The Colors of Nothingness

BY PIERRE JHUN SAN PEDRO

ster did not understand.

She had her whole life ahead of her; she had dreams, visions of the life she was about to achieve. She had a promising career, a family she had always wanted. All that was left was for her to explore, to reach for the goals she had in mind. Ester did everything she could, but she had finally lost her vision. Slowly, surely, literally—she had lost sight of the world. In August 2005, she started to experience problems with her vision. Diagnosed with glaucoma in one eye, and proliferative diabetic retinopathy in the other, she tried to look for solutions in and outside of the country to no avail. By January 2006, Ester Lagradilla Jara was declared legally blind.

CHANGE AMIDST HARDSHIPS

“I was not born blind. I was a very independent person, having a promising career as an accountant, holding key positions in professional organizations, a frequent traveler,” Ester expressed. “Suddenly everything came to a full stop. It was devastating…terrible would be a more appropriate word. I cried. Around five minutes after, I started discussing with my doctor available options on how to have a better quality of life while being blind.”

According to Ester, however, discrimination and prejudice remain familiar notions among people who suffer from disabilities. Stereotypes that do nothing but hurt and dehumanize those who suffer from a variety of physical hardships continue to persist—a plague that will continue to haunt the very people who need it the least. Despite the countless laws passed to make the lives of marginalized groups such as those of the PWDs (Persons with Disabilities), the lack of understanding and generations of preconceived ideas about the community remain a blockage that prevents them from enjoying what should have been basic human rights. In the words of Ester, what should have been their rights are reduced to “mere privileges.”

HOPE IN BETWEEN CHALLENGES

“What God has given me is a ‘very comfortable’ level of acceptance. Comfortable enough for me to live as normal as possible with my remaining senses, move forward, and continue to make a difference whenever and however I can,” stated Ester.

Currently serving as the Executive Assistant to the Medical Center Chief of the Corazon Locsin Montelibano Regional Hospital, Bacolod City, Ester proves that not all hope is for naught. With her dreams and aspirations, together with her will and perseverance being much stronger than the misfortunes that have come to claim her sight, she continued to hold onto the visions of the future she is able to foresee.

“My usual work day involves coordinating with the offices within the hospital to address or prepare the reportorial and other requirements of the hospital; attending to and resolving external and internal concerns and complaints; reviewing and signing reports, checks, proposals, and other documents; formulation, monitoring, and reporting of management planning and control processes. I also coordinate and prepare the hospital’s entries for healthcare service quality awards with institutions like the Philippine Hospital Association,” she added.

With the help of modern assistive technology that aids those who have disabilities—such as screen readers and the voiceover features of smartphones and computers—performing tasks on digital devices has grown to become more accessible. For Ester, the use of either “Window-Eyes” or “Job Access With Speech” (JAWS), both popular screen reading programs designed for the visually impaired, has allowed her to do tasks that require the use of a computer. Utilizing the same technology on her phone, the voiceover feature enables her to effectively communicate with people among her different cliques.

BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT

“It is more who I miss seeing. I miss seeing my husband, Rey Jara. When I became blind, Rey made me see the real meaning of our wedding vows ‘in sickness or in health… for better or for worse’. He is my ‘tower of strength,’ ‘the wind beneath my wings.’ We are partners in our unique Ministry of Encouragement. We give strength and support to persons, couples, and families who are undergoing similar challenges,” told Ester.

Even with individuals like Ester who have struggled with various disabilities throughout their lifetime, there remains a vast amount of misconceptions that need to be corrected. Ester herself has faced discrimination due to her visual impairment, and although there are many like her working towards altering negative attitudes towards PWDs, the fight is far from over.

Ester still wishes she understood.

She, however, sees the joy of working with other individuals, foundations, institutions, and fellow PWDs in advocating for the rights they deserve. She sees the blessing of being able to empathize more with the people around her, especially towards those that share her fate and troubles; and be the inspiration they need to continue moving forward. Likewise, she feels the beauty of her ability to envision things in a more positive light—for she has the power to paint her own colors against the dark canvas that had tried to claim her world. For Ester, there is nothing more powerful than being able to “walk by faith, not by sight.”C