Celebrant Foundation & Institute
Celebrancy Today My Most Challenging Ceremony Woody Winfree Mila Martin Peggy Lewis
FEATURES Stands a Celebrant By Bonnie Salamon Life-Cycle Celebrant
Planning Your Winning Celebrant Wedding Show Booth By Marilyn Dion, Life-Cycle Celebrant
CELEBRANT TROUBADOUR Rites of Autumn Equinox Who Uses the Services of A Celebrant?”
#PASSNYS4189: Making Space for Civil Celebrants in Marriage Law by Elizabeth Phaire, Master Life-Cycle Celebrant Advice is Like Snow By Marilyn Dion, Life-Cycle Celebrant Walking the Labyrinth: A Meditative Path By Elizabeth Phaire, Master Life-Cycle Celebrant The way “The Camino de Santiago” By Kate Jetmore Celebrating Weddings in Different Languages by Kevin Leung, Life-Cycle Celebrant A Place of Honor: a Re-Interment Ceremony at a Former Potter’s Field By Holly Pruett, Life-Cycle Celebrant LASTING IMPRESSIONS: A Celebrant’s Tale of Her Father’s Last Days by Danna D. Schmidt
By Elaine Voci, Ph.D. Life-Cycle Celebrant
DEPARTMENTS
CF&I France By Solange Sybille Strougmayer , Master Life-Cycle Celebrant
Celebrant Certification Courses Celebrant Professional Development Courses Celebrant Foundation & Institute Faculty
ON THE COVER
Kevin Leung, a Life-Cycle Celebrant™
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wait a little longer to see to see their worthy contributions in e-print. The sensitivity with which our colleagues share some of their personal experiences, challenges and rewards of being a Life-Cycle Celebrant has been, for me as a reader, an honor to witness. All the articles in this issue of Celebrancy Today were selected with much love, gratitude, and respect. Enjoy the Fall Issue of Celebrancy Today!
PHOTO CREDIT Marilyn Dion Julie Keon, Anita Vaughan Holly Pruett. Danna Schmidt Cindie Wilding Marcia Almeida Elizabeth Phaire Diane Wilkerson
MESSAGE FROM
Charlotte Eulette CF&I International Director
FROM THE EDITOR DESK There are moments in life when we are simply stunned by the wonderful, creative and sensitive people we are fortunate enough to have working alongside us, and the contribution of such people to this issue of Celebrancy Today has been priceless. The Celebrant Foundation & Institute is honored to be able to share with you their contributions. Great publications must consider what of value are they offering to their readers; what are they teaching to their readers; what new insight or ideas can they offer to their readership. I have personally learned a lot by reading each article sent to us. Selecting what to publish in this issue of Celebrancy Today and what to save for the next one has been a Herculean effort, and I apologize to those that have to
Marcia
Marcia A. Almeida, Master Life-Cycle Celebrant, CF&I Social Media Manager & Editor in Chief Celebrancy Today
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“Genius is the art of appreciating and reassembling the piecemeal beauty of the wisdom of the earth.” Martin Goodman, from his book, I Was Carlos Castaneda -
Charlotte Eulette, CF&I Int’l Dir
I find myself reading Martin Goodman’s quote over and over again, and it gets even tastier and more divine every time! I instantly relate his words to our super Celebrant family and the great ceremonies all of you co-create with and for your client honorees. The art of your Celebrant profession/pro-passion is genius at its most brilliant. Celebrant-created ceremonies shine like a fine cut gem: as you hold it in your hand and turn it in the light, the gem and all its many facets reveal themselves anew. Celebrant ceremonies are brilliant and the light they create reflects deep into our souls to gently warm and heal. Celebrants - the elegance and eloquence you bring to each and every ceremony and ritual you create is appreciated by all. Thank you. The publication of the Celebrant Foundation & Institute’s Celebrancy Today Newsletter - we affectionately call it the “Troubadour” - calls us all back together as Summer ends, so that we may experience the wisdom of the earth in the Fall. What new gems are waiting for you (our beloved Celebrants) to work your supernatural magic? “The Troubadour” is full of great stories from wise and generous Celebrants near and far. Some articles were previously published in other magazines and we are republishing them because they were so darn good! We also invite you join us for our spectacular CF&I Fall 2016 academics session, which begins the week of September 26th. New and revitalized Certified Life-Cycle Celebrant certification courses and professional development courses have been continuously and lovingly in the making and are now ready for you! You can review our CF&I Fall 2016 Registration Packet (sent to you via email). The packet includes interview recordings with the savvy CF&I faculty who designed and developed these courses, all of which are available this Fall 2016 semester. Here are some recordings that will give you a taste of our new courses: LGBTQ LIFE-CYCLE CEREMONY WORKSHOP Interview with Anita Vaughan & Mila Martin, course Teachers and Developers: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BzaE0AH93hCgb3pZTDE1MFZlVVk/view?usp=sharing CELEBRANT BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT Interview with Elisa Chase, course Teacher and Developer:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BzaE0AH93hCgTjMtNkRXNlBhNWs/view?usp=sharing MONEY MATTERS Interview with Kim Kirkley, course Teacher and Developer: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BzaE0AH93hCgc2JwS05UMG1XUzQ/view?usp=sharing WEDDING CELEBRANT REFRESHER (this course is offered in January 2017, the rest of our courses begin September 2016) Interview with Mila Martin, course Teacher and Developer: https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BzaE0AH93hCgRXJvNUNTclFHMjQ Note: The Wedding Refresher recording is a little scratchy, but it gets better – just so you know. On behalf of Gaile Sarma and Pat Sarma (our Founders), Marcia Almeida (the super-duper, gracious and talented creator of our newsletter (and so much more!)), our 21 Faculty members, our 40 Chapter Facilitators, our snappy office staff and volunteers, our amazing Tech Team, our Board, and our tireless and gifted CF&I Academic Development Team, we thank you for being part of our Celebrant family and friends of the Celebrant Foundation & Institute! Welcome back as we reassemble this Fall with even more shining genius in the making! With love unlimited, Charlotte Eulette
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By Celebrant Bonnie Salamon’s
Stands a Celebrant‌ The yawning abyss lies beneath, Its churning waters foreboding. The woman stands at the crest of the bridge, In fear of crossing to the other side. At last, she see that a light shines in the distance, Crystal clear, illuminating. Within the shimmering aura stands a guide Beckoning, holding out a hand in support, Knowing that the passage cries of danger. Slowly the trembling woman moves forward. She reaches for the hand welcoming her to the other side, At the end of her journey, stands a Celebrant. His grief has tugged at his heart, nibbled at his soul, Sabotaging sleep, chaining productivity. His yearning for peace in this transition Leaks into his every breath, every heart beat. He is awkward and impenetrable in his own skin. A friend ventures there is someone to assist, But he turns away. Finally, giving in, he agrees to a meeting of discovery. In the hollow that represents his healing, his returning peace, Stands a Celebrant. The joy arises, prior concerns vanishing into the whispering air. Belief now vanquishes the missteps on the journey to the sure reward. Transition is accomplished through myriads of footfalls,
Each one a story, each one a small celebration of the Challenges met with determination every hour, every day. The elation tremendously ecstatic, too miraculous, increasingly growing. It cannot, and must not, be set aside without reprise, without celebration. How to share this triumph, these blessings, this miracle? One need only glance around or turn the corner, for there Stands a Celebrant. Each life a different story, each passage a revelation. And, at each threshold lies the path to the new person we become. It seems a simple thing, yet we need guidance to understand that We are the better for the acknowledgement and the enactment of the rite. When we are ready -- and sometimes when we are not -- we accept the invitation. ... For There Stands a Celebrant.
Bonnie Salamon Life-Cycle Celebrant bonnie@sunflowerceremonies.com.
May we reverence the village of presence In the stillness of this silent field. 6
Celebrancy Today Fall 2016
by Elaine Voci, Ph.D. Life-Cycle Celebrant
When you think of the word “celebrant” what comes to mind? Perhaps you see someone dressed ceremonially performing an outdoor wedding as I did last autumn for a young Hispanic couple who said their vows in a lovely state park with the golden leaves of fall on the ground under crisp blue skies. Or maybe you see a formal looking officiant presiding over the funeral of someone whose family is mourning their loss and participating in a personalized service that includes a memory table, several heartfelt eulogies and poetic tributes that provide a fitting “soul sketch” of the deceased in an authentic, touching memorial service. But did your vision also include a simply dressed officiant helping a couple celebrate the adoption of their first child in front of a group of close friends? And did you see a casually dressed celebrant performing a house blessing for a midlife couple who have downsized into a smaller living space? Did you envision an officiant presiding over the five year anniversary celebration of a successful company whose services have earned local recognition for excellence? Each of these circumstances, so different from each other, put to good use the celebrant’s skills of storytelling, their training in the art of ritual, rites of passage and ceremony. Each event required attention to the goals and motivational desires of their clients to make the experience highly personalized, tailored, and meaningful. Celebrants collaborate with their clients to create and perform personalized ceremonies that reflect the client’s beliefs, philosophy of life, and personality, not the celebrant’s. Taken as a whole, these unique events demonstrate the wonderful diversity of people who choose to employ the services of a celebrant to perform ceremonies that help individuals, couples, and families mark life-changing events, milestones, and/or significant life decisions. Given the growing segment of our society who describe themselves as “not religious, but spiritual” it’s no wonder that the number of celebrant-led weddings, baby blessings and funerals is growing. In 2014, for example, 74% of Australian marriages were performed by civil celebrants. In the US, Canada and many other English-speaking countries around the world celebrants are increasingly performing weddings, funerals, coming of age and other rituals. 7
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Celebrants themselves are a diverse group and come from many different backgrounds; they are represented among various age groups, and have all kinds of different personalities. Celebrants may perform alternative and nontraditional ceremonies in places, and under circumstances, where mainstream religious clergy will not. Celebrants often perform ceremonies in parks, on beaches, on mountains, on boats, on hiking trails, in hotels, in banquet halls, in private homes, and many other places. As one wise and witty celebrant I know puts it, “I will go anywhere that couples want me to with just two exceptions: I don’t go nude, and I don’t do ceremonies that involve hot air balloons or parachutes!” The celebrant profession is an occupation that began in Australia and New Zealand over 50 years ago and has now established itself in the US, Canada, Mexico and Europe. The Celebrant Foundation & Institute is proud to be a member of the International Federation of Celebrants. If you are looking for a new career, come join us and be among the very first Certified Life-Cycle Celebrants in your community to offer personal, meaningful and memorable ceremonies for all life's womb-to-tomb occasions. Celebrant Foundation & Institute Blog Editor ~ Elaine Voci, Ph.D.
Elaine Voci is a life coach, specializing in end of life services, in private practice in Carmel, IN and a graduate of the Celebrant Foundation & Institute class of 2014. The published author of five books, Elaine is the Editor of the Celebrant Blog for the Celebrant Foundation & Institute. She is proud and happy to be our CF&I Blog editor! You can reach Elaine at elainevoci@gmail.com.
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#PASSNYS4189: Making Space for Civil Celebrants in Marriage Law by Rev. Elizabeth Phaire, Master Life-Cycle Celebrant As we enter the autumn season, we reflect with gratitude on a very productive year of advocacy for Civil Celebrant Bill, NYS#4189. This Bill will incorporate Civil Celebrants who meet certain education requirements, to the New York State marriage law, granting us legal authority to officiate weddings. With 4,000 CF&I Celebrants worldwide and 63 who are also Ministers in New York State officiating weddings, we generate nearly $3,500,000 in revenue for the State; this law would be a boon for NY. It would also enable us to more efficiently serve the State’s increasingly diverse population. The Bill was introduced in Albany last year, inspired by New Jersey Life-Cycle Celebrant colleagues who achieved the passage of this as an economics bill into NJ law in 2014. The first to break ground, it took them eight years of hard work, following in their footsteps we’ve made great progress in our second year. Leading our cause is Rev. Ronald Hunt, NY Lobbying Director. With his long-time experience and knowledge of the lobbying process, we are fortunate to have him at the helm navigating this journey. Some of us count “I’m Just a Bill” from Schoolhouse Rock as primary education on the subject, and so we are grateful for Ron’s guidance every step of the way. Generous help came from Charlotte Eulette, CF&I International Director. She submitted a memorandum of support to the Senate on our behalf and offered valuable advice in addition to her motivational emails. We were well represented on Facebook and Twitter by the efforts of Marcia Almeida, CF& I Social Media Director, and Celebrant Christopher Shelley who created the hashtag “#PASSNYS4189”. This year began with the uplifting news that Assemblywoman Latoya Joyner and Senator Tony Avella referred our bills to the Judiciary Committees in the Senate and Assembly for hearings, taking us one step further than last year. Celebrants Roberta Koepfer, Kim Kirkley and others took trips to Albany or local offices; and either accompanied by Ron or alone, met with their respective Senators, Assemblywomen and Assemblymen. Patricia Bunnelle always showed up on short notice when Ron needed her assistance. In these meetings strong connections were made for our cause. Emails were also sent by NY Celebrants to lawmakers in each district, introducing them to the bill. There was a wide range of support from our representatives, including Sen. Adrian Espaillat and Sen. George Latimer. On January 29th a meeting was held with Senator Avella, his Chief Legislative Staff Rebecca A. Shehan, and Legislative Aide Marissa Meredyth. It was hosted in Celebrant Bettina Yiannakorou’s beautiful home. Several Celebrants on our team attended and spoke on how our work benefits us and our community, contributes to the economy, and gives New Yorkers and visitors an opportunity to have a personal and meaningful wedding ceremony. Speakers included: Sacha Jones, Kim Kirkley, Christopher Shelley, and Bettina Yiannakorou, Jane Hughes Gignoux, and Gerry Fierst. Additional attendees were: Alice Soloway, Lasonta Diamond, Larissa Martell, Marcia Almeida, Danielle Kirsner Giannone, and Funeral Director and Celebrant Joseph Kresek. Energized by the stories shared at the meeting, Senator Avella requested that the Bill be placed on a Judiciary Committee agenda as soon as possible. Upon the Senator’s advice, we wrote letters followed-up with phone calls
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to Senator Bonacic, Honorable John Flanagan, and Honorable Carl Heastie, urging their support of the bill and to schedule a hearing. The petition that I created on Change.org garnered 254 signatures from supporters across the U.S. and overseas. Through all of these efforts, we were told that we have the most successful grassroots campaign that New York State has seen in years. In early June the Senate continued to push our bill as a priority. Although the Governor’s office was exclusively prioritizing their own bills, they were open to considering ours. The Assembly overwhelmingly passed their version of the bill, NYSA8205, out of the Committee on June 2nd. Senator Avella made every effort to move our bill forward with the Committee; however in the end we were blocked by one Senator. It is very disappointing that one person can subvert the work of so many. However we gained significant momentum this year and are bolstered by all of the support that we received. Moving forward, Rev. Ronald Hunt offers these words of encouragement. “As with many things in life, we struggle to reach a tipping point where everyone can see and accept that our cause is just. We’re extremely close in getting the bill passed. If you haven’t participated, know that you are still needed. If you have participated, love and thanks to you.” Discussions with Senators will continue in December of this year when the new session begins, and we’ll devise a new strategy. To receive notifications of how you can help with the bill, please contact Ron at: 1CFIPAC@gmail.com. Please also sign our Change.org petition and share it with others. Whether you live in NY, or in another state or country, your signature will make a difference: https://www.change.org/p/vote-civil-celebrants-for-diverseweddings-in-nypassnys4189?recruiter=99806480&utm_source=share_petition &utm_medium=copylink With election season upon us, it’s vitally important to support and vote for those representatives who will be allies in our mission. So please be sure to research your local candidates, volunteer where you can, and vote. Deepest thanks to each of you who contributed by writing letters, emails, making phone calls, posting on social media, gathering signatures and cheering us on. We’ll continue paving the way together, for ours and future generations to enjoy the legal right to a personalized ceremony by a Civil Celebrant. In the words of President Barack Obama: “Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it’s not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test isn’t whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. It’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.” Raising a glass, here’s to perseverance and making NYS4189 a law in 2017!
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Trailblazing the Passage of NY State Wedding Celebrant ~Bill NYS4189~
lob·byˈläbē/verb gerund or present participle: lobbying seek to influence (a politician or public official) on an issue. NYS4189 - This bill will allow properly trained graduates to be recognized as professional officiants, and do away with the additional requirement of ministry for us.
NYS4189
It takes time and effort, and we are blessed with a core group of Celebrants, that think creatively, and bring others along. Writing a letter, sending an email, making a phone call becomes a veritable tsunami of support. Face to face lobbying connects us with those staff members who need Celebrants for their outdoor non-religious ceremonies. Those are the connections that we have made along the way, and they convince their Senators of the importance of our bill. There is more work to be done, but the power of Celebrants is moving this bill along! Assuredly, the most heartfelt unique and meaningful Ceremony, you have ever experienced. Celebrant Ron Hunt, NY Celebrant Advocacy Director celebrantronhunt@yahoo.com
Celebrant Foundation & Institute
We asked Marilyn to please tell us how Celebrants can best take their show on the road/ as an exhibitor at a Wedding event.
mentioning some ideas I would like to discuss to contribute to the value of the show. The meeting was set up and I spent an hour and a half pitching the idea I had to open the fashion show, A Parade of Gowns, with a hand-fasting ritual. I read the Blessing of the Hands and explained how this could set the tone. I offered to open the show with a Welcome and sent her what I wrote for approval.
by Life-Cycle Celebrant Marilyn Dion
Do your homework The first step for me was research. I went online to search out local wedding shows. As it turns out there was a show the evening of April 1 called the Ancaster Wedding Show at Night. After paying my admission, I explained my purpose there as an inquisitive officiant and proceeded to spend the entire evening chatting with the vendors. I was careful not to take their time when the brides and other visitors were moving through. There were no officiants booths or tables. I talked and listened and talked so much that I had laryngitis for a week! First Contact Once I decided that I wanted to try the show, I sent off an email to the organizer asking for a meeting and
The Contract After I received the official invitation to participate, I went over the contract with pen in hand. I noted for instance that lighting would be low – something 12
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my booth neighbour didn’t read and made a huge negative impact on her booth. Most shows insist that you stay until the very end. Set up time was an issue for me, so I requested an earlier time and was granted the request. Interestingly enough, I had no clue as to what booth I wanted, so I told the organizer that I would leave that choice to her expertise. The decision was made to put my booth beside the fashion show stage! Visibility was excellent for the entire audience during the fashion show. I was able to do my part to open the fashion show and return to my booth within seconds. My daughter was one of the models and I attended the rehearsal the night before to ensure we were all on the same page. Ordering Marketing Materials I realized I needed a banner, business cards, brochures and ballots. I also needed a flyer to outline the fact that I can put together ceremony package deals.
lettering was approximately $2500.00. A couple of mugs with my logo were created so that I could sip water during the show. Notebooks and thank you cards were also purchased. Labels explaining the rituals were printed and laminated. The decision was made to make an archway the focal point of the booth and a carpenter was hired to construct one made of cedar. Samples are all over Pinterest. It was important that he understood that it had to be easy to set up. Luckily I can sew, so I made beautiful see through curtains with a lace overlay. I purchased a chandelier from IKEA to hang from the archway – a friend wired it so it could plug into an ordinary circuit and mounted it so it could hang safely from the archway. I printed off 50 pages of ceremonies (not the entire ceremony) I had written, after removing identifiers and placed them in a beautiful scrap book for visitors to peruse. Giveaway This is probably the most important part of your booth to get a qualified leads contact list. A draw was important to bring people into the booth – I used a $100 dinner for two gift card. Creating the letter to follow up should be done in advance and sent out within the first few days of the
I decided to have my car lettered with my new logo that had been specifically designed for my company – parking lot presence. Total costs for the booth rental, banner and stand, 1,000 brochures, 100 high end business cards (Moo), logo design and car 13
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show. Ask for that meeting! Planning the Booth – Stand Out! The 10 x 10 booth was equipped with two long tables. Refreshments displayed on lovely stands enticed people into the booth. Small fancy waters and a cooler of lemonade were on display – as were cupcakes and mini cupcakes. Beautiful napkins and straws completed the picture. Props with sayings like ‘Happily ever after starts here’ and ‘every love story is beautiful but ours is my favourite’ were used for ambiance. There were two bridal chair covers and two gold bling cloths rented for the space. The day before set up, fresh flowers were purchased and I created two arrangements for the archway and arranged the rest in containers to be spread around the tables. Lighted ‘W’s and the lighted word ‘Love’ as well as a series of tiny lighted crystals throughout all flowers were used. Crates were used to give height throughout the display. Plastic bins worked well to transport all the elements required. One tip is to use small children’s soccer balls between the breakable glass vases filled with flowers. You can also have a laptop with a video of one of your ceremonies. The Rituals The theme of the booth focused on rituals. To that end, I created a PowerPoint pictorial presentation that was on a
loop and set it up with a large monitor at the entrance to the booth. Because I wanted people to be curious, I decided to feature at least a half a dozen rituals and created cards to briefly explain each of them. I chose the Quaich or loving cup and used a two-handled china cup; the tea pouring ceremony using a Chinese tea set and lucky red envelopes purchased in China town. I have a beautiful carved wooden box with love birds that I filled with dollar store stones to depict the Blessing Stone Ritual. A large pink rose quartz sufficed for an Oathing stone. I felt that a purchased a unity candle set from Michaels required no explanation. Three handfasting cords including the one I used in the fashion show featuring crystals from an antique chandelier displayed well in a glass bowl. I used a conch shell and a silk lei I created to show the Lei ceremony. Some blank canvasses and paints were used for Love Art. I was going to actually make one, but daughter vetoed the idea! The tiny easels I used to prop the display explanations were dollar store purchases. 14
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Interacting with Vendors I was able to observe the DJ as equipment was being set up and took an opportunity to introduce myself. I mentioned my role and requested a headset mike in order to keep my hands free for the ritual. I confirmed that he had received a one paragraph introduction on myself and thanked him for his help. Next time, I will have a cue sheet made on card in large print as we Celebrants provide at weddings.
over talk and thankfully my daughter pointed this out – let the visitors browse and ask you questions. Self Care Bring snacks and drinks with you and remember your cords to recharge your phone. I was able to enlist my daughter’s support speaking with people. She enabled me to take bathroom breaks as required. Conclusions Though the initial expense of this project was quite high, I feel I am ready for the next show. I have an appointment next week with a bride who is interested in my total package. Some expenses will not have to be repeated for a while – banner, brochures and car lettering for instance. Renting the archway and catering just ceremony needs enables me to generate income with couples who may already have their officiant or want someone to handle everything related to the ceremony. Good luck and I whole heartedly my colleague Celebrants you do the same in your regions!
VERY IMPORTANT! Networking is important and I offer to recommend the services of my non-competitors and ask the other vendors to do the same. I spent some time chatting with florists and photographers, commenting on what I like about their booths. I ensure that I am always smiling and don’t get pulled into any negativity. I watch my body language and look approachable. I can tend to
Feel free to reach out to Marilyn at Marilyn Dion wovenwords@icloud.com
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By Elaine Voci “Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet confinement of your aloneness to learn anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you.” -David Whyte
Our lives have been seeded with meaning and purpose. The autumn equinox, a season of balance and of harvesting, will come to us in September. This is the time of year when the hours of light during the day and the hours of darkness at night are equal. For those of us living in the Northern hemisphere that means we are entering the time when the hours of light are growing shorter each day, and we are given an opportunity to regenerate and to go within in order to strengthen our creative selves. For those who live below the Equator, you will be entering spring, welcoming and expanding outward as the light stays with you longer each day. Whether you are looking forward to the growing light in your days, or to snuggling around the fire in the dark winter hours, we are all affected by this annual shift as the sun makes it way around the earth. Early civilizations were in tune with the energies of the equinox, honoring the cycles of nature and the shift in season. Nowadays, we have to more consciously tune in to honor the
natural rhythms of the season with mindful awareness. The harvesting metaphor of the Autumn Equinox prompts us to engage in reflective contemplation, and answer these questions that help us examine the past year of our lives, clarify our intentions for the future, and reenergize our life goals: 1. What seeds do I want to plant now that will take root in spring? 2. How can I best ensure that I am getting enough rest, sleep and time to reflect during the coming winter months? 3. What am I grateful for that I will harvest this fall and store over the winter? 4. What seeds did not take hold and now can be discarded, rather than carried forward? With our answers fresh in our minds and hearts, here are simple minirituals to help set intentions, and honor the processes of renewal, creativity and replenishment: 1. Plant some spring bulbs – all you need is a patch of ground to plant them, or you can use a few 16
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pots, and some potting soil along with several bulbs of spring flowers, such as tulips, jonquils, or other personal favorites. As you bury them in the soil and water them, you can say mentally, or out loud, what you specifically want to incubate, gather energy, and bring forth in the spring. 2. Clean a closet or a desk - throw away or give away things you no longer need to hold onto or that hold negative memories for you. Discarding them will clear the space and rid you of what no longer serves you so that you can make room for the new. Allow fresh energy to enter by cleaning the area with soap and water, or you can use a smudge stick to purify the space. State your intentions for the new space you have created, and, gently sprinkling the area from a small bowl of salt water, bless it. 3. Sew a small dream pillow - between two pieces of soft cloth (velvet, cotton flannel, or satin are my personal favorites) place some fragrant herbs and dried flowers, such as lavender or rose petals, and stitch it closed. Place it under your pillow, or pillowcase; mindfully bless it with your intentions stated out loud, and invite dreams to come
that will help you open to your wisdom and deep knowing. 4. Create a miniature totem pole – A totem pole represents the harmony between nature and man. You’ll need a few simple tools to transform a small length of wood (choose from any of your favorites such as teak, maple, or pine) into a colorful totem pole, including a scout knife, small chisel, sandpaper, a small paintbrush and varnish (for guidance, go to http://www.ehow.com/how_80 64861_make-totem-pole-outwood.html). Create a ceremony to bless the pole, set your intentions, and honor it by standing it in a pot with some spring bulbs, or giving it in a special spot in your home. The annual Autumn Equinox helps us honor the beauty of the balance between day and night, between activities and restful times, between productivity and contemplation, and it encourages us give thanks for our life’s bountiful harvest. I hope one of these simple mini-rituals inspires you to acknowledge and work with the energies of the Equinox , as did our ancestors, in this beautifully colored season of autumn harvest. Celebrant Foundation & Institute Blog Editor ~ Elaine Voci, Ph.D.
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For Those Who Work Alone By Diane Wilkerson
Almost every day, as you drive, bike, or walk to work, you encounter people along the way. You greet a bus driver, barista, guards at the door, and perhaps receptionist on your way to your space. If you’re a regular, you may enjoy a hearty greeting and a smile or two along the way. You meet and greet coworkers at the water cooler, coffeepot, or rest room and engage in light conversation, perhaps collecting more smiles. Perhaps this is a team-
building day, with a group meeting, picnic, or some other outing that allows you to relax a bit, have a few laughs, and interact in a casual fashion. Unless you are a teleworker. By choice or by chance, increasingly greater numbers of people now work from a home office. There are upsides, of course. No gas-wasting commute! Your own coffee! Meetings in your pajamas (if you aren’t on Skype)! All these benefits make for an easier day in many respects. Still, telecommuters pay for their perks through their lack of personal connections with other actual humans. Most telecommuter “meetings” take place via telephone, most correspondence comes through e-mail. No one is waiting to hang out with you over coffee (except for your cat, who doesn’t want to talk to you anyway!). As a telecommuter, you probably don’t get that external affirmation that comes from being part of a larger group. What to do? Connect with yourself. Create your own daily “commuting” rituals. CONNECTING • Welcome yourself into your workday. Take a moment to look at yourself in the mirror. Give yourself a BIG SMILE and say, “Hello! Let’s have a great day.” • During your lunch hour (OK, lunch minute), take time for some refreshing deep-breathing exercises. • At the end of your day, no matter what kind of day you’ve had, go back to that mirror with a smile and say, “Thank you.” IN CLOSING Receiving your affirmations and gratitude makes for a much nicer “commute.” And remember, all of the above works well for conventional commuters too! DIANE WILKERSON is Life-Cycle Celebrant® with certification in Weddings and Funerals. She and her rose garden live in Monmouth County, New Jersey. Diane can be reached at
Celebrant Foundation & Institute
We at Celebrancy Today would like to warmly acknowledge and show our special appreciation of our beloved faculty member Diane. Diane teaches Fundamentals, the first class in the Celebrancy program. Besides being a wonderful Celebrant, she is also a software engineer, a Consulting Rosarian, a Rose Show judge, the writer of the ritual found on the previous page, and an example of kindness to us all. BIOGRAPHY: Born and raised in Philadelphia, PA, I have a MS degree from the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, and a BBA from Temple University in Philadelphia. I have lived in New Jersey for 33 years. By formal training, I am a software engineer, and worked in the telecommunications industry for 24 years before retiring in January 2007. I currently work for a management consulting firm. I am also an avid rose grower, certified by the American Rose Society as a Consulting Rosarian and a rose show Judge. I am also an instructor for the Celebrant Foundation and Institute! CERTIFICATIONS/ORDINATION: Graduate of the Celebrant Foundation and Institute (Certified in Weddings/Couples and in Funerals/Healing) Ordained by the Universal Brotherhood Movement, Inc. Certified New Jersey Civil Celebrant MISSION: As a Certified Life-CycleŠ Celebrant, my goal is to provide unique, personalized celebrations and ceremonies that mark the important events in our life’s journey. Together, we create a ceremony that is memorable for you and your guests. The result is a ceremony that will always reflect your personal traditions, customs, and needs. I am proud to be a Celebrant, and this pride is reflected in the ceremonies that I create for my clients!
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By Marilyn Dion I can remember 28 or so years ago when I answered an advertisement for a job as a museum curator. My youngest child was an infant. The position sounded like my dream job – if only I could get it! Did I have the education for it at the time? No. Did I have transferable skills? Yes. To my delight and surprise I got the job and was introduced to my museum mentor. I will never forget her patience, her confidence in me and the one on one exchanges that built my understanding and expertise. She was selfless, with the goal always on the common good of the museum and its future. Raised by parents who exemplified volunteering and mentoring, it comes as no surprise that I cherish the privilege of mentoring to others. Having received the benefits of mentoring myself throughout my career, my purpose is to inspire and encourage you, our wonderful Life-Cycle Celebrants™ to mentor others. For me that means offering my years of experience and wisdom to fellow celebrants in our ever growing tribe. As you are all well aware, Life-Cycle Celebrants™ are something like the pioneers of the days of old – foraging along new paths, establishing landmarks and supporting each
other on our respective journeys. We have incredible access to information and a network that has been built by those that have gone before us. We consult each other, praise each other and extend hands of friendship across the miles -kindred spirits all! When we are asked to assess a new celebrant for the speaking skills segment of various courses, we agree. We share tips and pointers. In my case, I believe in what I call the ‘sandwich approach’, a technique used by Toastmasters to help train professional speakers. In essence it is this - a positive, a growth point, and a positive – a verbal sandwich. The method shelters sensitivity while boosting self-esteem – truly accomplishing what it is intended to do. I believe we Life-Cycle Celebrants™ are a rare commodity in that we are not directly in competition with each other and that the stronger we are as individuals, the stronger we are collectively. I asked one of my mentees her thoughts on the mentoring she received from me over the last year. This is what she shared: “It is with the deepest respect and admiration that I write about my mentoring experience 20
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with you. It has been just under a year that I completed the Wedding Celebrant training with CF&I and even though I learned a lot I was not mentally ready to deal with my first client's request. Marilyn is always just a phone call away. She calmed my nerves and coached me on how to respond to my client's questions. After I got the booking, she was instrumental in helping me to craft the best ceremony as we exchanged ideas. I came away from the experience feeling empowered and ready to perform more ceremonies. Having her as a mentor gives me confidence and I know I'm not alone when I'm struggling with a question. She is my role model. A woman who is funny, creative, smart and has a heartfelt desire to help others. Through this experience we have become good friends and my life is better for knowing her.” “Better for knowing her’ – I echo that from my perspective. You see it works both ways – she found me to help teach her, but I found her to show her what I have learned. Mentoring or coaching enables me to pass on what I know and what I have learned – things not necessarily found in books or articles. Practical tips, a few laughs, affirmations, ways that ground me and make life full and worthwhile. She contacted me through a mutual friend asking about becoming a Celebrant and I was only too happy to share my perspective and refer her to our delightful
Charlotte Eulette. I love hearing about her successes and sharing her joy. She thoughtfully drops off little gifts that make me feel special but her biggest gift to me is meaning and balance - mentor meaning. She helps me to feel that I contribute and that I make a difference – both to her and her clients. What is a mentor, if not the wise advice giver – giver of often crucial advice and in our case perhaps significant to an epic love story or exemplary life story. It is reminding another that they know it just as well as you do. It is another who tells you they believe, that they not only see the possibilities in you but reveal them to you. A mentor leads you through the briars and tumbleweeds of your own mind obstacles and blows them away with a smile and a kind thought. A mentor honours the delicate beauty in the individual and nurtures the sprouting seeds of uniqueness. When I mentor through TLC encouragement, what I do gives way to the opportunity for greatness as the mentee creates themselves – exactly as it should be! Take this as a call to action – be the best mentor you can be, knowing that, like in the words of Samuel Taylor Coleridge – “Advice is like snow, the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind.”
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Walking the Labyrinth: A Meditative Path By Elizabeth Phaire “The Light, it’s always been there, it’ll guide you.” ~Maz Kanata It was 1980 and “The Empire Strikes Back” had enthralled our cultural psyche. That summer at a church party, the only kid there was a boy younger than me who clearly had seen the movie too. As we ran off to play, he leapt and swung a plastic lightsaber which made electric whooshing sounds. “Han Solo!” he shouted. I wanted to be Luke Skywalker but he kept calling me Leia. Though she was a princess and I liked her side hair buns, Leia didn’t have a light saber or Jedi training. Growing up, the Star Wars trilogy was among a few key films that had a significant impact on my imagination and spiritual development. The concept of the “force” validated my experience of the world. It spoke to a truth, of a universal energy that infuses all things that could be harnessed for good or ill. As an adult I’ve explored how human energy can be cultivated by training and practice in various healing modalities. The movie prequel “The Force Awakens” was especially meaningful from a mature perspective. Some of the now aged original characters were called once again on a “hero or heroine’s journey. Best of all, the heroine Rey was a born Jedi who at first refused, but finally made the choice to accept her true nature and intuitively develop her skills. Mythic stories such as Star Wars aren’t just entertainment; they tap into the archetypes that live in our individual and collective unconscious. This concept was popularized by mythologist Joseph Campbell in his book “The Hero’s Journey”. Myths represent the journey each of us takes in life, the gifts we must claim and important soul tasks that call us, a call which we may or may not accept. Author Maureen Murdock expands on that theory in her book “The Heroine’s Journey”. She writes that the masculine hero’s journey is focused outward on achievement, cultivating power and control in the world. The feminine journey is a descent into our inner life, a search for aspects of our selves that have been lost or neglected. It is about listening to our deep self and nurturing our creative gifts. 22
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The archetype has awakened in this new year. What is calling us? With so many responsibilities and diversions vying for our attention, it can be difficult to discern “the call” of Spirit and our heart. Or we may hear it, but fear can create stagnation and prevent us from taking the necessary steps. Sometimes “the call” is challenging such as navigating an illness, and we need to gather inner resources. Alternatively, perhaps our plates are too full and we crave space, to breathe and be. A powerful, ancient symbol for this journey is the labyrinth. In our modern day it is used as a meditative walking tool, a way to “listen to our deep self”. Unlike a maze which has dead ends, the labyrinth has one continuous, winding path that leads to a space in the center, and the same path leads back out. One doesn’t have to figure out which direction to go, which allows the mind to relax into a more receptive mode. The shape of the labyrinth is a spiral, a fundamental shape that is found in all of nature such as the spiral of galaxies and snail shells, how plant seedlings and fetuses unfurl from a central axis, and the double helix of our DNA. Thus the labyrinth is a template of life, a symbol of evolution and involution. It helps us to remember our connection with the movement of creation. There are three basic stages to the labyrinth walk:
Departure When you enter the labyrinth you are leaving behind the outward focus of the “ordinary world”. The focus now turns inward to connect with your inner world. Much like a sitting meditation let your mind rest on each inhale and exhale. Another approach is to state a question or intention before you begin the walk. Let go of trying to find an answer, just pay attention to your experience. Walk at a pace that is comfortable for you.
Transformation As you follow the path, observe the feelings and sensations that arise in your body. There may be emotions such as worry, fear, anger, impatience, or you may have pleasant sensations such as lightness of spirit, a sense of freedom. There is no right or wrong feeling, and no need to try to change how you feel in any way. The task is to simply allow what is there and keep walking. If someone else is also walking the labyrinth, each needs to respect the other’s solitude and pass by silently. When you reach the center of the labyrinth, you may stop there and stand or sit for as long as you like. This space represents the center of your being, a sacred space to commune with God, a higher power or benevolent source of wisdom. This is a good time to pray, ask a question or meditate. 23
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Incorporation Walking back out of the labyrinth, most likely you will feel different than when you walked in. Perhaps you received an insight, a renewed sense of energy, clarity or calm. If nothing noticeable happened or you feel agitated, not to worry, the insight or energy shift may reveal itself later. After you exit the labyrinth, gently bring your attention back to the “ordinary world”. Each labyrinth walk is a different experience, as it mirrors the present moment and your current internal state. The labyrinth can be a powerful tool for self-development, to connect with your inner truth, access guidance, promote well-being and feel more grounded in your authentic self. Labyrinths can be found in many states across the US and around the world: in churches, gardens community centers, or you can construct your own. The Labyrinth Society has a comprehensive list of locations; take a look to find one in your area:http://labyrinthlocator.com/locate-alabyrinth If you have difficulty walking or cannot access one there are virtual labyrinths and finger labyrinths available which have the same meditative and centering effect:https://labyrinthsociety.org/download-a-labyrinth About The Author: Elizabeth Phaire is a Master Life-Cycle Celebrant ® and Interfaith Minister. She officiates personalized ceremonies for Weddings, Baby Blessings, Celebrations of Life, and other rites of passage. A faculty member of the Celebrant Foundation and Institute, she holds five certifications from the school. Her background and holistic lifestyle includes energy healing practices, herbalism, nutrition, meditation, music, writing, and performance poetry. She draws from these sources to help individuals, families and communities to honor their transitions with authenticity and creativity. You can reach her through: www.elizabethphaire.com and on facebook.com.© 2016 Elizabeth Phaire
WEDDING CELEBRANT REFRESHER CERTIFICATION – winter 2017
COURSE DESCRIPTION The Wedding Celebrant Refresher certification course is designed to bring CF&I Certified Wedding Celebrants up to invigorate speed on the most important aspects of being a successful Wedding Celebrant. This course has been primarily designed for CF&I Certified Wedding Celebrants who graduated in the past and feel they need a ‘refresher’ - or for Celebrants who desire to have more in-depth knowledge. Faculty member, Mila Martin lovingly and diligently created this 3 week course to benefit Wedding Celebrants by offering them the most comprehensive and important knowledge to revitalize their practice with the latest and greatest professional information to help their practice soar. Celebrancy Today Fall 2016 24
Celebrant Foundation & Institute
The way “The Camino de Santiago” By Kate Jetmore
It was a beautiful mid-summer day on the Camino de Santiago in central Spain. July 2001. I had hiked all day with Marie, a French woman with terrible blisters and Vittorio, an Italian ancient history professor who still lived with his parents. We walked for hours until reaching the shelter we would sleep in for the night. Run by an Italian association, this shelter was unlike any other I had ever seen. It was built in Medieval times as a pilgrim’s hospital and had just eight beds. There was an Italian family running it for the summer—a couple and their two young boys—and I remember practicing my Italian with the four-year-old. I was like a comedy act to him, I was so bad. And we sang and danced to the Manu Chao song that was all the rage that year. After settling in for a bit, I decided to take a walk. I know, it doesn’t seem sane to want to go for a walk after having hiked for eight hours, but the Camino is magical that way. There were fields of sunflowers in full bloom, and the wind was whipping the clouds into fantastical designs, and I met an ancient hiker with a mystical smile who never said a word. To this day, I’m not sure he really existed. Somewhere between the Italian shelter and the next little village, I heard the voice. It said, “You will help people.” There was no drama, I just heard it and believed it and accepted it. “You will help people”. That was fifteen years ago.
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Since then, I have become keenly attuned to this voice. Call it what you will. God. A higher power. The universe. My ancestors. All I know is that it is something bigger than me who knows better than me. The first time it spoke to me on the Camino was when it revealed my mission in life, but it wasn’t the last time. As I completed my pilgrimage, it told me to listen to my body, to rest it and wash it and feed it and nourish it in a way that I never had before. On the Camino, your body and your health come into full focus and you realize for the first time ever how important and fleeting and fragile these things can be. I took this new revelation into other parts of my life. My way of moving through the world began to change. I found myself spending time observing people, listening with a detached ear to others, and what I found was breathtaking for me. Instead of taking things personally or becoming irritated with customer service reps, for example, I suddenly began to see them as harried single mothers or people who were terrified of losing their jobs. Where before I had seen pushy folks trying to get to the finish line first, now I saw vulnerable human beings with fears and hopes and worries and dreams. And it was listening that did that. Let me remind you that I was now living in Spain, so much of my listening happened in Spanish. That degree of separation from my mother tongue made it easier for me to get some perspective. I would hear things and not react to them in the same visceral way that I might have in English. Imagine. Let’s say you share with someone that you want to make a career change and they respond with the words, “I’m not sure you’re ready,” you might get defensive, right? Rather than hear the actual words as spoken, your subconscious might translate them into something like, “You’re too immature” or “You aren’t good enough” or “You’ll never be ready”. In fact, “I’m not sure you’re ready” has some pretty strong clues in it that point in a very different direction, and when I heard phrases like this in Spanish, I tended to focus on the words themselves, not some possible, but unproven underlying intent. There is something very freeing about speaking another language. There’s no baggage there. You can’t skate along on auto-pilot, the way you do in your native tongue, and you can’t skate along when you listen, either. You’re so busy paying attention, concentrating on the words that are being said, that you don’t have time to speed ahead and assume you already know what the person is about to say. By definition, you have to be in the moment. There’s something very zen about that. 26
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Now don’t get me wrong. The flip side of this sort of listening is that it’s not easy. It’s not comfortable, it’s not familiar. It’s difficult, it requires effort. This reminds me of something that once happened between my husband and my stepson. Samuel was really struggling in school, so we enrolled him in a summer program that we hoped would teach him some skills to help him with his studies. About a week into it, he got back a quiz with a perfect score on it. He was elated. My husband was elated. Rodrigo looked and him and said, “See? You can do it!” Samuel said, “But Dad, it was so hard!” To which Rodrigo replied, “Yup”. This summer marks the 15th anniversary of my pilgrimage on the Camino de Santiago. The 15th anniversary of meeting my husband. And the 15th anniversary of hearing that voice: “You will help people”. Will I? Do I? Have I? I’ve spent quite a bit of time wondering whether I’ve done all I could with that prediction of the future. When I first heard it, I had flashes of myself digging wells in Africa, working with an NGO in India, signing up for Teach for America. But that is not the direction my life has taken. I am not a missionary. I am a translator and interpreter. I am a teacher. I am a hospice volunteer. I practice yoga. I am a singer. I am a LifeCycle Celebrant, creating unique ceremonies for milestone moments, including weddings and funerals. I am a wife, I am a mother, I am a stepmother. I am a daughter, I am a granddaughter, I am an aunt. I am a member of my community in Spain, and in Indiana. But perhaps first and foremost, I am a listener. Every single time I come into contact with another human being, I make a conscious effort to actively listen. And I believe that every time I do so, I am helping that person. This is not the way I expected to fulfill the prophecy, but I have no doubt that is exactly what I am doing. I believe that listening can change the world. And I believe that nothing else will. Kate Jetmore lives in Cuenca, Spain with her husband and young son. She spends her summers in the US, in her hometown of Richmond, Indiana. 27
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by Kevin Leung
My name is Kevin Leung, a Life-Cycle Celebrant™ and a Certified Wedding Celebrant in Canada, and a licensed Marriage Officiant in the province of British Columbia. Living in a multicultural city such as Vancouver, I realized there is a growing need for a multilingual celebrant who can provide interfaith and intercultural ceremonies. I felt that conducting wedding ceremonies in the native language of the couple or their families can help make the attendees feel more inclusive and involve. Over the past year and a half, I have conducted marriage ceremonies for over 240 couples in English, Cantonese, Mandarin, or a combination of these languages. Offering personalized ceremony that is tailored to each couple, and conducting it in a language that is native for their family and guests had been very rewarding yet challenging at the same time. One of the most memorable weddings was for a couple who were both born under the Zodiac sign Pisces. Since my wife and I are also Pisces, I felt an instant connection with this couple. Because of this and with the assistance by my wife, I created a special ritual for their personalized ceremony, which was conducted in both English and Cantonese. During the wedding ceremony, 28
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I presented a stone where I have hand painted the Pisces sign and asked the couple to initial their names on each side of the symbol. The image of Pisces is two fish that swims towards each other. This resemblance to the circle also symbolizes the unity of this couple, who were brought together by love, trust, and respect. The rock with the couple’s initials and the Pisces symbol is now a keepsake which will remind them of their wedding day and the promises that made to each other. Some of the challenges I faced when conducting wedding ceremonies in duo languages are usually related to translations and cultural differences. While a lot of couples do not mind sharing their love stories, some Chinese couples are too shy or have a concern about how their families would react as their families are more conservative. Thus, it is sometimes a taboo to share too much about a couple during their wedding ceremony. However, I still want to personalize their ceremony as this is a very special day for the couple. To do so, I will use a different way of presenting the couples’ love story at their wedding ceremonies, such as referencing Chinese traditions and cultures, and providing meaningful readings about love and family. Since becoming a celebrant, I am empowered to bring love and joy to those who are celebrating their wedding day. As love is not bounded by culture and language, I hope that my passion and ability to conduct weddings in duo languages has made the ceremonies more meaningful for the couples and their family. KEVIN LEUNG is the first trilingual (English, Cantonese, and Mandarin) Life-Cycle Celebrant he is specialized in performing wedding ceremonies
in fun, young and professional approach with interfaith and intercultural rituals all across Greater Vancouver. www.vancityofficiant.com
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The Celebrant Foundation & Institute certifies and trains Life-Cycle Celebrants™ worldwide in French and in English courses www.celebrantinstitute.org . Historically, French speaking people seem to always be ahead of the curve for cultural advancement and for over a decade they have been embracing having a Certified Life-Cycle Celebrant™ co-create and preside over personalized and meaningful, modern ceremonies to celebrate the special moments in their lives. Solange Strougmayer from Paris, is the Celebrant Foundation & Institute’s, French Language Director teaching live, on line Certified Life- Cycle Celebrant courses to French speaking people worldwide. She is a proud and valued member of the Celebrant Foundation & Institute’s faculty. Certified Life-Cycle Celebrants offer the following ceremonies: Weddings (Gay Weddings), Funerals, End of Life Celebrations, Survivor Ceremonies, Ceremonies for Families, Children and Individuals, Work related Ceremonies, Eldering Ceremonies and all Coming of Age Ceremonies. Feel free to contact Solange Strougmayer at: EM: _______________ WS _____________ Visit the Celebrant Foundation and Institute’s Website at: www.celebrantinstitute.org
solange strougmayer solange.strougmayer@wanadoo.fr A bientôt dans la rubrique "c'est en francais" Dirige, enseigne et a traduit tout le programme d’études pour les étudiants francophones du monde entier. Solange est une Master Célébrante qui a 25 ans d’expériences en tant que formatrice en marketing, coaching et communication pour des entreprises en France. Solange a plus de 10 années d’expérience dans l’organisation et la conduite d’ateliers de cérémonie et de rituels. Elle est graduée en administration, langues étrangères, commerce/ECSSAC en Belgique, et a aussi son Master en PNL, diplôme de Programmation Neuro-linguistique international (INLPTA).
Managing, teaching and translating to Celebrant program of studies for French speaking students worldwide. Solange is a master celebrant and has a 25 year professional background as corporate trainer in marketing, coaching and communication for major corporations in France. Solange has over 10 years experience organizing and leading workshops for ceremony and ritual. She is a Graduate in Administration, foreign language business/ECSSAC Belgium, and has her Masters in NLP, International NLP Training Association (INLPTA).
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aura peut-être rencontré un écho dans ce public, futures mariées ou nouvelles célébrantes. Le temps nous le dira !
A l'occasion d'une campagne de presse concernant le début de la formation CF&I en français pour l'automne 2016, Solange Strougmayer, responsable de l'école francophone, a fait parvenir un communiqué à des centaines d'adresses de journalistes et rédactions. Une réponse , une surprise, une demande d'interview !! Et voici donc une de nos collègues propulsée sur le devant de la scène et à travers elle, les célébrants certifiés de CF&I francophones. Et bien sûr en arrièreplan c'est toute la profession qui se trouve présentée. Maxi est un hebdomadaire féminin éclectique dont les rubriques sont variées de la cuisine à la psychologie du couple en passant par la santé ! Qui sait ? il
Les cours débutent fin septembre et les demandes de cérémonies commencent à affluer pour 2017 voire même 2018. On trouve les informations ici : http://formationcelebrant.com/news et les coordonnées des membres du "collège des célébrantes francophones" là : http://formationcelebrant.com/trouvez-un-celebrantcertifie (mise à jour en cours, nous sommes deux de plus )
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By Peggy M. Lewis,
New York City. Each of them was exhausted; they had struggled mightily with the issue of what to tell the draft board, and had not slept much the night before. One of them noticed that the other had an envelope with a return address in his folder; and that the address just happened to be that of the same psychiatrist he had consulted to get some support for his own decision. They wanted to be sure I captured the essence of that time in our history; how our whole society was ripped apart by this war; how hidden gays were, especially these young men; the reactions they might get by telling the truth to the Army people; and of course what the reactions of their own friends and families might be. Of course, they wanted their love story told‌‌‌.and it was indeed a good one! They wanted to fully express their love and appreciation for not only the support, but the desire of those in attendance to truly celebrate their union. They wanted their values of family and friendship to be honored.
Life Cycle Celebrant My most challenging ceremony was also my most interesting one. Two gay men, who had been together for 45 years, contacted me shortly after samegender marriages became legal in Florida. They had not given much thought to getting married after so many years together. But as they talked to relatives and friends across the country, they were astounded by how many of them were excited by the idea, and said they would look forward to traveling for such an event. They were moved to tears by these expressions of love and celebration, and so they called me. What made it so challenging? These are the important ideas that they wanted included: First, they first met each other during the height of the Vietnam war. They were standing next to each other in a draft induction line in 32
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Then, as I was digesting these themes and how big some of them were, they added one more. One of them said to me, “Our relationship has always been kind of like a long running ‘I love Lucy’ show. He is Lucy, forever dashing out with good intentions, and creating havoc; and I am Ricky, saying, with my arms folded, “Lucy, you have lots of ‘splaining to do!” Now here was a thread that could not be ignored! It was time for our meeting to end, so I asked them to choose one “I Love Lucy” anecdote for me to use in the ceremony. Two days later, I got a three page typed story called “Before the Flood and After the Flood.” It was hilarious------and perfectly written. So now I had four important threads to do justice to in a 30 minute ceremony. That meant every word had to add to the understanding and expression of all that was important to these two. And of course, we had to add a short reading or two to shift the playful mood of I Love Lucy to a deeper one for the moment of the vows; and the rings and the vows themselves (which they had each written themselves to read to the other; and they were not short!). I drove home thinking, how in the world am I going to do justice to all of this in this time frame?
And I loved the closing reading that I found for these two fabulous men. It was a most serendipitous find; I stumbled on it by looking for something else while I was in the process of writing their ceremony. Perfect timing! It is one that would work for any couple of “characters” who have been together for many years. Here it is: With mirror-like harmony, like the fugue of they broke eggshells and filled the woods with noise. The great transformer, they made the ‘forever’ contract fit. They taught us how to vow equanimity and forgiveness. They took each other for granted here and there but they didn’t fret. Did they sit upside down in a recliner and holler? Did they balance naked on one foot in a hammock? I can’t say, but there was something they knew. They pruned. They tended. They watered. They grew alone they grew together. This was an evolution of their souls. And again with the living ring
As it turned out, this challenge brought all of my passion and creativity for this work surging forward; the writing just flowed. And it turned out to be one of the best ceremonies I have ever written and delivered. It didn’t quite meet the 30 minute goal……….but it was less than 35 minutes!
they vow again. They wed.
When it comes to the milestones in your life, you want a ceremony that is special and meaningful to you. Together we can create a ceremony that accurately captures who you are and what this milestone means to you; the words that will make your hearts laugh, cry with joy, and sing on your special day. - Peggy M. Lewis, pmlcelebrant@aol.com 33
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This is the story of my most challenging ceremony. It was my first year as a Celebrant. When I booked the ceremony, I should have known it wasn’t going to go well. The groom said not a word at the meeting…just slouched and looked surly. The bride was fine…both in early 40’s probably. Anyway, she returned her questionnaire. Getting his was like pulling teeth and it had very little info. I wrote the ceremony which was going to be in their backyard…no rehearsal. When I arrived at their house about an hour before the ceremony, the bride was sitting on her front steps crying her eyes out. I was also very shocked at the neighborhood…run down and a little seedy looking. I went up to the bride and her friend told me that the groom was missing. The bride and her girlfriends had spent the night at a motel and the groom went there, very drunk, accusing the bride of being with another man…she wasn’t. Then he proceeded to trash the inside of their house and disappeared! I told the bride and her friend that I would be back in ½ hour. I drove to a parking lot a mile away to think. Should I go back? Was I in danger? What exactly was my role here? I called a good friend and we talked about it. I decided that I am not in the position to judge anyone. I was paid in full for the ceremony, had signed the contract that I would perform it. Sooooo, I went back. The bride was finishing getting ready…still no groom. I went to the backyard which was not very pretty, although they had tried to “pretty” it up. I waited until the appointed time to start….had someone ask the bride if the groom was there. Now, picture me sitting at a crude picnic table with a car under a tarp next to me….all of a sudden the tarp started to rise up on the side away from me….like a Delorean or space ship! The groom emerged, fully dressed in a tux, tottered over to the gazebo area, set for the ceremony, stood next to the best man as if the ceremony had started!! At that point someone came out of the house to tell me the bride and bridesmaids were ready. So I went to the ceremony area, spoke to the groom…no answer…waited for the bridesmaids and bride to emerge from the garage…sigh…performed the ceremony and RAN to my car!!! Lessons learned: Trust my instinct and don’t book a ceremony, if I feel it isn’t “right.” Check into neighborhoods, before committing to a home ceremony. I am paid to create and perform a ceremony. I changed the wording in my contract so, if I don’t feel comfortable on the day of the ceremony, I can refuse to perform it. – Mila Martin In many cultures these passages are observed with significant celebrations which include rituals, vows, and honoring of ancestors. I will craft a ceremony to reflect your individuality. We will work together to make YOUR ceremony exactly as YOU want it. – Mila Martin, life-Cycle Celebrant lamira6@yahoo.com
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Most Meaningful Ceremony
By Woody Winfree
I was hired for a small wedding that was taking place in the backyard of the sister of the bride. The sister, her husband and and the bride and groom were of modest means, and they had all worked hard to hold down costs for the celebration. They created a beautiful oasis in the fenced in yard of the small house. Splurges for the 40 guests who had RSVP'd to attend included renting table rounds, hiring a local caterer of certain prestige and ordering a beautiful, multi-tiered cake. At the noted start time, only four people had arrived. After 10-15 minutes it was evident that no one else was coming and that we should begin. I couldn't imagine how disappointed, even devastated, the couple must have been. In that dutiful, honored space of Celebrancy work, I knew that I was the one who had to shift the energy from disappointment into some sense of joy, and turn the focus of the couple, their attendants and the few guests toward the sacred purpose of the wedding. The couple and I stepped forward under the flowerdecorated arbor and I locked eyes and heart with them, and didn't let go. I held them in the tightest embrace. An embrace of the vows and words we had created together over the previous weeks - the real, most important substance of a wedding, the adhesive of a union of two that is intended and hoped to last a lifetime. An embrace that would last long after the festivity that was intended, and paid for, but not realized on this day. Out of the ashes of their disappointment, celebration was found in the intimate exchange we had with each other, breaking connection only slightly to call for the rings. The bond I felt with them was without question one of the most powerful I have experienced in this treasured role.
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By Holly Pruett
A few years back, a construction crew at the Oregon Zoo inadvertently discovered the remains of nine individuals whose lives had ended there, over one hundred years ago, when the forested hills served as a Poor Farm. Thus began six months of diligence and care involving the state police, the state Historic Preservation Office and Commission on Historic Cemeteries, consultation with three different Tribes, and a detailed archeological study. "Our priority," Zoo official Heidi Rahn told The Oregonian, "was to treat these remains with respect and ensure they received the utmost respect during the removal and future reburial." All parties agreed that the remains should be reinterred where they had been found: protected, private, with honor. In the future an educational exhibit would tell the story of the Poor Farm and the people who lived and died there. But first, the bones needed to be laid back to rest. On a March day, graced by a glorious spring sunbreak after a morning of gloom and drizzle, about 20 members of the discovery team gathered by the gravesite to pay their respects. After being welcomed by the Zoo director and a local elected official, I turned our collective attention to the remains of the individuals before us with these words: "Cast your mind back nearly 150 years ago to 1868 when this place was known as Hillside Farm, established as Multnomah County’s first Poor Farm. Regardless of the 36
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circumstances that brought these early Oregonians to the Poor Farm, or to be buried here in a Potter’s Field, and for as little as we know about them as individuals, we do know this... "These were human beings more like us than not, in their capacity for love and for grief, for joy and for disappointment. They had hopes and dreams. Perhaps they had a sense of another life beyond the one that ended here. And they left a legacy. Surely there were those who cared for them, who missed them, and remembered them. They may have touched others and shaped them in ways that have been passed down through the generations, perhaps even shaping who we are today. "One of their clearest legacies is in the respectful way their remains now are being handled. The inadvertent discovery of these remains connects us more powerfully to our past and to the stewardship of the land we now gather on. And, most significantly, case studies of the best practices established here by all of you will influence any number of communities going forward. For all of this, we approach the remains before us with gratitude." Because we did not know their names and because the specific spot would go unmarked to ensure protection in perpetuity, I invited participants to give voice to the nature of the place we were now imbuing with our presence. We scattered coins into the grave, honoring the tradition of providing fare for the ferry that symbolizes the crossing from one world into the next. We then ceremonially closed the site with shovels full of moist earth. After John O'Donohue's "Blessing on Passing a Graveyard," I offered these closing words to the construction workers, Zoo officials, archeologists, and others who had invested so much in the process: "Burial ceremonies are intended to mark endings and bring closure. Today we have laid to rest the remains of individuals we did not know but with whom we now share an enduring connection. This brings to a close the long period of diligence and 37
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care on the part of all who’ve been involved. You too can lay to rest your efforts on their behalf. As with any ending, the seeds are sown for new beginnings – the generations that visit the Zoo in years to come will learn more about the history of this place and the people who preceded them. Thank you all for bearing witness, for paying your respects, and for fully honoring the legacy of this sacred place." All gathered were visibly affected by the experience of serving as an honor guard of sorts for these ancestral remains. As one told me, "I didn't expect it would go this deep." Another commented, "I was very impressed with the interest and attendance, and by the connections that everyone made with the human beings whose stories are so bare with the passing of time. I am moved that so many other people were so touched by this." Further testimony to the legacy of those who came before us and the power they have to move us and connect us to place, to history, and to each other.
BLESSING ON PASSING A GRAVEYARD
By John O’Donohue
May perpetual light shine upon The faces of all who rest here. May the lives they lived Unfold further in spirit. May all their past travails Find ease in the kindness of clay. May the remembering earth Mind every memory they brought. May the rains from the heavens Fall gently on them. May the wildflowers and grasses Whisper their wishes into light. May we reverence the village of presence In the stillness of this silent field. Don’t you love arriving at just the right place without knowing it was where you were headed? Becoming a Celebrant is not something I could have predicted – but it turns out to be the perfect expression of my own life story. – Holly Pruett holly@hollypruettcelebrant.com 38
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LASTING IMPRESSIONS:
A Celebrant’s Tale of Her Father’s Last Days by Danna D. Schmidt Soul Practioner/Ceremonialist & Life-Cycle Celebrant® Waypoint Ceremonies
"We are each other's immortality. Each of us is a skein of lives stretching forward and backward in time, connecting everyone we have known, everyone they have known, and everyone who will come after us. We carry each other back from the threshold of life and death. Some part of those we loved is gone forever, but some part is ours to have and to hold and to make real in the world." ~ David Takahashi Morris
Sometime in the middle of September 2015, as the first brave leaves began to shift, my almost 83-yearold father decided that he was done with this business of living. He was doing what poet Mary Oliver so eloquently refers to as “breathing just a little and calling it a life,” thanks to his trusty oxygen tank. Dad had been residing in the long-term care wing of his local hospital, following a bad fall and subsequent hip surgery gone awry the previous October. And he was suffering from a perfect storm of ailments – failing heart, kidney and lungs. He was tired and he was ready to die. And so began an intense but soulful season of reconciliation, ritual healing and peaceful transition. As the leaves turned, we were given two and half months. Dad died in the wee small hours of the morning of November 5th, as I lay asleep in the recliner beside his hospital bed, holding his frail hand. Friends, family and my cohort of social media peeps were by turns, encouraged, inspired and aghast at a few of the rituals I enacted during the months before and after his death. Some of these rituals were intensely personal ones while others were moments I chose to share publicly on Facebook thereafter, in the interest of presenting a more artisanal and transparent approach to death, dying and grief work. The overwhelming response by many who were following along was one of amazement: amazement that I had the courage to face some of these moments, most notably my choice to witness his cremation. As I look back at each of these moments and what I’ve come to name my Stations of the Loss, I pin most all my courage on that first moment after he confessed his wish to die now. My wholehearted willingness to enter into the real and compassionate conversation with Dad, and dare to say yes to his dying and all that comes with it, paved the way for the remaining station stops. And although 39
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the rest of the journey was hardly easy, it contained incredible moments of great presence, truth and beauty. If you are at all curious about the power and possibilities such end-of-life moments might hold for you with your own loved ones, or are looking to determine if funeral celebrancy training is right for you, what follows is a glimpse of how I chose, in my dual role as grieving daughter and soulful celebrant, to infuse presence and meaningful ritual at each step along the way. Station 1: The Crucial Conversation Upon declaring his fervent wish to die immediately, I realized that Dad and I were long overdue for what I’ve come to “the conversation,” and by conversation I mean all of the unsaid words that had long since been pushed under the family carpet. I knew it would be painful to watch my father attempt to take leave of the planet with an old, rolled up carpet of regrets, sorrows and unresolved issues tucked under his arm, and so I said, “OK, Dad, let’s talk.” I remember Dad saying, “But we are talking.” And I said, “No, Dad. The real conversation. The one we have when we know that we have nothing more to lose than what’s inscribed on the inner walls of our hearts. That conversation.” “Oh,” he replied, in his tiniest voice. Station 2: The Healing Time That first crucial conversation entailed apologies and forgiveness work for both of us, and, I should add, a small infinity pool of tears. While my father and I were not exactly estranged, we were certainly far from close, nor engaged in what I would call life’s most honest and heartfelt dialogue. It was time to get real. To go there, I knew it was time to write my father a healing letter. Via a long-distance phone call, I spoke my lifelong truth together with my words of forgiveness, blessing and gratitude; and expressed my wishes for him, relative to other healing work and final conversations with other family members. We cried and he expressed his regret at not having been a better father. I also shared my beliefs around how we are all assigned short or long straws in life, and how I used to believe he was given the short straw in so many respects. I then told him that I no longer believed that to be true. Through this healing process, I came to a new level of understanding on our shared interconnectedness. So I told him I would be bringing him a bendy straw the next day which I travelled up from Seattle to Victoria, British Columbia to visit him, as symbol of this tethered journey we shared and as a courage totem to hold onto for his continued journey forth into death. I went on to write a couple of more letters to Dad in the weeks that followed. I didn’t share them with him but they were especially cathartic for me in this anticipatory grief stage. One of the letters was a series of thoughts and worries in response to the prompt, “You’re dying and...” I printed these letters before my final visit up to see him. The letters eventually found their way into a prayer bundle that I placed in his cremation casket. The essential gift from this Station of the Loss is that I was able to let go, in a very short but 40
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intense period of time, of a lifetime of unresolved hurt, anger and grief, making room for the necessary forgiveness and healing. I had shifted from my previous stances of indignation and toleration to this final place of adoration with him. With this enormous weight lifted, I felt ready to travel to the next station stop. Station 3: Lasting Impressions I ventured up to Victoria the next day. Dad was on some heavier-duty pain meds, fighting an infection, and in bad shape. I suspect he thought he was not going to make it through. While he was still somewhat coherent, I asked his permission to take his fingerprint impressions. I had brought an art journal and a black ink stamp pad for this express purpose. My intention is to make a mixed media fingerprint tree from these impressions as well as to make what’s called a fingerprint jewelry pendant. This imprint ritual, while unconventional, remains one of my most cherished memories from this journey. He was very weak but would sometimes try to help in the endeavor, pushing his finger onto the page, and thereby ruining the impression. The best impressions entailed the lightest, gentlest touch. And so I would begin again and eventually, he would nod off again and I would be able to get the perfect imprint from each finger. I took a bit more time later that afternoon to capture some selfies of us and a few video clips of him sleeping. I can’t begin to count how many times I have gone back to those images and video footage in the weeks and months that followed. I shamelessly evangelize continual documentation – video interviews and storytelling, countless photos and images of shared moments and activities – to any and all facing similar life moments with loved ones. When I finally hugged him goodbye that day, he clung to me with a fierceness that wholesale defied his frail health. On the ferry ride home that night, I spent some time studying these lasting impressions, marveling at how these imprints were his and his alone. No one else before or since would bear these finger markings and in this sense, I recalled the words of an Aborigine dying tribal elder on Oprah’s Belief mini-series, who lamented that when he died, his song would die with him. His words have made a lasting impression on me. Crafting this ritual reminder reminded that each one of us carries a sacred life strand and songline; and the potential for indelible impressions. This visit opened the way for a lovely visit during the weekend of Canadian Thanksgiving, where I was able to bring the family up. We found Dad had miraculously rallied and was eating lunch in the dining room. We spent the day watching the Blue Jays win one of their last World Series games against the Texas Rangers. I didn’t have the heart to share with Dad later that his beloved Jays 41
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would not go on to the final series. I managed to capture some great pics of Dad and the kids, and while a short visit, it proved memorable. It would be the last time either of them would see their grandpa alive. Station 4: The Palliative Presence Project My next two visits the last week of October and again in the first week of November were mostly about being present for Dad. His infection had since been treated, he was now receiving all his pain medications intravenously, and he had begun to refuse all food and drink. He also took to trying to take his air tube out any chance he could, believing, I suspect, that if he went without air, he might die faster. The curse of having a daughter who is a celebrant and hospice volunteer meant him having to endure an array of soulful poems, end-of-life blessings, and guided meditations. Dad was not a poetry guy, nor was he particularly spiritual, being a card-carrying lapsed Catholic and all. But he did love music, so Mom and I kept a variety of classical and soft instrumental music playing softly in the background and we took turns bearing witness to him in these last uncomfortable weeks and days. I also led Dad in some guided Stephen Levine meditations, allowing him to visualize releasing his breath and letting death breathe him. On one notable morning, I was showing him a text message and photo of his brother in hospice care near Toronto, who had recently been diagnosed with late-stage cancer and who had refused treatment. My cousin had wished to convey to Dad that if Dad died first, he was to swing by and pick up Uncle Frank on the way. As I shared the message and photo with Dad, he suddenly began to gasp and choke. Mom and I quickly hailed a nurse and got him propped up in bed a bit better. When I returned back to sharing the photo and message with him again, he replied, “Well where the heck do you think I was going?! I was on my way to go get him when you guys made all that commotion and brought me back!” We shared a long-overdue giggle about that, but it was a humble reminder to we had unwittingly violated his “do not resuscitate” orders. As it turns out, that would not be the day he would die. Nor the next, nor the ones thereafter that week. His proved to be a slow dying. He had gone more than a week and a half without food and water when I snuck back home for a few days for my daughter’s 16th birthday. When I returned to his beside the following weekend, he was noticeably more unresponsive but still generating urine output, a strong heartrate and a solid breathing rate. I kept checking his hands and feet for signs of body temperature cooling and bracing myself for death rattle breathing, but there was no evidence. I hinted to him on All Soul’s Day that it might be a grand day to make his exit. There was likely to be a party and parade going on in the great beyond and it might all prove rather auspicious. He was buying none of that though. He just kept firmly gripping onto the white bendy straw that we kept in his right hand. Up until this point, the straw had been a lime green one, that is, until a new 42
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nurse inadvertently threw it out during one of the shift changes. In these last days of his slow dying, many were beginning to speculate that he must be either waiting for someone or desiring to die alone. I’m not sure it was either of those things, but I do know that had there been a Death with Dignity Act in place in BC, Dad would have requested his death cocktail long before. During the afternoon of his penultimate day, I made a point of leaving his bedside and nestling myself in the chair by the far corner window as a way to give him more space. I also spent a fair amount of time off-site that day. Mom was officially beyond exhausted and so opted to go home that afternoon and attempt to get a good night’s sleep. Dad was now at the 16-day mark without food or water, with the exception of the small spritz of scotch which was his last raspy request to Mom the day prior. Earlier in the day, Dad had begun exhibiting more pain, discomfort and Lazarus-like movements with his arms, so we increased his Morphine dosage slightly, which seemed to settle him. The night nurse came on and immediately noted changes in his breathing rate and extremities. I sat with him that night as his breathing pattern began to slow ever so slightly. And such was it that in the wee small hours of that morning on November 5th, Dad took his last breath, as I lay holding his hand and asleep beside him on the recliner. I woke up suddenly around 4:28 am, looked over at him and could immediately hear that his air tank was now working solo. I stole a moment in that surreal space and time to be with him before calling the nurse, even as I knew this would mess with his official time of death. Not that we had any real way of gauging that, given that her last visit to the room was 45 minutes prior. We called Mom and I began preparing the room for her arrival. I knew she would not want to participate in a more elaborate death care ritual, but I wanted to give her the opportunity to take as much time alone with him in the room as she needed. When she arrived, I had the lights dimmed, the music playing, a candle illumined, a warm basin of water, towels, a washcloth, a comb, and a new blanket and hospital gown ready for her to groom and wash him. She took about 30 minutes to tend to him and say her goodbyes. After she signed the necessary documents and we spoke with the doctor (who seemed more interested in regaling us with tales of his moonlighting job as honorary consular duties than expediting our paperwork), we left the hospital and ventured out back to the gardens to collect leaves for my cremation prayer bundle and for his graveside service altar. I was surprised to see how she embraced this simple act of collecting berries, pinecones and leaves. I sensed she found this be a very calming experience in these minutes after leaving the hospital that she had spent the last year visiting twice weekly. With fallen leaves and other earth goodies in hand, we looked up to his hospital window and said the second of many more goodbyes.
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Station 5: DIY Casket Mom and Dad had pre-purchased cremation urns and plots at the local crematorium many years prior. Had that not been so, I would have directed them to be open to the notion of a home funeral and green burial, but alas, this was the choice they made at the time, which in retrospect, she seemed slightly regretful about, relative to some of the components. So while most of the details were well planned, there was one important detail we had neglected to clarify. This detail was the disbursement of cremains and it led to Mom and I having an unexpectedly fierce conversation at the hospital in that hour after he died, when she happened to mention his cremains and I reminded her of my request for a portion. Suffice to say that her portion definition greatly differed from mine: I was envisioning a full third of his cremains whereas she perceived a portion to mean a teaspoon of his bone fragments. (Cautionary note to readers: ensure you have this explicit and detailed conversation well in advance of a loved one’s death). Thanks to the intuitive and compassionate witnessing of the Funeral Director in our meeting with her later that day, however, Mom softened her steadfast resolve and I was able to “negotiate” for a quarter of his cremains. Oddly enough, her reticence ended up having nothing to do with eschatological beliefs and everything to do with the pragmatics of having purchased a tandem cremation plot and burial urn of a certain size. I then requested to be present for what is called a witness cremation two days later, something more than 90% of people opt not to do. I also asked if I might decorate his unfinished pine cremation casket and so that, too, was arranged for the following day at the Funeral Home. That next day, I showed up with music, paint and other art supplies and set about painting his casket black and embellishing it with washi tape, printed photos of him, some macabre skull imagery tissue paper, a black toe tag with white cautionary words to “Handle with Care,” and a plethora of white chalk writings. I had to work fast because there a memorial service scheduled for an hour and a bit later. So it wasn’t entirely what I would have wanted but it was infinitely more decorative than its plain pine beginnings. I ended up writing Celtic theologian John O’Donohue’s “Blessing for Fire” atop the casket, Rumi’s “This is Love” poem across one side, and the immortal words of Lou Reed’s widow, Laurie Anderson, across the other, in which she asks: “What is Death but the release of love?” 44
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As I was putting the last touches on the casket, memorial guests were beginning to arrive at the funeral home, so we quickly wheeled his casket out to the funeral home driveway and one of the newly-hired Funeral Directors asked if he could take pictures. He had never seen anything like this and was noticeably excited. I wholeheartedly agreed but not before I exacted a promise from him that he was to offer this creative grief ritual opportunity to others who might wish to do the same. While rushed (and stressful on account of accidentally spilling black paint on their rose-colored carpet in those moments before departing the chapel room), that morning remains etched in my mind and heart as a sacred memory I will forever cherish. Family members were confused. Why would you take all that time to decorate a casket that is just going to burn? they wondered. Because healing and ritual, I said, and the reality that all life is impermanence. This was a moment of art imitating life imitating art imitating death, and I wished to mark that. That night, I began preparing his cremation bundle, which included the letters I had written to him, notes of gratitude, flower petals, some leaves, berries, and tiny pinecones from the hospital garden, and his white bendy straw. I wrapped it in white tissue paper bound with decorative white rice paper, tied it with white string, and then finally, tucked a small farewell note card and a couple of tiny white rose buds to the top. I now felt a tiny bit more prepared to face what would prove to be an important Station of the Loss that next morning. Station 6: Into the Fire The crematorium was less than a five minute drive from my brother’s house where I was staying. As I preparing to leave that morning, I began to feel physically ill, so I forced myself to vomit as a way to dissipate some of my understandable queasiness. With a few swallows of water and four deep breaths, I immediately felt better and resolved to face the task ahead.
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The Funeral Director met me in the parking lot, where I then hopped into the hearse with her, and we drove up to short driveway to the doors of the crematorium. We were met by the crematorium operator, who was very polite yet guarded. Witness cremations, it would seem, are rarely enacted at this crematorium so I suspect he was as curious about me as I was about him. In this game show called death, Dad got chamber Door #1. When one elects to bear witness to a loved one's cremation, there enters this opportunity to carve additional spaciousness and auspiciousness into this particular sacred act of corporeal transfiguration. The crematorium operator is nudged and reminded into a heightened sense of duty, deliberation and honour. And the other chamber remains empty and silent in solidarity with those bereaved who dare enter as witnesses. In that moment as I looked at Door #2, I was reminded of the Edgar Allan Poe poem "The Raven," Dante's “Divine Comedy” and the chorus line of “Disco Inferno.” Odd where my brain wanders in moments where extreme presence and focus are demanded. I placed what I've come to name as my 4 G (grief, grace, grit and gratitude) bundle, first upon Dad's heart and then finally laying it to impermanent rest upon his belly, seat of the solar plexus chakra, associated with fire and the power of transformation. I did so such that it would burn upon and with the center of his body. We then closed the casket and I pushed the nondescript black button and held it for about five seconds. The hum began (I chose in that moment to reimagine the hum as Leonard Cohen's proffered sacred chord) as I watched the holy, high heat race its way on the thermal meter to consume his chariot, the bundle with its earth gifts, and Dad in one co-mingled offering by increasing degrees: 1600 degrees Fahrenheit to be exact. Into the fire, he was reunited. At this point I need to divulge that I'm no more courageous than the average person, not by a long shot. Those who know me well, in fact, know that my doppelgänger is a skittish chicken.
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I was able to show up on this day in the name of the Cosmos because I saw this as a full-circle moment from Big Bang intergalactic birth to cosmic death ~ and a primordial return, of sorts, to magic dust and God particles. After what seemed an eternity but was truly only a few minutes, I nodded my head, thanked the operator for his part in bearing final witness and service to Dad’s corporeal time on earth, and we took leave. We spent another half hour in the hearse chatting about witness cremations, family dynamics at funerals, end-of-life ritual and Julie’s personal road to mortuary science. I especially valued the opportunity to debrief with someone who shared similar life experiences, and who could empathize without judgment or ridicule. I note that because understandably, this Station stop became another endless source of horrified curiosity for others. How could you witness his cremation?!, many wondered. Wasn’t that hard?! It was beyond difficult, that is true, and yet it was also a strangely liberating and grace-filled experience. Bearing witness to such human transfiguration is nothing short of one of life’s most sacred moments. As next of kin, I felt a kind of torch-bearing transference of energy to be, in the words of David Takahashi Morris, “each other’s immortality.” Station 7: Graveside Interment Ceremony Most of the station stops had been, until this point, solo pilgrimage pauses. I was now fully focused on crafting his graveside interment ceremony, which we had set for the Monday afternoon, in order for my husband and daughter to attend. As I reflected on his season of his dying, I began to sense that autumn would be a theme well worth weaving into the ceremonial words. I chose to incorporate my turning leaf ritual which has enjoyed various incarnations in previous ceremonies I have crafted. I found a red, maple leaf and yellow heart-shaped leaf from amongst the leaves we had collected from the hospital garden, so I inscribed his birthdate with black Sharpie on one side of the maple leaf and his date of death on the other, and bespoke of autumn and these sacred dates as his full-circle season of life. We then tucked this leaf, together with the yellow leaf with the word agape written on it into the velvet urn bag just prior to inviting the others to place a small cloth heart inside the urn bag. For a benediction reading, I selected “Autumn Rose Elegy” by Rumi and invited everyone to place orange roses on his graveside urn at the end of the service. We played a handful of songs through the service, beginning with a powerful Celtic chant invocation of “The Beatitudes” (Owen and 47
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Moley Ó Súilleabháin) as nod to Dad’s Irish Catholic roots; followed by the haunting elegiac cello with “Wellspring” by Adam Hurst, as my father’s cremains were interred; and ending with “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong. The final lyrics proved perfect because just before the service began, the grey sky suddenly turned blue and the sun came out and stayed to witness. It was not so much wonderful as wonder-filled and the memorial gardens representative agreed, remarking that this was her first celebrant-led service and amongst her top three favorite graveside services she had witnessed over the years. She was impressed by all the customized music, rituals, prayers and other poetic words of committal and release, which she later admitted, were noticeable different from the usual generic interment services typically offered. Station 8: Celebration of Life We caught the ferry home later that same evening, and decided to defer his Celebration of Life to a later date, pending family schedules. My brother and his family had a pre-booked vacation to the Caribbean scheduled for the last couple of weeks of November, and we were hosting a French exchange student most of December, so it became evident that his public Celebration of Life would need to be postponed until early January, after the holidays. Not everyone was on board with this, believing, in that old-school way many inherit, that we needed to rush right into to “getting it over with.” Knowing that I was the one who would be both planning and officiating the service, I remained steadfast in taking my time. If I had it all to do over again, I would fashion the timing exactly the same way. I took those initial two months to just be with my grief, rest, and enter deliberately into the holiday season. I also took the time necessary to figure out how to authentically celebrate a man who knew enormous failures and imperfections, did not boast a close relationship with his children, and yet who was well-loved by those around him. And all was well that ended well ~ more than well, in fact. We hosted the celebration of life in the upstairs lounge area of my parent’s former retirement community, where several of their friends still lived. 48
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I continued with the seasons theme but also tacked on the motifs of sojourn and song to in order to tell his story linearly as a songline; incorporating story, songs and slide show imagery from each epoch of his life. His grandson played the Bach cello suites as well as a Frank Sinatra acoustic guitar and vocal tribute, friends shared memories, and the service was alive with an eclectic array of music, ranging from the Glenn Miller Orchestra to Dean Martin, to Eric Clapton to more Frank Sinatra, to the final benediction poem by Lawrence Raab entitled “Request,” with its nod to the toe-tapping song, “You Look Good to Me” by the Oscar Peterson Trio, which we played at the end as a final meditative tribute. Residents, family and friends alike came away with a heightened sense of who my father was in this life and the kinds of things he stood for. They were invited to write words of fond remembrance on tags which hung on the mini-tribute Tree and each left with a handcrafted beaded bookmark of William Stafford’s “The Way it Is” poem, together with a thread, as referenced in the poem. Following the service, all enjoyed a luncheon buffet together with minidixie cups of butterscotch ice cream, in honor of his decades of service as a milkman and ice cream parlor owner. Many people came up to me, astounded that such a celebration could be possible a full two months following his death. I advised all who commented that while the ideal approach is always a living tribute, how and whenever we choose to host such a tribute is good, too. It’s all good. Dad would have loved to have been present for such an interwoven tapestry of laughter and tears, stories and music, imagery and food. And as Lawrence Raab hints at in that benediction poem, perhaps he was present in some kind of ineffable way. Others I spoke with after were curious about how to go about their own good work of deciding what words, songs, stories and rituals they might like to include for their own service. I bemusedly shared how Dad was adamantly opposed to having any kind of memorial service and my subsequent discussion with him about that in the weeks prior to his death. I cautioned Dad that he may not get a vote because he wasn’t going to be the one left behind to grieve. He respected that. I shared some of the readings, songs and themes that I intended to highlight for his celebration of life and took his nods and hand squeezes as small yet affirmative signs of approval. I later suspected that Dad’s initial reticence was born of a fear that no one would show up to such an affair. As it turned out, there were 48 people in attendance and it was standing-room only. I want to believe that had he been eavesdropping on the service from the great beyond, he too might have warmed to the power of ceremony after witnessing how moved attendees were by the various service aspects. ******* All this said, the journey continues. There will be other station stops in the months to come, as I set about choosing a decorative urn as well as scattering some of his ashes in places ranging from his birth city of Toronto to the great waters of the Salish Sea to a sacred site or two in Europe this coming spring. As I reflect back on the intense whirlwind of this past season, I feel enormous gratitude. While I have always been a daughter, commemorator and artisanal human, I have only in more recent years claimed status as a certified Life-Cycle Celebrant with the Celebrant Foundation & 49
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Institute.® Never have I felt more honored to actualize this training and calling as I have these last few months. Helping midwife Dad from this life to into the realm of mystery and facilitate my own soul’s healing in the process, remain the two greatest gifts this Stations of the Loss journey has bequeathed me. It took courage, to be sure, but that courage was mostly about being brave enough to show up, hold space, bear witness, dare to add my own creative touches, and ritualize the holy heck out of the last station stops of his journey called life. Short of a Dixieland band parade, my father was well-celebrated and attended to at each and every step of the way. I know that had I not chosen to creatively and soulfully-infuse those penultimate moments with Dad with as many unique and personally-meaningful rituals along the way as I did, I would not have moved through this initial complicated grief stage quite so smoothly. And had I not been exposed to all the ritual options my celebrancy training has afforded me, I doubt this end-of-life journey with Dad would have been nearly as therapeutic or transformational. Like all celebrants, I sing from the song sheet that ceremony matters. This last sojourn with Dad has truly helped illuminate that belief a little brighter for me.
Compelling stories provoke us to envision a larger tale. They awaken our senses, cohere our hearts and stir our souls. When enacted ceremoniously – with a mosaic of gestures, sounds, tastes and imagery – our stories unfold as a beautiful witnessing. Your ceremony begins in the asking: How do I want to bear witness to this moment? – Danna Schmidt Life-Cycle Celebrant® danna@waypointceremonies.com
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Become a Certified Life-Cycle Celebrant
To become a Certified Life-Cycle Celebrant™, students must complete two courses (Note: both courses are included in the tuition): 1.
Fundamentals of Celebrancy – a required foundation course.
All students are required to take our prerequisite course called Fundamentals of Celebrancy. It is a three-month, eight-module class that covers all the elements you need to create effective ceremony no matter which specialty course you select. Week by week, you’ll learn Celebrant philosophy and history, ceremony structure, rites of passage theory, symbolism, storytelling, ceremonial public speaking, and introductory client relations. Fundamentals of Celebrancy Prerequisites: None Topics Covered: History and Ideals of Celebrancy Ceremony Structure Rites of Passage Theory Rites of Passage Joseph Campbell and the Hero’s Journey Ronald Grimes and Ceremony Creation Symbolism Storytelling Ceremonial Public Speaking Client Relationships and Interviewing Ceremony Observation Report Students will study and analyze the works of authors who provide the foundation of ritual theory, such as Rites of Passage by Arnold van Gennep, Deeply Into the Bone by Ronald Grimes, The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell, Rites of Passage: Celebrating Life's Changes by Kathleen Wall & Gary Ferguson, and The Art of Ritual by Renee Beck & Sydney Metrick. Fall Term: September 26th, 2016 – December 10th, 2016
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Celebrant Certification Courses FALL 2016 REGISTRATION PACKET CERTIFICATE COURSE CATOLOG & FACULTY DIRECTORY FOR CONTINUITING STUDENTS AND ALUMNI Welcome to the Celebrant Foundation & Institute’s Fall 2016 Session! We are pleased to offer our six core Celebrancy Certificate Programs this term: • • • • • •
WEDDING CELEBRANCY FUNERAL CELEBRANCY CEREMONIES ACROSS THE LIFE-CYCLE HEALING CEREMONIES (Advanced) LGBTQ LIFE-CYCLE CEREMONY WORKSHOP (Advanced) MASTER LIFE-CYCLE CELEBRANT (Advanced offered in the Spring)
And we offer these Celebrant Business Development Courses for our Celebrant alumni: • • •
MONEY MATTERS CELEBRANT BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT WEDDING CELEBRANT REFRESHER (this course is offered in January 2017, the rest of our courses begin September 2016)
CF&I CONTACTS: • • • • • •
Charlotte Eulette, International Director and acting Academic Manager 973.746.1792 charlotteeulette@celebrantinstitute.org - CF&I Fax Number: 973.746.1775 Mila Martin, Academic Liaison, lamira6@yahoo.com Solange Strougmayer, French CF&I Course Director: solange.strougmayer@wanadoo.fr Kathy Croghan, Office and Admissions Manager Administration@celebrantinstitute.org 973.746.1792 Mark Attalla, IT Specialist Techsupport@celebrantinstitute.org 888.643.9464
WEDDING CELEBRANCY COURSE DESCRIPTION Students will emerge from the Wedding Celebrancy course with the skills to create and perform personalized wedding ceremonies for clients of all beliefs and backgrounds. In this course, students will study: the role of a wedding Celebrant, legal issues affecting 53
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wedding Celebrants, wedding ceremony structure, processionals, elements of a traditional western wedding, common wedding ceremony rituals, how to create personalized, interfaith, spiritual and same-sex weddings, client relations and interviewing, rehearsals, ceremony performance, and marketing. In addition, students will complete a legal report on laws governing marriage officiants in their jurisdiction, a ceremony observation report, and a wedding ceremony writing assignment. Classes are taught in English and also offered in French.
FUNERAL CELEBRANCY COURSE DESCRIPTION Students will emerge from the Funeral Celebrancy course with the skills to create and perform personalized funeral and memorial ceremonies for clients of all beliefs and backgrounds and their animal companions. In this course, students will study: funeral ceremony structure, eulogy writing, personalized funerals, funerals for difficult/traumatic deaths, ceremonies for disposition of the body, client relations and family interviewing, ceremony preparation and performance, marketing, working with the funeral homes, and pet memorials. In addition, students will complete a funeral/memorial ceremony observation report and a full ceremony writing assignment. Classes are taught in English and also in French. *Required Text: Author Sarah York, “Remembering Well: Rituals for Celebrating Life and Mourning Death�, (2nd Edition, 2012 Apollo Ranch Inst Press). Please order from Amazon at www.amazon.com or contact your local bookstore.
CEREMONIES FOR HEALING COURSE DESCRIPTION This eight-module certificate course will examine the role of the Life-Cycle Celebrant in creating and performing ceremonies for healing from the most challenging events in life. Primarily using the case study method, students will learn the elements to include in a variety of healing ceremonies and brainstorm creative ways to move clients through transformative and powerful processes, keeping in mind the boundary between professional therapy and Celebrancy as well as the importance of Self-Care for the Celebrant. Prerequisite: Students must have completed (or be taking simultaneously one CF&I Certificate course [Wedding Celebrancy, Funeral Celebrancy, or Ceremonies Across the Life Cycle (formerly Ceremonies for Families & Children)].
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CEREMONIES ACROSS THE LIFE-CYCLE COURSE DESCRIPTION Ceremonies Across the Life-Cycle is an eight module survey course for students seeking proficiency in creating and performing personalized ceremonies for the milestones and moments that span the life cycle. Students will emerge from the course with the skills to create and perform personalized ceremonies to mark a wide variety of passages along the life spectrum for clients of all beliefs and backgrounds. In this course, students will study: ceremonies for dwellings, ceremonies for expectant parents, ceremonies to welcome children, coming of age rituals, milestone birthdays, ceremonies for midlife passages, personal sustenance rituals, marketing, and ceremony performance and practice. In addition, students will complete a ceremony observation report and a ceremony writing assignment. NOTE: GRADUATION CELEBRATION 2016 FALL TELE-CEREMONY/SHARE-A-MONY TAKES PLACE ON MONDAY, JAN 9TH 2017 AT 8PM ET. Save the date and invitations with info will be emailed and posted to all grads in advance.
LGBTQ LIFE-CYCLE CEREMONY WORKSHOP CERTIFICATE COURSE DESCRIPTION Promo LGBTQ Life-Cycle Workshop Certificate Course, Anita Vaughan & Mila Martin Creators talk about the course, link to the recording: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BzaE0AH93hCgb3pZTDE1MFZlVVk/view?usp=sha ring This workshop, a certificate course, will consist of three, one-hour and fifteen minute classes. Participants will discuss the history of the LGBTQ movement and talk about terminology and legality of same sex ceremonies in the United States and abroad. Prerequisite: Open to alumni with at least one certification. Participants will delve into the following ceremonies, Funerals, Ceremonies for Families and Other Ceremonies specific to the LGBTQ community. There will be discussions about Weddings and Marketing to the LGBTQ Community, the nuances that separate same-sex wedding ceremonies from wedding ceremonies for straight couples. Participants will receive tips to enhance their websites and promotional material. Participants will complete the workshop with a better understanding of their LGBTQ clients. Classes will include practical, hands-on exercises and will provide an opportunity for questions and answers. • History and Terminology • Family Ceremonies, Funerals and other life-cycle ceremonies • Wedding Ceremonies – Marketing to Your Celebrant Services There will be an abundance of readings and resources and a one thirty-minute, one-on-one mentoring and discussion (phone call) with the teacher subsequent to the workshop, timing to be agreed upon by teacher and student.
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Celebrant Professional Development Courses MONEY MATTERS - Your Hero’s Journey to Honor Yourself and Your Clients COURSE DESCRIPTION 5 consecutive weekly classes, including Student Orientation Meet and Greet Classes take place on Thursdays at 8:30 - 9:45PM ET, followed by a one one-hour private session with instructor Classes Begin: September 29th INSTRUCTOR: Kim Kirkley Prerequisite: Celebrant graduate Minimum number of students 3, Maximum number of students 25 PROMO Money Matters Recording Link with Kim Kirkley who talks about this course:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BzaE0AH93hCgc2JwS05UMG1XUzQ/view?usp=sharing
Kim Kirkley is one of the original Celebrants in North America and the first to create a thriving full-time Celebrancy practice. She is an author of many books, has delivered a TEDx Talk http://bit.ly/kimtedx, performed over 1000 ceremonies, including: weddings, commitment ceremonies, baby-naming ceremonies, funerals, and house blessings. And, Kim has been declared "The Officiant" -- http://bit.ly/KimKirkley -- by New York magazine and is based in New York City. "Money is congealed energy," said Joseph Campbell. "And releasing it releases life's possibilities...." Celebrants - do you wish you could ask for more money for your ceremonies without feeling uncomfortable or sales-y? Many Celebrants have learned how to build a powerful new relationship with money and their fee through Kim Kirkley's dynamic class, "Money Matters: Your Hero's Journey to Honoring Yourself and Your Clients." Questions to ask yourself about your Celebrant practice: Do you wish a seasoned ceremony expert would sit down with you and tell you -- her mistakes and her triumphs -- how she built a thriving ceremony practice? Would you like to attract more clients to your practice without feeling phony or money hungry? Do you love performing ceremonies but struggle when you think about people paying “good money” for your ceremonies? Would you like to become the “Hero” in your practice as you honor yourself, your craft, your family and your clients? Would you like to find a way to convert clients into fans – and actually have them ASKING for the chance to hire you as their Celebrant? Would you like to feel that your fees are in keeping with universal laws and help you to live a beautiful, fulfilling, balanced life? Do you wish you could ask for your fee with confidence and ease? Kim says, “In this course you will discover a system that will prevent you from subordinating your desires to your couples, making you the “Hero” in your life. We will develop tools and techniques to help you create a Celebrant practice that allows you to thrive along the “Road of Trials,” examining the “not in my market” fears, the “who do you think you are” fears, and the inevitable “yeah, buts.” We will examine your work holistically and help you to develop the tools to enhance your ceremony practice, standing firm in your enhanced sense of work and, ultimately, to make your work easier, more meaningful and fun. Viewing your Celebrant journey through the prism of Joseph Campbell’s monomyth, this course will challenge you to accept the “Call to Adventure” and live a life of abundant good.”
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Celebrant Foundation & Institute Under the guidance of Kim Kirkley, your sister Celebrant who has scaled these same walls and created a practice of love and abundance, you will embark upon “The Hero’s Journey”: • Call to Adventure – acknowledging that you would like to earn a really good living performing ceremonies • Initiation – recognizing that the time for passing through the threshold is at hand, you step into the unknown • The Road of Trials – overcoming tests and ordeals, fears and objections • Return – accepting the freedom to live your best life as you offer your gifts and share your knowledge with others Kim draws on her 13 years of experience synthesizing spiritual and practical techniques to free your relationship with money and what you charge for ceremonies. Combining proven comprehensive marketing insights with exercises to uncover the hidden beliefs, patterns and habits that sometimes subvert your everyday use of money and approach to success. Through easy, interesting exercise and worksheets and interactive processes, Kim will guide you to the creation of an easy approach to money and fee setting that helps you enhance your Celebrant practice and special contribution to the world. What students are saying about “Money Matters” with Kim Kirkley: Kim was an excellent choice for teaching this class. She clearly cared about the subject matter and, by example, helped us care about it. I really looked forward to class every week. She is an excellent leader and we are lucky to have her in the Celebrant community! ~ Kendyl Linn-Sanchez Kim brilliantly re-packaged and presented her personal journey, sharing the valuable lessons she learned from financial gurus, life coaches and from building her very successful Celebrant Practice. ~ Valerie Smith Great Investment – I’ve almost already made it back in my business because of the tools I’ve put into place. I already have recommended it and will continue to do so. ~ Jennifer Rogers WEEKLY SCHEDULE •
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CLASSROOMS OPEN FOR TEACHERS ONLY ON SEPT 12TH 2016
MANDATORY STUDENT TECH CHECK THE WEEK OF SEPT 19TH 2016. Mark Attalla, tech manager will be in touch with you to schedule one with you. STUDENT ORIENTATION CLASS, (MANDATORY) on SEPT 29TH 2016 . Your teacher will contact you in advance and get you started. You will Introduce yourself on your section’s message board and send a photo to your instructor.
BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT FOR CELEBRANTS COURSE DESCRIPTION 10 weekly classes including Student Orientation Meet and Greet, Classes take place on Thursdays at 9:00PM ET – 10:15PM ET, including two 50minute private coaching sessions with instructor
Class Begins: September 29th 2016 INSTRUCTOR: Elisa Chase Prerequisite: CF&I Certified Celebrant with at least 1 certification, and a desire to build a successful Celebrant practice. Minimum number of student 3, Maximum number of students: 15
PROMO Recording Link with Teacher Elisa Chase: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BzaE0AH93hCgTjMtNkRXNlBhNWs/view?usp=sharing Have you made it through Fundamentals, got one or even more Certifications under your belt, opened your heart to the path of Celebrancy but find yourself asking: “What do I do now”? Are you new to self-employment,
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does managing your own business seem overwhelming? Are you concerned about how to build momentum and bring sales into your practice? Celebrant Business Development is designed for folks committed to and motivated to create a thriving business but who are not sure how to move forward, what plans to put in place or where to turn to begin harvesting new clients and a calendar full of ceremonies. If you are already pulling in as many ceremonies as you want or need, this is not the course for you. If you feel good about your infrastructure, social media presence and sales position, this is not the course for you. This class is for folks who know they have a lot to do and are looking for help organizing the pieces, learning the ropes and creating their own personalized business roadmap to success. Taught by triple certified Celebrant Elisa Chase, who brings 20 plus years of business management and small business coaching to her 6 plus years as a successful Celebrant and course instructor. This course will put you on the road to success and provide insight and a wealth of knowledge whether you are looking to work in your business full time, or part time, for any or all of the Certifications offered at CFI.
This practice building program offers fellow Celebrants an extensive “window” to begin the process of building a full and rewarding Celebrancy practice/business. Each student will learn how to define their own roadmap customized to their definition of success. We will navigate the waters of marketing and advertising, social media, business development, organization and by the end of the course each student will have a plan of action and a tool kit of skills to implement a roadmap to a rewarding practice in any of the current Certification modalities. Whether you are looking to blend Celebrancy with an existing profession, or you are looking to work exclusively full time or part time as a Celebrant, this course is about creating your vision of your own business practice, and gaining the skills and confidence to launch into your future. Geared toward new Celebrants, renewing Celebrants and colleagues building their business from scratch. In addition to our time together, the class includes two private 50 minute coaching sessions (by teleconference). The course will include a weekly influx of articles, artifacts and references, a treasure trove of knowledge you will refer to long after our time together has come to an end. Low cost, almost no cost marketing tools, ways to monetize a dynamic business anchored by your skills and much more!
WEDDING CELEBRANT REFRESHER CERTIFICATION – winter 2017 COURSE DESCRIPTION 4 weekly classes including one Student Orientation Meet and Greet session Classes take place on Tuesdays at 7:30-8:45PM ET, follow by one 30-minute private session with instructor Class begins on the first week of January 3rd 2017 with Student Orientation INSTRUCTOR: Mila Martin Minimum students 3, Maximum number of students 25 Prerequisite: CF&I Certified Wedding Celebrant w/one year of experience PROMO Recording with Mila Martin: https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BzaE0AH93hCgRXJvNUNTclFHMjQ Note: The recording is a little scratchy but it gets better – so you know. The Wedding Celebrant Refresher certification course is designed to bring CF&I Certified Wedding Celebrants up to invigorate speed on the most important aspects of being a 58
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successful Wedding Celebrant. This course has been primarily designed for CF&I Certified Wedding Celebrants who graduated in the past and feel they need a ‘refresher’ - or for Celebrants who desire to have more in-depth knowledge. Faculty member, Mila Martin lovingly and diligently created this 3 week course to benefit Wedding Celebrants by offering them the most comprehensive and important knowledge to revitalize their practice with the latest and greatest professional information to help their practice soar.
CF&I Faculty members are CF&I Certified Life-Cycle Celebrants APRIL BEER TEACHES: Fundamentals of Celebrancy, Weddings Certification and LGBTQ Life-Cycle Ceremony Workshop Certification April Beer has been a much loved faculty member and mentor in the past and has now returned. She has also been a very popular and successful fulltime Celebrant for nearly a decade. She says I'm dedicated to my work as a Celebrant; I craft memorable ceremonies - weddings, commitment ceremonies, baby naming, vow renewals and memorials -that celebrate the people involved. I am joyful about life and a spiritual listener. All beliefs, religions and traditions are honored and respected. After living in NYC for 26 years, and working as a producer, I married and moved to New Jersey. Believing our wedding should reflect our uniqueness as a couple, we scripted the entire ceremony so both of our faiths and beliefs were represented. This experience inspired me to become a Celebrant so I could help others create their own very special ceremony."
MILA MARTIN TEACHES: Fundamentals of Celebrancy, Weddings, Weddings Refresher and LGBTQ Life-Cycle Ceremony Workshop Certifications Mila Martin has been a certified Life-Cycle Celebrant certified in Wedding Celebrancy since 2006. Mila is also certified in Funeral Celebrancy and has a BA in Anthropology and Sociology from Webster University in St. Louis, Missouri. In addition to her thriving Celebrant business, she is the Circulation Manager at the Business Library of Washington University of St. Louis. She is a busy and creative wedding Celebrant and has recently been certified as a “Law of Attraction” Life Coach. This is Mila’s 10th year on the CF&I faculty and she is our CIO (Chief Inspiration Officer!) for the last several years greeting and orientating Celebrant students who are beginning our program of studies. Mila is the proud mother of Sam, a comedian at Second City in Chicago and Audrey, an aspiring astrophysicist! In her "free" time, she creates embroidered tapestries and colored pencil paintings.
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ELISA CHASE TEACHES: Fundamentals of Celebrancy, Weddings, Funerals, Ceremonies across the Life Cycle Certifications and Celebrant Business Development Course Elisa Chase is a Life-cycle Celebrant and Wedding Officiant. She is triple certified in Weddings, Funerals, and Ceremonies for Families and Children. She has also taken the advanced business course for Celebrants. Along with years of wedding experience, Elisa brings her 20-year background in business consulting for Fortune 500 and 100 companies to her practice. Elisa has designed, developed, and implemented professional training courses, sales and motivational seminars for groups of all sizes in many different modalities, and is also a published poet. Elisa balances her consultant practice and her growing Celebrant practice along with raising a family with five kids, two dogs, a loving husband, and a cranky Grandma all under one roof. Full of practical knowledge and willing to share everything that has worked (and not worked) along the way, she is eager to help you take your next steps toward your own success as a Life-Cycle Celebrant, no matter how you define it.
ALEXANDRA LIFSHIN TEACHES: Fundamentals of Celebrancy Alexandra Lifshin is a certified Life Cycle CelebrantÂŽ with a certification in Weddings. Her love of writing, research, ritual, and public speaking started in high school: she was a nationally ranked debater and orator. Alexandra graduated with honors from Saint Louis University in 2006. She holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in English Literature. Much of her education dealt with religion, spirituality, and psychology (all including healthy doses of Joseph Campbell and Carl Jung). She served as discussion group leader for the New York City Atheists from 2009 through 2011. When friends asked her to perform their wedding ceremony in 2010, she became interested in becoming a wedding Officiant. She has been CF&I's official Librarian since 2014. Alexandra is excited to bring her experience, educational background, love of learning, and abiding enthusiasm for everyday rituals and Celebrancy to her teaching practice.
KIM KIRKLEY TEACHES: Fundamentals of Celebrancy, Weddings, Ceremony Across the Life Cycle Certifications and Money Matters an Advanced Marketing Course and Celebrant Book Writing and Publishing Kim Kirkley was one of the original five Celebrants in North America and one of the first to create a thriving full-time Celebrancy practice. Having delivered a TEDx Talk http://bit.ly/kimtedx, she has performed over 1000 ceremonies, including weddings, commitment ceremonies, baby-namings, funerals, and house blessings. Kim has been declared "The Officiant" -- http://bit.ly/KimKirkley -- by New York magazine and is based in New York City. Her 7 year old niece is her greatest joy and inspiration.
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SOLANGE STROUGMAYER Life Cycle Master CelebrantÂŽ TEACHES: French Language - Fundamentals of Celebrancy, Weddings and Funerals Certifications Solange Strougmayer Je propose de remettre de Ia solennite, du symbolisme et du rituel dans vos vies. -Ceremonie d'engagement ou de fianailles, -Benediction de votre enfant ou benediction de Ia mere -choix de parrain et marraine,-ceremonie d'adoption, -rites de passage comme Ia puberte, Ia majorite, Ia menopause ou des anniversaires cles, -depart en retraite, -ouverture de magasin ou nouvelle entreprise, etc. C'est VOTRE ceremonie! Creons ensemble Ia ceremonie personnalisee et unique qui vous ressemble et refh3te vos valeurs et vos croyances. Et bien sur, je suis a vos cotes pour creer, animer et guider un MARIAGE de personnes de toute tradition, toute ethnie et de tout sexe. Que vous soyez heterosexuel, homosexuel, que ce soit votre premier mariage ou le troisieme, que vous reunissiez plusieurs families, plusieurs cultes, plusieurs traditions, je serai a votre ecoute et honoree de vous servir en France, en Suisse or Belgique. Au pays de I'Amour, une ceremonie personnelle, unique, alternative pour vous.
ABEGAEL FISHER-LANG TEACHES: Fundamentals of Celebrancy Abegael Fisher-Lang has been a certified Life Cycle Celebrant since 2007, with a diploma in Ceremonies for Families & Children (former name of Ceremonies Across the Life Cycle course). She is the owner of Life Threads Ceremonies and a longtime storyteller with Mythopoetica Storytelling, seeking that deep space between story, teller, and listener. Abegael has spent a lifetime of studying philosophy and world religions, learning and retelling the myths of many cultures, and experiencing different spiritual practices
LENNY SCOVEL TEACHES: Fundamentals of Celebrancy Lenny Scovel graduated from the Celebrant Institute in 2013 with a certification in weddings. He is a commissioned lay minister through Foothills Unitarian (Unitarian Universalist) church in Fort Collins. In his daily life, Lenny is a professional woodworker. He is also an actor, a cyclist, and a board gaming enthusiast. And he lives in Colorado with his family
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PEGGY LEWIS TEACHES: Fundamentals of Celebrancy Peggy Lewis is a long time, highly prized faculty member who resides in Florida. Peggy tells us, “I have a passion for capturing and expressing the real meaning of life events for people; even when they don’t know how to put it in words! I have always loved words, and writing. And all of my professional careers have been about making people’s lives better. I have been a nurse, a social worker, a psychotherapist, a founder of a national non-profit organization, and an award-winning writer. All of these experiences have helped to prepare me for connecting with people from many different social and cultural backgrounds to create a perfect ceremony for them.” Peggy is a great teacher to many celebrants.
SHAE UISNA TEACHES: Funerals and Healing and Transition Certifications Shae Uisna is a celebrant, artist, leader, teacher, performer and lifelong student of comparative mythology and puppet & mask traditions. In 2008, Shae received her certification in ceremonial studies, with specializations in funerals and ceremonies for children and families. Ms. Uisna facilitates a Death Café in North Portland, Oregon, founded the “Motherless Mother’s Day Celebration” and is passionate about the development of ceremonies that previously did not exist, but for which there is a real need in our world. In 2009, Shae received her Master of Arts degree in Theatre from Portland State University with an emphasis in directing and design. In her work as a theater artist, Ms. Uisna draws from a wealth of imagery and traditions, weaving archetype, movement and music into unique classes and performances that are both moving and transformative.
STACY MITCHELL TEACHES: Fundamentals of Celebrancy, Weddings, Funerals, Healing and Transitions Certifications Stacy Mitchell has been practicing the art of Celebrancy since graduating from the CF&I in 2005 with a certificate in Ceremonies for Healing and Transitions (now Funeral Celebrancy). Stacy was called to this work by the needs of those in her community who wished to have meaningful, personalized funeral and memorial ceremonies that were not dependent upon religious affiliation. She also takes advantage of the beautiful area in which she lives to officiate at many beach weddings throughout the year and has found a beautiful balance in her Celebrancy practice by offering this same level of care and meaning to any ceremony that marks milestone moments in our lives. Stacy has a background in the Healing Arts as an Usui Reiki Master/Teacher and healing gemstone jewelry artist, and has been a prolific writer, public speaker, and Artist Way facilitator. She holds two Bachelors of Science degrees, in Psychology and Criminal Justice, from Drury University in Springfield, Missouri. Stacy now lives with the love of her life at their home near Pismo Beach, California, where she is a full-time Life-Cycle Celebrant serving the San Luis Obispo County area.
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RANDY KEATS TEACHES: Fundamentals of Celebrancy Randy Keats is a Wedding & Life-Cycle Celebrant based in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. His experience with ceremony spans 3 continents, 3 decades, and crosses cultures, languages and spiritual traditions. Randy likes to break the chains of custom, stir the status quo, and co-create customized ceremonies which touch, move and inspire. A performer, singer, speaker and master of ceremonies, career-transition counsellor, high school French teacher, facilitator, coach, activist, communication officer, public legal education facilitator, president, ... these hats I've worn over time have all led me here to you to share my enthusiasm for helping people to understand and express change in their personal lives through ceremony. Currently Randy dabbles in tarot and crystals unless Pedro, his forty-year-old Amazon parrot insists on occupying a hand.
RON HUNT TEACHES: Funeral Certification Ron Hunt has been a celebrant for over a decade. He brings his vast experience and wisdom to teaching future generations of celebrant. Ron tells us, “This has made me the multi-cultural Minister that I am today. As a Universalist, I am uniquely qualified to bring couples of different beliefs and faiths together. I can create a mosaic of different readings and rituals, performed with dignity and respect. This has filled me with an appreciation and understanding of other cultures, which in turn has brought me much joy and serenity. Also, by being with my client honorees I came to understand that personalized ceremonies from womb to tomb, is an extraordinary event in our lives. It is one of the few occasions where we have the chance to stand in the power of ceremony and notice that each of our lives has meaning.”
SANDRA M. MONAHAN TEACHES: CF&I Master Life Cycle Celebrant Certificate Program Sandra M. Monahan, Founder and President of Weddings Without Worries, Wexford, PA earned the designation of Master Life-Cycle Celebrant in 2012 and has achieved four other CF&I Certifications. The mainstay of her services includes creating and officiating personalized wedding ceremonies and also those for all of life’s rites of passage. She has been a celebrant since 2005, and serves as Co-facilitator for the PA-Pittsburgh Alumni Chapter Group in addition to being past chairperson for Weddings and Military and Veteran’s Committees. As a Minister/Director for Universal Brotherhood Movement, Sandra has ordained many Celebrants for UBM and offers her mentoring skills across the country. Sandra has also achieved the accreditation of Master Wedding Planner™ with the Association of Bridal Consultants and is an adjunct instructor for Penn Foster Career School in the ABC Wedding Planner Certificate course. An affiliate partner with Etiquette Survival, she has presented numerous seminars across the country teaching Etiquette and Social Graces for personal, business and children programs
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CATHERINE McCOLL TEACHES: Wedding Ceremony Certification Catherine McColl is a professionally trained ceremony specialist, engaged in developing genuine, loving, creative and memorable ceremonies for her clients. After many years in corporate life, she graduated from CF&I with her Weddings Certificate in 2012, and completed her Funerals and Memorials Certificate in 2013. In 2014 she left the corporate world to focus on building her Celebrant practice. She loves meeting people and getting to know their personal stories, building relationships along the way. Whether it is a wedding between two, a renewal of vows celebrating the enduring love story, or honouring the life’s journey of a loved one who has passed, Catherine ensures each ceremony is personalized and meaningful. As an ordained nondenominational minister, she is licensed to perform weddings in the province of British Columbia, on the West Coast of Canada. She is located in the Lower Mainland, in Coquitlam, BC, and serves wherever she is needed within the province. Catherine is delighted to join the prestigious Faculty of CF&I, to teach the Weddings curriculum, and looks forward to connecting with all her new Celebrant Students!
SARAH RITCHIE TEACHES: Wedding Certificate has been a Life-Cycle Celebrant since 2009 with certificates in weddings, ceremonies for families and children (ceremonies across the life-cycle, as well as in funerals. Based in Manhattan, she’s performed ceremonies throughout the tri-state state area. She has conducted hundreds of weddings, including scores of gay weddings following New York’s historic Marriage Equality Law. Likewise, she’s delivered marriage vow renewals, baby welcoming ceremonies, home and new job blessings, as well as funerals and memorials. In 2015, Ritchie completed the One Spirit Interfaith Seminary, to enhance her ceremony services to diverse New York area clients. A proud Oklahoman, she took degrees in political science, history, and economics from the University of Oklahoma and attended graduate school in politics at Yale University
Our wonderful faculty looks forward to teaching you the best practice in the world – Celebrancy! .
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Available now on Amazon as a paperback or as a Kindle e-book. In our fast-paced lives, many of us don't "stop and smell the roses." When we do take the time, though, we honor that which makes us magnificently human. Stopping to smell the roses can offer you a bouquet that keeps on blooming, because of your full attention and reverence to life. Life-Cycle Ceremonies: A Handbook for Your Whole Life is a compilation of ceremonies and rituals written by experienced Certified Life-Cycle CelebrantsÂŽ from all over the world, who share their wisdom along with some favorite rituals. It's an excellent resource for those who want to better practice mindfulness in their day-to-day lives, for wellness, healthcare, and death care professionals, and for all lovers of life. This book was created by the Celebrant Foundation & Institute. Contact us at: celebrantinstitute.org or give us a call at: (973) 746-1792.
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