The Downstairs Zine
the gay one.
WE WILL GIVE SPACE FOR EVERYONE TO SHARE AS MUCH OR AS LITTLE AS THEY LIKE // WE WILL NOT USE SCARE OR SHAME TACTICS // WE WILL BE AWARE OF SOCIETAL NORMS THAT INFLUENCE US ALL // WE WILL BE NON-JUDGEMENTAL AND OPEN-MINDED // WE WILL NOT ASSUME SOMEONE’S GENDER OR SEXUAL IDENTITY // WE WILL CELEBRATE ALL BODIES REGARDLESS OF SHAPE,SIZE OR EXPRESSION.
THE STONEWALL RIOTS IN 1969 STARTED THE MODERN DAY GAY RIGHTS MOVEMENT --- WHICH IS THE DAY THAT PRIDE PARADES ALL OVER THE WORLD PEACEFUL MEDIUM OF PROTEST WAS DISCOVERED --ALTHOUGH ID PROVOKED, REVOLTS WERE STILL FOUGHT WITH THE FORCE OF A RHINO
To my darling, Love to me is feeling safe. When you feel you can let your hair down without fear of judgement. Love is when you’ve laughed so long that you no longer make a sound, left gasping for air. It feels like that first sip of cider on a hot summers day, a sigh of releif. Love is doing anything and everything for a person, no matter how much it may hurt. An emotionthat’ll get you dancing until the sun comes up, crying until youre out of tears. Love is confusion, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Eternally yours, R.
what does gay love look and feel like?
Looks like beauty, feels like freedom. - Cemre Coffee dates and picnics in the park. - Sophie Communication and sex toys. - Cherry Love and understanding. - Polly Right. When you see it, it doesn’t look uncomfortable. When you feel it, it’s not wrong. - Ritchie Taking a risk to be with someone that you love. - Ellie Rather than learning to understand each other, there is a feeling as if you already do. - Eloise It feels like when the sun hits the horizon and it’s beauty reflects upon the waves. - Kristina It feels like being a spy - always sneaking around to be in love, but so worth it. A spy in love. - Riley Like coming home after a long day and taking of your shoes to put your feet up. - Joe
Binder Safety
In todays society and education, we aren’t really told about what chest binding is, who does it or how to do it safely. Chest binding is something that may be done for a variety of reasons, not just if you are transgender. It Is the process of tightly binding the breasts in order to create a much flatter looking chest. Commonly this is done to appear more generically ‘masculine’ but its important to recognise that this is not always the reason. I myself bind my chest because I want to present myself in a neutral and androgynous way. Its really important to bind your chest in a safe way though otherwise it could have a really detrimental effect on your physical health as well as mental health. Not many people know that there are actually multiple different styles of binders. This is great because it means you can find the right style of chest binding for you. The main ones are: 1. Long shirt or T shirt style 2. Sports bra style 3. Middle length or ‘crop top’ style 4. Vest style Making the decision to start binding your chest can often be a difficult one. Its important to access as much support as you possibly can given your personal circumstance. There are loads of great online communities and outlets to help with this too. If you’re thinking about chest binding then its a good idea to do some research into different brands as well as different methods. Be careful though! Theres some binder advice out there that isn’t safe or accurate. Be sure to double check your sources of information and cross reference with other places too. To help you out here are some really important things you must never do when binding your chest: DO NOT: 1. USE ANY KIND OF TAPE TO BIND YOUR CHEST!!! This is a really dangerous practice for several reasons. Using tape on is very likely to dry out and damage your skin and can even rip and break your skin when removing it. It’s also a really painful process. People are drawn to the idea of using tape because it can bind your chest very tightly BUT THIS IS NOT SAFE! If you bind your chest too tightly then this can have a range of effects on your physical health. It’s likely to bruise your ribcage and chest as well as making it difficult to breathe. 2. USE ACE OR ELASTIC BANDAGES!!! This another extremely dangerous practice. People are often drawn to this as its cheap but this is not worth the risk!! Using Ace bandages can break your ribs not to mention extreme
Binder Safety.
damage and bruising. And it hurts - trust me ! Ace bandages are specifically designed to restrict movement so every time you take a breath they get tighter and tighter on your chest! If you want to make a DIY binder for budget reasons then there are several safe ways to do so. Look up several methods online but remember to double check your information before you take it as fact! A great way to make your own binder is using an old swimming costume :) . 3. WEAR YOUR BINDER FOR MORE THAN 6-8 HOURS. It is really important to give your body a break from wearing your binder so try not to wear it for too long during the day, especially when starting out. 4. MACHINE WASH YOUR BINDER! There are some binders that are safe to machine wash but I would still highly advise against it. This is just because its really likely to change the shape of it and then it can essentially become useless. Binders are expensive so you don’t want to take this risk. Instead, hand wash your binders :) 5. WORKOUT IN YOUR BINDER. Now I know that this is not ideal but it isn’t a great idea to exercise in your binder unless its specifically designed for workouts. This is for safety reasons. When exercising its really important you can breathe easily. 6. WEAR YOUR BINDER FOR DAYS WITHOUT WASHING. This is because it will smell and become uncomfortable. It can be difficult, especially if you just have one binder. Its not ideal to not be able to wear your binder most of the time but adhering to the advice is important. Remember though, it doesn’t take long to hand wash and dry your binder! The great thing is there are some great binder donation programs out there to help people who can’t necessarily afford to buy their own binders. If you can afford to buy one though that’s great! There are loads of great sites out there but some I would recommend are ‘Underworks’ and ‘GC2B’. A great article to tell you more about different brands and binder exchange/donation programs is the 5CC article ; ‘Binding 101’.
Advice shared by Vita Shepard.
ANDROGYNOUS Identifying and / or presenting as neither specifically masculine nore feminine. AGENDER One who does not identify as a particular gender. GENDER NON-CONFORMING One whose physical or behaivoural characteristics do not correspond to the traditional expectations of their bitrh assigned gender. GENDERFLUID One who embraces fluidity of gender identity. GENDERQUEER One who does not identify with a single or fixed gender.
we see you always in all ways.
Non Binary. AN UMBRELLA TERM FOR A PERSON WHO IDENTIFIES WITH OR EXRPRESSES A GENDER IDENTITY THAT IS NEITHER ENITRELY MALE NORE ENTIRELY FEMALE.
So my ex wife and I had been together for 4 years. We owned a home and we were in a civil partnership. We wanted a child desperately so we initially went to our GP who told us that our lifestyle had made us “intentionally infertile” and because we didn’t have a legitimate fertility problem the NHS couldn’t help us. So we went down the private route. It took us a year to save for the first round which was unsuccessful. We then put two rounds on credit cards one successful but led to a miscarriage and one unsuccessful. We then took out a loan for another unsuccessful round. Eventually we ran out of money and options so we decided to look into home insemination via friends. Without the help of the fertility clinic we had to monitor everything ourselves. Peeing on sticks every day, temperature checks, set underwear for set days, analysing loo roll, logging books, apps and websites. Plus drinking weird concoctions for good luck. We attempted to conceive with 2 friends however, because they don’t have a vested interest in the project they were not going to change their plans at a drop of a hat because my temperature is right but because you are dealing with tight schedules and small windows of opportunity if they didn’t drop everything then you loose a whole month and have to start all over again. Eventually the relationship with both friends broke down and that was that. Until our friends told us about the gross business of under the counter sperm.... something that I would never never have got involved with. I wanted to save for more treatment via clinic but my ex wife refused to waste the money after all our previous attempts had been unsuccessful and left us 15k in debt. Eventually she convinced me. Essentially it’s a Facebook for sperm donors. It’s not licenced or regulated and essentially really stupid. People advertise sperm, eggs, surrogacy all kinds of things from all over the world. It led to us meeting weird men in dark corners of train stations, truck stops and car parks who handed over pots of sperm that we kept in our bras to keep warm on the trip home. On one occasion I had to inseminate myself in the car because we were stuck in traffic and we couldn’t leave it for longer than 30 minutes. It was all very seedy, disgusting and degrading. After several unsuccessful attempts with 3 different donors we eventually found a guy who seemed quite nice and he even offered to travel to our house to donate which we stupidly agreed to. We worked together for 5 months and eventually found out that we were pregnant. We were overjoyed but cautious. All the donor wanted was a picture of the baby once she was
Fammily Planning within the LBGTQ+ community.
born to confirm that everything had gone well. That was it. We didn’t see him for 9 months. Khali was born in May. We sent the picture as agreed with a basic text regarding how it went. The donor randomly turned up at the hospital within an hour and stayed for 4 hours. The next day he showed up again. The following day he text continuously. We told him we were home and trying to settle... he showed up there. He harassed us from the day she was born until August. Went to the police but they couldn’t do anything other than “have a word” with him. At the end of September he filed an application through court for joint custody of Khali. We didn’t know that this was even possible because my ex wife and I were legal parents of Khali according to the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act which also states that when two women are the legal parents of a child no man can be treated as a father for any circumstances. We thought it would be thrown out of court. We got to court in December 2014. The judge looked at the paperwork and said “I don’t know what to do about this” and he transferred it to the high court in London. The battle went on for 15 months. We were dissected and studied... every element of our lives was questioned. Whilst the proceedings were going on he moved into a flat within walking distance of our home. I turned up to my job after maternity leave and he had managed to get a job there too so I had to leave. I was terrified. My ex and I ended up remortgaging our house... it cost a total of 68k. My ex wife and I dealt with the stress of the legal proceedings and the debt differently. We eventually won the case but our lives were a mess and we were not the same people. A year after the case was finished (2016) we were separated. In May 2017 the donor made contact again and threatened legal action AGAIN! I didn’t think it was even possible for the matter to go back to court because we already had a high court ruling.... unfortunately that was not the case. I begged him not to do it again... I begged and begged and begged. He would threaten via e-mail. I would beg back he would disappear and just as I thought he was going to leave us alone he would contact again. We finally went back to court in September 2019 and I am still in the middle of this process for the second time. We are due for a final hearing at the end of April however, due to the covid-19 process I have no idea whether it will be postponed. The only advice I can ever give someone is go through the correct process. No matter how much money it costs or how long the wait. Never ever do it under the table like I did. It has ruined our lives.
A story shared by Helena Kempthorne.
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