Issue #166 3/18/201
FEATURED Inside
This Weeks Issue All U Can Eat & Drink Parade Fundraiser 10 Types of Men Women Should Avoid + 7 Types of Woman Man Should Avoid Time to Lose Some Weight Babe Marriage Tips Health News Living With AIDS
Issue 166
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April 2011
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Wife I found out my husband was HIV positive about two years ago, I was devastated and so scared I may be infected after being married for 14 years and having two children. Amazingly after taking the test I found out I was negative.I believe this is only by God's grace to me and my children. I continually pray for protection for myself and my children. I do feel very isolated in this situation though as I do not know many people in this situation in the UK. Whenever you look for support groups, charities etc it's always for Gay men which kind of angers me as it doesn't just affect them.It's hard to get support as you cannot tell many people as HIV has so much fear and preconceived ideas surrounding it
NY Girl I was diagnosed HIV + July 16, 2010 a week before my 30 th b-day. I didn't freak out or cry. I just sat there and looked at my doctor. I had been using heroin for 5 years but at the time I got diagnosed I was in a methadone program and had been clean for 1 year. I thought I had finally got ten my life back on track, then this. Being an addict, its always in the back of your mind that it could happen to you. I got tested a lot. I was living in the Bronx, and they have mobile hiv testing all over the place. I would go and always test negative. My boyfriend of 4 yrs was in jail for 6 months and when he came home he continued to use dope. One mistake on my part and Now I'm positive. I missed my program 1 time ( anyone on methadone knows u wont get sick 1 day but lucky me I missed on sat. so i had to wait till monday to get medicated) My BF got a few bags of dope, I was sick and I used his needle like I did everyday for 4 yrs. What I didnt think of was, if im not getting high with him anymore whio is? I didnt ask him if he shared needles with anyone. Time passed, he got locked up again. To make a long story short, I think testimg positive actually saved my life. I called my family in upstate NY who i had not seen in 5 yrs told them my story. Yes they were upset but they are beginning to see I will be ok. All my now X-BF said to me when I told him I tested positive was " You know I'm always a step ahead of you" I took it as he knew way before letting me use his needle that he was positive but he didnt care about me or my health If he was + then I had to be 2 !!! I have been home with my family for almost 4 months now and I'm happy.
Ann It all begun in college when i was 22 years, I was brought up in a strict family so i got freedom in college. I met a guy and we decided to get married. When i was in my final year i found out i was pregnant. I graduated and started working. My mum confronted me about the pregnancy and i admitted i took my finance home and my parents allowed us to get married. We were blessed with a baby girl.5 months after my daughter was born my husband became so ill and moved back to his parents house. After a month he called me on a Thursday and told me he wouldn't make it and he was sorry. I told him i would call him later but didn’t do so I called the following day but he was sleeping. I called on Sunday night and was told he had passed away that morning. I was left holding a 6month old kid and unstable. I was so devastated. We attended the burial and everyone was just pointing a finger at me saying she will be next soon. I did not understand what they were saying. I went back home and continued working. I lost so much weight and my appearance changed. My dad visited me and talked to me and told me to get tested. I felt my world crumble around me. My dad took me for testing and he was very supportive. My daughter was 1year old. I was diagnosed positive. I still had to take my daughter for testing this i did not have any strength to do at 1 and 1/2 years i took her for testing and she turned out to be negative. I got the strength to go on. From that day i never looked back i forgave my husband. Its now been 7years since then and i leave a day at a time and still not on any drugs of which i give God the glory. All i asked of him was to let me see my daughter and her children and am sure he granted me that. I attend my clinics every 6 months and follow the diet am given, that way i keep strong. I will now be getting married next year august to someone
Brittany I was diagnosed with HIV in February 2010, right after a follow up i had for a miscarriage in January. me and my mother was heartbroken. I had to tell my childs father because i had cheated on him and i wasnt right for me not to tell him. He didnt care he loved me and my HIV status didnt define me. He had been getting tested every month and he continually came out negative. The man i contracted it from i assume didnt know but i never talked to him after i was pregnant. I started HIV medications in June 2010 and have been taking them up til now. When i went to the doctor in October they told me that my HIV was undetectable. which was a major relief to me and my mother. She is so silly cause she thought i was goin to die and both my children would lose me. Now I am in perfect health and waiting on a cure
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10 Types of Men Women Should Avoid Women, beware. Yes, men are lovely. They are cute and cuddly and make ya feel good, but there are some you might need to toss back, because come the reckoning, you're going to wish you could return them. Here are the top 10 men to avoid. 1. FAMILY MATTERS The issue: The first relationship we experience in life is the one with our parents and families. If those relationships are tattered and torn, you can assume he will be the same with you. A man who "can't stand his mom" or "doesn't eff with his brother" is a no-go situation. If he can't make it work with the people he supposedly loves the most, what makes you think he's ever gonna fundamentally get what love means or truly respect the relationships that come along with it (i.e., you)?
6. HIGH OCTANE The issue: We love the bad boys, the ones who constantly bring excitement and drama in our lives. They're fun and entertaining because you never know what you're going to get - like a big ole box of chocolates. But this isn't Forrest Gump, and we aren't making $20 million a picture. This is real life, and the sustaining factor for crazy isn't very high. It's fun for a bit, but eventually, he'll just drive you batty. And restraining orders are a hassle. Chris Brown couldn't even go to the Grammys this year. See, they just get in the way.
The solution: Just steer clear. Dudes with these kinds of issues need years of professional help, and they are the exact types who most likely won't reach out and ask for it, so let them live their crazy lives on their own. If you so choose this pill, realize it's a tough one to swallow, so good luck. You need copious amounts of patience and a love of rollercoasters; cause that's exactly what your relationship will be. The solution: Get him into therapy, stat. You cannot replace his family, Trust me. so don't try. Getting help to understand his anger for his loved ones 7. GUYS WITH TONS OF ROOMMATES just might help him love you the right way. The issue(s): This is a two-parter. A) It's completely awkward when his live-in buddies know 2. EMOTICON GUY just how loud you are with your sex game or when a video of The issue: I don't trust men who use emoticons. It's just weird. And you winds up on X-Tube shot cinematically from the view of men who use exclamation points excessively make me nervous. Like a cracked door. they're always yelling at you!!! B) His parents. The solution: Start answering his texts in ALL CAPS AND WHEN HE The solution: A) Either invest in a lock for the door or just date guys over ASKS WHY YOU'RE YELLING AT HIM, TELL HIM YOU'RE JUST the age of 28. At that point, they really shouldn't have roomRETURNING THE FAVOR. ;) 3. LOAN HAWK ies anymore, anyway. The issue: He borrows money from you constantly. I don't mean a few B) Unless there is some extenuating circumstance, do NOT date men who still live at home. We are all grown-ups here bucks here or there; I'm talking regularly asking you for bread. I have had friends who were all but funding their boyfriend's entire lives (rent and we're in the grown-up dating game. I have no clue how so many guys get love in the club when their mom is down included). You can't convince me there's a man out there who enjoys the hall, but somehow they are knocking boots under their asking his girl for money, so if he does it without any objection, than you probably want to go ahead and rip up the money tree in your back- parents' roof. Not only is it disrespectful to them, but it's disrespectful to you, too. Move along until he changes his zip yard. The solution: Don't give it to him and if you do, make him pay you back code. 8. GAY MEN - with interest. The issue: For obvious reasons, it probably won't work out if he's more interested in your boys than you. Or wears tighter 4. CHEATERS pants than you. Or dresses better overall. Or constantly The issue: Once one, usually one. I won't say always because there is goes for rear entry. always an exception to every rule (what would rules be if we couldn't The solution: None. Go find someone who plays for your break them?), but the likelihood of a cheetah changing his spots is team and you should probably bring your ex, so he can tell about as likely as you learning to trust him again 100%. you who's gay and who's straight, since your gaydar sucks. 9. "IN-SE-CURR" The solution: I've seen few get through infidelity, so if you have, put The issue: Move over, ladies, you aren't the only ones with your tips in the comments section. Inquiring minds surely want to security or self-esteem issues. Men are right up there with know. us, except their insecurity manifests in crazy ways from 5. I DREAM OF GENE-Y which you innately want to abstain. Men with low self esThe issue: Genes matter, and not just aesthetically (who wants ugly kids?), but health wise, too. If you're in it to win it with someone, don't teem are constantly seeking outside sources to make themforget to check his medical records. What if he has a history of schizo- selves feel better or, sometimes, worse. And listening to a phrenia or every man over 45 in his family has dropped dead of a heart guy explain for the millionth time why he feels like he just attack? Find out early before you fall in all kinds of love and he falls six can't win or always gets the short end of the stick gets really annoying really fast. I don't mind building you up, supporting feet under, leaving you barefoot and pregnant (with you, but goodness! Sometimes you gotta man up! an ugly kid). The solution: If you want to stick it out, go for it. There are worse situations to be in, so go ahead, compliment him, help The solution: Hope your genes pull through? Unless him see the reasons you love him and hope he starts to you aren't anything above an 8 yourself, it's slim eventually see them for himself, too. pickings, kids, but hey, there's someone for every10. CHARLIE SHEEN one. The issue: Too many to count. The solution: Not winning! Duh! Afro/Latino
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Jokes & Stuff
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's of their car which said: "Two Prostitutes -- $50.00." nothing A policeman, seeing the sign, Stopped them and told them they wrong with the way you have intercourse," and would either have to remove the sign Or go to jail. charged them $50. Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: This happened several weeks in a row. The couple "JESUS SAVES." would make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems, One of the girls asked the officer, "How come you don't stop them?!" pay the doctor, then leave. Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you "Well, that's a little different," the officer smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion." trying to find out?" So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm sign down and drove off. married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn The following day found the same police officer In the area when he noticed the two ladies Driving around with a large charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here sign on their car again. for $50, and I get $43 Figuring he had an easy arrest, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign which now read: WHAT ARE WE PLANTING * If you plant honesty, you will reap trust * If you plant goodness, you will reap friends * If you plant humility, you will reap greatness * If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment * If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective * If you plant hard work, you will reap success * If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later. Think about this for a minute.... Do you know what the relationship is between your two eyes? They blink together, they move together, they cry together, they see things together, and they sleep together, but they never see each other; .....that's what friendship is.. Your aspiration is your motivation, your motivation is your belief, your belief is your peace, your peace is your target, your target is heaven, and life is like hard core torture without it! It's 'World Best Friends Week' Save the Earth.... it's the only planet with chocolate!!!!
If you think you are beaten, you are; If you think you dare not, you don't; If you'd like to win, but think you can't It's almost certain, you won't. If you think you'll lose, you're lost; Since out in our world we find success begins with a person's will, It's all in your state of mind. Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster hand; But sooner or later the person who wins
is the one who thinks....."I CAN".
Time to Lose Some Weight Babe Relationships often play out with two sets of rules: his and hers. Nowhere do double standards flourish more than when it comes to issues of weight. Men want their girlfriends and wives to stay in shape. While it may or may not always work out that way, we certainly find ways to make our feelings known: "Babe, you sure you want to eat that deep-fried doughnut?" After all, there is only so much cushion for the pushin' that one man needs. But turn the tables, and you find that most men roll differently. And when I say "roll," I mean actually rolling up on the drive-thru and, two heartbeats away from cardiac arrest, we'll bark out our order: "I'd like my double standard with cheese please." Indulge me as I speak from my own personal experience because, you know, that's something I never do. I've been married for close to six years. For the first four, I still enjoyed a very high-functioning metabolism. The energy it took me to even step on a scale seemed to burn 200 calories. But to quote Notorious B.I.G 'Things Done Changed.' My metabolism, once a Kenyan track star, is now the slow Swedish cat bringing up the rear hoping not to get lapped. All told, I gained 15 pounds last year. And here I was giving my wife grief if she ordered French fries. One evening I remember being at the movie theater eating a gratuitously big bag of popcorn. Halfway through the movie, I find myself trudging out to the lobby to reup on the salt. Yes, more salt. Fabulous idea. While doing so, a young woman behind the counter offers to "top off my popcorn." Top off my popcorn for free? I had never heard of such thing. I wondered for a moment, "Is this a sexual metaphor that I need to decode; is she hitting on me or is this the explanation to American obesity?" Better question - was I part of the problem? I tried to put it out of my mind, but later that night, something funny happened on my way to the fridge for a late snack. "My sexy" sent me a telepathic message stating that he wanted to come home. It had been a long time since I heard from or seen "My sexy." And I can't really blame him for leaving the pudgy bastard that I was becoming. The two couldn't co-exist. He said that I mistreated him, that I disrespected him. I shot him back some mental telepathy of own and asked "Are we gay because it certainly sounds like it?" But fast forward a year after reuniting with "My sexy," and I'm back down to my trimmer self of old. "My sexy" is happy. My wife is happy. Then again, my wife never really complained. And therein lies part of the problem. The double standard on weight issues in relationships is due, in part, to women who believe a way to a man's heart is through his stomach. It's the human teddy bear syndrome. But have you ever seen a teddy bear with heart disease or diabetes or breathe like Darth Vader climbing a short flight of steps? No, because they are cute inanimate objects that don't require health care. They don't require funerals either or leave their spouses tons of credit card debt after they pass prematurely. Weight double standards are not healthy -- physically or emotionally. We need to stop supersizing our fries and our relationships in the process. Just my thoughts. I'm stepping down from my soapbox now and on to the treadmill.
Mason Jamal writes about men, women and popular culture
7 Types of Women Men Should Avoid Whether a man's looking for
Ms. Right or just Ms. Right Now, chances are he's going to run into a few Ms. Wrongs along the way. Problem is, a lot of men overlook the obvious red flags in a woman's personality because they're blinded by T&A or the prospect of a new sexual conquest. However, once the honeymoon phase is over and he finally sees the light, it's time to figure out the best exit strategy. In an effort to avoid all that extra work, here are a few types of women that men should just avoid right out the gate. 1. The Religious Fanatic There's nothing wrong with believing in a higher power. In fact, having a moral foundation makes for a good marriage and mother material for a man looking to settle down, but too much of anything can be, well, too much. For someone that lives in a secular world, trying to mesh with a devout church girl can result in problems of biblical proportions. There's just a major conflict of interests when your woman's quoting verses from the book of Luke and you're quoting Uncle Luke verses. It's just not going to work, so unless you're ready to get sanctified, leave the religious girls alone, fellas. 2. The Marriage/Baby-Obsessed If you've ever seen an episode of VH1's 'What Chilli Wants', then you have a prime example of this type of woman. It's perfectly fine to aspire to have a family, but not on the first date. Women like these tend to be focused more on the idea of the nuclear family and wedding than all the steps it takes to actually maintain a marriage, like getting to know someone. When a woman looks at a man, she should see a potential partner, not a sperm donor. Sure, some women's biological clocks are ticking, but for some, it feels more like a stopwatch.
4. The Angry Black Woman Let's not pretend like she doesn't exist because we all know that she does. Any man that's come into contact with an ABW should know right away that she's not one to be messed with - or dated. There's nothing worse than spending time with someone that's mad at the world... all the time. Life is hard, but it gets a lot easier when a man keeps all ABWs in a friend box labeled "do not enter." 5. The Pretty Girl With Problems Just because a woman is physically attractive doesn't mean she'll make a good partner. Take a look at Halle Berry and Christina Milian. Both women would top most celebrity MILF lists, but if you look at their respective dating histories, you'll see a pattern of bad relationships in their wake. Sure, the guys in question played a role, but the common denominator is her. BBD said, "Never trust a big butt and a smile." Well, the same goes for a pretty girl with problems. Don't trust this type of woman to do anything other than give you a big headache. 6. The Stalker A Thin Line Between Love and Hate and Fatal Attraction weren't just good movies; they were tutorials on what men should not do: date emotionally unstable women. Sometimes stalkers are hard to detect right off the bat, but when a woman starts popping up unexpectedly, acting overly needy and borders on being scary, it's time to extricate yourself from the situation - carefully. Whatever you do, don't just ignore her; women like that don't like being ignored. 7. The Party Girl There's a big difference between being the life of the party and being a party girl. The latter is the type of woman that's shaking her tail feather every other night and getting sloppy drunk on the regular. Neither are qualities most men want in the future mother of their children.
3. The Gold Digger
If you're 21 and just looking for a good time, then a party girl might be right up your alley, but any grown man lookThere's nothing wrong with a woman wanting financial security and ing for a stable relationship need look elsewhere. I don't assurances that their partner can provide for them and their future care what Usher says, most of us don't find true love in offspring. The problem is those women that don't bring anything to this club. the table other than their looks and just expect a man to lay down There it is, fellas, you've been forewarned. No matter how the red carpet for them. Worst yet are those that specifically seek good she looks, if you happen to come across any of the out men because of their bank account, looking for a big payday. above women during the course of your dating experiGuys with no game tend to fall for these types by flashing more ences, run the other way quick fast and in a hurry. cash than personality. In time they'll eventually see the light, but hopefully, that's before they put a ring on it or she drops a kid, What other types of women should all men avoid? because then you're stuck splitting your paycheck with this broad for life. Anslem Samuel is the founder of the award-winning sex and relationship blog Naked With Socks On.
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Lee Diamondz Afro/Latino Music Spotlight Leon Durham Jr. aka LeeDiamondz The General is an up and coming Artist born and raised in Reading, Pa. I been Honing my craft for over 2 decades. Inspired by many of Hip Hops elite. I mainly find Influences from The Notorius B.I.G., Jay-z, and Papoose. His squad BLF Ent. (Being Loyal First) is making a mark in the city of Reading with the music scene. With over a dozens performances under his belt From The Midday Cafe, To The Afro/Latino Parade, To First Fridays. B.L.F. Presents "A Dolla & A Dream" Mixtape due for release 3/11. Follwed up by more mixtapes in the works. LeeDiamondz Been rapping since the tender age of ten...Takes his personal experiences and expresses it thru his music. I been on my own in the streets since 15 yrs old.. After yrs of following the wrong path I decided to take my sound and experiences and do the music thing seriously. I also am in the process of writting my first book wit many more to come.. Book titled "Southside Story" Is a memior to the streets I came up in. I also been involved with Promting shows, and Parties.. B.L.F. Brotherly Love Forever/ Be Loyal First.. The rest is history in the making. Mixtape releases coming all yr around first up "A Dollar & A Dream" Hosted By Dj H. Vidal. Followed up by My next project " Point Of No Return" Due this Summer.. I show my support to the upmost to all Local Acts, Artist's, Singers, Song writters, producers, etc..I Also plan on working with alot of Reading's Own. The sky's the limit and I'm shooting beyond the stars.. Keep HIP HOP ALIVE and support your local artist. B.L.F.'s Own Lee Diamondz The General I Love My City!
6th WARD Reunion Planning Session Saturday, March 26th 2011 4:00 American Legion 237 N.3rd If your interested in helping to organize And plan come share your ideas to make this a fun– filled event for family & friends who grew up in the 6th Ward Hope up see you there .Lets Celebrate Life Afro/Latino
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