Homefront july 2016 by Christ Community Church

6 LOOKING FOR

22 LEARN ABOUT AN

30 IS THERE A WAR ON YOUR CHILD'S IDENTITY?

8-YEAR-OLD KING.

SOMETHING FUN TO DO THIS SUMMER?

IDENTITY | homefrontmag.com

We believe that the Holy Spirit is God’s chosen teacher. It is He who causes spiritual growth and formation when and as He chooses. As such, we have articulated 10 distinct environments to create in your home. We desire to create spiritual space, which we refer to as an environment, in which God’s Spirit can move freely. The environment of IDENTITY highlights who we are in Christ. According to Ephesians 1, we have been chosen, adopted, redeemed, sealed, and given an inheritance in Christ. This conviction allows children to stand firm against the destructive counter-identities the world offers. Our culture constantly feeds our families the lies of false identities. School, friends, TV, magazines, music, and so much more continually tell our children that who they are isn’t good enough, that they need to be someone different. As we attempt to spiritually raise our families and redeem what the world has tarnished, it’s essential to be rooted in truth. We have to affirm the Christlikeness we see in our children as they strive to stand against false identities. In a world that finds identity in shallow and fleeting things, only the truth of our identity in Christ can offer true meaning and purpose.

Michelle Anthony

CONTENTS FAMILY TIME Family Verse

Capturing the Season

Storytelling

Traditions

Conversation Starters

Create

Game Time

Family Time Recipe

Kids in the Kitchen

Worship

Prayer

God's Word

Tot Time Rhyme

Blessing

Taking Action

Global

Summer Stay-cation Chosen

Don't Mess with Me! King or Queen for the Day Keys to the Kingdom You Are Bingo Sandwiches Fit for a King Star Wands

Praise: A Royal Declaration

Bow Before the King King Josiah

Sit at Home

Family Ministry Architect | David C Cook Twitter @TruInspiration

Joni and Friends

United Kingdom

INSPIRE, EQUIP, SUPPORT

OUR MISSION

Student ID

Everyday Mom Blog

Everyday Dad Blog

Tough Topics

Marriage

Spiritual Grandparenting

War on Identity

INSPIRE parents with ideas to create fun, spiritually forming times in the normal rhythm of everyday life. EQUIP parents to become the spiritual leaders of God’s truth in their own households. SUPPORT families to engage their communities and change the culture around them.

Beyond Costumes

The Princess Complex

Faithful to the End

Creating "Double Identity" for Your Grandkids

A Case of Mistaken Identity

IDENTITY | homefrontmag.com

EDITOR'S NOTE But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-andday difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted. (1 Peter 2:9–10 The Message) Can you imagine if we truly grasped this? We are chosen by God. We are God’s instruments to do His work and speak for Him. Wow! It’s almost too much to take in. As parents, we have the privilege of transferring this truth to our children! We get to share with them that God is our King and He invites us into His royal family to partner with Him in His work on earth. Our hope is that this issue of HomeFront will be a great resource to you as you impart this truth to your children. This month’s GOD’S WORD (page 22) recounts the story of King Josiah from 2 Chronicles. Josiah became king when he was only eight years old. When he realized that his father and grandfather had turned their backs on God, Josiah made it his goal to become God’s instrument and tell others about Him. The EVERYDAY MOM BLOG (page 32) shares a story about a mom who realized her son was trying to identify with his peers for the wrong reasons. She took it as a wake-up call and began daily speaking truth to her children. She now uses every opportunity to remind them that they are God’s chosen ones. The world tries hard to discredit our identity as God’s holy people and offers our children a false understanding of who they are—in fact, the battle for their identity can be an all-out war like our STUDENT ID (page 30) explains this month. But with the help of the Holy Spirit and the faithful prayers of parents and grandparents, our children will have the power “to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.”

Debbie Guinn

Editor in Chief | David C Cook debbie@homefrontmag.com

WWW.HOMEFRONTMAG.COM Things you won't want to miss: • Parent blogs to inspire you • Mobile-friendly format • Lots of downloadable giveaways • Marketplace to purchase article bundles and more! The website is filled with fresh ideas and creative ways to provide you with even more resources as you spiritually parent your children.

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FAMILY VERSE Memorizing Scripture can be an incredible practice to engage in as a family. But words in and of themselves will not necessarily transform us; it is God’s Spirit in these words who transforms. We come to know God more when we’re willing to open our hearts and listen to His Holy Spirit through the words we memorize. Have fun with this verse, and think of creative ways to invite your family to open up to God as they commit the verse to memory. Consider purchasing an 8" x 10" frame to hold your family memory verse each month!

IDENTITY | homefrontmag.com

family time

c a p t u r i n g t h e s e as o n

You don’t need to travel to have a great vacation— make the most of your own backyard this summer with this easy outdoor Tic-Tac-Toe. Have fun recreating this classic game with your family's own identity twist on it. WHAT YOU’LL NEED • large wood board—at least 15" x 15" • 5 stones per family member • black paint • colored paint for each family member • paintbrushes WHAT YOU’LL DO 1.

Give 5 stones to each family member and instruct them to paint their 5 stones exactly the same with their favorite colors or designs. Encourage them to display their creativity!

Allow the stones to dry completely.

To make the game board, paint black lines on the wood board to create a three-bythree grid.

To play, players take turns placing their individualized stones on the game board spaces.

The player who succeeds in placing three of his stones in a horizontal, vertical, or diagonal row wins the game.

by Debbie Guinn Debbie is the Editor in Chief of HomeFront. She has more than 25 years of experience working in children’s and family ministries. She is passionate about equipping parents to become leaders of God’s truth in their own households. Her most cherished time is spent hanging out with her grandkids—they are her favorite people on this planet! Instagram @homefrontsp Twitter @homefrontsp 7

IDENTITY | homefrontmag.com

family time

sto ry t e l l i n g

Chosen

“There are just a few more papers to sign,” Miss Nelson said as she picked up the large brown file again. The grown-ups sat silently and read every page, writing on some of them. Izzy just knew the reason she’d never been chosen had to be in that file.

Izzy sat quietly on the big wooden chair in Miss Nelson’s office, swinging her tattered red sandals beneath her. She brushed back a few strands of hair, hoping her long, brown curls didn’t look too messy. Then she looked down at the faded yellow daisies of her almost-too-small cotton sundress. Using both hands, Izzy did her best to smooth out the wrinkles. Maybe they won’t notice, she thought nervously.

“It’s alright,” Izzy whispered, trying not to cry. “You don’t have to choose me.” “Oh, Izzy, of course we want you!” the lady said. “We’re your parents! And you are our princess.”

Izzy had known Miss Nelson for three years now, ever since Izzy’s first day at the orphanage. Since then, Izzy had met lots of boys and girls who had gotten to sit on the big wooden chair in Miss Nelson’s office. It was the place kids got to meet their new parents—the place they found out if they’d been chosen. Izzy had never sat in the big wooden chair. She had only dreamed about it.

“Princess?” Izzy asked. “Yes,” Izzy’s new daddy told her. “Princess.” Izzy looked up at him. “Do you know what we read in this file? We found out your real name.” Izzy was confused. Miss Nelson smiled as he continued, “Your real name is Isabella Antonia Sofia de Russo. I think it’s a royal name, the name of an Italian queen from long, long ago. I believe you come from a very royal family, Izzy.”

Miss Nelson stood by her desk, pulling papers from a large brown file. IZZY RUSSO was printed in big, bold letters. Izzy wished she could see those papers. She hoped they didn’t say anything bad. After a while, Miss Nelson closed the file. “Are you ready, Izzy?” she asked.

“And now you’re part of ours,” her new mommy told her. Izzy scooted off the wooden chair bursting with joy and hugged her new parents tight. Princess Izzy had finally been chosen.

“Yes, Miss Nelson,” Izzy answered politely. Then she scanned her rumpled dress and shabby red shoes. I wonder if they’ll like me, she thought.

PARENTS

Suddenly, there was a knock on the office door. In walked a lady with bright green eyes and pretty red hair. A man wearing a blue sweater and holding a stuffed teddy bear came in after her. They said hello to Miss Nelson and walked slowly toward the wooden chair.

Most of us know what it’s like to feel alone or unwanted. When your child goes through a time of rejection (ignored by a friend, not chosen for a team, excluded from a party) remind her that in Jesus we have already been chosen, adopted, redeemed, and given a place as children of the King. Because of His grace, we belong to the most royal family of all!

“Hello,” said the lady, kneeling in front of Izzy, “What a lovely dress you have on.” Her green eyes filled with tears. The man in the blue sweater bent down, too, gently holding out the bear. It had white fur and a nose stitched in the shape of a heart.

by Kathryn O'Brien Wife, mom, and award-winning children’s book author, Kathryn serves as an administrator for Stoneybrooke Christian School in Southern California. She is most grateful for family, fun, and the daily grace of a loving God.

“This is for you, Izzy. I hope you like it.” It was the softest teddy bear Izzy had ever held.

Website kathobrien.com Illustration by Dana Zimmerman, dlzimmerman.com

IDENTITY | homefrontmag.com

family time

traditions

One day I wrote a statement, based on Ephesians 1, that I thought might help my children to know and understand their true identity. I wanted each of them to be immersed in this truth so that they would know in their core who they were when they were tempted to make a decision that was incongruent. I personalized it for each of my children and I personalized it for myself as well. Mine reads, “My name is Michelle Anthony. I am the chosen and adopted daughter of the Most High King. I’m the heir to an eternal inheritance waiting for me in heaven. I have been bought and completely paid for by the perfect sacrifice of Christ’s own blood and am sealed throughout all eternity by God’s Holy Spirit. Don’t mess with me!” This is the confidence I wanted my kids to have! I wanted these words of truth to run through their heads: I’m a child, I’ve been bought, I’ve been chosen, I’m adopted, I’m an heir, and my sin has been completely paid for. All of these things scream freedom! I put this statement on the wall next to their beds, in their Bibles, in their lunches—so that they would remember who they were when the Enemy attempted to seduce them to believe otherwise. PARENTS Gather your family and read Ephesians 1 and 1 Peter 2:9–10. Then together, write a statement for each person in your family based on the Scripture you just read. Make it a tradition to find unique ways to display this statement and remind your family of this truth at opportune times. Excerpt from Spiritual Parenting by Dr. Michelle Anthony Michelle Anthony is the Family Ministries Architect at David C Cook. Michelle has graduate degrees in Christian education, theology, and leadership, and over 25 years of church ministry experience as a children’s and family pastor. She lives in Colorado Springs and loves a good book and a cup of coffee.

IDENTITY | homefrontmag.com

family time

co n v e r sat i o n sta r t e r s

King or Queen for the Day Even the youngest among us dream of the opportunity to have absolute power! Sometime this month, allow each family member to have a mealtime that is all about him or her. Allow the person to choose his favorite meal and encourage him to sit at the head of the table—you may even want to provide him with a crown. Then ask the following questions. Be sure to let him think for awhile before giving an answer. GET YOUR CHILDREN TALKING

• What would you do if you were King/Queen for a day and why? • Jesus is our King. What do you think He wants us to do and why? by Debbie Guinn

IDENTITY | homefrontmag.com

family time

c r e at e

Keys to the Kingdom In Matthew 16, Jesus asks His disciples what people are saying about His identity. Many in the ancient world are unsure about the Son of Man, but Peter boldly proclaims, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Jesus responds by speaking identity into Peter (v. 18), then says to all the disciples, and ultimately to future believers like us, “I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven” (v. 19). To believers, a key can symbolize our royal priesthood and the promise of eternal life in heaven with Jesus. King Jesus holds the keys of death and Hades (Revelation 1:18) and also our salvation (John 11:25). Make this key bracelet as a reminder that as a beloved son or daughter of the King, you hold the keys to the kingdom. Jesus broke the barriers between heaven and earth. WHAT YOU’LL NEED

WHAT YOU’LL DO

• leather cord

Cut two 12" pieces of leather cord.

• key (you can use an old key or purchase a faux key from a craft store—skeleton keys tend to work best)

Fold one cord in half and attach to one end of the key with a luggage knot.

Repeat with the other cord on the other end of the key.

Thread beads or add decorative knots if you like.

Tie each loose end to the rings on the lobster clasp.

Enjoy your royal priesthood reminder daily!

• jewelry clasp (lobster clasps are sturdier for leather) • beads (optional) by Kara Noel Lawson

Kara Noel is the blogger liaison for HomeFront. She is a homeschooling mom to four, a wanna-be farmer, and a freelance writer. Kara writes from the heart on her blog and speaks at moms' groups about how the small things in our lives can make a big impact. Blog smallthingsarebigthings.com Instagram @KaraNoelLawson Twitter @KaraNoelLawson

IDENTITY | homefrontmag.com

family time

game time

WHAT YOU’LL NEED

WHAT IF MY CHILD ISN’T A READER YET?

• small bowl

No problem! There are two options for the little ones who are not reading quite yet. You can partner them up with an adult or older child, or show them the word that was chosen and help them find the word on their card that looks the same. They’ll have fun trying to match the two!

• 16 bingo chips per person (other options: small candies, small rocks, coins) • scissors • Bingo Identity Words and Bingo Cards (download from dcc.is/identitybingo) BEFORE YOU START

REMEMBER!

Print out one Bingo Card for each player. Also print and cut out each Bingo Identity Word and place in the small bowl. Place bingo chips in piles of 16.

It can be easy to find ourselves caught up in all sorts of identities. Maybe it’s being the best on the volleyball team, our trumpet playing skills, or which friend group we are a part of. Remind your children that all of these things fall short of our true identity— our identity in Christ. We have been adopted into His family. In Him we are free, we are known, and we are loved on a deeper level than any friend or volleyball team can offer us. Consider taping these words to your refrigerator or somewhere your family can easily see. Allow these words to be a reminder to your family that you are children of the one true King and our identity is in Him alone!

TIME TO PLAY! Gather everyone around a table or in a circle on the floor. Each player gets one bingo card and a pile of bingo chips. Select an adult to be the first “Bingo Caller.” Explain to your family that today you are playing a special version of the game, Bingo! The words on their cards are all words that describe who they are in Christ. The Bingo Caller will pull a paper from the bowl and read the word out loud. But, in this game of bingo, instead of just saying the word, the Bingo Caller will insert it into this sentence: “You are ____________________.” For example, if the word, “worthy” is chosen, the Bingo Caller will say, “You are worthy.” The players will then place a bingo chip on the word that was called. The first person to connect a whole row together (vertical, horizontal, or diagonal), wins!

by Heather DePartee Heather is a newlywed and works as an instructional aide for kindergarten students in Fresno, CA. She spent three and a half years working on the Families team at ROCKHARBOR in Costa Mesa, CA, as an assistant to the Early Childhood Director, participating in the development of Tru Curriculum, and as an administrative assistant to the team.

IDENTITY | homefrontmag.com

family time

fa m i ly t i m e r e c i p e

Sandwiches Fit for a King Afternoon tea seems to be a daily ritual in many royal kingdoms. Have fun this month setting up tea and making Sandwiches Fit for a King. Remind your children that when they believe in Jesus, they become part of a royal bloodline—their identity changes!

ROYAL CHICKEN SALAD Prep Time: 20 minutes

THE QUEEN'S CUCUMBER SANDWICHES

Yields: 12 mini sandwhiches

Prep Time: 20 minutes

WHAT YOU’LL NEED • 2 chicken breasts (about 1 pound), cooked and shredded

Yields: 24 mini sandwiches

WHAT YOU’LL NEED • 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened

• 1/2 cup dried cranberries*

• ½1 cup mayonnaise

• 3/4 cup celery, chopped

• 1 (0.7 ounce) packaged dry Italian or ranch salad dressing mix

• 1/2 cup slivered almonds • 1 cup mayonnaise

• 2 medium cucumbers, sliced

• 1 tablespoon lemon juice

• 2 loaves white bread

• 12 mini croissants

WHAT YOU’LL DO

*Dried cranberries can also be replaced with apples or grapes.

In a medium bowl, mix together cream cheese, mayonnaise, and dressing mix.

Refrigerate for at least 6 hours, preferably overnight.

Cut the bread into 2.5" x 2.5" squares.

* For an easy metric conversion chart, search the Internet for “metric kitchen.”

WHAT YOU’LL DO 1.

Shred the cooked chicken breasts and put into a large bowl.

Add the cranberries, celery, and slivered almonds and toss together.

Spread the cream cheese mixture on the bread squares.

Add the mayonnaise and lemon juice and mix until well combined.

Sandwich each cucumber slice between two prepared bread squares. Enjoy!

Spread on your mini croissants and serve.

by Debbie Guinn 17

IDENTITY | homefrontmag.com

family time

k i d s i n t h e k i tc h e n

Star Wands

If you’ve never made cookie-pops, you are in for a treat! These cookie-pop Star Wands can help remind your children that they are sons and daughters of the Most High King. You can also decorate them to celebrate the Fourth of July! Use your favorite sugar cookie recipe, or use ours! Prep Time: 30 minutes Cook Time: 7–9 minutes Yields: 3 dozen 2.5" cookies WHAT YOU’LL NEED

WHAT YOU’LL DO

The trick to cookie pops is rolling out your cookie dough a little thicker than you usually do. 1.

Preheat oven to 400° F.

Cream together butter and powdered sugar.

Mix in egg and vanilla.

Blend in flour, baking powder, and salt.

Mix until the dough forms a ball.

Roll out 1/4" thick on floured surface and cut with starshaped cookie cutter.

Set cookies on a cookie sheet in the fridge for about 10 minutes. The chilled dough is easier to work with than soft dough.

Then, simply slide a lollipop stick into the bottom of the cookie shape, stopping about halfway up the cookie.

Arrange the cookie-pops on a cookie sheet and bake at 400° F for 7–9 minutes, until cookies are golden brown.

• 1 cup salted butter • 1 ½1/2 cup powdered sugar • 1 egg • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract or vanilla bean paste • 2¾ 3/4–3 cups flour

10. Cool completely before icing.

• 2 teaspoons baking powder • 1 teaspoon salt • 36 lollipop sticks

IDENTITY | homefrontmag.com

family time

wo r s h i p

God has called us to declare His praises, but we cannot do it from the shadows. In order to reflect His glory in all its splendor, we must first step into His illuminating presence and be clothed in the royal garments He has fashioned for us by His Word. No need to pretty yourself up before you enter His presence. Simply come and be clothed in royal robes embroidered with all that He says you are in Him.

For thousands of years, men and women alike have dreamed of becoming something more than what they are. Ancient stories are filled with princes from paupers and princesses from penniless servant girls. As easy as it might seem to dismiss this longing as the artistic whimsy of some long-lost era, if you ever spent even a few hours in the company of an imaginative young child, you would undoubtedly observe that this innate desire to be special has not dissipated over time. From our earliest days, we all want to be the chosen one. And in Christ, that is exactly who we are.

IN THE LIGHT SUPPLIES

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. (1 Peter 2:9)

• flashlight • old bedsheets or fabric (1 for each person) • fabric markers

Do you know who you are? Read these words again. Close your eyes, and let them sink deeper into what you believe about yourself. Do you see it? It is all right there, written in the King’s own hand. You are chosen. You are royalty. You are holy. You are special. Do you believe it?

• paper or plastic crowns (1 for each person) • worship music Each of us was called into the light to declare the praises of God. That is the reason He made us part of His royal family! Give each person a length of fabric (enough to make a robe) and a marker. Put on some worship music and spend some time listening to the Holy Spirit. Ask God to talk to each of you about who you are in Him. Design a royal robe, writing and/or drawing the things He brings to your mind. After everyone has finished their robes, let each person take a turn standing in the spotlight, singing the praises of God!

If you are struggling to come to terms with the reality of who you are in Christ, you are not alone. Many people who call Jesus their Lord have not yet fully embraced their identity in Him. Perhaps this is because they cannot understand why God would choose them in the first place. No matter what you believe about yourself, this passage makes it clear that God chose you for a specific purpose: “that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” Many of us have embraced a limited fictional view of our royal transformation. Like Cinderella, we stand hesitantly at the edge of our destiny considering how our background and appearance might impact our ability to get through the throne room doors. We hear the king calling us to the light of His presence but, lacking a way to change ourselves, we stay hidden and never step into all that He has for us.

by Kimberly Baltzley Kimberly is a wife and mom of three children. She serves as the Family Pastor at Grace North Church in Arizona where she oversees birth through college, parenting, and marriage for all campuses. Instagram @kimberlybaltzley Twitter @kbaltzley

IDENTITY | homefrontmag.com

family time

p r ay e r

Bow Before the King As a child growing up, I loved fairytales. There’s just something captivating about a damsel in distress, a knight in shining armor to ride in and defend her, and a powerful and wise king to help save the day and make everything right with the world. Something wired deep inside each of us longs to experience the reign of a good king—a king who uses his power to seek justice and to do mercy and to walk in humility. We long for this kind of king because we long to be in relationship with the one, true, great king: God.

What should our response be as we encounter this good and wise king? To bow, of course! Have you ever wondered why we bow our heads when we pray? We bow in respect and humility to the King. We never have to be afraid when we come before God because we are children of the King. But we do need to approach God in a way that communicates that He is holy and mighty. Throughout the month, spend time praying in a bowed posture. Try bowing low on the floor as your family prays or kneeling down on one knee as one might in front of a king. Every time your family prays, remind your children they are speaking to royalty and that we approach royalty—true, eternal royalty—in a humble position.

A beautiful picture of God’s majesty unfolds as one reads through the Psalms. We read of God’s splendor, His reign, and His glory. “For God is the King of all the earth; sing to him a psalm of praise.” Psalm 47:7 “Who is he, this King of glory? The Lord Almighty—he is the King of glory.” Psalm 24:10

by Krista Heinen

“The Lord reigns, he is robed in majesty; the Lord is robed in majesty and armed with strength ...” Psalm 93:1a

Krista is the NextGen Associate Pastor at Elmbrook Church in Brookfield, WI. She helps equip and support the families at Elmbrook through resources, events, and conversations.

“Praise the Lord, my soul. Lord my God, you are very great; you are clothed with splendor and majesty.” Psalm 104:1

Twitter @KristaHeinen

IDENTITY | homefrontmag.com

family time

g o d ' s wo r d

King Josiah child of God. And that is a similarity we can all embrace, no matter how young, or not-so-young, we are.

Have you ever found yourself reading the Bible and comparing yourself to the characters in the Bible stories? I was perusing 2 Chronicles the other day and I was struck by some similarities between my childhood and the early years of a lad named Josiah. Let me briefly explain.

HEAR IT Read 2 Chronicles 34 to yourself to familiarize yourself with the story of King Josiah. Then, either read it aloud to your family or retell it to them in your own words. Imagine and discuss the unique challenges, benefits, etc., of becoming a queen or king of an entire nation as a child. Ask questions to stir the imagination of your family. How would you, as a child of God, try to lead your nation back to following God? What would be the hardest part of being the ruler? What would be some fun things about being the queen or king?

When I was eight years old, I was the king of the neighborhood kickball field (the other kids were kindergarteners, but let’s not get distracted by details). When Josiah was eight, he was the king of Judah. Also, when I was eight, I spent hours commanding my army of G.I. Joe action figures. When Josiah was eight, he was commander of the army of Judah. Do you see the parallels? Unfortunately, the titles of “King” and “Commander in Chief” are where the similarities stop. Throughout my teenage years I was devoted to social survival. My daily goal, at least in junior high and high school, was to fly below the radar of the bullies while trying to convince myself and others that I was cool enough, funny enough, and talented enough to be liked and accepted.

DO IT Since you can’t go around your neighborhood with swords and hammers, breaking down all the Asherah poles, and destroying altars—encourage each family member to think about one thing she/he, as a beloved child of God, can do in the upcoming week to make your household or neighborhood a more beautiful, caring, safe, or loving place. This may be something overt, like telling someone about how Jesus has changed your life, or may be something more subtle, like forgiving the annoying person across the street and praying for her/him, or delivering flowers or food to someone who is hurting. You are God’s child and you can make a powerful difference in somebody’s life!

Josiah, on the other hand, did not spend his best energy trying to be popular and accepted by his peers. His sense of security, identity, and purpose seemed to come from the fact that he knew God loved him and called him His own. Therefore, Josiah spent much of his teenage years leading a fierce battle against idolatry that had become prevalent in his country during the reigns of his father and grandfather. Josiah sent his men all across the nation, ripping down idols and destroying items used in pagan worship. He was dedicated to turning the people’s hearts and worship back toward the one true God.

by Jason Kliewer Jason is a dad of two daughters and a community pastor at ROCKHARBOR in Costa Mesa, CA. He has a masters in biblical studies from Grace University in Omaha, NE.

Though his efforts produced mixed results, this inspiring young king let his words and actions flow out of who he was in God’s eyes. He was a beloved 23

IDENTITY | homefrontmag.com

family time

tot t i m e r h y m e ( ag e s 3 & u n d e r )

SIT AT HOME

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you SIT AT HOME and when you walk ALONG THE ROAD, when you LIE DOWN and when you GET UP. Deuteronomy 6:6–7

SIT AT HOME

ALONG THE ROAD

LIE DOWN

GET UP

This month, take every opportunity you have to share with your little one that he or she truly is a prince or princess. Share that God the King chose us specially to be His sons and daughters. Then have fun singing this rhyme to the tune of “The Wheels on the Bus” as a way to reinforce that truth!

This is my identity, He loves me, I'm royalty. Princesses and princes to God the King. by Izzi Ray Izzi is a singer, songwriter, artist, and musician. Blog Izzi.Ray.com

Instagram @izziray

Twitter @izziray

Get the audio recording of this song at dcc.is/julytottime Repetition is fundamental to almost any learning style, so when you’re teaching your children, use repetition! 24

IDENTITY | homefrontmag.com

family time

blessing

A BLESSING CAN BE A PRAYER OF COMMISSION, A BIBLE PASSAGE, OR WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT. BLESSINGS CAN BE SPOKEN OVER A CHILD FOR THE PURPOSE OF DECLARING GOD’S PROTECTION, JOY, AND WISDOM OVER HIM.

Your child is a son or daughter of the King of Kings. The God of the universe has adopted your child, and therefore your child has a royal inheritance. Royals do not earn their high status or position; it comes with the territory of being part of a specific family. Through Christ, we are brought into the family of God, and this is not something that should be taken lightly. As parents, you have been entrusted with the responsibility to care well for a child of the King, and to help her see and live in light of her true identity.

BLESS

READ

by Emily Schulz

This month, read Galatians 4:1–7 to your child. Explain to him that God loves him and has invited him to be part of His royal family.

Emily is the Director of Family Ministries at New Denver Church in Denver, CO. She is enjoying the newlywed life with her husband, Phil, and recently graduated with her MDiv from Denver Seminary.

Then, pray this blessing over your child, “[Insert child’s name], may you always know who you really are. You are not my child alone, but you belong to God. Your true identity is a child of the King of Kings, and as such, you are worthy of love and respect. You have been given a high calling, to represent God as His child, and to show the world who this King is, so that they might come to know Him as Father too.”

IDENTITY | homefrontmag.com

family time

ta k i n g ac t i o n

HISTORY Joni Eareckson Tada, the founder and Chief Executive Officer of Joni and Friends International Disability Center, is an international advocate for people with disabilities. A diving accident in 1967 left Joni Eareckson, then 17, a quadriplegic in a wheelchair, without the use of her hands. After two years of rehabilitation, she emerged with new skill and a fresh determination to help others in similar situations. During her rehabilitation, Joni spent long months learning how to paint with a brush between her teeth. Her high-detail fine art painting and prints are sought-after and collected. She founded Joni and Friends in 1979 to provide Christ-centered programs to special-needs families, as well as training to churches. Joni and Friends serves thousands of special-needs families through Family Retreat, and has delivered over 100,000 wheelchairs and Bibles to needy disabled persons in developing nations. Joniâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lifelong passion is to bring the Gospel to the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one billion people with disabilities. Joni survived stage 3 breast cancer in 2010, yet keeps a very active ministry schedule. She and her husband Ken were married in 1982 and reside in Calabasas, California. ABOUT Joni and Friends is built on biblical truth and the foundation of Jesus Christ. We are about advancing disability ministry and changing the church and communities around the world. The Joni and Friends International Disability Center (IDC) serves as the administrative center for ministries which provide outreach to thousands of families affected by disability around the globe. We invite you to browse our website to discover more ways you can be involved with our global outreach to the disability community! Joni and Friends is answering the call in the Gospel of Luke 14, "invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind and you will be blessed ... make them come in so my house will be full" [vv. 13, 23]. We present the clear and concise Gospel of Jesus Christ to all people affected by disability and their families who are served through our programs around the world. We train, disciple, and mentor people affected by disability to exercise their gifts of leadership and service in their churches and communities. We energize the church to move from lack of awareness to including disabled persons into the fabric of worship, fellowship, and outreach. 26

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ta k i n g ac t i o n

THE FOUR THINGS WE DO 1.

Evangelize people affected by disabilities and their families.

Train, disciple, and mentor people affected by disabilities.

Multiply disability-effective churches.

Promote a biblical worldview on disability through education and policy.

OUR MINISTRIES Wheels for the World: Sending the gift of mobility and the Gospel message worldwide. Family Retreats: Domestic and international retreats for families that live with disability. Television Series: Each episode highlights God's goodness in a world shattered by suffering. Radio Program: Joni Eareckson Tada shares encouragement and Biblical insights. Christian Institute on Disability: Higher education, ministry training, and Public Policy Center. Church Relations: Equipping churches for disability ministry. LEARN MORE joniandfriends.org response@joniandfriends.org

Excerpted from joniandfriends.org. Used with permission. 27

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g lo b a l

Awakening a compassionate heart and a global mind-set in children for people beyond the boundaries of their own neighborhoods.

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS ...

The United Kingdom?

The United Kingdom consists of a collection of islands which are located off the northwestern coast of Europe between the Atlantic Ocean and the North Sea. Its total area of 94,525 square miles is shared by four main territories. The largest is England, with an area of 50,337 square miles. To the west of England is Wales, and to England's north is Scotland. Northern Ireland occupies 5,452 square miles on the island of Ireland. England, Wales, and Scotland are collectively and commonly known as Great Britain.

Estonia Sweden

Russia

Scotland

Latvia

Northern Ireland

Lithuania

England

Ireland

Wales

Belarus

United Kingdom

Netherlands

Poland

Germany Belgium

Ukraine

Czech Rep.

QUICK STATS

POPULATION

65,064,901

LANGUAGE

ENGLISH

RELIGION

CHRISTIANITY 64% MUSLIM 5% HINDUS 1.4% NO RELIGION 28%

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g lo b a l NOW THAT WE KNOW THE LOCATION OF THE UNITED KINGDOM, LET’S MEET ITS PEOPLE.

If you lived in the United Kingdom you would most likely go to a Christian church.

There are over 65 million people who call the United Kingdom their home.

To talk to your friends in the United Kingdom you would speak English.

If you lived in the United Kingdom, you might eat fish and chips, which consists of fried battered fish and hot fried potatoes. It is a common take-away food. Another favorite is bangers and mash—also known as sausages and mash, a traditional British Isles dish made of mashed potatoes and sausages. Yorkshire pudding is an English dish made from batter consisting of eggs, flour, and milk or water. The dish is sometimes served with beef and gravy and is a staple of the traditional British Sunday roast. It may also be served as a dessert.

DID YOU

KNOW

• The famous stone London Bridge of “London Bridge is falling down” fame was eventually replaced by a stronger concrete version, and its original stones were taken to the United States and reassembled to make a bridge over a river in Lake Havasu, Arizona. • The queen of the United Kingdom (UK) is the legal owner of onesixth of the earth’s land surface. • In the UK, accents change noticeably about every 25 miles.

The British Royal Family is the family group of close relatives of the monarch of the United Kingdom. There is no strict legal or formal definition in the UK of who is or is not a member of the Royal Family, and different lists will include different people. However, those carrying the title Her or His Majesty (HM), or Her or His Royal Highness (HRH) are normally considered members. By this criterion, the Royal Family will usually include the monarch, the husband or wife of the monarch, the widows of previous monarchs, the children and male-line grandchildren of the monarch and previous monarchs, the children of the oldest son of the Prince of Wales, and the wives or widows of the monarch's and previous monarchs' sons and male-line grandsons. On September 9, 2015 Queen Elizabeth II became the longest-reigning UK monarch ever, surpassing Queen Victoria. Excerpted from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_Royal_Family

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st u d e n t i d (6 t h

8th grade)

War on Identity wise already. We are outta here!” How about saying to your teen, “No, you are not going.” And you stick to your words. No matter what.

One of the most challenging aspects of parenting young teens is keeping the truth of who they are in front of them, behind them, and in them. According to 1 Peter 2:9 the truth is this: they are chosen, sought by a King, and set apart for Him. You ask, “But what does this look like? And how do I help them care about this truth? Honestly, my kid doesn’t seem to care about those things.” In today’s culture, identity development may begin its best work at the point of telling teens who they are NOT. Here are three suggestions I believe can make a difference in the area of identity and the current war against it.

LOOK UP! This is a war zone. Identity breakdown is at the core of the Christian population meltdown. You will not find solutions in self-help books, more seminars, or a support group. Quite frankly, the enemy has waged a full-on war against our kids. Parents must stand in the gap and be empowered through Christ. Knees on the ground. Armor on. If you see something, say something. God is in control, but we are on constant call. Keep your eyes on the One who says, “You are chosen, royal, holy, and intended to shine my light” (see 1 Peter 2:9).

WAKE UP! Create boundaries in your teen’s life. The peer pressure cooker of social media and constant contact distorts our thinking. This thinking can breed a compulsion to believe and act on ideas based on looks, having things, or what other people say or don’t say. As an adult, I am overwhelmed with what my smartphone continuously offers me. I can be besties with someone in Australia, see every decorator’s layout, shop for vitamins, create a meme, tweet my latest opinion, and text vomit with a friend without ever leaving my end of the sofa. And all that’s before my second cup of coffee! Imagine what it can do to teens’ developing brains and hearts!

On your best day, your best idea may not get your teen to care. But do not grow weary in doing good (2 Thessalonians 3:13). Identity development may have to begin with, “No, this is NOT who you are. And today that means you are NOT going to that sleepover. You are NOT taking a phone to bed. You are NOT lazy. You are NOT a copycat." Acceptance of these realities helps us let things play out when the enemy wins a battle. We are not called to wage war with our kids, but we are designed to follow through with consequences. And remember that God has a divine appointment waiting for that wonderful human being we call a teenager. At that appointment, God will definitely let them know who they really are and who they are NOT. And they just might come home from that divine appointment (eventually) and say, “thank you for never giving up on the real me.”

BACKUP! Identity was stolen in the Garden of Eden. A liar named Satan slithered into a beautiful and untainted place and twisted Eve’s thinking into a distorted viewpoint that she just wasn’t quite enough and that God wanted her to be wise! She believed it and ate the forbidden fruit. Where was her backup? Adam was standing right there. He didn’t budge. He followed her lead. You are your kid’s lead. When your kids need a backup (not to be confused with a cover-up or a bail-out), back them up! It would have been nice if Adam would have said something like, “Eve, let’s go. You are plenty

by Roxanna Grimes Roxanna co-founded The Relationship Warehouse with her husband, Guy, in Costa Mesa, CA. She writes, travels, and speaks to women and girls about their value in Christ. She loves coffee, good books, and turning junk into beautiful. Website therelationshipwarehouse.com Blog Pearlology.blogspot.com 31

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A Case of Mistaken Identity Sarah Bourne

As human beings, we spend so much time in our own heads—our thought lives are full to the brim with repetitive notions. We’re full of worries, preoccupations, regrets, wishes, hopes, criticisms, and more. We are constantly defining our identities: Are we healthy and fit enough? A good enough parent? Spouse? A productive employee? Liked enough? And the list of self-doubts goes on … It’s quite consuming. So many things influence how we view ourselves … Take these socks from the “Bourne family bucket of socks without matches,” for example. You’ll notice that one sock is kind of “special”—it has a hand-drawn design on it, courtesy of my son and a permanent marker. And if you can imagine an eight-year-old creating it, you might recognize it to be one of the most famous sports brand symbols known. Yep, the most famous “swoosh” in the world. That’s what he was going for. But what broke my mama heart was when I discovered why my son was doing it. As I found him in that one sad moment before school, I learned that my little man wanted to identify with other children wearing brand names so badly, he was willing to draw that label on just so he could feel more like he belonged! It was awful to realize how desperate he was to “look the part” even at such a young age. Ugh. A serious case of mistaken identity. It’s funny, as God’s children, we have already trusted the Lord with the biggest thing there is: the saving work that only Jesus could do—a complete rescue from our sin-soaked hearts, so that we can one day have eternal life. 32

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Yet, when it comes to defining who we are, day to day, we usually claim that job for ourselves. We use alternative standards to measure who we are. We look to the approval of peers, our abilities in our jobs, our effectiveness as parents, our ability to “keep it all together”—we look everywhere BUT to Him. What does life look like when we don’t base it on being a child of God at all? Think about it—it’s not a pretty picture. We become isolated, without a holy identity, lost, more vulnerable to the enemy, without a place to belong, with only ourselves to focus on, seeking acceptance from other people. It’s a downward spiral— but we see it all the time don’t we?

Even though I know I am child of the One who made us His “very own possession” (1 Peter 2:9), I can easily fall into insecurity and I totally forget! So it’s no wonder so many exhaust themselves, constantly trying to figure out “who they are.” They really don’t know because they base their identity on things that are ever changing—appearance, social status, success, whoever they’re trying to be. What an insecure reality. So when I go back to that moment of catching my son in that desperate act, it was heartbreaking on one hand, but a powerful wake-up call for this mama on the other. With that wake-up call, I realized that I needed to be intentionally reminding my children, every day, who they belong to and how dearly they are loved by God, and their mom and dad. They need to hear, over and over, that their identity is not based on anything they do but on the One who already sealed them by His sacrifice. So since that day, I have said many-a-blessings over my three kiddos simply in the car (where they’re a captive audience in a seatbelt!) on the way to school. I’m so grateful we belong to a God who gently nudges us, waiting to redeem all of our weaknesses, one little holy appointment at a time. And whenever the picture of ourselves gets muddled in our heads again, we can always look to His Word for that sweet reminder … In His Kingdom, there is no earning our reputation, we simply are: His beloved, His people—a holy nation, made righteous by the power of of the cross. Our Father is the Alpha and Omega, Creator of the Universe. We are clothed in righteousness; more than conquerors, we are His own (deep sigh of relief). Sarah Bourne is God's kid, Don's wife, and Allie, Sam, and Emmy's momma. Her faves in life are singing, writing, drinking coffee, and sharing Jesus with itty bitty people and grown-up kids, too. 33

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Beyond Costumes Derick Zeulner

“Are you Luke Skywalker?” It’s not an odd question in our house, where costumes are king and one minute my oldest son, Hutch (5), will be in Peter Pan green and the next, he’s in a white karate suit holding a blue light saber. At the same time, Oakes (4) is dressed as Darth Vader, and Avonlea (2) is wearing an Iron Man glove, storm trooper helmet, and a bright green tutu. But as they go flying down the hall, and I ask the obvious question, I usually get the reply, “No, Dad, it’s me, Hutch!” Costumes are a powerful way to encourage imaginations and a fun way to think through what might be. In choosing a costume, kids think: “What powers would I like to have?” “What would I change about myself?” “What would make me special?” Growing up and out of costumes doesn’t really take those questions away. Instead of superpowers, it becomes a matter of friends, skills, or achievements. We weigh the different options of education, relationships, and careers still wondering: “What power will this give me?” “What change will add value?” “What will make me special?” As parents, we need to help our children navigate these questions, but how can we if we are still held captive to them ourselves? If I equate my identity to my success at work or how I compare to other dads, then all I can ever offer my kids is another costume change. And the thing about costumes is that they are sweaty, difficult to wash, and don’t actually change who you are. So what will? “WHO AM I?” When it comes to the superheroes of the Old Testament, Moses is right at the top. His name immediately brings to mind the power struggle with Pharaoh, plagues, and parting seas. But that is not the guy you have in Exodus 3. In chapter three, Moses isn’t a hero, but a failure, an outcast, and a fugitive. Yet this is the Moses God calls. In a less-than-impressive answer, Moses says, “Who am I?” He is no longer impressed with himself—not his resume, education, reputation, abilities, or faithfulness. In a way, Moses has reached the place that each of us needs to 34

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reach—tired of trading one costume for another and acknowledging that the real problem is within. Moses is correct in his admission of his insufficiency, but incorrect in his math. Our weaknesses are overcome by God’s power; our poor identity with the riches of His own. God is greater than any insufficiencies. This is the story of the gospel too. Rather than leave us to the judgment our insufficiencies and sinfulness deserve, God bends down through the incarnation of Jesus and shows us that God is not only all-sufficient in Himself, but that He will take care of our insufficiencies through Jesus’ perfection and payment for sin so that God might call us His children.

NAIL GUNS, SHEPHERD’S STAFFS, AND FATHER’S HANDS Sometimes when I’m working on a house project, my son will come join me with his toy tools and his “worker-man” costume. Recently, I was working with a nail gun and I saw a look in his eyes showing he simultaneously wanted to join and also knew this was a tool he couldn’t use. So I said, “Hutch, come help me make this headboard.” Puzzled, he responded, “How can I?” I handed him the nail gun and immediately I surrounded his hands with mine. I guided the nail gun into place and said, “Pull the trigger,” and he did. I moved it over to the new spot and said, “Again.” And we kept doing this, his hands in mine as I directed the work and carried the weight of the gun until we finished. Then he ran and yelled, “Mom! Look what we built!” At the end of Exodus 4, though Moses still doesn’t get it and is lost in his own insufficiency, God says to him, “… take in your hand this staff, with which you shall do the signs" (Exodus 4:17 ESV). And in the pages that follow, God places His hands around Moses’ hands, so that when Moses gets to Pharaoh, God can whisper, “Pull the trigger. Tell Pharaoh to let my people go.” We must point ourselves and our children to this wondrous truth—identity is not first about who we are, but about whose we are; for when we are God’s, our "who" is also changed. We don’t need a different costume; we need the Father. Derick is the Pastor of Communications at South Shores Church in Dana Point, CA. He is husband to Rebecca and the father of four, the last of whom Derick recently had the opportunity to “catch” in an unexpected home-birth. He loves to swim with his family, renovate his home, and “equip the saints for the work of ministry” (Ephesians 4:12 ESV). Blog ThatChristMayDwell.com Twitter @zeulner

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to u g h to p i c s

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to u g h to p i c s princess movement and the "over-princessed" aisles of the toy store?

There were layers of tulle in a myriad of colors, sparkles galore, and, of course, shoes and accessories to choose. With each dress slipped over her head, she gave a twirl and a smile into the mirror, and with each one I became teary watching this dream come true. Finally, she declared just one dress the winner and I had it wrapped up. Nope—not for a wedding. Not prom either. This long-awaited dress was the beginning of a phase in our home in which my daughter would learn a piece of her identity and also slip on an identity as simply as she did each dress. This was the day, just before her second birthday, when she chose her first princess costume. And, as a mom who had waited and longed for a daughter, it was emotional for me.

Human royalty in the Bible is a mixed bag. We can't simply avoid the worldly princesses and use the Bible as the guide in the princess fascination. Princesses in the pages of Scripture were at times deceitful, often occupied by their outward appearance, and rarely seen as leaders. Even Queen Esther, whose "happily ever after" included saving her people, was originally told to make herself look physically beautiful for the king. This is where I believe the problem lies. The anti-princess movement is not really anti-princess. It's anti-sin. What people in this movement hate about princesses is the idea that they are motivated by physical beauty alone, and that those physical standards are literally unreachable without the hand of a talented artist who can make perfect hair and makeup and body proportions that can only be photoshopped. In the only example of a world without sin we can look to, Adam and Eve lived without shame or concern about appearance. Eve was seen as a suitable helper to Adam, an ideal, a complementary partner rather than a swooning, helpless girl. The beautiful thing about our daughters' enchantment with princesses is in the purity of the ideal identity of a princess. True princesses are the daughters of the King! Children of God can embrace this beautiful identity that gives them power and bestows honor on their Heavenly Father, the Most High King. When my daughter became a bit of a "princess freak," she learned about an important piece of her identity. She understood that a princess has a special identity—she is a daughter of the Most High King. As my daughter would learn from Rapunzel (always her favorite), sometimes we lose our identity, but when we realize who God created us to be and embrace that identity, we receive power. In this way, we can understand what it means to be a chosen and adopted daughter of the Most High King—a princess! These beautifully drawn examples and powerful stories tangibly illustrate a deeper identity. Yes, she slips on the imaginary identity of a Disney princess as easily as that dress slipped over her head at age two, but she knows the deeper identity that will always be hers. She is a chosen daughter of the King.

Adley Wilson, almost 2 years old

A certain movement flares up every few years—the anti-princess movement. In 2010, it was likely a factor in Disney—chief marketer of all things princess— declaring they would no longer make "fairy tale" movies. They ended the fairy tale era with Tangled, even changing their marketing of the film to highlight the lead male character. Since then, they have released princess movies such as Brave and Frozen, each with a heroine who wears a ball gown as she fights for good to triumph. The effect of these movies and what is called the "princess complex" is much debated. Do these images of princesses and the way our girls idolize them breed entitlement and a focus on external appearance, or do they show leadership and femininity, and highlight the traits God intended for women to bring to society? How do Christian parents raise their daughters to know and understand her unique identity as a daughter of the most high King, while battling both the anti-

by Courtney Wilson Courtney is the Elementary Director at Christ Community Church in the suburbs of Chicago. You can usually find her chasing her four amazing kids around with coffee in one hand and a camera in the other. 37

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m a r r i ag e

Faithful to the End The first seven years of our marriage were very difficult. My heart grew dark on multiple occasions. I remember one occasion in particular because it marked a real turn in our marriage. I had said some very cruel things to Lauren that day. I was frustrated; I was angry. I thought she was selfish and self-absorbed, and I told her so. I admit with shame that I wanted to wound her. I was in the kitchen, and she was around the corner, sitting in a chair in the other room. I was being a terrible person, just hateful, and I threw some words out there that I knew would cut deep. I didn’t even regret that I said them; I wanted to hurt her. The venom came out of my mouth, and I was fuming. I’m not a yeller, but as some of you probably know, I do have a pretty loud voice, so I don’t often need to yell. I just put the words out there and hoped they really stung. I was in that kitchen acting like a big baby, clanging dishes around. I’ll never forget this; Lauren came around the corner. I was steeling myself for whatever she’d throw back at me and getting ready to fight back. But she just came up and grabbed me. Then she pulled me really close to her, and she began sobbing. She cried and cried and cried as she held me. She said, “I don’t know what happened to you, but I’m not going anywhere.” Those were maybe the most powerful words I’d heard up to that point in our relationship. I was at my absolute worst, and she had every earthly reason to say, “Forget this. Forget you. I’m done.” But she didn’t. “I’m not going anywhere.” Can you believe that? It broke me. It wounded me in the good way, in the right way. It startled me and helped me in a way I could never foresee or imagine. “I’m not going anywhere,” she said. And that’s when I said, “I’m going to get help.” Do you see? That’s ahava [Hebrew for love]. That kind of love isn’t, “Oh, he’s strong. He’s funny. I love the way he does this or that.” That kind of love is, “This is awful and it hurts a lot, but God is good and God is mighty, and by his power, I will endure and give grace.”

“I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE,” SHE SAID. AND THAT’S WHEN I SAID, “I’M GOING TO GET HELP.”

Ahava is faithful to the end because Christians are a people who lean into the covenant of grace. We’re people who say, “No, I won’t bail. I’ve given myself for better or for worse to this person.” It doesn’t mean we don’t get help. It doesn’t mean we stay in abusive situations. It just means we’re faithful to the covenant we entered into with God and our spouse. An excerpt from The Mingling of Souls by Matt Chandler Matt pastors The Village Church, a multi-campus church attended by more than 10,000 people. His sermons are regularly one of the top five podcasts on iTunes and his book, The Explicit Gospel, has sold over 135,000 copies. He lives in Dallas with his wife and three children.

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s p i r i t ua l g r a n d pa r e n t i n g UNMATCHED CLOSENESS

Tyler, Travis, and Tori had an uphill climb regarding their family identity. Their dad was adopted, and didn’t know his biological origin. As a result he struggled with his identity. His relationship with his adoptive parents was strained, and then both of them passed away while the three kids were just toddlers.

Developing deep relationships through “doing life together” is a critical part of creating family identity in both the church and at home. We have to laugh together, play together, and cry together to give our grandchildren a strong identity. That takes time and intentionality. How can you improve “doing life together” in your family?

Then their dad became emotionally uninvolved, and he drifted further out of their lives. A divorce followed. The three kids struggled with hurt and anger toward him and, frankly, didn’t want to have his name as theirs.

COMMON BONDS A shared interest, like camping or baseball, a family business, or ministering together—a common goal, or even a common pain or obstacle provides “glue” and gives identity. You’ve probably said it, and you’ve definitely heard it: “A family that prays together stays together.” Whether it is praying together, attending church together, or engaging in another spiritual activity, the operative word is together. In your family, how would you describe the “glue” that holds you together?

Tyler, Travis, and Tori are my daughter Andrea’s three children—my grandchildren. Their grandmother and I wanted them to get identity from us. We talked to them about being part of our family; while they didn’t bear our last name, they had our blood. We told them, “Being part of the ‘Fowler line’ is awesome!” We did what we could to create a strong sense of identity with our side of the family.

A FAMILY HISTORY The Word of God is “His story.” It not only binds together believers all over the world, but also gives us a sense of identity. In the same way, our family history helps our grandkids know who they are. Passing on our family stories (even if our history includes some horse thieves and thugs) can help our grandkids “belong.” In fact, a few “horse thief stories” will let children know they will still have family identity when they fail—and they will. Are you intentionally passing on your family history?

All kids need identity, don’t they? If they don’t find it in their family (the best scenario), they will create their own—in a group of their peers, or in unwise relationships. And as believers, we want our grandchildren to have double identity: as part of our family, and as part of God’s family. If you’re a grandparent, don’t you want the same for your grandchildren? So what establishes family identity? (Think both of your family and your local church.) Here are five elements:

About Tyler, Travis, and Tori: They now have a new last name and a new family identity. Their mom eventually remarried, and their new dad, Paul, has become the father they never had. He has adopted them, loved them, guided them spiritually, and given them his name. Now they carry his identity. And more important: Their identity as Christ-followers is set as well. Double identity. They’ve got it, and we are thrilled!

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE In our families, we need to not only love one another deeply, but we also need to express love to one another regularly. We’re all pretty unlovable at times, but we hope our families will continue to love us no matter what! That is what families do—or ought to do. In your family, how are you doing at expressing unconditional love?

by Larry Fowler After 40 years of children's ministry, Larry Fowler has followed God's call on his life to found the Legacy Coalition, a brandnew ministry of national ministry leaders who are focused on envisioning and equipping Christian grandparents. He is looking forward to leading the first ever national conference on Christian grandparenting!

INCREDIBLE GRACE Let’s face it: it’s often much easer to show grace to a stranger than it is to a family member. After all, families know one another, warts and all. But forgiveness (grace) bonds us together because we all fail each other at times. Do you need to extend grace to a family member?

grandparentingmatters.org legacygrandparentingsummit.com.

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ENVIRONMENTS The order of the 10 Environments listed coincides with the monthly distribution of this resource.

“God has entrusted me with the things and people He created around me.”

“Asks the question, ‘What needs to be done?’”

Serving This posture of the heart asks the question, “What needs to be done?” It allows the Holy Spirit to cultivate a sensitivity to others and focuses on a cause bigger than one individual life. It helps fulfill the mandate that as Christ-followers we are to view our lives as living sacrifices that we generously give away!

Responsibility This environment captures the ability to take ownership for one’s life, gifts, and resources before God. A child must be challenged to take responsibility for his or her brothers and sisters in Christ, as well as for those who are spiritually lost. Our hope is that the Holy Spirit will use this environment to allow each child to understand that God has entrusted His world to us.

“God fills me with His love so I can give it away.”

“God has a big story, and I can be a part of it!”

“God transforms me when I step out in faith.”

Out of the Comfort Zone As children and students are challenged to step out of their comfort zone from an early age, they learn to experience a dependence on the Holy Spirit to equip and strengthen them beyond their natural abilities and desires. We believe this environment will cultivate a generation that, instead of seeking comfort, seeks a radical life of faith in Christ.

Love&Respect Without love, our faith becomes futile. This environment recognizes that children need an environment of love and respect in order to be free to both receive and give God’s grace. Innate to this environment is the value that children are respected because they embody the image of God. We must speak to them, not at them, and we must commit to an environment where love and acceptance are never withheld due to one’s behavior.

Storytelling The power of The Big God Story impacts our lives by giving us an accurate and awe-inspiring perspective into how God has been moving throughout history. It is the story of redemption, salvation, and hope and tells how I have been grafted into it by grace. It further compels us to see how God is using every person’s life and is creating a unique story that deserves to be told for God’s glory.

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“I belong to God, and He loves me!”

“God knows me, and I can know Him.”

Knowing Nothing could be more important than knowing and being known by God. We live in a world that denies absolute truth, and yet God’s Word offers just that. As we create an environment that upholds and displays God’s truth, we give children a foundation based on knowing God, knowing His Word, and a relationship with Him through Christ. God is holy, mighty, and awesome, and yet He has chosen to make Himself known to us!

“When I get off track, God offers me a path of healing.”

“I see Christ in others, and they can see Him in me.”

“God’s family cares for each other and worships God together.”

Course Correction This environment flows out of Hebrews 12:11–13 and is the direct opposite of punishment. Instead, biblical discipline for a child encompasses a season of pain, the building up in love, and a vision of a corrected path for the individual with the purpose of healing at its core.

Identity This environment highlights who we are in Christ. According to Ephesians 1, we have been chosen, adopted, redeemed, sealed, and given an inheritance in Christ … all of which we did nothing to earn. This conviction allows children to stand firm against the destructive counter-identities the world will offer.

Faith Community God designed us to live in community and to experience Him in ways that can only happen in proximity to one another. The faith community serves to create an environment to equip and disciple parents, to celebrate God’s faithfulness, and to bring a richness of worship through tradition and rituals, which offer children an identity. Our love for each other reflects the love we have received from God.

IT IS OUR PRAYER THAT HOMES AND CHURCHES WOULD CREATE THESE ENVIRONMENTS FOR CHILDREN TO LIVE IN SO THEIR FAITH WILL GROW IN A COMMUNITY OF CONSISTENCY, COMMON LANGUAGE, AND PRACTICE. TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW THESE ENVIRONMENTS CAN IGNITE A TRANSFORMING FAITH IN YOUR FAMILY, WE SUGGEST YOU READ:

Modeling Biblical content needs a practical living expression in order for it to be spiritually impacting. This environment serves as a hands-on example of what it means for children to put their faith into action. Modeling puts flesh on faith and reminds us that others are watching to see if we live what we believe.

SPIRITUAL PARENTING: An Awakening for Today’s Families

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. IDENTITY | homefrontmag.com 43 When noted, Scripture quotations are from THE MESSAGE. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

We’re all so busy that it’s easy to pass by those around us. But every person that has a need that we can empathize with, good that we can affirm, and an invitation into the incredible family of God. Inviting others to faith requires leaning into your own story, overcoming fear, and stepping out. But the good news is for everyone, always, and you’re invited to help keep it going. This Invitational Life shows each of us that only through risking it all will we discover God’s true heartbeat for humanity.

Steve Carter is a teaching pastor for Willow Creek Community Church. He is a founding member of both Rock Harbor Fullerton Church and Solidarity.

Available August 2016

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