HElPING
SprinG 2010
WOMEN’S
Edition
DREAMS TAKE FLIGHT
Featuring
Dr. Grace Cornish Livingstone
Young, Broke & Destined! Healthy Woman: Food & Emotion
Soul Food Woman of Your Dreams Am I Enough? CALLING ALL COOKS!
The Last Word
by Rev. Dr. Elizabeth D. Rios, CEFL Founder/SOAR Publisher
Women at the Crossroads:
How to Break Through Life’s Roadblock and Move Forward With Purpose Dr. Grace Cornish Livingstone
O
ften times I run into leaders who seem to think that their primary duty is to bark orders and delegate every aspect of their job to their subordinates. In the end most are confused on why these same subordinates don’t respect them. The answer lies in understanding that leadership is much more than ordering others; it is also about establishing credibility with those you wish to lead. Credibility comes from performance. After giving it some thought, I wrote a poem about...here it is:
The True Leadership Treasure I went on search to be a leader, Searching high and low above the meter, I spoke with authority that I remember, All would follow, all but one member, “Why should I trust you?’ the one did ask, “What have you done to achieve the task?” I thought long and hard of what I did wrong, Then I rolled up my sleeves and worked right along, Shoulder to shoulder we got things done, We worked side by side, all were one, A mate of mine stumbled, I stooped to assist, My hand he did grab, a smile did persist, One was lost, didn’t know what to do, I showed him how, the ropes, something new I praised them one and all for their work, All were unique, but I encouraged each quirk, When the task was done, one did shout “You’re a great leader!” they all turned about, “Without you there to support our plight, Lost would we be with no end in sight”, I learned that day that I lead best, When I get off my butt and help the rest, To lead by example is the true treasure, The secret of leadership, in one simple measure. By Victor Antonio G., December 2004
Contents
SprinG 2010 Edition
4
Officers, SOAR Team, Mission
5
Editors Notes
6
Voice It!
7-8 9 10
Get To Know CEFL Contributor’s Page Soul Food
11-12
Women at the Crossroads: How to Break Through Life’s Roadblock and Move Forward With Purpose Dr. Grace Cornish Livingstone
13-14
Healthy Woman: Food & Emotion Sandra Almonte
15-16
Woman of Your Dreams Rosalind Humphreys
17-18
Dollars and Sense:Young, Broke and Destined! Lezette Caridad Roulhac
19-20
CALLING ALL COOKS!
22
GET UP Jennifer Reyes
23-24
Am I Enough? Rachel Maldonado
25-26
Are You “in the Hallway?” by Sandra Ford Walston
27-28
The Last Word by Rev. Dr. Elizabeth D. Rios, Founder/CEO & Soar Publisher
29-30
The Top Five A Look at Dr. Liz’s Fav 2010 Reading List
A publication of the Center for Emerging Female Leadership. Visit us at www.cefl.org and www.ceflonline.com
Listing of Officers
Soar Editorial Advisory Board
Dr. Shirley Arnold
Co-Senior Pastor, Tree of Life Family Church www.tlcfamilycgurch.org
CEFL National Board of Reference Dr. Suzan Johnson Cooke Wisdom Women Worldwide
Bishop H. Curtis Douglas Founder & Sr. Pastor, Dabar Worship Center
Judy Jacobs
Psalmist, Minister & Speaker Founder, International Institute of Mentoring www.judyjacobs.com
CEFL Board of Director Eunice Ayala Morales Rev. Edna R. Quiros, M.Div. Rev. Marcy Ramos Gladys Rios
Brian Mc. Laren
Rev. Enid Rios Rivera
National Author & Speaker
Rev. Dr. Marc Rivera
Sr. Pastor, Primitive Christian Church
Rev. Dr. Raymond Rivera
Besty Rivera Rev. Rachel Chinnery Todman
Founder/CEO, Latino Pastoral Action Center
Rev. Enid Rios Rivera Executive Pastor, Primitive Christian Church www.primitivechurch.org
SOAR Team Rev. Dr. Elizabeth D. Rios
CEFL Founder/CEO & Soar Publisher
Jennifer Reyes
Soar Editor-in-Chief
Tiffini Williams Graphic Designer
Sandra Almonte Jessica Gonzalez Rachel Maldonado Rosalind Humphreys Perez Lezette C. Roulhac Contributing Writers
Mission
Soar Magazine is a digital publication of the Center for Emerging Female Leadership, Inc (CEFL). The ministry of CEFL seeks to help women live purposefully, learn abundantly and lead excellently. Our mission is to develop leaders of excellence and integrity by providing resources, training and gatherings for personal and professional growth. Soar Magazine targets women influencing others in society be in home, church, government or marketplace who want to lead from a Christian world-view.
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Soar equips women to recognize, utilize and maximize their unique calling for such a time as this. Soar Magazine is published four times a year and our vision is to help women’s dreams take flight.
Editors Notes Dear Sistah, Welcome back to another edition of SOAR! What an amazing time it has been. Since our debut issue, we have enjoyed the benefit of new relationships, great feedback, and have been invited to become a member of the Evangelical Press Association. Honey, only God can do something so great in such a short matter of time. It’s also the kind of thing God
Spring is all about God’s creation springing forth and once again fulfilling it’s purpose.
does when you invite Him to do the impossible in your life. So many times we allow obstacles to hinder the call of God over our lives. We allow lies, negativity, low self-esteem and lack of resources to dictate our direction. We fall into the trap of exalting all that would seem to be against us. Well, not anymore! You have a God given talent that is unique to your temperment and personality. It’s time to call those things that aren’t as though they are and come out of hiding. Spring is all about God’s creation springing forth and once again fulfilling it’s purpose. My Sistah, in this issue we encourage you to spring forth once again, discover who you are, take a good look at what lies within, and receive the encouragement to step out and flourish in the place where God has planted you. To help us, we have the delightful and anointed Dr. Grace Livingstone who was gracious enough to share a special “right now” word to us. So don’t hesitate to dive right in and become one step closer to the woman God has destined you to become! Soaring into Destiny, Jen
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VOiCE iT!
“Oh my gosh! What a blessing! Haven’t finished reading the whole issue yet, but just reading the Editor’s Notes alone, I was getting all emotional. I’m looking forward to reading the rest! Thank you!” Crystal T. “Wow! This is wonderful, beautiful, smart, sassy, on point, thought provoking and I love the style.” Brenda O.
Woman in Motion article: “Very nicely done! I especially enjoyed the Women in Motion story about Joshua!” Larrell Marie M.
Our Deepest Fear Quote:
“Congratulations! What an impressive and lovely layout and overall look! I have one area of concern when scrolling through the pages; I saw a poem included in its pages by Marianne Williamson. With the many encouraging scriptures, poem, passages, and influential leaders within Christian circles, I don’t know if Williamson should be given this kind of status in a publication that clearly glorifies Father, Son and Holy Spirit.” Annette M.
Response: Dear Annette, thank you for sharing your heart. You were not the only
person to express concern over our decision to print a poem written by Marianne Williamson. However, after much conversation, prayer and discussion, the Soar team came to the conclusion that much can be gleaned from certain, highly selective secular material including poems, books, and quotations. 6 / SOAR
Let’s face it, today’s Christian women are
not only turning to their Bibles, but they are also watching Oprah, learning how to find the perfect pair of jeans; reading Suze Orman for financial advice, and listening to the oldies. As Christian women, we are called to be a light while being just as knowledgeable and discerning about the world we live in. This is why, from time to time, you may see some secular material in our publication that falls in line with our theme. We believe that this decision will help meet the needs of our ever growing readership who are confronted on a daily basis with the struggle of living in a secular world while maintaining a holy lifestyle.
SOAR Magazine is about women, just like you, who are not afraid to share what’s in her heart or mind. If an article touched your heart or ministered to you (or didn’t), please tell us about it at soarfeedback@cefl.org. Your voice truly matters.
Get to Know CEFL Our vision is to become a distinguished leadership development organization for women by supporting, connecting and strengthening them as they embrace their creative callings in this century. Our mission is to develop leaders of excellence and integrity by providing resources, training and gatherings for personal and spiritual growth. We are a learning community of diverse women for encouragement, challenge, deep inquiry and accelerated development. “CEFL wants to help every woman fulfill her God-given destiny” OFFERINGS in 2010 • Periodic E-News • Quarterly SOAR Magazine • Annual Sisterhood Summit in FL • Seminars and Social gatherings in NY and FL • Leadership Development Program • Pulpit Sisterhood Fellowship “Our mission is to develop leaders of excellence and integrity”
• Online social networking site • Growth groups (book clubs) in your area • Coming in 2011 - Coaching Institute!
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“Our vision is to become a distinguished leadership development organization for women” Are you asking questions about identity, meaning and purpose in your life; Are you seeking greater wholeness, balance in your everyday commitments as a woman; Do you strive to be a leader with greater personal power as reflected by Jesus’ servant model; Are you seeking congruence between who you think you are, who God says you are and what you bring to your God-given call. If you are… this organization is for YOU!
member come speak at your church or the Founder, Dr. Liz Rios, please let us know at info@cefl.org. In addition, if you would like to expand your ministry and use your God-given gifts to bless other women, CEFL has a place for you. We need growth group facilitators, writers, strategic thinkers, etc. Contact the founder at drliz@cefl.org “To get connected immediately and find out about our upcoming events visit our website at www.cefl.org”
To get connected immediately and find out about our upcoming events, visit our online social network site at: www.ceflonline.com or visit our official site: www.cefl.org. CEFL wants to help every woman fulfill her God-given destiny in any sector of society; church, marketplace, government or home. We believe there is a place for you to learn and grow as well as share and lead within the CEFL community. We are always looking to partner with women and church women’s ministries. If you’d like to have a CEFL Board
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Cecil Beaton Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary
CONTRIBUTOR’S PAGE other women through her writing. She has a BA in Journalism from NYU. Besides writing she loves teaching. She is currently working on becoming a certified teacher.
discovered a passion for serving women in the areas that God has done His deepest work for her - areas of self-esteem and redeeming marriages.
Sandra Almonte
Certified Fitness Trainer with the International Sports and Sciences Association (ISSA) and Certified Kickboxing Fitness Trainer with The Kickboxing Fitness Institute. She has over eight years experience in the fitness field with expertise in special populations such as diabetics, the overweight and older adults. Sandra was the first to be awarded the Master Trainer Certificate from NY Strength and also holds certificates in Wellness Coaching, Muscle Mastery, Fitness Safety, and Performance Nutrition. Sandra has also earned a career diploma in Physical Therapy Aide. She has written articles on various fitness topics for her local community newsletter.
Lezette C. Roulhac
Roz Humphreys
is a native New Yorker, writer, mother and wife. Her writings express candid and realistic views that have helped many discover their potential and strengths. Roz’ “can do” outlook motivates and encourages women from all walks of life to tap into and reassert their value in their many roles. You can visit her at www.rozcorner.blogspot.com.
is the youngest of four girls, life long resident of the great state of New York, student and devoted musician at Primitive Christian Church located in the Lower East Side of Manhattan. With aspirations to teach within the urban setting, Lezette completed her BA in English & History at Hunter College in 2008 and is currently working on her MA in T.E.S.O.L. (teaching English to speakers of other languages) at the Steinhardt School of Culture and Education at NYU. Through her writing she hopes to encourage women, particulary young women, to dream, aim high, and never settle for less.
Rachel Maldonado
Jessica Gonzalez
An aspiring writer, preschool teacher, mother of 3 and wife. She currently lives in Orange Park, FL. Originally from Brooklyn, NY. Jessica loves to inspire
and her husband of 13 years live in South Florida with their two children. Rachel is currently serving God on the worship team of a 3-year old church plant but has been a believer all her life. As a woman moved by creativity, she enjoys singing, dancing, and writing. In early 2009, she
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SOUL FOOD SOUL FOOD
SOUL FOOD
SOUL FOOD
SOUL FOOD SOUL FOOD
SOUL FOOD
Growing up, I always had a strong desire to write. Even as a very young child, I was writing my own stories. I had tons of notebooks with short stories and in college I even tried to write a novel. At the time, I was not following God and I struggled with very low self-esteem. My fear of failure was so great that I never pursued a career in writing, instead, I chose to believe that I wasn’t good enough. To my detriment, I ignored that still small voice always encouraging to walk in the calling He set out for me. But isn’t it just like God to capture our attention at the most unsuspecting moments? A few years ago, my family came together in my mother’s house to pray for my father’s health. After the prayer meeting my cousin pulled me to the side. He told me that God spoke to him during our time of family prayer and told him to give me a message. God said that He was going to “fulfill what He had promised me.” Immediately I knew that it had to do with my desire to become a writer. It had been years since I even thought about writing but as soon as my cousin delivered the message, the desire rose up once again and God breathed new life into my dream. A few months ago the premiere issue of Soar came out and I rejoiced and thanked God for the opportunity to write for this great magazine. He kept His promise and I can now say that I am a writer. Sister, what dreams or promises of God have lain dormant within you for far too long? As you seek His face, let the presence of God revive, renew and re-purpose the gifting that is inside of you. For what is impossible with man, is absolutely possible with God. So “come out” and don’t despise the day of small beginnings.
In John 11:43, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” Lazarus had been dead for days, was wrapped in grave clothing and was laid to rest. But something happened when Jesus commanded him to come out. Life poured into the dead corpse, the blood began to rush, the heart began to pump, the body began to move and what was once dead became alive.
I’m Coming Out by Jessica Gonzalez
There comes a point in every
Women at the Crossroads:
How to Break through Life’s Roadblock and Move Forward With Purpose By Dr. Grace Cornish Livingstone
woman’s life where she purposely pauses along her life path to deeply ponder: “What do I have to show for all I’ve been through? Am I on the right path? When will I receive my breakthrough in life?” Whether she is referring to financial stability, the right husband, a ministry, a certain career position, a child, a successful business, the ideal body weight or simply peace of mind, this soul-searching reflection can be a major turning point. After investing years, tears, hard work and self-sacrifice and not achieving inner contentment, she finds herself at a crossroads in life and adamantly declares, “Enough is enough, it’s my turn now!” Recently, three prominent girlfriends asked for advice for their crossroads experiences. I knew how to effectively help them though the process because I had already successfully overcome my own and had also helped hundreds of women at conferences. First, Margaret called: “On paper it looks good that I am a respected professor at a prominent University. But in reality I am overworked, underpaid and overwhelmed by people constantly using me as a sounding board, yet never once asking how I’m doing. I’m fed up and will set boundaries with my time from now on.” Her crossroads experience: Tired of being taken for granted. Next, Deborah confessed: “I feel so depressed that I have to talk this out. I have an influential job [as a SOAR / 11
Those on t h e o u t s i d e may se e y o u a s t h e Woman w h o h a s i t a l l togeth e r w h i l e n o t knowing t h a t o n t h e inside you a r e s i l e n t l y scr e a m i n g f o r a personal br e a k t h r o u g h , deeper un d e r s t a n d i n g and a ch a n g e f o r the better.
I would be happily married and with two children by now. Her crossroads experience: Tired of being in unhealthy relationships. Though different, they share a common bond: They are smart, contemporary Christian women who have come to a point where they no longer will accept inadequate treatment. They will require—even demand—that they be treated with appreciation and respect. These women are not alone. We all have crossroads experiences. Whether you are an actor, doctor, preacher, or teacher, at some point you will go through a deeply soul-searching period. Those on the outside may see you as the Woman who has it all together while not knowing that on the inside you are silently screaming for a personal breakthrough, deeper understanding and a change for the better. When you reach your crossroads and are ready to take control and move on to a better life, you will start shedding many old beliefs, habits and acquaintances you once considered friends. Your spirit will declare to God, the Universe, and all Humanity that you want and deserve better. There will be a cleansing as you prepare for the blessings that are about to emerge in your life.
media executive], good standing in my community and I live in the suburbs, yet I still struggle to make ends meet financially. I have worked so hard all my life, but I don’t have enough money to show for it. Sometimes it gets really rough. It’s time for a change.” Her crossroads experience: Tired of being undervalued and underpaid. Then, Belinda shared this: “My last relationship took a toll on me emotionally. He cheated on me for a year before I found out. I left three months ago and it still hurts. I invested two solid years of my life with him. I’m tired of always being the second choice. I am not going to be with another man unless he marries me. At 39, I thought
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When God closes one door, He always opens another. But sometimes we have to spend a little time in the hallway. When you’re in the Hallway of Life, between exiting one door and on the threshold of a new one, this crossroads experience may seem lonely and discouraging at times because you can’t see the new opening right away. Remember: The darkest hour is just before dawn. In Revelation 3:20, Jesus says, “I stand at the door and knock; if you will open it, I will come in.” By opening the door to a deeper relationship with Him, you’ll effectively pass through your crossroads hour; your new dawn will surely come. Here’s to celebrating the new you and to receiving every blessing that your heavenly Father has waiting for you. Dr. Grace is an award-winning relationship specialist, ordained minister, former TV talk show psychologist and the author of 10 bestselling books. She has an anointed and dynamic relationship ministry that helps and inspires tens of thousands each year. For more information, please visit her website
www.GraceLivingstone.org
Healthy Woman
Food & Emotions B y
S a n d r a
It’s 3:00 pm, I’m sitting at my
desk trying to get a few projects finished before 5:00 pm when hunger hits me. I go over to the vending machine and the Snickers bar wins over the healthy granola bar. Why is that? Will power aside, our emotions can play a big part in the foods we choose to eat. According to a study done by the American Psychological Association, more women eat for comfort compared to men. Food cravings are normal when they happen once in a blue. But when they happen on a consistent basis, they can signal emotions not being dealt with. What kind of emotions can have you reaching for nutrient deficient foods rather than healthy ones? Anger, stress, fear/anxiety, and depression are a few. If the craving is for candy bars, chips or pizza, chances are that anger and/or stress are being fed. If the craving is for ice cream, desserts, or refined breads and pastas, chances are that fear and/or depression are being fed. There are three ways to deal with these emotions instead of grabbing comfort foods (and gaining unwanted weight!). The first is eating five meals a day. Yes, five not the standard three. Here’s why: the body needs to be fed fuel consistently in order to maintain a healthy metabolism and blood sugar levels. Never skip the first meal 14 / SOAR
A l m o n t e
breakfast. The body has been fasting through the night and needs the energy to get going. The second meal should be halfway between breakfast and lunch. After lunch, the fourth meal should be between lunch and dinner. This is when most people’s blood sugar levels start crashing. Be prepared with a handful of your favorite veggies. That will keep you till dinner and prevent overeating. The five meals should be in small portions. For portion recommendations, go to WebMD’s site (http://www.webmd.com/ diet/healthtool-portion-size-plate). Some foods that have been shown to ease anxiety are those rich in omega-3’s such as walnuts, salmon, mackerel, and flaxseeds. Others rich in B vitamins such as legumes, oatmeal, and organic meats (not injected with antibiotics, or hormones) have been linked in studies to help ease depression. And multi-grain breads and whole wheat pastas and vegetables help the body maintain constant blood sugar levels for sustained energy throughout the day. The second way to deal with the emotions mentioned is exercising regularly. During exercise, the body releases chemicals called endorphins. These endorphins ease depression, and reduce stress and anxiety. Not only will you be getting in shape but you’ll be gaining confidence in
Being aware of why you’re reaching for comfort food is a great start in breaking an unhealthy cycle. making better overall decisions. All you need is 20 minutes. Start with two days a week and increase the amount of days when ready. The third way is to reduce the stressors in your life. Before eating for comfort, ask yourself some questions. “What am I feeling? Am I angry? What was I expecting that failed to occur? Am I stressed? What/who is stressing me? Will eating change this situation or person? Am I anxious or fearful? What is the worst thing that can happen in this situation? What is the best thing that can happen? Am I depressed? Is there a physical activity or hobby I can do besides eating?” Being aware of why you’re reaching for comfort food is a great start in breaking an unhealthy cycle. If you have not been making healthy food choices, take the time to ask questions. You can try journaling what you eat and the emotions before and after. See if there’s a pattern then decide how you’re going to deal with the emotions constructively.
Your
Woman of Dreams By Rosalind Humphreys
The value of a woman is based on who she is in Christ and is exemplified by how she lives.
She identifies herself by God’s standards and is not trapped by society’s expectations. There is no shortfall in her undertakings because all she does is in excellence. Perhaps you’re wondering if such a woman walks this earth and you would like to meet her. Shake your own hand. You’ve just met her…that person is you. Often times we have the tendency to focus on the negative in our lives, even though all of us brim with goodness, especially towards those we love. Everyday, we overflow into someone’s life, intentionally and unintentionally. Women are the heart of any home. Whether we’re married or single, our nurturing-instinct causes us to reach out to anyone in need. We’ll bandage a scraped knee with the same care of that of a wounded heart. Women give even when there’s nothing left inside to give. We do not give ourselves enough credit when credit is due and deserved. We lock ourselves into the next task, the next activity, the next event and continue our quest to meet any demand or challenge. We are the super women of today. We can do it all…or can we? So many of us crack inside and continue to push. We’re exhausted, discouraged and feel unappreciated. We victimize ourselves and put the blame of our condition on our spouses, family, and any other person or organization we support. We become resentful and our attitude takes a quick spiral downward.
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Why is it that we, as women, have such a hard time saying NO? God did not call us to be a slave to anything or anyone. Yet we position ourselves again and again to chain ourselves to things and people. We plan poorly and somehow miraculously expect that the 24-hour day will become 38 so that we can fit all we have to do in one day. A lot of us are intoxicated with the multitask power we possess but accomplish little or nothing because of our overloaded schedules. So how do we change this madness? Look at the strong, older women in your life. What do you notice? They walk with poise, are never in a rush and are always smiling. They’re wells of wisdom, have earned the patience award and have mastered the gift of discernment. They are the matriarchs and pillars of their home, church and community. These women walk in their purpose; they live in the reality of their destiny and will do it unapologetically. Ask any woman how they reached this higher-level experience and they will probably tell you that they discovered who they are in Christ.
When we make Christ the first lover of our lives, things change. The veil is lifted from our eyes and all the misconceptions that we have been taught or have convinced ourselves as right is exposed.
How do you discover who you are in Christ? It’s in relationship. It’s in the love-relationship. When we make Christ the first lover of our lives, things change. The veil is lifted from our eyes and all the misconceptions that we have been taught or have convinced ourselves as right is exposed. We understand that we can do all things but that we must plan with wisdom. We discover that we deserve to receive love, to be treated as a queen, and that we were not created to be a punching bag or a recipient of verbal or emotional abuse. We realize the authority that we possess and we begin to live our dreams and, in doing so, we set the example for our up and coming generation of girls. We live, breathe and impart joy because we refuse to live as victims but exercise the freedom given to us as a gift, and we share that discovery. We become women who strive for excellence in all we do, because we’ve decided to believe what the Word says and not what the norm is. Close your eyes for just one moment and picture yourself as the woman you want to be and become. Once you set your sight on her, make her your constant and daily companion. Invite her into your day dreams. Dreams are powerful especially if repeated in one’s mind. It provides the motivation, the map and expectation. It unlocks the power to bring creativity into reality. Women are incredible beings but haven chosen to believe the lies the enemy has carefully crafted. There’s an army rising up of strong women who have accepted their position and rightful-rank within God’s army. They’ve learned to say no on occasion. They’ve learned to plan, to care for themselves, but more importantly…they’ve learned to pour their love into God first. Don’t miss your opportunity for this lifetime. Be happy. Be fulfilled. Be the woman that you are supposed to be. Start now. Do it today. You will never be the woman you should be, until you believe in the woman of your dreams.
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Dollars & Sense
Young, Broke and Destined! L e z e t t e
C a r i d a d
R o u l h a c
Ah young and broke…the story of my life! Or perhaps the story of OUR lives. We live in a society where money is eeeeeverythang! If you have enough money, you can do almost anything! I’m sure that most of us have heard the phrase “keeping up with the Joneses.” I’m not sure who these Joneses are, but I’m pretty sure that I’m not related to them, and I certainly don’t live in their neighborhood. You see, American society teaches us that if you got the goods, you’re worth paying attention to.
Sometimes I see these young people, these rich young people, and I can’t help but look at myself and wonder if I’m doing something wrong. People like Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and the Kardashians don’t have to do much to draw the attention of perhaps millions each week…they get their own T.V. shows, they’re on the covers of magazines, in movies, they get record deals, and are exposed to opportunities that most of us non-Joneses folks don’t get. And I think that both you and I know why that is. Because they got MONAAAAY! And I must admit,
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sometimes I see these young people, these rich young people, and I can’t help but look at myself and wonder if I’m doing something wrong. “How come I don’t feel as successful as they look? Am I making the right moves towards a future that doesn’t look so BROKE?” But then there’s the Word of God. Thank God for the Word of God. Come on say it with me “thank You God, for the Word of God!” Because guess what? The Bible is chock full of broke folks! That’s right! Broke folks with destinies! Broke folks who were so rich that their stories have transcended millenniums.
Jesus saw the wealth in the quality of what was in her heart when she gave, and her desire to give. The first broke person with a destiny doesn’t even have a name. She is the widow found in Luke 21:1-4. Despite being lowest on the socioeconomic scale, she, along with her two small copper coins, stood out the most amongst the rich, all who surrounded Jesus, and the wealth of the temple treasury. Let’s be real, her two meager coins wouldn’t have contributed much. If I gave you two pennies and said “don’t spend it all in one place!” you’d probably laugh, but you might roll your eyes at me too for the sarcasm that we all recognize in 18 / SOAR
a comment such as that!! But we all know that’s not why Jesus acknowledged her publicly. Jesus saw the wealth in the quality of what was in her heart when she gave, and her desire to give, despite how meager and ridiculous it may have seemed. The second broke person is none other but our brother Peter the Rock. In Acts 3, Peter encounters a man who was crippled from birth begging at the steps of the temple gate. Right before Peter enters the temple, he turns to the man and says “I don’t have a nickel to my name, but what I do have, I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk!” When I read this I said wait a MINUTE!! Peter was BROKE!!! And what’s even more amazing is that the ministry that Peter was embarking on was only in its beginning stages. The ministry was still young. So how do you feel about being young and broke now? The word of God shows us that we all have something to give. And for many of us, it is in our destiny to give something that money can’t buy; despite how much money we may have (or may not have) in our purses. Zechariah 4:10 says “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin…” How small do you think Peter’s beginning was? I’m sure the widow in Luke 21 had no idea she was in the midst of a beginning. I want to challenge you, no matter
how young, semi-young, broke, or not so broke you may be; God has mapped out a destiny for you that is worth more than money can buy. Are you ready to begin walking in that destiny? I know the Lord will rejoice the day you do, and so will we sister!
Calling ALL
COOKS
Did you know that women of color are twice as likely to suffer from heart disease and/or a heart attack as Caucasian women? Every year the American Heart Association embarks on a campaign in which the organization strives to make women aware of a heart healthy lifestyle. Begin taking care of your heart by trying a few heart healthy recipes.
Spaghetti and Meatballs with Roasted Red Bell Pepper Sauce
Chicken Tortilla Soup
30 min Serves 4 1 1⁄ 2 cups per serving Cooking spray 1 pound chicken tenders, all visible fat discarded, cut into bitesize pieces 1 medium green bell pepper 1 medium rib of celery 1⁄2 medium onion (about 4 ounces) 2 medium garlic cloves 1 medium fresh jalapeno pepper (optional) 2 medium Italian plum (Roma) tomatoes 2 14.5-ounce cans fat-free, low-sodium chicken broth 1⁄2 cup frozen whole-kernel corn 1⁄2 cup fresh cilantro, snipped Juice of 1 medium lime 1 teaspoon chili powder 1 teaspoon ground cumin 1⁄2 cup baked tortilla chips 1⁄2 medium avocado 1⁄4 cup low-fat Mexican blend shredded cheese This appealing Mexican-inspired soup is a terrific example of how to enjoy a variety of vegetables. The baked chips and low-fat cheese add crunch and body. Lightly spray a large saucepan or Dutch oven with cooking spray. Cook the chicken over medium-high heat for 5 minutes, or until browned, stirring occasionally. Meanwhile, chop the bell pepper, celery, and onion. Mince the garlic. Wearing disposable gloves, chop the jalapeno, discarding the ribs and seeds for less heat. Stir into the chicken and cook for 3 to 5 minutes, or until tender, stirring frequently. While the vegetables cook with the chicken, seed and chop the tomatoes. Stir into the chicken mixture with the broth, corn, cilantro, lime juice, chili powder, and cumin. Bring to a boil, still over medium-high heat. Reduce the heat and simmer for 10 minutes. Meanwhile, crush the tortilla chips and thinly slice the avocado. When the soup is ready, sprinkle with the chips and Mexican blend cheese. Garnish with the avocado.
2 hr. Serves 4 4 meatballs, 1⁄ 2 cup pasta, and 1⁄ 2 cup sauce per serving Meatballs 1 pound extra-lean ground beef 1 slice light whole-wheat bread, torn into small pieces 1⁄4 cup egg substitute 1⁄4 cup fat-free milk 11⁄2 teaspoons dried Italian seasoning, crumbled 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce (lowest sodium available) 1 teaspoon onion powder 1⁄2 teaspoon garlic powder 1⁄4 teaspoon pepper 4 ounces uncooked whole-wheat Spaghetti Sauce 1 12-ounce jar roasted red bell peppers, drained 1⁄2 cup fat-free, low-sodium chicken broth 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour 1 medium garlic clove, minced 1⁄4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes 1⁄2 cup fat-free half-and-half 1⁄4 cup shredded or grated Parmesan cheese 2 tablespoons snipped fresh parsley A popular Italian dish gets a modern update with extra-lean ground beef and whole-wheat bread and pasta. Preheat the oven to 375°F. Line a baking sheet with foil. In a medium bowl, using your hands or a spoon, combine the meatball ingredients. Shape into 16 meatballs about 2 inches in diameter. Transfer to the baking sheet. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, or until no longer pink in the center. Drain on paper towels. Meanwhile, prepare the pasta using the package directions, omitting the salt and oil. Drain well in a colander. While the meatballs bake and the pasta cooks, in a food processor or blender, process the roasted peppers, broth, flour, garlic, and red pepper flakes for 20 to 30 seconds, or until smooth. Pour the sauce into a medium saucepan. Bring to a simmer over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally. Gradually add the half-and-half. Reduce the heat and simmer for 1 to 2 minutes, or until the mixture is thickened, stirring occasionally. Increase the heat to
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medium low. Stir in the Parmesan. Cook for 1 minute, or until the cheese is melted, stirring occasionally. Reduce the heat to low and keep the mixture warm, stirring occasionally. Spoon the pasta onto plates. Top with the meatballs. Pour the sauce over all. Garnish with the parsley.
Apple Crumble Coffeecake
visible). Do not over mix. Scatter the apple mixture over the batter. Gently fold in. Spread in the baking dish. Sprinkle with the oats mixture. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes, or until a cake tester or wooden toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Let cool on a cooling rack for 10 minutes. Serve warm. Let any leftovers cool, then cover tightly with aluminum foil. The coffeecake will stay fresh until the next day.
Check out a few recipes from their book Healthy Family Meals: 150 Recipes Everyone Will Love 1 hr. Serves 8 1 2-inch square per serving Butter-flavor cooking spray 2⁄3 cup uncooked rolled oats 2 tablespoons firmly packed light brown sugar 2 tablespoons plus 11⁄4 cups whole-wheat pastry flour, divided use 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 2 tablespoons light tub margarine, melted and slightly cooled 2 teaspoons honey 2 medium sweet apples, such as Fuji, peeled and diced 1⁄4 cup sugar plus 1⁄3 cup sugar, divided use 1⁄2 teaspoon apple pie spice and 2 teaspoons apple pie spice, divided use 2⁄3 cup fat-free milk 1⁄3 cup unsweetened applesauce 1⁄4 cup egg substitute 2 teaspoons canola or corn oil 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1⁄2 cup all-purpose flour 1⁄4 cup toasted wheat germ 1 tablespoon baking powder Here’s a fragrant, whole-grain coffeecake to entice weekend sleepyheads out of bed. The rolled oats, apple, and wheat germ make this treat as good for them as it is delicious. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Lightly spray an 8-inch square glass baking dish with cooking spray. In a small bowl, stir together the oats, brown sugar, 2 tablespoons pastry flour, and cinnamon. Stir in the margarine and honey. Set aside. Put the apples in a small bowl. Sprinkle with 1⁄4 cup sugar and 1⁄2 teaspoon apple pie spice. Stir gently until well combined. Set aside. In a large bowl, whisk together the milk, applesauce, egg substitute, oil, and vanilla. In a medium bowl, whisk together the all-purpose flour, wheat germ, baking powder, remaining 11⁄4 cups pastry flour, remaining 1⁄3 cup sugar, and remaining 2 teaspoons apple pie spice. Pour into the applesauce mixture. Stir just to combine (no flour should be
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“Reprinted from the book Healthy Family Meals by the American Heart Association. Copyright © 2009 by the American Heart Association. Photographs copyright © 2009 by Ben Fink. Published by Clarkson Potter, a division of Random House, Inc.”
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GET UP
Jennifer Reyes
some pretty difficult moments. But don’t let it keep you down. It’s time to GET UP!
Grief is never easy. The hurt can
paralyze you and leave a huge gaping
of healing. This could be the day you see your situation
hole where your joy used to be. To say
through different eyes. Defeat will only delay your miracle.
that you are a shell is barely sufficient.
Take a lesson from our two precious sisters of antiquity.
So imagine how Mary (Jesus’ mother)
Move forward my Sister, to a new day, a new miracle, a
and Mary Magdalene must have felt
new season. Despise not the day of small beginnings!
crucified, right in front of their very eyes. They didn’t hear rumors of it while baking bread; descriptions of his bloody body weren’t described to them while they drew water from the well. No, these women had front row seats! They saw his blood flow, they heard the nails pierce his body, and they felt the indescribable. But here comes the
22 / SOAR
like our two Marys, you have been a direct recipient of
Honey, this could be your day to receive good news. This
to see Jesus tortured, mocked, and
This could be your day of deliverance. This could be your day of healing. This could be the day you see your situation through different eyes.
you been experiencing a dark period in your life? Maybe
remarkable part! During, what had to be the darkest period of their lives, these two women rested on the Sabaath and then they GOT UP. They arose despite the pain, despite the fear, despite the hopelessness. Talk about sacrifice! All too often when our emotions have taken a beating, we seek solace in isolation but not our two Marys. They totally understood the message of the cross. They got up and were the first to arrive at the tomb, and they were the first to receive good news! In other words, they were the first in line for a miracle that morning! What about you? Have
could be your day of deliverance. This could be your day
Am I Enough? by Rachel Maldonado
You are here. You are enough. You have something to give.
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With all the hats you wear and all the responsibilities you have, do you ever ask yourself, “Am I enough?” Your response might be one of the following: I hope so. I try to be, but sometimes others’ expectations are overwhelming. I need to be, because I have nothing else left. I could never reach the level of what’s-her-name, so, no. I submit to you that I am not just enough. I am also unfortunately too much! I am too much in my head sometimes. I replay negative criticisms too often. I believe that bad things occur because I deserve it. I think that someone did not acknowledge me because I somehow messed up. I am super-sensitive and fall apart if someone tries to address one of my few personality quirks. I am overwhelmed by the reality of my flaws. I am influenced by the look of things. I am worried about the impossibility of a favorable outcome. Or at least, this was my reality for a very long time. Don’t beat yourself up for being too human. I came to a point where I despised myself and could barely take in my reflection in the mirror. Don’t do that to yourself. Refuse to aid the enemy in his quest to destroy you. Instead make yourself a tool in God’s hands to rebuild your temple. Find sufficiency in the resources that the Lord has made available in you and through you. Instead, ask yourself “Am I enough?” And respond the way God wants you to respond. I am because God says I am. Whatever I may lack, God makes me enough. I am enough because there is something that I’m meant to do before I leave this world. I am enough because His strength is made perfect in my weakness. When God made his covenant with Israel, God spoke of a place where He would establish His name. Allow your heart to be the temple where God establishes His name. When he first revealed His plans for the Tabernacle to Moses, God was specific down to the rings and clasps of the curtains. He was specific to the type of wood and the measurements, the amount of materials, the color of the linen. He handpicked the people who would carry the pieces of the Tabernacle, even the way they would be handled. God is that specific with you. He believes that to make an impact on eternity, He needs the temperment of your personality, and your sense of humor. He requires the texture of your hair, your limited hope, the size of your belly, the gait in your walk, the color of your freckles, your unsteady faith so that He can establish HIS NAME in you. Your imperfections are what allow Him to showcase His glory.
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Haven’t you ever been surprised by your ability to get through something? You are here. You are enough. You have something to give. You went through that divorce, sickness, loneliness, financial disaster, miscarriage for a reason, thus, becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about making a choice to believe the truth of God’s Word in your life. So that you could be a resource for the sister behind you who is for the first time asking herself, “Am I enough?”
Are You
“in the Hallway?” by Sandra Ford Walston
“When one door closes, another door opens.” How many of us have heard that statement when facing a particularly difficult obstacle? If you are in the midst of dealing with a difficult member of your community, confronting a challenge in your family or facing a new calling, that goodwill statement
probably does not help much to quell anxiety. After all, the real issue is not about whether the door is opening or closing, but how you deal with the place in between. You may know this place as “closing off ” or “going underground”— I have even heard it called “the room of a thousand demons.” I speak of this stuck or trapped state of inertia as “hell in the hallway.” Some doors close in a necessary and positive way, such as when you transfer your skills to a new life mission or complete a certificate that enhances your résumé. More commonly in our minds, the closed door represents a negative event such as relocating from a wonderful congregation or an inability to come to an agreement with a complicated community issue. During these times, we often find ourselves trying to heave the next door open by force. Determined to do whatever it takes to overcome this barrier, you might be vaguely aware that you are forcing the issue. If you are alert, your use of force (sense of discomfort) will tell you that this opportunity is probably not the right choice for you.
Once you have declared your willingness to confront your personal obstacles you have moved into courageous intention and the path ahead is immediately clear. Hell in the hallway, despite the frustration and sense of loss, provides a chance for introspection. This will shed light on your true heart and spirit intentions. We women often hold ourselves to a higher standard, which puts us under undue pressure. This pressure to achieve and succeed insists that we push wholeheartedly to open a door. The paradox is that by tapping into the reservoir of courage that already exists in each and every one of us we can open and close all doors with greater ease.
SOAR / 25
Consider slowing down to examine your spiritual and professional path
Sandra provides skill-based
by asking a difficult question: What is the courageous conversation I am
programs for public and
not having? Will you discover that you are stuck in apathy, self-doubt,
private businesses,
blame or full-blown denial that is holding you in the hallway without even
including Caterpillar, Inc.,
noticing the doors? Once you have declared your willingness to confront
Auburn University, Procter
your personal obstacles you have moved into courageous intention and the
& Gamble, Wyoming
path ahead is immediately clear. Fear is nothing more than being stuck, and
Department of Health
being stuck is inertia. So will you stay in the hallway or make a choice to
Public Nurses, Farmers
open the door? “Choices determine consequences,” Dr. Hawkins writes in
Insurance, Nolte Engineers,
Truth vs Falsehood: How to Tell the Difference, “which is a mechanism that
Wide Open West and
is really impersonal and operates automatically…. One then realizes that
Hitachi Consulting. With
there is no hand on the tiller but one’s own and that ‘I myself am heaven and
over eleven years of
hell.’” What positive lifestyle choices have you made to align your life with
experience with finance
your heart? You must act to begin the courage process.
professionals, she instructs
Recall and list some of the times you found yourself in the hallway wondering if and where the next door would open. What patterns do you see? What are your feelings? Courage opens doors. You have the answers that brought you to the hallway; they have always been accessible. Perhaps you’re where you are because, in reality, most growth in consciousness comes in the lonely hallway. Pacing in the hallway, reassessing your goals, delving deeper into your values — this may be the place where you discover your inner calling. Grant yourself perspective, the ability to see, be in and use the hallway as a positive growth opportunity. It is never the place to stay, but rest and reflect. Time in this hallway acts as a foil to the animated energy we need to claim the courage to act on what we know must be done.
for the University of Denver Graduate Tax Program Continuing Professional Education courses and she formerly taught for the Colorado Society of CPAs. To learn more about how Sandra can help your business cultivate success or to purchase a copy of her first book, visit www.sandrawalston.com or contact her 303.696.1010 or Sandra@SandraWalston.com.
Awaken from the poppy field of inertia, find your essence — your core — by applying courage! Giving yourself permission to claim and apply your
©2009 by Sandra Ford Walston,
courage empowers you and invites new challenges. It is a perfect starting
The Courage Expert. For permission
place if you want to multiply your talents and effectiveness, find your life’s
to make copies or reprints, please
meaning and escalate your success at work. The door is open. What are you
contact the author.
waiting for? Sandra Ford Walston, The Courage Expert, innovator of STUCKThinking™, is a learning and organizational effectiveness consultant, speaker, corporate trainer and courage coach. Specializing in understanding courage behaviors, individual personalities and leadership styles that focus on the tricks and traps of the human condition, the author/trainer facilitates individuals and groups in discovering their hidden talents. She is the internationally published author of bestseller, Courage: The Heart and Spirit of Every Woman/Reclaiming the Forgotten Virtue (Greece and Brazil). Her second book is currently agent represented. She is qualified to administer and interpret the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® and is a certified Enneagram teacher. Currently she is a candidate for an Honorary Doctorate Degree.
26 / SOAR
The other day, a Tuesday, I was having bad day. You know the kind of day when you feel totally inadequate to raise your children and to do the right thing by them, much less actually think you can educate a 13 year old boy all by yourself. The kind of day when nothing on your to-do list gets done and everyone seems to be having a moment but you have to hold out on your own until … I was feeling sorry for myself and I asked myself why do I even bother to do what I do for my family or my church and to then have the audacity to dream? I was set in the emotion of stay “there”. Don’t venture out, don’t take the next step, who are you kidding? Then I heard a still, small voice like I always do when I am visiting Funk Park and it said to me “Don’t you dare settle.” Like Dr. Grace Cornish Livingstone mentioned in her featured article, we all at one time or another reflect on if we are even on the right path ‘after all these years’, if we will ‘ever’ see the dreams we believe came from God unfold in our life or even if any of what you’ve already done is ‘worth it’. Those questions coupled with the stomach punching realities of life on a day to
The Last Word by Rev. Dr. Elizabeth D. Rios, CEFL Founder/Soar Publisher
SOAR / 27
day basis make us think that maybe we should just settle
settle for less than the best God has for me. Don’t allow
for what we have “right now.” In my daily devotional
yourself to get into a position of wondering why that other
that day, I read Genesis 11:31 “And Terah took Abram
sister ends up with something and realize today that you
his son, Lot the son of Haran, his grandson, and Sarai
had the same opportunity and passed it up.
his daughter-in-law, his son Abram’s wife, and they went forth together to go from Ur of the Chaldees into the
“There’s no rule that says GOD can
land of Canaan; but when they came to Haran, they
only deliver by using a big army. No
settled there.” Those last three words jumped at me.
one can stop GOD from saving when he sets his mind to it.”
I believe Terah, Abraham’s father failed to take an opportunity God wanted him to take. God wanted
MAYBE if we keep walking, keep believing, keep trusting
him to go “all the way” to Canaan, but along the way,
God, and stop wondering how he’ll come through, He may
he settled. He and his family started their journey to
just blow our minds in 2010. We women want the entire
one place and before they reached their goal, their
plan laid out, we want to have it all together before we
travels became so difficult they settled. They settled
step out because we fear failure so greatly but sometimes
for much less than God had for them because they
Sis, we have to move out on a maybe! If you read on in
did not want to press past the pain, through the
Gen 11:32 it says that “Terah lived 205 years; and Terah
drama, and keep going.
died in Haran.” Many people settle somewhere and die in
The next day, a Wednesday, God spoke to me even louder. My husband preached a sermon at church titled, “When All You Have is a Maybe” based on 1 Samuel 14:6 “ Jonathan said to his armor bearer, “Come on now, let’s go across to these uncircumcised pagans. Maybe GOD will work for us. There’s no rule that says GOD can only deliver by using a big army. No one can stop GOD from saving when he sets his mind to it.” Those two jolts of Word in two days confirmed to me that even though I don’t know how things will work, even though I get tired of holding on sometimes and am holding on to a very thin cord on most days, I dare not 28 / SOAR
that place. They may not die physically, but their dreams die; their visions die; their passion dies, their zeal dies. Their enthusiasm for life dies! Why? Because they gave up, they did not press in for the best God had for them. We at Soar want you to be and get all that God destined for you and God wants that for you even more! So my sister, maybe this will be the year of some dreams realized for you because you kept going and did not settle. “Do all that is in your heart, I am with you heart and soul.” (1 Samuel 14:6-7) Fanning your flame,
The Top Five
A Look at Dr. Liz’s Fav 2010 Reading List.... so far!!
I love reading and I believe in every leader reading and every reader leading! Our theology, perspectives, and Christian world-view are changed and challenged when a book is picked up.
Here are some of my favorites so far in 2010:
1
Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God by Francis Chan Francis Chan is a pastor and the president of Eternity Bible College in California. He’s written Crazy Love as a challenge to make believers really think about God’s love for us and how the Creator of the Universe demonstrated crazy, passionate love through the sacrifice of his Son, Jesus Christ. Each chapter asks a thought-provoking, self-examining question to help you carefully consider your beliefs and actions toward God and about the Christian faith.
David C Cook; Paperback; 186 Pages SOAR / 29
2
Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit by Francis Chan Forgotten God complements the message of Francis Chan’s debut book Crazy Love. In this teaching, believers are passionately invited to move beyond an external, shallow awareness of the Holy Spirit and dive deep into understanding the “Promised Gift” of the living God. By “unwrapping” the greatest gift God left to his followers—the life-changing, empowering, helping, counseling, living Holy Spirit—Christians will experience a breakthrough into living as true and influential witnesses of Christ in this world.
David C Cook; Paperback; 186 Pages.
3
Put Your Dream to the Test:10 Questions to Help You See it and Seize It by John C. Maxwell I love John Maxwell and in this book he helps the reader ask the question...What’s the difference between a dreamer and someone who achieves a dream? According to him, the answer lies in answering ten powerful, yet straightforward, questions. Whether you’ve lost sight of an old dream or you are searching for a new one within you, Put Your Dream to the Test provides a step-by-step action plan that you can start using today to see, own, and reach your dream.
Thomas Nelson; Hardcover, 225 Pages.
4
The Top Ten Mistakes Leaders Make by Hans Finzel Although leadership is the hot topic on conference agendas and book tours, most people who find themselves in positions of leadership have little or no training for the role. They simply continue to make the same old mistakes. One of my favorite chapters is “Communication Chaos” because I’ve lived it whether at a job, in ministry or in a volunteer role. Trust me, we need to get this mistake corrected!
David C. Cook; Paperback, 224 Pages
The Leadership Challenge by Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner
5
I first read this book when doing my Doctorate degree and I was overwhelmed with the great information that I wished I would have learned earlier in my life as a leader. This book addresses issues the authors uncovered in research on ordinary people achieving “individual leadership standards of excellence.” The keys they identified--model the way, inspire a shared vision, challenge the process, enable others to act, and encourage the heart. We have all had bad leaders in our life and we may have even been bad leaders to others, but as leaders we should always be looking for ways to approve “our serve”. You have probably noticed you won’t learn everything in Sunday School (if you still even have that in your church) or in a sermon, so pick this book up. I promise you will refer to it alongside the Word of God as a Leadership Go To Book.
Jossey-Bass, Hardcover, 416 pages
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Helping women’s d r e a m s t a k e flight
NY Tristate Region Rev. Enid Rios Rivera Northeastern Regional Representative & Board of Directors Member 212-673-7868 l pastore@cefl.org Southern Region Rev. Edna Quiros Southeastern Regional Representative & Board of Directors Member revedna@cefl.org CEFL Founder Rev. Dr. Liz Rios drliz@cefl.org Soar Magazine Soar Editor-in-Chief Jennifer Reyes l Soareditor@cefl.org
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SOAR Magazine is a digital publication of the Center for Emerging Female Leadership, Inc (CEFL).