HOW TO BE
RESILIENT BY
WHAT IS RESILIENCE?
activity 1
How RESILIENT people are is one of the most important predictors of how successful they will be. Which means that we'd better learn how to get good at it, right? But here's a question... what is RESILIENCE? Write down your definition of what you think resilience is in the box below and we'll see how close you get later. Resilience is...
3 things we love about resilience 1. It doesn't matter how smart you are, how good your grades are, what
school you go to, or where you come from: anybody can learn it- as long as you are prepared to work at it and practice. 2. RESILIENCE helps you to have a more positive outlook which helps you to live a longer, happier and healthier life. 3.Life is full of challenges and RESILIENCE gives you the tools to be able to deal with whatever comes your way.
so, what is resilience? Resilience can mean different things, so the best thing to do is to give you some examples of what being resilient looks like in action: it's when you BELIEVE in yourself, even when it's easier not to. it's when you DO YOUR BEST, even when nobody is watching you. it's when you try and FIND SOLUTIONS, instead of seeing problems. it's when you WORK HARD, instead of just relying on your talent. it's about DOING WHAT YOU SAY, because you said you would. it's about NOT GIVING UP, even when things are difficult. it's when you TRY YOUR BEST, even though you don't feel like it. it's when you BOUNCE BACK from difficult situations in your life.
page 1
WHAT IS RESILIENCE? how resilient are you? So, now that we know a bit more about what resilience is, let's see how resilient you are today. On the next page you can evaluate your RESILIENCE against 10 of the most important elements of being resilient. Be honest with your scores this will help you identify which areas to work on. Don't worry if you don't score as well as you would like, the great news is that RESILIENCE is a skill, and just like any skill the more you learn and practice... the better you get. And don't worry... we are going to make sure that you will get plenty of practice over the next few weeks! You will be doing the same evaluation at the end of this RESILIENCE pack, so you can see how much progress you have made.
fun fact...
Did you know that the first HARRY POTTER book was rejected by 12 different publishing houses. After 12 months of trying, someone finally agreed to publish J K Rowling's book. Finishing the book was not easy either, she had just moved countries, split up with her husband, had no job, and was living on state support with a young child.
That's RESILIENCE in ACTION!
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EVALUATE YOUR RESILIENCE Give yourself a mark out of 10 for each of the following statements. 1 is the lowest and 10 is the highest score you can give yourself. Whenever I fail at something, it doesn't bother me and I bounce back quickly:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
I believe in myself and have confidence in my ability:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
I am very good at seeing things through to the end, I rarely give up:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
When faced with something challenging, new, or difficult, I am someone who comes up with ideas and solutions rather than problems and obstacles:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
I always try to do my best even when nobody is looking:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
I believe that hard work is more important than talent:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
I am pretty good at controlling my emotions and my thoughts:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
I am a creative thinker, I am good at coming up with ideas and solutions:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
I see myself as a resilient person and other people would agree:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
I am more of a glass half-full than a glass half-empty kind of person:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10 page 3
WHY IS RESILIENCE IMPORTANT?
activity 2
Thanks to the last activity we now have a better understanding of what RESILIENCE is... but why is RESILIENCE important? Who better to ask than your parent or caregiver? Ask them the questions below, hopefully you will understand RESILIENCE through some of their life experiences (good and bad). Remember to write down their answers for your records. Describe a successful experience from your past when you showed your resilience:
Tell me something that you learned from this experience:
Describe an unsuccessful experience i.e. when you weren't resilient:
Tell me one thing that you learned from this experience:
If you could relive that experience, what would you do differently?
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WHY IS RESILIENCE IMPORTANT? Now you know what RESILIENCE is and you have seen what being resilient (or not), is like in the real world, what about you? Why do you think it's important to BE RESILIENT? Here we have a few questions for you to answer... What did you learn from what your parent/ caregiver said?
Describe a situation from your past when you showed your RESILIENCE.
Can you think of 3 reasons why it's important that YOU are RESILIENT?
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WHY IS RESILIENCE IMPORTANT?
You already know quite a bit about RESILIENCE so, it's QUIZ time! Circle the answer you think is right and check your answers at the bottom. 1. RESILIENCE is... A) Something you can learn. B) Something that other people have. C) Something you have or you don't have. 2. Which of the following best describes a person who is resilient? A) They do things that they know they are good at. B) They try new things and don't mind if they mess up. C) They never really try anything new. 3. You promised your best friend that you would help them with their homework, but then some other friends ask you to play. What do you do? A) You call your friend and say that you will be round later than planned and then you head out to play for a bit. B) You say sorry to your friends as you have already promised your friend that you would help them. C) You call your friend and say "sorry", but you will have to help tomorrow. 4. You have to choose a partner for a school project, who would you choose? A) John: who is clever, but doesn't try very hard. B) Jane: she is very clever but prefers to work alone. C) James: he's smart, nice and always tries his best. D) Jill: she's smart and gets on well with everyone. 5. You have tried lots of times to get into the school team, without success. What should you do? A) Keep trying... you never know! B) Ask the coach for some feedback about what you need to practice. C) I think that maybe they are trying to tell you something- time to let it go.
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WHY IS RESILIENCE IMPORTANT? 6. How does being resilient help you to solve problems? A) It doesn't this is a trick question. B) Solving problems is difficult- you often have to overcome setbacks. C) It doesn't matter if you are resilient, what matters is how clever you are. 7. Which of these is the most accurate definition of resilience? A) The ability to succeed through your skill and intelligence. B) The ability to bounce back from the difficult situations in life. C) The ability to really understand what someone else is feeling. 8. You are really struggling with some maths homework... what do you do? A) Ask someone to do it for you and watch them so you know for next time. B) Try and solve the problem yourself, if that doesn't work, ask for help so you can understand what you need to do. C) Copy the answers from a friend. 9. If you are resilient, you are most likely to be good at... A) Solving problems. B) Doing homework. C) Playing sports. 10. A person who has resilience will be... A) Someone who believes in themselves and their ability. B) Someone who believes in others. C) Someone who believes in themselves occasionally 11. Unfortunately you have already failed a school project, but you still have to finish it. Do you... A) Do a reasonable job, but there's no point going crazy. B) Just do the bare minimum. C) Try your best anyway.
Answers: 1=A
4 = C
7= B
10= A
2=B
5=B
8=B
11 = C
3=B
6=B
9=A
Scores:
9-11 = RESILIENCE JEDI MASTER 6-9 = RESILIENCE ACHIEVER 0-5 = RESILIENCE IMPROVER page 8
HOW TO BE POSITIVE
activity 3
why do we need to be positive? Life won't always go according to plan, and if you want to achieve your goals, you are going to have to recover from setbacks along the way. Being POSITIVE will help you do this. In fact, research tells us that being POSITIVE has an impressive list of benefits: you are tougher mentally you stick with things for longer you will be happier, healthier and live longer A POSITIVE attitude will help you to look for solutions and ideas to make things better- solving problems is a vital skill for you to have in your life. POSITIVITY helps you to feel good about yourself, about others, and the world around you.
how to be positive (even when things go wrong) Let's use a difficult example to illustrate how you can use positivity in a not very positive situation. Let's imagine that you had a big fall out with your best friend, and as a result they are no longer your best friend. Now that's a tough one, right? If this happened to you, you would have felt really bad at the time and would probably still feel sad and upset. So what do you do? Here's what we do below... we remember our 123.
the positivity 123 We think of ONE POSITIVE thing that happened as a result of this experience. We think of TWO THINGS WE LEARNED from this experience. We think of THREE THINGS WE CAN DO DIFFERENTLY next time. We do it in the colour of traffic lights so it's really easy to remember the 123. page 9
HOW TO BE POSITIVE applying 123 to our example of falling out with our friend ONE POSITIVE THING: 1: I now have lots of new friends.
TWO THINGS I LEARNED: 1: I can't control what other people say and do, but I can control what I say and do. 2: I should not worry so much about what people think.
THREE THINGS I CAN DO DIFFERENTLY: 1: Not to worry when things don't go well because it will work out fine in the end.. 2: Speak to an adult when things go wrong- I got some great advice from Mum. 3: Next time apologise quickly when I do something wrong.
it's important to remember Being POSITIVE doesn't change facts... instead it changes how you feel about them and what you then do about them. We aren't suggesting that false positivity is good... there's no point saying that everything is AWESOME- when it isn't. We aren't saying that PESSIMISM is bad either, in fact, sometimes it's incredibly useful- it's good to be prepared if things don't go to plan. What we are saying though, is that it's extremely useful to be able to think positively and to recognise that no matter the situation, it's an experience you can learn from.
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HOW TO BE POSITIVE over to you... You have a good understanding of POSITIVITY and why it is a really useful tool. Positivity is a great way to help you be RESILIENT. Now it's time for you to experience how this process works by applying 123 to a real life situation from your past. The situation I am thinking of is...
ONE POSITIVE THING ABOUT THIS SITUATION: 1:
TWO THINGS I LEARNED: 1: 2:
THREE THINGS I CAN DO DIFFERENTLY: 1: 2: 3:
That's fantastic work... well done! Now, are you up for a challenge? page 11
HOW TO BE POSITIVE 7 day challenge For the next 7 days. Your mission is to complete the 7 boxes below. Be on the lookout for things that made you:
h laug
or you:
happy
feel grateful appreciate life smile
our did y best
tried something new
were brave
pro l ud fee ed v o l
did something creative
h elp e som e on
An example: Today was positive because I worked really hard at school and I put my hand up to ask a question in class.
your turn... day 1 day 2 day 3 day 4 day 5 day 6 day 7 page 12
WHO IS IN CONTROL... OF YOU?
activity 4
here's a question for you... Who is in control of YOU? Is it...
A) YOU
B) YOUR PARENTS
C) A CRAZY ALIEN
Hopefully you answered A. It's a silly question, but the reason we ask is because an important part of being RESILIENT is knowing that whatever happens, YOU are in charge of YOU.
let's dig a little deeper Below is a list of things that you can either CONTROL or not. Circle whether you can CONTROL them. Answers on the next page. Control: Yes or No? My thoughts....................................................... control yes / no. What other people think...................................... control yes / no. How others behave.............................................. control yes / no. What others do................................................... control yes / no. How much effort others put in............................ control yes / no. What other people say........................................ control yes / no. How others choose to feel................................... control yes / no. The past............................................................. control yes / no. My behaviour...................................................... control yes / no. My effort............................................................ control yes / no. My words............................................................ control yes / no. How I choose to feel............................................ control yes / no. What I do NEXT.................................................... control yes / no. page 13
WHO IS IN CONTROL... OF YOU? how did you do?
you choose The great thing about CONTROL is YOU get to choose what you do next. This choice is EXTREMELY powerful. It means that no matter what happens to you, you are ALWAYS in CONTROL of what you do next. To show you how this works we have an activity for you on the next page where we created a number of different scenarios that you could (or maybe have already) found yourself in. In each scenario, write down what you could CHOOSE to do next.
challenge And on the following page there is a 7 day challenge for you to see how many decisions and choices you can be in CONTROL of in your life. Good Luck!
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WHO IS IN CONTROL... OF YOU? Respond to each scenario below as to what you could do NEXT. Hint: think of thoughts you could have/ words you could say/ action you could take... NEXT. I failed a test... what can I do?
I've got so much homework to do... how can I best approach it?
I didn't get on the school team (again)... how do I react?
Someone said something nasty about me... what do I say back?
I'm worried that I am not going to get a good grade... what can I do?
I didn't get the result I wanted... what shall I do next?
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WHO IS IN CONTROL... OF YOU?
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BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
activity 5
believe What you believe about yourself is extremely important. In fact, what you believe about the type of person you are, and what you are capable of, will influence how successful you are. Your beliefs help to shape your thoughts, your actions and ultimately, the RESULTS you get. In this activity, you are going to strengthen your BELIEF in your RESILIENCE. And the cool thing is, you can use this technique to strengthen your belief in anything!
what is a belief? A belief is something that you accept is TRUE. For example, you might believe that football is the best sport, you might believe that you are a fantastic dancer, or that school is fun! But have you ever thought about WHY you believe what you believe?
how beliefs work Think of something that you are good at: art, computer games, sport, dancinganything. Got something? OK. Now, here's a question for you: Why do you believe you are good at it? Write down 3 reasons why you believe you are good at it:
1. 2. 3. “You have to believe. Otherwise, it will never happen.” ― Neil Gaiman, Stardust page 17
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF let's look at the evidence Now, take a look at the 3 reasons you have written down. These reasons are EVIDENCE that supports the belief that you are GOOD at whatever you chose. And, just like anything else, at one point in your life you weren't good at this thing, but with practice and experience, you improved. As you improved, your results improved too, which meant that your brain had more evidence to support your BELIEF.
here's how they work strengthens
BELIEF
EVIDENCE
produce
influences
BEHAVIOUR
RESULTS
influences
Your BELIEFS influence your behaviour. Your BEHAVIOUR influences the results you get. Your RESULTS produce more evidence. The more EVIDENCE you have the stronger the belief.
challenge On the next page you will find your 7 day challenge. See how much EVIDENCE of your RESILIENCE you can collect over the next week. Good Luck! page 18
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
day 1: Today I showed I am resilient when I did my best even when I didn't feel very positive. day 1:Â day 2 day 3
day 4 day 5 day 6 day 7 page 19
WELL DONE! PRA
CTIC
job done
MAK
Awesome work. You have finished this RESILIENCE booklet.
ES PER FECT
E
Now that you know all about how to be RESILIENT the key thing is to practice being RESILIENT every single day. Just as you need to exercise regularly to keep fit, practicing your resilience each day means that you become more and more resilient.
21 day challenge With that in mind, you are now ready to take the 21 day RESILIENCE challenge. Ask your parent or caregiver to print it out for you and you will get to learn more about how to be RESILIENT and get in the habit of using your resilience each and every day.
award On the next page you will find a RESILIENCE award from us. It just needs you to write your name and then put it up on your wall. By completing this booklet you have achieved RESILIENCE LEGEND status. You should be very proud of all of your hard work and effort. Keep up the excellent work. Take care, The
Team.Â
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AWARD
resilience legend
is awarded to