ACROSS SPAIN APRIL 2013 EDITION

ISSUE 23 APRIL 2013

FREE ON‐LINE MAGAZINE

IN THIS MON APRIL FOOLS DAY THE GRAND NATIONAL

FERIA DE ABRIL MOROS Y CHRISTIANOS ACROSS SPAIN LA GOMERA SPANISH STARS JAVIER BARDEM THE SILENT KILLER THE MONEY TABOO

WORK AT HOME APRIL MOVIE RELEASES

NTHS ISSUE BOOK REVIEW: THE YIPS TV INTERVIEW

BEAUTY FASHION LONG HAUL CAYMAN ISLANDS CELEBRRITY BIRTHDAYS

MOTORING BRITS ARE SNIFF TESTERS RECIPES CRAZY COLOURS HIT CANINE WORLD

Dear Subscriber, Welcome to ACROSS SPAINS April Issue. We hope that all our readers enjoyed their Easter & we are all now looking forward to the warmer, drier weather. In this months magazine we’ve got a feature on April Fools Day pranks, the Grand National, an interview with Dr. Who writer Steven Moffat & a fabulous Long Haul destination—The Cayman Islands as well as the usual April movie releases, book reviews, celebrity birthdays, horoscopes, beauty, etc.

If you’ve enjoyed reading ACROSS SPAIN why not tell your friends & family to Subscribe? It’s totally FREE and completely confidential. Tell them to visit www.acrossspain.es and hit the subscribe button.

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Published by Across Media Email: office@acrossspain.es Web: www.acrossspain.es Whilst every care has been taken to ensure that the data in this publication is accurate, neither the Publisher nor its editorial contributors can accept, and hereby disclaim, any liability to any party to loss or damage caused by errors or omissions resulting from negligence, accident or any other cause. All rights are reserved. No part of this publication may be copied, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording or otherwise. office@acrossspain.es Web: www.acrossspain.es

On 1 April 1957, the respected BBC news

show Panorama announced that thanks to a very

mild winter and the virtual elimination of the

dreaded spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were

enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied

this announcement with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in. Many called the BBC wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti tree. To this the BBC diplomatically replied, "place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best."

In 1962 there was only one TV channel in Sweden, and it broadcast in black and white. But on 1 April 1962, the station's technical expert, Kjell Stensson, appeared on the news to announce that, thanks to a new technology, viewers could convert their existing sets to display colour reception. All they had to do was pull a nylon stocking over their TV screen. Stensson proceeded to demonstrate the process. Thousands of people were taken in. Regular colour broadcasts only commenced in Sweden on April 1, 1970.

1980: The BBC reported that Big Ben, in order to keep up with the times, was

going to be given a digital readout. The announcement received a huge

response from listeners shocked and angered by the proposed change. The

BBC Japanese service also announced that the clock hands would be sold to

the first four listeners to contact them. One Japanese seaman in the

mid‐Atlantic immediately radioed in a bid.

1980: Soldier magazine revealed that the fur on the bearskin helmets worn by

the Irish guards while on duty at Buckingham

Palace keeps growing and needs to be regularly

trimmed: The most hair‐raising fact about the bearskins has

been discovered by scientists recently. The skins retain an

original hormone, which lives on after the animal has been

skinned. Scientists call it otiose and it is hoped it can be put to

use in medical research — especially into baldness.

The article quoted Maj. Ursa who noted, "Bears hibernate in the

winter and the amazing thing is that in the spring the skins really

start to sprout." The story was picked up by the London Daily

Express and run as a straight story.

On March 31, 1989 thousands of motorists driving outside London

looked up in the air to see a glowing flying saucer descending on their city. Many of them pulled to the side of the road to watch the bizarre craft float through the air. The saucer finally landed in a field on the outskirts of London where local residents immediately called the police to warn them of an alien invasion. Soon the police arrived on the scene, and one brave officer approached the craft with his truncheon extended before him. When a door in the craft popped open, and a small, silver‐suited figure emerged, the policeman ran in the opposite direction. The saucer turned out to be a hot‐air balloon that had been specially built to look like a UFO by Richard Branson, the 36‐year‐old chairman of Virgin Records. The stunt combined his passion for ballooning with his love of pranks. His plan was to land the craft in London's Hyde Park on April 1. Unfortunately, the wind blew him off course, and he was forced to land a day early in the wrong location.

1993: Westdeutsche Rundfunk, a German radio station,

announced that officials in Cologne had just passed an unusual

new city regulation. Joggers going through the park would be

required to pace themselves to go no faster than six mph. Any

faster, it was felt, would unnecessarily disturb the squirrels who

were in the middle of their mating season.

1997: An email message spread throughout the world announcing

that the internet would be shut down for cleaning for twenty‐four

hours from March 31 until April 2. This cleaning was said to be

necessary to clear out the "electronic flotsam and jetsam" that

had accumulated in the network. Dead email and inactive ftp,

www, and gopher sites would be purged. The cleaning would be

done by "five very powerful Japanese‐built multi‐lingual Internet‐ crawling robots (Toshiba ML‐2274) situated around the world." During this period, users were warned to disconnect all devices from the internet. The message supposedly originated from the "Interconnected Network Maintenance Staff, Main Branch, Massachusetts Institute of Technology." This joke was an updated version of an old joke that used to be told about the phone system. For many years, gullible phone customers had been warned that the phone systems would be cleaned on April Fool's Day. They were cautioned to place plastic bags over the ends of the phone to catch the dust that might be blown out of the phone lines during this period.

2002: The British supermarket chain Tesco published an advertisement in The Sun announcing the successful development of a genetically modified 'whistling carrot.' The ad explained that the carrots had been specially engineered to grow with tapered air holes in their side. When fully cooked, these air holes caused the vegetable to whistle.

2007: In late March 2007, images of an 8‐inch mummified creature resembling a fairy were posted on the website of the Lebanon Circle Magik Co. Accompanying text explained how the creature had been found by a man walking his dog along an old roman road in rural Derbyshire. Word of this discovery soon spread around the internet.

Bloggers excitedly speculated about whether the find was evidence of the actual existence of fairies. By April 1 the Lebanon Circle website had received tens of thousands of visitors and hundreds of emails.

But at the end of April 1, Dan Baines, the owner of the site, confessed that the fairy was a hoax. He had used his skills as a magician's prop‐maker to create the creature. Baines later reported that, even after his confession, he continued to receive numerous emails from people who refused to accept the fairy wasn't real.

On 1 April 2008, the BBC announced that camera

crews filming near the Antarctic for its natural history

series Miracles of Evolution had captured footage of

Adélie penguins taking to the air. It even offered a

video clip of these flying penguins, which became one

of the most viewed videos on the internet. Presenter

Terry Jones explained that, instead of huddling

together to endure the Antarctic winter, these

penguins took to the air and flew thousands of miles

to the rainforests of South America where they "spend the winter basking in the tropical sun." A follow‐up video explained how the BBC created the special effects of the flying penguins

Burger King published a full page advertisement in the April 1st edition of USA Today announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a "Left‐Handed Whopper" specially designed for the 32 million left‐handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left‐handed customers. The following day Burger King issued a follow‐up release revealing that although the Left‐Handed Whopper was a hoax, thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request the new sandwich. Simultaneously, according to the press release, "many others requested their own 'right handed' version."

One of the most famous steeple

chases in the world is the Grand

National Horse Race, which takes

place this April. The Grand Opening

Day takes place on Thursday 4th April and marks the first day of the three‐day festivities, which culminates in the 167th running of the John Smith’s Grand National on Saturday 6th April. Grand Opening Day, on Thursday 4 April, will feature a host of live music acts, including a headline performance from chart‐topping girl group The Saturdays and a performance from electronic string quartet Escala, with a number of other well‐known guests set to perform. With entertainment for the whole family, it will be a great way to kick off the Easter holidays. As well as the music line‐up, the world‐famous Red Devils parachute display team will be showing off their daring feats. MD Productions, the dance crew who wowed the nation on Britain’s Got Talent will also be performing some of their stunning routines. To encourage families to come down and experience the fun of Grand Opening Day, those aged 17 and under will be given free entry to the Tattersalls Enclosure when accompanied by a paying adult.

The Grand National is a test for both the horses and the riders with the course nearly two and quarter miles in length and with 16 unique fences. In the Grand National the horses have to complete almost two circuits of the course and jump 30 fences before a long 494‐yard run to the finishing post.

The first Official Grand National was in 1839 although at that time it was called the Grand Liverpool Steeplechase. The race was won by a Lottery and he is in the history books as the first winner of the race. Captain Becher was also running that year but he fell into the brook at the fence that now holds his name.

In 1904 a ship bringing a horse called

Moifaa from New Zealand to the race,

was lost at sea and the horse had to

swim ashore. It was said he had to

swim 50 miles to an island where he

was recovered and went on to not

only run in the race but to win the

race.

During World War 1 the race was held at Gatwick but during the Second World War the race was not run between 1941 and 1945 as the course was used for military purposes.

In 1947 the Prime Minister Clement Attlee requested that the race be run on Saturday, as it would be “in the interests of British industry”.

The BBC showed the Grand National live on television for the first time in 1960 and they have been showing the race ever since.

The most famous Grand National horse of all time was Red Rum. He won the Grand National in 1973, 1974 and 1977 and also came second in the intervening years. In a 2002 UK poll, Red Rum’s historic third triumph in the Grand National was voted the 24th greatest sporting moment of all time. Red Rum was prepared for a sixth attempt at the Grand National in 9178 but suffered a hairline fracture the day before the race and was then retired. He became a national celebrity, opening supermarkets and annually leading the Grand National parade for many years. He helped open the Steeplechase rollercoaster at Blackpool Pleasure Beach in 1977 and switched on the Blackpool illuminations the same year. He also appeared as a studio guest at the BBC Sports Personality of the Year awards ceremony in 1977. Red Rum died on 18th October 1995 aged 30. He was buried at the winning post of the Aintree Racecourse.

La Feria de Abril officially begins on Monday at midnight 2 weeks after Semana

Santa and is a huge annual event in Seville. The Feria originally started as a cattle‐

trading fair in 1847 and has evolved throughout the years into the amazing specta‐ cle that it now is. The Feria is held at the Real de la Feria just outside the city. Here you

will find 1,000’s of brightly decorated marquees, most of which have music, a bar

and flamenco performances. Some marquees are “invitations only” while others

are “free” with their bars open to the public. Next to the site is a huge fairground

with all the usual rides. Every day at noon there is the Paseo de Caballas procession

where the local girls, dressed in their beautiful flamenco dresses, are driven through

the city in carriages pulled by magnificent horses. Accompanying the carriages are

strolling singers who play traditional Sevillana ballads on their guitars. Many of the

parade participants are members of Seville's high aristocracy, wearing the wide‐

brimmed “bolero” hats and short cropped jackets. For most days of the Feria you

can experience some of the top bullfights at the Plaza de Toros de Maestranza, one

of the most famous bullfighting venues in all of Spain. La Feria attracts top‐notch

matadors from all over Spain. On the Sunday

the Feria ends with an enormous firework

display.

The festival of Moros y Cristianos

in Alcoy, Alicante takes place from

April 21st to April 24th and

commemorates the Battle of Alcoy in 1275 when St. George helped defeat the Moorish forces lead by Al Azraq.

All year the people of the city prepare for the festival by fund raising and preparing costumes. During the four‐day festival 28 Christian and Moorish armies march around the town accompanied by their own bands.

The people lining the streets admire and encourage the warriors. Soldiers march, sergeant’s wave to the crowds and horseman show off their skills. Mock battles take place between the armies of the Moros y Cristianos. The streets are decorated with the red cross of St. George. On the final day of the festival the Christians are defeated in the morning and the Moorish crescent can be seen on the ramparts of the castle.

But then in the afternoon with the appearance of St. George at the top of the castle, the Christians surround the Moors and defeat them. Although not historically accurate a lot of attention is given to the details of the costumes. At the end of the fiesta the captains donate their costumes to the Moors and Christians museum.

This is one of Spain’s greatest and noisiest festivals.

La Gomera is the second smallest of the seven main Canary islands. It has wild landscapes and unique flora and makes a wonderful holiday destination.

Nature lovers will be amazed at the isolated bays and quiet beaches on the rugged coast of the island. Most beaches have black sand and beautiful clean water.

The beautiful harbour town Playa Santiago in the island’s sunny south boasts a golf course and a sandy bay. One of the island’s most beautiful towns is Agulo, which is located against a cliff face on a rock plateau above the ocean.

Player de la Caleta on the north shore of La Gomera lies in a wind protected bay and has pic‐ nic areas and a small bar that is open in the summer months, offering fresh fish.

There is an amazingly diverse selection of accommodation on La Gomera from hotels, holiday homes and apartments. The hotels suit every taste and budget.

La Gomera has a wide range of activities throughout the year allowing you to stay physically active or just enjoy a relaxing boat trip. You may have the chance o meet playful dolphins in the coastal waters or with luck, whales can be seen. There are boat trips available that leave in the early morning allowing you hours out on the Atlantic with the chance to get close to these impressive mammals. Pilot and beaked whales are often spotted and even sometimes sperm and minke whales can be seen. There are also 21 species of dolphins that have been spotted in the area. The Atlantic bottlenose dolphin is spotted the most frequently and often swim alongside the boats for hours at a time.

If you want the chance to explore La Gomera a great way is by hiking following old donkey paths, steep hills or pleasant forest paths. Golf and mountain cycling and also becoming more and more popular on La Gomera.

JAVIER BARDEM

Javier Bardem was born in Las

Palmas in the Canary Islands.

Javier Bardem is the youngest

member of a family of actors

that has been making films since

the early days of Spanish cinema.

Both his older brother and sister

Carlos and Monica are actors.

Bardem appeared in his first feature “El Picaro” (The Scoundrel) at the age of six. During his teenage years, he acted in several TV series and toured the country with an independent theatrical group as well as playing rugby for the Spanish National Team. However, his first love was painting and he studied for four years at Madrid’s Escuela de Artes y Oficios. In need of money he took acting jobs to support his painting and eventually abandoned his painting career.

Bardem starred in his first major motion picture, The Ages of Lulu, when he was 20 but he was propelled to fame in 1992, by his role as a potential underwear model and would be bullfighter in “Jamon, jamon”, which also starred a teenage Penelope Cruz. In 1997, John Malkovich was the first to approach him for a role in English, but Bardem turned down the offer because his English was still poor. His first English‐speaking role came that same year in “Perdita Durango”, playing a bank robber. He gained international recognition in “Before Night Falls” in 2000, portraying Cuban poet Reinaldo Arenas. He received a nomination for an Academy Award for Best Actor, the first for a Spaniard.

In 2002, Bardem starred in John Malkovich’s “The Dancer Upstairs”. He made his Hollywood debut in a brief appearance as a crime lord who summons Tom Cruise’s hitman to do the dirty work of dispatching witnesses in the crime drama “Collateral”. He starred opposite Natalie Portman in “Goya’s Ghosts” playing a twisted monk during the Spanish Inquisition.

He became the first Spanish actor to win an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his role as a sociopath assassin Anton Chigurh in “No Country for Old Men”. He also won a Golden Globe Award, A BAFTA and a Screen Actors Guild Award. In 2008, the character Chigurh was named No. 26 in Entertainment Weekly magazine’s 50 Most Vile Villains in Movie History.

Francis Ford Coppola singled out Bardem as an heir to, and even an improvement on Al Pacino, Jack Nicholson and Robert DeNiro.

In 2007 Bardem began dating Penelope Cruz with whom he starred alongside in Woody Allen’s “Vicky Christina Barcelona”. Bardem and Cruz are famously private and will not talk about their personal lives. The couple married in July 2010 in The Bahamas. They have one son born in January 2011 and it was reported in February 2013 that Cruz is pregnant with the couple’s second child.

Bardem is now fluent in English.

He is a fan of heavy metal music, in particular AC/DC. Bardem cannot drive, only getting behind the wheel for film roles.

The facts: Healthy Alternative to Smoking Can an E‐Cigarette really replace a real cigarette?

The answer is that it all depends on the product.

There are many kinds of E‐cigarettes on the market, but very few of them are of the same quality as eGo‐T. This product is world renowned and is only now beginning to find its place in Spain.

The eGo‐T should not be compared with a typical plastic inhaler from the pharmacy or other cheap e ‐cigarette models on the market. Here is a top product, electronical engineering of the highest quality, not to mention the taste and smoke, which in this case is steam. You can not tell the difference between an eGo T and a Tobacco Cigarette.

Is steam vapour from E‐Smoking bad for the lungs?

The answer is NO. Water in the lungs is caused most often from a disease called pulmonary edema, where body fluids (blood plasma) enters the lungs and therefore has nothing to do with water or steam. The human body is designed so that water and steam in such small amounts can accumulate in the lungs but will be naturally excreted from the body.

Is E‐Smoking as dangerous as regular smoking?

We have produced our e‐liquids in the EU, we are fully aware of what our e‐liquid contents are 70% VG (vegetable glycerine) 30% PG (propylene glycol) Nicotine and flavours are approved for food industry, other stores and online shops are selling cheaply produced fluids from China and other Asian countries. Ordinary cigarettes contain toxic substances such as Radon, Acetone, Benzene, DDT, Polonium‐210, nitrate, lead, formaldehyde, cyanide, and carbon dioxide, Tar, Arsenic and Nicotine.

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Is there Nicotine in E‐liquids There are different strengths in E‐liquids from 18mg ‐11mg down to 6mg and also 0 Nicotine in e‐liquids. The same as any Nicotine replacement aids, gums & patches and inhalers all contain different strengths of nicotine. Doctors recommend the dose of nicotine should be slowly decreased. Nicotine is stimulant so smokers whom give up smoking cigarettes can experience weight gain due to stopping there intake of nicotine.

The T‐cig package

We have put together an extensive Starter Kit which will aid you to switch from your regular smoking habit and cost you a fraction of the price. That’s why 90% of our customers have now swapped to this healthy alternative and are now saving 1000s. When you purchase our starter kit you get 2 x 10ml e‐liquid bottles 10mg or 18mg worth €13.95 which is equal to 400 tobacco cigarettes or box of 20 a day for 30 days. You can then choose to lower your nicotine strengths as you choose on a monthly basis for less than €1 a day.

New research has

revealed an alarming

level of ignorance

about a potential

killer in our homes.

Millions of families

are unprotected from

carbon monoxide

leaks and are

unaware of the

warning signs of leaks

or even poisoning,

according to the latest

research from the

AA's Home

Emergency Response.

The findings reveal that only one in three adults has a carbon monoxide monitor installed that they have checked in the last 12 months, leaving two thirds potentially unprotected from carbon monoxide poisoning in their homes. And many householders don't seem to be aware of many of the possible signs of a carbon monoxide leak, with over a quarter unaware of the main symptoms of CO poisoning such as headaches, nausea and aching limbs which are often confused with the flu. CO poisoning can also lead to people and pets becoming unconscious and in some cases could prove fatal.

Just 14 per cent of adults realise that dark staining around or on appliances can indicate a CO leak and only 17 per cent are aware that a lazy orange flame on their cooker means it is not burning correctly and could lead to the same problem. Alarmingly, 16 per cent believe that a smell of gas signifies carbon monoxide is present.

Tom Stringer, of the AA's Home Emergency Response Service, says: The biggest issue with carbon monoxide is that you can't smell it, see it or taste it which is why it's often referred to as the silent killer.

If you can smell gas, it's more likely you have a gas leak but if you suspect a gas or carbon monoxide leak you should call the national gas emergency line.

As the heating is switched on, the AA is reminding people to ensure their boiler is regularly serviced by a Gas Safe engineer, making sure it's working properly, safely and efficiently.

Tom continues: Whilst all fossil fuel burning appliances can

cause carbon monoxide poisoning, one of the main sources is

faulty gas appliances such as boilers.

In times when many household budgets are squeezed it can be tempting to cut back on things like boiler services. However, this could be a real false economy in the long run and problems can easily escalate from an annoyance to an emergency. Getting a service on your boiler is like getting your car serviced ‐ it's something we use every day and can't expect it to run properly if it's not maintained.

The AA recommends householders fit a CO detector that conforms to the relevant standard and as with any detector, it should be regularly checked.

Carbon monoxide detectors cost around €20 and should conform to EN50291. Those that sound an alarm upon detecting CO are recommended in case a leak results in CO building up during the night.

The research also provides a stark warning for tenants as it shows that almost two thirds of people renting a property didn't ask to see their landlord's gas safety certificate when they moved in. Indeed, according to the Gas Safety Trust private tenants are 50 per cent more likely to suffer a carbon monoxide incident than owner/occupiers.

Tom adds: Tenants should make sure that they ask to see the safety certificate for the gas appliances in the property ‐ that way they will know they have been checked in the last 12 months.

In the UK the Chancellor has now played his hand and revealed his Budget and we now know that the deficit this year will be ÂŁ123.2bn. Gross domestic product, which grew by a negligible 0.2% in 2012, is forecast to expand by 0.6% this year and by 1.8% in 2014. Needless to say, those growth projections are lower than they were when they were last wheeled out in the Autumn Statement. Elsewhere in the speech were the usual selection of tax cuts and stimulus measures which have now been well-documented. It was not the Budget for growth that had been predicted and hoped for but "a Budget for people who aspire to work hard and get on", "a Budget for an aspiration nation" and "a Budget for a Britain that wants to be prosperous, solvent and free".

Investors didn't know quite what to make of it but they had great fun trying to come to a decision before, during and after the 54-minute speech. During the London session Cable ranged across one and a half US cents and the pound covered more than one euro cent. The Chancellor did not shift the emphasis of the Monetary Policy Committee (MPC) from inflation to growth (although he did say the MPC's remit was up for discussion). The minutes of the March MPC meeting did not show any increase in the number of members voting for more asset purchases.

The employment data did not show an increase in either the rate of unemployment or the number of jobseekers. There was plenty that could have gone wrong for the pound but none of it did.

In the eurozone just when we thought matters were settling, up pops the issue in Cyprus who have to find around 5 billion euros before receiving the bailout from the ECB etc. Its now well documented that all Cypriot bank account holders were asked to pay however the government voted against this and now finds itself in a position of potentially running out of cash and leaving the country bankrupt, The Chancellor has now played his hand and revealed his Budget and we now know that the deficit this year will be ÂŁ123.2bn. Gross domestic product, which grew by a negligible 0.2% in 2012, is forecast to expand by 0.6% this year and by 1.8% in 2014. Needless to say, those growth projections are lower than they were when they were last wheeled out in the Autumn Statement. Elsewhere in the speech were the usual selection of tax cuts and stimulus measures which have been well-documented in this morning's papers. It was not the Budget for growth that we predicted yesterday morning but "a Budget for people who aspire to work hard and get on", "a Budget for an aspiration nation" and "a Budget for a Britain that wants to be prosperous, solvent and free".

Investors didn't know quite what to make of it but they had great fun trying to come to a decision before, during and after the 54-minute speech. During the London session Cable ranged across one and a half US cents and the pound covered more than one euro cent. The Chancellor did not shift the emphasis of the Monetary Policy Committee (MPC) from inflation to growth (although he did say the MPC's remit was up for discussion). The minutes of the March MPC meeting did not show any increase in the number of members voting for more asset purchases.

The employment data did not show an increase in either the rate of unemployment or the number of jobseekers. There was plenty that could have gone wrong for the pound but none of it did. Looking forward and the incoming new governor for The Bank of England he will now have a different job to the last one as The Bank has now been handed new powers to look at unemployment and boost growth.

In the eurozone just when we thought matters were settling up pops the issue in Cyprus who have to find around 5 billion euros before receiving the bailout from the ECB etc. Its now well documented that all Cypriot bank account holders were asked to pay however the government voted against this and now finds itself in a position of potentially running out of cash and leaving the country bankrupt, who will have bailed them out runs between, yes the EU/ECB/IMF, Russia or maybe the church by the time you read this however the answer will have been found.

Its not just Cyprus however that is causing some concern the OECD has trimmed its growth forecast for France and suggests it must do a lot more to be competitive and create jobs at the same time suggesting the French government avoid any further spending cuts.

Better news for the zone came when a recent survey showed consumer confidence improving and investors still liking Spanish and Italian bonds and Portugal successfully selling government bonds.

In the USA the Federal Reserve commits itself to long term low interest rates and maintaining its monthly bond buying programme and with unemployment dropping and new housing starts increasing its beginning to look a healthier picture in the US. Exchange rates over the month have seen quite a bit of volatility and are shown below CURRENCY

HIGH

LOW

GBP to USD

1.5473

1.4849

GBP to EUR

1.1744

1.1357

EUR to USD

1.3385

1.2858

To get more for your money contact our preferred currency specialist Moneycorp by ringing 952587657 and quote Across Spain, a free no obligation chat takes just a couple of minutes and you can end up saving thousands.

Talking about money has traditionally been taboo in Britain ‐ whether times are good or bad.

Feelings of embarrassment and shame which accompany personal debt are commonplace, whether the debt is your fault or not.

But Brits whose bank balances are on the up are even more reluctant to discuss their financial situation, possibly for fear of being accused of boasting when many others are struggling.

However, both groups are likely to be missing out on making the most of what they have by refusing to take the a key step towards managing their money well.

For while many of us are getting better at talking about personal issues like relationships or health, we still find it difficult to talk about money.

A survey for the Government's Money Advice Service found that one in four of us don't feel confident enough to chat about cash and worry about appearing weak or foolish if we reveal details about our finances.

But the independent agency says that while the desire to keep some things, such as bank account details, private is essential to protect ourselves it is actually preventing many of us from taking advantage of benefiting from financial expertise.

Revealing how much we earn is still probably one of the biggest money taboos in the UK. While we don't want to discuss our income with people we don't know, sharing this information with a trusted source can help you find out about tax‐efficient ways to save for the future and how best to prepare for retirement.

Talking about debt can be very difficult different reasons. It's common to feel embarrassed or ashamed if you find yourself with unmanageable debts but talking is the first step towards dealing with it. The MAS advises talking to people you owe money to, charitable debt organisations or one of their money advisors can all make a difference and are a step towards getting back in control.

Of course many people are worried about job security in the current economic climate but only around half of us would seek advice from family or friends if we were at risk of, or had been made, redundant.

Conversely, we tend to feel even more uncomfortable talking about our money situation in good times. While half of us would look for help if we were struggling to make ends meet, less than a third would seek advice if our income increased.

The MAS recommends getting a free health check on their website to get a clear picture of your finances, and then consider sharing your action plan with family or friends in the same way as you would share diet tips.

And don't be embarrassed to share your money‐saving tips with your friends ‐ they'll probably thank you for it and will hopefully join you on the journey to get financially fit.

Setting an example at home is another great step to start smashing this taboo for the younger generation. Many of us can feel uncomfortable talking about money to, or in front of, our children but you don't need to talk precise figures.

Simply bringing the subject out into the open and explaining the types of decisions you need to make ‐ such as why you are taking a picnic on a day out rather than eating in a restaurant ‐ will start to prepare them for when they make their own.

For more information, visit the MAS website at moneyadviceservice.org.uk or call them free on 0300 500 5000 where advisors are available to discuss a wide range of issues ‐ from everyday money matters to future plans and goals.

Telephone them on 951319700 costadelsol@moneycorp.com

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Smartphones, tablets and wireless technology mean that we are now more connected than ever to the virtual world. The advances have opened up previously unimaginable accessibility of entertainment, networking and shopping ‐ but there are downsides as well.

The average UK worker now puts in more than three weeks of overtime a year just by answering calls and emails at home, a new study reveals. In a survey of 1,000 workers, 93% of people say they keep working when they have left the office ‐ for a total of three hours and 31 minutes each week. That's a grand total of 15 hours a month or 183 hours a year ‐ the equivalent of 23 extra working days a year. But while half do it simply to stay organised, 20% want to impress the boss by putting in the extra hours. A further 37% reply to work emails in bed to keep on top of things.

And they're also using their mobiles to mix work and their personal life in new ways.

In a nod to Britain's changing work environment, 38% of those polled believe their job would now be impossible without mobile access to work email. Most people are consolidating their devices and many use the same phone for personal and work use ‐ just 15% still carry separate personal and work phones.

Smartphones and tablets have made it much easier to be able to work on the move, and that's helping people choose when and where to get things done. At the school gate, on the train or in the queue at the coffee shop, this new wave of connected device is enabling people to be more productive than ever.

The study also reveals: 66% of people check their work emails before 7am.

The average UK worker checks their phone at 6:51am.

More than a third confess that they respond to work mails in bed.

61% use their commute to read and reply to work emails.

The work day is getting longer ‐ 15% still respond to work emails after 10pm.

65% don't go to sleep until they've had a final check of work emails.

33% can't get through Saturday morning without checking their mail.

29% routinely check work emails at the dinner table and 16% reply during their meal.

Andy Jacques, of mobile security software company Good Technology which sponsored the study, says: ''There was a time when it was difficult to continue working outside of the office without carrying a laptop.

But with today's 'always on' society, people are pretty much working from the moment they wake up until the moment they fall asleep.

While most of our customers believe their employees do work more hours as a result of this accessibility, they also appreciate and welcome the enhanced work‐life balance that comes when employees have more freedom and choice as to where and when they get their work done.

Today, many businesses are allowing employees to use their personal phones for work. In fact, 42% of the people we surveyed are using the same phone for work and personal activity, which means that they are now carrying around not only sensitive corporate information, but irreplaceable personal data on the same device.

JURASIC PARK 3D

DIRECTED BY: Steven Spielberg

STARRING:

Sam Neil Laura Dern Jeff Goldblum Richard Attenborough Ariana Richards Samual L. Jackson

RELEASE DATE: Friday April 5th 2013

John Hammond, CEO of InGen, has created Jurassic Park: a theme park on a tropical island populated with cloned dinosaurs. After a dinosaur kills a workman, Hammond’s investors demand that experts visit the park and certify it is safe. Mathematician Dr. Ian Malcolm, palaeontologist Dr. Alan Grant and paleobotanist Dr. Ellie Sattler are joined by Hammond’s grandchildren Lex & Tim Murphy set off in groups in electric SUV’s on a tour of the park. The tour does not go as Hammond planned.

Not a remake, this is the release of 1993’s Jurassic Park as a remastered and IMAX 3D film.

IRON MAN 3

DIRECTED BY: Shane Black

STARRING:

Robert Downey Jr Don Cheadle Ben Kingsley Gwyneth Paltrow Ashley Hamilton James Badge Dale

RELEASE DATE: International: April 25th 2013 USA: May 3rd 2013

In Marvel’s Iron Man 3 pits brash‐but‐brilliant industrialist Tony Stark/Iron Man against an enemy whose reach knows no bounds. When Stark finds his personal world destroyed at his enemy’s hands, he embarks on a harrowing quest to find those responsible. This journey, at every turn, will test his mettle. With his back against the wall, Stark is left to survive by his own devices, relying on his ingenuity and instincts to protect those closest to him. As he fights his way back, Stark discovers the answer to the question that has secretly haunted him: does the man make the suit or does the suit make the man?

OBLIVION

DIRECTOR: Joseph Kosinski

STARRING:

Tom Cruise Olga Kurylenko Andrea Riseborough Nikolaj Coster Waldau Melissa Leo Morgan Freeman

RELEASE DATE: Friday April 19th 2013

On a future Earth evolved beyond recognition, humanity seeks a new home in the stars. Only one man (Tom Cruise) can find the truth and discover hope for our future.

Jack Harper (Cruise) is one of the last few drone repairmen stationed on Earth. Part of a massive operation to extract vital resources after decades of war with a terrifying threat known as the Scavs, Jack’s mission is nearly complete.

Living in and patrolling the breathtaking skies from thousands of feet above, his soaring existence is brought crashing down when he rescues a beautiful stranger from a downed spacecraft. Her arrival triggers a chain of events that forces him to question everything he knows and puts the fate of humanity in his hands.

If you've never read anything by Nicola Barker then our first piece of advice is to do so at the earliest opportunity. As one of the most original authors currently penning varied and often unexpected tales that seem to come from nowhere to stay with you long after the last line, her work is wholly worth the effort.

As such our second nugget of wisdom is to prepare for odd adventures in narrative. Not least as the lady in question seems to randomly indent her paragraphs and direct speech, affording a very different look to her final published pages. But this penchant for variants on standard literary traditions goes well beyond mere aesthetics, with characters and scenarios so extraordinary they're bizarrely believable.

Take The Yips , which arrives in paperback on March 28th. Long‐listed for the Man Booker prize, we're introduced to various people in the less‐than‐exclusive Luton Thistle Hotel. Each has their own story to tell, which in turn will raise a smile amongst readers. One look at Stuart Ransom, a key figure in the yarn, provides plenty of evidence for this. A pro‐golfer who has seen better days, his chauvinistic attitude and scant regard for anyone who isn't interested in him are indicative of a how cunning and ironic a creation this man is.

Alongside the tired sportsman we also have the interfering barmaid with a handful of E's at A‐level, the family of a local fascist, a Muslim sex therapist (along with his wife), a female priest, and seven‐times cancer survivor. Introductions complete, as we read on revelations emerge concerning all those parties and more, meanwhile the definition of a loose plot begins to come together, forming what can best be described as a surreal take on real life. There are no momentous events, but instead everyday occurrences in the lives of extraordinary people.

The title itself refers to a condition Ransom suffers from, which affects his nerves and, in turn, ability to take on even the simplest, least stressful of puts. Don't let this distract you, mind, as The Yips is anything but sports fiction. In fact, the man in question, despite playing a central role, is really quite far from the focus of our attention here, with the limelight shared out amongst the written equivalent of an ensemble cast. As the pages turn we observe this comedy of manners transform into an entertaining tale of coincidence, as paths cross and old, almost forgotten faces re‐appear to rekindle relationships. Charming and subtly brilliant, it's also highly recommended.

Image Credit : Doctor Who © BBC/Adrian Rogers

The medically trained man and his blue phone box are back. Doctor Who has returned triumphantly to BBC One, bringing with him everything from nuclear submarines to mysterious tribal planets. Keen to learn more, we grabbed Steven Moffat‐ the man responsible for conceiving all those plot lines‐ and had a quick word in his ear. This is what he told us.

So it's back and with a James Bond‐esque urban thriller. Why did you decide to kick‐off the new series with a very modern day threat?

It was Marcus Wilson’s idea. We were discussing how the first episode of the second run would probably be a contemporary Earth adventure, so the Doctor could meet the modern day Clara ‐ and anyway, I wanted to do Wi‐Fi monsters ‐ and Marcus suggested we do a proper urban thriller.

The Doctor can never be Bond or Bourne ‐ but if he tried it might look a bit like this.

What else can we expect from the new series?

A haunted house, a submarine, a planet with cool rings, Victorian Yorkshire, a journey to the centre of the TARDIS, Dame Diana Rigg and her daughter Rachael Stirling together on screen for the first time, new Cybermen, and the Doctor’s greatest secret revealed.

You are bringing back a couple of classic monsters with the Cybermen and Ice Warriors, are there any new ones to look out for?

Plenty of new monsters! Watch out for the Spoonheads, the Whispermen, and ‐ my favourite ‐ the Vigil. Oh and Neil Gaiman has done something horrible with the Cybermen!

We finally get to meet the Clara that will travel with the Doctor across the series' eight epic adventures. Can you tell us a little bit about her character?

You’ve sort of met her, but you sort of haven’t. The same shed load of attitude you saw before, the same rapid‐fire banter with the Doctor, but this time she’s living in modern London with no memory of the Time Lord!

How has the dynamic of the relationship between the Doctor and his companion changed since the introduction of Clara?

It’s all new for the Doctor ‐ this time the greatest mystery in the universe is standing right next to him.

What was it about Jenna that made you decide she would be right fit for the role of the new companion?

Casting is a funny process ‐ the right people sort of choose themselves. It happened with Matt a long time ago, and when we saw him bantering with Jenna it happened again. Auditions start with you telling the actor about the character ‐ sometimes they end with the actor telling you. That’s what happened with Jenna!

A ghost story, a period drama to end all period dramas and an underwater siege, was it intentional to go as big as possible with this series in the Doctor's 50th year?

We try to make every year the biggest possible, but when you see that big, glittering 50 hanging above you, you start trying even harder. I’ve been a fan all by my life and I know we have to deliver!

When times are tough women are not buying lipstick, new research from Mintel has revealed. The research from Mintel Beauty Innovation shows that the popularly held notion of the "Lipstick Effect" ‐ where women purchase lipstick as a "pick‐me‐ up" in times of hardship ‐ is, in fact, not happening in the current economic climate.

The research was conducted in three countries, UK, France and the USA, revealing fascinating insights into how female consumers are reacting in terms of beauty purchasing. Just 3% of women in each country said that they purchased a lipstick to make them selves feel better ‐ with the same percentage giving the same answer for skincare, haircare and fragrance.

In fact, lip colour came top of the list of cosmetic products women would be most likely to spend less on or stop using.

However, the research also reveals that the beauty business as a whole is resilient. Six out of ten women surveyed in all countries reported no change in their beauty buying habits, despite the troubled economy. In addition, it seems certain products are able to weather the impact of the economy. More than 60% of women in each country spent the same or more on their foundations and women in all three countries were most likely to spend the same or more on essential products such as shampoo and cleansers.

"It is a common perception that lipstick sales go up in times of economic adversity, yet this research reveals a very different picture. Haircare and skincare are actually the beauty categories where women are spending the same or more," said Nica Lewis, head consultant, Mintel Beauty Innovation.

"In this recession, Austerity Chic ‐ or looking good for less ‐ is replacing the Lipstick Effect.

Beauty is now marketed as a necessity rather than a luxury and women are being creative with their spending to keep up appearances," she continues. "This means women are investing in moisturisers, body lotion and hair care, rather than lipstick.

They are also ‐ not surprisingly ‐ adapting their spending on

beauty treatments. Americans are most likely to cut back on

beauty treatments by extending the time between treatments

or switching to DIY at‐home for facials, manicure/pedicure,

waxing, blow‐dry or hair colouring). Of users, 50% claim to have

cut down on beauty treatment spending. On the other hand,

women in the UK are least likely to stop having beauty treatments

with only one in four claiming to have stopped going for

treatments. And French women are the most frugal ‐ they are

most likely to switch from the salon to doing treatments at home.

They are also ‐ not surprisingly ‐ adapting their spending on

beauty treatments. Americans are most likely to cut back on

beauty treatments by extending the time between treatments or

switching to DIY at‐home for facials, manicure/pedicure, waxing,

blow‐dry or hair colouring). Of users, 50% claim to have cut down

on beauty treatment spending. On the other hand, women in the

UK are least likely to stop having beauty treatments with only one

in four claiming to have stopped going for treatments. And French

women are the most frugal ‐ they are most likely to switch from

the salon to doing treatments at home.

Reflecting the fact that the US has been in a recession for longer

than Europe, a third of women surveyed there said they'd switched

to a lower priced brand for their skincare, hair care or cosmetics,

compared to just 25% in the UK and France. The research also

showed that the US market favoured quantity ‐ Americans were

most likely to buy value sized or multi‐action products, followed

by the British.

French women are most dedicated to their beauty products, with 12% saying they had cut back on other things in order to keep buying their favourite beauty products. In contrast, fewer than one in ten consumers in the US and UK said the same. French women also rated highest in terms of frugality ‐ with the highest percentage saying that they prefer to wait until beauty products are on sale.

Home shopping is nothing new. We've been getting our stuff delivered to our door for decades; remember when Kays, Freemans and Grattan were all the rage back in the 70s?

Nowadays, catalogue stores are online and you can shop for anything you like in the comfort of your own home, but does it still win out over a trip to the shops? We think so.

Here are the top 5 advantages of home shopping.

1. Convenience The shops might close, but the internet never does; you can browse and order to your heart's content at all hours of the day and night ‐ even on Boxing Day when the sales start. All this while avoiding the crowds and never having to deal with a pushy sales assistant who pounces on you the minute you get through the door.

2. Transport Home shopping saves you queuing for hours to find a space in your local multi‐storey. No more fiddling around for change for the meter or worrying how you're going to carry a multitude of bags back to the car: your purchases are delivered right to your door in a matter of days.

3. Price comparison There are search engines dedicated to finding the best price for whatever item you could dream of, so unless it's your thing, you can say goodbye to traipsing from shop to shop trying to find the best deal on that must‐ have item. Try kelkoo.co.uk or pricerunner.co.uk to find the best deals.

Many catalogue shops display reviews of their products too, so you can see what other people thought of them before parting with your cash.

4. Choice Home shopping offers a choice of items that you simply can't find in the high street. One catalogue dedicated to doing just that is Kaleidoscope: in addition to stylish fashion that dares to be a little bit different, you'll find distinctive home and garden products too that you just can't get at your local Homebase.

If you're looking for more specialist items, you can browse and buy from abroad, too ‐ just remember to check the cost of delivery and the website's overseas shipping policy before you buy. Bear in mind also that some items are subject to Customs Duty, Excise Duty or Import VAT if you want to avoid the shock of having to pay the postman for your deliveries. The HMRC website will tell you what items are affected: http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/customs/post/buying.htm

5. Try before you buy Of course, you can do this in high street stores too ‐ but is there anything worse than showing all your lumps and bumps to the world while battling through a session in a cramped, sweaty communal changing room on a busy Saturday afternoon? Most catalogues offer a hassle‐free returns system and will give you a certain period of time ‐ usually 7 or 14 days ‐ to make sure you're completely happy with your new items.

Home shopping offers so many conveniences over the high street that it's hard to list them all, but these are some of our favourite plus points.

The Cayman Islands comprises three islands,

Grand Cayman, Cayman Brac and

Little Cayman located south of Cuba

and northwest of Jamaica.

The Cayman Islands are one of the world’s top dive destinations with more than 40 dive operations and more than 360 dive sites.

The calm, warm waters with 100 foot plus visibility offer a chance to see a breathtaking variety of marine life. One of the most popular attractions for divers is the wreck of the Captain Keith Tibbetts, a Russian built Cuban naval frigate which sunk in 1996 and is home for a variety of marine life.

Situated in a Marine Park governed by Cayman law, the wreck of The USS Kittiwake is a wreck that is the dynamic environment for marine life. Each of the five decks are home to squirrel fish, Goliath groupers and urchins. Divers are encouraged to explore the ships many levels but are not allowed to touch or take anything.

As well as diving, Cayman has some of the best snorkelling, with watersports operators ready to teach safe snorkelling techniques and is ideal for all ages in the safe, clear, current‐ free waters where the coral reefs and marine life have been protected thanks to Cayman’s Marine Park laws. Cayman Brac and Little Cayman offer snorkelling trips along with a beach picnic.

The warm sun and cool breeze make the Cayman Islands the

perfect place for a golf break. Accessible from Seven Mile

Beach, The North Sound Club is the only 18 hole Champion

ship course in the Cayman Islands. Open to the public it also

has a driving range, pro shop and outdoor bar, perfect for

relaxing after a round. Finding iguanas, birds and small lizards

on the course is expected and adds excitement when playing.

Other courses include the Britannia Golf Course, designed by Jack Nicklaus and Blue Tip, designed by Greg Norman.

For couples looking to plan an exotic wedding, the Cayman Islands offers the beauty to make that special day truly remarkable. With a host of wedding professionals ready to help you with everything from floral arrangements to legal requirements, tying the knot couldn’t be easier.

When the sun goes down the Cayman Islands are a hot spot. Cayman nightlife includes jazz, folk, rock & roll, reggae and calypso music. You can see a play or a concert or sip a cocktail in a sophisticated bar. You can dine in an open air restaurant, go on a romantic sunset cruise or simply stroll along the soft white sandy beaches.

Cayman Island food reflects its rich cultural heritage and incorporates several international flavours. Ingredients used include coconut, plantain, yams, rice and peas, tuna, snapper and mangoes. Traditional Cayman food includes dishes made of turtle meat as well as conch stew. Jamaican cuisine has found its way on to many menus of the Cayman Islands and jerk seasoning has become popular on several meat dishes.

The islands have a culinary option to suit any palate.

Grand Cayman is the largest of the three islands with an endless list of activities and attractions, fantastic restaurants, nightlife and underwater sights of the surrounding reefs. One of Grand Caymans main attractions is Seven Mile Beach on which a number of hotels and resorts are located. Regularly topping the listings of the world’s best beaches, it is a crescent shaped stretch of soft white sand lapped by turquoise waters and is the perfect spot to relax or try parasailing or shallow snorkelling. The lively town of Camana Bay spans 500 acres along Seven Mile Beach. Camana Bay is designed to be pedestrian friendly with landscaped walkways and cycle paths. There are lush parks, gardens, some of the best restaurants and boutiques offering luxury goods from major international brands. Seven Mile Beach is close to Stingray City and the Cayman Turtle Farm.

Stingray City is one of the top Grand Cayman attractions

and is a once in a lifetime experience for anyone who

wishes to see the majestic creatures up close.

As you enter the clear waters, the graceful

Southern stingrays glide past in only three feet

of water. You could be surrounded by more

than two dozen friendly stingrays.

The Cayman Turtle Farm allows

visitors a unique opportunity to

swim and snorkel with fish and

other marine life in its 1.3 million‐gallon salt‐water lagoon.

Guests can also come nose‐to‐nose with sharks and eels as

they peer into the predator tank or interact with starfish,

urchins and crabs at the touch pool. The Cayman Turtle Farm

is home to over 11,000 Green Sea Turtles and some are available for visitors to hold for a unique photo opportunity. It is open seven days a week from 8.30a.m. to 4.30p.m.

Located in Grand Cayman is the picturesque and peaceful Cayman Kai. Known for its crystal clear blue water and white sandy beaches it is the perfect beach for swimming or water sports. Visitors also enjoy the beauty of its lagoon, palm trees and exotic conch.

Atlantis Submarines International in Grand Cayman is the

world leader in tourist submersibles offering a memorable

tourism experience, covering attractions from the lively reefs,

shipwrecks of George Town harbour to exquisite coral

canyons.

There are a variety of shops on Grand Cayman and because Cayman is a duty free destination it is an opportunity to save on things such as watches, china and crystal, perfumes and fine jewellery. There are chic international fashion labels, outstanding local art, collectible’s, crafts and blended rums.

Cayman Brac is a rugged and charming

14 square miles and provides

adventure seekers and nature

lovers an opportunity to get

close to the islands dramatic

scenery. You can explore the limestone

caves and sinkholes or go diving in the crystal clear waters. Or maybe explore the criss‐cross of hiking trails through the island, many of which lead to historic sites. The warm and welcoming people of Brac, known as Brackers, love sharing tales of their island with its visitors. The laid back, friendly hotels and resorts are the perfect place to relax and unwind after an adventurous day.

The least developed and smallest island is Little Cayman. The

beautiful island offers seclusion and striking scenery, making it

the perfect honeymoon island or romantic getaway. Only ten

miles long and one mile wide Little Cayman offers sun

drenched, glistening beaches and miles of untouched tropical

wilderness. Why not venture to remote South Hole Sound

Lagoon for a private swim in water that is every shade of blue

or rent a scooter and meander around the island. Little Cayman is quiet but the island comes alive with the sounds of reggae and steel drums during the annual Mardi Gras celebration, Little Cayman Pirates Week and the Little Cayman Cook‐off.

Much of the islands beauty lies beneath the waves and Bloody Bay Wall Marine Park is one of the most popular dive sites in the Caribbean. The waters of Little Cayman are home to lobster, octopus, eagle rays, reefs sharks, turtles and every variety of tropical fish. Little Cayman is also home to the largest colony of Red Footed Boobies in the Western Hemisphere and is a bird watchers dream.

Little Cayman has timeless beauty, unspoiled natural

surroundings and is the most

tranquil of the three islands.

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A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road.

He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.

The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.

Much to his dismay, the rabbit is the Easter Bunny, and he is DEAD .

The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over.

She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.

"I feel terrible," ! he explains, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny with my car and KILLED HIM." The blonde says, "Don't worry."

She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can.

She walks over to the limp, dead Easter Bunny, bends down, and sprays the contents onto him.

The Easter Bunny jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.

Ten feet away he stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished.

He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can?

What did you spray on the Easter Bunny ?"

The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.

It says..

"Hair Spray Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave."

Â

As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a damn.

It's the tortoise life for me!

1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.

3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.

4. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years. And you tell me to exercise??

I don't think so.

Go around me!

This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in the Cornish Guardian.

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cosy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me..

Call 01272-6420 and ask for Annie, I'll be waiting.....

Over 150 men found themselves talking to the Truro RSPCA

The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, 'When you die and go to Heaven, which part of your body goes first?'

Suzy raised her hand and said, 'I think it's your hands.'

'Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?'

Suzy replied: 'Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first.'

'What a wonderful answer!', the nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, 'Sister, I think it's your feet.'

The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face.

'Now, Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?'

Johnny said: 'Well, I walked past Mum and Dad's bedroom the other night.

Mum had her legs up in the air and she was saying: 'Oh God! I'm coming!'

If Dad hadn't pinned her down, I reckon we'd have lost her."

The nun had to leave the room.

APRIL CELEBRI ROBERT DOWNEY JR – APRIL 4TH 1965 The American actor made his screen debut a the age of five, appearing in his father’s film Pound. He appeared in Less Than Zero, Weird Science, Air America and Natural Born Killers. He starred as the title character in Chaplin, earning him an Oscar nomination for Best Actor. After release from prison in 2000 for drug charges he playing Ally McBeal’s love interest in the TV series. He played the title character in Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes in 2009 and again in 2011’s Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows.

His most recent films include the role as Tony Stark/Iron Man in Iron Man, Iron Man 2, The Avengers and this months release Iron Man 3.

DAVID BLAINE – APRIL 4TH 1973 The American illusionist is best known for his high profile feats of endurance and has made his name as a performer of street and close up magic. He has been buried under a 3.5 ton tank of water in New York and has been encased in a block of ice in Times Square. He remained on a 100 foot high, 22 inch wide pillar for 35 hours. David Blaine and his fiancée Alizee Guinochet, have a daughter, Dessa born on January 27th 2011.

MYLEENE KLASS – APRIL 6TH 1978 The English singer, pianist, media personality and model was originally a member of Popstars finalists Hear Say, whose first single was the fastest‐ selling non‐charitable record ever. Klass has released two solo classical albums but she is known now more for her TV presenting. Klass took part in the 6th series of I'm a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here in which she finished in second place, behind Matt Willis. After only one week on the show Klass became the most searched for celebrity on MSN. As of April 2012 her net worth was estimated at £11 million.

ROBIN WRIGHT – APRIL 8TH 1966 The American actress starred on the TV series Santa Barbara. She then starred in films The Princess Bride, Forrest Gump, Toys, Unbreakable and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. She was married to actor Sean Penn from 1996 to 2010 with whom she had two children. It was reported that she is now seeing actor Ben Foster.

ITY BIRTHDAYS RACHEL STEVENS – APRIL 9TH 1978 A former member of pop group S Club the English singer is also an actress, presenter, TV personality and model. Over the five years they were together, S Club had 4 UK No.1 singles, a No.1 album & a string of hits throughout Europe, the US, Asia, Latin America & Africa. Stevens was partnered with Vincent Simone on Strictly Come Dancing in 2008. They hold the record for the most perfect 10s ever achieved in any series of the show although they finished in 2nd place. Steven’s is married to Alex Bourne and they have a little girl Amelie.

LISA STANSFIELD – APRIL 11TH 1966 Lisa’s first television appearance was on a talent show in 1982, which she won. She co‐hosted the children’s pop show Razzamatazz and also sang radio jingles heard on BBC GMR. She was signed by Arista and her first UK No1 single All Around the World gained international recognition. Other hits include This Is the Right Time, Live Together and You Can’t Deny It. In 1992 she performed Queen songs alongside George Michael at the Freddie Mercury tribute concert. Lisa has sold and estimated 20 million records worldwide. She is married to English musician Ian Devaney.

ANDY GARCIA – APRIL 12TH 1956 The Cuban American actor became well known after appearing in successful films including The Godfather Part III, The Untouchables, Internal Affairs, When A Man Loves a Woman, Ocean’s Eleven, Ocean’s 12 and Ocean’s Thirteen. Garcia was nominated for the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in The Godfather Part III. He is married to Maria Victoria Lorido with whom he has four children.

TH EMMA THOMPSON – APRIL 15 1959 The British actress, comedian and screenwriter had her first major role in the romantic comedy The Tall Guy opposite Jeff Goldblum. She won the Oscar and a BAFTA for best actress for her role in Howard's End. She scripted and starred in Sense & Sensibility. Other credits include the Harry Potter film series, Love Actually, Nanny McPhee and Men In Black 3.

She was married to actor Kenneth Branagh from 1989 to 1995. Thompson married actor Greg Wise in 2003 and they have a daughter Gaia Romilly and an adopted Rwandan refugee named Tindyewa Agaba.

ARIES This will be a powerhouse month for you with several planets in your sign. The Sun, Venus, Mars, and Uranus all bring individual strengths to heighten your natural abilities. The presence of Venus will help you get along better with others. The Sun and Mars will tend to bring out assertiveness and independence. Uranus has been in your sign for a while to make you even more wilful and independent. A New Moon in your sign will feel like a fresh start.

You'll take on new projects and initiatives. Pluto in Capricorn will bring complications in your career.

TAURUS Several planets in Aries this month will make you feel uncomfortable and stressed when dealing with institutions like hospitals, universities, and government offices. It will be frustrating and take a lot of time and energy to get through red tape. You'll also focus on resolving some of your internal baggage. A New Moon on April 10 will further serve to push you to take action and move forward. You'll spend time with friends and associates and make sacrifices if someone is in need. You'll feel supported and that your concerns are being heard. A Full Moon in Scorpio on April 25 will bring tension with others.

GEMINI Your main emphasis this month will be on friendships and dealing with groups or other like‐minded individuals. You'll be a leader and facilitator. You'll get along well for the most part, and you may organize meetings and gatherings. The presence of several planets in Aries and Uranus in particular will make life exciting and bring a lot of change. A New Moon in Aries on April 10 will help you make a fresh start with some of your activities and goals. Career matters may be a little confusing. You'll need to step back and take time to reflect on your current direction and overall strategy.

CANCER This month you'll be assertive and go after your career goals. Don't sit back and wait for things to happen. You now have a unique opportunity to take charge and make changes, but you'll have to be assertive and it might not be easy. The New Moon in Aries on April 10 will also help give you a fresh approach and new perspective. You'll be able to charge ahead without fear. The Full Moon in Scorpio on April 25 might bring some difficulties with romance and love. The presence of Saturn in Scorpio will keep you from properly expressing your feelings. You may be blocked creatively.

LEO A strong influence from several planets in Aries will help you feel motivated and excited about the future this month. Some of your plans could include travel, education, writing, or teaching.

You might decide to go back to school or start working on a book project. You'll have the opportunity to connect with others and facilitate with networking or sharing information. A New Moon in Aries on April 10 will aid in all of this due to your fresh perspective and changing goals. A Full Moon on April 25 will bring tension at home or with other close family members.

VIRGO Several changes and developments will happen in relation to loans, settlements, and joint finances. A team effort will be needed and this will be difficult to manage because you'll be very strong willed and opinionated. Be diplomatic when dealing with other people, and avoid losing your temper. A New Moon in Aries on April 10 will help you stand up for yourself. Pluto in Capricorn will bring changes and transformation in love and romance. You may have a creative breakthrough. Mercury and Neptune in Pisces will affect your relationships in a positive way.

LIBRA You could feel stressed and overwhelmed by pressure from within and from others. Someone might push you to take action or be more assertive. You know you should do this, but you'll have to work hard at being less passive. If you can be independent and strong, you'll feel much more confident and self‐assured. A New Moon in Aries will help you avoid doing things to please others for a while so you can focus on what you want instead. This might cause conflict, but it will increase your personal power. Work situations may be confusing this month.

Dealing with misunderstandings will require clear communication.

SCORPIO Much of your time and energy will be focused on work this month. You'll take the initiative and begin new projects with enthusiasm. You might not get all the support you'd like, however, and tend to try to do everything yourself. Your schedule will be busy and your work life fast paced. You'll also take action on health concerns and try to resolve some issues.

A New Moon in Aries will urge you not to wait. Be proactive over the next month. A Full Moon and Saturn in your sign will bring tension and a few setbacks around April 25, especially if don't take time to rest.

SAGITTARIUS Your love life will heat up this month due to the presence of the Sun, Venus, Mars, and Uranus in your romance sector. Expect to be demonstrative, proactive, and frank when dealing with a lover.

Whether you've been together for a while or this is a new attraction, you won't hold back. A New Moon in Aries on April 10 will bring out high energy and enthusiasm for love matters, but it will also boost your creativity. Relationship issues will be high‐ lighted, however. You may experience health concerns, focus on past hurts, or have self‐doubt during the Full Moon on April 25.

CAPRICORN This month would be a good time to renovate or organize your home. You'll be motivated to rearrange things, buy new items, and get rid of clutter. You'll be organized, eager for change, and full of new ideas for decorating. Under the current influences in Aries, you'll take action and get things done. You might move to a new place or make the decision to do so. A New Moon in Aries on April 10 will make you feel like you have a fresh start. You'll also spend a lot of time and energy on family matters. A neighbour or member of your community might need your assistance.

AQUARIUS You'll become involved in many projects and activities going on in your community. You'll be busy and constantly on the go but love the change and variety. You might take a short course or attend a local seminar, or you could visit relatives or neighbours. Career matters may become stalled or problematic with Saturn in that sector this month. A Full Moon in Scorpio on April 25 will also create a few headaches for the next month. You might need to do some work, whether that means creating a new resume or up‐ grading your skills.

PISCES This could be a difficult month, financially, with a lot going on. You might become overextended if you spend too much or have too many demands on your resources. There will many unforeseen circumstances and expenses to deal with. Take the time to read contracts and warranties so you don't lose money. Pay attention to detail and don't rush decisions even though you want instant results. Jupiter in Gemini will serve to expand any communication issues you have with family members. There could be power struggles. You'll tend to exaggerate problems and you may be over‐ bearing.

MOTOR RENAULT CLIO R

2013 - New Renault Clio R.S. 2 The all-new Renault Clio RS 200 EDC takes the light hot-hatch segment to an entirely new level.

Whether it can still satisfy the Renault Sport purists is a different question, however.

Unlike the previous two generations of Renault Clio RS that made use of a 2.0-litre naturally aspirated engine coupled to a six-speed manual, the new car makes use of a Nissan-Renault engineered 1.6-litre turbocharged four.

It puts out the same power as the previous model, at 147kW (200hp, hence the RS 200 moniker) and comes up with 240Nm of torque – 25Nm more than before, but over a wider rev band. For the first time ever, a Renault Sport model utilises a dual-clutch automatic transmission, without the option for a manual gearbox.

There’s no doubt that a manual transmission offers greater engagement levels, but not only is the auto faster and more convenient, but it’s hard to argue that it will also lure in an entirely new buyer group who would never have considered an RS in the past. This is important because in this day and age the folks at Renault Sport have to justify their existence to the bean counters.

On the whole, the new Clio RS looks the business. While its competitors tend to look like lightly modified versions of their originals, the French looks far more ‘enhanced’ than its vanilla siblings.

RING RS 200 EDC - 2013

200 EDC, Test drive, Granada, Spain To drive the new Renault Clio RS, we came to Granada, Spain, where the roads are twisty and narrow and the rain relentless. Here was our first taste of the new 1.6litre turbo that will also power the forthcoming Nissan Pulsar SSS. Although the old 2.0-litre naturally aspirated unit was a gem, the new 1.6 turbo is far more elastic at low revs, enhancing driveability, while it still loves to be pedalled enthusiastically. Then there’s the fuel economy figure of 6.3L/100km, a vast improvement over its predecessor.

In the country side the hot hatch is king and the Clio RS is no exception. Press the RS Drive button, which goes from normal to sport and race mode, select Sport and away you go. In this setting the accelerator becomes more responsive, the electronic controls accept more sliding before intervening and the dualclutch transmissions shift times are reduced from 200ms (normal) to 170ms.

Feed in power and the turbo comes to life, instantly. There’s that overwhelming intake sound throughout the cabin which is not only delightful for any car enthusiast but provides feedback on the turbo’s state.

Around bends the Clio RS is miles ahead of its rivals in terms of engagement and feedback. The steering is spot on, with even the tiniest input resulting in a corresponding output. There’s a genuine sense of connection to the road and you can feel the instant the Clio is about to lose grip, long before the computer steps in – a sign of any well-engineered sports car.

It does have a tendency to over steer if you lift your foot of the accelerator pedal mid-corner, particularly in the wet. This is a familiar characteristic to current-generation Clio RS owners and is a source of undeniable fun.

A staggering 30 million of us admit to having out of

date food in our fridge. Alarmingly, although half of

us say we would never serve a guest food that is out

of date, that means that there are

still around 1.2 million potential

hosts in Britain who would secretly

scrape off the mouldy parts and

then serve up the rest. According

to new research, three quarters of

us would still eat food that was

past its use by date, happy to trust

our nose and judgement with a

quick sniff test.

If you're going round to your

neighbours for a dinner party this weekend you'd better beware as two thirds of Brits think that the use by date is just a guide. Old cheese tops the list for the average Brit as the worst offender but the top 10 out of date chilled items in the UK today are:

Cheese

Jar of curry sauce

Yogurt

Eggs

Milk

Open can of beans

Fruit

Bread

Meat

Fish

Behind closed doors, over a quarter of us cite fridge habits as the cause of arguments with our housemates or partner. Topics that really tick us off include how things are stored, like a half eaten tin of beans left uncovered.

In fact, one in 10 Brits say they argue with their partner on whether things should be refrigerated, such as eggs, and with over half of people wrongly believing eggs have to be kept in the fridge, while more than 40 per cent think that jam, marmalade, honey and ketchup should be kept cooled, despite being fine to be stored at room temperature.

Top 10 things Brits refrigerate unnecessarily:

1. Eggs

2. Jam/marmalade

3. Honey

4. Onions

5. Garlic

6. Bread

7. Potatoes

8. Bananas

9. Dried Fruit

10. Tinned vegetables

Confirming that the contents of our

fridges can speak volumes, when it

comes to our friends one fifth of

Britons admitted they judge others'

lifestyle choices by the contents of their fridge. Indeed, one in eight

admitted they would be unlikely to go to a friend's house for dinner if their

fridge was messy or dirty and more men than women agreed that if they

spotted budget brands in the fridge they would think that their friend was

tight.

Teresa Arbuckle of Beko Plc, who carried out the poll, says: Our survey

reveals that we are nation who judge each other on the contents of our

chiller ‐ the fridge is the new status symbol. So it is surprising to learn that

so many of us are running on empty where our food is concerned, almost a

third of people saying their fridge usually contains the bare minimum to

get them through the week. Beko plc has enlisted the assistance of 2012

Masterchef winner Shelina Permalloo who agrees: The rising popularity of

entertaining at home, friends and neighbours will have plenty of

opportunity to peep in your fridge.

It is important to keep your fridge stocked up and well maintained not only

to avoid embarrassing questions from house guests, but also to make sure

ourselves and our families aren't being exposed to any health risks. And as

any host will tell you, cooking from

scratch and home entertaining is an

easy way to impress your guests ‐ and

lots of fun too!

MUSHROOM & STILTON TARTS

These irresistible canapés are always a big hit at parties and ‐ even better ‐ are very simple to make.

Serves 6.

INGREDIENTS:

One sheet ready rolled shortcrust pastry One tablespoon olive oil One onion, finely chopped One garlic clove, minced 125g mushrooms, thinly sliced One to two tbsp white wine 125ml single cream Two small eggs Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste 125g Stilton, crumbled Handful of chives, chopped

METHOD:

1. Pre‐heat oven to 200 C, gas mark 6.

2. Roll out pastry about to about 5mm thick and use to line 6 mini fluted tart tins. Refrigerate for 30 minutes.

3. Cover each with greaseproof paper and blind bake by weighing down with dried beans for 15 minutes.

4. Heat olive oil in frying pan over medium heat, sauté onion until soft and add garlic, mush‐ rooms and wine.

5. Turn up heat to medium high and fry until golden. Leave mixture to cool.

6. Lightly whisk cream with eggs and season. Stir in crumbled Stilton and mushroom mixture.

7. Pour into pastry cases and bake for 15 to 20 minutes until golden.

8. Serve warm on a bed of lightly dressed rocket and garnish with chives.

CRISPY ROAST PORK BELLY

An inexpensive Chinese dish, this takes time to prepare but is well worth the effort. Serves 4‐6.

INGREDIENTS:

1.5 kg/3lb 5oz boneless pork belly, with rind Four tbsp coarse sea salt Two tbsp ground roasted Sichuan peppercorns Two tsp freshly ground white pepper Two tbsp five spice powder One tbsp caster sugar

METHOD:

1. Pierce pork rind with a sharp fork or knife until skin is covered with fine holes.

2. Insert a meat hook into the meat to secure it. Boil a large pan of water and use a large ladle to pour the water over the pork rind several times over a sink.

3. Set pork aside, heat a wok and add salt, peppers, five spice powder and sugar and stir‐fry for three minutes. Allow to cool slightly.

4. When mixture is cool enough to handle, rub it into pork flesh.

5. Hang pork to dry for eight hours or overnight in a cool place.

6. Preheat oven to 200C, gas mark 6.

7. Place pork on wire rack, rind side up, over a deep roasting pan filled about one third with water and roast for 20 minutes.

8. Reduce heat to 180C, gas mark 4 and roast for two hours.

9. Turn oven up to 230C, gas mark 8 and cook for 15 minutes. Remove from oven and allow to cool.

10. Carve into bite‐size pieces and serve with egg fried rice.

CLASSIC CRÈME BULEE

A fool‐proof recipe for this popular dessert which is guaranteed to put smile on any diner's face.

Serves 2.

INGREDIENTS:

100ml milk 100ml double cream One tsp vanilla paste (or seeds from one small vanilla pod) Three dessert spoons of sugar

Two eggs

Three dessert spoons of sugar Two to four dessert spoons of sugar for topping

METHOD:

1. Preheat oven to 150C, gas mark 2.

2. Make custard by heating milk, cream, vanilla and three dessert spoons of sugar in a saucepan, whisking until blended. Slowly bring to boil.

3. While custard is heating up, lightly whisk eggs and three dessert spoons of sugar in a bowl until smooth.

4. Take milk mixture off heat as soon as it boils and, whisking all the time, add to eggs.

5. Sieve mixture into a jug and pour custard into ramekins.

6. Place in bain marie and cook in oven for 30 minutes. Allow to cool.

7. Top each ramekin with a flat dessert spoon of sugar and use a blow torch to caramelise.

Doting owners have always spoiled their pet

pooches, showering them with tailor‐made

clothes, toys and even jewellery.

The trend for treating our four‐legged

companions as an extension of our own

personal style has rocketed in recent years

with the popularity of designer doggies which

have become de rigueur for any self‐respecting model or WAG.

Now a new craze is sweeping the international dog world ‐ dying dogs to look like wild animals, or to match your latest decor or outfit. From pandas to rainbow‐coloured peacocks, the upper class fad has been sweeping China as pet owners compete to colour their canine companions with the striped look most popular in this Year of the Tiger. The craze has even resulted in the emergence of dog dying competitions as wealthy owners vie with each other for the title of Most Colourful Canine.

Dog dying is also a well‐established business in Japan and America where they term it creative grooming but is still quite rare in Britain with only a few salons offering the service.

The UK already has salons offering doggy mud baths and nail varnish

and a few are now dipping their

toes into the world of coloured

canines in response to an

emerging demand from owners.

Some vets have warned that dying

pets could be potentially damaging

to the dog's mental and or physical

well being while others have

expressed concerns that even if

the dye is safe, this process alters

the way the dog looks and smells

to other animals and could affect

how they interact.

Other critics say the trend is inhumane and forces the dog to undergo hours of dying and grooming. Harry Potter actress Emma Watson made headlines when she was spotted leaving a salon with a one‐year‐old Maltese terrier after the pup had been dyed fuchsia. Unsurprisingly, the photos sparked fierce debate among dog lov‐ ers, many of whom are highly critical of the practice.

Stuart Simons, who runs Groom Dog City in east London where Emma had her pooch pampered, has been offering the service for the last two years and buys in specialist dyes that are specifically designed for dogs. He also conducts health checks as part of each consultation and refuses to carry out multi‐coloured makeovers as this would mean the dog spending too long on the grooming table. The number one colour in the popularity stakes is, somewhat predictably, pink but you can also get doggy dye in 12 striking colours ‐ Monster Green, Vampire Red and Silver Shimmer. He says the practice is just a bit of fun and says it's just an individual statement, similar to having a tattoo done.

So for the definitive answer, we consulted a vet with leading pet food manufacturer Butcher's.

He points out that dying hair has its risks for humans therefore this risk exists with dogs, and can

be exaggerated if you are covering the whole body. If

you really are intent on giving your prized pooch a make

over, veterinary advice says it's vital to ensure whatever

product you use is anti‐allergenic.

He advises: For dogs with a white coat, the situation may

be much more dangerous, as their skin and hair are so

delicate. From a vet perspective the focus is for pet

welfare, which includes educating owners on how to

care for the health and proper condition of the skin and

promote a shiny healthy coat. Sounds like you might be

better making the most of your pooch's natural

attributes as colour can't really make many of them

more beautiful than they already are!

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This Voucher is Valid until 30th April 2013

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This Voucher is Valid until 30th April 2013

This Voucher is Valid until 30th April 2013

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This Voucher is Valid until 30th April 2013

This Voucher is Valid until 30th April 2013

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This Voucher is Valid until 30th April 2013

This Voucher is Valid until 30th April 2013

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