanking Him for those difficult circumstances; it just means thanking Him for who He is and His pattern of faithfulness in our lives. This month’s HomeFront focuses on giving thanks as a way to get back on the corrected path. Our CREATE article (page 14) provides a fun way for your family to remain thankful throughout the month. The KIDS IN THE KITCHEN (page 16) will have your friends and family saying “thanks” to you for such an amazing treat! Michelle Anthony shares an excerpt from her book Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family in the PRAYER article (page 20). She encourages us to allow our children to lead us in a time of prayer. In our BLESSING article (page 25), she also outlines five biblical steps for giving a blessing to your children and includes words of encouragement for your children to stay on the corrected course. COURSE CORRECTION always has a purpose! We can be thankful that through God’s loving grace He offers us a path to healing. Like a wise father, God knows that thankfulness keeps our hearts exactly where they need to be. Our prayer is that you will understand the height, and the breadth, and the depth of His love for you and your family. May His love lead you to a life of thanksgiving!

CONTENTS FAMILY TIME Family Verse

Capturing the Season

Storytelling

Game Time

Traditions

Create

Conversation Starters

Kids in the Kitchen

Family Time Recipe

Prayer

God's Word

Worship

Blessing

Taking Action

Global

Give Thanks Candles Stay the Course Thankful Tag

Strengthening & Healing by Giving Thanks Attitude of Gratitude Place Mats Do You Know?

Pumpkin Pie in a Jar

Orange You Wild about Sweet Potatoes?

What Makes Us Free Invitation to the Banquet A Change of Perspective

Thirty One Bits Liberia

INSPIRE, EQUIP, SUPPORT Tot Time Rhyme

Student ID

Everyday Mom Blog

Everyday Dad Blog

Tough Topics

Marriage

Spiritual Grandparenting

Lie Down

Debbie Guinn Editor in Chief David C Cook debbie.guinn@davidccook.com

Transformational Grace A Path to Healing

Instructions for the Home

Let’s Be Social! HomeFrontSP

HomeFrontSP

Share your photos using the hashtag #homefrontmag

A Season of Pain

Character Not Chemistry

Jesus Heals the Leopards

COURSE CORRECTION | homefrontmag.com

It’s our pleasure to offer HomeFront in print! We couldn’t be more excited to offer individual subscriptions as well as bulk orders delivered right to your doorstep.

Simply go to the link below to subscribe today:

homefrontmag.com

Michelle Anthony

Vice President and Publisher of Learning Resources | David C Cook

Here’s to a new step in our adventure of spiritual parenting!

T witter @TruInspiration

We believe that the Holy Spirit is God’s chosen teacher. It is He who causes spiritual growth and formation when and as He chooses. As such, we have articulated 10 distinct environments to create in your home. We desire to create spiritual space, which we refer to as an environment, in which God’s Spirit can move freely.

OUR MISSION INSPIRE parents with ideas to create fun, spiritually forming times in the normal rhythm of everyday life.

This month we’re looking at the environment of COURSE CORRECTION. This environment flows out of Hebrews 12:11–13 and is the direct opposite of punishment. Instead, biblical discipline encompasses a season of pain, a building up in love, and a vision for a corrected path for the individual with the purpose of healing at its core.

EQUIP parents to become the spiritual leaders of God’s truth in their own households. SUPPORT families to engage their communities and change the culture around them.

Most people probably think this sounds like a painful process. And it can be! When we find ourselves “off course” in life, sometimes just the realization that we’re wrong can be painful. Sometimes the consequences of our decisions can be painful. However, God has a way of using our mistakes and missteps to make us beautiful and powerful examples of His love. We pray your family will experience the healing and restoration God brings to His children.

FAMILY VERSE Memorizing Scripture can be an incredible practice to engage in as a family. But words in and of themselves will not necessarily transform us; it is God’s Spirit in these words who transforms. We come to know God more when we’re willing to open our hearts and listen to His Holy Spirit through the words we memorize. Have fun with this verse, and think of creative ways to invite your family to open up to God as they commit the verse to memory. Consider purchasing an 8" x 10" frame to hold your family memory verse each month!

COURSE CORRECTION | homefrontmag.com

family time

c a p t u r i n g t h e s e as o n

Thanks e v i G

• Candles •

Often when we hear the story of the Israelites and their time in the desert, we criticize them. We wonder how they could have forgotten all the miracles God used to free and care for them on their journey to the Promised Land. From the parting of the Red Sea to manna delivered daily, we all think we would have done a better job of refraining from grumbling and complaining. However, I’d like to go on record to say I don’t think I would have done much better. I have seen Red-Sea miracles in my life, yet the minute something goes wrong, I cry out, “Why?” The second I feel alone or feel the pain of my course being corrected, I wonder, “God, did you bring me here to die?” I'm no different than the Israelites! It’s easy to forget our daily miracles and focus only on the painful and difficult areas of our lives. This month, as a reminder to give thanks for all that God has done, make these candles and place them in your home. Share stories daily of all that God is doing and thank Him for it. Giving thanks is the best way to get back on the corrected path. WHAT YOU’LL NEED • 10 pillar candles 3” x 6” • GIVE THANKS downloadable letters (available here: dcc.is/givethanks) • Mod Podge • paintbrush • scissors WHAT YOU’LL DO 1. Cut out the downloadable letters. 2. Follow the directions on the Mod Podge and attach the letters to the candle. Be sure to completely attach and seal the paper letters to the candle. Debbie is the Editor in Chief of HomeFront. She has over 25 years of experience working in children’s and family ministries. She is passionate about equipping parents to become leaders of God’s truth in their own households. Instagram @homefrontsp 7

Twitter @homefrontsp

COURSE CORRECTION | homefrontmag.com

family time

sto ry t e l l i n g

Stay the

• Course • It was another long, hard day of work for the ants. For three days now, they had labored to move their colony to its new location. Each of them carried a heavy load on his back and moved it over rocks, around logs, and along a dusty path in the blistering sun. The work seemed endless, and Andy was very unhappy. He was exhausted, hungry, and hot. “Who chose this path, anyway?” he wondered. He was tired of following the ants in front of him without question. For hours now, he had been eyeing a second path, one not too far from the one they were on now. A path, it seemed, that had no rocks or hills—and best of all, one that was in the shade of plant leaves. Nothing sounded better than a path that was out of the sun.

He made his decision quickly. Without lifting his head, he adjusted the load on his back and scurried over to the new path, careful not to disrupt the rest of the ants in the line behind him. He was certain it was a choice he would not regret. Andy smiled as he cooled off in the shade. His feet moved across the ground with ease. He lost sight of the original path but looked forward to the extra rest he would get when he arrived at the colony ahead of the others. It wasn’t long, however, before Andy’s excitement began to fade. The once even ground beneath his feet grew thick with grass. Without the other ants ahead of him, Andy was no longer sure which way to travel. Leaves 8

COURSE CORRECTION | homefrontmag.com

family time

sto ry t e l l i n g began to fall around him and became obstacles for him to avoid. He was scared, and the load on his back felt heavier. Andy was full of regret. He prayed to God and told Him how sorry he was that he had made such a bad choice. Just when it seemed that all hope was lost, Andy looked ahead and saw a familiar set of legs running toward him. “ANDY!” the scout ant called out to him. “What are you doing on this path? We were so worried!” Andy had never been more thankful to see another ant. “Thank you, God, for sending this scout to help me!” he prayed. The scout ant told Andy that he was not too far from the original path, but warned him that the way back would not be easy. The scout ant led Andy up a steep incline. The load Andy was carrying began to slip, but he was just thankful that he had another ant to follow who knew the way back. When they reached the top of the incline, Andy saw a long stretch of rocky, dusty road leading back to the original path. The sun was hotter than ever, and Andy was hungrier and more tired than he thought possible, but he was thankful that his group of friends was just ahead. Finally, he reached the original path and made his way back to the colony where he was greeted by many of the other ants who had missed him along the way. Andy thanked the scout ant for staying with him. He knew that God had saved him and he was thankful that God had allowed him a way to find the right path again. PARENTS Biblical discipline is the direct opposite of punishment. It flows out of Hebrews 12:11–13: “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. ‘Make level paths for your feet,’ so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.” Course Correction has three distinct parts: a season of pain, building up in love, and a vision of a corrected path for the individual with the purpose of healing at its core. After reading this story to your children take some time to discuss the following: 1. Why do you think Andy wanted to take a different path? (He thought he knew more than the other ants.) 2. What did Andy do once he realized his choice led him to a more difficult path? (He prayed.) 3. Was there a time when it was scary and hard for Andy? (A season of pain.) 4. Did someone come to help? Were his friends glad to see him? (Building up in love.) 5. Did the scout show Andy how to get back on the right path? (A vision of a corrected path.) by Alyson Crockett Alyson is the Director of Ministry at City Church in Anaheim, CA. She loves being a wife and a mother of two children— Paris, age 12, and Noah, age 8. Alyson and her husband are currently awaiting placement through the foster care system for their third child. 9

COURSE CORRECTION | homefrontmag.com

family time

game time Y PLA L L A

n k a ful h

WHAT YOU’LL NEED • clothespins • paint

• Tag •

• pens or permanent markers BEFORE YOU START Each player will need three clothespins. Paint the correct total number of clothespins different, fun, fall colors and let them dry. Once the clothespins are completely dry, you’re ready to play!

TIME TO PLAY!

Gather the family around and begin by handing everyone three clothespins and a pen or permanent marker. Each person will then think of three things she is thankful for and write one on each clothespin. For example: “my family,” “my house,” or the names of teachers and friends. If you have little ones in your family, you can partner them up with an older child or adult to help with writing. Take your family outside (if it’s too cold, see our twist below), and have them spread out with their three clothespins in hand. The rest of this game is similar to tag. Each person will try to pin his clothespins on everyone else, while trying not to get any pinned on him. Emphasize to your family that they may only pin on clothes. The first person to get rid of all of her clothespins wins! After the game is over, circle the family up. Take turns going around the circle and having each person read what the clothespins say out loud. You can even try guessing who is thankful for what!

COURSE CORRECTION | homefrontmag.com

family time

game time

IF IT’S TOO COLD OUTSIDE Instead of playing this game outside like tag, you can play it in your living room like Duck, Duck, Goose. We’ll call this, “Duck, Duck, Turkey!” Have your family sit in a circle on the floor. Pile up all of your clothespins in the middle. The first person to go will take one clothespin and begin going around the circle. When she deems someone “Turkey,” she will put the clothespin on that person and the chase begins. Each time a player goes around the circle, he will start by getting another clothespin from the pile. Continue to play until all clothespins in the center are gone. At the end, the person with the least number of clothespins stuck to him wins! Once the game is finished, take some time to read what everyone is thankful for and guess who said what. REMEMBER! Being thankful is not just a time to think about all of the things we have. It is also a time to think about the One who provides us with so much we do not deserve. Remind your children that it can be easy to forget about God and who He is, especially in painful times or when we are making poor choices. During those times, when we are steering off of the path God has for us, it’s good to pause and remember all He has done, who He is, and all we are thankful for. Sometimes that can be just enough to bring us back to the correct path! by Heather DePartee Heather is a newlywed and works as an Instructional Aide for kindergarten students in Fresno, CA. She spent three-and-a-half years working on the Families team at ROCKHARBOR Church in Costa Mesa, CA, as an assistant to the Early Childhood Director, participating in the development of Tru Curriculum, and as an admin to the team.

COURSE CORRECTION | homefrontmag.com

family time

traditions

n re

g n i & n e H h t e g

ali

• by Giving Thanks •

Thanksgiving is by far my favorite holiday. I love the generous spirit of the occasion and the way it seems to draw families together. In a day seemingly soaked in tradition and time together, the conflicts and struggles of family life seem to be on pause, held at bay by the warmth of this pleasant time together.

There is a healing quality to thanksgiving. It strengthens and restores relationships by correcting our perspective. When we embrace this truth, thanksgiving becomes more than a holiday. It means we acknowledge the gift of one another and openly express our gratitude. What would our relationships be like if we lived, “giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:20–21 ESV).

Sadly, the relational atmosphere in our home often changes with the season. Amid the demands of everyday life, it is all too easy to lose sight of the gift we have in family and friends. When this happens, our relationships get off course. Rather than seeing each other as God intended us to, our loved ones can seem frustratingly inadequate and can become like obstacles to our personal happiness. The result is emotional distance and broken relationships.

Perhaps you are longing to see this in your family. What better time to embrace the healing power of thanksgiving than this beautiful season set apart for this very purpose? Each year I prayerfully consider how I can highlight relationships in our Thanksgiving Day celebration. On the next page is a description of one of my family’s favorite traditions!

Maybe your family has drifted off course in this area and you are longing for a way back. Don’t worry—you’re not alone! In the book of Luke, a young man, determined to find something better than he has at home, takes all his father will grant to him and thanklessly wastes it. The Bible tells us that, destitute and broken, he comes to his senses, and acknowledges the goodness of his father and returns home. Far from holding a grudge, his father celebrates his return, grateful to have his son with him once more.

by Kimberly Baltzley Kimberly is a wife and mom of three children. She serves as Family Pastor at Grace North Church in Arizona where she oversees birth through college, parenting, and marriage for all campuses. Instagram @kimberlybaltzley Twitter @kbaltzley

COURSE CORRECTION | homefrontmag.com

WHAT YOU’LL NEED • blank cards • pens or colored pencils WHAT YOU’LL DO 1. In advance, gather enough blank cards for every person attending your family gathering and write each person’s name on a card. 2. Before dinner, as everyone is socializing, encourage each person to take a card with another family member's name on it and write (or draw) a personalized message of gratitude—describing something about that person they are thankful for. 3. This card then becomes their place card at dinner; celebrate one another as you share a meal together!

COURSE CORRECTION | homefrontmag.com

family time

c r e at e

f G o r e a d t itud u t i t t e A

• Place Mats •

Living a life of gratitude is one of the best ways to combat grumbling, negativity, and sadness. When things don’t go our way or our course is corrected, the easy response is to complain and dwell on the correction. If, instead, we choose gratitude, we will be able to live on the corrected path in a way that brings life for us and for our families. Gratitude is a great trait to pass on to our children. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to “give thanks in all circumstances.” As we embrace an attitude of gratitude, we will recognize all of the amazing gifts God has given us and it will make the temporary pain of a corrected course much more bearable. One way to make gratitude the norm in our families is to celebrate the things we are thankful for every single day. There is no better place to create this rhythm than around the table. This month, create “Attitude of Gratitude Place Mats” for everyone in your family. Then each day when you sit down for a meal, have a dry erase marker available to write what each person is thankful for on his placemat. Share stories of how God provided that day and pass on an attitude of gratitude to your family. WHAT YOU’LL NEED • 12" x 18" cardstock or construction paper (one for each family member) • stickers (optional) • clear contact paper/ laminate • markers • dry erase marker

WHAT YOU’LL DO 1. Start by writing the words “I’m thankful for …” on either the far right or left side of the paper. 2. Decorate the rest of the place mat by drawing or using stickers. Leave a blank space under the words you wrote. 3. After the mats are completely decorated, cover them with clear contact paper or laminate that can be written on with a dry erase marker. 4. Leave the place mats on the kitchen table or counter so everyone can write what they are thankful for during meals throughout the month. by Krista Heinen Krista is the Family Director at Elmbrook Church in Brookfield, WI. Krista helps equip and support the families at Elmbrook through resources, events, and conversations. Twitter @KristaHeinen

COURSE CORRECTION | homefrontmag.com

family time

co n v e r sat i o n sta r t e r s

Families often think they know each other well—after all we live together and spend most of our waking hours together. But do we really? Do we honestly know the desires of our most cherished loved ones' hearts? Do we know when they are in deep pain or feeling their course is being corrected? I was recently challenged by this when I heard a counselor share that the first question he asks when a couple comes to him for marriage counseling is, “What is the number one prayer request of your spouse?” He said 85% of people could not answer this simple question. This month, let’s take the time to find out how we can come alongside those who are closest to us! GET YOUR CHILDREN TALKING • What is your number one prayer request? • What is your number one praise? by Debbie Guinn 15

COURSE CORRECTION | homefrontmag.com

family time

k i d s i n t h e k i tc h e n Your kids will love helping you assemble these pumpkin pies as much as they will love eating them. These pies are great to make ahead of time and take to your family feast. Prep Time: 30 min. Cook Time: 7 min. Yields: 10 to 12 jars of pie WHAT YOU’LL NEED • 10–12 wide-mouthed mason jars (8-ounce) FOR GRAHAM CRACKER CRUST LAYER • 1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs • 3 tablespoons brown sugar • 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon • 4 tablespoons butter, melted and slightly cooled FOR WHIPPED CREAM CHEESE LAYER • 2 cups heavy whipping cream • 1 1/2 cups sifted powdered sugar • 8 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature • 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

WHAT YOU’LL DO FOR GRAHAM CRACKER CRUST LAYER Preheat oven to 350° F. Stir together the graham cracker crumbs, sugar, and cinnamon. Then add the melted butter and stir until evenly moistened. Spread mixture in a 9'' x 13'' pan and bake for 5 minutes. Stir and bake for another minute or two, or until crumbs are fragrant and nicely browned. Remove from oven and let cool completely while you prepare the other pie layers. FOR WHIPPED CREAM CHEESE LAYER Whip the cream until stiff. Add the powdered sugar and beat just to combine. Remove sweetened whipped cream to another bowl and set it in the refrigerator. Add the cream cheese to the same bowl and cream until very smooth, about 1 to 2 minutes. Blend in the vanilla. Now add half of the sweetened whipped cream back into the bowl with the cream cheese, gently folding to thoroughly combine. Place this mixture in the refrigerator to stay chilled. FOR PUMPKIN LAYER Pour the milk into a large bowl. Add the pumpkin, pudding mixes, and spices. Beat with a wire whisk for 2 minutes until very well blended. The mixture should be quite thick. ADD THE LAYERS INTO THE JARS—THIS IS WHERE YOUR KIDS CAN GET INVOLVED!

• 1 cup milk

1. Spoon approximately 2 tablespoons of the whipped cream cheese into the bottom of the jar. Be careful to avoid getting it on the sides of the jar. Lightly tap the jar on a towel (so it doesn’t break) on the counter, to settle the mixture. Repeat this step with the rest of the jars.

• 1 15-ounce can pumpkin puree (not pre-spiced pumpkin pie filling)

2. Sprinkle the whipped cream cheese layer with 2 tablespoons of baked graham cracker crumbs. Lightly tap the jar again to even out the crumbs. Repeat with the rest of the jars.

• 2 packages (4-serving size) Jell-O vanilla flavor instant pudding and pie filling

3. Spoon approximately 2 tablespoons of the pumpkin pudding mixture on top of the graham cracker crumbs. Lightly tap again and repeat with the rest of the jars.

• 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon

4. Now you can simply add a dollop of the reserved sweetened whipped cream (without the added cream cheese) to the top of each pie with a spoon. Finish with a sprinkling of graham cracker crust.

FOR PUMPKIN LAYER

• 1/4 teaspoon ginger • 1/8 teaspoon cloves *F or an easy metric conversion chart, search the Internet for “metric kitchen.”

5. Refrigerate and enjoy!

COURSE CORRECTION | homefrontmag.com

family time

fa m i ly t i m e r e c i p e

Here is a fun twist on traditional sweet potatoes for your Thanksgiving feast. You may find that your family actually starts asking for these year round. Prep Time: 20 min. Cook Time: 50 min. Yields: 6 servings WHAT YOU’LL NEED • 4 large sweet potatoes (about 4 pounds), peeled and cut into chunks • 1/2 cup milk • 4 tablespoons butter • 4 large oranges • 1/4 cup orange juice (from the oranges) • 2 tablespoons brown sugar • 1 teaspoon salt • 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon • 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg • 1 bag (16 ounces) large marshmallows

WHAT YOU’LL DO 1. Preheat oven to 350° F. 2. Place sweet potatoes in a medium-sized pot. Cover with cold water. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Reduce heat and simmer until fork-tender, about 20 to 25 minutes. Drain. 3. In a small saucepan, heat milk and butter until warm but not boiling. 4. While the milk is heating, cut a thin slice from the top and bottom of each orange to make flat surfaces. Cut oranges in half. Squeeze and save the juice. Then scoop out the pulp. Set orange cups aside. 5. Return the potatoes to the pot and add warm milk mixture, orange juice, sugar, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Using a handheld mixer, whip until creamy. Add more milk if necessary. 6. Place orange cups on two baking sheets. Divide sweet potato mixture equally among cups. Top each with a marshmallow and two pecan halves. 7. Bake until beginning to brown, about 30 minutes.

• pecan halves *F or an easy metric conversion chart, search the Internet for “metric kitchen.”

COURSE CORRECTION | homefrontmag.com

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p r ay e r

IDENTITY | homefrontmag.com

family time

a k M e t s a U h

• Free•

What can we do for Your people? We really want to do something for Your people. I really want to do something for You. And, for people who don’t have food, beds, homes, and all kinds of stuff like that. I love everyone. And I love You just the way you are.

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship" (Romans 12:1). It’s “in view of God’s mercy” that we can do anything in life that is of meaning. It’s “in view of God’s mercy” that we live and breathe. It’s “in view of God’s mercy” that our marriages and our families can not only stay together but also thrive. Remember, this is His story and He knows the beginning from the end. We have been grafted in by grace and given a part to play in His script. And His grace is sufficient even for the most messed-up families. Praise God for that! Young children seem to understand this freedom more than anyone else. I know of a five-yearold girl who has had painful family circumstances most of her short life. Yet she knows how to sense God’s mercy, grace, and freedom in the midst of the difficulty. Her prayers remind me that when we focus on our messed-up circumstances, we feel the need to react out of bondage, but when we focus on our heavenly Father, we feel we can respond out of freedom.

p r ay e r

And, I’m so happy that you are our King. Nobody else is our King. You are our King. You are the Lord over all angels. The Devil is bad, and You are good. Thank you for everything You made, and we love You so, so much—and nothing can defeat You. You are the bestest ever. In Jesus name, Amen.

Parents: This month let your children lead you in prayer. Allow them to pray prayers of victory regardless of circumstances and focus your family on a corrected path.

“You are our King”? “Nothing can defeat You”? Really? Wow, I wonder what my faith and freedom would be if I began to pray more like a five-year-old? In her little life she already has reason to be in bondage from life’s ill circumstances, but her father and her grandmother are choosing to model mercy and grace to her.

I believe God is victorious and that this will be her prayer when she is fifty as well. We can take a lesson from a child. We can no longer choose to hold onto our hurts and the offenses done to us when we have received such lavish grace and forgiveness from our heavenly Father.

One night, this little girl’s grandmother (“Mimi”) recorded one of her prayers. This is what she prayed: Dear Jesus, Thank You for Mimi; I love her so much. I think that all that You have made is the best. Please don’t ever take my Mimi away—I love her so, so much. She’s the bestest ever. Thank You for my brother; he is the bestest too. Thank You for all my friends too—because those are the best people in my life. You don’t have to make it any special-er. Because what You do for me is so great.

Excerpt from Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family by Michelle Anthony (pages 62–63). Michelle Anthony is the Vice President of Learning Resources and the family ministries architect at David C Cook. Michelle has graduate degrees in Christian education, theology, and leadership, and over 25 years of church ministry experience as a children’s and family pastor. She lives in Colorado Springs, CO and loves a good book and a cup of coffee. 21

COURSE CORRECTION | homefrontmag.com

family time

g o d ' s wo r d

n o i t t o a t t i h v e In

• Banquet•

helplessness and had been accepted. And not just accepted, but celebrated! His family would be taken care of, and Mephibosheth would be welcomed as a child of the king.

Mephibosheth, sitting on the floor before the King, kept his head bowed low. He stared at the ground. His body was still, his disfigured legs motionless as always, but his heart was anything but calm. Had he heard correctly? King David must have misspoken. This must be another cruel joke. Was it just more demeaning, humiliating treatment like he had been experiencing his whole life?

HEAR IT Read 2 Samuel 1:3–4; 4:4; and 9. King Saul and his son, Jonathan, had been killed, and David was now king. It was common, in that era, that the new king would kill all of the family of the previous ruler, so that they would not take revenge on him. But David, who loved Jonathan, did just the opposite. He searched for relatives of Saul and Jonathan in order to bless them. He found Mephibosheth, who had been crippled since childhood, and treated him like family. In spite of our imperfections, our sins, God lovingly and graciously "searches" for us, pursues us, and blesses us by inviting us to join Him at His table as sons and daughters!

He kept staring at the floor. In a split second, hundreds of painful memories flashed through his mind ... the fear he felt after being orphaned, the trauma of the accident and of then being mocked as a child with deformities, memories of being the outcast, of feeling unacceptable, of bearing the shame of being ugly, useless, and a burden. And all of this while feeling so alone. He instinctively and quickly shut his eyes tightly, hoping the memories would go away, wishing he could just go away. There were so many days he had just wished he was invisible to avoid the judgmental eyes of others, and yet, at the same time, he felt so invisible that he wanted to scream out for someone to see him ... to actually see him.

DO IT Seek out someone, or several people, in your community who may be feeling lonely, sad, or especially sensitive during this holiday season. Bless them by inviting them into your family to share in your traditions, your Thanksgiving meal, your holiday celebrations. Treat them as a son/daughter/ brother/sister. By doing this, you, like King David, can reflect to them what God is like ... a loving Father who seeks us out, welcomes us, and calls us His own!

Somehow, a teardrop found its way out and dropped to the floor of the king's palace. Then he heard the king speaking again, but this time, not to him. Yet it was about him. And he listened intently to make sure he wasn't dreaming. The king said again that Mephibosheth would receive all of the land that had belonged to his grandfather, King Saul. And he would now eat with the royal family at the king's table!

by Jason Kliewer

When he heard those words again, the grace and love the king was showing him overwhelmed him, and tears streamed down his face. He had been seen! He had been seen in all of his ugliness and

Jason is a dad of two daughters and a Community Pastor at ROCKHARBOR in Costa Mesa, CA. He has a Masters in Biblical Studies from Grace University in Omaha, NE.

COURSE CORRECTION | homefrontmag.com

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wo r s h i p

n a g h e C of A

thoughts on God’s provision and be thankful for the opportunity to work. During the slow season, we should be thankful for the rest and be reassured that God has always provided for us and always will.

• Perspective •

We need to ask God to change our mindset so we can see all that God is doing. When we change our thinking, focus on what God is providing, what He has already provided, as well as what He has spoken to us regarding the future, this is considered an act of worship. Declaring that we are loved by a good God who wants the best for us, and who cares about the details of our lives, is an act of worship. This isn’t always a natural way of thinking and God must be the one who changes our minds and hearts. Our part is to be intentional about not getting wrapped up in our emotions but rather focus on what God is doing. Allowing God to get our thoughts in line with His allows us to get back on course and follow God where He is leading.

People tend to hear the word “worship” and automatically think of music. While singing praises to God is an excellent way to express our worship, it is definitely not the only way. According to dictionary.com, “worship” is defined as “reverent honor and homage paid to God.” This means that during any act of worship our hearts and minds should be completely focused on the honor due to God.

This month we would like to challenge your family to come together once a week and confess an area within your lives that you are struggling with, feeling burdened about, or have had a bad attitude about. Confess, if necessary, that you cannot always see how things will work out, but that you do trust God. Ask forgiveness for any negative thoughts or attitudes. Acknowledge how God is actually working in your lives and ask Him to change your perspective in order to align with His. Finally, as an act of worship, thank God for His hand in your life.

There are times in our lives when situations can look like burdens. One example for my family and me is the small business we own. There are times when our business is slow and we are begging God for provision and more work. On the other hand, we have other seasons where work is so busy that we can’t keep up. We tend to view both of these circumstances as burdens. You’ve heard the expression “feast or famine,” and our business is almost always in one of those states. During the busy seasons we feel the stress, frustration, and ever-present pressure to make sure our customers are taken care of, satisfied with our service, and that nothing has slipped between the cracks. In the slow season we long for the fast pace and financial security that comes with being busy. Oftentimes we get so bogged down in the negative that we begin to sin and treat God’s blessings as a problem He should solve for us. We view every day as a battle that needs to be fought and won.

Document your family’s specific circumstances and thoughts in a journal each week. At the end of the month review what was previously discussed and see how God has moved, changed, or breathed fresh life into your perspective. Carve out time to worship God for His continued presence in your life. Acknowledge with your heart and mind that God is a good God, and wants the very best for you!

Recently, I suggested to my husband that we should be thankful in any season we are experiencing. Instead of seeing every piece of paperwork as a burden, we need to focus our

by Carrie Skufca Carrie is a full-time mom with three children. Her passions include reading, writing, and volunteering at her church.

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blessing

attach high value, the response in our children’s or loved ones’ hearts can be nothing short of transformational. The light goes on in their hearts and minds when they realize that, because of the way God made them, they can do more than they ever dreamed in living out a God-honoring future.

Drs. John Trent and Gary Smalley outlined five biblical steps for giving a blessing to children in their book The Blessing: Meaningful Touch, A Spoken Message, Attaching High Value, Picturing a Special Future, and An Active Commitment. I have expanded on these steps below. 1. Meaningful Touch. Before a word is spoken, there should be the laying on of hands, a hug, or a reaching out to touch. We see this throughout Scripture, both in the Old and New Testaments. Appropriate touch conveys in powerful, nonverbal ways our love and affirmation. Touch prepares the way for our words.

5. An Active Commitment. Blessing children doesn’t mean we never discipline them or point out areas where growth is needed. But children know at an incredibly deep level if they have their parents’ blessing—if their mom or dad, grandmother, aunt, uncle, or other loved one really sees high value in them—even during the tough times. Genuine commitment is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person that says as long as I have breath, I’ll be there to see to build these five elements of blessing into your life story.

2. A Spoken Message. In biblical times, children weren’t left to “fill in the blanks” as to whether they were valuable to a parent or grandparent. Words were used, aloud and in writing. Today, words can place unconditional love and acceptance into the heart of a child or loved one.

Excerpt from Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family, by Michelle Anthony (page 115–116).

3. Attaching High Value. But what words do you say or write? The word blessing carries the idea that the person you’re blessing is of incredible worth and value, even as an imperfect person. In short, you’re helping a child get the picture that you see things in his or her life today that make the child special, useful, and of great value to you.

BLESS Parents, speak this blessing over your child. (Child’s name), may you always seek to stay on the path God has laid out before you. (Child’s name), always remember that, should you happen to stray from that path, God is waiting to build you back up with His never-ending love for you.

4. Picturing a Special Future. With our touch and with our words that

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ta k i n g ac t i o n A few of us went back to Uganda the following summer and selected a group of six women to begin this adventure with. We sat with them daily, making beads and listening to their stories. We visited their homes and met their families. We laughed together, cried together, and learned from each other. Kallie stayed in Uganda for the following year, setting up our organization and helping the women create new styles of jewelry. The other four of us began our last year of college with a new agenda: selling jewelry anywhere we could. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. We were a misfit group of dreamers, artists, and socialites … not business people. We didn’t know the first thing about starting a business. By day we were college students, but the evenings were filled with studying fashion, marketing, and development work. We discovered two things. First, we didn’t want to be just another charity selling key chains and t-shirts. We were determined to create a fashionable product that women would buy because they actually liked it. Second, these women needed a lot more than a paycheck. They needed education, health care, and counseling. They needed to be cared for physically, mentally, and emotionally. They needed a way to be whole.

THE NAME "31 BITS" The “31” comes from Proverbs 31, where it describes a diligent woman providing and caring for her family. The “bits” comes from what the beads are made out of … bits of paper!

ABOUT We were carefree juniors in college. We were waitresses and babysitters, living for the moment. But with graduation just a year away, we knew we were supposed to be figuring out what was next. We began filling out grad school applications, applying for jobs, and making travel plans. But in the midst of planning out what was next, our lives were interrupted.

We started by selling the handmade jewelry at school events, craft fairs, and home parties. We told our story to anyone who would listen. Eventually we started an online store and a wholesale program. The road was rocky and the sleep was scarce, but five years later, we’re selling in over 300 stores and have shared our story with hundreds of thousands of people.

Our classmate, Kallie, had just gotten back from a life-changing trip to Uganda. She met women who grew up in a war and had nothing. They were single moms with no education and no job, and they were our age. OUR AGE. Our lives couldn’t have looked more different. What the women lacked in education, they made up for in skill and resourcefulness. They were making incredible jewelry out of old posters. Kallie brought a box of the jewelry back, and we fell in love instantly. We sold the jewelry to friends and ran out within weeks. That’s when it hit us. These women had a skill, but needed a market. We lived in dorms and apartments filled with people who would love this stuff! Together, we could make a business.

We implemented a five-year holistic development program in Uganda to provide each woman with health education, finance training, counseling, and business training. Within this community she can earn an income, be educated, and develop a dream for her future. After five years in our program, the women graduate with an education, a career, social

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ta k i n g ac t i o n equity, confidence, and a voice. We now have 120 women in our program whose lives are changed. Their children’s lives are changed. Their community is changed. And we got to be a part of it! Five years ago we were carefree 21-year-olds. Today, we have plenty to care about. We’ve learned that as consumers, every purchase we make has either a negative impact or a positive impact in the world. That’s why we’ve taken a simple product like jewelry and made it a vehicle for doing something GOOD. Our customers are changing people’s lives through their purchases. 31 Bits is part of a movement revolutionizing the way people do business. We believe businesses should be conscious of both the creator and the consumer. Through holistic care and your purchase, women are being empowered to rise above poverty.

Founders Kallie Dovel, Alli Swanson, Anna Toy, Brooke Hodges, and Jessie Simonson BITSIES 31 Bits for kids! Jewelry for the cutest worldchangers in all the land. The 2015 Bitsies Collection includes colorful necklaces and bracelets for kids! It's a fun way to teach your kids about purchasing products that make a difference in the world. To find out more, and take an imaginary journey through Uganda with a girl named Lola, go to: 31bits.com/shop/bitsies.html.

ANGER! •

T L E WO

GRE A GIF T T IDE A!

F T F O R YO

T C H R I ST M EA A

LIT

YouTube 31 Bits

Pinterest 31 Bits

Instagram @31bits

Twitter @31bits

Facebook 31 Bits

Website 31bits.com

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g lo b a l

Where in the World Is ...

Liberia

Awakening a compassionate heart and a global mind-set in children for people beyond the boundaries of their own neighborhoods.

Mauritania

Mali

Senegal

Burkina Faso Guinea Côte d’Ivoire

Sierra Leone

Liberia is situated on the West African coast, bordered by Sierra Leone to the northwest, Guinea to the north, and Côte d'Ivoire to the east. Liberia also has 186 miles of coastline on the Atlantic Ocean. Its land area is 43,000 square miles.

Ghana

Liberia

POPULATION 22,848,945

LANGUAGE English

RELIGION

Atlantic Ocean

NOW THAT WE KNOW THE LOCATION OF LIBERIA, LET’S MEET ITS PEOPLE.

Christianity 85.5% Muslim 12.2% Indigenous beliefs 0.05%

DID YOU KNOW ?

There are over 22 million people who call Liberia their home.

• The name Liberia is from the Latin word that means “free.”

Food favorites include cassava, fish, bananas, citrus fruit, plantains, coconut, okra, and sweet potatoes. Rice is also a staple of the Liberia diet.

• Sapo National Park, the second-largest tropical rainforest in West Africa, is located here. It has around 125 species of mammals. It is home to the rare pygmy hippopotamus.

If you went to church in Liberia you would most likely go to a Christian church.

• Liberia has 700 bird species including a bird that is a wee bit larger than a honey bee—the bee warbler.

To talk to your friends in Liberia you would speak English.

To understand how Thanksgiving arrived on the far side of the Atlantic, one must first understand the history of Liberia, the only country in Africa founded by United States colonization. Freed slaves established this rival lone-star republic in the early 1820s with the help of the American Colonization Society (a private organization that believed former slaves would find greater opportunities in Africa) and brought with them several traditions from home, including Thanksgiving. Settlers replaced traditional foods like turkey and pumpkins, both scarce in this part of the world, with items like roast chicken and mashed cassavas, both of which are served much spicier than their counterparts at a typical American feast. Beyond the fine foods, many Liberians observe Thanksgiving with a trip to church and a healthy dose of music, song, and dance. http://www.ibtimes.com/where-thanksgiving-celebrated-outside-us-1463668

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get up

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at home sit

ng the roa alo

Lie Down

At bedtime this month, sing this rhyme to the chorus of "Jesus Loves Me" to remind your little one that Jesus loves us, heals us, and guides us. Share with them that we can be thankful for all the ways that God is a part of our lives. These commandments that I give you today

are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit

Listen here when

at home and when you walk along the road,

viewing the enhanced

when you lie down and when you get up.

online issue at

Deuteronomy 6:6â&#x20AC;&#x201C;7

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Yes, You are loving, Yes, You will heal me, Yes, I am thankful, for You are guiding me. by Izzi Ray Izzi is a singer, songwriter, artist, and musician. Instagram @izziray

Twitter @izziray

Blog Izzi.Ray.com

Repetition is fundamental to almost any learning style, so when youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re teaching your children, use repetition!

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• Grace •

(6 t h

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resurrection and ascension into heaven, but we do know about Peter’s transformation. Peter would no longer deny Jesus. The book of Acts tells us that on the day of Pentecost, Peter did not fade away. He preached to thousands of men and women, and 3,000 came to know Jesus as their Lord.

Since becoming a Christian as a teenager, I have loved stories about Peter. I relate to his faith journey, and his foolishness makes me feel better about the ridiculous choices I continue to make. Peter lived with Jesus for three years; he heard sermons, saw miracles, confessed Jesus as Messiah, and walked on water, but Peter still disavowed Jesus. Despite being warned of what would unfold on the night Jesus was arrested, Peter denied Jesus three times. It seemed like nothing could prevent Peter from this failure.

Peter would never have become the man Jesus called him to be without first failing. In his brokenness, he found God’s grace. This same grace is able to redeem us out of our mess and make us new.

Just like Peter, there is nothing that will keep any of us from failing from time to time. On this side of eternity, sin is a part of our DNA, our human flaw. We all fall short, and our behaviors manifest the reality of sin’s entrapment.

Parents, during this month of thanks, may we be thankful not because things are going well with our middle schoolers; let us be thankful for a Savior who turns our messes as well as theirs into something beautiful. May we be thankful for our God who turns our ridiculous choices into avenues of transformational grace.

The beautiful thing about our God is that He does not let Peter’s story—or ours—end there. Luke recounts after the third denial, “The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter” (Luke 22:61).

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

The text does not tell us just how Jesus looked at Peter, but we know this caused Peter to leave the room in tears. It was within this mistake that Peter encountered Jesus in a way he had not previously, and he hit rock bottom.

(to discuss with your middle schooler) 1. How do you relate to Peter? 2. How did God’s grace transform Peter? 3. What did God reveal about Himself through Peter’s story?

This story should shift the way we think of negative behaviors. Rather than viewing Peter’s denial as a story about his failure, we should read it as a story of God’s grace. Through this story, we are invited to see brokenness as an opportunity to encounter God.

4. How can looking at failures as avenues of grace change the way you deal with loved ones' mistakes? by Steven Johnson

Paul’s beautiful words in 1 Corinthians 15 share about Peter’s next encounter with Jesus: “He [Jesus] was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Cephas [Peter], and then to the Twelve” (vv. 4–5).

Steven is the High School and Young Adult Director at Good Shepherd Lutheran Church in Irvine, CA. In 2009 he graduated with a Master of Divinity degree with a concentration in Youth, Family, and Culture from Fuller Theological Seminary. He speaks at local high school campuses and youth camps, writes freelance on youth and family ministry, and podcasts weekly at Youth, Family, Church Podcast. Steven lives in Santa Ana, CA with his wife where they enjoy relaxing at the beach, reading, art, and music.

Prior to this, Jesus’ final encounter with Peter was right after he denied him. Peter’s behavior did not keep Jesus away; instead, it moved Peter closer to God. Right after being resurrected, Jesus sought after Peter. Can you imagine this conversation? Does it remind you of conversations with someone you love?

Instagram @StevenJohnson82 Twitter @StevenJohnson82

We do not know much about Jesus and Peter’s interactions during the 40 days between Jesus’

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HOME | ABOUT ME | EVERYDAY MOM | EVERYDAY DAD A PATH TO HEALING | SALLY KIM

We have a unique family, my husband and I. Honestly, it’s hard to know where and how to begin, because our story alone could take up a thousand words, and that’s not the reason I’m writing today. So let me start with this: our story is long, complicated, messy, and beautiful. We have been married for a little over a year, have an adorable (I'm unashamedly biased …) baby girl named Scout, and a fost-adopted teenage son, who happens to be my biological brother (told you it was complicated). For the sake of anonymity, we’ll call him Buck. Buck’s been in my custody for three years now, and, praise the Lord, God brought me a husband in the second year of this story, to help carry some of the weight of curfews, driving, sneaking out, sneaking in, and just about every drama teens can bring into your house at any given moment. I’ll say it again: thank you, Jesus, for my husband. We’ve endured a lot of “normal” teenage behaviors and choices (bad grades, parties, you name it) and a lot of “normal” foster behaviors that just are a ripple effect of trauma he’s faced. Because of the uniqueness of our situation, we’ve sought a lot of help and counsel. For the sake of repetition, I’ll say it again, our story is unique, complicated, messy, and beautiful. I will never forget the day Buck came home from a scrimmage, started walking to his bedroom door, then turned around and came to mine. His breathing was heavy, his eyes were red and swollen, and he was cracking his knuckles … all symbols we’ve learned to recognize, through a lot of wise counsel, as he’s about to get vulnerable so stop and listen. Just listen. My husband wasn’t home yet from work; Buck was driving his car to and from the scrimmage. The baby was sleeping, and just two weeks old. Buck looked at me and said, "I got in a car accident." Now, my mind registered that he wasn’t bleeding, so my back shot straight, my eyes widened, and my mouth opened to say what you could imagine: "You did what!!?! WE CAN’T AFFORD THAT!”

BUT—praise be to God, my heart caught hold of his face. Before my mouth could say anything, I caught sight of a little boy, scared to pieces to tell us he messed up because he never knew what to expect from our birth mom. This was a big uh-oh, and his eyes told me that he knew he had messed up. So I stopped. I breathed. I let my heart call on God to lead, and I asked him if he was ok. "Yeah." 32

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I asked him what happened. And he shared. Every detail, he shared. This is a win in our books, guys. I threw my judgment to the curb, invited him to tell, and listened. I walked with him to the car and let him know he was going to have to tell Will (my husband). And affirmed, again, that I was so happy he was ok. When Will got home, Buck ran to the bathroom to hide and cry. My husband hadn’t even known about the accident yet, so you could imagine his surprise at our varsity-football-playing, sixteen-year-old “brother-son” as we’ve termed him, running and hiding. Buck came down and Will asked what happened. Will made no other comment than, "I’m really glad you’re ok." From there, we gained his trust that, no matter what, he has a home with us. No matter what, we’re committed to guiding and loving him. No matter what, we are unafraid of failures because we trust in a God who provides and conquers the world’s troubles. Because of the trust, we were able to explain the natural consequences of the issue—the damage to both cars was so significant, it nearly tripled our insurance. Buck needed to make a choice to either pay his own portion or be taken off completely, losing the privilege of driving until he could afford his own car. This was an opportunity for healing in our home. An often-complicated relationship was given a step toward connectedness and our gap toward restoration is getting smaller because of these instances. (He crashed my car just three months later … yup. That one took a few extra little breaths.)

We are given daily opportunities to show him his voice matters. No matter what he’s done, no matter what choices he’s made, we invite him to sit with us, share with us, and restore relationship with us. The times where his choices disappoint or directly impact us are the opportunities that have built our relationship up with him the most. Just as the Lord grants us relationship with Him in the moments that ache His heart the most, we are given the opportunity to step into our Buck’s experience, and love him by walking through it alongside him—not rescuing, not dismissing, not rejecting, but rather enduring and creating a path for him that leads, ultimately, to healing. In 2012, fresh out of college, and only 22 years old, Sally started her personal blog, Letters From a Mister (mom-sister), to invite people in on her journey of fostering her three younger brothers. Over the past three years, she's used her story to show people that heartbreak is okay, God is still in the hardest of places, and we belong in the trenches with the oppressed. She is currently the content manager for the Yellow Conference, a gathering for creative women to be equipped and inspired to change the world through everyday living. Blog lettersfromamister.tumblr.com Blog yellowconference.com/blog Instagram @misssallyrae 33

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HOME | ABOUT ME | EVERYDAY MOM | EVERYDAY DAD

INSTRUCTIONS FOR THE HOME | CHRIS STEENMEYER

As a parent, do you ever wonder why your kids don’t listen to you? Have you pondered why they don’t just obey you when you tell them to do something? You are not alone. There have been times when I have wondered this very thing. Recently I was spending some time in the book of Colossians. As I was reading through and studying I had a realization—chapter three of Colossians is all about relationships. As a parent, I have always wanted my kids to obey me. Verse 20 says, “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” Simple enough, right? But, you can’t read verse 20 without the following verse: “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” The realization for me was this—the obedience of my children in part has to do with me. Another version of verse 21 actually says, “Fathers, don’t aggravate your children. If you do, they will become discouraged and quit trying” (NLT). How often do I push my kids away or aggravate them into disobedience? Our children will lean toward disobedience when we don’t love them unconditionally. This very morning, I found myself nitpicking one of my kids about miscellaneous things. They were all habits or tendencies that annoy me. Five times I got on her about something as she was getting ready for school. The Holy Spirit convicted me and showed me how I was being overly critical of her. I called her to apologize as she was heading to school. We as parents oftentimes create an environment of disobedience based solely on how we treat our kids. Over the years I have learned a few things from my mistakes. These are all things that have aggravated my children to anger and disobedience. In fact, numbers two and three are ones I did just this morning. 34

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Here is my list of seven things we can do to embitter and discourage our children:

1. Not keeping our word. 2. Speaking harshly to them. 3. Being overly critical of them. 4. Not ever defining our expectations of them. 5. Not listening to them to understand their heart on a matter. 6. Changing the rules without explaining the why. 7. Not owning our mistakes as parents. This is in no way an exhaustive list. However, as a dad of six, I have found over the years that these things can push my kids away.

Relationships are circular in nature. If we love our kids unconditionally, then over time there is a willingness to obey us. We have the ability to change the culture in our home by simply living out Colossians 3:12–14: “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. “ May God transform the hearts of your children toward obedience as he transforms your hearts towards love. Chris and his wife, Sarah, have been married for three years and each brought three kids to their marriage. He works as the Family Life Pastor at Mountain Springs Church in Colorado Springs, CO. He is passionate about equipping kids to hear God’s voice.

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• Pain •

One day as we walked side-by-side, my daughter reached over and laced her fingers between mine. Looking at our interlocked hands in this physical moment of touch and trust, I knew God had corrected her path and provided her with healing. This time my tears were those of rejoicing. Our God heals.

She’s cutting ... It’s difficult to say these words to my husband, again. Just speaking the words aloud makes my spirit ache and releases a fresh outburst of tears reflecting my confusion, pain, fear, and worry. We have been down this path before. It was a season full of pain for our family, as our daughter struggled to articulate her thoughts and feelings, and self-harm became her silent one-sided conversation.

Flash forward three years. Our daughter has cut again. This time her mind is so conflicted, her throat so constricted, I watch her as she holds herself in a ball rocking and shaking because words won’t come. Satan is using anxiety to overwhelm her, to steal her voice, and to isolate her, even as I sit next to her, physically touching her, gently speaking to her, and praying over her. Satan has snared her body again with a blade.

We had cried out to God to give us strength for our feeble arms and weak knees because we knew the battle for our child’s identity, her story, and her healing would be hard. Satan’s whispers into her adolescent spirit had taken root and as the lies grew they stole her voice, her confidence, her relationships, and her family.

This time as parents we are more prepared. We know this season of pain is not forever. We know God’s power can build our daughter up again. As parents, we recognize God as our strength in our physical bodies, spiritual prayers, and emotional blunderings. This season will have an end. For now, we come alongside Him knowing His promise to fully heal the lame so they may not be disabled, but rather healed.

As parents, it was tremendously hard to watch our daughter suffer through the battle of cutting. We could not understand her internal conflicts. Most days, I wanted to grab and shake her. I wanted to scream at her to use her words, that she would never know how much more it hurt me to see her body marred. Counseling helped our daughter and us to address the marks that scarred her body. The silent secretive path Satan had taken her down with so many twists and turns mentally and physically were being made straight. God was restoring her storyline, her voice, her relationships, and her trust in His love.

The author of this article has chosen to remain anonymous to protect the identity of her daughter. For more information and ways to get help if your teen is cutting, visit: www.teenhelp.com/teen-health/cutting-stats-treatment.html

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m a r r i ag e

t e c r a r N a

• Chemistry •

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INTEGRITY IS KEEPING A COMMITMENT EVEN AFTER CIRCUMSTANCES HAVE CHANGED. —DAVID JEREMIAH

My wife and I are different in every way. I have a guilt-prone OCD nature; she does not. I spend way too much time and energy trying to please people. She lacks the people-pleasing gene. I define savings as money you put away for a rainy day. She defines savings as the difference between the actual price and the sale price. I like to sleep with the house set at 75 degrees with a light sheet covering us. She prefers 69.5 degrees and a thick comforter. She takes her coffee black. I need Coffee-mate.

The grind of life is difficult, brief, and at times painful. It doesn’t matter how much money you make, you can’t buy your way out of the grind. It doesn’t matter how smart you are, you can’t outsmart the grind. The grind hits us all. In the midst of the grind, Solomon reminds us to enjoy life and marriage: Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do. Always be clothed in white, and always anoint your head with oil. Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 9:7–9)

All of these differences make marriage fun. Changing one another is of no interest to us. We no longer strive for complete agreement on every issue and opinion. Instead, we’re deciding our way into enjoying life and marriage. Marriage is all about decisions. The unspoken message of our culture is, “Commitment and a divorce-proof marriage flows from character, but enjoyment flows from chemistry and compatibility.” Great marriages flow from character, not chemistry. In a thriving marriage, character trumps chemistry every time. Character fuels powerful decisions, which grow a healthy home.

Enjoying life and marriage has nothing to do with your education, finances, age, health, setbacks, or extended family members, but has everything to do with making powerful decisions. I don’t choose the length or struggle of my toilsome labor under the sun, but I do choose to honor, prioritize, and enjoy marriage with my wife. I love and enjoy my wife!

Stop trying to change one another in the pursuit of happiness. Instead of changing your spouse’s emotions, beliefs, opinions, personality, tastes, and decisions, what if you make the decision to enjoy life and your spouse? No matter how many challenges you face in life, decide to enjoy life and each other.

Ted Cunningham is a graduate of Liberty University and Dallas Theological Seminary whose previous books include Fun Loving You and Trophy Child. He has also co-authored four books with Dr. Gary Smalley. Cunningham founded Woodland Hills Family Church in Branson, MO, where he has ministered for more than 13 years. He and his wife Amy have two children.

In Psalm 90:10, Moses stated that life is a grind:

Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures; yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.

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s p i r i t ua l g r a n d pa r e n t i n g

LUKE 17:11–19 Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!” When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed. One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan. Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”

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• Leopards •

I get the privilege of attending church with two of my grandchildren. They have come to know that, as they enter the car for the drive home, they will be expected to answer the same question each week: “What did you learn about God today?” A couple of weeks ago my six-year-old granddaughter was stumped when I asked this all-too-familiar question. She said, “We learned about cheetahs. Wait … No! No! We learned about leopards. You know when Jesus healed the leopards and only one returned to thank Him!” After enjoying a quiet chuckle, I explained that it was actually “lepers” that Jesus healed, not leopards. We then talked about what leprosy is and what it meant to have this disease during the time Jesus was here on earth. Because leprosy was incurable by man, many believed God inflicted the curse of leprosy upon people for the sins they committed. In their minds, it was a form of course correction. In fact, those with leprosy were so despised and loathed that they were not allowed to live in community with their own people. Talk about a season of pain! This portion of Scripture made me think about my tendency to avoid hardships and difficult seasons even though they are often the catalyst for miracles. It’s interesting that all 10 lepers were healed but only one was made whole—he was saved spiritually as well as physically before setting back out on the corrected path. Another interesting fact about this story is that the men didn’t notice they were healed until they started walking. I often wait for my season of pain to go away before I start walking and thanking Jesus. However, the Lord says, "Start walking and thanking me and you will see that I am working!" As grandparents, this is a vital response for our children and grandchildren to witness. They need to see us thanking God even before we see the results of what we think the outcome should be. They must see us praising Him out of trust because He has always been trustworthy to lovingly correct our course and offer us a path of healing. Let's allow God to use our granchildren's candid questions as an opportunity to share His faithfulness—even if that means starting with explaining the difference between leopards and lepers! by Debbie Guinn

COURSE CORRECTION | homefrontmag.com

ENVIRONMENTS The order of the 10 Environments listed coincides with the monthly distribution of this resource.

“God has entrusted me with the things and people He created around me.”

Responsibility This environment captures the ability to take ownership for one’s life, gifts, and resources before God. A child must be challenged to take responsibility for his or her brothers and sisters in Christ, as well as for those who are spiritually lost. Our hope is that the Holy Spirit will use this environment to allow each child to understand that God has entrusted His world to us.

“Asks the question, ‘What needs to be done?’”

Serving This posture of the heart asks the question, “What needs to be done?” It allows the Holy Spirit to cultivate a sensitivity to others and focuses on a cause bigger than one individual life. It helps fulfill the mandate that as Christfollowers we are to view our lives as living sacrifices that we generously give away!

“God fills me with His love so I can give it away.”

“God has a big story and I can be a part of it!”

“God transforms me when I step out in faith.”

Out of the Comfort Zone As children and students are challenged to step out of their comfort zone from an early age, they learn to experience a dependence on the Holy Spirit to equip and strengthen them beyond their natural abilities and desires. We believe this environment will cultivate a generation that, instead of seeking comfort, seeks a radical life of faith in Christ.

Love&Respect Without love, our faith becomes futile. This environment recognizes that children need an environment of love and respect in order to be free to both receive and give God’s grace. Innate in this environment is the value that children are respected because they embody the image of God. We must speak to them not at them, and we must commit to an environment where love and acceptance are never withheld due to one’s behavior.

Storytelling The power of The Big God Story impacts our lives by giving us an accurate and awe-inspiring perspective into how God has been moving throughout history. It is the story of redemption, salvation, and hope and tells how I have been grafted into it by grace. It further compels us to see how God is using every person’s life and is creating a unique story that deserves to be told for God’s glory.

COURSE CORRECTION | homefrontmag.com

“I belong to God

“God knows me, and

and He loves me!”

I can know Him.”

Knowing Nothing could be more important than knowing and being known by God. We live in a world that denies absolute Truth and yet God’s Word offers just that. As we create an environment that upholds and displays God’s Truth, we give children a foundation based on knowing God, His Word, and a relationship with Him through Christ. God is holy, mighty, and awesome, yet He has chosen to make Himself known to us!

“When I get off track, God offers me a path of healing.”

“I see Christ in others, and they can see Him in me.”

“God’s family cares for each other and worships God together.”

Course Correction This environment flows out of Hebrews 12:11–13 and is the direct opposite of punishment. Instead, biblical discipline for a child encompasses: a season of pain, the building up in love, and a vision of a corrected path for the individual with the purpose of healing at its core.

Identity This environment highlights who we are in Christ. According to Ephesians 1, we have been chosen, adopted, redeemed, sealed, and given an inheritance in Christ … all of which we did nothing to earn. This conviction allows children to stand firm against the destructive counter identities the world will offer.

Faith Community God designed us to live in community and to experience Him in ways that can only happen in proximity to one another. The faith community serves to create an environment to equip and disciple parents, to celebrate God’s faithfulness, and to bring a richness of worship through tradition and rituals, which offer children an identity. Our love for each other reflects the love we have received from God.

IT IS OUR PRAYER THAT HOMES AND CHURCHES WOULD CREATE THESE ENVIRONMENTS FOR CHILDREN TO LIVE IN SO THEIR FAITH WILL GROW IN A COMMUNITY OF CONSISTENCY, COMMON LANGUAGE, AND PRACTICE. TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW THESE ENVIRONMENTS CAN IGNITE A TRANSFORMING FAITH IN YOUR FAMILY, WE SUGGEST YOU READ:

Modeling Biblical content needs a practical living expression in order for it to be spiritually impacting. This environment serves as a handson example of what it means for children to put their faith into action. Modeling puts flesh on faith and reminds us that others are watching to see if we live what we believe.

SPIRITUAL PARENTING: An Awakening for Today’s Families

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked “ESV” are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Copyright © 2000; 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division ofGood News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. COURSE CORRECTION | homefrontmag.com 43 Scripture quotations marked (NLT ) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189 USA. All rights reserved.

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