October 2016 by Christ Community Church

OCTOBER 2016

a spiritual parenting resource

homefrontmag.com

MODELING

GETTING STARTED

12 LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE!

22 ARE YOU STRUGGLING WITH SELF-CONTROL?

25 A LIFE-CHANGING BLESSING.

We believe that the Holy Spirit is God’s chosen teacher. It is He who causes spiritual growth and formation when and as He chooses. As such, we have articulated 10 distinct environments to create in your home. We desire to create spiritual space, which we refer to as an environment, in which God’s Spirit can move freely. Ephesians 5:1 (ESV) says, “Be imitators of God, as beloved children.” We know that children love to imitate, so what do we as parents want them to imitate? As a parent, one of my deepest desires is for my kids to imitate God’s truth. The environment of MODELING, then, becomes an expression of that. We become living representatives of what that truth means. We are people who have experienced God’s love through Christ and God’s forgiveness in the model of Christ. Christ was and is our living example. The environment of MODELING serves as a hands-on example of what it means for all of us to put our faith into action. This month, as you model for your family what it looks like to live out a compelling and authentic faith, our prayer is that your first-hand experience of God’s truth and love would be on display for others.

CONTENTS FAMILY TIME Family Verse

Capturing the Season

Storytelling

Worship

Conversation Starters

Create

Game Time

Family Time Recipe

Kids in the Kitchen

Prayer

God's Word

Tot Time Rhyme

Blessing

Taking Action

Global

Wooden Pumpkins

Gentle Care

Perfect Love

Clinging to Peace

Be the Light Waiting for My Turn Bacon and Egg Cups

Fruit Cones

Praying for Fruit Listening for God's Voice Get Up

Michelle Anthony

Executive Pastor: Parenting, Junior High, and Children | New Life Church Family Ministry Ambassador | David C Cook T witter @TruInspiration

The Exodus Road

New Zealand

INSPIRE, EQUIP, SUPPORT

OUR MISSION

Student ID

Everyday Mom Blog

Everyday Dad Blog

Tough Topics

Marriage

Spiritual Grandparenting

Special Feature

Book Spotlight

Modeling Love

INSPIRE parents with ideas to create fun, spiritually forming times in the normal rhythm of everyday life. EQUIP parents to become the spiritual leaders of God’s truth in their own households. SUPPORT families to engage their communities and change the culture around them.

Harvest of Goodness

Through Her Little Eyes Choosing Joy

The Great Faithfulness of God

Filled with Joy

Design and layout by Stephanie Reindel | stephanie@homefrontmag.com

What I Wish You Would Do

Cover photo by Ashley Wonderly | awonderlyphotography.com Backdrops & Woodwork by Reclaimed Projects | Facebook: ReclaimedProjectsTX

Speak Life

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EDITOR'S NOTE As we began to brainstorm living in the environment of MODELING, we asked our team, “What does love look like?” That felt like an appropriate question, since our summary statement for this environment is, “I see Christ in others, and they can see Him in me.” After all, if we are going to see Christ in each other, it will most certainly be by the way we show love—right? But one of our wise writers reminded us that the sign of a Christ-follower is really found when we bear the fruit of God’s Spirit, as detailed in Galatians 5:22–23. Love leads the list, but not to the exclusion of joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. This month’s issue of HomeFront is brimming with fresh ways to offer your fruit to nourish others and invite them to see Christ in the life of your family. This can only be done by the power of God’s Spirit—no amount of trying harder on your part can produce lasting fruit. From our GAME TIME (page 14) which focuses on patience, to our TOUGH TOPICS (page 36) about choosing joy, you will be inspired with new ideas. Our EVERYDAY DAD BLOG (page 34) shares about a sobering moment for one dad as he looked at a photo of his one-year-old daughter. We also have a SPECIAL FEATURE this month from Courtney Westlake as she shares, "What I Wish You Would Do" (page 42), reflecting on how our children react to other children or adults with disabilities. We are thrilled to include the introduction to Brady Boyd’s newest book, Speak Life in our BOOK SPOTLIGHT (page 44). This life-changing book about the importance of the words we speak is a must-read for every parent. Once again, we are grateful that you invite HomeFront into your lives. It's an honor we do not take lightly!

Debbie Guinn

Editor in Chief | New Life Church dguinn@newlifechurch.org

WWW.HOMEFRONTMAG.COM Things you won't want to miss: • Parent blogs to inspire you • Mobile-friendly format • Lots of downloadable giveaways • Marketplace to purchase article bundles and more! The website is filled with fresh ideas and creative resources to help you spiritually parent your children.

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FAMILY VERSE Memorizing Scripture can be an incredible practice to engage in as a family. But words in and of themselves will not necessarily transform us; it is God’s Spirit in these words who transforms. We come to know God more when we’re willing to open our hearts and listen to His Holy Spirit through the words we memorize. Have fun with this verse, and think of creative ways to invite your family to open up to God as they commit the verse to memory. Consider purchasing an 8" x 10" frame to hold your family memory verse each month!

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family time

c a p t u r i n g t h e s e as o n

WOODEN PUMPKINS In a season filled with spooky décor, these pumpkins will be a welcome change for your mantel, entryway, or even arranged on your party table. Allow these beautiful wooden pumpkins to serve as a reminder of the fruit we can model to others when we are filled with God’s Holy Spirit. WHAT YOU'LL NEED

WHAT YOU’LL DO 1.

Paint your three round slices of wood with the orange acrylic paint.

While they are drying, use the saw to cut the thick twigs or balsa wood sticks to desired length to make pumpkin stems.

If using the balsa wood sticks, paint them with brown acrylic paint.

• wire cutters

• balsa wood sticks or thick twigs to create pumpkin stems

Using the glue gun, attach the balsa sticks or large twigs to the back of the wood slice.

Cut a length of coiled floral wire and wrap around the “stems.”

Curl wire by wrapping it around your finger or a pencil.

Using stencils or a marker, decorate the pumpkin by listing the fruits of the Spirit: Love – Joy – Peace – Patience – Kindness – Goodness – Faithfulness – Gentleness – Self Control.

• 3 round slices of wood in different sizes—purchase at any craft store • orange, brown, and black acrylic paint • coiled floral wire

• paintbrush • alphabet stencils or black permanent marker • hot glue gun and glue sticks • saw by Debbie Guinn

Debbie is the Editor in Chief of HomeFront. She has more than 25 years of experience working in children’s and family ministries. She is passionate about equipping parents to become leaders of God’s truth in their own households. Her most cherished time is spent hanging out with her grandkids—they are her favorite people on this planet! Instagram @homefrontsp Twitter @homefrontsp

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family time

sto ry t e l l i n g

GENTLE CARE window in the garage. He perched on the windowsill, as if he was waiting for Trisha to return to say goodbye. Then, all of a sudden, the bird flew out of the window. He was gone! Her friend had finally gained the strength he needed to fly away. Trisha's gentle, loving care had allowed the bird to get strong enough to fly away on his own.

Trisha walked into her garage and heard a strange noise. She followed the muffled sound to a rug that was rolled up on the side of the garage. Peep! Peep! The noise she heard sounded like a distress call. Quickly, she unrolled the rug and saw that a tiny hummingbird was caught inside. “You poor thing!” said Trisha to the bird, who was lying still inside the rug. “Come on, little bird,” Trisha coaxed, watching to see if the bird would move or attempt to fly away. It didn’t. She thought quickly. The bird could’ve been trapped there for days and was probably dying of thirst. Trisha ran inside her house, grabbed a small, shallow bowl, and filled it with water. Carefully, she picked up the bird with tender fingers and lifted its beak to the water, hoping he would muster the strength to drink. The bird didn’t drink, so she put him back down on the rug to rest. “How can I feed this little bird?” she thought to herself. Her mind quickly went to her brother, Steve, who was just a baby and too young to drink on his own. Steve drank out of a bottle. Well, Trisha didn’t have a bird-sized bottle, but she looked through her house and found a small eyedropper that her mom used to give the kids medicine when they were sick. “This should work,” Trisha said to herself. She filled the eye-dropper with water and gently put it up to the bird’s mouth. To her relief, the little sick hummingbird swallowed a sip of water—then, another and another. After the bird had drunk his fill, Trisha found a small shoebox from her house and filled it with soft rags. Carefully, she lifted the bird into the box and made him as comfortable as possible for the night.

PARENTS We live in a world full of wounded and broken people. Undoubtedly, your children will both witness and experience brokenness on their life journeys. When Jesus came across hurting people, He always responded with gentleness and compassion. What a model for us and our children! Philippians 4:5 says, “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” When we follow Jesus’ example of handling others with gentleness, they have the opportunity to experience God's love and nearness. SOMETHING MORE Discuss the following questions with your children: • What do you think would have happened if Trisha did not treat the hummingbird with gentleness? • What does gentleness look like in your life? • Do you think people would describe you as gentle? Why or why not? • How have you experienced God’s gentleness in your life?

As soon as Trisha woke up the next morning, she rushed to the garage to check on her bird. He was still there, in the small box, chirping louder than ever. Once again, she filled the eye-dropper, and gently fed water to her sweet bird. She noticed that this time, the bird seemed a bit thirstier and was able to drink more. Several days went by, and the bird became stronger. Trisha no longer had to feed the bird with the eyedropper, but now filled a small bowl with water for her feathery friend.

• When are times you might need to show gentleness to others? by Rae Lynn Lott Rae Lynn is a part-time freelance writer and a full-time domestic queen. After years of working and volunteering in youth and family ministries, she was promoted to the position of full-time mom. Rae Lynn lives in southern California with her husband, Chris, and two children, Emmersyn and Hunter. She enjoys snow skiing, San Diego beaches, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, carpool karaoke, and reading a good book. She is also passionate about spiritual parenting and teaching her children what it means to know and follow Jesus.

Then, one day when Trisha came home from school and went to check on her bird, he was no longer in his little shoebox! She quickly scanned the garage and noticed that the hummingbird had flown to an open Illustration by Dana Zimmerman, dlzimmerman.com

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family time

wo r s h i p

PERFECT LOVE Love is a word we use so often. I sometimes wonder if my kids really understand what it is and where it comes from. On any given day, my boys will talk about the many things they love—their friends, the new Star Wars toy, a TV show, or even a meal.

Before you gather your family, write Bible verses about God’s love on some 8.5" x 11" sheets of paper (one for each verse). Cut around the verses to create heart shapes. As your family gathers, ask each family member to choose a heart to read aloud. Help younger family members read their verses. Talk about each verse with your family.

As we spend this month in the environment of modeling, I can’t help but think about the neverending, unfailing love of the Father. The love God models isn’t something we can conjure up on our own, but is something He gives to us so we can, in turn, give it away to others. I know that for me, when I open myself up to receive love from God, it causes me to love Him even more! As we think about modeling love for our children, let’s give them a chance to focus on God’s great love for them, and then worship together out of a deeper understanding of what true love is.

SOME QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER: • How does this make you feel? • What does this verse tell us about God’s love? • When was a time that you felt God’s love? • When have you seen others sharing God’s love with you or someone else? As you talk, affirm your kids' feelings, and be open and honest about your own feelings. Our stories and experiences can help our children to experience God. Whether it’s by modeling your own love for God, or modeling what it looks and feels like to receive God’s love, your children will benefit from your story.

WHAT YOU’LL NEED • 4 sheets of paper • scissors • pen

Close your time by turning on a worship song about God’s love—don’t hesitate to ask your children for a suggestion of their favorite song! Enjoy a time together letting God know how much you love Him and how thankful you are that He loves us.

• Bible verses: —— “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 ESV —— “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.” 1 John 3:1a ESV

by Angelina Pavone Angelina Pavone is the Early Childhood Director at ROCKHARBOR Church in Costa Mesa, CA. She loves being a wife and a mama to her two boys as well as serving the families in her ministry.

—— “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 ESV —— “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

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family time

co n v e r sat i o n sta r t e r s

CLINGING TO PEACE “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” – John 14:27 If you are anything like me, you read this verse and think, "I need to cling to these words!" But something I’ve learned recently is that these are words our children need to cling to as well. Every year I work with hundreds of children, and over the past 10 years I’ve noticed more and more kids struggling with worry and anxiety. Unchecked worry in kids can have serious consequences, so make sure you regularly check in with your family about the worries they face. Remind them that we can rely on the Holy Spirit in anxious times to give us His peace.

GET YOUR CHILDREN TALKING: • What are some things you are worried about? • Read John 14:27. These are Jesus' own words. What does He mean when He says He gives us peace? • When have you experienced the peace of Jesus? • When you see your friends worry, what can you do to help them understand the peace that Jesus gives us? • What are some ways that you can model peace to others? by Krista Heinen Krista is the NextGen Associate Pastor at Elmbrook Church in Brookfield, WI. Krista helps equip and support the families at Elmbrook through resources, events, and conversations. Twitter @KristaHeinen

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family time

c r e at e

BE THE LIGHT BE A PINEAPPLE—STAND TALL, WEAR A CROWN, AND BE SWEET ON THE INSIDE!

This month, as you create these pineapple lights with your family, discuss the importance of being a light to others. Share with them that people are drawn to God when they see the evidence of His Holy Spirit in our lives. We do not shine brightly in our own strength; rather our dependence on God allows His Spirit to light our lamps and keep them burning! WHAT YOU’LL NEED

WHAT YOU’LL DO

• Mason jars in various sizes (1 per family member)

Cut tissue paper into small pieces.

• yellow tissue paper

Use Mod Podge to adhere tissue, covering Mason jar. Allow to dry.

Add details with black paint.

Cut leaves from felt and use the hot glue gun to glue pipe cleaners inside each leaf to make the leaves stand tall.

• green felt (2 sheets per family member)

Glue leaves to the lid of the Mason jar.

• pipe cleaners (3 per family member)

Paint lid green.

• glue gun with glue sticks

Insert battery-operated tea light.

• battery-operated tea lights (1 per family member)

Place lid on jar and let your light shine!

• Mod Podge • black and green acrylic craft paint • paintbrushes • scissors

by Debbie Guinn

DOWNLOAD A FREE DESIGNED PRINTABLE AT

bit.ly/HomefrontBeAPineapple 13

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family time

game time

WAITING FOR MY TURN WHAT YOU’LL NEED

as “the other team.” Or you can have two kids on a team together, while the parent is on his own team. It is most important for the child(ren) to be on a team with multiple members so they can experience waiting for their partner to finish stacking.

• at least 40 blocks (the smaller the better; they can be different sizes) • masking tape

If you are a family of two, snag a timer and make this a race against the clock! You and your child will take turns stacking your blocks before time runs out!

BEFORE YOU START Clear out an open space in your home and, using the masking tape, place two starting lines on the floor, four or five feet apart. Separate the blocks into two equal piles and place each pile an appropriate distance away from its starting line, depending on the size of your room. The distance is not crucial, but keeping the blocks further away will add an extra layer to the game.

REMEMBER Have you ever been so excited for Christmas or your birthday to roll around that it seemed like time inched by? Maybe your kids have experienced this as well. Or maybe playing this game got them itching for the seconds to fly by faster as they waited for their teammate to stack the blocks.

TIME TO PLAY!

Remind your children that waiting can be hard, especially when something exciting is happening. Similar to this game, there will be many times in life when you eagerly wait. Maybe you want to take your turn at something, maybe you are looking forward to a trip, or maybe something is really bugging you and you just don’t think you can take it anymore. No matter the situation, God asks us to be patient; it is one of the many fruits of the Spirit.

Split your family up into two teams and designate a starting line for each. Explain to your family that this is similar to a relay race and the fastest team will win. When you say, “Go,” the first player on each team will run up to the pile of blocks and stack the first five on top of each other. The other player(s) must wait patiently until her partner has successfully stacked all five blocks and run back to tag her. Once the player is tagged, she may take her turn running up to stack the next five blocks on top of what was started.

PARENTS

As the tower of blocks becomes higher and less sturdy, it may crash to the ground. If this happens, the player who knocked it over must stay and rebuild the tower until it stands, leaving the other player(s) waiting for their turn until it is completely put back together.

You have the amazing opportunity to model patience or forbearance to your children. While parenting may attempt to drain you of any patience you felt you had, this is where your opportunity lies. What better way to model this fruit than to draw from the overflow of the Holy Spirit to demonstrate, in real time, what supernatural patience can look like?

Players will continue rotating through the relay until one of the teams wins by having all of their blocks stacked up like a tower.

by Heather DePartee

WHAT IF WE ARE A FAMILY OF 2 OR 3?

Heather has been in children’s ministry for seven years and is currently working at The Well Community Church in Fresno, CA, as the Kids Ministry Director for one of their three campuses. She has gone back to school for a degree in early childhood development and is loving every second! She is married to Adam and has a thing for pretty house plants.

Don't worry! If you are family of three, we have a couple of options for you. You can have one parent partner with the child and the other parent fly solo

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family time

fa m i ly t i m e r e c i p e

BACON & EGG CUPS This fresh new breakfast idea will be a great way for you to set an example for your children to follow: fill the first muffin cup with all the ingredients and then allow them to take it from there, layering each item in the same order as you did. Prep Time: 20 min. Total time: 55 min. Yields: 6 egg cups WHAT YOU’LL NEED • 12 slices bacon • 1 can refrigerated buttermilk biscuits • 6 eggs • salt and pepper, if desired WHAT YOU’LL DO 1.

Heat oven to 350° F.

Cook bacon over medium heat—about 4 minutes or until cooked but not crisp, turning once. (It will continue to cook in the oven.) Set aside.

Spray 6 jumbo muffin cups with cooking spray.

Separate dough into 6 biscuits. Place 1 biscuit in each muffin cup, pressing dough three-fourths of the way up sides of cups.

Place 2 bacon slices in each biscuit cup.

Crack an egg over each.

Season with salt and pepper.

Bake 25 to 30 minutes or until egg whites are set.

Run a small knife around cups to loosen.

10.

Serve immediately.

by Debbie Guinn

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family time

k i d s i n t h e k i tc h e n

FRUIT CONES Enjoy this fun way to eat fall fruit while sharing with your children the ways we can bear spiritual fruit in our lives. Remind them that when we are loving, joyful, peace-filled, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled, we model to others what it looks like to be filled with God’s Spirit. Prep Time: 20 min. Yields: 8 cones WHAT YOU’LL NEED • 12 waffle cones • 1 pound fresh apples, diced • 1 pound fresh pineapple, diced • 1 1/2 cups cantelope, diced • 12 ounces fresh blueberries • 12 ounces red grapes, halved • 4 kiwis, peeled and diced • 1 (15 ounce) can mandarin oranges in juice, drained well and sliced into halves Honey Lime Dressing • 1/4 cup honey • 2 teaspoons lime zest (about 2 medium limes) • 1 tablespoon fresh lime juice *F or an easy metric conversion chart, search the Internet for “metric kitchen.”

WHAT YOU’LL DO 1.

Add all fruit to a large mixing bowl.

In a small mixing bowl, whisk together the honey, lime zest, and lime juice.

Pour dressing over fruit just before serving and toss to evenly coat.

Scoop fruit into cones using a slotted spoon so dressing can drain. (Too much dressing will cause the cones to become soggy and leak.)

Transfer to a container with a lid and freeze for 6 hours.

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family time

p r ay e r

PRAYING FOR FRUIT to practically display that characteristic at home, at school or work, with friends, etc. For example, if I were to draw the word “gentleness,” I might say, “I could show gentleness when talking with my husband. Sometimes I get irritated and come across as harsh or critical, but God is gentle with me and calls me to be gentle with others as well.” If the person who draws the slip gets stuck, the rest of the family can help brainstorm too. Keep going until all of the slips are drawn. (You could do this all at once, or over the course of the month.)

I grew up in Sunday school, so like any “good Sunday school kid,” I could rattle off the fruit of the Spirit in five seconds flat. However, I do not recall anyone ever taking the time to push me to the next level and ask me what those words meant, or what they looked like in my life. The fruit of the Spirit described in Galatians 5:22–23 is more than just a Christian super-list. It is the evidence that we truly do know God and are being transformed by Him. It’s hard to tell types of trees by their branches or leaves alone, but once they begin bearing fruit, it is obvious to everyone what they are. In the same way, when we display love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, others see the evidence that we are who we say we are—chosen, loved children of God in whom the Holy Spirit is pleased to dwell.

The fruit of the Spirit can sometimes feel overwhelming, as it exposes how far away we are from being the people God has made us to be. Because of our sinful nature, we are not naturally loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, or self-controlled! God is the only one who perfectly embodies all of these qualities. The good news is that God does not expect us to merely “try harder to be better.” Instead, He has put His Holy Spirit in us, and the Spirit is the one who transforms us and makes us more and more like God. Therefore, I encourage you to end your family time with prayer. Pray for each family member, that God might continue to transform each of you and help you to display the fruit of the Spirit as evidence that you belong to Him, and as a model to the world of who He is.

This month, write down each of these words on a slip of paper: • love • joy • peace • patience • kindness • goodness • faithfulness • gentleness • self-control

by Emily Schulz

Put the nine slips of paper into a jar and shake the jar to mix them up. Then, as a family, take turns pulling slips out of the jar. The person who pulls out the slip should read the word and then brainstorm ways

Emily is the Director of Family Ministries at New Denver Church in Denver, CO. She is enjoying the newlywed life with her husband, Phil, and recently graduated with her MDiv from Denver Seminary.

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family time

g o d ' s wo r d

LISTENING FOR

GOD'S VOICE READ IT

Do you ever feel like you need an extra-strong dose of self-control? Like, for instance, when you’re eating chocolate, or watching Netflix, or trying to go to bed at a healthy time, or all three of those simultaneously? Nah, me neither.

Read Galatians 5:22–25 and Genesis 3:1–13 out loud to your family. Retell the story of Genesis 3 in your own words, focusing on Adam and Eve's choice to listen to the serpent’s voice rather than God’s. Discuss how listening to the truth can empower us to be self-controlled, and strengthen us to not give in to temptation like Adam and Eve did. Ask each person if he is willing to share one area where more selfcontrol is needed.

Needing more self-control has been part of the human story since the beginning. In the first pages of the Bible, we find Adam and Eve enjoying life in a garden. As the story goes, the serpent tempts them to eat from the tree from which God had commanded them not to eat. Both Adam and Eve exercise about as much self-control as I, um, I mean, my wife does with Downton Abbey episodes, and they eat the fruit, bringing sin into their relationship with God. And I don’t need to give you examples of how sin still damages our relationships and world today.

DO IT Weather permitting, take your family outside and direct them to listen for the loudest, most obvious sound. Is it traffic? Is there music playing? Is the wind howling? Then, have everyone close their eyes, take a deep, slow breath, and listen intently. Keep listening silently for a minute or two. Take note of what you hear. Are there any birds? Are there leaves rustling in the breeze? What are you hearing now, that you didn’t notice when focusing on the loud, obvious sounds?

Like those first children of God, we need more self-control, which the Bible refers to as fruit of the Spirit. But how do we get it? By gritting our teeth, clenching our fists, and trying harder? We all know that doesn’t work for long. I want to suggest that our lives will be characterized by more self-control if we quiet ourselves, close our eyes, and listen to the Holy Spirit.

Encourage your family, when they are sensing the need for more self-control, to close their eyes (figuratively or maybe even literally) and listen for God’s voice of truth, telling them He is with them, that He loves them, that His way is best for them. Pray as a family that with the help of God’s Holy Spirit you will be able to model self-control to those God has placed in your lives and that you will listen and hear God’s voice in new and empowering ways this month.

When the serpent approached Adam and Eve, he questioned God’s goodness—God’s care for them. The voice of the deceiver was the loudest voice they heard, and sadly, they listened to it. They surely had heard God speaking life-giving truth to them in the garden: “You are loved”; “I adore you”; “I know what’s best for you.” God’s first children let the volume of the lies drown out the truth, which then drove them to give in to this horrible choice, with catastrophic results. But the good news was that God was there to continue speaking truth to them—to restore their relationship. And God is here today. Amidst the blaringly loud lies around us, God’s voice—though sometimes a whisper—is here, if we will stop and listen for it.

by Jason Kliewer Jason is a husband and a dad of two daughters and a Community Pastor at ROCKHARBOR Church in Costa Mesa, CA. He has a masters in biblical studies from Grace University in Omaha, NE. 23

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family time

tot t i m e r h y m e ( ag e s 3 & u n d e r )

GET UP

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you SIT AT HOME and when you walk ALONG THE ROAD, when you LIE DOWN and when you GET UP. Deuteronomy 6:6–7

SIT AT HOME

ALONG THE ROAD

LIE DOWN

GET UP

This month as your little one wakes, remind her of the fruit of God’s Spirit that we can model in our lives by singing this sweet rhyme to the tune of Mary Had a Little Lamb.

1. ,

Love, joy, peace, and patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, I live for you, my Lord. by Izzi Ray Izzi is a singer, songwriter, artist, and musician. Blog Izzi.Ray.com

Instagram @izziray

Twitter @izziray

Get the audio recording of this song at bit.ly/octobertottime Repetition is fundamental to almost any learning style, so when you’re teaching your children, use repetition! 24

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family time

blessing

A BLESSING CAN BE A PRAYER OF COMMISSION, A BIBLE PASSAGE, OR WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT. BLESSINGS CAN BE SPOKEN OVER A CHILD FOR THE PURPOSE OF DECLARING GOD’S PROTECTION, JOY, AND WISDOM OVER HIM.

BLESS

When Paul defines the fruit of the Spirit in his letter to the Galatians, he calls it out in stark contrast to what we produce when we live by the flesh, or when we act out of our own selfish desires. He challenges us to "walk in step with the Spirit," and when we do this, we will bear fruit.

As you bless each other this month, think of one way each of your family members displays the fruit of the Spirit and what that teaches you about God. For example, for my very joyful daughter I might say, "My joyful daughter, because you display such joy in each new day, you teach me how God delights in His creation."

Notice we don't have to grow the fruit, we are supposed to bear it. We, as people who live by the Spirit and walk in step with the Spirit, will have this fruit because of the very Spirit of God living inside us, and we are to put it on display. This will run counterculture to life by the flesh, or what the world offers, and therefore needs to be supported and celebrated by our families. How do you see Christ in each of your family members because of the fruit they bear?

After you have blessed each person in your family with those words, finish with this blessing: (Child’s name), may your life display the fruit of the Spirit, who lives inside you. May love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control define you, and may you display Christ to all you meet.

READ Read Galatians 5:22–26 together, pointing out each trait of the Spirit's fruit and defining them for your children as needed.

by Courtney Wilson Courtney is the Elementary Director at Christ Community Church in the suburbs of Chicago. You can usually find her chasing her four amazing kids around with coffee in one hand and a camera in the other.

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ta k i n g ac t i o n

112 OPERATIVES EMPOWERED

749 SUPPORTED RESCUES

investigative work into over 250 brothels, he and Laura began The Exodus Road in January 2012. The bedrock ideas were that: ordinary people can make a difference in modern abolition, nationals should be empowered to impact their own communities, collaboration is essential for freedom, innovation and strategy are components of effectiveness, and rescues with local police and resulting legal action are critical to making human trafficking more dangerous for criminals. Although the nonprofit is not religiously affiliated, they chose the name “The Exodus Road” based on the biblical concept of the Israelite exodus from slavery—the time when the people came out of bondage under Egyptian rule. They included the term “road” to symbolize the practical nature of the organization’s work to move beyond theory into action, past developing concept, and into actual steps of movement along freedom’s path.

HOW WE STARTED The Exodus Road began through the journey and work of co-founders Matt and Laura Parker. Moving to Asia with their family in April 2010, Matt and Laura initially directed a children’s home for hill-tribe girls in rural northern Thailand. One year later, after stepping away from his role at the children’s home, Matt began networking within the counter-trafficking community of NGO’s in the area, specifically in the area of intervention. He eventually began working with local police to identify victims of trafficking and started to see firsthand the deficiencies of intervention efforts due to a lack of funding, collaboration, training, and equipment. After building relationships for nearly two years with both the government and local NGO’s, and through his own

In the summer of 2013, Matt and Laura moved back to Woodland Park, Colorado, where they continued on personal support in the hopes of raising funds to empower the work of 15 investigators they had personally worked alongside and who needed funding and covert gear. They worked from their kitchen table with two laptops, and knew if something didn’t open up in the first three months, they’d need return to “regular” jobs. They received 26

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ta k i n g ac t i o n

640 NATIONALS TRAINED

234 SUPPORTED ARRESTS Equip Nationals

their first official grant in the fall of 2013 from a private foundation and opened an office above a tire shop in their small town. From there, the work and vision of The Exodus Road grew quickly.

The most effective force for change in any society is to mobilize the men and women of that culture. We dedicate resources to training and equipping nationals with knowledge, support, and technology to find and free slaves in their own backyards and in their home countries—The United States included.

In the summer of 2014, Matt and Laura moved back to Southeast Asia to oversee the field office. The Exodus Road stateside office moved to Colorado Springs, where it remains today under the management of VP of Global Ops, Kevin Campbell. Despite wearing many hats—a common necessity for any start-up nonprofit—Matt currently serves as the CEO and Laura is the Sr. VP, as well as the VP of the Communications.

Encourage Collaboration We believe the anti-trafficking movement cannot afford isolation. It is with this spirit that we invest in collaborative efforts with other practitioners and governments, including the sharing of resources and technology and the coordination of events, especially through our leadership in The Liberty Alliance.

Matt and Laura have since been joined by a tribe of committed staff and volunteers active on three continents, and they continue to be honored to help empower such courageous and persevering work on behalf of freedom.

LEARN MORE Read survivor stories, learn more about The Exodus Road, donate, or volunteer!

WHAT WE DO

Website TheExodusRoad.com

Empower Rescue

Facebook The Exodus Road

Our primary focus lies in ushering in strategic, holistic rescue for current victims of slavery. We vet, train, fund, and equip operatives to collect evidence of trafficking, and then work with police to bring freedom. We also support victim services throughout the rescue and transition process.

Instagram @TheExodusRoad Twitter @TheExodusRoad Pinterest The Exodus Road

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g lo b a l

Awakening a compassionate heart and a global mind-set in children for people beyond the boundaries of their own neighborhoods.

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS ... NEW

ZEALAND?

Situated in the southwest Pacific Ocean, New Zealand proper, with a total area of 103,738 square miles, consists of the North Island, covering 44,274 square miles including small islands nearby; the South Island, 57,870 square miles; Stewart Island, 674 square miles; and various minor outlying islands.

Australia

New Zealand

QUICK STATS

POPULATION

4,596,700

LANGUAGE

ENGLISH

RELIGION

48% CHRISTIANITY 42% NO RELIGION 2% HINDUISM 1.5% BUDDHISM

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g lo b a l NOW THAT WE KNOW THE LOCATION OF NEW ZEALAND, LET’S MEET ITS PEOPLE.

There are nearly 4.6 million people that call New Zealand their home.

If you went to church in New Zealand, you would most likely go to a Christian church.

To talk with your friends in New Zealand, you would speak English.

To greet someone, you would say, “Hello.”

If you lived in New Zealand, your food would be largely driven by local ingredients. New Zealand yields produce from land and sea and it is a long-standing tradition for food to be cooked in earth ovens, known as hāngi. New Zealanders are passionate about good ice cream—one favorite is hokey pokey, creamy vanilla ice cream with pieces of honeycomb. New Zealanders also love their pavlova. A meringue-type dessert that's topped with cream and fresh fruit, pavlova is a permanent fixture at many family Christmas dinners.

DID YOU

KNOW

• The longest place name in the world is Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu, a hill in Hawkes Bay, New Zealand. • New Zealand is home to the world’s smallest dolphin species. • The word "Kiwi" is a nickname for a New Zealander.

According to the results of HSBC’s Expat Explorer Survey, New Zealand ranks number one as the kindest and most friendly country to move to. New Zealand ranks first in all four categories: (easiest to) befriend locals, learn the local language, integrate into the community, and fit into the new culture. As new people move into the country, they report, “New Zealanders as a whole seem like happy people, and that translates into friendly, helpful and kind people.” Other positive aspects include a “pitch-in-and-help mentality.” www.expatexplorer.hsbc.com/survey/

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st u d e n t i d (6 t h

8th grade)

MODELING LOVE and value what I am challenging them to do. When I drop them off at school in the morning and we are going through the carpool line, I begin to pray for their school. By modeling this to them, I reinforce my relational equity as a parent and encourage them to love people in the same way.

As a Jesus follower, I have a strong desire to see God’s best in my life, my marriage, and my children. As a parent of six, with another one on the way, one of my greatest challenges is trying to create an environment for that to happen! When I think about my kids throughout the week, I pray and dream for God to use them in amazing ways. I hope for each one of them to passionately pursue Jesus, to love people the way He did, and to value what He valued. When I don’t see this happening, I get frustrated and impatient with God, and even with my children.

Another thing I have done to model the value of loving people the way Jesus did is to open up our home to my teenagers' friends. As an introvert, the last thing I want to do upon coming home from work at the end of the day is to have a bunch of teenagers over to my house. And yet, this is one area that God has been pushing me to change. If we are to love people like Jesus did, then we have to be willing to sacrifice for them. My kids are seeing me model sacrificial love when I open “my” home and allow others to use “my” things. As a Jesus follower, I realize that these things don’t actually belong to me, but rather have been entrusted to me by God to steward well. But, my kids know that I am an introvert and that I have a hard time allowing people to “invade” my space and use my things. By doing this, I now have some equity to challenge them to love others sacrificially and give of their time and things.

Then, God reminds me as I read Galatians 5:22–23, “But the fruit the Holy Spirit produces is love, joy, and peace. It is being patient, kind, and good. It is being faithful and gentle and having control of oneself” (NIrV). Every time I read the Bible I am challenged to see what God wants to speak to me. I get frustrated with my kids when they don’t love people the way Jesus did, but after reading those verses, I have to ask myself, “Do I love people the way Jesus did? Is that a fruit of the Spirit I see each day in my own life?” One of the things God continues to teach me is this—in order for me to have any relational equity with my kids as a parent or authority in their lives, I must model what I am asking and hoping for in them. Let me share with you how I have tried to implement this lately.

Here is one of the greatest things about modeling love to your kids. You may think that this in some way will bring about transformation in your children, and in all likelihood it will! But, by doing the hard thing of modeling love, God will also transform YOU in amazing ways!

I have been challenging my teenagers this year to pray for and love the students at their school. In order to back up my words, I chose to do something uncomfortable this past week. I went to their high school during the lunch break to meet up with them and a few of their friends to pray over their school. We met at the flagpole and prayed together in full view of the many students who eat outside each day. This simple act showed my kids that I believe in

by Chris Steenmeyer Chris and his wife, Sarah, have been married for three years, and each brought three kids to their marriage. He works as the Children’s Pastor at Mountain Springs Church in Colorado Springs, CO. He is passionate about equipping kids to hear God’s voice.

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Harvest of Goodness Kathryn O'Brien

Before my first baby was born, I prepared myself for a major career change. My husband and I had decided that I would stop working outside the home for a while and become a full-time mom. I knew I had a lot to learn in my new role, as Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d heard about motherhood requiring the skills of a nurse, nutritionist, chauffeur, office manager, coach, counselor, events planner, teacher, and referee, just to name a few. What I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know was that becoming a mom also meant I would be entering the farming business. Not right away, but the older my kids got, the more I felt like a farmer with a budding crop. I was responsible for these little people God had planted in my family, and it was up to me to make sure they grew well. Very well.

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Like a good rancher just starting out, I did my homework. I asked other farmers for advice and paid close attention to older, more experienced growers who’d been farming for years. How did they do it? How did they ensure a “good” crop? I read articles and books. I got up early and worked hard. I wasn’t afraid to get my hands dirty. I kept a close eye on the weather, stood ready to battle any harmful pests, and prayed daily for God to bless our land. After all, the growth of these trees was a direct reflection on my farming expertise, right? This little crop was my responsibility; failure was not an option. So I did all I could to be a successful farmer: my kids would be good kids. I made sure that the soil was right; my husband and I provided the best environment we could. We offered plenty of water and sunshine for them to thrive, an abundance of love, support, and encouragement. I watched my crops carefully, pruning when necessary, nipping challenging behavior in the bud. And, guess what? It worked! Sometimes, my kids were good! They were sweet and respectful and kind. They obeyed and worked hard and made good decisions. Receiving compliments about their behavior from friends, teachers, and total strangers at the market was like winning a blue ribbon at the county fair. And I wore those ribbons proudly. Wow, what a good farmer I must be to raise this kind of crop. Other times however, it didn’t work at all. As hard as I tried, goodness didn’t grow. During these times, when my kids didn’t listen, refused to obey, or made poor decisions, I resorted to solutions that any reasonable farmer might try … I yelled at the trees. I pleaded with the trees. My husband and I sat down and had serious discussions with the trees. I tried negotiating with the trees, lecturing the trees, and even bribing the trees. Our efforts had some temporary effect, but no significant, long-lasting impact on the growth of our crops. Wow, what a horrible farmer I must be to raise this kind of crop. Looking back, now that my days in the field are almost over, I know that farming is a tricky business. As moms, we can do everything right, and still have a few shaky seasons to work through with our children. On the other hand, we can make lots of mistakes, and still be granted grace and blessed with a plentiful year. I know that I tried my best to be a good farmer, but I also know that growing goodness in my kids was never really in my power. Goodness, just as with every other fruit of the Spirit, grows from the Spirit. It has little to do with my farming skills, and all to do with His power, His ways, His perfect timing. We can’t force it, create it, or hurry it up. Fellow farmers, don’t lose hope! Keep preparing and enriching that soil. Continue to provide all of the water, sunshine, and love you possibly can. Don’t stop paying close attention to each tree, and pray ceaselessly for God to bless your harvest. Fruit will come, from the One—the only One—who can lead our kids to flourish in goodness.

Kathryn O’Brien writes books for kids and has a heart for moms. She has published five children’s picture books, including her latest series, Sit for a Bit (from Tyndale), which teaches Bible verses to little ones in a fun and lasting way! Kathryn loves writing about faith and family for several publications and online blogs. websitekathobrien.com Instagram @sit4abit Facebook iamkathobrien

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Through Her Little Eyes Dana Dill

At breakfast the other day, my wife captured a picture of my daughter, Daisy, and me sitting, awaiting our food. For many, the picture is sweet. Daisy is as cute as ever in her bow and stylish digs. Her smallness compared to my bigness is adorbz. Yeah, the picture is delightful. Agreed. But, for me, the picture isn’t only adorable. It’s also terrifying. How? The picture reminds me of my role in Daisy’s life. It captures the reality that my daughter is now, and will forever be, watching me. In my good moments and my bad moments, her little eyes will study me. She will watch my actions, examine my decisions, and observe my passions day after day after day. She will not only hear what I say, but she will watch how I live. Absolutely terrifying. THE GREATEST GIFT I CAN GIVE MY DAUGHTER Thinking of this, I was instantly reminded of Tim Challies’ words about the power of parental modeling. Reflecting on his own parents and their influence in his life, he writes, Nothing can take the place of simply living as a Christian in view of my children. No amount of formal theological training, church attendance, or family devotions will make up for a general apathy about the things of the Lord. I can catechize my children all day and every day, but if I have no joy and no delight in the Lord, and if I am not living out my faith, my children will see it and know it. For all the good things my parents did for me, I believe that the most important was simply living as Christians before me. I don’t think anything shaped or challenged me more than that.1 34

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Of all the good and necessary things I must (and will) supply for my daughter, none of them compares with the gift of letting her see Christ in me. Of all the needs my daughter has (and will have), there are none greater than seeing her daddy love Jesus with all heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s got. My words can explain the preciousness of Christ, but it is my life that will prove it. MY PRAYER With these thoughts still kicking around in my mind, I have only one recourse: prayer for the grace and help I need to be the model Daisy needs. Father, Make me a Father like you so my little girl will not only hear of you through my words, but will see you, however dimly, through my life. Keep my eyes on Jesus so, when she sees the direction of my eyes, sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll look to Him as well. Fill me with the Holy Spirit so I may be a living testimony to the goodness, value, and glory of Jesus. All this I ask for the good of my Daisy and the glory of your Name. Amen. Parents, your kids are watching. Make sure they see you, above all else, savor the Savior. Dana is the youth pastor at South Shores Church in Dana Point and a writer for the TruIdentity student curriculum. He is husband to his beautiful wife, Chawna, and daddy to his precious daughter, Daisy. 1 http://www.challies.com/christian-living/the-most-important-thing-my-parents-did

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CHOOSING JOY

Photo Credit: Andrea David Co.

I was fresh out of college—just five months out, to be exact— when I received a 3 a.m. phone call that would forever change my life:

of my life. What I remember most about it was the pavement, the silence of my car’s tires circling on the road, and the loud thuds of my rapidly beating heart.

This is the police. There’s been an accident involving your brother and grandfather. Please come right away.

When I arrived, the police let me know my grandfather had been tragically killed in the accident, and social services was on their way. I learned that my grandfather and brother had been sleeping in the car regularly to avoid my birth mom’s drunken rampages. When my brother Rex heard that social services was coming, he fearfully pleaded with me to not let our other two younger brothers be taken away. That night I made a promise to keep them all together, no matter the cost.

Trailing behind that call came a series of unnerving voicemails from my birth mom. She was clearly drunk, slurring her words and flexing her tone. Even at twenty-two years old, after not living with her for nearly ten years, her voice still made me shudder and feel sick inside. As a kid, this voice was often followed by some kind of abuse—whether physical, psychological, or verbal.

But, I couldn’t keep this promise perfectly. All three of my brothers lived with me for nearly two years, but because of Orange County Social Services' commitment to pursue reunification, the two

I ignored her voicemails with a roll of my eyes and jumped into my car to drive to the hospital. It was thirty minutes away—the longest, quietest drive 36

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to u g h to p i c s younger boys were reunified with their birth mom. Fortunately, my husband and I were able to adopt Rex, the oldest of the three. Then, six months ago, after nearly two years of not seeing or hearing from the younger boys, social services called and informed me that they were back in the system and needed us. With bittersweet excitement, we picked them up, and are only six months away from (hopefully) being able to adopt them.

Someone asked me the famous question: But how do you have so much joy? As usual, I was taken by surprise and I paused. For various reasons, I paused. I wanted to make sure my answer was real, and I also wanted to make sure my answer was accessible. This wasn’t a Christian gathering or Bible study. It was a gathering for creative entrepreneurs. So, I paused. And I realized and shared that the joy comes from being honest with myself in my emotions. To recognize that the pain and stress of the situation are real and exist, and cannot be dismissed, and that being honest with myself and with others brings that sense of joy.

There is a lot more to this story. There were long evenings of night terrors and experiences that made me grow up extremely fast. I became a full-time mom overnight. Then, after the two younger boys were reunified, my husband and I welcomed our first biological child into the world—our daughter, Scout. We were pregnant with our second child when we received the call that our sons, our boys, were back at the Orangewood Children and Family Center.

The good ol’ church girl in me knows the right answer: Jesus! And yes, obviously, Jesus is my answer. He gives me the joy I need to get through the day. But Jesus also provides the gift of joy that comes with the sorrow. I want to genuinely believe and express, not so much with my words, but model with my demeanor and care for others, that there is a Solid Rock I stand on in these stormy times, and to use my experience as a testimony of belief that nothing is wasted when it’s in Christ’s care. It isn’t a Sunday school type of jumpjump-jump joy. Sometimes, oftentimes, it’s a quietness I carry or a listening ear I can offer. I use whatever feeble strength I have, on any given day, to show this mysterious thing to others: this joy of the Lord. Yes, He is my source of joy, but it is a mystery and marriage with pain that creates the beauty of understanding our weakness is met with Christ’s strength. Being alright with remaining unresolved and being okay with being “messy”… that is the joy. And even though I hesitate, and might be nervous to share, I have never missed an opportunity to express the reality of the joy that is the genuine, authentic reality of this whole situation I like to call life.

It’s hard for me to get through a conversation without someone finding out that my husband and I have five kids. This brings up a lot of questions for a lot of reasons—one of them being that the math just doesn’t make sense. My husband and I have been married just two years! When people catch wind of our story, I often get the question, “How do you have so much joy when you’ve experienced so much pain?” This question makes me hesitate because I don’t realize that I’m showing joy—I don’t try to act happy or extra peppy. I would actually rather be known for authenticity than joy. When I’m at events for work or meeting people for the first time, they don’t usually know that I have four to five missed calls from lawyers, social workers, you name it, demanding my time and energy right away … because, apparently, raising five kids, working, and being a pastor’s wife isn’t enough to keep me busy. At a recent work event, I was leading a community discussion on valor (see picture). The definition of valor is bravery, especially in the light of battle. The women there had no idea their facilitator had just come through a gigantic meltdown, caused by an inexperienced social worker’s careless comments to one of our sons. After the storm passed, I had to rush to make myself look presentable, somehow set aside my own feelings of extreme anger that come only with being a mommy ("you hurt my child—I hurt you," kind of emotion. You feel me, moms?) and rush out to this event to facilitate this conversation, and welcome and invite women to share their own experiences in business and life. Somehow, a piece of my story was brought up.

by Sally Kim Sally Kim is the Communications Director of the Yellow Co., a movement that exists to empower creative women to use their skills to impact the world for good. Her heart is to empower and show grace to women of all kinds through her career and her ministry as a worship pastors’ wife. She believes in the mantra, “beautiful girl, you can do hard things,” and loves the testimony hardship brings. Sally and her husband have five kids and their house is messy. Come over for some coffee and enjoy the ride. Blog lettersfromamister.tumblr.com Blog yellowconference.com/blog Instagram @misssallyrae

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m a r r i ag e

THE GREAT FAITHFULNESS OF GOD

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m a r r i ag e

A few years ago my husband and I celebrated one of our milestone wedding anniversaries. Usually we would go out to dinner and exchange gifts or cards. However, this time we decided to introduce the concept of remember and celebrate into our evening. The idea was that we would pause to remember God’s faithfulness before entering into celebration. At dinner, I took out a napkin and wrote down the years that we had been married and next to each we wrote some notation of how God had showed His faithfulness to us in that year of our lives together. After we completed the list of remembrance, the only response was celebration and worship! It was the most meaningful anniversary we have ever experienced simply because we took the time to stop, to pause … and remember the faithfulness of our heavenly Father. God ordained this rhythm in Scripture time and time again in the Old Testament because active remembrance cultivates relationship. God wants us to look back and recognize His faithfulness, His intense love, and our personal interactions with Him. We live in a culture that demands a certain hurriedness that compels us to constantly move forward and look ahead. In contrast, God asks for a posture of looking back while we move forward. He wants us to remember His faithfulness because this truth about His character will allow us to move forward with peace and confidence. Michael and I have been married for almost three decades now. We have raised children, made several moves, and transitioned through a variety of jobs and ministries. We both have a few more wrinkles and a few more pounds than the day we said, “I do.” Careless words have been exchanged, stupid decisions have been made, and disappointments have crept into our minds and hearts at times. These are the realities of being human, living life with another person in close proximity, on a daily basis. However, because of God’s faithfulness to us, we can forgive, love, and persevere in the midst of these trials. We are faithful because He is faithful. If I forget to acknowledge God’s faithfulness to me, I am tempted to fixate on an irritating moment or failure in my husband. Yet, when I remember God’s great faithfulness to me, I am compelled to offer my husband the new mercies God grants to me each day. Take a moment to consider the words from one of the greatest hymns of all time, written by Thomas Chisholm in the 19th century, in regards to your marriage. As you read each stanza, personalize it for your marriage and ponder how these things have been (and can be) true in your relationship with your spouse: Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father, There is no shadow of turning with Thee; Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not; As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest, Sun, moon and stars in their courses above Join with all nature in manifold witness To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed Thy hand hath provided, Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

by Michelle Anthony Michelle is the Executive Pastor of Parenting, Junior High, and Children at New Life Church and the Family Ministries Ambassador at David C Cook. Michelle has graduate degrees in Christian education, theology, and leadership, and more than twenty-five years of church ministry experience as a children’s and family pastor. She lives in Colorado Springs and loves a good book and a cup of coffee.

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s p i r i t ua l g r a n d pa r e n t i n g

FILLED WITH JOY "CHILDREN FIND IN THE EYES OF THEIR PARENTS [OR GRANDPARENTS] THE MIRROR IN WHICH THEY DEFINE THEMSELVES. FILL THEM WITH NOTHING AND THEY BECOME NOTHING." — WILLIAM GLASSER, PSYCHIATRIST

HOW TO PLAY JOY CHASE

We are all born with an innate desire to be filled with something. As young children, we begin by looking to our parents and grandparents to fill us. We want answers and direction, love, acceptance, and purpose. As parents and grandparents, our role is to guide the young ones God has placed in our care to the only One who can fill their emptiness. Romans 15:13 encourages us with these words: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” As we trust in God, He can fill our innate void with joy and peace—which in turn gives us hope. This is an important message for our grandchildren. The world surrounds them with hopelessness. Without the power of the Holy Spirit, that hopelessness can begin to define them. Grandparents, sometime this month, play this simple game of chase to remind your grandchildren that God alone can fill them with joy and peace!

Purchase a package of dot stickers in assorted colors (found at office supply stores).

Write the word “joy” on each dot on several sheets of the stickers.

Assign a color to each player and hand out the stickers—one player will have all the blue stickers, another all the red stickers, and so on.

Explain that the goal of the game is to stick as many joy stickers as possible on other players, while avoiding getting stickers on you.

Set a timer for one minute. When the timer goes off, stop and see who was able to spread the most joy by counting up the stickers of each color.

Remind your grandchildren that God wants to fill us with His joy and peace. He wants us to live a life defined by His purpose and hope!

by Debbie Guinn 41

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s p e c i a l f e at u r e

WHAT I WISH YOU WOULD DO you try to hide these obvious conversations, it feels like you’re hiding from our family. It feels like the insignificant gap between us that your child has noticed has now grown into a wide canyon no one wants to cross.

As we enter the playground area, your child immediately points to mine, calling loudly, “Mom, look at HER!” You quickly hush him, calling him to you for a quiet reprimand. You’re in the grocery store when your child catches a glimpse of the baby in my cart and asks, “Why is that baby so red?” You practically put your hand over his mouth to stop as much of the question as you can, while hurrying around the corner without looking back.

We’re both parents, both trying to do our best, and we both love our kids fiercely and want to raise them to be kind individuals. So here’s what I wish you might do instead: I wish you would leave these conversations about us open to us so that we might engage or even explain my daughter’s condition if we choose to.

Your children freeze, staring open-mouthed at my daughter at the library, and you get a rising panic in your eyes as you try to distract them to look anywhere else.

I wish you would close that small gap by relating to us as you would to any other family on the playground, instead of making the gap bigger by treating us as unapproachable.

I recognize all of this unfolding, nearly every day. I hear the questions. I glimpse the pointing fingers out of the corner of my eye. I notice the whispered comments.

When your child points and tells you to look, I wish you would respond clearly, “Yes, look at that pretty little girl. It looks like she’s having so much fun playing, just like you are!”

I hear you, and I see you, and I feel it all, deep within my heart, as we receive a reaction to my daughter everywhere we go; Brenna’s severe genetic skin disorder makes her skin a deep-red color and causes it to constantly peel. To protect her skin, she is covered with a thick, shiny lotion. Yet, I find it makes the situation worse when you try to “hide” the questions and comments from me.

When your child asks you, “Why is that baby so red?” or, “Why does she look like that?” I wish you would answer honestly: “I’m not sure, but we all look different from each other, don’t we? God made all of us so different and so wonderful.”

You’re embarrassed when your child points out my daughter’s unique appearance, and I understand that. But on the other side, we feel embarrassed too; when

I wish you would encourage your child to say, "Hi," and to ask my kids’ names and be friends. 42

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s p e c i a l f e at u r e I wish you would apologize without feeling ashamed if your child is offensive right in front of us: “I’m so sorry, we’re still learning how to ask questions respectfully.” It also goes a long way if you continue to reach out, perhaps asking how old my daughter is or introducing yourself.

As parents, we are constantly modeling for our children—by our actions and our words. And with that quick point and question from our kids about another’s appearance, we as parents are given a choice: to either teach how to avoid and be embarrassed around people with disabilities, or to help our children learn that everyone was awesomely and uniquely created by God, in all shapes, sizes, and colors. With each experience, we can choose to model kindness, respect, love, and goodness as we learn how to connect and appreciate the uniqueness of God’s image within each other.

And more than anything, I wish you would proactively discuss differences more often. I wish you would read to your child about differences, disabilities, and what it means to be yourself. I wish you would positively and naturally converse about everything from wheelchairs to birthmarks, from Down syndrome to skin disorders, from racial differences to wearing glasses.

So next time, I hope you don’t run and hide. I hope you keep the conversation with your children open so they can begin to learn about others in a positive and respectful way. Instead of a steep divide that places our family on the other side with a “do not look at and do not talk to” sign, let’s both take this opportunity and use it as a positive example for our children to learn how to respect and appreciate physical differences.

As much as you might want the ground to swallow you up when your child looks at mine, points, and exclaims, “Look how red she is!” there is nothing to be scared of ... and when you act afraid to be around us, it teaches your children that Brenna is scary because she’s different. Ultimately we want to teach our children that we are all different, not that my daughter Brenna is the “different one” simply because her appearance is noticeably unusual. What an extraordinary world it might be if we could show our children how to recognize that others are truly people first, despite any differences. And perhaps, your kids might learn that if they have questions about someone’s appearance, they can ask you later, privately, so they don’t hurt anyone’s feelings—because, after all, how we treat each other is much more important than how someone looks.

by Courtney Westlake Courtney is the author of A Different Beautiful, available on Amazon and bookstores everywhere. She is married to Evan and mother to Connor (7) and Brenna (4). Courtney is a writer and photographer, and blogs about family life after Brenna was born with a severe skin disorder. Blog CourtneyWestlake.com Facebook Blessed By Brenna - Courtney Westlake Instagram @cwestlake

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b o o k s p ot l i g h t

SPEAK LIFE

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b o o k s p ot l i g h t My sixteen-year-old son, Abram, has been wrestling with some weighty relational issues lately, and several nights ago I noticed he was quieter than his typically chatty self. I asked what was up, but he wouldn’t crack.

He looked at me as if I’d lost my mind and decided to trot out my best street-magic impersonation right there, right then with him. But he couldn’t resist the challenge. “Yes,” he said plainly. “I will.”

“I’m okay” was all he said, even though I knew that wasn’t the truth.

I sat down across from my son and proceeded to lay out three big situations that were driving him nuts, relational knots I knew he had no clue how to untie. I threw them out there boldly, numbering them on my fingers as I went, and once I’d said my piece, Abram looked at me with wide eyes and said, “Dad—for real—how do you know all that? You were gone, like, three minutes just now.”

So I left the room for a few minutes to have a quick chat with God. I know something’s wrong, I told God. In my spirit I sensed a divine yes. What is it? I asked. What’s going on in my son’s heart?

What I told my son is what I want you to hear too: Prophetic communication is not some party trick. It’s simply following the progression Christ laid out for us, which involves talking to God before we choose to open our mouths to communicate with others.

In the space of a few seconds, God revealed to me the crux of Abram’s problems: they had to do with a few relationships that had gotten sideways. Then God assured me that he would equip me to help Abram come out of his funk.

When we operate with others as Christ did, we first hear from heaven. Then we work to keep our self-talk grounded. After that we stand firm against the schemes of the Enemy. And then—voilà!—we miraculously speak words of life. That’s all I did with Abram that night, and that’s all I’m asking of you.

It’s hard to describe what that felt like, and what a relief it was that I wasn’t all alone in this situation with my son. When you’re the parent of teenagers, it’s tempting to want to check out from time to time, to take their words (or grunts, as the case may be) at face value, to put too much weight in the fact that you’ve raised them right and can just release them to the world. Things often work themselves out, after all.

In the pages that follow, I want to explain why we get ourselves into conversational trouble, as well as the most time-tested ways to get out of it. I want to explore Jesus’s perfect example in hopes of adapting his practices for our (admittedly imperfect) lives. How often did he commune with the Father? Why didn’t he fall into sin when he was tempted? How did he stay on mission every day? Why did his words carry such tremendous weight?

The Enemy is forever whispering to parents of teens, Let it go. It’s just a phase. This will pass fast enough, when in actuality, our teens need just as much attention and guidance—if not more—as they did when they were curious little toddlers prone to sticking their fingers into electrical sockets. Checking in with God that night reaffirmed my commitment to my son. Regardless of Satan’s taunts to just leave Abram alone, I decided to wade into what could be a difficult conversation in the hope of helping my son sharpen his relational skills.

I want to provide a little encouragement that no matter how reckless you’ve been with your words over the course of your days—and no matter how much damage those words have done—you (even you!) can become someone who is known for speaking wise and healing words. Starting today you can steward every syllable. Starting now you can use every word for good.

As I headed back into the room where Abram was hanging out, I felt a deep sense of inner confidence and peace in knowing my mission as my kids’ dad. I knew what God had revealed to me, and I knew that I was the only person in Abram’s life who had the relational, emotional, and spiritual currency with him to do what I was about to do.

Excerpt from Speak Life: Restoring Healthy Communication in How You Think, Talk, and Pray by Brady Boyd (Colorado Springs: David C Cook, 2016). To read more, be sure to pick up a copy!

“Abram,” I said as I approached him, “if I can tell you exactly what’s bugging you, will you agree to talk about it with me?”

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ENVIRONMENTS The order of the 10 Environments listed coincides with the monthly distribution of this resource.

“God has entrusted me with the things and people He created around me.”

“Asks the question, ‘What needs to be done?’”

Serving This posture of the heart asks the question, “What needs to be done?” It allows the Holy Spirit to cultivate a sensitivity to others and focuses on a cause bigger than one individual life. It helps fulfill the mandate that as Christ-followers we are to view our lives as living sacrifices that we generously give away!

Responsibility This environment captures the ability to take ownership for one’s life, gifts, and resources before God. A child must be challenged to take responsibility for his or her brothers and sisters in Christ, as well as for those who are spiritually lost. Our hope is that the Holy Spirit will use this environment to allow each child to understand that God has entrusted His world to us.

“God fills me with His love so I can give it away.”

“God has a big story, and I can be a part of it!”

“God transforms me when I step out in faith.”

Out of the Comfort Zone As children and students are challenged to step out of their comfort zone from an early age, they learn to experience a dependence on the Holy Spirit to equip and strengthen them beyond their natural abilities and desires. We believe this environment will cultivate a generation that, instead of seeking comfort, seeks a radical life of faith in Christ.

Love&Respect Without love, our faith becomes futile. This environment recognizes that children need an environment of love and respect in order to be free to both receive and give God’s grace. Innate to this environment is the value that children are respected because they embody the image of God. We must speak to them, not at them, and we must commit to an environment where love and acceptance are never withheld due to one’s behavior.

Storytelling The power of The Big God Story impacts our lives by giving us an accurate and awe-inspiring perspective into how God has been moving throughout history. It is the story of redemption, salvation, and hope and tells how I have been grafted into it by grace. It further compels us to see how God is using every person’s life and is creating a unique story that deserves to be told for God’s glory.

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“I belong to God,

“God knows me, and I can know Him.”

and He loves me!”

Knowing Nothing could be more important than knowing and being known by God. We live in a world that denies absolute truth, and yet God’s Word offers just that. As we create an environment that upholds and displays God’s truth, we give children a foundation based on knowing God, knowing His Word, and a relationship with Him through Christ. God is holy, mighty, and awesome, and yet He has chosen to make Himself known to us!

“When I get off track, God offers me a path of healing.”

“I see Christ in others, and they can see Him in me.”

“God’s family cares for each other and worships God together.”

Course Correction This environment flows out of Hebrews 12:11–13 and is the direct opposite of punishment. Instead, biblical discipline for a child encompasses a season of pain, the building up in love, and a vision of a corrected path for the individual with the purpose of healing at its core.

Identity This environment highlights who we are in Christ. According to Ephesians 1, we have been chosen, adopted, redeemed, sealed, and given an inheritance in Christ … all of which we did nothing to earn. This conviction allows children to stand firm against the destructive counter-identities the world will offer.

Faith Community God designed us to live in community and to experience Him in ways that can only happen in proximity to one another. The faith community serves to create an environment to equip and disciple parents, to celebrate God’s faithfulness, and to bring a richness of worship through tradition and rituals, which offer children an identity. Our love for each other reflects the love we have received from God.

IT IS OUR PRAYER THAT HOMES AND CHURCHES WOULD CREATE THESE ENVIRONMENTS FOR CHILDREN TO LIVE IN SO THEIR FAITH WILL GROW IN A COMMUNITY OF CONSISTENCY, COMMON LANGUAGE, AND PRACTICE. TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW THESE ENVIRONMENTS CAN IGNITE A TRANSFORMING FAITH IN YOUR FAMILY, WE SUGGEST YOU READ:

Modeling Biblical content needs a practical living expression in order for it to be spiritually impacting. This environment serves as a hands-on example of what it means for children to put their faith into action. Modeling puts flesh on faith and reminds us that others are watching to see if we live what we believe.

SPIRITUAL PARENTING: An Awakening for Today’s Families

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked “ESV” are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Copyright © 2000; 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture marked NIrV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Reader’s Version®. NIrV®. Copyright © 1995, MODELING | homefrontmag.com 471996, 1998 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

SPEAK WORDS of LIFE As Proverbs says, “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18 niv). If we will be held accountable for every word we speak, as the Bible says we will be, then why not learn to speak words that are thoughtful, controlled, attentive, appropriate, responsible, life-giving, and kind? Speak Life will lead your way.

BRADY BOYD is the senior pastor of New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He is married to his college sweetheart, Pam, and they have two great kids, Abram and Callie. Brady has written numerous books, including Addicted to Busy and Let Her Lead. He’s also passionate about caring for the people of Colorado Springs and has been instrumental in the opening of numerous Dream Centers in the city.

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